I sing the body electric

input output... electricity

what the teabaggers don't realize is that their brains are full of electric impulses.. when the impulses get short-circuited, the brain gets paranoid..catatonic..like a teabagger's!!

so I get a note from SCE that "smart meters" are coming my way... and I 've heard all the stuff mainly from teabaggers that if these meters are installed , I'll get a real bad case of cancer or my brain will fry or if Dick Cheney's in town, his pacemaker will explode...or worse, Obama will spy on me!!

well, I used to work in a huge power-type plant with 480 volts around me all the time.....my brain was electrically stimulated all the time and that's why I'm so smart!

I was working when ENRON made us turn our giant breakers off and on for weeks while they made money on a manufactured energy crisis in the 90s..
now if Ken Lay or Jeffrey Skilling were behind the Smart Meters, I'd be concerned, but Lay is dead and Skilling is as good as dead...

and part of my job was to make the rounds at midnight and read the analog electric meters for a daily tally of use..if you make a mistake reading the meters, it can throw things off by a huge amount.. I've been around compensators, conductors, semi-conductors, conduits, transformers, transducers and transvaginal co-workers...oh, I do tend to glow at night sometimes but only when I'm with a radiant being......

so the electrical companies want to switch to digital meters and the teabaggers want me to buy into a conspiracy theory that SCE is trying to kill me or rob me....well, SCE has been providing me reliable service for decades so I don't think they're out to get me...

naturally I have no problem with smart meters...any risk is minimal and you can monitor your own use and adjust it to lower your electic bill..that might come in handy if you're in the habit of turning all the lights on all the time and wasting resources without a thought..

so my main problem is with the dumbass teabaggers...geez, do they really want to return to the 8-track tape days?? alot of these folks carry around with them a level of paranoia that would make even Freud suspicious..

the sky is crying...

can't ya see the tears roll down my nose....ACHOOOO!!!

well, in 2040, the County of Santa Barbara may go broke paying a bunch of ex-workers their pensions..this will result in no services to the people..so it's every man for himself, every woman for herself...crime will increase, more teachers will have sex with their students, more students will be indoctrinated againt Jesus and will fall into Marxism..and worst of all, we won't have a jail big enough to house the undesirables.....in other words, the sky is falling

ok that's the theme of the latest News-Press editorials by Lanny Ebenstein and Terry Tyler..these guys are trying sooo hard to get rid of unions and collective bargaining they will try anything to demonize government workers..the latest attempt the boys are using is a report by a nonprofit called Stanford Institute for Economic Policy Research (SIEPR)...

SIEPR is a corporate think tank and has been criticized as such: In yet another confirmation of the questionable methods and conclusions in a new so-called study on public pensions by Stanford students, State Treasurer Bill Lockyer has resigned from a pension advisory panel of the Stanford Institute for Economic Policy Research (SIEPR). The panel supposedly was to help provide facts and information for the report.

“When it comes to public pensions, maybe SIEPR should stand for “Stanford Institute to Eviscerate People’s Retirement,” said Lockyer Press Secretary Joe DeAnda. DeAnda said Lockyer agreed to join the advisory panel because he believed SIEPR was interested in producing more thoughtful, evidence-based reports. “Unfortunately, that turned out not to be the case. While (study author Joe) Nation may have listened selectively to certain advisers, Lockyer certainly wasn’t one of them, and his concerns about methodology and other issues were ignored. SIEPR clearly has a public pension agenda, and it doesn’t include legitimate research.”

Bill Lockyer is not an enemy of public pension reform. He is, and always has been, a critic of shoddy work, of agenda-driven, pseudo research masquerading as evidence. That’s what SIEPR’s report is, plain and simple. Lockyer makes no apologies for telling that truth.

http://www.stanforddaily.com/2012/01/24/1055205/

ok, so does the SIEPR have an agenda..of course it does....like the Koch Bros agenda, like the Ohio and Wisconsin governor agendas...pick the pockets of public workers..plain and simple
these retirement funds have billions of dollars that are invested for the members...when the investment vehicles are being manipulated by unscrupulous people, then we have the Enron fiaso, AIG, the banks and insurance companies trying to RIP YOU OFF..that's where the reform needs to start and it already has....

any way you slice it, this is just a bunch of conseravtive nonprofits giving money to each other to try smear public workers who choose to work for a living instead of beg for money from the likes of Wendy McCuckoo...these public worker funds have been targeted by conservatives for decades! one of the nonprofit sponsors is The Koret Foundation ... worth something like $400 million. It is a rabid advocate for Israel and is extremely conservative...

now, Lanny is the "president" of the nonprofit California Center for Public Policy...a shady conservative cover for public pension robbing....and is anti-worker with members like Brookes Firestone and Joe Armendariz who no doubt like Firestone Ale!!

and where do these guys get their funding?? from sugar mommies and sugar daddies, not from work....and Lanny lost some houses to foreclosure in Eueka, so who would trust him to lecture about financial issues?? the News-Press would, Rupert Murdoch would, but I wouldn't because and I don't trust any of them for a minute!

savin' all my love for you...

save a eucalyptus and save a butterfly....

