ride my seesaw...

school talk, one and one is two....

so it's 3:00 PM on a Friday and I leave the Lance DUI hearing....the whole day was spent with Genis trying to sell his case to Judge Hill....trying to prove the Police Dept shredded Lance's documents as a conspiracy against his rights..they didn't produce a shred of evidence...the three witnesses for the Police Dept were completely credible as to why things happened the way they happened........but it's 3:00 PM and I'm hot and bored..so I leave....

there's billion people out.. I go get a burger at Jack in the Box and there's a billion students on Milpas..

I speed towards the highway, dodging slowpokes...there's a billion people on the highway..if it wasn't for the Moody Blues on the radio singing "Ride my Seesaw" there would have been blood spilled all over Highway 101...but I saw an oasis on the horizon...

earlier in the day, I went into Santa Barbara to attend the Lance DUI hearing which started promptly at 10:00 AM....unfortunately, the lawyers and judge went into closed session for 45 minutes while we the audience sat there like fools...yes, we're all fools...

but so what..it's not the first time...besides, there's a lot of women in that courtroom who provide me with some pretty dirty fantasies and to them I say thank-you!!!

so after the delay, things get started..there's the usual suspects, the lawyers, Genis feeding info and papers to Scott Steepleton of the News-Press, the interns, the reporters, the cops, the witnesses....

the three witnesses from the city Records Dept were called and calmly explained their policy and procedures about shredding and storing documents... and Genis couldn't get anything on them..there was no conspiracy against Lance, no midnight shredding parties, no bad faith..no nothing which is why Lance kept leaving the courtroom to go pee about 15 times! It was embarrassing for the defense, who was over-ruled about fifty times!!

basically, Genis was trying to sell a car without any wheels, and claiming it was the fastest thing on the planet.... BUT HE HAD NOTHING!!!

oh Lady Justice ..have Mercy on us in the future...have Mercy on me....I beg you...please tell Judge Hill to tighten the leash on Genis and Lance....and for God's Sake, look at the evidence against Lance which is overwhelming...look at the video....put him on trial and be done with it...

Kasi Beutel was there ready to testify, but didn't due to all the wasted time....she was in the hall sitting down with her boyfriend, I think....she looked radiant.. and smiling...and on the mend...a stark contrast to Lance who looked nervous and befuddled...he was talking to Blanco who also looked clueless....

well, if I were these guys I'd be peeing every five minutes too!!

PS: speaking of clueless, I thought that Kasi was seated with her boyfriend, but I was wrong...that was Officer Peterson who originally stopped Lance...I need to clarify that before Kasi's husband beats him up! or beats me up!

spooky...

when I go into the court room, I need to maintain my independence...without fear or favor of friend or foe... some bloggers have the image of being troubled and very sick individuals, and I wanna keep it that way....believe me... you don't wanna get mixed up with a guy like me, Dotty, I'm a loner..a rebel...

now, I was reading the News-Press and found a story that wasn't writ by Lance's personal reporter Scott Steepleton...the story was about the city council candidate forum hosted by a private business group...the funny thing about it was Lance's psycho pal Cruzito Cruz was not invited to participate..

gee, I wonder why...and when he showed up to voice his displeasure, he was escorted off the premises by Fess Parker Hotel security just like that day he was escorted out of the courtroom after an infantile outburst...

two other candidates were excluded also... the reason given was they don't have viable chance to raise money...the News-Press didn't report that, but other online media did.. well, maybe if Cruzito robbed a bank to add to his criminal record, he could attend the next forum!!

these guys are just plain silly which brings me to Dale Francisco..Dale says that you should vote for people who are against the public employee unions...what else do you expect from a Team Wendy member?? Dale also says that union members are able to buy their bosses...that statement shows me that Dale has spent zero time in the working sector and knows nothing about the city workers..or their professional relationships....Dale, just take a look at any city employee hierarchy diagram and you'll see that bosses aren't bought...

the union has nothing to do with whose boss you are or who your boss is.... NOTHING...the union is simply there for contracts and grievances....you need to learn the difference between public service and public servitude, dude...my goodness, you Team Wendy members are nutty with union hysteria and ignorance...

remember, unionized city workers have been here for thirty years..the financial issues happened when the private sector corporations decided to defraud Americans...Enron, AIG, banks....remember that Dale?? or were you just one of the cheerleaders??

so don't under any circumstance vote for Dale Francisco, one of the three who wanted to spend $50000 of tax money to rearrange some benches on State Street because some of his supporters, who I can count on one hand and who work on State Street, are afraid of homeless people...

today, Peter Lance has another hearing in court and as we approach Halloween, things could get spooky....

wild thing...

they don't call it "wild card" for nothing!

so I'm watching the baseball games..the wildcard teams are battling it out..the Red Sox look like they're gonna make it..they hold a slim lead over the lowly Orioles.....the Rays are getting beat by the Yankees 7-0 .....then it rains in Baltimore...a rain delay...ok no problem...

then things get wild..the Rays start adding runs late and finally tie the Yanks, forcing extra innings..ok, so tthe Red Sox may have to play them in a one game playoff Thursday....the Sox should have no trouble beating the 63 -80 Orioles, should they...I mean they got a few 143 million dollar men, so they'll win..

but no, they didn't win, they choked..again... I can't believe it..the Rays come back from a 7 run deficit and beat the Yankees and the Red Sox lose in the ninth to the Orioles...I thank the O's for puttingt he Red Sox out of their misery..heads are gonna roll next year..that Carl Crawford dude sucks, is pulling in a huge contract, and he can't hit or play left field!! and I can't see Francona coming back for another seasson..or a few of those guys who are fat and old....

the Rays never gave up and found ways to win...they remind me of the 1994 Red Sox!

now, the Lance DUI hearing continues on Friday...there's lots of speculation as to what will happen, lots of smoke and mirrors coming from the Lance defense...but how can you defend a 0.09 DUI? a three martini joy ride in the middle of the night??

here's a rough clip of Lance with his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth, admitting he blew a 0.09 but was not "drunk"...

if the judge sees it, he can skip the trial and send Lance to rehab and save the taxpayers some money..

heroes and villains

hey, did you feel the earthquake?? nawww, it was just big fat obese Christian NJ guv Chris Christie in state to speak at the Reagan Library about evil teachers!!

so I'm watching the repeat of the Mr Wimpy Show to see exactly what Lance and Worthen said while discussing Kasi Beutel and Lance's DUI case.....

first, Lance who is visibly perturbed about the whole issue, says "anyone who keeps saying that Peter Lance (third person!!) was drunk driving..I got Noozhwak to change what they wrote three times.....a point zero nine is not drunk driving"....

