Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Time Has Come Today

I've been crushed by the tumbling tide (Time) And my soul has been psychedelicized (Time) (Time) Now the time has come (Time) There are things to realize



so I've noticed lately that more butterflies are flying past my window than I've ever seen....they're over by the Salt Marsh and are moving south to north...these are the Monarchs...the orange I'm thinking they are migrating for the winter and being so hot and dry here, they are coming in droves......a butterfly winged goddess stops midflight and winks at me..

so I hop on my bike and follow her up the road a piece said "hey" to the muleskinner guy...I get to the beach and then I see a bunch more butterflies whipping around in a frenzy...then I see a big eucalyptus tree by the roadside and look up and freak out...hundreds! a big cluster of butterflies attached to the leaves...some were bright orange and the ones that were roosting for awhile were paler orange and hard to spot...

but after a while my eyes adjusted and it was awesome!! like the Coronado Monarch Preserve in Goleta

I may have just discovered a new roosting site.. a new memories of the city, following me everywhere I go

but I gotta be extra vigilant in case the Center for Biological Diversity gets wind of this find...and then they get a native bug up their ass and try to chop down the eucalyptus..a big beautiful blue gum...or the nuts at the Santa Barbara Botanic Beer Garden...

any attempts to remove the eucs around here??

well, they're gonna have to get past me first

Tuesday, October 28, 2014


Daniel is traveling tonight on a plane, I can see the red tail lights, heading for Spain...

well I haven't been to the Court House in awhile, so let's catch up on the cases...

Joanne Baldwin and Daniel Baldwin..Colleen K Sterne SB5 1) Req for Order:CC/CS; /SS/Attny Fees/ Req for Move to England with Minor Children Family Law-SB
the Baldwin Bros are always in some sort of fix ...Stephen with his tax issues and Jesus Daniel who stars on the funny show, World's Dumbest...

I thought he was married to that Chyna chick, who turned all religious.. I hate that!! girls you used to know find Jesus and next thing you know it's God Bless this and God Bless that! very annoying!! oh that was Billy Baldwin...

I wish these guys would go away...but anyway Daniel married a British model and now the bird wants to go back to England I guess...both had some alcohol/coke issues and Joanne was busted for DUI once ...check the gossip-media for all the latest gossip...good luck Daniel, Do you still feel the pain of the scars that won't heal? Your eyes have died but you see more than I, Daniel you're a star

Santa Barbara is so lucky to have all these celebrities! and stay away from drugs and alcohol kids!!!


Tony Denunzio and Linda Denunzio Donna D Geck SB4 1) OSC:Contempt Family Law-SB..

AND 11/06/2014 - 8:30 am 1400266 Tony Vincent Denunzio Probation Viol Hearing Setting Clifford R Anderson SB10 11/06/2014 - 8:30 am 1446079 Tony Vincent Denunzio Preliminary Hearing Setting Clifford R Anderson SB10

GEEZ!!! Tony is in trouble with the civil courts and the criminal courts...thanks to lawyer Dufus, Judge Wu and Judge Rigali for setting Tony free..he spends more time in court than anywhere else..that's my tax money wasted on this jackass!!

9:30 am Kevin Boyle vs TY Warner et al Colleen K Sterne SB5 1) OSC:Fail to Appear; /Sanctions Civil-SB
hmmmm, who was a no-show...Kevin or Ty?? I bet it was shy Ty

8:30 am Jane Doe et al vs Santa Barbara Unified School etc Donna D Geck SB4 1) Case Management

geez, seems Jane is suing the whole darn school district after losing her Laguna sex case...did every teacher in the freaking union have sex with her?? this Jane Doe gal sounds like a real hot tomato!

9:30 am Laguna Blanca School vs Travis XXXXXXX et al ....James E Herman SB6 1) Debtor's Examination; -
well looks like Laguna Blanca is suing now...a vengeance suit perhaps to keep up with the Does!

way too many lawsuits folks...

I want you all to work on your people skills and learn how to get along with each other...

Monday, October 27, 2014

These Days

well I've been out walking...

the No on P campaign keeps calling me and last night a gal named Macy starts in on me and ya know what I did? I said.."Maaaaacy..theese ees Dracula..and I vant to SUCK yor blooood!!" and then I vant to suck yor teets.. I vant to suck them soooo much, you want" ..well, she hangs up quick..geez can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen

the surf was being Sunday I figured what an opportunity to get saved....a baptism at the I went to Santa Claus beach and it was nice....warm, huge waves, awesome chicks sunning, removing clothes while I snapped pictures..then the sneaker waves came up and I just had to go in the water...surfers out there too....big water all the way up to the Clark Estate beach...all throughout my range

I changed clothes, the sand was feather-soft...I walked to the water's edge and dove in...the water was cool..just perfect and after a while, almost warm...

instantly I was transformed from a foolish misguided blogger to a man of the cloth....the ocean water cleansed me of any sins accumulated and rendered me free and clean....

there's no way to explain how you feel after a dip in the ocean on a hot know it but it's hard to explain..the salts sooth, the water refreshes...and the sea weed just lies there

the drought looms, we need water but these days are so beautiful it seems nature has something in store..something good...I can't let the days go by without telling them...the sun, the water, the wind, the elements...

as I frolicked in the ocean, I thought about sharks..what if a shark came up and bit me in the ass? well the chances of me getting bit by a shark are the same as me getting ebola..or my head chopped off by ISIS..let the Iraqis fight their own battles, and I'll fight mine..and let the sharks fight theirs

just because the hysterical media clowns hype it all day doesn't mean it's gonna happen....

everything happens by a train

Sunday, October 26, 2014

The Haunting

'No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality...even larks and katydids are supposed, by some, to dream'

