Saturday, August 31, 2013

the heart is a lonely hunter

The muscle and bone - they encase my heart but never touch my soul.
I'll save that for the water and its shore, fear makes friends with joy.

Friday is the start of Labor Day weekend so I went on a bike ride..the day was warm and humid with some wispy clouds and a glaring sun...the water supplies are dwindling as I noted on my last visit to Lake Casitas to see the bald eagles....

I see wannabe politicians discussing nonsensical things like Mermaid logos, and yet not one of them mentions the drought, or the need for a building moratorium, or water use restrictions..not one of them...think about that......if we run out of water, you will indeed see California crumble into the sea...

I'll do my part and I hope you do yours...water is important..that scene in the Miracle Worker when Patty Duke (as Helen Keller) speaks..she struggles but finally says "water"...that scene with Anne Bancroft at the pump, when water comes out and gives life to Patty....I will never forget that scene

so the reason I went on a bike ride other than the exercise and the super fine weather is look for a bobcat.. I saw one in Summerland a few days ago, behind the Greenwell Preserve jumped a fence, crossed the road before a gardener's old Toyota truck hit it, and disappeared.. I had my camera out but the cat was too fast and I only caught a first sigthing...the cat was big and brown, sharp ears and long powerful legs, a short tail..he acknowledged me before he disappeared... I saw all that in that brief moment...of course I went looking for him in the bush..there's a creek down there, well hidden...this place is teeming with wild things...some ranches up here, too

but I didn't see the elusive bobcat again but am thrilled they are out close to us..

so I headed on down to Santa Claus beach and lots of people for a Friday... I started snapping pictures and one chick stopped and stared at me while I took pictures of the ocean scene, then she disappeared over the rocks into the sand... I rode on a bit more and stopped to see kids surfing...I crossed the railroad tracks and stood in the sand, taking more pictures..and then the girl was there... I watched her... she undressed, down to her bathing suit, almost her birthday suit...

then the gal lies down and looks over at me and slithers around in the sand, on her towel..then I thought about that bobcat....and Peggy Lee and Patty and Anne...

I have a feeling this is gonna be a real fine Labor Day weekend...unless I run out of water...

Friday, August 30, 2013


Good mornin' sun, I say it's good to see you shinin' / I know, my baby brought you to me

I like sleeping on a cold pillow but the problem is my body temp is 98.6 so the pillow warms up too then I see a product called "Chillow"... a pillowcase cooler!! so I ordered one

Burn These Bridges, baby!
ok the singer-songwriter thing is peaked in the 1970s and wandered around in the 1980s but this is 2013...if you're a singer songwriter today, nobody gives a shit..really nobody...I've seen the wannabes..they got famous daddies and they got their little albums out and they are 19 years old and they sing little folk song and trustfund blues and their own wippy little muffy tunes...hey 98.6 it's good to have you back again! like cute little Jessie Bridges, Jeff's kid...honey you need to burn some bridges..that's a title of my song so don't steal it, but I urge you to "Burn These Bridges"!!

not that this dead art can't be can...I love the original ones like James Taylor and John Denver and all, but watching them nowadays with the hearing aids and walkers well just makes me uncomfortable..and John Denver is dead although his music lives on....these guys were originals..hugely talented and fearless...learn from them but don't copy them...

see, you need to add something to it..singer-songwriter-farmer..or singer-songwriter-busboy..or singer-songwriter-waitress...or singer-songwriter-microbiologist ...or singer-songwriter-chillow inventor!

today, you can't just be a singer-songwriter- you can't just appear on a magazine with a cigarette in your mouth and try to look cool...cigarettes are stupid!!!

you need to add some pizzazz to it...and then your stories become more interesting because the offspring of famous Hollywood actors who live  sheltered lives in Montecito don't usually have anything to say unless they strike out on their own and stake their own claims, like John and James did...

just be yourself

next I see that SBCC Adult Ed changed their logo to transgender Flying Dolphins and named it CLL- Center for Livelong of the classes is put on by the nonprofit Center for Self Esteem..the lady giving the talk is Erin Graffy.... EEGADS!!! the nutty Society gal who writes for the News-Press--wow, the lecture is a half hour long! anybody with any self-esteem would at least give you an hour of her time, I would think..

Erin calls herself an historian- she's not really- her sense of history is what Justin Beiber wore yesterday..she's got her weird brother and her daffy mother....I'm tellin' ya, this whole family needs to disappear...