Sunday I went to church..not the steeple kind of church, the real church....outdoors..and February is one damn fine month to be outdoors...first of all, the birds are singing...then I figured where shall I go...let's check out the Summerland Preserve area...

so I go and it's beautiful and I start taking pictures of plants and birds and rocks and things when this guy with two big dogs comes walking by..a black dog and a white dog..he says good morning I say good morning...he asks what I'm taking pictures of and I say all these beautiful non-native plants that we might miss if they keep poisoning them..he says he agrees and loves the non-natives..then I say hi to his dogs who were big friendly terrier types..the guys says they are non-native..and we laughed..it's nice to know there's people out there who care about the whole of nature....which includes all plants and animals...

ok so that's good.. I got the dogs on my side now..so I go down to Loon Point and check out the area... took a walk by the train tracks..god this place is stunning.....a time warp of old California..I see some butterflies flitting all over the place so I go down to just behind Loon Point parking lot..hundreds of Monarchs flying around in and out of the eucalyptus trees....these are big healthy eucs but I am concerned about all the new plantings of skinny little pines and other native trees..I presume the county of SB is doing this and they've chopped a few eucs..still plenty for me and the butterflies though...

then I see more orange insects flying around the Loon Point lot..wow, this place is an important stop for Monarchs..it's enchanting...this whole area....not quite as full as the Coronado Preserve in Goleta, but there are impressive numbers here...and the beach at Loon Point is cool altho it has a reputation or history for being a nude beach or a gay beach, it's not true...it's just a nice place to hang out and maybe some conservatives saw some naked hippies there in the 70s and freaked out...I mean at one time or another, people have had sex at every beach in Santa Barbara...I had sex one night with a chick in a sleeping bag during the grunnion run at Leadbetter, so I know what I'm talking about..and the reason it only happened once is because of the sand in her panties...hurt so good! and BTW, she instigated it, not me!! I was perfectly happy just to watch the grunion in the moonlight..

ok...now how to get people to stop messing with the eucs....the diseased ones I got no problem with removing..but chopping them down becasue they are "non-native"...no..that won't stand..not at all..so I hereby nominate and designate the Loon Point eucalyptus grove/stand area as a butterfly preserve... I'll call it the Loon Point Butterfly Preserve....it has a nice ring to it!

and why do the butterflies prefer eucalyptus trees..there's many theories and I don't presume to know what's going thru the mind of a Monarch butterfly, but I think it's the eucalyptus oil in the leaves..it gets them high, man

so you wanna be a rock 'n' roll star

in a week or two, if you make the charts, the girls will tear you apart...

if you happened to be a rock star in your twenties and now you're in your 60s, well, it just doesn't quite work..some guys are getting facelifts and dying their hair which makes them look like guys in their 60s who dye their hair and get facelifts..they're not fooling anyone...Kenny Rogers had a lift and destroyed a great face and career....now I'm not picking on guys named Kenny, but it appears that Kenny Loggins has followed in my footsteps and started a blog..
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kenny-loggins/kenny-loggins-on-reinvention_b_1296180.html?ref=yahoo&ir=Yahoo

well, it's not exactly SBNPB.com, but Kenny Loggins wants you to know what it's like to be an old rocker...who's trying to recapture the old fire......old times, good times....

the problem here is all your fans Kenny have grown up and are older too! so we just don't have the desire to hear you anymore especially when you partner with the likes of the News-Press to raise money for poor illegal aliens via the Unity Telethon!

you see, a Martin D-28 from 1965 is worth a lot of money.....but what's a rocker from 1965 worth....a stint at the Chumash Casino??

now some rockers age gracefully like the Stones..Mick and the boys are just too cool to be irrelevant...I mean, I go back and marvel at their music...it was fantastic!! and Mick's not really trying to impress anyone any more..he doesn't need to...some bands like the Byrds are timeless because the music was brilliant....

so I think some rockers either should die young or should always have another discipline to fall back on...to ground them so they are not chasing their youth in their 60s...maybe learn microbiology..or chemistry or acting to help take you mind off yourself and focus on other parts of the universe... I think Grace Slick took up gardening....good for her!!!
it's a big world out there...so go take a giant step outside your mind

please come to Boston...

there's some stars that fell from the sky....

By BEN SMITHWICK, NEWS-PRESS STAFF WRITER ...February 25, 2012 12:07 AM

There has been no president more dangerous than Barack Obama when it comes to foreign policy, Rep Michele Backman said Friday at the Reagan Ranch Center!!

WTF? Michele at the Reagan ranch Center?! downtown?? Michele?? why wasn't I notified Wendy??

well I did have a dream last night I that I drove all the way to Boston and the streets were brick and the stores were full and..god it was so vivid..so maybe just maybe while Michele was flying to Santa Barbara form Michigan and I was driving to Boston in my dream, we could have met in some trans kinda way...

but anyway I would have loved to see her because I know she's as dirty as a transvaginal hooker on Haley St and damn I'm just in the mood for her...she's pretty and psycho which I find irresistible!

well it looks like Ben was burning the midnite oil to get the story in about Michele who spoke to the the conservatives about our bogeyman president Obama...but no president more dangerous than Obama???

wait, what about boozer Bush, the guy who let 9/11 happen, bailed out the banks and who invaded Iraq and who in a drunken stupor gave himself a black-eye and blamed it on a pretzel.....we're still cleaning up all those messes.

well Michele, I'm glad you dropped out of the race and I know you and Sarah have had sex together..I just know it because Sarah was freaking out about hating being governor and divorcing Todd...and you were there for her...two foxy brunettes...preaching traditional conservative values while practicing the opposite....hmmmm

the kids are alright...

child: a person between birth and puberty

it's bad enough we got scout masters molesting Boy Scouts..or Catholic priests molesting children..or Wendy McCaw having child porn on her company computer..why isn't she in jail for that one?? oh that's right, she blamed someone else..

now we got religious fanatics going after the Girl Scouts! according to these groups, the Girl Scouts are engaged in subversive activities from encouraging homosexuality to supporting Planned Parenthood and abortions...apparently the dues the girls pay go directly to PP!
then we got Virginia..where the good old boys wanted a transvaginal inspection before abortion is considered...geez, that's a real gov't takeover of healthcare...luckily, the idea of forced ultrasounds was ridiculed to the point the bill was dropped by the Virginia conservatives..

