Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress

Saturday night I went downtown, working for the FBI...

well it was a beautiful day for the beach or the Women's Festival..so I went to both!

 

 

 

ok so the Women's Festival is going on this weekend and I see I missed Kelly LeBrock Friday accepting her award...oh well, there's more than one girl in the world so I decided to check out Earl Warren Showgrounds and see all the women...normally I don't wear perfume but a little extra splash of Aramis seemed appropriate...I may be a misogynistic pig but at least I smell good and don't have a bunch of snot running down my nose like for example your dogs!! hahaha

 

so I motor on into Santa Barbara Earl Warren and there's a couple hundred folks milling about the showgrounds...$5 to park and $5 to get in...or pay $79 amd you get VIP treatment..look, I was there for one reason and these ladies saw though me like a glass of water...nevertheless I saw no reason to abandon my plan....so I too milled about and gawked at some pretty chicks but some were a little uptight too...and there was an antique doll show and other booths selling stuff...but no striptease...I paid five bucks for this??

oh wait..this  beautiful chick in the sleeveless black dress is doing a little dance.. a pirouette  ....awesome shoulders... mmmmmm and as close to a striptease as it gets!

but all I was really trying to do is re-create the famous flying dress scene... first by Marilyn Monroe in "Seven Year Itch", where Marilyn Monroe in the white dress was standing above a subway grating, the air was blowing her dress up...next I wanted Kelly Lebrock to do that same scene from "Woman in Red" for me but she was not there....so this chick with the black dress did the scene..preettty nice job!!
  

 
ok so I head on over to the Harbor to see what the storm did but nothing too bad 'cept for tons of  sand blocking the harbor ...but I did see some women who looked like they were having fun in the sun and wearing next to nothing..these are my kinda girls! Leadbetter beach was awesome and the pelicans kept flying over head...hundreds of them...thousands....millions...it was bitchin'!!

women are like pelicans in a way...always hanging out together

Scarlet Begonias

She had rings on her fingers and bells on her shoes.
And I knew without askin' she was into the blues.
She wore scarlet begonias tucked into her curls,
I knew right away she was not like other girls, other girls.

Channel Islands Restoration nonprofit deadhead plant police

 

well you can plant a bunch of native plants but that won't stop Nature from moving seeds around as she sees fit, esp in Spring...but I saw the thing about a nonprofit from Carp, Channel Islands Restoration and how they are planting thousands of "native' plants at Refugio creek...well I don't hang out at Refugio but I hear they ripped out fennel, castor bean and Eucalyptus trees which is mighty stupid....fennel is wonderful and smells like licorice...a welcome to Springtime...the eucs are home to raptors..and the castor bean is maligned but is a very pretty plant....and a survivor....it will be back



 

so these plant police nazis keep doing these little species cleansing projects for "biodiversity" which is a meaningless term but supposedly the native plants will enhance my enjoyment of being outside..... I tell them it's bullshit...I don't like the outside looking like someone's private little garden....I like the outside wild and haphazard...

native plants got washed out/2014

 

now the folly of all this is the main dude at CIR is a big fat slob and the treasurer is... egadds!! that native cultist chick who writes for NOOZHAWK!! that Kathleen gal!! this bitch wants to get rid of honeybees because they are non-native!!

no trout but lotsa seaweed!

 

well these folks are on my radar and I will expose their evil deeds....biodiversity flies in the face of dispersal, the means by which seeds get blown around by winds and the fennel grows...luckily for me, they can't stop that and the fennel will continue to grow.... I never in a million years thought I would come across people who would think fennel is a bad thing...unbelieveable! FENNEL is LIFE and these people are deadheads..just look at them..deadheads...bad news...

pretty native plants in July 2013

 

now as to the claim that the native plants provide some super environment for native animals...not true.... the "restoration" at the Carp State beach creek was started a few years back..they killed the ice plant on the ocean side of the creek..they covered it with plastic and smothered it...then they planted these natives which haven't weathered so well...the ice plant doesn't need much water and it a soil stabilizer...the natives haven't spread out and you can see the erosion of the banks...and the creeks are full of seaweed after the recent storms...

ice plant is perfect for beach parks...a good, hardy ground cover

 

the folks at Channel Islands Restoration have heads  full of seaweed!