I've never seen a bear.. a real live bear..I know they're out there, I've just never seen one...I've seen snow leopards, monkeys, apes, gorillas in the midst, foxes, birds, coyotes but never a real live bear...I figure bears like their privacy to do what they do...roam around the back hills and survive and watch out for their cubs..a noble life

so I went out Friday morning looking for an actual real live bear in Carp..naturally I didn't find one..but I see gas prices is lower than I've seen in years...$3.29 a gallon down from $3.65 last month..why the big drop?? oil companies are fearing Measure P so they drop the price of gas to show what nice guys they are...election is less than two weeks away ..where will they be around Nov 4th? a buck sixty-niner a gallon

"why me?" asks sad Chris

speaking of the election, the conservatives are complaining about the Lois "Killer" Capps ad that depicts opponent aging actor /prominent Republican Chris Mitchum as a sadsack, spooky old fellow with more facial tics than Gilles de la Tourette......or a deer in the Louisiana woods

so again the conservatives blame the wrong person! Jim Buckey over at Montecito Journal calls the ads "despicable"! I think the ads are riotous. Lois didn't do anything but film Chris during a public event...maybe they should offer Chris some help...there's some native natural remedies to tame the tics so I've heard..but whoever gets the most votes wins..that's the way the system works..don't underestimate ol' Lois...if Ty Warner can cheat on his taxes and get away with it, why not Lois??

now over at the booze-rag Independent, Mallory Dies dad is using her death for anti-Capps politics...blaming Lois for killing Mallory via Raymond Morua's drunk driving episode...Matt Dies is all anti-DUI now but where was he before Mallory was killed?? and using Peter Lance's News-Press series to indict Lois is really nuts...or is it?

natural born killers?

"Am I walking toward something I should be running away from?" asks Lois of lover Ray

but Lance is a hack and paranoid conspiracy theorist....he squirmed out of culpability for his own DUI thanks to the pro-alcohol/DUI News-Press....his books are all the same..and Raymond Morua didn't freely take repsonsiblity for his actions as Dufus Genis claims...Morua was forced to take responsiblity...he hit Mallory and ran...he tried to run and get away so he could ESCAPE responsibility but smashed into a tree... he got caught running away...what a dumbshit and the dufus lawyer defending him

so Morua is no hero and any military benefits he has should be removed or given to Mallory's memory.....Lois should be culpable only for hiring a loser, not for killing Mallory...liquor killed her..drinking and driving should be illegal..PERIOD...the DUI Russian Roullette game will blow your head off sooner or later

no matter how many fat lawyers line up to feed, no matter how many conspiracy theories Peter Lance dreams up, there's only one person responsible for the death of Mallory Dies and that person is Raymond Morua

but is drunk driving incidents goin down? I don't know I hope so but now I see lots more meth arrests....

some people, like some houses, are just born bad

Friday, October 24, 2014

Rock Me On the Water

I'll get down to the sea somehow

well I have to admit, the News-Press is getting a little boring now....what's to cover anymore....Wendy's beat and she knows it...

she is isolated, surrounding herself with money, drunks and donkeys...Wendy likes to call her paper a gov't watchdog, but I've never seen her a one public hearing at City Hall..why? because she's a snob...her paper is anorexic, she had child porn on her computer (STILL WAITING FOR JUSTICE), her endorsements mean nothing, Scott Steepleton is doing cocktail stories, who knows where Nipper is...even the society girls are gone....the old guard should have left a long time ago....the interns are merely providing sexual favors for a chance to do a "story"....jokers

now I don't go looking for trouble but sometimes trouble finds me..or we bump into each other on the street..or something

so why should Thursday be any different...I was compelled to go into Santa Barbara and found myself face to face with that big stone church on upper State...there was a homeless dude with a jug, filling it with water from the church spigot..I ask him what he was doing and he screamed at me "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL!!"

cute...just then a little girl comes up to me and says I'm gonna die and pees on the sidewalk...

well all morning the sun was warm and there was a strange shadow cast and then out there I see a big ship and the tourist barricades being set up..either that or it was an EBOLA screening...I didn't stick around to find out...down to 7/11 for coffee and a co-ed was stalking me and I her...she was beautiful..young and strong wearing short shorts with the loveliest legs I've ever seen...we bumped into each other in the store and she says sorry and I say it's ok...oh she's the kind of girl that makes me glad to be a man ....we bump each other again outside and I watch her fevered brow soothed...still, I felt all flushed for a few hours...engorged even

back to the beach...people walking their dog even though No Dogs On Beach signs posted..stupid dog chases shore birds...a chick's walking on the beach talking on her cell phone....

so I hear there's more bear sightings in the Carp foothills so I went to visit a friend on the ranch and sure enough, a bear was in her pool...coolin' off

then of course perfect for Halloween is an eclipse..a partial solar eclipse...

blood moons, eclipses, super high tides, and pretty girls...this is turning out to be the best Halloween season ever!

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Little Sister

don't you do what your big sister done...

the saddest thing in all this world is a human wreck,- a man or a woman, young or old, who is undone and who, in one or more walks of life, is a failure.

there are so many of them! Mental wrecks, physical wrecks, nervous wrecks, social wrecks, business wrecks, character wrecks.

the causes of human wrecks are many. In a sentence they result from the principle that it is easier to coast than to climb; so much easier to float than to struggle against the current.

Intemperence and impurity are the two bars upon which most human wrecks have stranded.

