the Haunting...

of the Holy Trinity.....

My name is Dr. Mick Von Caw and along with my assistant, Professor Lanny Von Ebenfrankenstein, am conducting an experiment on pararnormal experiences by Santa Barbarans who get too close to tall buildings...the overall effect has been a shared fixation to chop the tops off buildings over 40 feet high...why? we asked some folks that very question..why?
some of the responses were recorded: "well, there's strange things that happen beyond 40 ft"..."up there, things get a little crazy"..."I'd rather not discuss it".."there's nobody under 5ft 8inches who doesn't understand the implications of 60 ft buildings"..."I'm tired of looking up all the time".."ever since 9/11, I don't like tall buildings".."the well- being of my family depends on short buildings".. "our heritage is short buildings"...
ok ok I got it..geez. Lanny and I head over to a little 15 ft high restaurant on State St to get something to eat when in walks two other members of the group studying this building height phenomenon: Sheila Lodge and Mike Self, are they allegedly lesbian lovers or just "sisters"? Sheila looks possessed by a demon! Mike just keeps repeating campaign slogans...I tell them both to leave us alone while we're eating and I don't wanna puke my breakfast because these old gals gimme the blues...and to add to my deteriorating mood, in walks Kellam De Forest, the head of the Pearl Chase Society..I've watched this old dude at city council meetings and I got two words for you, pal: rest home. I finished eating and told Professor Von Ebenfrankenstein to find another lackey..I told him I was tired of all these ad hominem attacks on tall buildings and big things..I stepped out onto State St, headed for the Trinity church, the cool October wind licking my neck when all of a sudden a strange, yet beautiful woman grabbed my arm....
under the orange colored skies...

PETA tries to shock me??

well...your mother sucks cocks in hell!!!

..a new pet store opens in Carpinteria...PETA comes into Santa Barbara and tries to shock people into going vegan..they do this by showing a bloody dead person packaged up like chicken thighs at the meat counter...blood doesn't frighten me..have you ever had sex with a woman on her period..well I have and lemme tell ya..well.... I can't possibly explain it so you'll just have to find out for yourself...but it made me a braver person...

and then there's the story of the woman in Philly who advertised on Craig'slist for World Series tickets..she said she'd perform sex acts for tickets! Susan Finklestein is her name and she's not ugly, so if I had tickets and some extra time on my hands, would I do it? hmmmm...
Peta used to be a respected animal abuse organization..we should all watch out for animal abuse. However, there is a distinction between abuse and harvesting animals for food..an unrealized goal for me, besides going to Arizona to die in sweat hut, is to have sex with a few PETA girls...I'll have 'em eating meat in no time!
besides, PETA can be rather hypocritical at times: Animal lovers worldwide now have access to more than a decade’s worth of proof that People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) kills thousands of defenseless pets at its Norfolk, Virginia headquarters. Since 1998, PETA has opted to "put down" 21,339 adoptable dogs, cats, puppies, and kittens instead of finding homes for them.
PETA’s "Animal Record" report for 2008, filed with the Virginia Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services, shows that the animal rights group killed 95 percent of the dogs and cats in its care last year. During all of 2008, PETA found adoptive homes for just seven pets.
save the bears!!

my Santa Barbara...

I accept the Nobel Peace Prize...