ok..that's the clip the prosecution should use where Lance admits he had a 0.09 BAC after claiming in his News-Press series that Officer Beutel manipulated the breathalyser unit....

so if Kasi Beutel manipulated the test to get a 0.09 reading as Lance claims, why did Lance freely admit he had 0.09 on the Mr. Wimpy Show?? the whole case againt Lance is based on the allegation that he was DUI and blew a 0.09!! that's what the People vs Lance is all about!!

and now we have an elaborate scheme by Lance and his pals to shift the focus to Kasi Beutel and nearly everyone in the police dept and DA's office...all, according to Lance, have conspired against him and some other drunk drivers to " lie, forge, and frame" them in order to advance up the career ladder....then Mr Wimpy tries to call Kasi a sociopath and Lance stops him, saying "you won't get me to say that, it's defamatory"....

then Lance says he's just a guy trying to get at the truth....he claims was man-handled by Kasi when she put the cold, hard handcuffs on him...he cried about them being tightened around his wrists..well, that's what they do when you're arrested for DUI....I learned that on "World's Dumbest Drunk Drivers".....and Lance claims after he back-talked to Officer Beutel about a quota, she told him to "shut the fuck up"....I find this not credible as one of the kids on the witness stand who got arrested for DUI said Kasi was polite during his arrest...

a sociopath, Mr. Wimpy??

a person who drives a 2000 lb vehicle while under the influence of alcohol is a sociopath..a sociopath is a person who is antisocial, cares not for the well-being of others and shows no remorse even after the third DUI..often blaming others, like the cops, for interfering with their rightful privilege to drink and drive...that's a sociopath...is everyone on Team Wendy a sociopath??..YES....and it's the wrong path.....and a person whose job it is to keep these people off the road is a hero....

meet the beetles

so UCSB is spending alot of time worrying about invasive species...researchers are writing papers about the varmints that hitch rides from world traveling Americans, and then they get off and start doing all that damage to our environment...damn foreigners!!

now the latest nonsense from the folks at UCSB, which at one point was a great institution, is the attempt, as one hippie chick said, to bring biodiversity "back to the people"... in order to do that, they enlisted the help of the fire depts and started burning the vegetation around Coal Oil Point to get rid of invasive non-natives...in their place they will plant natives..and then, I guess the researchers and weed warriors will feel better about themselves..

Restoration Projects
COPR has a number of exotic and invasive species that must be eradicated or controlled (Table 1). These plants have degraded natural habitats and displaced native species. COPR has started removing the most invasive species such as Acacia, pampas grass, iceplant, and Myoporum (Figure 7). The grasslands (Figure 7) are also in need of restoration because European grasses dominate the vegetation and prevent native species to become established. Grazing and fire, which were natural phenomena at COPR, are now absent owing to fire suppression and loss of large native grazers. California native species of non-local origin have been introduced in the past to the Reserve as part of soil remediation projects, by accident, or by unauthorized planting. These plants must be removed to avoid hybridization with local genotypes and to limit confounding effects for researchers studying these species. Sites have been restored over the years through a number of volunteer efforts or grants.

I've never heard so much bullshit in my life, but anything to keep the grant (tax) money coming in!!

and I've observed this attitude and watched while the members of this native -only cult have spent untold sums of tax money to watch themselves piss in the wind...from the Channel Islands to the mainland, a program of anti foreign species propaganda is metered out to the press and the public falls for it...but if the public just took a look at the wasted efforts, they would pull the plug and start firing anyone who attempts to "restore" any patch of land , ever again..the whole notion that some species should not be here because they came from somewhere other than here, is flawed and silly...dispersal is a fact of life....and nature loves to disperse...

I like to point out the waste by Caltrans when they unnecessarily planted and irrigated the 101 road side form Santa Cruz to Carpinteria..esp from Padaro to Santa Claus Lane in Carp..they chopped down pines and eucs, installed an elaborate irrigation system which has been leaking for two months on Padaro, and now we have an ugly, ill conceived landscape project with many of the native plants dying becasue they can't thrive and won't adapt next to the ocean or highway...adaptibility is the keynote to survival....
people simply need to learn to leave things alone...

the latest propaganda is from UCSB..some stoner researchers claim that invasive insects are costing taxpayers billions....

from the Independent: The National Center for Ecological Analysis and Synthesis (NCEAS) in Santa Barbara has sponsored a group of scientists to research the impact that invasive forest insects have on taxpayers’ wallets — and according to a prepared statement from UCSB, taxpayers do indeed fork out large sums of money due to forest invasions of beetles...
that's misleading..the fight to get rid of invasive species is costing billions, not the actual species themselves.... and the fact remains: the majority of plant introductions have had little impact on natural systems in new areas of cultivation

Invasion Biology
One of the more pervasive topics in biology today is that of invasive species. This has consumed researchers across all fields of biology, from evolutionary biologists and ecologists to botanists and horticulturists. The arguments, debates, articles, research, facts, and myths have all led to finger pointing, botanical cries of outrage, doomsday extinctions, and further floral hysteria. The path of reality and compromise between players is a continuing battle that has brought warring factions to the tables, while at other times has led to covert lobbying and legislation...

who benefits from all this floral hysteria?? the folks who receive grants to study it, the chemical companies who sell pesticides, the tourist outfits who want you to visit the new improved native-only Channel Islands..and on and on....

and the taxpayers keep shelling out the money to promote "biodiversity"....there is no ecological problem with fennel on the roadside..but there is a psychological issue when people overreact to the growth of certain plants........and that's where the focus needs to be.....

smoke on the water

ok now we know that when it comes to blowing smoke out their ass, the News-Press looks like a freakin chimney...we know that..that's a fact... and they are planting messages in the paper to tamper with the jury.... well, I can plant messages, too...

but it seems some folks have stopped smoking....I haven't heard a peep from Lance atty Daryll Genis who was orally expelling smoke over on the Indie website...lately, there's nothing.. maybe he's starting to see the light...

the News-Press still is smoking because it's Wendy's money, Wendy's newspaper, Wendy's news, Wendy's way..well ok but let's not forget that it's Wendy's ex-husband's money, not Wendy's....

if it was her money that she actually worked and sweated for, she would have an understanding and appreciation for the working class..instead she's more interested in punks like Lance and Rob Lowe!

now, the next Lance DUI hearing is Sept 30 at 10:00 AM...although nothing is certain as the Calender Girl keeps jerking me around and sometime I show up and nobody's home....

but the News-Press and Lance keep givng us filler material like the latest subpoena front page story as they play up the "motion to dismiss" angle...but with the evidence provided OUT OF COURT against Lance by Lance, and highlighted here, that motion I bet will be denied..

my hope is they will start holding Lance and his defense accountable for all the bullshit, foer passing the buck, for the unethical witnesses, the drunks, pimps, shadow dancers that are trying to tell us he didn't blow a 0.09...Lance already admitted he did on Mr. Wimpy's Show and Mr. Wimpy suggested driving with a 0.2 BAC was ok........if they use that against Lance I will be thrilled...or the stuff about Blanco....or the crazy bigoted pastor witness..or the vodka swilling kids...or the fictional series that Lance wrote in the News-Press which was a sorry attempt to resurrect his investigative reporter image/career...or the lies spoken out of court about officers' behavior....

that's my hope....if the case goes to trial, the News-Press will be exposed, the DUI lawyers will be exposed, the boozehounds who drink n drive like it's a sport will expose themselves, and Lance will expose himself and be carted off to jail....and officer Kasi Beutel should come out smelling like a rose... and that would be smokin' !!!

