valley of the dolls

why am I lost as a lamb??

oh I was lost yesterday, don't yu worry...I saw a bunch of people with Xs on their foreheads ..I think the Manson family was in town..no it was ASH Wednesday..now me being a Catholic I always thought it was ASS Wednesday....unfortunately the only chance I had for ass yesterday was an eighty year old woman at the Italian deli...

well it may be true that I give some people headaches but it's also true that some people give me headaches, too....so in order to prevent that from occuring, it has been my practice to take an Excedrin in the morning each day for the last 20 years or so..just one pill washed down with coffee...I guess that makes me an addict too...I'm a drug addict..there I admit it..but I prefer to call it preventive maintenance...

ok so for the past two weeks I've been running low on Excedrin and haven't been able to buy any because the drug store shelves are empty of Excedrin bottles..no explanation, just empty shelves..then finally I see a note that Excedrin has been recalled due to mechanical problems..it seems that packaging problems at a drug manufacturing plant may have resulted in powerful prescription painkillers ending up in packages of Excedrin ...

then I thought of Whitney Houston...what if she just took an Excedrin for a headache, next thing you know she's dead becasue she mistakenly was fed a powerful pain killer...a drug (as morphine or codeine) containing or derived from opium and tending to induce sleep and alleviate pain; she could have fallen asleep in the bathtube..I'm serious!!

anyway, I switched to Rite Aid aspirin to deal with my pain....now if you people would stop annoying me so much, I wouldn't need all these pills...

sweet home, Alabama

where the skies are so blue...

well you might remember the Peter Lance hearings last year at the Santa Barbara court house...it was like I was in a Hollywood movie....like I was an extra or something...there were all sorts of characters moving in and out of the movie..some died off and some came back...

the blogs and online media had lots of coverage and the News-Press had their agenda as did Noozhawk..but the Independent has some good stories and intesresting comments from the anti-cop crowd....

so Peter is on his last gasp to keep his license due to his DUI arrest..the case will be settled in the DMV...so I'm reading arrest reports and I come across a name that sounded familiar- Hogan Ganschow-altho it is spelled Ganchow in the report... Hogan I think is or was a deputy public defender who was very interested in trying to help Peter Lance...Lance used Hogan's comments in his News-Press stories.. and Ganschow is pals with Josh Lynn who lost out to Joyce Dudley in the most recent DA race..I think there's a little story here... lots of petty stuff between Joyce and Josh....

PETER LANCE, SPECIAL TO THE NEWS-PRESS

from the News-Press/ Lance series/ July 25, 2011 1:18 PM

PUBLIC DEFENDER'S OFFICE LAUNCHES A FORGERY PROBE

Hogan Ganschow is a deputy public defender who spent almost a year in the arraignment part of Santa Barbara County Superior Court. After the initial News-Press series ran, he sent the following note to his superiors:

"In light of the recent articles by Peter Lance, I have had the chance to reflect on my 10 months spent doing arraignments in Santa Barbara, from January 2010 to November 2010. As you are surely aware, one of Mr. Lance's chief allegations is that Officer Kasi Beutel intentionally neglected to inform him of his right to a re-testable blood sample. In order to cover up her failure to properly advise him of his Trombetta rights, it is also Mr. Lance's allegation that Kasi Beutel either forged or had someone forge his signature on his Trombetta waiver. He has also indicated that other arrestees are making similar allegations of Trombetta failures and possible forgeries during Kasi Beutel arrests.

"While I was working in Department 8, I handled the majority of DUI cases and made notes on the salmon-colored interview sheets.

"Soon into my assignment, I began to notice that Kasi Beutel was showing up far more often than the average law enforcement officer. As such, I made it my practice to make a note on the salmon sheet every time I saw she was present for a DUI arrest. I probably noted a couple (maybe a few) dozen incidents during my ten months.

"Additionally, when a blood sample was absent, I made it my practice to always ask clients if they had been offered a re-testable blood sample. If the clients claimed that they had not been advised (and the police report said otherwise), I also made it my practice to make a note on the salmon sheet reflecting the discrepancy, regardless of whether it was a Beutel case.

"I understand that most, if not all, of these files are now in storage. I believe it may be in our clients' interests to look at these files in order to see if there are any consistencies between Peter Lance's stories and those of our clients. Further, I would personally be willing to undertake the project of digging up all my DUI arraignments from 2010. If you agree that this is a worthy project, please advise."