Social impurity, or the abuse of the sex function and nature, is by far the most insidious, and with respect to the number and degradation of its victims, the greatest evil in the world to-day..

yes means yes- advice to girls

Dear Doctor: Like most children, I began quite early in childhood to ask about my origin, and received answers that were falsehoods. I do not remember just what I was first told, but the replies given did not satisfy my enquiring mind. I eagerly listened to the vulgar stories of servants and schoolmates and before I was tweleve, my mind was taken up with lascivious thoughts and vulgar expressions.

Two months later, I was taught how to practice that awful habit, the secret sin. I became a slave to it. I could not stop. In the spring after I was fourteen, I was converted. Again I tried, oh so hard, to quit this habit, but I could not. This sin is troubling me and I can't get rid of it...please advise

Dear Friend: Your trouble began with false training in childhood. If you had been taught the sacredness of the sexual organs and their functions, your mind would have been safeguarded against this vice. Instead, you received the very opposite information. Half-truths, clothed in vulgar language, received from the ignorant and vicious, lead naturally to a morbid interest in matters of sex and consequently to a habit of lascivious thinking. The inflamed and gorged condition, due to this rush of blood to these parts, results in frequent experiences of sex consciousness and passion. This leads very naturally to the handling of sex organs...

There are several things that will help you. When you are tempted to entertain impure thoughts or to practice the sin, engage your mind in something else. Pray, read the Bible or some good book, write a letter to mamma or some friend, perform some duty or take a walk, anything that will take your mind from the temptation, Refuse to handle these organs except to keep them clean. Bathing the parts in cold water tends to allay passion.

If you have in your possession any suggestive pictures or questionable literature, destroy them. Cultivate the habit of looking upon every young man as you would upon your brother or father..

if I can be of any help to you in the future, write me...(wink wink)

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Fortune Teller

I went to the Fortune Teller, to get my fortune read

well I went into Santa Barbara to get my fortune told...I remember Madame Rosinka but she must be 100 years old by now so I opted for Dollyia...Palm and Card Reader on Milpas..yeah credit card reader... HAHAHaaa!!

but I went in and well Helloooo Dollyia...what a peach!! found out some things that are gonna happen in the future that none of you could deal with.... I guess that's why they picked me....but ok Dollyia, if it happens it happens...

next I go to Trader Joe's and wish they would open one in Carp somewhere...this small town thing is getting a bit tiresome...I need some action!!! some variety..some spicegirls

next I smell something foul and go to the Bird Refuge...I see the water looks really funky...pale yellow brown with caked SLUDGE at the banks..and it's gassing's a cesspool..overpowering me knocking me to the ground..a little dog came over and lifted his leg and pissed on me.. I guess I deserved it

I see a new sign that says Wildlife Enhancement Area...I chuckle...the City Parks tore out all the plants deemed non-native and put down bark everywhere....wood chips....they got a little green area cordoned- native plants with their own irrigation system..

I've said it before that this project should be a shining example of human stupidity....since they won't return the refuge to a marsh, at least the drought is causing the polluted water to evaporate...that's right..the Bird Refuge is full of polluted water because they City of SB doesn't know how to fix it...

so they pull the established marsh plants out, cover the ground with wood chips, over-irrigate native plants in a drought, and put up fancy new signs.....

how is this supposed to stop the stench??? really, how??

Monday, October 20, 2014

Long Ago and Far Away

slowly passing sailing ships, and Sunday afternoons

wow! a Santa Barbara Festival that doesn't feature booze as the main attraction! and the first Annual Lobster Boil that doesn't even mention 'fine wine'.... how refreshing.....

first the Lobster Boil...a benefit for Washington Elementary school on the Mesa.....Santa Barbara, Calif. — Washington School on the Mesa is hosting its 1st annual Lobster Boil on November 8, 2014 at 5:30 pm at the Santa Barbara Yacht Club.

I'm down with that...and no designated drivers needed!! awesome

then I'm surfing online and I see the Surf Festival and Swap meet, Oct 26 at Leadbetter Beach parking lot...

surfing is great recreation...taking drugs is not recreation so recreational use of pot is nonsense..get a grip are on my radar!!

but this ain't about's about people who love the outdoors and can you not when you live here...the beach- the mountains- the broads...

so go to the swap meet and and look at all the cool surf boards and girls with fit tan bodies and asses- contrast that with the Carp Surf and Suds Beer Fest with fat girls and the tattoed beer guys are little trolls with little troll beards...who spawned these dudes? they look like they came from some bad seeds...

defective offspring from alcoholics: children born into these conditions cannot receive a good heredity. The children of drunken parents nearly always receive a bad heredity.

In the avergage drunkard's home, the wife is deprived of much or all that would be conducive to the maternal condition such as good nutrition, good associations, freedom and cheerfulness, and proper attention and courtesy of her husband

see? we can't have these alcohol themed festivals anymore...good clean fun is where it's at..

and the Lobster Boil and Leadbetter Surf Festival and Swap meet are where it's at!

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Life In The Fast Lane

surely make you lose your mind....

so I mentioned that News-Press owner Wendy McCuckoo and DA Joyce may be involved else do you explain the front page story about the Laguna Blanca sex case?