Lord of the Flies

I bought a bible and an old wooden box for two bucks at St Joseph's thrift shop behind the church...the box I use for a book holder..I repurposed it as a lady suggested when I was looking at it..if times get tight, I can stand on the box, with that cool old bible in hand. and start preaching....

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me...

so I go on a hike Saturday after Friday's weather events..thunder and lightning, rain, wind gusts, warm tropical balmy tradewinds blowing through my mind...a flycatcher leisurely dining on an acorn...Mr. Flycatcher, you need to catch flies, not acorns

but before I reach my piece of paradise I pass by the new Lagunitas development....they rezoned this from ag to houses 10 years ago and now we're gonna get more people here..just what we don't need..and with the housing market already diluted, this will add to the problem...what a shame..we need more open space for agriculture not less!! the death of ag!!

and look at that..a bunch of elderly folks riding bikes..GTF outta my way...or I'll run you..oh, nevermind, you're close to death's door anyway...death will come to collect you soon enough, grampa!

ok.. I'm here..... I park it and get out and start my hike... I get down the road a piece and smell it....death.....rotting flesh..a stinking rotting corpse....and flies..everywhere flies...suddenly I'm covered in flies...bzzzzz...."""****..;.;;.;..;; ....little ones big ones crazy ones..."""::::**.,,.,.,.,""""bzzzzzz......I flick them off but they attack me again...then I see it on the side of the road....the source of the stinking festering pall in the air....a beautiful but dead gray fox...

what an animal...a canid that can climb trees....that can outsmart your domestic dog in a heartbeat...but is no match for a car....so alive in life, but so dead in death....
I took some pictures and my camera was soon covered in flies GODAMMIT..do you know why there were so many flies here..not because of the decaying fox so much but because some idiots had cut down all the roadside wildflowers..the castor, the fennel, the thistle and now there's nothing...those flowers have a natural bad bug deterrent in them, so I guess these people would rather be eaten by flies than hike and observe nature without being attacked by insects that wouldn't be here in such numbers if the native-only assholes had left the flowers and plants alone!!

I had to cut my hike short because the flies followed me down to the creek...and back up to my truck.... I grabbed some fennel which had sprouted, in spite of the cult's efforts to eradicate it..and rubbed it over my face and legs...I smell like licorice now and no flies on me
I'm planning an all out assault on the native-only cult members.....and remember, eucalyptus keeps ticks away....and these people are like ticks to me... and I will become the eucalyptus....

I think the fox would appreciate that , for even in death, he showed me the river of the water of life, bright as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the lamb, through the middle of the street... the fox rose for one brief moment and said: for I am the Alpha and Omega...and I believed...and the rest of the day I was filled with immense joy...

Independence Day

daycare centers and night school...

Well, I dreamed that always-the-bridesmaid politician Mike Stoker and his wife invited me over to their place and Joe Armendariz and Greg Gandrud were there....so I go over and they bitch about my blog and I explain it to them and they feed me mac n cheeze..so I'm eating it and they all leave while I watch TV in the TV room...

then I go outside and Mike and Joe are playing tennis! I survey the house and grounds and ask who owns this place, it's beautiful...lush and green and the house is immaculate..
Mike says "my mom"...then I go to the kitchen and there's a bunch of maple syrup spilling out of the refrigerator..so I clean it up, but it keeps spilling.. I tell Mike's wife and she just sighs... why is Mike living in Carp alone? I don't know and it's none of my business, just keep your hands off the public workers' paychecks, Mike!!!

then I'm back home and someone rings the doorbell and it's John Travolta and some other guy dressed up like penguins! so I show them around and then there's 4 or 5 miniature greyhound dogs, dressed up in red white and blue outfits, sitting on a bench....I watch as people come over and pet them....

and Das Williams wants to fine drunk drivers..good move Das...that's brilliant!

now, this dream may have been induced by two things..I saw a lady walking her dog in Santa Barbara..her little spaniel...the lady had the same hair style as the dog..short and curly..the dog then crapped on the lawn by the sidewalk where the gardeners had just mowed, and the lady picked it up in a doobag..and kept it..and walked on....I was dumbfounded..

the next thing was a story of 27-34 year olds living with their parents because of the "economy"... 27 -34 year old should never live with their parents unless giving care....

everyone should be out of the house by 18!!

how in the world are you gonna make it in the real world if you're still living with mom and dad at that age..one guy who lived back at home had the daily job of walking the family dog....
if this is the trend, if this is the state of American independence..

if you're still living at home with mommy and daddy when you should be out learning about life and earning a living, then the dogs have won....

anticipation

the Judge's socioeconomic eagle promenades....

in anticipation of the socioeconomic Peter Lance hearing, I had a socioeconomic dream last night that I was sitting in the court room #2 and a socioeconomic girl that looked like Carly Simon sat next to me and started asking me all kinds of questions...who are you what.. are doing here...are you married...she kept looking at me and asking me socioeconomic questions and sooner or later I got a bona fides from all her attention...

the socioeconomic Judge saw what was happening and said "Mr Von Caw! no cameras and no socioeconomic bona fides in my court room!!"
then I said your honor..my camera is off but well..this chick next to me" ...I pointed...but the Judge said "what chick?"
I looked and she was gone....then Lance and Mr. Wimpy walked in, hand in hand and I woke up....I tell ya, this case is messin' with my head!

socioeconomics

well, I tried to read Lanny Ebenstein's latest guestatorial in the News-Press but I got stuck and maybe you can help me..you see, Lanny used the word "socioeconomic" ten times in the article and FIVE TIMES IN ONE PARAGRAPH....needless to say, I got lost and can't figure out what he's talking about...other than there's some racist implication..
this is all like so totally socioeconomic!!