On July 18, Mr. Ganschow confirmed that such an investigation had been authorized by his superiors in the Public Defender's Office.

"We don't know where this will go," says Darryl Genis. "But it's highly significant that independent of Peter Lance's forgery findings, a respected Santa Barbara defense attorney also believes that there could be a pattern."

oh...and I see that a Hogan Ganchow was just busted for being under the influence of alcohol/drugs!! the spelling was wrong on the arrest report but I figured it's the same guy....
Hogan Ganchow
Reported: 02/19/2012 by Crime Reporter: 7235
Crime Report #: 6817951
Source: Santa Barbara PD
M PC647(F) Under the Influence of Drugs/Alcohol

now this doesn't say it was a DUI and I'm not judging guilt or innocence, just that he was arrested... I think that's a story, a public defender getting busted for being under the influence, don't you News-Press??

but it's a safe bet to say most of Lance's supporters have drug or alcohol issues!!

it looks like Hogan and his dad Michael Ganschow belong to the Porsche Club of America and are both lawyers....and both talk real funny "all y'all and like that" like theys from Alabama!

Micheal Ganschow made numerous comments on the Peter Lance case at the Independent site..he was one of Lance's biggest cheerleaders and was always going off on the cops and prosecuters with long rambling exposes on how crooked the DA Dudley was and how all the cops were framing people..hmmmm..

it was clear that many of the people against the DUI cops are probably fond of driving while intoxicated..or just druggies themselves...
for them, it's probably a way of life so naturally when a cop arrests them, they get upset and try to blame the system!

http://www.independent.com/news/2011/jul/07/dui-case-swerves-map/#commenttoggle

did they think the cops would stop pulling over people for DUI just because the Lance case was dismissed?? how stupid is that?

and I'll be watching this one...the hearing whenever it comes up..maybe Hogan will get his daddy to represent him...or maybe he'll get Darryl Genis!! or maybe he'll run to the News-Press and do a story..the possibilities are endless!!

ring my bell..

dust my broom and clean my clock...

ok so I'm sitting at home minding my own business when someone puts a little piece of paper on my doorstep..it's an ad for their cleaning service "Cleaning Therapy"...one of the listed benefits of using them to clean my condo is they speak English...that is a buzz kill right there...the last thing I want is an English speaking woman in my condo cleaning it..the problem is she won't clean anything, she'll just talk and complain..and probably steal something..
now, a Spanish or French speaking woman is another story...hardworking ladies come in and do the job...and then the fantasy of a sexual encounter gallups thru my head like a Polo pony...geez, can you imagine a hot Spanish babe who can't speak English, dropping her Windex and dropping her panties and screaming at me in words I can't understand..in a little maid's uniform...hey isn't that what happend to Arnold???

well who can blame him....there's nothing sexier than a woman who can ring my bell AND dust my broom AND clean my clock...

press my shirts

anyway, I got my shirts last week from Schnee's in Montana..nice shirts for a rugged fellow like myself...but the thing is the online order isn't the same as the invoice they sent me...the online price was less because the shirts were on sale and for some reason it indicated I got two for the regular price of one...I thought that's nice a two-for-one sale, but it wasn't.. I called Schnee's and a guy named Bart (!) answered and said he doesn't know what happened but he will charge me for two shirts...no apology no nothing, just, he'll charge me for two shirts, so I said ok and hung up on him... but why should I pay for their online error...they should eat it give me that second shirt for $0.00 like it says on the invoice...
Grand Totals:
SCHNEE'S Gallatin Flannel Shirt
Charcoal Plaid
X-Large $89.00
SCHNEE'S Gallatin Flannel Shirt
Khaki Black Plaid
X-Large $0.00
Subtotal: $89.00
Shipping Rate: $9.50
Total: $98.50
Please note: Orders placed on Friday after 8:00am Mountain Time will ship the following Monday.
Looking for the perfect gift? The Schnee's Gift Card makes gift-giving easy!

if small businesses want a break, then they gotta own up to their mistakes and stop trying to screw the customer...needless to say, I won't do any more business with Schnee's in Montana because they are a bunch booze swilling hillbillies!