Joyce is  feeding Wendy privy info saying she (Joyce) didn't find Laguna did anything wrong...supposedly a student named Jane Doe reported to a teacher she was sexually molested and sued the school for not telling the police...sorry honey but that's not how the real world operates....nevertheless, Jane's lawyer Josh Lynn, an arch-enemy of DA Joyce, will pursue a civil lawsuit on behalf of Janey...even Josh's pothead friends have a civil case against Joyce! my advice to Jane is if you get raped, just sit back and enjoy it....unless the guy kills you like in Va...a former student at Jerry Falwell's Liberty University was accused of's the same guy they arrested for killing Hannah Graham a U Va student...Liberty expelled him instead of investigating or arresting him...Liberty is one of the conservative religious schools touted by Wendy's Young Miss America Foundation...

well one good thing about Measure P so far..the oil prices are going down faster than a prairie fire with a tail wind

white trash!

also on the front page of the News-Press are the freak methheads who crashed into a gated community....good pictures! let's legalize drugs for these fine citizens...geez white trash to the max!! casino methheads...  I wonder if the police were too rough on them and they'll sue for civil ights violations and the conservative press will back them up...

that bald-headed chick looks like she’s been chewed up, spit out, and stepped on

I've been to Florida and it's a great state..really pretty but it's hot....they got boats and the ocean and alligator swamps and the big Florida Everglades....
so I like to think that despite electing Rick Scott for governor most Floridians are still awesome...sure they got conservatives now..the weird ones...

and when I watched the Florida governor's debate between Rick Scott and Charlie Crist, I was further perplexed how Scott got elected last time....the debate turned into fangate because Scott refused to come out on stage because Crist had a little fan at his podium..again Florida is hot...but Rick Scott refused to step foot on stage... so for seven minutes he  wasted time refusing to debate unless the fan was removed... Crist stood there alone on stage, cracking a few jokes...

apparently fans are not allowed at the debates because they make "whirring" sounds...

so Scott finally came out and the debate started and boy does this guy creep me out...bald headed Aryan freak......Scott is the guy who owns a drug testing company and wanted to test public employees for drugs..well someone should test him for drugs because he's obviously whacked out on something....

I'm pulling for ya, Florida!

Saturday, October 18, 2014

cruisin' for bruisin'

my baby....

breaking from FOX NEWS!!! Cruise Ships carrying EBOLA what about all those Princess cruiseliners anchored in Santa Barbara?? the ones that actor and cop lover Frank Hotchkiss invited in to make more money for the city??

all those tourists and winetasters coming ashore spreading EBOLA to the citizens!!! is that fair???

no it's not..and with the homeless and Mexican cleansing by folks like the Milpas Association and rightwingers, your immunity to the EBOLA virus is lessened...if the homeless folks and Mex were just left alone to spread their diseases to us, we would eventually build up an immunity to the Sewage Syndrome...if you work in a sewer plant you never get sick because you've built up a bullet-proof immune system...

same thing with zoo workers...and hookers

ok so I see VP Biden's soldier boy son was discharged from the Navy for cocaine use...geez, what a wimp bringing shame to the uniform like Dr. Laura's son did

next I see guy in Lompoc smashes into the back of a school bus full of kids...he was arrested for DUI...the kids weren't hurt...Noozhawk released the CHP record without actually doing any reporting

a google search gets me the ALLEGED drunk driver may be a part of the Lompoc American Legion....American Legion is an organization of U.S. war veterans formed in Paris on March 15-17, 1919, by delegates from all units of the American Expeditionary Forces...

sounds cool but driving drunk and crashing into a school bus full of kids kinda shames the uniform, too....

it seems some of these American Legion guys are heavy into alcohol...and drunk driving....

check this out:

SHELBY, Ohio - An Ohio bartender said she was fired after she called police about a drunken driver.

Twyla DeVito said she was proud to work at the American Legion Post in Shelby.
"They do a lot of good for this community, for our veterans," DeVito said.

But her tenure tending bar here came to an abrupt end last week.

"I came into work, he was already there, pretty much hammered," she said.
He was a regular at her bar, and also an officer at the Legion Post.
"He ordered a beer, I gave it to him, and then I started to try to slow it down, serving him."
She said when he went to leave, she knew he wasn't in any shape to drive.

"I called the police and said we have a very drunk person leaving the bar. He is going to kill someone or himself," DeVito said.

Shelby Police Chief Charlie Roub said one of his officers quickly located the driver, and came to the same conclusion DeVito did.

According to the police report, Mike Ramey blew a .167.
Ramey was arrested, charged with OVI. Two days later, DeVito got a call from her boss.
"He said ‘I'm gonna have to fire you, because it's bad for business to have a bartender that will call the cops,'" DeVito said.

The commander of this post wouldn't answer our questions on camera, but told us while DeVito probably did the right thing morally, she didn't do the right thing for his business.
DeVito said she did what she felt she had to, and she's glad her job was the only thing lost.
"I stand by what I did. And I would do it again," she said.

fired for calling the cops on a drunk driver..a drunk officer at the Legion these American Legion Posts are nonprofits and they serve veterans..apparently they serve them lots of Legionnaire's Disease another name for alcoholism?
Legionnaires' disease acquired its name in July 1976, when an outbreak of pneumonia occurred among people attending a convention of the American Legion at the Bellevue-Stratford Hotel in Philadelphia. Of the 182 reported cases, mostly men, 29 died. On January 18, 1977, the causative agent was identified as a previously unknown strain of bacteria, subsequently named Legionella, and the species that caused the outbreak was named Legionella pneumophila

I remember the Legionnaire's disease and the media hype...the Ebola hype is worse because of the blacks.....

but crashing into a bus full of kids while DUI is just..well..the new normal

Friday, October 17, 2014

here, there and everywhere

changing my life with a wave of her hand

so we got Sara Miller McCune vs Mayor Schneider....that's cool..the old rich lady versus the young Santa Barbara mayor..