RICHMOND, Va. — Once the word "transvaginal" became a big joke on "Saturday Night Live" and "The Daily Show With Jon Stewart," it wasn't long before Virginia's conservative Republicans realized they had overreached on abortion.

Gov. Bob McDonnell and GOP state lawmakers Wednesday abandoned a bill requiring women to undergo an intrusive type of sonogram before an abortion — an abrupt reversal that demonstrated the power of political satire and illustrated again how combustible the issue of women's reproductive health has become over the past few weeks.

http://www.statesman.com/news/nation/ridicule-helped-doom-va-ultrasound-bill-2195555.html

I'm telling ya, these religious wackos need to be aborted...all this stems from the Jerry Falewell followers..Falwell, the fat southern baptist who was obsessed with gays and cartoon characters..it's crazy!! he's long dead but his brainwashed clan organized and formed the Tea Party...you know, God Guns and booze..Rick Santorum spouting nonsense about the devil...and on and on

speaking of booze, our illustrious sinner and councilman Joe (I'm doing a great job) Armendariz is taking his show to the high schools reports the Daily Sound...it seems the lawyers and prosecuters have come up with a way to educate young people by sentencing Joe in front of them..like a little field trip..well that's creative but doesn't take the place of drug education in schools...educate the kids about alcohol and reduce the demand..but that wouldn't go over well with the booze lobby, I'm sure..

it must be tough to be a kid nowadays with so many stupid adults "guiding" them....but somehow, I know they will overcome

valley of the dolls

why am I lost as a lamb??

oh I was lost yesterday, don't yu worry...I saw a bunch of people with Xs on their foreheads ..I think the Manson family was in town..no it was ASH Wednesday..now me being a Catholic I always thought it was ASS Wednesday....unfortunately the only chance I had for ass yesterday was an eighty year old woman at the Italian deli...

well it may be true that I give some people headaches but it's also true that some people give me headaches, too....so in order to prevent that from occuring, it has been my practice to take an Excedrin in the morning each day for the last 20 years or so..just one pill washed down with coffee...I guess that makes me an addict too...I'm a drug addict..there I admit it..but I prefer to call it preventive maintenance...

ok so for the past two weeks I've been running low on Excedrin and haven't been able to buy any because the drug store shelves are empty of Excedrin bottles..no explanation, just empty shelves..then finally I see a note that Excedrin has been recalled due to mechanical problems..it seems that packaging problems at a drug manufacturing plant may have resulted in powerful prescription painkillers ending up in packages of Excedrin ...

then I thought of Whitney Houston...what if she just took an Excedrin for a headache, next thing you know she's dead becasue she mistakenly was fed a powerful pain killer...a drug (as morphine or codeine) containing or derived from opium and tending to induce sleep and alleviate pain; she could have fallen asleep in the bathtube..I'm serious!!

anyway, I switched to Rite Aid aspirin to deal with my pain....now if you people would stop annoying me so much, I wouldn't need all these pills...

sweet home, Alabama

where the skies are so blue...

well you might remember the Peter Lance hearings last year at the Santa Barbara court house...it was like I was in a Hollywood movie....like I was an extra or something...there were all sorts of characters moving in and out of the movie..some died off and some came back...

the blogs and online media had lots of coverage and the News-Press had their agenda as did Noozhawk..but the Independent has some good stories and intesresting comments from the anti-cop crowd....

so Peter is on his last gasp to keep his license due to his DUI arrest..the case will be settled in the DMV...so I'm reading arrest reports and I come across a name that sounded familiar- Hogan Ganschow-altho it is spelled Ganchow in the report... Hogan I think is or was a deputy public defender who was very interested in trying to help Peter Lance...Lance used Hogan's comments in his News-Press stories.. and Ganschow is pals with Josh Lynn who lost out to Joyce Dudley in the most recent DA race..I think there's a little story here... lots of petty stuff between Joyce and Josh....

PETER LANCE, SPECIAL TO THE NEWS-PRESS

from the News-Press/ Lance series/ July 25, 2011 1:18 PM

PUBLIC DEFENDER'S OFFICE LAUNCHES A FORGERY PROBE

Hogan Ganschow is a deputy public defender who spent almost a year in the arraignment part of Santa Barbara County Superior Court. After the initial News-Press series ran, he sent the following note to his superiors:

"In light of the recent articles by Peter Lance, I have had the chance to reflect on my 10 months spent doing arraignments in Santa Barbara, from January 2010 to November 2010. As you are surely aware, one of Mr. Lance's chief allegations is that Officer Kasi Beutel intentionally neglected to inform him of his right to a re-testable blood sample. In order to cover up her failure to properly advise him of his Trombetta rights, it is also Mr. Lance's allegation that Kasi Beutel either forged or had someone forge his signature on his Trombetta waiver. He has also indicated that other arrestees are making similar allegations of Trombetta failures and possible forgeries during Kasi Beutel arrests.

"While I was working in Department 8, I handled the majority of DUI cases and made notes on the salmon-colored interview sheets.

"Soon into my assignment, I began to notice that Kasi Beutel was showing up far more often than the average law enforcement officer. As such, I made it my practice to make a note on the salmon sheet every time I saw she was present for a DUI arrest. I probably noted a couple (maybe a few) dozen incidents during my ten months.

"Additionally, when a blood sample was absent, I made it my practice to always ask clients if they had been offered a re-testable blood sample. If the clients claimed that they had not been advised (and the police report said otherwise), I also made it my practice to make a note on the salmon sheet reflecting the discrepancy, regardless of whether it was a Beutel case.

"I understand that most, if not all, of these files are now in storage. I believe it may be in our clients' interests to look at these files in order to see if there are any consistencies between Peter Lance's stories and those of our clients. Further, I would personally be willing to undertake the project of digging up all my DUI arraignments from 2010. If you agree that this is a worthy project, please advise."