these are the folks I wanna see in SB from now on..no more pretty boys and girls, no more mama's boys, no more trust funders, no more white punks on dope, no more old eaters-of-fish- eggs!!
..these..the real..the salt of the earth... such as Daisy and Violet Hilton the Siamese Twins, Schlitze the Pinhead Girl, Josephine Joseph the Half-Woman/Half-Man, Johnny Eck the Half Boy, Frances O'Connor the Turtle Girl, Peter Robinson the Living Human Skeleton, Olga Roderick the Bearded Lady, Koo Koo the Bird Girl..(hey how'd Wendy get in here???)
Martha Morris the Armless Wonder, and Randion the Living Torso (who rolls his own cigarettes despite having neither arms nor legs). However, this blog clearly portrays the "freaks" with dignity. As Madame Tetrallini (Rose Dione) tells someone, "These are all God's children." The true monsters according to this blog here, are the "normal" human beings, who will receive their just desserts (castration)!
and no more bigotry!!! "For the love of beauty is a deep-seated urge which dates back to the beginning of civilization"
Let's get jiggy friendly with "fringe" people.. from hoboes to sideshow tramps, let's find beauty not only in the physically whole, powerful, conventionally attractive characters like me and Olga Baclanova’s Cleopatra or Henry Victor’s Hercules, but in the authentic pinheads, armless women, legless men, Siamese twins, and the others who live in Santa Barbara...
let's live the peace we seek!!!

charity begins at home...

nonprofits redistribute wealth! they are socialists! commies! pinkos! anti-capitalists!
In a never ending quest to expose nonprofits for the tax-evading lazy scoundrels that they are (mostly), I hereby declare that California should drop all tax exemptions for so-called "non-profits and religious" institutions, the money gained would EXACTLY be enough to balance the books! The Santa Barbara City Council race has a few candidates who collect cash through their nonprofits...fucking nonprofit whores, that's what they are..don't you dare vote for them..instead tell them to get off their fat asses and go work for a living instead of asking for more donations!!
　
REAL TAX REFORM!!!NOW!! TAX NONPROFITS!! CHURCHES!! KILL NONPROFITS!!
hey, I got me an idea..let's throw a Tea Party...naaaah...I don't want those genetic flops anywhere near me!! But, dadburnit, I'm sick of these little wussies hiding behind nonprofits so they don't have to work and sweat for a living....
Make all those parasites pay their own way for a change instead of sponging off us single taxpayers
Lets include charities, religions, especially the Jewish religion they should pay us for protecting,arming, and enriching Israel, and politicians in that group!! Politicians live off the backs of the people so we should tax them higher than any other group!! As for religions it is time they paid their fair share instead of chasing little boys!! They couldn't keep their mouths shut when it came to politics so they should be taxed also they no longer take care of the poor as the government does it now!!! They spend most of their money fighting law suits now!!

Many churches spend an incredible amount of money on buildings, cars, trips, and special expenses like paying off victims families. Just enough makes it to the poor to say that they are a charity. It would be much more efficient to make them pay taxes and provide the services directly from the government without skimming cash to pay off pedophile victims.
nonprofits no more! pass it on...

fingering the dog...

you need to separate your feelings....

so your dog has separation anxiety according to the Independent; maybe your cat is neurotic, what cat isn't? Pedro Nada spends all his time writing more laws to protect animals, Obamas czar Cass Sunstein owes Americans an honest appraisal of his animal rights agenda as America's top regulator and he thinks animals should be able to sue you..I saw a frog last nite outside on my wall..normally this is a good sign because frogs are falling victim to the county poisoning creeks to kill invasive plants..so anytime a frog wants to hang out in my garden, he is welcome! Now, Obama is starting to piss me off...anyone who gets outsmarted by Glenn Beck is a worry to me...and this frog....was he just climbing a wall or casing my place for a possible lawsuit..maybe I got dangerous walls?? I doubt it..frogs don't need much..just some swamp water and insects..just part of the natural cycle and food chain..but dogs with separation anxiety..now where do they fit in? Dogs are pack animals..happiest around groups..when they become a pampered pet, or you paint them different colors to win a contest, the poor pooch loses all wild instincts and becomes sick because you make him sick...and if you paint your dog you make me sick, too!
Dogs can't get separation anxiety any more than a cow can get depressed over losing a job...so what is the source of these irrational feelings for and about animals? Why is old bald Mex Pedro Nada trying so hard to impress #86? #69 I can understand, but #86?
Well, I traced it all back to one inane song called "Muskrat Love" by the Cap't and Tenille..look at this shit!! singalong if you want!
Muskrat, Muskrat, candle light Doin' the town and doin' it right in the evenin' It's pretty pleasin'

