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everyday's the 4th of July
memo:
the 4th of July is coming up Wednesday and I remember as a kid watching the show on the waterfront back east with my dear aunties..I loved it!!! bang, boom!! yay Miss Liberty!!
but these days, some people are concerned about the fireworks scaring their dogs...some even advocating for a noiseless fireworks celebration...shhhhh!!
wull, there's some things you can do to protect the mutts you seem to love so much..much more than separated babies at the border, I'm sure...
personally I don't give a shit that Fido gets scared on the 4th of July, but here's some tips anyhoo
10 Tips for providing a safe July 4th for your Canine Household:
Make sure your dog gets plenty of exercise earlier in the day.(squats are good)
Keep your dogs inside during fireworks, preferably with human companionship. If it’s hot, air conditioning will help. Bringing your dogs to a fireworks display is never a good idea.(bringing your dog anywhere is never a good idea)
Provide a safe place inside for your dogs to retreat. When scared of sounds they can’t orient, dogs often prefer small enclosed areas. (I once had a dog who climbed in the bathtub during windstorms.) If your dog is comfortable in a crate, that is a good option.(try the fridge!)
If possible, keep the windows and curtains closed. Covering the crate or lowering the blinds can also be helpful. Removing visual stimulation can also help calm dogs.(pussies)
Make sure all your dogs are wearing ID tags with a properly fitting collar. Dogs have been known to become Houdini around the 4th of July.(Houdini??)
Leave your dog something fun to do – like a frozen Kong filled with his favorite treats.
(or a bong)
Sound Therapy: The psychoacoustically designed music of Through a Dog's Ear has been specifically designed to reduce canine anxiety and has been successfully utilized by dog lovers world-wide. It is most effective when you first play the music well before the fireworks start, at a time the dog is already feeling peaceful and relaxed. He will begin to associate the music with being calm and content. Then play the music a couple of hours before the fireworks start and continue to play through bedtime. The music doesn’t need to be loud to be effective as it has been clinically demonstrated to calm the canine nervous system. Listen to free sound samples.(just play some rocknroll!!)
Sound Therapy combined with Desensitization: The Canine Noise Phobia series (CNP) consists of four CD's that can be used individually or as a set: Fireworks, Thunderstorms, City Sounds, and Calming. CNP is an innovative desensitization training tool that combines three distinctive elements for the treatment and prevention of sound-sensitivities and noise-phobias:(whack him over the head with a rolled up New-Press)
progressive sound effects (distant/close)
specially-designed psychoacoustic music (Through a Dog’s Ear)
reward-based reinforcement protocols (Victoria Stilwell)dog: mommy, what's a protocol?
if your stupid dog is still chasing his tail on the 5th of July, send him to a psychotherapist
don't give me that do-good bullshit
hey, KTYD stopped censoring that great Pink Floyd song...good, play the song as the artist intended or don't play it at all...
remember "the better part of valor is discretion" which simply means use your head or something
someone who dint use her head hit two people in Carp while DUI...I looked up her facebook page and she seems like a nice lady, from Bakersfield, but boy when the booze takes over it's lights out!!
the sun has been hiding for a month now but you can't just stop living, stop looking, stop hunting
otherwise, you die
makes me feel fine
ok so Trump is afraid some little Honduras girls will threaten him so he keeps them locked in cages...come 2020, this embarASSment of a president has gotta go
but summer is close..so close I can taste it...birds, blue-eyed dragonflies, and surf city on Santa Claus Lane....kids having fun..as it should be
and the winds are blowing through the jasmine in my mind
Ooh, that smell.... Can't you smell that smell?
that would be Santa Maria
Andy Caldwell lives in Santa Maria and Santa Maria STINKS according to the Grand Jury..maybe that's why Andy writes for the News-Press because he can't stand the stink of his own town!!
and Andy is mad that the Grand Jury would even bring this matter up...but as they say 'you can't keep a rotten egg in a rose bush forever'
there's a reason I don't live in Santa Maria and that's cuz it stinks..and it's got too many conservatives up there and those guys know how to spread manure real thick...and if you vote in a conservative governor, California will look like Santa Maria- a big stinky armpit...
even Wendy knows not to go there...
the county rep for stinky Santa Maria is Peter Adam..he works on daddy's farm and could care less about the neighbors
A Message from Peter Adam
As a fifth generation Santa Maria Valley farmer and successful business owner, I understand that every new regulation has the potential to negatively impact the people of Santa Barbara County. It is with this attitude that I approach County government -- the actions of the Supervisors can, and often do, affect our local business owners, farmers, ranchers, and most importantly, taxpayers.