On July 18, Mr. Ganschow confirmed that such an investigation had been authorized by his superiors in the Public Defender's Office.

"We don't know where this will go," says Darryl Genis. "But it's highly significant that independent of Peter Lance's forgery findings, a respected Santa Barbara defense attorney also believes that there could be a pattern."

oh...and I see that a Hogan Ganchow was just busted for being under the influence of alcohol/drugs!! the spelling was wrong on the arrest report but I figured it's the same guy....
Hogan Ganchow
Reported: 02/19/2012 by Crime Reporter: 7235
Crime Report #: 6817951
Source: Santa Barbara PD
M PC647(F) Under the Influence of Drugs/Alcohol

now this doesn't say it was a DUI and I'm not judging guilt or innocence, just that he was arrested... I think that's a story, a public defender getting busted for being under the influence, don't you News-Press??

but it's a safe bet to say most of Lance's supporters have drug or alcohol issues!!

it looks like Hogan and his dad Michael Ganschow belong to the Porsche Club of America and are both lawyers....and both talk real funny "all y'all and like that" like theys from Alabama!

Micheal Ganschow made numerous comments on the Peter Lance case at the Independent site..he was one of Lance's biggest cheerleaders and was always going off on the cops and prosecuters with long rambling exposes on how crooked the DA Dudley was and how all the cops were framing people..hmmmm..

it was clear that many of the people against the DUI cops are probably fond of driving while intoxicated..or just druggies themselves...
for them, it's probably a way of life so naturally when a cop arrests them, they get upset and try to blame the system!

http://www.independent.com/news/2011/jul/07/dui-case-swerves-map/#commenttoggle

did they think the cops would stop pulling over people for DUI just because the Lance case was dismissed?? how stupid is that?

and I'll be watching this one...the hearing whenever it comes up..maybe Hogan will get his daddy to represent him...or maybe he'll get Darryl Genis!! or maybe he'll run to the News-Press and do a story..the possibilities are endless!!

ring my bell..

dust my broom and clean my clock...

ok so I'm sitting at home minding my own business when someone puts a little piece of paper on my doorstep..it's an ad for their cleaning service "Cleaning Therapy"...one of the listed benefits of using them to clean my condo is they speak English...that is a buzz kill right there...the last thing I want is an English speaking woman in my condo cleaning it..the problem is she won't clean anything, she'll just talk and complain..and probably steal something..
now, a Spanish or French speaking woman is another story...hardworking ladies come in and do the job...and then the fantasy of a sexual encounter gallups thru my head like a Polo pony...geez, can you imagine a hot Spanish babe who can't speak English, dropping her Windex and dropping her panties and screaming at me in words I can't understand..in a little maid's uniform...hey isn't that what happend to Arnold???

well who can blame him....there's nothing sexier than a woman who can ring my bell AND dust my broom AND clean my clock...

press my shirts

anyway, I got my shirts last week from Schnee's in Montana..nice shirts for a rugged fellow like myself...but the thing is the online order isn't the same as the invoice they sent me...the online price was less because the shirts were on sale and for some reason it indicated I got two for the regular price of one...I thought that's nice a two-for-one sale, but it wasn't.. I called Schnee's and a guy named Bart (!) answered and said he doesn't know what happened but he will charge me for two shirts...no apology no nothing, just, he'll charge me for two shirts, so I said ok and hung up on him... but why should I pay for their online error...they should eat it give me that second shirt for $0.00 like it says on the invoice...
Grand Totals:
SCHNEE'S Gallatin Flannel Shirt
Charcoal Plaid
X-Large $89.00
SCHNEE'S Gallatin Flannel Shirt
Khaki Black Plaid
X-Large $0.00
Subtotal: $89.00
Shipping Rate: $9.50
Total: $98.50
Please note: Orders placed on Friday after 8:00am Mountain Time will ship the following Monday.
Looking for the perfect gift? The Schnee's Gift Card makes gift-giving easy!

if small businesses want a break, then they gotta own up to their mistakes and stop trying to screw the customer...needless to say, I won't do any more business with Schnee's in Montana because they are a bunch booze swilling hillbillies!

Born in the USA!

from sea to shining sea

I was riding around Carp Sunday, enjoying myself, when I see this sign in a flower grower's lot in the foothills..it was signed by the Van Wingerdens...what does it mean I wonder...to put a big preachy sign on your property telling us what they think it means to be an American..are they being investigated by the feds? I don't know but they have a big flower growing operation and I support the growers, but the Van Wingerdens are teabaggers, it seems...and now they are on my radar...

I know that June Van Wingerden has been on the Carp Water District Board incurring huge water debts while Carpinterians pay very high water rates....something the new board is grappling with.... she's been seen at luncheons with Joe Armendariz and Andrew Breitbart..

and the Van Wingerdans immigrated here in 1967...you know what that means: they are non-native!!!..and June wears a little Dutch boy haircut so why should I care what she thinks about what it means to be an American..I know what it means to be an American, I was born here.. I was born in the USA

it means: freedom comes with responsibility..you can't just do whatever you want...we have individual freedoms so long as they don't infringe on another's rights

when we bomb countries for no reason, and kill their children, we should expect them to defend themselves and that means American casualties...that's why we need to elect leaders who understand this

this is a government of by and for the people..it's not a government designed only for the wealthy

I believe in working for a living..and planning for the day when I don't want to work..that means being fiscally responsible, taking risks, expecting the money markets to be managed honestly, and the right to bargain collectively with an employer..private or public...