Thursday, August 29, 2013

achy breaky heart

You can tell the world you never was my girl / You can burn my clothes when I'm gone

well by all acounts Miley Cyrus the daughter of Billy Ray, is growing up to be a pretty young woman....she was on a Disney show Hannah Montana,  but you can't stay a Disney girl forever...and she 's not stoner or loadie...she's just an all American girl with a little style and showgirlship..I like her!

now she has created a stir among the conservatives with her performance at the MTV Video awards..the ultra ultra conservative Parents TV Council were upset at Miley's attire and sexy vamping...and another parent wrote a letter to the world complaining about Miley....

and this is exactly why Miley should continue to do what she do...if nothing else, piss off the stupid conservatives/Christians who have nothing better to do than judge this young lady, Miley Cyrus, for being herself...oh and she stuck out her tongue a few times....

the reason these people are upset is a mystery to me but it has to be the collective American Christian conservative sexual repression syndrome...I remember as a kid when Elvis was swinging his hips, I learned later that these same conservative types tried to ban the King....the fixation on genitalia hiding under the pants is bizarre

but it all boils down to censorship.. a group of people trying to tell you what you can and cannot watch or direct violation of the First Amendment!!!

nobody messes with free speech and anyone who tries I will cut their fucking tongues out of their stupid little got that Christians...I'll cut your hearts out!!!!

besides, Miley's just trying to have a little fun....

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

c'mon get happy

Hello world, here's a song that we're singin' C'mon get happy!!

 city workers barred
from Bo Henry's bar...oh pooh!
well I only caught the last part of Mr. Wimpy's Show a few nights ago about the karaoke fundraiser for Jason Nelson, but the first part I saw recently when the old dudes were discussing Mr. Shrimpy's bar, Bo Henry's- where the old Palmieri's was on the westside... I think it's over by San Andres St on the other side of city college...I don't hang out over there but may check it out for fun when the gang activity dies down a bit

but Eringer says he's revamped Bo Henry's and hung "fine art" on the wall, given it new carpet, serves wines as well as booze and basically "cleaned the place up"...he says his clientle are still poor Mexican guys but he says he likes Mexicans..he say other working class people come in who just want a few cocktails after work...he says some of his old friends won't go there because they don't want to get busted for DUI!! well, yeah

then he says city workers get too many subsidies and don't hang out at his bar, but all kinds of other blue collar folks hang out there...

this from Eringer who lives off a trust fund and doesn't have a clue what public workers the Vactor crew that cleans out sewers....this isn't work for pussies!!

then Mr. Shrimpy says he won't tolerate drunks in his bar..if you get aggressive you'll be asked to leave..if you slur your speech, out you go...he wants only fun gentle times at Bo Henry's...then he says he charges $9 to $13 for a glass of wine...WHAT??? $13 for a glass of wine??? who in their right mind would pay $13 for glass of wine?? geez, what a ripoff!!

in other words, he's advertising for only higher class the message is you can drink booze at Bo Henry's, just don't get intoxicated!! listen pal, you won't find a rainbow at the bottom of a bottle....

Kiefer Sutherland and Jose Cuervo Urge You To "Have A Story"..

and oh yeah David Cassidy too...busted twice for DUI

ok so I see that Kiefer Sutherland who had a show on FOX is doing Jose Cuervo tequila commercials..this is a real brilliant idea given he was busted twice for DUI and is an alcoholic

But sitting down with that bottle for some bro time is only the first stage in what the campaign, created by McCann New York, is about: Once the shots are poured, who knows what kind of story you’ll wake up with the next day? Maybe that’ll involve a Russian stomach tattoo or a curious game of Spin the Bottle or a frantic search for your passport. If you’re living your life the way Kiefer and Cuervo think you should be, you might do all of that and more. What you won’t be doing--having regrets.

unless you're Martin MaGuire, the drunk stoner who crashed DUI into the motorcyclists on Old Coast Highway and did major damage to them....

I haven't forgotten about you Marty...or the judge who keeps delaying your trial..

Monday, August 26, 2013

the Haunting

'No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality.'

when I heard that Julie Harris died, I smiled a little because I thought about her performance in the Haunting, a film I've loved since I was a kid... I always watch it during Halloween's campy, absurd, scary and downright was Julie Harris

and speaking of spooky, a dude named Andrew Coffin runs the Young Miss American Foundation, a nonprofit that glorifies Ronald Reagan...I wonder if they know about the Iran-Contra affair?? or the Economic Recovery Tax Act that Ron signed in he cut taxes and two months later raised them again!!

oh well..I s'pose not

but a front page story in the Sunday's News-Press was horrifying .... it seems the Navy is allowing officers and crew from the USS Ronald Reagan to visit the Reagan Ranch, Rancho Del Cielo and do odd jobs for the ranch owners, the Young Miss America Foundation! Nancy and Ron bought the ranch for about $500000 and after Ron died, Nancy sold it to the YMAF for an undisclosed sum..."Although the ranch is closed to the public, Young America's Foundation offers students and supporters the opportunity to visit the property Reagan called "heaven."

jerkin' a paint brush with a Navy gal!
now what puzzles me is why the youngsters in YMAF aren't helping out with the chores...would they ruin their nicely pressed little khakis? would they stain with honest sweat their blue button down collar shirts? or scuff their polished loafers?

all this creeps me out because the YMAF states its ideals as individual freedom, a strong national defense, free enterprise and traditional values....traditional values like hard work? earning your own keep? staying away from drugs and alcohol?? obeying the law?? you mean those traditional values?? it's obvious Wendy and the News-Press don't believe in traditional values..they lie cheat do drugs and Wendy and Nipper are no doubt engaging in pre-marital sex!!!

