Friday, October 24, 2014

Rock Me On the Water

I'll get down to the sea somehow

well I have to admit, the News-Press is getting a little boring now....what's to cover anymore....Wendy's beat and she knows it...

she is isolated, surrounding herself with money, drunks and donkeys...Wendy likes to call her paper a gov't watchdog, but I've never seen her a one public hearing at City Hall..why? because she's a snob...her paper is anorexic, she had child porn on her computer (STILL WAITING FOR JUSTICE), her endorsements mean nothing, Scott Steepleton is doing cocktail stories, who knows where Nipper is...even the society girls are gone....the old guard should have left a long time ago....the interns are merely providing sexual favors for a chance to do a "story"....jokers

now I don't go looking for trouble but sometimes trouble finds me..or we bump into each other on the street..or something

so why should Thursday be any different...I was compelled to go into Santa Barbara and found myself face to face with that big stone church on upper State...there was a homeless dude with a jug, filling it with water from the church spigot..I ask him what he was doing and he screamed at me "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL!!"

cute...just then a little girl comes up to me and says I'm gonna die and pees on the sidewalk...

well all morning the sun was warm and there was a strange shadow cast and then out there I see a big ship and the tourist barricades being set up..either that or it was an EBOLA screening...I didn't stick around to find out...down to 7/11 for coffee and a co-ed was stalking me and I her...she was beautiful..young and strong wearing short shorts with the loveliest legs I've ever seen...we bumped into each other in the store and she says sorry and I say it's ok...oh she's the kind of girl that makes me glad to be a man ....we bump each other again outside and I watch her fevered brow soothed...still, I felt all flushed for a few hours...engorged even

back to the beach...people walking their dog even though No Dogs On Beach signs posted..stupid dog chases shore birds...a chick's walking on the beach talking on her cell phone....

so I hear there's more bear sightings in the Carp foothills so I went to visit a friend on the ranch and sure enough, a bear was in her pool...coolin' off

then of course perfect for Halloween is an eclipse..a partial solar eclipse...

blood moons, eclipses, super high tides, and pretty girls...this is turning out to be the best Halloween season ever!

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Little Sister

don't you do what your big sister done...

the saddest thing in all this world is a human wreck,- a man or a woman, young or old, who is undone and who, in one or more walks of life, is a failure.

there are so many of them! Mental wrecks, physical wrecks, nervous wrecks, social wrecks, business wrecks, character wrecks.

the causes of human wrecks are many. In a sentence they result from the principle that it is easier to coast than to climb; so much easier to float than to struggle against the current.

Intemperence and impurity are the two bars upon which most human wrecks have stranded.

Social impurity, or the abuse of the sex function and nature, is by far the most insidious, and with respect to the number and degradation of its victims, the greatest evil in the world to-day..

yes means yes- advice to girls

Dear Doctor: Like most children, I began quite early in childhood to ask about my origin, and received answers that were falsehoods. I do not remember just what I was first told, but the replies given did not satisfy my enquiring mind. I eagerly listened to the vulgar stories of servants and schoolmates and before I was tweleve, my mind was taken up with lascivious thoughts and vulgar expressions.

Two months later, I was taught how to practice that awful habit, the secret sin. I became a slave to it. I could not stop. In the spring after I was fourteen, I was converted. Again I tried, oh so hard, to quit this habit, but I could not. This sin is troubling me and I can't get rid of it...please advise

Dear Friend: Your trouble began with false training in childhood. If you had been taught the sacredness of the sexual organs and their functions, your mind would have been safeguarded against this vice. Instead, you received the very opposite information. Half-truths, clothed in vulgar language, received from the ignorant and vicious, lead naturally to a morbid interest in matters of sex and consequently to a habit of lascivious thinking. The inflamed and gorged condition, due to this rush of blood to these parts, results in frequent experiences of sex consciousness and passion. This leads very naturally to the handling of sex organs...