I believe when someone tries to steal from me, the Constitition provides a remedy..the right to bear arms... BAMMM!!! so all you yahoos trying to infringe on a worker's right to public service and fair compensation....remember that little word: BAMMM!! I'll blow your motherfucking hearts out.....

we have freedom of religion..if you don't like the fact that I'm not a Christian, I don't really give a shit...and just try to force your religious views on me and you will meet your motherfucking maker.....

I have no problem with taxes as long as they are administered fairly...

and we have my most cherished right..freedom of speech..the right to speak your mind.....censorship is the providence of the ignorant, so when someone tells you you can't read something or tries to ban a book by Mark Twain, tell them to FUCK OFF!! this is AMERICA!!!

I've been around the world and love other places..France, Italy...but I love America the best...it's true some Americans are idiots but finding them and exposing them is fun!!!

well that's my short list....Happy Presidents' Day!

papa's got a brand new bag

peaceful waters....

ok so I'm watching Whitney Houston's funeral services and the gospel choir was singing songs of praise and joy...now that can't be faked...if you're gonna preach to me, then I prefer you sing like the choir..don't ring my doorbell dressed in black suit and pretend you're some spiritual being...the service was spiritual and not religious...I'm so glad Whitney is being honored and remembered for the singer and the woman she was....and even Kevin Costner paid his respects and said some nice things about her....but the highlight of the service was Whitney's friend, stunning Alicia Keyes..she played piano and fidgeted with her awesome low cut blouse and cried...

and I heard there were two conservative radio guys who called Whitney some bad names..I'll deal with those two knuckleheads at another time...thank you for the music, Whitney!!

now, speaking of knuckleheads, I heard that Mike Stoker was having a little wine and cheese party at the tiny Garden Market on Santa Claus Lane...it is being sponsored by the Carpinteria Valley Republican Club which I've never heard of before....Stoker is running for an assembly seat..I thought it might be fun to drop by and see if I can spot the Three Stooges, Mike, Lanny and Joe together in one place in my fave place Santa Claus Lane....wine and cheese parties..geez, wine at three o'clock in the afternoon??

ok so I go over there and wait in front of the Garden Market and BBQ place....milling about are some people but no sign of Lanny or Joe or Mike....it's five minutes to three and I'm getting ready to leave when Mike drives up in a little black FOREIGN SUV! that's just not patriotic...

so Mike comes moseying down the sidewalk area and I take a picture and ask him what he thinks of Lanny's pot house issues up north..Lanny was sued by 17 neighbors for operating a nuisance pot house in Eureka and settled the day before the trial...

Mike smiles and giggles a little, then grimaces and shakes his head back and forth, seemingly struggling to say something, but says nothing..so I offer: you don't like it? he giggles..

then he says he doesn't think it's appropriate for Lanny to have a pothouse in Eureka... then he mentions Das William's stance on medical marijuana..he always mentions Das for some reason! Das is Mike's daddy!!

then I ask Mike if he's on the board of the new non-profit California Center for Public Policy, but Mike giggles and tells me to relax and enjoy my weekend...then I say I'm having a great weekend, that's why I'm here on Santa Claus Lane asking him questions..so I ask Mike again if he's on the board and he says he doesn't know, so I show him the board roster with his name on it and he says he offered general counsel to Lanny but doesn't know if he's on the board...then he says "maybe" he is and giggles..ok...well, but I don't blame him for being embarrassed to admit he's on the same non-profit as Lanny and Joe.... and Tom Watson and Brooks Firestone..and Frank Hotchkiss...

then Mike giggles again (what's he high on, giggle juice?) and says I really need to learn to relax and then starts dancing around like James Brown! I tried to axe him about Joe's DUI issues, but Mike just started singing..."jump back Jack, see ya later alligator"....

right back at ya, slick

cat scratch fever...

this one's for my pal, Spooky!


ok so the notion that killing thousands of animals and removing acres of plants will save other plants and animals is an insane notion..but that's how the Parks Service and Nature Conservancy are operating and have opearted since they confiscated the Channel Islands from a private owner...that owner was the huge family that included SYVJ owner Nancy Crawford Hall..she bent over while the nonprofit for profit Nature Conservancy planted a big one right up her fat ass ...she and her family should have fought for what was theirs...

oh and the Nature Conservancy is still trying to explain their money ties with British Petroleum, the oil spillers who fouled the Gulf coast and wiped out a fishing industry and who gave tons of cash to the Nature Con: Should environmental groups take money from oil, gas and coal companies? The Gulf of Mexico oil spill is raising difficult questions for several groups, especially the Nature Conservancy, which lists British Petroleum as one of its business partners.
The Nature Conservancy, which has given BP a seat on its International Leadership Council, has accepted nearly $10 million in cash and land contributions from BP and affiliated corporations over the years, reports The Washington Post. Some of its members are now questioning this relationship.

so now I hear that all the cats on the Navy -owned San Nicloas Isalnd are gone and the native only cult is jumping for joy..these are wild cats, big and finely attuned to the outdoors..they know how to take care of themselves, even though efforts in the past to reduce them have failed..the wild cats are a different breed...they have been o n the island since the 1950s depsite all the bombing exercises by the Navy and I wish they had just left them alone..they launched an atomic bomb from the island and they're worried about some cats..what a bunch of dumbasses!!!
but enter the native -only cult who always uses they mantra..oh, the island have one-of-a-kind species found nowhere else and we simply can't have wild cats eating the precious eggs of rare shorebirds.....

well, why not, cats are predators!! that's what they do...some of the cats were captured and shipped to the mainland...to domesticate them for adoption..now that's just like killing them...
these restorations are a hoax and bunch of bullshit and I'm gonna prove it.....well actually, I already have...now I'm gonna really prove it!!

tie me kangaroo down, sport

watch me wallabies feed, they're a dangerous breed, mate... o watch me wallabies feed....

well shit maybe I need to move to Oxnard! I've missed two Peter Lance hearings in Ventura and yesterday's in Oxnard....I refuse to travel south because they chopped down tons of eucalyptus trees by the highway and until I restore them all, I will be busy planting...

so I have to rely on my buddy at the New-Press Scott Steepleton for updates and it sounds like the Oxnard hearing was a good one..apparently both Lance and his lawyer Darryl Genis like having sex with kangaroos! they kept muttering stuff about courting kangaroos and shouting 'I wanna have sex with a kangaroo in court!!" or something like that there..I knew they were a couple of loonies!

at issue is whether crybaby Peter Lance should have his license removed because of his DUI....of course he should..there's no question but these hearings keep getting pushed down the road...and it seems that Lance was throwing tantrums and had to be escorted from the room again, just like in SB....