I once thought Sara would buy the News-Press from Wendy and return it to glory..but instead we got Sara's venture, Mission and State,  a lame attempt to mix non-profits, for-profits and journalism...and I lost faith...Sara was just another clueless old rich bitch with white cotton candy old lady hair and a little dog in her lap all the time...a little lap dog that bears a striking resemblance to its owner....very annoying

now the fuss is over Caltrans and the widening project through Montecito...Mayor Helene suppports a lawsuit that wants to delay it more due to Caltrans many mistakes and Sara Miller McCune wants the project to proceed post haste...Sara even wrote a letter to the social media blasting Helene and telling her what to recuse herself from critical discussions...Helene says "no way don't tell me what to do!"

from what I can gather Helene is from New York and you tell New York girls what to do...

ok so the deal is by the time CALTRANS finishes the highway project, Sara will be dead, so maybe that's why she's so anxious...I don't feel there's a need to widen the 101 frm Carp to Santa's only about a ten mile stretch and it's a gorgeous vista...CALTRANS will fuck it up with sound walls and more cement than you can shake a stick at...a sound wall in Summerland? and Montecito..and a six lane highway? so people can get from here to there a little quicker at certain times of the day..usually the morning..

I live by the highway in Carp and don't see the need for all this development.. I don't want a sound wall..I like to see the cars and motorcycles and the trains...and the ocean and the marsh...the traffic pattern is quite clear...traffic flows nicely 98% of the slows down in the mornings around 8 o'clock for about an 30 only stops when some drunk crashes....and let's face it..there's simply too many people in California so what do they expect, things are gonna get crowded! look at LA...they got eight lane highways that slow to a crawl everyday!

I heard CALTRANS killed the Ventura Highway vibe with the walls and bike path barriers...too bad, that was a real nice drive...besides it already had a three-laner after La Conchita...leave it to CALTRANS to fuck it up..I'll check it out soon as soon as they stop breathing down my neck...

I've heard that CALTRANs is due to start the ill-fated project in 2018 and finish by 2027..fora ten mile stretch of's absurd...what they should do is leave the highway from Carp thru Montecito a four laner...designate it a scenic route..

and when you're traveling 20 miles an hour at 8:30 am, northbound, over the hill in Summerland, just gaze out over the ocean and Shark's Beach...

and you'll see what I mean

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Kansas City

I'm goin' to Kansas City, Kansas City here I come...

Lissen here...

eblogger editor he gots Ebola..the News-Press folks gonna get Ebola....conservatives all gonna gets Ebola!!

de stock market it dropped 350 points so I's gwinna splain thinks to you in be cool...we got white folks panicking over EBOLA...dats the virus coming from Africa where all dem black folks is....

Ebola catchin' up!!

now de stocks dey dropped but I ain't big-eye...I cool about it...but you all whiteys get bad -eye about black folks bringing EBOLA to wipe you out...did Obama special order Ebola to kill the whites? dat's possible but there's 317 million peeps in America and we gots one case of EBOLA dat killed dat black Nigeria dude...

so the chances of Ebola wiping out America is all dis happens in Texas, the state that prays to God 'n everything and tries to hambone your rights as a US citizen...and GOv Rick Perry he got EBOLA in the brain...and all dem businesses that flocked to Texas from Californa to beat the taxman, well doz businesses is running back to California so dey don't get EBOLA...dass got to Texas, you gets EBOLA!!

so I's buying when de stocks go low and I selling when dey gets high...and I ain't goin' to Texas no mo' till dey cleans up dat  Ebola hospital....

so I'm goin' to Kansas City, Kansas City here I come...they got some crazy li'l women there and I'm gonna get me one....

Monday, October 13, 2014

Good-Bye Columbus

I got a feeling you're gonna hear from us...

it's Columbus Day and the banks are closed and that should tell you something...the story is that Christopher Columbus discovered America in 1492...he was from Italy which means he was non-native scum

and the explorers were kinda mean: They would cut an [American] Indian's hands and leave them dangling by a shred of skin ... [and] they would test their swords and their manly strength on captured [American] Indians and place bets on the slicing off of heads or cutting of bodies in half with one blow." From Bartolomé de las Casas's written account Brevísima relación de la destrucción de las Indias-1592

Opposition to Columbus Day dates to at least the 19th century where activists had sought to eradicate Columbus Day celebrations because of its association with immigrants and the Knights of Columbus. They were afraid it was being used to expand Catholic influence

goddam Catholics..if they can't drink it or fuck it, they pray for it!!

so did Chris sail over on the Pinta, the Nina and the Santa Maria? I don't know I wasn't there but it seems the Chumash discovered Carpinteria in 1769 and Chumash were discovered by a guy named Juan Rodriguez Cabrillo...he found them in Carpinteria which used to be called I can't figure out what that name is supposed to mean so either the Chumash were high on weed or liquor when they blurted out the name...

so then after all this the Euporeans came over and stole the Indians' land...and thus America was born...America is totally non-native..

so instead of taking back that which was stolen from them, the Chumash decided to appeal to the white man's vices...gambling and drinking...and make tons of money

and so the New Chumash Valley was founded...formerly Santa Ynez

Sunday, October 12, 2014

time of the season

who's your daddy??

ok the election is coming up and everybody who thinks anyone cares what they think is offering endorsements.. I don't endorse anybody but I do endorse these Halloween films:

The Exorcist...full version with spider walk

Hocus Pocus: Bette Midler and company for loads of fun...uncensored version please

Freaks: Todd Browning's 1932 masterpiece with the awesome Harry Earles and cast of odd super-heroes...gooble gobble gooble gobble she's one of God, it's brilliant

The Haunting: the late great Julie Harris and Claire Bloom look all scared and cute in that cool old house

ok so um like the News-Press has some endorsements they squeezed onto page A2...all endorsements are along party lines..conservative or teabagger....and even Michelle Bachman dropped by the Reagan Ranch Center to offer her criticisms of Obama...apparently Michelle is the Intelligence Committee and Obama missed lots of meetings....Michelle Bachman on the Intelligence Committee! is that a joke???