If you have questions about County government, or need help navigating an often complex web of County regulations, do not hesitate to call my office. We will be happy to help you in whatever way possible.-Peter
well Pete, how about cleaning up your barfy smelly town!!
Yo momma so smelly, the judge said "Odor in the court".
Yo mama so smelly the Statue of Liberty got off her platform and started running for the ocean.
There are two flies sitting on a pile of poop. When one fly farts, the other fly looks at him and says, “Hey do ya mind? I’m eating here!
no wise man has the power, to reason away
so I was watching the SB City Council discuss the cannabis biz with the public and some stoners who want to open up shop on State Street and who among the group did I see supporting the pot houses? KENNY LOGGINS!! I couldn't believe my eyes!! out of all the issues Kenny could've shown up for, he's there for pot...I swear, does this guy think he's more popular than Jesus in Santa Barbara??
well, I am boycotting all Loggins and Messina music....you can bring your albums down to Santa Claus beach on Saturday and we'll burn them in a nice big bonfire
Beware the Loggins and Messina menace.... In the excitatory state that the hippie duo place these youngsters into, these young people will do anything they are told to do ... One day when the revolution is ripe, I warns in dark, apocalyptic tones, they [the communists] could put the Kenny Loggins on TV and [they] could mass hypnotize Santa Barbarians, hence the Unity Shoppe Telethon...This scares the wits out of me!!!
Loggins and Messina themselves are rude, profane, vulgar, anti-Christ, atheistic, agnostic, anti-Pope, anti-Christian, etc.
LOOKY HERE: 'An Analysis of the Communist Use of Music - The Communist Master Music Plan'. The twenty-six page booklet includes eleven pages of footnotes - these far right extremists will smoke pot all day, get high and play the guitar
Pavlov experimented with animals in other areas as well, for example, in an area known as artificial neurosis. Here the scientist took healthy animals and using two conditioned reflexes, the excitatory reflex and the inhibitory reflex, caused these healthy animals to break down mentally with cases of artificial neurosis
and that's what we got here..stoners and artificial neurosis
I'm very disappointed in you, Kenny
The magic of a blackened night
Danny Kirwan...great guitarist and songwriter for Fleetwood Mac back in the day when the songs were really good and bluesy...
I mean really good
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kf9xxeeluHM
gone but not forgotten...
who's pickin' the banjer [banjo] here???
the election turned out just about right...most of the alt-rightwing guys will have to look for real jobs..being a strategic consultant is not a real job
Wendy and the News-Press got all of the endorsements wrong 'cept for Justin Fareed who will face Salud again in November and lose again
get away from the farm Justin and start living your own life..
or people will think you is a hillbilly
waiting for the sun
if the sun comes out I'll vote today but it's been overcast
and it's a bit nipply out
Palm Springs, I ❤ You!!
so the News-Press has some endorsements..you should consider them as Wendy's was one of two papers to endorse Trump..and both papers were named News-Press..the other was News-Press and Gazette which owns KEYT and all the reporters and news folks over there..some cute gals though, ♥♥♥
so Wendy's got some creds now and she wants Travis Allen for governor... of course she does..Travis used to work for her..the gay Indian editor dude! @powwow
oh wait, that was Travis Armstrong...finally left SB for Palm Springs where all old queer guys end up...Palm Springs..dogs, golf and fags everywhere!! no thanks
this other guy Travis Allen won't win despite Wendy's endorsement...he's a tax cheat and wants to spend all his time driving Mexicans out of California..speaking of Mexicans, I see the Angel of Death, Yolanda is now Director of Operations at the News-Press, supplanting Don Katich..she's a coconut Mexican..brown on the outside and white on the inside... like a coconut! it's the only way to survive nowadays if you wanna hang with white conservatives
but who can imagine a California with only rich, white conservatives??
it'd drive me plum loco!