There are several things that will help you. When you are tempted to entertain impure thoughts or to practice the sin, engage your mind in something else. Pray, read the Bible or some good book, write a letter to mamma or some friend, perform some duty or take a walk, anything that will take your mind from the temptation, Refuse to handle these organs except to keep them clean. Bathing the parts in cold water tends to allay passion.

If you have in your possession any suggestive pictures or questionable literature, destroy them. Cultivate the habit of looking upon every young man as you would upon your brother or father..

if I can be of any help to you in the future, write me...(wink wink)

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Fortune Teller

I went to the Fortune Teller, to get my fortune read

well I went into Santa Barbara to get my fortune told...I remember Madame Rosinka but she must be 100 years old by now so I opted for Dollyia...Palm and Card Reader on Milpas..yeah credit card reader... HAHAHaaa!!

but I went in and well Helloooo Dollyia...what a peach!! found out some things that are gonna happen in the future that none of you could deal with.... I guess that's why they picked me....but ok Dollyia, if it happens it happens...

next I go to Trader Joe's and wish they would open one in Carp somewhere...this small town thing is getting a bit tiresome...I need some action!!! some variety..some spicegirls

next I smell something foul and go to the Bird Refuge...I see the water looks really funky...pale yellow brown with caked SLUDGE at the banks..and it's gassing's a cesspool..overpowering me knocking me to the ground..a little dog came over and lifted his leg and pissed on me.. I guess I deserved it

I see a new sign that says Wildlife Enhancement Area...I chuckle...the City Parks tore out all the plants deemed non-native and put down bark everywhere....wood chips....they got a little green area cordoned- native plants with their own irrigation system..

I've said it before that this project should be a shining example of human stupidity....since they won't return the refuge to a marsh, at least the drought is causing the polluted water to evaporate...that's right..the Bird Refuge is full of polluted water because they City of SB doesn't know how to fix it...

so they pull the established marsh plants out, cover the ground with wood chips, over-irrigate native plants in a drought, and put up fancy new signs.....

how is this supposed to stop the stench??? really, how??

Monday, October 20, 2014

Long Ago and Far Away

slowly passing sailing ships, and Sunday afternoons

wow! a Santa Barbara Festival that doesn't feature booze as the main attraction! and the first Annual Lobster Boil that doesn't even mention 'fine wine'.... how refreshing.....

first the Lobster Boil...a benefit for Washington Elementary school on the Mesa.....Santa Barbara, Calif. — Washington School on the Mesa is hosting its 1st annual Lobster Boil on November 8, 2014 at 5:30 pm at the Santa Barbara Yacht Club.

I'm down with that...and no designated drivers needed!! awesome

then I'm surfing online and I see the Surf Festival and Swap meet, Oct 26 at Leadbetter Beach parking lot...

surfing is great recreation...taking drugs is not recreation so recreational use of pot is nonsense..get a grip are on my radar!!

but this ain't about's about people who love the outdoors and can you not when you live here...the beach- the mountains- the broads...

so go to the swap meet and and look at all the cool surf boards and girls with fit tan bodies and asses- contrast that with the Carp Surf and Suds Beer Fest with fat girls and the tattoed beer guys are little trolls with little troll beards...who spawned these dudes? they look like they came from some bad seeds...

defective offspring from alcoholics: children born into these conditions cannot receive a good heredity. The children of drunken parents nearly always receive a bad heredity.

In the avergage drunkard's home, the wife is deprived of much or all that would be conducive to the maternal condition such as good nutrition, good associations, freedom and cheerfulness, and proper attention and courtesy of her husband

see? we can't have these alcohol themed festivals anymore...good clean fun is where it's at..

and the Lobster Boil and Leadbetter Surf Festival and Swap meet are where it's at!

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Life In The Fast Lane

surely make you lose your mind....

so I mentioned that News-Press owner Wendy McCuckoo and DA Joyce may be involved else do you explain the front page story about the Laguna Blanca sex case?