and rememeber if you are gay, Michelle and her husband can cure you with gay conversion therapy..I think you should seriously consider it..for your sake, for my sake, for Michelles's sake, FOR GOD'S SAKE!!! I think Michelle is dumb but hot and I want her 2B happy

Chris Mitchum is running against Lois Capps and Ron Deblah! is running against Das Williams..well, I already showed you that Ron Deblah! is not electable with his crazy Brazilian wife casting spells on people..geez

Chris Mitchum? if Chris can't beat Lois this time around, then he should hang his head in shame..with all the ammo they got against Lois, real or imagined, Chris needs to step out of the teabagger shadow and start being a statesman...Lois, who's no spring chicken herself, has Mitchum looking like a befuddled old man in the TV ads....remember..all is fair in love, war and politics

now the reason so many Republicans can't win elections anymore is because they don't know themselves...any talk of self-awareness sends them running for a beer or two..

and when they can't win, they come up with cockamaimy schemes like cutting Ca-li-for-n-i-a into six sections-or cutting up the so-called Ribbon of Shame they thought favored Lois Capps...and ol' Lois just kept winning...

now Measure P and Measure S are interesting..Measure S will raise property taxes to fund SBCC improvements..but with guys like Lanny Ebenstein pro-S, you gotta wonder...I think until SBCC explains why they covered the track grass area with bright green astroturf, then no more money for them...

Linda says: Yes on P and don't hurt the trout
or I'll sue ya!

and Measure P is the oil fracking thing- Lanny is gotta wonder why people keep parading this donkey Lanny around as some sort of expert on anything!! Linda Krop of the EDC is pro-P...go Linda!! save them steelheads! did you know that Linda will sue you if you kill a trout!

so no endorsements from me..but I will predict the Republicans and baggers will lose big even though now they are starting to court the county unions...interesting strategic move on the union's part..if Measure P passes, they at least have it on record that the conservatives and baggers up north support them...the unions and the conservatives.... together again!

that means big bucks in the next contract negotiations.....

Friday, October 10, 2014

Tequila Sunrise

take another shot of courage....

so I see the Reality Church (tsk tsk) pastor G pled guilty to DUI and child endangerment...he was drinking and driving and crashed his motorcycle in Carp with his young son on board...nice dad! we're not here to hurt children, but to provide role models for them..which means acting responsibly and don't bullshit the kids..they can see right through it....

now I don't believe in all this pastor stuff..pastors don't know jack shit about anything..really, they don't...and watch them around your kids!!! they are predators..and they're stupid! but the sheep give these guys power for knowing more about some God spirit in the sky than they do

so I was thinking what the bible says about drinking and driving....well they didn't have cars back in the day, but they did have carts, I think...but the only think I can find is that quote from the "Birds"...Woe to those who rise early in the morning that they may pursue strong drink, Who stay up late in the evening that wine may inflame them...

  or in the vernacular of the peasantry: Cursed are those who get up early in the morning to give themselves up to strong drink; who keep on drinking far into the night till they are heated with wine!

now I love the bible and all that stuff..the poetry, the faith..but spirituality and organized religion are direct opposites...take a walk in the Carpinteria woods, and you'll see God...take a walk downtown Santa Barbara, and you'll see the devil's handiwork

but anyway, I see some Westmont grads have started a brewery in Goleta...Captain Fatty's or something..trying to capitalize on the craft beer craze....

well, I guess the only good Christian is a drunk Christian...

Thursday, October 9, 2014


you don't have to put on the red light


is the Young Miss America Foundation providing sexual favors for News-Press managers??? is Wendy McCuckoo a Madame?? Nipper a pimp??

ok so someone writes a comment about a suppposed sex scandal at the News-Press...what is it Christmas already....what a present!!

but according to the comments, a big-titted blonde intern from the Young Miss America Foundation broke up two marrriages at the News-Press...of course I can only speculate from hearsay at this point, but it seems plausible that this did indeed happen...

first I goota wonda who was married at the News-Press....I think Don Katich was or/is..and Scott Steepleton was/is....are there any other managers there?

and we know all about the Young Miss America Foundation that Wendy funds heavily....she pushes her right wing agenda: "no need to work for money, when you can steal it from someone else"

it's almost her own personal nonprofit and they do all the Reagan Ranch know the hypocritical conservative values nonsense....

have mercy!!

geez, the YMAF even came up with a "youth misery index" !!

"Young people are suffering under this economy," said Ashley Pratte, program officer for Young America’s Foundation, which developed the index and calculates it annually using federal statistics. "They’re still living in their parent’s basements, unable to find full-time jobs that pay them what they need in order to pay back their debt."

WTF..go out and get a job!!! have some dignity!!! it's not cool to live with your parents!!!

and on Oct 21- the Reagan Roundatable Lunch will feature Dinesh D'Souza, the goofy Indian dude whose amateur anti- Obama documentaries tried to nail President Obama but instead we learned that Dinesh, 51, while champeening family values and being president of King's College, was cheating on his wife with a 29 year old mistress...King's College was one that was champeened by Wendy's Young Miss America Foundation

The delicious part of this whole scandal is that the 51-year-old D’Souza was still married when he took his 29-year-old fiancé to a hotel for a tryst and spent the night together. No, that’s not the delicious part. The delicious part is that they were attending a conference on Christian Values called Truth for a New Generation...what excellent values for young people to emulate!

meanwhile, Obama is a dedicated family man bringing up two kids with Michelle...good parents! and he got Osama Bin Laden

but hmmmmm...big-titted blonde intern frm the YAF...well I remember Sara Bush from KEYT...she left and went to work for the News-Press...she's blonde and I think she may have big tits..but I don't think she's an intern...her big story was a tutorial for coeds seeking sugar daddies

so let's see... the blonde intern from YMAF with big tits was bangin' two News-Press managers and wrecked their marriages....