Gilligan's Island

five passengers set sail that day for a three hour ..a three hour tour!
 

 

I went into Santa Barbara..I had some unfinished business with the  Catholic church...geez, welcome to the modern times church people....it seems some in the clergy are upset with my interpretation of Ash Wednesday... I always thought it was Ass Wednesday for there's nothing quite like a nice piece of Ass, eh preacher?? well they smudged my forehead but I immediately washed it off... and actually I have no real record that I was ever baptized...maybe they missed me...I just assumed I was Catholic with all the long black veils and forced confessions in my youth....yes I'm guilty of everything you think I am, if it makes you feel any better..Lordy, sometimes it seems my Catholic friends have lost their sense of yuma!!

 

I walked around Santa Barbara and some odd images appeared....up by Sothby's, the fountain was running and atop the building was a thing shaped like an artichoke... I saw Mary Magdalene in a window times ten! Oh , Magdalena!! your love is like a razor....

nothing like a saint, you are

 

then I headed down to the soothing ocean..the ocean of life....the aftermath of the storm was evident....the Minnow was grounded....the tide was high and wow it looks like the storm took a big chunk of beach out...almost up to the bikepath! exposed were some wooden posts by the ice plant..never seen those before...

so I get home and read the News-Press and there's Lanny Ebenstein singing the praises of city colleges...SBCC and Allen Hancock...it wasn't long ago that Lanny was trying to get SBCC decertified or sumthin because Marty Blum was on the board and Wendy hates Marty..but now Lanny loves SBCC and blah blah blah ..then he says Allen Hancock college in Santa Maria has a winemaking program...WTF? will beer making be next? how about growing pot..will there be classes on that, too...

I wouldn't be a bit surprised, little buddy

I Can't Help Falling in Love with You

like the river flows, surely to the sea, darling so it goes, some things are meant to be...

well, what planet am I on?? often I wonder...so I 'm reading CASA mag and there's always some social event for gals and the girlies in the make-up and the Sunday suits, they look just like a doll, celebrating their womanhood...or the little girl inside

hey I got no problem with that... I like little girls and tough chicks...but you know who I never see at these functions? Wendy!! I bet she is seething in her Ivory Tower because nobody invites her...

now one event in particular caught my eye: the Seventh Annual International Women's Festival at Earl Warren Showgrounds, March 7-9...Fri Sat and Sun...one of this year's presenters and honorees is...Kelly LeBrock!! yes that Kelly LeBrock..she is the 2014 Gutsy Gals Inspire Me* celebrity honoree...the honoree must have shown some gutsiness, personal innovation, healthy risk taking and wave making courage...a gutsy gal!!

Wise men say only fools rush in / But I can't help falling in love with you

so, um..well ok except for the DUI issue which Kelly says will never happen again..ok I'll take her word for it and hope any future gutsy risk-taking will indeed be more health conscious....

Kelly, can you risk falling in love with me???

hmmmm, I do have some time on my hands this weekend and I may just check out all these slutsy-gutsy gals....this could be a carnal jackpot...congress is in session babay!! horizontal hula time!!

take my hand...take my whole life too.....

Stormy Monday

Tuesday's just as bad....

even though I was out enjoying the stormy weather, I still have to keep up my efforts as watchdog of the private sector, esp the faux-Christians what with all their bogeymen out to get them

 

so when the News-Press puppets like Christian crusader Andy Caldwell try to denounce the Teachers' Union, they usually have only a few red herrings they throw out... like the union is self-serving and is full of child molesters..well you could say the same thing about the Catholic Church couldn't ya? of course, only the church tried to protect its pedophiles, the Teachers' Union simply wants them to have some benefits...

but really look at Andy's sponsors on his nonprofit radio show: the Chumash casino...google Indian child abuse and be prepared for some pretty sick stuff...

have the aliens finally landed, Craig?

 

ok see I see that Gov Moonbeam is running again...good..after the voters inexplicably voted for Arnold two terms, it's taken Gov Brown one term to clean up Arnold's mess..and the voters' mess..Arnold was too busy demonizing the nurses and teachers and holding hands with his girlfriend Rob Lowe to be taken seriously as governor of the great state of California...

then I'm driving through Montecito Village and see two construction projects....Craig McCaw's ex-Peabody's restaurant and the old Turk Hesselund nursery property....geez, Craig's project has been covered with a green tarp for two years with no progress at all!