I'm Only Sleeping....

please don't wake me, no don't shake me

well, I don't mean to ignore Dr. Laura after all she's been through...with the black thing, the sailing scandal, the nude pictures, the war propaganda, the embarassing News-Press stint, the move to Sirius XM radio...if more people listened, maybe this POS stock would rise... but underneath all the weird imagery, I think, is a smart lady..and this smart lady has sent a message from her blog to Team Wendy members...notice the reference to too much alcohol, making money you haven't earned, and the poke at "middle-aged" women!

I copied it and here it is...

Sleep Deprivation Can Even Make You Unethical

An article in the New York Times about sleep said it’s a necessity, not a luxury. For a lot of people, it’s a luxury, but it turns out that it’s an absolute necessity on many levels. And most of you are living in a state of chronic sleep deprivation, which is a really bad thing.
“Studies have shown that people function best after seven to eight hours of sleep.” So it’s best at least to aim for seven. Get this: In the last 50 years, “the average night’s sleep for adults in the United States dropped to six and a half hours from more than eight.” Some experts predict that this is going to get worse, mainly because you folks permit yourselves to be distracted by emails, instant text messaging, online shopping, online porn…online anything. That flat, little screen in front of you is robbing you of sleep.

Now, what does that mean? Well I can’t blame it all on the fact that you’re doing the wrong things…you know, with advancing age (something I know nothing about yet), natural changes in sleep quality occur. It’s not unusual for people, as they get older, to take longer to fall asleep….they tend to get sleepier early in the evening, and they tend to awaken earlier in the morning. Much of the time “is spent in the lighter stages of sleep, less in the restorative deep sleep. R.E.M. sleep, during which the mind processes emotions and memories and relieves stress, declines with age.”

There are some bad habits you have that can ruin your sleep also:
Not getting enough physical activity
Not spending enough time outdoors (turns out “sunlight is the body’s main regulator of sleepiness and wakefulness”. That’s hormonal.)
Crappy diet
Sometimes “medications can disrupt sleep.”
“Having a partner who snores.”
Too much alcohol (it’s a nervous system depressant but, in fact, it disrupts sleep.)

And there are sleep-robbing health issues like arthritis that is painful, diabetes, depression, anxiety, sleep apnea, hot flashes…there are all kinds of things that happen that can disrupt our sleep. But there are a number of reasons we need our sleep. Restorative is at the top of the list. Also, you look a lot more attractive when you’re rested. Somebody actually paid to do a research project which in which photographs of people were taken when they had good sleep and when they hadn’t…and the research showed (I don’t know, did this research cost a million dollars?) that when you sleep, you look better! Really? I love this kind of research - it’s a true waste of money.

Losing sleep also makes you fatter or at least fatter than you’d otherwise be. Harvard looked at 68,000 middle-aged women, and followed them for 16 years, and “those who slept five hours or less each night were found to weigh 5.4 pounds more.” This is a 16 year research project to get that answer? Five pounds? Two weeks of potato chips; we can do that.

Basically this is the case, because when you’re up later, you tend to nosh…munch, munch, munch. You could add a pound in two weeks. So you need to get your sleep. If you can take naps, they also help your brain function, and improve your energy, your mood, and your productivity.
But I loved this tidbit from the Washington Post: “Sleep deprivation can make you unethical.” Two business school professors did some research in sleep labs. “They found that a lack of sleep led not just to poor performance on tasks that require ‘innovative thinking, risk analysis, strategic planning’- but also to increased deviant and unethical behavior.”

These people are ruder, have more inappropriate responses, and attempt to make money they haven’t earned. They tend to cheat. And the irony in this is that, in business, everybody gets so impressed if you’ve been up all night working on projects, papers, analysis, taking red-eye flights to meet clients…everybody considers you a hero. Instead, companies should really be giving you sleep awareness training (If there is such a thing), because these workaholic cultures, without the restorative opportunities, actually “cost the U.S. economy some $150 billion annually in accidents and productivity losses.” The percentage of folks “who sleep less than six hours a night has jumped from 13 to 20 percent” in the last 10 years.

So we become less ethical people and we don’t do what we have to do as well. Other than that, if you don’t want to sleep, I suppose it’s just fine.

References:
NY Times article
now, go do the right thing!

the fog, the park and other things

interpretive blog area

well, I thought the Santa Barbara City Council was going to discuss cop car cameras on Tuesday, but it was a short meeting and they didn't...however, the public comment meeting had Jim Worthen aka Mr. Wimpy addressing the council..the first thing he said to the mayor was "you know my bona fides" and proceeded to rant about Officer Kasi Beutel, giving us a list of all the bad things Peter Lance said she did...which is rather silly because no one I know believes anything Lance or his rummy friends say at this point! I think Mr. Wimpy has a bona fides for Peter Lance...

next Kate Smith spoke and veered into the far reaches of her delusions....poor gal..but when Mayor Schnieder cut her off after two minutes, Kate started screaming " I will not stand down" ..."I will not stand down"..they stared at each other for a few minutes..the mayor kept asking her to please leave the podium, and Kate finally did leave like a little church mouse...the public comment section of city council meetings should be required viewing for psych majors!

now, my other city council in Carpinteria wants to save some money...let's see if I can help

I would like to take a moment to thank the City of Carpinteria for giving us the most butt ugly park in the world...it's next to the State Park at the beach which is slowly being destroyed by the Parks Service.. I went down there yesterday to take a closer look...

the ugly park is called the Tomol Interpretive Play Area...whatever that means...it has a sick blue sidewalk..they cut down some eucs, they put in some fake lizards and a fake bald eagle that looks likea Republican but I'm not sure what it's supposed to signify....is it an Injun thing?? then where the fuck is the casino?? where are the fucking slot machines??

geez, I'm pissed off about this nonsense....and to make matters worse, they started to build a path to the other side of the park..a walking path that is so over-engineered I couldn't believe my eyes....this area is across from the Spot burger joint...

give me a good dirt path with dirt and weeds and flowers....

then I go over to the other side and see that they chopped down six trees at the entrance..on the little island....WHAT ARE THEY DOING???

well, the City of Carp wants citizen opinions about their budget deficit....I got an idea...how about telling the state to leave the park alone..and how about the City of Carp stop wasting money on stupid ideas like trying to turn everything into back to a native state....how much tax money has been pissed away on this folly??

this is a simple park in a great location..it's beautiful...if you want to paint some buildings, go ahead, but leave the trees and plants alone...and for God Sake..no more "interpretive" play areas!! let the kids run around and trample things otherwise they'll grow up to be pussies like their parents!!

flash dance

she's a maniac...maniac

hey flash mobs are the new thing and I think Wendy is attempting to create a flash mob against the City of SB and the police dept...

the latest mob appeared when Michele Bachman was in California....Michele scored some points with me when she went after Rick Perry, but then she started in with the wacky talk about children turning into mental retards if they get the HPV vaccination....well, that may explain what happened to Team Wendy!!

but the mob protested Bachman's take on gays...and her husband is supposed to be a counselor who uses the bible to turn gay people straight....now of course that's not what the bible is for any more than a history book is for teaching the world is flat....but the flash mob can be very effective if used wisely..