Joyce is  feeding Wendy privy info saying she (Joyce) didn't find Laguna did anything wrong...supposedly a student named Jane Doe reported to a teacher she was sexually molested and sued the school for not telling the police...sorry honey but that's not how the real world operates....nevertheless, Jane's lawyer Josh Lynn, an arch-enemy of DA Joyce, will pursue a civil lawsuit on behalf of Janey...even Josh's pothead friends have a civil case against Joyce! my advice to Jane is if you get raped, just sit back and enjoy it....unless the guy kills you like in Va...a former student at Jerry Falwell's Liberty University was accused of's the same guy they arrested for killing Hannah Graham a U Va student...Liberty expelled him instead of investigating or arresting him...Liberty is one of the conservative religious schools touted by Wendy's Young Miss America Foundation...

well one good thing about Measure P so far..the oil prices are going down faster than a prairie fire with a tail wind

white trash!

also on the front page of the News-Press are the freak methheads who crashed into a gated community....good pictures! let's legalize drugs for these fine citizens...geez white trash to the max!! casino methheads...  I wonder if the police were too rough on them and they'll sue for civil ights violations and the conservative press will back them up...

that bald-headed chick looks like she’s been chewed up, spit out, and stepped on

I've been to Florida and it's a great state..really pretty but it's hot....they got boats and the ocean and alligator swamps and the big Florida Everglades....
so I like to think that despite electing Rick Scott for governor most Floridians are still awesome...sure they got conservatives now..the weird ones...

and when I watched the Florida governor's debate between Rick Scott and Charlie Crist, I was further perplexed how Scott got elected last time....the debate turned into fangate because Scott refused to come out on stage because Crist had a little fan at his podium..again Florida is hot...but Rick Scott refused to step foot on stage... so for seven minutes he  wasted time refusing to debate unless the fan was removed... Crist stood there alone on stage, cracking a few jokes...

apparently fans are not allowed at the debates because they make "whirring" sounds...

so Scott finally came out and the debate started and boy does this guy creep me out...bald headed Aryan freak......Scott is the guy who owns a drug testing company and wanted to test public employees for drugs..well someone should test him for drugs because he's obviously whacked out on something....

I'm pulling for ya, Florida!

Saturday, October 18, 2014

cruisin' for bruisin'

my baby....

breaking from FOX NEWS!!! Cruise Ships carrying EBOLA what about all those Princess cruiseliners anchored in Santa Barbara?? the ones that actor and cop lover Frank Hotchkiss invited in to make more money for the city??

all those tourists and winetasters coming ashore spreading EBOLA to the citizens!!! is that fair???

no it's not..and with the homeless and Mexican cleansing by folks like the Milpas Association and rightwingers, your immunity to the EBOLA virus is lessened...if the homeless folks and Mex were just left alone to spread their diseases to us, we would eventually build up an immunity to the Sewage Syndrome...if you work in a sewer plant you never get sick because you've built up a bullet-proof immune system...

same thing with zoo workers...and hookers

ok so I see VP Biden's soldier boy son was discharged from the Navy for cocaine use...geez, what a wimp bringing shame to the uniform like Dr. Laura's son did

next I see guy in Lompoc smashes into the back of a school bus full of kids...he was arrested for DUI...the kids weren't hurt...Noozhawk released the CHP record without actually doing any reporting

a google search gets me the ALLEGED drunk driver may be a part of the Lompoc American Legion....American Legion is an organization of U.S. war veterans formed in Paris on March 15-17, 1919, by delegates from all units of the American Expeditionary Forces...

sounds cool but driving drunk and crashing into a school bus full of kids kinda shames the uniform, too....

it seems some of these American Legion guys are heavy into alcohol...and drunk driving....

check this out:

SHELBY, Ohio - An Ohio bartender said she was fired after she called police about a drunken driver.

Twyla DeVito said she was proud to work at the American Legion Post in Shelby.
"They do a lot of good for this community, for our veterans," DeVito said.

But her tenure tending bar here came to an abrupt end last week.

"I came into work, he was already there, pretty much hammered," she said.
He was a regular at her bar, and also an officer at the Legion Post.
"He ordered a beer, I gave it to him, and then I started to try to slow it down, serving him."
She said when he went to leave, she knew he wasn't in any shape to drive.

