the Haunting...

of the Holy Trinity.....

My name is Dr. Mick Von Caw and along with my assistant, Professor Lanny Von Ebenfrankenstein, am conducting an experiment on pararnormal experiences by Santa Barbarans who get too close to tall buildings...the overall effect has been a shared fixation to chop the tops off buildings over 40 feet high...why? we asked some folks that very question..why?
some of the responses were recorded: "well, there's strange things that happen beyond 40 ft"..."up there, things get a little crazy"..."I'd rather not discuss it".."there's nobody under 5ft 8inches who doesn't understand the implications of 60 ft buildings"..."I'm tired of looking up all the time".."ever since 9/11, I don't like tall buildings".."the well- being of my family depends on short buildings".. "our heritage is short buildings"...
ok ok I got it..geez. Lanny and I head over to a little 15 ft high restaurant on State St to get something to eat when in walks two other members of the group studying this building height phenomenon: Sheila Lodge and Mike Self, are they allegedly lesbian lovers or just "sisters"? Sheila looks possessed by a demon! Mike just keeps repeating campaign slogans...I tell them both to leave us alone while we're eating and I don't wanna puke my breakfast because these old gals gimme the blues...and to add to my deteriorating mood, in walks Kellam De Forest, the head of the Pearl Chase Society..I've watched this old dude at city council meetings and I got two words for you, pal: rest home. I finished eating and told Professor Von Ebenfrankenstein to find another lackey..I told him I was tired of all these ad hominem attacks on tall buildings and big things..I stepped out onto State St, headed for the Trinity church, the cool October wind licking my neck when all of a sudden a strange, yet beautiful woman grabbed my arm....
under the orange colored skies...

PETA tries to shock me??

well...your mother sucks cocks in hell!!!

..a new pet store opens in Carpinteria...PETA comes into Santa Barbara and tries to shock people into going vegan..they do this by showing a bloody dead person packaged up like chicken thighs at the meat counter...blood doesn't frighten me..have you ever had sex with a woman on her period..well I have and lemme tell ya..well.... I can't possibly explain it so you'll just have to find out for yourself...but it made me a braver person...

and then there's the story of the woman in Philly who advertised on Craig'slist for World Series tickets..she said she'd perform sex acts for tickets! Susan Finklestein is her name and she's not ugly, so if I had tickets and some extra time on my hands, would I do it? hmmmm...
Peta used to be a respected animal abuse organization..we should all watch out for animal abuse. However, there is a distinction between abuse and harvesting animals for food..an unrealized goal for me, besides going to Arizona to die in sweat hut, is to have sex with a few PETA girls...I'll have 'em eating meat in no time!
besides, PETA can be rather hypocritical at times: Animal lovers worldwide now have access to more than a decade’s worth of proof that People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) kills thousands of defenseless pets at its Norfolk, Virginia headquarters. Since 1998, PETA has opted to "put down" 21,339 adoptable dogs, cats, puppies, and kittens instead of finding homes for them.
PETA’s "Animal Record" report for 2008, filed with the Virginia Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services, shows that the animal rights group killed 95 percent of the dogs and cats in its care last year. During all of 2008, PETA found adoptive homes for just seven pets.
save the bears!!

my Santa Barbara...

I accept the Nobel Peace Prize...

these are the folks I wanna see in SB from now on..no more pretty boys and girls, no more mama's boys, no more trust funders, no more white punks on dope, no more old eaters-of-fish- eggs!!
..these..the real..the salt of the earth... such as Daisy and Violet Hilton the Siamese Twins, Schlitze the Pinhead Girl, Josephine Joseph the Half-Woman/Half-Man, Johnny Eck the Half Boy, Frances O'Connor the Turtle Girl, Peter Robinson the Living Human Skeleton, Olga Roderick the Bearded Lady, Koo Koo the Bird Girl..(hey how'd Wendy get in here???)
Martha Morris the Armless Wonder, and Randion the Living Torso (who rolls his own cigarettes despite having neither arms nor legs). However, this blog clearly portrays the "freaks" with dignity. As Madame Tetrallini (Rose Dione) tells someone, "These are all God's children." The true monsters according to this blog here, are the "normal" human beings, who will receive their just desserts (castration)!
and no more bigotry!!! "For the love of beauty is a deep-seated urge which dates back to the beginning of civilization"
Let's get jiggy friendly with "fringe" people.. from hoboes to sideshow tramps, let's find beauty not only in the physically whole, powerful, conventionally attractive characters like me and Olga Baclanova’s Cleopatra or Henry Victor’s Hercules, but in the authentic pinheads, armless women, legless men, Siamese twins, and the others who live in Santa Barbara...
let's live the peace we seek!!!