Born in the USA!

from sea to shining sea

I was riding around Carp Sunday, enjoying myself, when I see this sign in a flower grower's lot in the foothills..it was signed by the Van Wingerdens...what does it mean I wonder...to put a big preachy sign on your property telling us what they think it means to be an American..are they being investigated by the feds? I don't know but they have a big flower growing operation and I support the growers, but the Van Wingerdens are teabaggers, it seems...and now they are on my radar...

I know that June Van Wingerden has been on the Carp Water District Board incurring huge water debts while Carpinterians pay very high water rates....something the new board is grappling with.... she's been seen at luncheons with Joe Armendariz and Andrew Breitbart..

and the Van Wingerdans immigrated here in 1967...you know what that means: they are non-native!!!..and June wears a little Dutch boy haircut so why should I care what she thinks about what it means to be an American..I know what it means to be an American, I was born here.. I was born in the USA

it means: freedom comes with responsibility..you can't just do whatever you want...we have individual freedoms so long as they don't infringe on another's rights

when we bomb countries for no reason, and kill their children, we should expect them to defend themselves and that means American casualties...that's why we need to elect leaders who understand this

this is a government of by and for the people..it's not a government designed only for the wealthy

I believe in working for a living..and planning for the day when I don't want to work..that means being fiscally responsible, taking risks, expecting the money markets to be managed honestly, and the right to bargain collectively with an employer..private or public...

I believe when someone tries to steal from me, the Constitition provides a remedy..the right to bear arms... BAMMM!!! so all you yahoos trying to infringe on a worker's right to public service and fair compensation....remember that little word: BAMMM!! I'll blow your motherfucking hearts out.....

we have freedom of religion..if you don't like the fact that I'm not a Christian, I don't really give a shit...and just try to force your religious views on me and you will meet your motherfucking maker.....

I have no problem with taxes as long as they are administered fairly...

and we have my most cherished right..freedom of speech..the right to speak your mind.....censorship is the providence of the ignorant, so when someone tells you you can't read something or tries to ban a book by Mark Twain, tell them to FUCK OFF!! this is AMERICA!!!

I've been around the world and love other places..France, Italy...but I love America the best...it's true some Americans are idiots but finding them and exposing them is fun!!!

well that's my short list....Happy Presidents' Day!

papa's got a brand new bag

peaceful waters....

ok so I'm watching Whitney Houston's funeral services and the gospel choir was singing songs of praise and joy...now that can't be faked...if you're gonna preach to me, then I prefer you sing like the choir..don't ring my doorbell dressed in black suit and pretend you're some spiritual being...the service was spiritual and not religious...I'm so glad Whitney is being honored and remembered for the singer and the woman she was....and even Kevin Costner paid his respects and said some nice things about her....but the highlight of the service was Whitney's friend, stunning Alicia Keyes..she played piano and fidgeted with her awesome low cut blouse and cried...

and I heard there were two conservative radio guys who called Whitney some bad names..I'll deal with those two knuckleheads at another time...thank you for the music, Whitney!!

now, speaking of knuckleheads, I heard that Mike Stoker was having a little wine and cheese party at the tiny Garden Market on Santa Claus Lane...it is being sponsored by the Carpinteria Valley Republican Club which I've never heard of before....Stoker is running for an assembly seat..I thought it might be fun to drop by and see if I can spot the Three Stooges, Mike, Lanny and Joe together in one place in my fave place Santa Claus Lane....wine and cheese parties..geez, wine at three o'clock in the afternoon??

ok so I go over there and wait in front of the Garden Market and BBQ place....milling about are some people but no sign of Lanny or Joe or Mike....it's five minutes to three and I'm getting ready to leave when Mike drives up in a little black FOREIGN SUV! that's just not patriotic...

so Mike comes moseying down the sidewalk area and I take a picture and ask him what he thinks of Lanny's pot house issues up north..Lanny was sued by 17 neighbors for operating a nuisance pot house in Eureka and settled the day before the trial...