I think the Lance strategy is to cry loud enough so they give him his license back....and as much as these guys try to impune the credibilty of Officer Kasi Beutel, they fail..and it's not hard to see why..Lance's witnesses in his News-Press series were either all drunks or had to wear ankle bracelets provided by the Sheriff's Dept!! and Lance keeps wanking about forgeries that didn't happen!!

Blanco the so-called handwriting expert was already blown away last year in court at the pre-trial hearings...geez, the guy is glorified palm reader with his own ethics issues..it's simply ridiculous!! this is all a repeat of what happened in SB!!

these folks need to cut the crap and remove Lance's license for a year and be done with it....taxpayers are paying for this and Lance is clearly in the wrong..and time is a'wastin..

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

find out what it means to me...

when Kate Middleton graced our area with her presence a while back, she brought a little buzz to town....appearing with her hubby Prince William at the Polo Fields in Carp, she was a down to earth gal who happened to be the Duchess of Cambridge...I liked her immediately because I'm a good judge of character and she's pretty hot too...

now, when Kate's helicopter touched down in Carpinteria, my hope is that some of that class would rub off on Carpinteria farm gals..I'm still hoping...

Britain's Kate Middleton takes up addiction causes
Kate Middleton, the newly married wife of England’s Prince William, has become a patron of the British charity Action on Addiction. Her decision is considered controversial because of the stigma attached to drug addiction, with many comparing it to the late Princess Diana’s support of charities benefiting people with HIV/AIDS, which in the early 1980s was also considered controversial.
About one in three people in Great Britain struggle with addictions. One official report from 2007 noted that Britain has the highest rate of drug consumption, and the second highest number of drug-related deaths in the European Union. One in four young people under age 30 years old told researchers they had experimented at least once with Class A drugs like heroin or cocaine. According to the report, Great Britain’s problems are not about casual drug use, but rather that thousands of people are addicted to hard core drugs. Drug abuse costs Great Britain over £13 billion a year for expenses related to medical care, crime, and incarceration.
Middleton, whose formal title is Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, has already visited and talked to clients enrolled in treatment at Clouds House in East Knoyle near Warminster. The center treats alcoholics and drug addicts through a program that includes detoxification, intensive counseling, and a 12-step agenda.

so we all know how stupid drugs are, yet we flail around trying to get people to stop taking them...now I mentioned before how stupid I thought it was for the SB school board to send in the drug sniffing dogs to junior high..how that is a NAZI mentality..raid instead of educate..the three members who voted for this waste are David Cash,the new superintendent from Fresno, Kate Parker and Ed Heron..they voted "yes" while Annette Cordero and Monique Limon voted "no"...good for Annette and Monique....and this act by the other SB School board members is outrageous!

ACLU of Washington and Center for Justice Applaud Decision

SPOKANE, WA -- In response to a threatened lawsuit by the American Civil Liberties Union of Washington and the Center for Justice, the Nine Mile Falls School District has stopped using drug-sniffing dogs to search its middle and high school students.

"We are pleased that the district has chosen to respect its students," said Julya Hampton, the ACLU of Washington's Legal Program Director. "The district's blanket use of drug-sniffing dogs treats every student as a suspect, without suspicion or evidence that they have done anything wrong."

Superintendent Cash had some leadership issues in Fresno and resigned abruptly because of conflicts with colleagues..and he is heavily supported by pot house landlord and News-Press flunkie Lanny Ebenstein which I find rather ironic..Cash should be calling out the dogs on the druggies over at the News-Press!!! such hypocrites!!

Cash, Parker and Heron are on my radar now..where are the studies indicating drug use in our local schools that requires uniformed officers with mad dogs to sniff thru the students' back packs..this is insane and should be an invasion of privacy....and perhaps it's time to call in the ACLU dogs....

follow the drinking gourd...

well at the Carp city council meeting I found the comments about Ulysses S Grant to be insane...

trying to excuse one numbskull by pointing to another...
first of all, we're not in another civil war yet though the teabaggers are pushing us towards that end..if it happens they will be crushed in one day..in order to do that, we need leaders, commanders like Grant...

Grant was a disciplined officer and leader..his drinking was infrequent and never interfered with his duites as a commander..and he never once rode his horse into a tree drunk!!

many myths and stories are told about the civil war ..and I was there, I saw Grant take a few sips now and again, but it seems if General Grant was a lousy drunk, I'd be singing Dixie right now wid a slave cleaning up my condo and takin' care of my chirren..but that ain't what happened because I'm listening to Whitney Houston sing her heart out right now and she ain't no slave...

Many of the drinking stories come from battlefield politics. Jealous Northern generals who could find no other way to discredit this brilliant man who was delivering battlefield victories to President Lincoln, spread malicious rumors about Grant being drunk on the job. There were stories, there were innuendoes, there were suppositions. But, in truth, there are NO RELIABLE witnesses of any drunkenness on the part of Grant during the Civil War.