Wendy's flash mob is rather pathetic....and the latest mobster was a lame editorial by Terry Tyler, who would be slinking along the streets like a sewer rat if he wasn't given a guestatorial spot at the News-Press...Tyler writes what the News-Press wants him to write and now he's claiming that LAnce is a great writer and has nothing to do with the hearings being drawn out....and he seems to think that we are in the trial phase instead of the hearing to determine if a trial is needed....

and if Lance hadn't embarked upon a fishing expedition disguised as an investigative series in the News-Press, the trial would be over and Peter Lance would be getting counseled on the evils of alcohol abuse at Zona Seca, or "dry place" in Aztec...

a flash mob in front of the News-Press building.....hmmmmm

pinke on pinke

obviously 5 believers

all those women walking for AVON to fight breast cancer is always inspiring to see..every year they walk defiantly and joyously thru Capinteria and I go out and mingle....it's the power of positve vibes that can do wonders ..and maybe even snuff out cancer, which needs a good ass-kicking...

but what's not inspiring is all this time wasted to defend drunk drivers as another DUI lawyer enters the lounge.....William Makler

first let's clear something up..being drunk is being drunk..if you take a drug into your body that impairs your sober judgement, you're drunk..period..no matter what an enabler tells you

now on to the story that was in the News-Press...Peter Lance's personal reporter and spin doctor Scott Steepleton tells us that the DA has subpoenaed a guy named John Page, who Scott claims is not part of the Lance case...but Page is indeed is part of the Lance DUI case becasue he answered Lance's ads for people to testify against Officer Kasi..and Lance and Genis put him on the stand without a lawyer!! a major blunder that has now come back to haunt them..

Scott tries to say the subpoena is a "punishment" and harassment from the DA..but the NewsPress is jsut trying to hide the ineptitude of Lance and Genis and blame the prosecution...

Page was one of two boys (he's not a man yet as Scott tries to insist) who admitted to drunk driving on the witness stand..I repeat: he was called by Genis and Lance and appeared WITHOUT A LAWYER....the testimony sunk him and Lance's defense.... now Page has a lawyer and it's DUI lawyer William Mackler who stated in the N-P story, on the last page, that Page's testimony caused self-inflicted wounds...Page said he was drunk and blew a .15 which always makes me wonder how he had such a good memory regarding the Trombetta waiver when he got busted, but forgot a bunch of other details.....

this is exactly what Judge Hill warned against..and yet Lance and Genis allowed Page to testify....be careful kids, you are being used and thrown under the bus and now Mackler is blaming the DA instead of Lance and Genis!!
incredible....and unethical but what else is new with these slimeballs..talk about inept!!

from Our Lips are Sealed on this blog: so two college kids took the witness stand..without lawyer representation!!! Judge Hill advised them not to speak without a lawyer and warned about perjury, but they said they didn't want one..the first kid said he blew a .15 after having a few drinks when he was arrested...he said his dad called Lance to include the kid in the News-Press series..

the fact is the live testimony of the two boys without lawyers was a mistake and one kid, after saying he didn't have a lawyer, admitted that he thought Genis might be his lawyer!! the testimony blew up in the defense's face and was a total embarrassment and now the lawyers are trying to protect the boys from further testimony and subpoenas.... just like the News-Press protects the rich!

and Makler suggests that a subpoena from the DA is harassment while a subpoena from Lance's atty is an attempt to get the truth...

I swear to God, alcohol has fried the minds of Team Wendy and Team Lance!! they live in another world...

Tuesday is another hearing at 8:00 AM which is too early for me...so I'll get the news from the aggregators!

out of Africa...

I got a basketball jones..oww baby owweeeooo

ok, I hear that Sarah Palin likes black guys...we know her daughter Bristol had pre-marital sex and got pregnant to get back at her mom...this is unacceptable behavior...it's white trash...it's slutty...and we still don't know who Trigg's father is....

now, when I was traveling across country with the O'Jays in the late 70s , we had the merchandising and had three black guys and three whites guys on our crew....it was a very fun summer..a very fun tour and we worked our asses off most of the time having to be in a different city almost everyday

but we did get some down time..and I can tell you, the black dudes had no problem getting white chicks on that tour....

and they made fun of me saying they got more white ass than me...well, that was true but I advised the guys that their white girl was my trailer park trash...so I wasn't missing anything...of course we were joking around, but in the back of my mind was an uneasiness...these black dudes were tapping a source that I totally overlooked....white trash!!!

but, once we went into a Philly neighborhood to visit some relatives of Carl, one of the black dudes, and it was delightful...the girls were so cute and asked us for our autographs! there was one black girl..well...I coulda stayed in Philly because of her...she wore glasses and had a big beautiful smile and was funny...I'll call her Black Queen..

ok..now what do Tim Pawlenty and Sarah Palin have in common...they both spoke at the Young Miss America Foundation/Reagan Ranch Center in Santa Barbara..they are both quitters- Sarah quit the governorship and Tim quit the presidential race before you could bat an eyelash...

and this is the message the conservatives have for the YMAF?? when the going gets tough, quit....exit stage left...and have promiscuous sex???

all I know is black guys will always be a threat... there's alot of little white girls in the Young Miss America Foundation, no doubt many are wet behind the ears..and well, just plain wet...

so if your girlfriend or wife is acting funny, or walking funny..well you know what the reason is..if they can do it to Sarah Palin, they can do it to anybody....

the investigator

hey Lance...you forgot to investigate your handwriting expert, dumbass!

here's something I found interesting from the California Association of Criminologists...

it's about Peter Lance's "handwriting expert" James Blanco... it was a letter to the editor of the CAC magazine from Susan Morton, a member of the American Board of Forensic Examiners..and it makes me wonder why Blanco is still allowed in the court room...Judge Hill, are you aware of this? or are you just the dumbest judge in the history of judges?
is the prosecution, the DA or any cop aware of this? is Kasi Beutel aware of this?? it's more evidence against the slimy defense!!

James Blanco: A Cautionary Tale

An ethics case against James Blanco was resolved at the
business meeting of the American Academy of Forensic Sciences
on Feb. 18, 2009. The AAFS membership overwhelmingly
rejected his bid for reinstatement after his expulsion
by the Board of Directors in September 2008. Among his few
supporters, I noted some Criminalists and I understand there
was much discussion of the matter in their section business
meeting. I am writing this in hopes of clarifying the issues.