Mike smiles and giggles a little, then grimaces and shakes his head back and forth, seemingly struggling to say something, but says nothing..so I offer: you don't like it? he giggles..

then he says he doesn't think it's appropriate for Lanny to have a pothouse in Eureka... then he mentions Das William's stance on medical marijuana..he always mentions Das for some reason! Das is Mike's daddy!!

then I ask Mike if he's on the board of the new non-profit California Center for Public Policy, but Mike giggles and tells me to relax and enjoy my weekend...then I say I'm having a great weekend, that's why I'm here on Santa Claus Lane asking him questions..so I ask Mike again if he's on the board and he says he doesn't know, so I show him the board roster with his name on it and he says he offered general counsel to Lanny but doesn't know if he's on the board...then he says "maybe" he is and giggles..ok...well, but I don't blame him for being embarrassed to admit he's on the same non-profit as Lanny and Joe.... and Tom Watson and Brooks Firestone..and Frank Hotchkiss...

then Mike giggles again (what's he high on, giggle juice?) and says I really need to learn to relax and then starts dancing around like James Brown! I tried to axe him about Joe's DUI issues, but Mike just started singing..."jump back Jack, see ya later alligator"....

right back at ya, slick

cat scratch fever...

this one's for my pal, Spooky!


ok so the notion that killing thousands of animals and removing acres of plants will save other plants and animals is an insane notion..but that's how the Parks Service and Nature Conservancy are operating and have opearted since they confiscated the Channel Islands from a private owner...that owner was the huge family that included SYVJ owner Nancy Crawford Hall..she bent over while the nonprofit for profit Nature Conservancy planted a big one right up her fat ass ...she and her family should have fought for what was theirs...

oh and the Nature Conservancy is still trying to explain their money ties with British Petroleum, the oil spillers who fouled the Gulf coast and wiped out a fishing industry and who gave tons of cash to the Nature Con: Should environmental groups take money from oil, gas and coal companies? The Gulf of Mexico oil spill is raising difficult questions for several groups, especially the Nature Conservancy, which lists British Petroleum as one of its business partners.
The Nature Conservancy, which has given BP a seat on its International Leadership Council, has accepted nearly $10 million in cash and land contributions from BP and affiliated corporations over the years, reports The Washington Post. Some of its members are now questioning this relationship.

so now I hear that all the cats on the Navy -owned San Nicloas Isalnd are gone and the native only cult is jumping for joy..these are wild cats, big and finely attuned to the outdoors..they know how to take care of themselves, even though efforts in the past to reduce them have failed..the wild cats are a different breed...they have been o n the island since the 1950s depsite all the bombing exercises by the Navy and I wish they had just left them alone..they launched an atomic bomb from the island and they're worried about some cats..what a bunch of dumbasses!!!
but enter the native -only cult who always uses they mantra..oh, the island have one-of-a-kind species found nowhere else and we simply can't have wild cats eating the precious eggs of rare shorebirds.....

well, why not, cats are predators!! that's what they do...some of the cats were captured and shipped to the mainland...to domesticate them for adoption..now that's just like killing them...
these restorations are a hoax and bunch of bullshit and I'm gonna prove it.....well actually, I already have...now I'm gonna really prove it!!

tie me kangaroo down, sport

watch me wallabies feed, they're a dangerous breed, mate... o watch me wallabies feed....

well shit maybe I need to move to Oxnard! I've missed two Peter Lance hearings in Ventura and yesterday's in Oxnard....I refuse to travel south because they chopped down tons of eucalyptus trees by the highway and until I restore them all, I will be busy planting...

so I have to rely on my buddy at the New-Press Scott Steepleton for updates and it sounds like the Oxnard hearing was a good one..apparently both Lance and his lawyer Darryl Genis like having sex with kangaroos! they kept muttering stuff about courting kangaroos and shouting 'I wanna have sex with a kangaroo in court!!" or something like that there..I knew they were a couple of loonies!

at issue is whether crybaby Peter Lance should have his license removed because of his DUI....of course he should..there's no question but these hearings keep getting pushed down the road...and it seems that Lance was throwing tantrums and had to be escorted from the room again, just like in SB....

I think the Lance strategy is to cry loud enough so they give him his license back....and as much as these guys try to impune the credibilty of Officer Kasi Beutel, they fail..and it's not hard to see why..Lance's witnesses in his News-Press series were either all drunks or had to wear ankle bracelets provided by the Sheriff's Dept!! and Lance keeps wanking about forgeries that didn't happen!!

Blanco the so-called handwriting expert was already blown away last year in court at the pre-trial hearings...geez, the guy is glorified palm reader with his own ethics issues..it's simply ridiculous!! this is all a repeat of what happened in SB!!

these folks need to cut the crap and remove Lance's license for a year and be done with it....taxpayers are paying for this and Lance is clearly in the wrong..and time is a'wastin..