I checked out all the managers and directors and they got Wendy listed in the finance dept...Nipper wasn't on the list neither was Scott! hmmmm

this is contrary to the neo-faux-Christian values that the News-Press spouse nowadays with Andy Caldwell's editorials..although Andy claimed a few opinions ago that he likes petting farm animals!! I wonder if the wife knows??

ok so that's what I gotta find out...who the big-tittied intern from the Young Miss America Foundation is and who she was fucking...who is this Mystery Blonde with the big tits?
if this is all true, I will break the story wide open thanks to the comments from reader...

I'll find those pair of tits if it's the last thing I do!!!

my readers are the best!!! I just love love love you!!

Wednesday, October 8, 2014


let me stand next to your fire......LEMME STAND NEXT TO YOUR FIRE!!

well it certainly has been a spooky October..people living, people dying, people laughing, people crying...and the sky....oh the's that thing over the was lit up last night...the moon seems the moon has been everywhere lately...

the morning's high tides fill the vernal pools with white wine

last night, the blood-red moon rose over the mountains like a spirit..I stood on my perch and looked out over the vast openness..or open vastness, whichever...

then it dawned on me, dawn would bring a lunar I arose at midnight and snuck down to the bog under the freeway through the culvert thing and waited...I was greeted by a raccoon and some other creatures....we sat huddled in the mire waiting for the moon to disappear and cast her shadow....but then the fog rolled in hot and heavy and I saw nothing but mist scampering across the I went home

then I woke up at six o'clock and the moon was hightailing it across the western sky as if to run from my admonitions "don't hide behind the fog during a lunar event" I screamed...but off she ran, nearly blinding me in the process..but still, I'll hold her feet to the fire...

and the next time you come around:

be as Grace

and Sprinkle my laughing face

With nectar, and run on..

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Dream On

Yeah / Every time that I look in the mirror / All these lines on my face gettin' clearer, the past is gone

is it safe?

ok so maybe I was off by a couple hunnerd meters..the dead guy (NOT ME!! DREAM ON, DREAM ON MOTHERFUCKERS!!!) was found further down the marsh towards I guess I feel better because that means he wasn't wandering off in the Forbidden Zone...on the outskirts where I got my spots to hang out but I can't divulge that info right and the kites and the foxes kinda like our privacy

so I'm left to speculate since nobody wants to give any info on the corpse....ok they need to ok let them

now it appears the place he was found is closer to the beach houses and that little mobile home's really a neat area...pretty and everything but overgrown with native plants....there's a nice little fence.. a wooden fence that is covered by overgrown natives...people need to prune every now and then

nice fence buried by natives

conceiveably, someone could knife you in the natives and drag your body into the marsh for the buzzards to dispose of....they even got some weird binoculars so you can look at the birds..or dead bodies

being that the Avocado Fest was going on and the new beer and wine gardens were open, serving that stupid Avocado Ale..the dude could have been drunk and it was hot so beer in hot weather will dehydrate you and maybe he just dried up...

speaking of festivals, the Taste of Milpas party was Saturday and they had beer and wine gardens, tastings and demos and...I guess there's some maketing mania going on by the Milpas Association...they advertised the homeless, advertised getting rid of them, advertised they won Best Neighborhood, advertised how safe it is now ..and then this party type deal

geez, Milpas hasn't changed that much over the years..I still love the area but these newbies come in and think they are saving the world.....

everyone sure seems to be trying to force feed us alot lately...the chubby blonde busy-body is behind all this? that Sharon chick who works for the freebie Sentinel?? and the SB View..and she was crying about the city permits and regulations for the Taste of Milpas events!

gee, Sharon, you just can't put out beer kegs on the street corners and guzzle away!!

the last thing Milpas needs is more fat bossy white chicks trying to tell me where to eat...and bitching and moaning about the gov't that helps keep..well...Santa Barbara..Santa Barbara

so I'll have my usual burger at Milpas Jack in the Box- and she's just gonna have to deal with it

Monday, October 6, 2014

Midnight Confessions

when I tell all the world that I love you

after all my gushing about the Carp Salt Marsh, seems we may have a murder mystery brewing here....a body was found in the marsh at the UCSB study/eco area...lots of students walk around the marsh to collect samples and there's lots of beach houses on the perimeter..or maybe the train tracks coughed up a transient killer..the body was found during the Avocado Festival...but let's see what turns up.. I saw the story on KEYT with Alys Martinez standing there looking all pretty by the marsh....those KEYT girls...yummmmm...

now the marsh is a beautiful thing, but beautiful things often have a dark theory I'm investgating is there may be a Salt Marsh monster lurking...they say there's a ghost down there...native or non-native? I don't know but stay tuned, ok?

hey, here's a sex scandal out of Arroyo Grande....the city manager, Steve Adams, resigned after being found in City Hall after hours with a chick named Teresa McClish, who happens to be a city employee...from the reports out of the San Luis Obispo media, the duo looked disheveled you know how you look after having sex in the conference room late at night...

Adams has been at the center of a controversy since mid-August, when the public learned that five police officers found Adams and Community Development Director Teresa McClish alone late at night in City Hall on July 3.

Read more here:

the cops have filed a no confidence complaint against Adams....

A deputy city attorney investigation in July found no violations of city policies or state laws. Adams and McClish told the attorney that they had a few drinks at two restaurants in the Village that night and were talking in Adams' office to ensure they were safe to drive home.

midnight confessions??

but officers described Adams and McClish as looking disheveled. Adams appeared unkempt, with his shirt partially untucked and his hair uncombed, and appeared agitated when speaking to the officers, according to the police statements.