The AAFS Ethics committee, after extensive investigation
and testimony, found that Mr. Blanco had purposely used an
inapplicable technique on a particular type of problem in order
to mislead a legal proceeding to the benefit of his client.

I was not a party to the complaint or the proceeding so
I was not privy to any confidential information. I am familiar
with the type of problem, the technique he applied, and
with Mr. Blanco himself. I have known him for most of his
career, though we have never worked together. The content
of this article is based solely on that knowledge and a review
of the information posted on the AAFS Members’ page of the
website so that voting members could familiarize themselves
with the issues before considering Mr. Blanco’s appeal.

First let us consider the problem—a line intersection.
Mr. Blanco was asked by his client to determine which came
first, text in inkjet printing or a signature in ballpoint ink. His
client alleged that the inkjet text entry had been placed on the
document after he had signed it.

In November of 2005, James Blanco, a Forensic Document
Examiner in private practice with offices in Los Angeles and
San Francisco, issued a report on a line intersection matter.
His report indicated that he based his findings on IRLum and
visual examination of the back of the paper. He appended a
dramatic IRLum photograph which appeared to show a dark
line on top of a glowing line, knowing that his report would be
used immediately in a settlement hearing. Later in the course
of an ethics investigation, he claimed that he had actually based
his findings on other techniques, but had not had time to list
them in his report. He was unable to recall what they were, and
his meager bench notes did not refer to any other types of examinations.
There is a strong implication that Mr. Blanco based
findings he knew were about to be used in a legal proceeding
on one technique of marginal usefulness and another that had
50% chance of actually being misleading.

The next question is: Did James Blanco knowingly prepare
a misleading report to the benefit of his client?
In order to believe that Mr. Blanco made an innocent
mistake, one must accept the following propositions:
Mr. Blanco managed to remain ignorant of a well-established
and long-known principle of document examination
while working under the supervision of another FDE in an
Accredited laboratory. Mr. Blanco maintained that ignorance
while studying for the rigorous testing he underwent to obtain
ABFDE Certification and the continuing education necessary
to retain it. Mr. Blanco did not read the 16 articles he cited
in his defense against the ethics charges. None of them recommended
IRLum for line intersections problems and some
warned against doing so.

Mr. Blanco slept through, or immediately
forgot the content of, a workshop he paid hundreds of
dollars to attend. The ABFDE workshop on line intersection
problems was held Nov.8-10, 2005; the date of the report in
question was Nov. 11, 2005. Despite his firm belief in the validity
of IRLum for line intersection problems, Mr. Blanco felt
it necessary to defend himself by claiming to have actually
relied upon other techniques, the particulars of which he was
unable to recall or document.

The conclusion that Mr. Blanco knowingly issued a false
report is simply inescapable. He tried to use the excuse that it
was only a “preliminary” report, yet he knew full-well that it
was to be used in a court matter that very day. He appended
to that report a dramatic photograph that appeared to support
his client’s position, fully cognizant that that photograph
might well be misleading. What he did was tantamount to
Photoshopping in a smoking gun.

During his impassioned plea to the membership during
the AAFS business meeting, Mr. Blanco did say something of
note. He looked out into the audience and said, “If they can
do this to me, they can do it to you!” Well, yes, one would
certainly hope so.
Susan Morton, D-ABFDE (American Board of Forensic Document Examiners)

http://www.cacnews.org/news/3rdq09.pdf

red red wine

first I see a new girl on KEYT and she's pretty fine... but I can't pronounce her name..so I'll call her "Dark Angel"

next, I was watching a repeat of Peter Lance on Mr Wimpy's Channel 17 TV show and was amazed at what this motormouth says sometimes...
the show was taped during Fiesta as Mr. Wimpy was dressed like a matador or waiter at Ola Amigos..

but Lance said a few things that gave me paws..first, he finally admitted he blew a 0.09...he was DUI..he said that...he was chastising the audience for not believing in him and telling people who write comments on EDHAT that they should not call him a drunk ...he said a 0.09 BAC doesn't make him a drunk driver! those were his words so the prosecution should use Mr. Wimpy's show (Worthen One on One) as evidence...

next, Lance wants me to be concerned about some bad people who are covering up for officer Kasi Beutel ..there's city att..Steve Wiley; the DA.. Joyce Dudley..and Cam Sanchez, the rumored soon to be departed police chief...and there was one other cop that works with Kasi that Lance said "tortured" a 68 YO woman during a traffic stop...put her in handcuffs for 55 minutes... Corbett is his name I think...where is the police report and citizen complaint on that incident??

well, there is none and this is more nonsense from Mr. DUI, Peter Lance...

now the next phase of the story was on the News-Press front page about cameras in cop cars...Scott Steepleton says that Mayor Schneider wants to hold workshops for funding the cameras..and that will solve all the DUI misunderstandings...the thinking is cameras will record everything in a DUI stop, and can be used as evidence in court...

cameras in cop cars are a waste of money and time...the goal is to get drunks off the road, and a cop car camera doesn't accomplish that at all..so let's see...if Kasi had a camera in her cop car, all the people she arrested frr DUI, the students who swigged their parents' vodka from the bottle and then drove mommy's car and got busted..those kids would be seen, through the camera's eye, as innocent? the rest of them..all innocent because of a camera in the car??

and if Lance was filmed, would we see him talking back to the officers, being handcuffed and arrested for tipsy driving. or would the cameras show only a few aspects of the arrest...
to get the whole story, everyone needs to wear a little camera and have their actions downloaded to a database everyday...then we can see what our friends and neighbors are up to, all the time, every minute of the day....

if people want their DUI filmed, THEY SHOULD BEAR THE RESPONSIBILITY of filming it, not the taxpayers, or the sober folks among us...let the drunks film themselves!!

if you don't drink and drive, you won't worry about whether or not there's a camera in a cop car....only the drinkers have these concerns....

and the absurdity of on board cameras is illustrated by Darryl Genis's contradictory comments about cop killers: he states that people will be less inclined to harm cops if they know cameras were on board, then says that many cop killers have been brought to justice thanks to video cameras on board....so I guess that means people will try to harm cops whether a camera is on board or not!!

Mayor Schneider, don't be duped by the booze lobby and drunks at the News-Press..and you should be fighting for the rights of the cops who have to babysit these bottle jacks...

back to the future

keeping Santa Barbara Santa Barbara (TM)....the phrase coined by folks who don't want Santa Barbara to change...one site SantaBarbaraView uses it as their trademark!! I think it's profound!!