 

the nursery is morphing into mixed use condos and shops and looks to be almost done..in less than three months!!

so why is Craig McCaw dragging his heels? why can't he finish his restaurant? who can he blame? well if he's like Wendy, he can blame the gov't and the unions..or if he's a man... a real man, he can blame himself...

but we're talking about a guy who thinks whales are alien beings of higher intelligence

says Craig: The orcas swim in space that we don't very well understand and of course in outer space we will face some day the moral dilemma of how to deal with aliens who land on earth, perhaps, if in fact what people believe is true- and we will have the same moral dilemma in exchanging people or creatures back and forth with them for understanding.

Your heart and mind working together can accomplish nearly anything. Several hearts and minds working together are unstoppable." - Craig McCaw


except maybe remodeling a little restaurant on Coast Village Road....

let it rain

let it rain rain rain.....

　
Mother Nature lights up the Light Blue Line!!

well yeah...I can dig it..the rainy sea sounded like music...a beautiful mournful lonesome moody song....

 

Saturday morning at Santa Claus beach was awesome..I've never seen the beach so violent and beautiful...the huge waves were crashing, the wind was blowing and the rain was falling....the tide chased me all the way back to the rocks, close to the railroad tracks and I chased her back into the sea....

 

Santa Barbara was hit with huge tides and waves surging ...some even made it to the light blue line!! these weren't rogue waves, there's no sucha thing...you can't attribute a human trait to a wave...these waves were bullies... whoa Nelly!!

 

hey,  Mayor Helene predicted this rise in ocean levels so maybe she is really Madame Rosinka???

in the middle of the road

you see the darndest things....

ok students, let's take look at Regent University, which gets another thumbs up from the Young Miss America Foundation....

"Christian Leadership to Change the World," Regent's motto since its founding, motivates its resolve to offer unparalleled opportunities. The Governor of Virginia, Bob McDonnell, and thousands of other alumni got their start at Regent University.

The Ronald Reagan Symposium, held each year in conjunction with the former president's birthday, features nationally and internationally known scholars, including Harvey Mansfield (Harvard), William Kristol (Weekly Standard), Michael Barone (Washington Examiner and FOXNews), Jean Bethke Elshtain (Chicago), and George Nash (The Russell Kirk Center). Reagan Symposium topics have included "The Future of Conservatism" and "The Future of American Culture."

now I see that Regent's is in Virginia and Gov Bob McDonnell is among the alumni...

Bob McDonnell is under investigation for public corruption...and while he was Gov, wanted women to undergo a trans-vaginal ultrasound test if they were considering abortion...WTF is the gov't doing in this issue??

now Virginia could be the weirdest state of the union..I've been there and it's beautiful..one night we were traveling under the bright moon up an old country road... and there were a bunch of little dead animals every mile or so on the side of the road and we hit our share..thud..thud thud....the little carcasses cast spooky shadows under the trees.. I'll never forget those images..the little animals looked like armadillos! but could have been the infamous Virginia possum...

and Virginia pussy? well, like the song says "almost heaven, West Virginia"

but wait a minute... I see they gov't runs the liquor industry!!??

Ever since the end of prohibition in 1934, to buy a bottle of Kentucky bourbon in the state of Virginia, you've had to go to a government-run ABC (Alcoholic Beverage Control) store. Republican Governor Bob McDonnell is trying to privitize but is running into opposition in the legislature, because the state liquor monopoly is an important source of government revenue. (Just like in Soviet Russia!) The state makes at least $230m a year from the ABC stores, $110m from taxes and $120m in profit.

In other words, the government monopoly on liquor sales in Virginia can be seen as the tail-end of a harm-reduction strategy towards alcohol abuse instituted 75 years ago, after people realised prohibition wasn't working.

well I think this is a brilliant idea and Virginia should be applauded for it....ABC stores in California.....hmmmmmm...oh I like it too much...

now students, instead of being force fed a crazy conservative agenda, you might consider Wesleyan College in Virginia

http://www.vwc.edu/about-us/diversity.php

you'll get a much better education and you won't end up like Bob McDonnell!!