In his book The Trial of U.S. Grant, Charles Ellington illuminates Grant's controversial West coast years. He asserts "Captain Grant was not an alcoholic. If he were an alcoholic he would have a problem in drinking any time, even in a moderate way. And there is plenty of evidence that Grant did drink-moderately, for the rest of his life. Furthermore, as somebody who had that reputation, everybody kept their eye on Grant. It was impossible for him to take a drink without somebody watching out of the corner of his eye to notice that he did not have another drink. Every time he turned over his wine glass, as a signal for declining wine, somebody seems to have taken note of it. It was almost a no-win situation." 2

Mixing speculation with fact, Ellington further asserts: "Grant drank, sometimes to excess, but he was not a problem drinker. His physical build made it impossible for him to drink much, yet he had sometimes desired alcohol to relieve his loneliness [during the West coast years]. Grant did spend time in Eureka [California] saloons, but that is not evidence of heavy drinking. Here is where community leaders met, talked about a wide variety of subjects, and expressed the civilized conviviality of that isolated place.... That Grant and his fellow officers drank off-duty seems to be undisputed. That Grant was drunk on duty has not been proven. ... The only valid conclusion that can be drawn about Grant's drinking is that he drank-like most soldiers of his time. But he was not a drunkard. Grant did not consume large quantities of liquor because his body did not require much to achieve the inevitable results. Some of Grant's contemporaries recorded that he went on 'sprees,' but none accused him of failing in his duty because he was under the influence ..

so maybe the truth lies somewhere in between..people drink but some can't handle alcohol..we've seen it right here in Santa Barbara and Carp..and the drunks are still blaming everyone else from the cops to their political enemies for their own failings...

tipping the bottle and passing the buck...

she's no lady..

she's my wife...

ok so I go to the Carp city council meeting Monday evening...I'm expecting a full council to deal with the ongoing Joe Armendariz issue...the city's options with Joe's ethics slump re his repeated DUIs...they could censure, ask him to resign, send him to rehab, strip him of his committee duties...

I get there at 5:15 and start taking pics of pretty girls..damn nice babes tonight... everyone is in good spirits...before the festivites started, a chick from COX explained the switch to digital TV which will allow council meetings to be seen in Carp..right now I only get Santa Barbara meetings! so that's good..now we get both..both cities can watch each other!! and the chick who gave the presentation, I'd like to watch her take a bath!

then the council files in...except Joe...he told the media he wouldn't be there tonight...Brad Stein still has a cold but managed a wave..hey Brad!

witchy Kathleen Reddington arrived on time..it was a miracle! what is up with the Addams Family hair...there's a Goth thing in Carp I don't know about?

Kathleen's stance on Joe was to coddle and baby him and say this was all just a witch hunt while the guys on the council were running out of patience with Joe's lack of ethics and poor representaion of the city....you can't spin a few DUIs by a councilman as positive for the City of Carp..no way, no how

so we get to public comment and the Hot Dog guy, William Connell, got up and presented a laundry list of Joe's bad behavior...it's getting pretty personal between Bill and Joe so I'll let them duke it out while I expose the hypocrisy of the rightwingers...

a few folks defended Joe's DUI and one guy pointed out that Ulysses S Grant was a drunk and so was Ted Kennedy...if that is the best defense for a city councilman's lapse in ethical behavior, then we might as well have no ethics clause in the city charter..and then the guy says he could dig up dirt on all the council members...he was a nut!!

apparently there was a rumor going around that Mayor Clark beats his wife! Clark put it to rest and said tongue-in-cheek--"well duh it's not true...if you don't believe me, ask my wife"--- and he provided a phone number...God I hope Joe's little fans haven't gotten so desperate as to start rumors about the other council members...leave that shit for the News-Press!!!

the night was a clinic about alcoholism and drunk driving..some folks spoke about their family issue with drunks and all the damage done...and accepting personal responsibility to change the situation..if you can't or won't as in Joe's case, then the city council will do it for you..and that's what happened..after reviewing their options with the city manager and attorney, the council voted 3-1 to censure Joe, strip him of his committee duties, and ask him to resign..all reasonable acts to counter a most unreasonable act of drunk driving...

so congrats to the Carp City Council except Kathleen, for dealing with the issue that Joe won't deal with...it wasn't quite a "Code Red" but it was close...you simply need to deal with the weak links..fairly and quickly...in order to resume with the city's business as Mayor Clark eloquently pointed out...

oh..and Joe.. you owe a great big thank-you to Carty, Stein and Clark...for cleaning up your mess

the Bodyguard

candle in the wind...

do you suppose if my homie Kevin Costner was doing his job, Whitney Houston would still be alive? I thought Kevin was her bodyguard..I know if Whitney had spent the day with me at the beach, she would still be singing her songs...

I haven't watched the Grammys in ages, but I checked in to see the tributes..Bruce Springsteen opened with a rousing "We Take Care of our Own"...
rapper LL Cool-J hosted..of course I don't know who he is, but he did an ok job....I loved Lupe Fiasco and Bruno Mars...I flipped back and forth between the cable music channels..they were doing nonstop Whitney Houston videos...back in the 80s she was Queen of Soul/Pop churning out hits at breakneck speed....the daughter of Cissy Houston, she grew up around Dionne Warwick and Aretha Franklin....geez..talk about music royalty..

well, back at the Grammys, Joe Walsh, one of the greatest rocknroll guitarists of all time was helping Paul warble his way thru "My Blue Valentine"..Joe was on classical guitar..sorry guys, it didn't quite work...Paul just doesn't have the voice for that stuff...and tonight it was all about the voice...the Beach Boys reunited for "Good Vibrations", helped by some much younger musicians..Mike Love looking rather frail and elderly...I saw Brian Wilson at the Lobero a few years ago and he was great..but tonight he looked a bit forlorn, and quickly left the stage after the song....

so I'm watching Whitney Houston videos...I always have when they happen to come on...she's a beautiful woman, energetic and smiling, with a beautiful voice....and I heard some songs I've never heard before that became quick favorites.."I Have Nothing" from the "Bodyguard"...and another one about being hurt real bad.."yeah ya did, shor ya did" she sang masterfully...
she was on stage, sitting on a tall stool...wearing a white dress..sweat glistening off her face...she looked like an Olympian athlete..she was singing with every fiber of her being..and that's why I liked her...