"I called the police and said we have a very drunk person leaving the bar. He is going to kill someone or himself," DeVito said.

Shelby Police Chief Charlie Roub said one of his officers quickly located the driver, and came to the same conclusion DeVito did.

According to the police report, Mike Ramey blew a .167.
Ramey was arrested, charged with OVI. Two days later, DeVito got a call from her boss.
"He said ‘I'm gonna have to fire you, because it's bad for business to have a bartender that will call the cops,'" DeVito said.

The commander of this post wouldn't answer our questions on camera, but told us while DeVito probably did the right thing morally, she didn't do the right thing for his business.
DeVito said she did what she felt she had to, and she's glad her job was the only thing lost.
"I stand by what I did. And I would do it again," she said.

fired for calling the cops on a drunk driver..a drunk officer at the Legion these American Legion Posts are nonprofits and they serve veterans..apparently they serve them lots of Legionnaire's Disease another name for alcoholism?
Legionnaires' disease acquired its name in July 1976, when an outbreak of pneumonia occurred among people attending a convention of the American Legion at the Bellevue-Stratford Hotel in Philadelphia. Of the 182 reported cases, mostly men, 29 died. On January 18, 1977, the causative agent was identified as a previously unknown strain of bacteria, subsequently named Legionella, and the species that caused the outbreak was named Legionella pneumophila

I remember the Legionnaire's disease and the media hype...the Ebola hype is worse because of the blacks.....

but crashing into a bus full of kids while DUI is just..well..the new normal

Friday, October 17, 2014

here, there and everywhere

changing my life with a wave of her hand

so we got Sara Miller McCune vs Mayor Schneider....that's cool..the old rich lady versus the young Santa Barbara mayor..

I once thought Sara would buy the News-Press from Wendy and return it to glory..but instead we got Sara's venture, Mission and State,  a lame attempt to mix non-profits, for-profits and journalism...and I lost faith...Sara was just another clueless old rich bitch with white cotton candy old lady hair and a little dog in her lap all the time...a little lap dog that bears a striking resemblance to its owner....very annoying

now the fuss is over Caltrans and the widening project through Montecito...Mayor Helene suppports a lawsuit that wants to delay it more due to Caltrans many mistakes and Sara Miller McCune wants the project to proceed post haste...Sara even wrote a letter to the social media blasting Helene and telling her what to recuse herself from critical discussions...Helene says "no way don't tell me what to do!"

from what I can gather Helene is from New York and you tell New York girls what to do...

ok so the deal is by the time CALTRANS finishes the highway project, Sara will be dead, so maybe that's why she's so anxious...I don't feel there's a need to widen the 101 frm Carp to Santa's only about a ten mile stretch and it's a gorgeous vista...CALTRANS will fuck it up with sound walls and more cement than you can shake a stick at...a sound wall in Summerland? and Montecito..and a six lane highway? so people can get from here to there a little quicker at certain times of the day..usually the morning..

I live by the highway in Carp and don't see the need for all this development.. I don't want a sound wall..I like to see the cars and motorcycles and the trains...and the ocean and the marsh...the traffic pattern is quite clear...traffic flows nicely 98% of the slows down in the mornings around 8 o'clock for about an 30 only stops when some drunk crashes....and let's face it..there's simply too many people in California so what do they expect, things are gonna get crowded! look at LA...they got eight lane highways that slow to a crawl everyday!

I heard CALTRANS killed the Ventura Highway vibe with the walls and bike path barriers...too bad, that was a real nice drive...besides it already had a three-laner after La Conchita...leave it to CALTRANS to fuck it up..I'll check it out soon as soon as they stop breathing down my neck...

I've heard that CALTRANs is due to start the ill-fated project in 2018 and finish by 2027..fora ten mile stretch of's absurd...what they should do is leave the highway from Carp thru Montecito a four laner...designate it a scenic route..

and when you're traveling 20 miles an hour at 8:30 am, northbound, over the hill in Summerland, just gaze out over the ocean and Shark's Beach...

and you'll see what I mean