Keeping Carpinteria Carpinteria!! (TM)

Keep Montecito Montecito?? then bring back former Park Lane resident Burl Ives from the hereafter

dance or get off the stage (TM).....Lance's defense to the DA...translation: shit or get off the pot (TM)...cute

I've lost track of the Lance hearing due to all the time wasted by all the people involved..I'm also losing interest and will attend if something big happens...so far everyone is obsessed with a couple of overpaid palm readers..."handwriting experts" is what they call them in the masked world! God Almighty this hearing is a joke, but I was naive enough to think we had professionals working at it....boy was I wrong..shouldn't lawyers and judges have to retake the bar exam every five years to keep up with the times?

anyway, this keeping SB SB idea is starting to weigh on my mind...I think it's rather silly...Santa Barbara is what it is...if you really wanted to keep it the same, then you'd have the same place I grew up in...same people, same stores, same lies women told me in bars..and I told them....I'd still be hanging out at the Feed Store in cowboy boots and a leather jacket...I had chicks crawling on me like leeches..good leeches, but my gawd, I'm surprised I came home alive some nights..lotta hungry hearts in those days!!

but the point is you grow and evolve or you stagnate...so keeping Santa Barbara SB, while nostalgic, would have meant..would have meant..wait a minute....Santa Barbara in the 60's 70s 80s and 90s was an awesome place!!

it started to deteriorate when Wendy moved here and bought the News-Press...and the only way to keep Santa Barbara Santa Barbara, is to get rid of her!! shoo her away!!

so I suggest people pick their favorite decade and work to restore Santa Barbara to that time and place..with all the same people..that might be fun....they could throw a Back to the Future block party and I'll show up.....maybe as that guy from the 70s..in my cowboy boots, slinging a guitar...

singing "a little bitty tear let me down, spoiled my act as a clown, a little bitty tear let me down"

look to your soul...

for the answer...

well CNN and the Tea Party teamed up to present a debate among the Religious candidates last night and I was very impressed..it was good! Wolf Blitzer kept the questions coming rapid fire from audience members and encouraged a real debate among the Republican candidates...they went after each other for once instead of following the Newt Doctrine that conservatives shouldn't speak the truth or be critical of other conservatives...well, tonight the gloves came off, and we saw some real differences among the group...

now, I don't think the Tea Party is much more than a bunch of fat white bible thumpers who hate Mexicans, but there may be some evolution that can bring it legitimacy...as one teabagger asked: "what are you going to do about the illegals in the country?"....none of the candidates said, "round them up and deport them"....instead they offered some common sense solutions...

consider that the borders have been open since we asked Mexicans to come over and help during WW2...we asked them to come here and work...and businesses have been hiring them ever since..the agriculture, restaurant, shipping, hospitality businesses....and all those folks in Montecito with gardens..they all use illegal workers..you don't round them up and ship them out...if the Tea Party can't understand this, then they will always be just a bunch of fat, old white people waving their flags and bibles...

ok..so CNN teamed up with the teabaggers to... don't know why! but it was a good show...my girl Michele Bachman did good, especially when she went after the clueless Rick Perry who kept rolling his eyes in sexist mockery of Michele..how dare he!!

but Michele kept it up, calling out Perry's executive order to require the HPV vaccination be given to 12 year old girls: Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.), the mother of three daughters -- though she seemed to momentarily forget how many children she had -- went after Rick Perry during Monday night's GOP debate for his 2007 executive order mandating that young girls in Texas be vaccinated against HPV, the most common sexually transmitted disease and one that can lead to cervical cancer.
"To have innocent little 12-year-old girls be forced to have a government injection through an executive order is just flat out wrong. That should never be done. That's a violation of a liberty interest," she said.
She then argued that Perry had a conflict-of-interest because one of his top staffers was a lobbyist for Merck, the drug company that manufactured the vaccine.
"I just wanted to add that we cannot forget that in the midst of this executive order, there was a big drug company that made millions of dollars because of this mandate. We can't deny that," Bachmann said, referring to Merck.
"What I'm saying is that it's wrong for a drug company -- because the governor's former chief of staff was the chief lobbyist for this drug company. The drug company gave thousands of dollars in political donations to the governor, and this is just flat-out wrong. The question is, is it about life, or was it about millions of dollars and potentially billions for a drug company?"

Perry was stumbling and mumbling like a dumbass and almost reduced to tears after Michele scolded him for crony capitalism at the expense of little girls...

on this issue, Michele Bachman is right...Perry's paternalistic government mandate should take him right out of the presidential race..guys like him are the problem, not the solution!!
the problem is I can't figure Michele out..one minute she's loony tunes, next minute she's Mother Teresa, next minute she's a dream girl by the sea...

reds

freedom fries

Macy's has a lone red star...Carl's Jr has a lone star..Texas has a lone star..and commie China has a lone star..draw your own conclusions but beware of subliminal messages from these dudes...I think we know what's really going on....

Andy "Putz" Puzder is the CEO of CKE Industries and keeps threatening to move his offices to Texas so he can be closer to his boyfriend Governor Rick Perry, whose budget cuts made firefighters buy their own gear, some of it defective...putting lives at risk....ahh, the conservative way..

Andy makes 10 million dollars a year and lives in Montecito and I thought it was touching that the News-Press had a lil story about him on 9/11..Andy and Nipper are pals and Andy gives us insight into the terrorists, the fact that he doesn't have to endure airport screening because he uses the corporate jet, and he even nixed the salad bar at Carl's Jr after 9/11 when he feared someone might sprinkle antrax on the tomatoes...he was just looking out for the employees and customers.....the little people...what a guy!!

Andy is always complaining about California's business climate..he wants to build more restaurants faster..but I don't want to see a Carl's Jr everywhere..I don't wanna see a Burger King or a Jack in the Box everywhere but they make better burgers and do better business...Carl's used to be good but the Putz ran it into the ground after founder Carl Karcher died....

and customers have had enough....
http://fastfood.ocregister.com/2009/04/10/carls-jr-ceo-responds-to-reader-brand-bashing/18249/

Puzder is simply a bad businessman...I've pointed it out before...he has a history of complaints whenever someone out-competes him which is nearly every burger joint in California...Carl's has suffered from bad manangement, bad food and stupid commercials..Puzder is clueless... all he needs to do is make good food at a good price and cut out the bullshit....I 'll be the first to help clean out your office in Carpinteria and get you to Texas as soon as possible...

now, speaking of Texas..I was wondering if ENRON was back in business..there was a huge power outage in Arizona and California recently...just like to rolling outages that ENRON created years back to juice the prices up...that little stunt got Gray Davis kicked out of office to be replaced by Arnold for two terms! what a black mark on California....

there is absolutely no reason that Texas and California should be enemies....the regs may be more stringent here, but if they are reasonable, I got no problem with it...you can't pollute the environment in the name of capitalism...you can try, but it will get you in the end... and the buck stops with the CEO...considering the trouble CKE restaurants are having, maybe Puz should be FIRED....

and given a 50 million dollar severance package for a job poorly done!