A few of the officers who saw McClish described her as holding a shirt or article of clothing in front of her chest.....

geez, I'm like totally turned on right now...but another look at the story from calcoastnews..I like this news BS, just the biz

In the past, Adams has insisted on firing employees discovered to be in romantic relationships with subordinate employees. However, in this case, assistant city attorney Michael McMahon called the officers on the telephone, and then asked "leading" questions during what the officers describe as a "hostile interrogation instead of a fact finding process."

so either these two have a drinking problem or a love problem or a drinking and love problem...did they have an affair? well, if they did they should move it to a hotel not City Hall...there's nothing wrong with people having happens all the time...let's see, the last time I had sex...well forget it...

but seriously there's a time and place for everything....conduct business at City Hall and fulfil the role you were hired for....

allegedly, there was a missing tape of the lovebirds in City Hall and yes I have obtained an exclusive transcript..don't ask me how, I just did..Adams and McClish had play names for each other..Christian and Anastasia..I don't know what's up with that

City Hall-After Hours

"Does this mean you’re going to make love to me tonight, Christian?" Holy shit. Did I just say that? His mouth drops open slightly, but he recovers quickly.
"No, Anastasia it doesn’t. Firstly, I don’t make love. I fuck… hard. Secondly, there’s a lot more paperwork to do, and thirdly, you don’t yet know what you’re in for. You could still run for the hills. Come, I want to show you my playroom."
My mouth drops open. Fuck hard! Holy shit, that sounds so… hot. But why are we looking at a playroom? I am mystified.
"You want to play on your Xbox?" I ask. He laughs, loudly.
"No, Anastasia, no Xbox, no Playstation. Come."… Producing a key from his pocket, he unlocks yet another door and takes a deep breath.
"You can leave anytime. The helicopter is on stand-by to take you whenever you want to go, you can stay the night and go home in the morning. It’s fine whatever you decide."
"Just open the damn door, Christian."
He opens the door and stands back to let me in. I gaze at him once more. I so want to know what’s in here. Taking a deep breath I walk in.
And it feels like I’ve time-traveled back to the sixteenth century and the Spanish Inquisition.
Holy fuck."

the sound of your footsteps, telling me that you're near....

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Wild World

oh, baby baby it's a wild world

people have pets because they don't want to be alone, they are afraid of being alone..but we're all alone..we're born alone, and we die alone...pets fill some sick neediness inside certain people with hollow hearts....they clutch the furry critters unless it's a fish you have as a pet, and when the pet passes away, they cry and cry all day...because they are in essense, alone again

food for thought!

 so I'm not surprised that the dead dog story made it to the front page of the's seems a little silly that these stories should be featured on the front page...but it's Wendy's paper and she can do whatever she wants and she's all about dogs...

now I read the story but couldn't stop laughing...not outta's just that the picture of the woman and her dogs..well I try mightily to stay away from these types of women..poor thing looks all sad and pathetic and conservative and probably all boozed up...and if you look closely, alot of these ladies are cross-eyed!

now me, I don't need a pet unless she's the kinda pet with a nice sweet avocado ass


but these odd gals, recent transplants, live in the wooded areas and can't deal with wildlife...she..well look at her..she ain't got a wild bone in her body

and the dog...the little thing looks like a skunk! if a coyote did kill her dog, he probably thought it was a skunk which is why he was hiding behind the bushes..a surprise attack so he wouldn't get sprayed!!

A coyote's favorite food items are small mammals, such as rabbits, mice, voles and shrews. Coyotes will also eat birds, frogs, skunks, berries, insects ...

how can these people, these weird white conservative women live in the hills of California and be so clueless??? where'd they come from? Orange County??

I got one word for those who don't unnerstand this concept of killing to eat-

food chain

Saturday, October 4, 2014

Everything that touches you

touches love love love..everything is love...

well there's lots of reasons to love Carpinteria and the Avocado Festival is one of them..3 days of peace, love and guacamole and, that's what it's all about...

and girls! lotsa pretty girls!

now this year,  the marketers tried to push the booze on everyone with the Avocado Ale and the wine and beer gardens...and the guacamole contest judges are Nipper and muppie Gabe Saglie, two dunces from the News-Press and a few other local radio and TV people..well..that's ok...

good point!

these people on the Avocado Fest board will finally catch on to Nipper and his antics....karma will win in the you can see by the mess they made of the News-Press...and everything they touch..the NP is made up of a bunch of druggies and I see a former News-Press receptionist, a methhead boozer was in court to face her karma...only a matter of time before these folks catch on, like I said...for now, all they see is Wendy's money!!

but anyway, I went into Carp town and grooved with the people phonies yet, just folks having good, old fashioned fun..

main stage was a Latin band just perfect for a hot sunny day...girls girls girls and some old folks and I swear to God I saw a black girl there! I axed her if she had ebola and she ignored me! geez, just trying to protect my homies babe

avocado ale...geez

then I saw the beer booth..not really a garden....and real small...well whatever..ok have a beer tonight if it means so much to you, you fat white people

then I go to the avocado stand and get a grab bag full of limes, some little orange things ...oh they're peppers with a punch!!  and avocados..and one type of avocado I've never can eat the skin!! cool! and OH MY GOD how yummy..the best  avocados I've ever had!! and the limes..the BEST!!

word of warning..the orange peppers..guys, wash your hands
before you pee or a lesbian with a blowtorch will visit some pain on you!

this is stuff straight from the farm not concocted in some freakin brewery steel vat brimming with bacteria somewhere!

then I see the tri-tip cooking and it smells soooo goood...meat baby!! all the food booths were rockin'! on a perfect Saturday morning

in this little California city by the beach....