Muskrat Suzie, Muskrat Sam Do the jitterbug at a Muskrat Land

And they shimmy, Sam is so skinny

And they whirl and they twirl and they tango Singin' and jinglin' a jangle Float like the heavens above ...Looks like Muskrat Love
Nibblin' on bacon Chewin' on cheese Sam says to Suzie Honey, would you please be my Mrs

Suzie says, yes, with her kisses Now, he's ticklin' her fancy Rubbin' her toes Muzzle to muzzle Now anything goes as they wriggle Sue starts to giggle

And they whirled and they twirled and they tango

Singin' and jinglin' a jangle Floatin' like the heavens above Looks like muskrat love
for the last time...
there is no such a thing as muskrat love!!!
　

Surf's Up...

down and out in Santa Barbara...

is Kathy Ireland responsible for all these dikweeds moving to Santa Barbara? Kathy is cute and all, but kind of an airhead...did she clear the path for others to move here rendering Santa Barbara land of the monads??
look at the problem: we've had real celebs here since the 1960s...celebs who never flaunted it, just wanted to be left alone like the funny farm gal Ralph from Green Acres lived in the Montecito Upper Village by Manning Park...Mr. Cool Robert Mitchum lived a few streets away by the San Ysidro Ranch before Ty Beanie Warner bought everything...that's my point..look at these new celeb people..they are molecules: Ty Warner, Wendy McCaw, Dennis Miller, Elaine from Seinfeld, Rob Lowe, Arnold, Dr. Laura...wait..I'm puking right now..ok done...Andy Granatelli, Randall Van Wolkfswinkel, Christian fanatics Patricia and John Klink who just lost properties on Mountain Drive and on Fernald's Point/ Sharks beach to you history buffs, because they couldn't repay their $22 million dollar debts....
ohhhh, Sharks was cool...we'd surf there as kids, cut school to surf, grab our big OWL boards and hide them in the bushes, sneak to the beach through the yards on Fernald Point..the homeowners didn't mind back then... build a nice big fire on a foggy day, using driftwood, by the old cottages...isn't it good, Norweigan Wood!
owl
Interest rates will go higher. At its next meeting in February, the Federal Reserve Board may raise rates a full percentage point, says Patricia Klink, president of Advisers Capital Management, a firm that invests pension money in bonds and other fixed-interest securities. Lesson: If you have people like Patty investing your pension, you'll be working until you're 90!
　
Kathy Ireland's Shocking Weight Gain (and Loss)
As a top model, Kathy Ireland is used to seeing pictures of herself that have been retouched to hide her flaws. But when the former Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue cover girl saw a photo taken by her son as she baked cookies at the family's Santa Barbara house recently, the raw image took her breath away. "He said 'Mom, you look pregnant,' " Ireland tells PEOPLE in its latest issue. "I didn't recognize the person I saw. I saw someone who looked overwhelmed, overstressed, overweight, over-everything." In her latest book, Real Solutions for Busy Moms. Ireland talks about how mothers tend to put everybody else's needs before their own. Case in point: she had put on 25 lbs. without even really realizing it. kathy

and uh, oh well..nevermind....
I'm goin' surfin'.........

9/11

the Heroes Remain
heroes

America..there's tears in our eyes
from that day in September, New York
when terror filled our skies..
through the darkness and light
through the tears and the pain..
through the hell of it all..the heroes remain

America..now the anger fills our heart
and how we will not rest
until we finish what they started...
through the darkness there's light
through the tears and the pain..
through the hell of it all..the heroes remain

America..there's tears in our eyes
from that day in September, New York
when terror filled our skies..
through the darkness there's light
through the tears and the pain..
through the hell of it all..the heroes remain
recorded as a tribute shortly after 9/11 2001....