Rolling Thunder

hey.... I almost miss the Harley shop!!

too bad they mixed religion and politics as a business model..which failed

but that thunderous roar sparked a memory when these guys rolled down 101 through Carpinteria on Saturday....loud and proud...

now I want all of you to rise and recite with me the Pledge of Allegiance today...I don't want any excuses, snickers, or complaints.....just rise and say it..out loud... and see how you feel afterwards...then we can discuss the origins and intent....

I pledge Allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all.

was that so hard??

when you recite the pledge, you are going back in time...it's like a time machine showing you things that you may have forgotten....

The original Pledge of Allegiance was written by Francis Bellamy. It was first given wide publicity through the official program of the National Public Schools Celebration of Columbus Day, which was printed in The Youth's Companion of September 8, 1892, and at the same time sent out in leaflet form to schools throughout the country. School children first recited the Pledge of Allegiance this way:
“I pledge allegiance to my Flag and to the Republic for which it stands one Nation indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all.”

“The flag of the United States” replaced the words “my Flag” in 1923 because some foreign-born people might have in mind the flag of the country of their birth instead of the United States flag. A year later, “of America” was added after “United States.”

Originally, the pledge was said with the right hand in the so-called “Bellamy Salute,” with the right hand resting first outward from the chest, then the arm extending out from the body. Once Hitler came to power in Europe, some Americans were concerned that this position of the arm and hand resembled the Nazi or Fascist salute....

In 1942 Congress also established the current practice of rendering the pledge with the right hand over the heart.
The Flag Code specifies that any future changes to the pledge would have to be with the consent of the President...

liberty and justice for all....maybe they had that ideal back in 1892 and now it's our responsibility to make sure liberty and justice for all is not just a slogan.. ...and whoever stands in the way of liberty and justice for all will meet a terrible swift sword....

God.. I love this country!!!

the big hurt

ok we got 9/11 coming... and all the issues that day brings.....

the terrorists...crazed cowardly religious fanatics who want to hurt America

the firefighters and cops...after the jets hit the towers, went into burning buildings to rescue people..risking their lives

the News-Press...denigrating public employees like firefighters for having a career benefit package and belonging to a union..the News-PRess is actively working to destroy American worker rights....

we got America Christian religious fanatics supporting policies that kill and hurt poor people overseas....encouraging crazed Islamic religious fanatics to kill us for revenge

we got the Bush Administration.....

we got the Obama Administration killing Bin Laden dead.. and crazed rightwing religious fanatics in America don't acknowledge a black president had anything to do with it...

we got the DOJ raiding American companies

we got the free market been brought to its knees by reckless greedy American corporations and their puppets.... a free market without responsible investing is just a giant gambling casino...this hurts America...Bin Laden is winning from the grave....

we got the Tea Party whose Grand Master must be Bin Laden because all the teabaggers do is try to hurt America..they want to secede, they want to destroy the government, they want to hole up in the Arizona desert and wait for the end of the world...with their bibles and their guns....

Houston, we've got a problem

William and Mary

won't do..and I'm never goin' back to my old school....

so Lanny Ebenstein fancies himself an educator....yeah, he's an educator like I'm Shakespeare..

but I did spend a little time in school...one particular school was Laguna Blanca in Hope Ranch...above Lake Placid.... I spent two years there and then got kicked out...now, on the whole it was a good school with lovely people...but it did have some issues..as a matter of fact, back then, we all had some issues...serious issues

I remember I had a good political science teacher..and a good English teacher....and we had a great physical education program even though some of the students got busted for inhaling marijuana....

we were on the track team and ran all over Hope Ranch..one day we kept running all the way to that awesome private beach down that little tree shaded lane...it was a beautiful place and we hung out on the sand watching the girls all day..the Laguna brass was not amused and so the next time we ran, our geometry teacher shadowed us on his little Honda 90 trail bike! it was funny..

and then there was that Nevill Cramer dude who wrote book called "Montecito Boy"... hmmmm.. he was a short old English Dapper Dan type guy with zero personality and a mustache...one day at school he told me to shave my mustache off...it was just peach fuzz above my lip but apparently it bothered him or maybe turned him on too much...there was something unnerving about an old man obsessed with my boyish good looks...

and later Nevill sent me home because my hair was a half inch over my collar..and this was in the Beatles era! big fucking deal Nevie...he'd flit around the grounds in a tweed coat trying to look important.... you know Nevill, I never could figure out what you did at Laguna!??

people who try to thwart or block my progress as a student should not be in education..public or private..therefore, I learned early that my education was my responsibility....and folks like Neville have been in my crosshairs ever since..and I heard that Nevie had a tough time of it, a fellow faculty member ran off with his wife or some wife swapping was going on.. blah blah blah....

mom and dad, were you aware of this??????? and you wanna hear my sob story?? it'll rip your hearts out, I tell ya..maybe I'll share it later

blonde on blonde

and then there was the twin religious sisters..two smart pretty blonde girls who loved Jesus more than boys..they were daughters of a Montecito reverend...

when we grew up, I saw one, my favorite one, the one who reminded me of Bridget Fonda glistening in the sun, in the Olive Mill Bistro bar one night.. I was surprised given her religiosity.. I was at the bar listening to Jock McKaba do "Black Magic Woman", and nursing a Heiniken when she came in....of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into this one....

she saw me and her eyes got big....and I tried to put the moves on her, but she bolted! ran right out of the Bistro..I swear to God!! damn...can you imagine what would have happened, what could have happened had she stayed..I'd be pastor of her church right now....pastor of her heart..I coulda met Jerry Seinfeld!!!!

you see, their brother married Julia Louis Dreyfuss~ Elaine from Seinfeld...now for some reason Elaine thinks she's a water pollution control expert and hangs out with Hillary Hauser from Heal the Ocean... lesbos? perhaps..not that there's anything wrong with that!

also we had a great rumored -to-be-gay Latin teacher who worked really hard to make me smarter...the kids made fun of him but I liked him...unfortunately, he killed himself ..God knows why...it was sad....

we'll always have Paris
and how about the French dept at Laguna....it consisted of an old guy called the Colonel, who was an ok teacher but smoked like he had a death wish....

and a lady I'll call Mrs. P who sucked as a French teacher...she could have sucked my dick in the girls bathroom and I still wouldn't want her as my teacher...I learned absolutely nothing about French kissing or France from her...she showed little cartoons on a slide projector and told us to explain them in French...WTF?? I sat in class in back and just made faces at her....witch

the best French teacher I ever had was Santa Barbara Jr. High..Mr. P-Achhh....fantastic and is the reason I love zee French today....thanks for being such a great teacher...

but those were some fun times...here's looking at you, kid