I don't know about the drugs and alcohol or why she took up with a no-talent guy like Bobbie Brown, but something happened... I was looking for it in her videos..and there was something behind her smile, her eyes, that was hard to describe.....a sadness...maybe "the Greatest Love of All" said it...I don't know....but I know this, no one at the Grammy Awards could hold a candle to her voice....

it's a beautiful day...

white bird must fly, or she will die....

well it was Saturday....it was the most beautiful day I've ever seen...I started the day with some Beach Boys blaring and was so glad to be in California...it's just beautiful here...the wind was blowing, the clouds were roaming, and some little dog somewhere was foaming at the mouth...like the ocean when it laps up to the beach..you know, the foam...

anyway, I felt like shopping so I went to Big Five and got some summery items like a watch with instructions in five languages...then I went to Sears because I am a patriotic American..

then I decided to go thru Hope Ranch and visit Snoop and Wendy and swing by the old school..Laguna Blanca...it's a great school and hasn't changed much..in fact Hope Ranch stays blissfully the same..of course every neighborhood school has its secrets, but yours is safe with me..altho the education was great and personal at Laguna, the French teacher sucked..there is no way I'm learning French with some lady showing me cartoons with no captions and telling me to fill in words in French...geez, how lazy can you get, lady...how do you say "FUCK YOU " in French??

hey I figured I'd stop by the Boathouse to see how Tony Denunzio manuevered his truck on that fateful night.. I pull into the parking lot and geez I'm sober and still having trouble driving thru this little maze!! don't hit that surfer girl!!!

wow..the day gets more beautiful by the minute....whimsical clouds dance in the pale blue sky...the ocean is close by and the truck nearly drives itself down the Mesa, down Shoreline Dr to the Harbor....oooo..it's so pretty the sand the sea...

hey, I'm behind a Mercedes with a lady driving who looks like Wendy..but lucky for her, today I love everyone!! even Ruppie who's journalists are being arrested left and right for bribery!!

then I park it at the Harbor... the beautiful Harbor..once a target for piracy by Dr. Laura and the shame she brought to the Yacht Club for cheating at the races..today it stands proud again..still a great hangout ....and then a nice walk on Leadbetter...some surfers fighting the windblown waves...shorebirds hanging out....little fluffy dogs everywhere..I even made some room in my heart for them!!

it was a beautiful day that began with Beach Boys music...and ended with Whitney Houston music...

lost her in the sun..

the winter of our discontent...

can someone tell me why in the middle of winter it's 75 degrees right now? in the sun? the blaring brutal sun....it's trajectory across the sky is low so the hotness is super hot compared to summer hotness....lately, the sun is setting as the gentle tide rolls in as the light blue sky smiles down happily..and burns my ass!

I just want a sound explanation not there's a high pressure ridge somewhere close by...an explanation because I bought a bunch of winter clothes and gave the old ones away to the homeless charity.....but when am I gonna be able to wear this thinsulated jacket..or this down vest from Cabela's? now? no, I tried and started sweating so had to turn on the fans...it's ridiculous...

oh I see..the only time I can wear my new clothes, my new Gallatin flannel shirt, is three o'clock in the morning when the temp dips to the high 40s...ok so I'll get up and dressed and take a walk outside in my vest and new Rockports...I'll head out to the hills in the serious moonlight and meet with the coyotes and raccoons and skunks...

I'll take a walk over to the cemetery.....pay my respects to little Anna Lee..I don't even know her and yet she is indeed my inspiration...

better yet I'll visit her in the morning when the sun is warm....as warm as my heart when I think of her....and these yellow flowers by the side of the road..they smell so sweet and there's hundreds of bees buzzing around them...

Anna Lee..little darlin'..it's alright....

happiness

runs in a circular motion...

oh I didn't know there was a "World Happiness Day" until I read the News-Press and another silly article by this Dave Mason guy..I hope not the ex-Traffic guitarist....the guy who played with Hendrix!! couldn't be..this Mason begins the article like this: the surf gently rolled in, and the sun began its slow descent in the light blue sky on a quiet late afternoon...

WTF? that sounds like something I would write ... geez, Dave, knock it off!

anyway, the Constitution guarantees the right to pursue happiness, it says nothing about obtaining it......no guarantee that you will be other than unhappy for the rest of your life...some people are happy that way, I guess..

but the article in the NP tells us about a gal named Jackie.... a Montecito therapist who got a BA in Psychology and a Master's in Creative arts...(I'm giggling now because I'm happy)..and well she wants you to be happy, even if you aren't, she will make you happy..well I can think of a way she could make me happy right now baby but she might sue me, so I'll let ya guess what I'm thinking about right now!..and wut I'm thinking right now is a making me very very happy!!

look, psychology is not something to be toyed with...nowadays it's become pop-psychology and that makes me unhappy...

the real work you do can help you help yourself..in the right hands, a facilitator can help you deal with all the stuff in your head that's causing you some confusion and..well..unhappiness...if you don't want to be happy, then you don't have to be...embrace the unhappy and the happy will follow...it's ok to feel blue, otherwise you won't know what happiness is....

if you think that sucking up to rich people will make you happy, then go for it...but think about this: it will make me very very unhappy...Jackie, do you want that on your conscience??