or maybe work would interrupt the propaganda the kids are being fed by Coffin and crew...of course Wendy gives tons of cash to the YMAF nonprofit and owns the Reagan Ranch Center downtown...

but what really scares me is the Navy personnel, supported by my public tax dollars, are going up to a conservative nonprofit, which is closed to the public, the Reagan Ranch and working there for free!! this is frightening abuse of taxpayer money!!

these Navy girls are going up to the ranch, dressed in skimpy sexy outfits, causing all the little dudes in the YMAF to go jerk off in the bushes up there!!

and shouldn't the Navy be protecting us from Islamic terrorists instead of lollygagging at the Reagan Ranch??

perhaps it's time to review the tax-exempt status of the Young Miss America Foundation....

Sunday, August 25, 2013

stranger in paradise

Take my hand,
I'm a stranger in Paradise
All lost in a wonderland
A stranger in paradise

some folks call Santa Barbara the American Riviera....and some folks refer to Santa Barbara as paradise...sometimes I feel like a stranger in paradise

so someone suggested that someone has a crush on dreamy SB city council candidate Jason Nelson and I think it's true! Mr.Shrimpy and Mr. Wimpy got the hots for Jason!! it's a budding bromance..

on Mr. Wimpy's TV Show last night and they were both gushing about wannabe SB city councilman Jason...when Jason is not trying to solve the Mermaid logo dilemma that is plaguing Santa Barbara, he enjoys hanging out in Bo Henry's bar!!

hey, look at these looks like the SB View stole the City of Santa Barbara logo design and tweaked it a bit!! how 'bout an investigation into that one, Jason!!!

Mr. Shrimpy and Mr. Wimpy!
but it appears that on Monday night Mr. Shrimpy will be hosting a party at his bar, Bo Henrys for Jason Nelson... a karaoke fundraiser!! a what??

Mr. Wimpy said he can't wait to attend..and remember Mr. Wimpy (Jim Worthen) is on record saying it's ok to drink and drive after 10 cocktails...

I wonder how Jason feels about that?? after hearing Jason speak about the issues Santa Barbara faces and his time as a "civil affairs" corresepondent in Afghanistan he detailed in the News-Press, I'm feeling real sympathy for the Afghan people!! imagine invading a country, killing their children with drone attacks, and then having some jerkoff civil affairs guy tell you how to live your life... no wonder they hate Americans!!

and I still don't know what Jason does for a living or how much he gets from his military pension!
looks like it's time to find out....

Won't you answer this fervent prayer?
Of a stranger in paradise
Don't send me in dark despair....

Friday, August 23, 2013

smile a little smile for me, Rosemarie


ok so here's a weird one...KEYT had a story about a woman, Rosemary Banko, who worked for the county, she retired and now she's suing SB County and the Union for the union dues she paid, but didn't want to...she's filing under a civil rights violation!!

a little research finds that she's a teabagger!!! now contrast Rosemary to Helen Keller, who fought for workers' rights and for the deaf and you think Helen Keller would be pissing and moaning about some union dues? NO! she'd be proud to pay...

Newspaper columnists who had praised her courage and intelligence before she expressed her socialist views now called attention to her disabilities. The editor of the Brooklyn Eagle wrote that her "mistakes sprung out of the manifest limitations of her development." Keller responded to that editor, referring to having met him before he knew of her political views:
"At that time the compliments he paid me were so generous that I blush to remember them. But now that I have come out for socialism he reminds me and the public that I am blind and deaf and especially liable to error. I must have shrunk in intelligence during the years since I met him. ... Oh, ridiculous Brooklyn Eagle! Socially blind and deaf, it defends an intolerable system, a system that is the cause of much of the physical blindness and deafness which we are trying to prevent"

Brooklyn Eagle kinda like the News-Press and Santa Ynez Valley Journal!!

"I was appointed on a commission to investigate the conditions of the blind. For the first time I, who had thought blindness a misfortune beyond human control, found that too much of it was traceable to wrong industrial conditions, often caused by the selfishness and greed of employers. And the social evil contributed its share. I found that poverty drove women to a life of shame that ended in blindness."

The last sentence refers to prostitution and syphilis, the former a frequent cause of the latter, and the latter a leading cause of blindness. In the same interview, Keller also cited the 1912 strike of textile workers in Lawrence, Massachusetts for instigating her support of socialism.

see Rosemary?? without Helen Keller, you'd have ended up an old whore..which is probably what you are anyway..hussy!!!

and her hubby is a contractor: Mr. Russell Banko (Self Employed/Contractor), (Zip code: 93463) $500 to REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE on 09/08/08

so the lawsuit is obviously political....

well let's see Rosemary..there's union dues to pay if you work in a union shop...I paid about $14 per month during my career as a Lighthouse Keeper

if you benefit from salary negotiations, but you hate unions and don't want to join, you will pay a lesser fee..a maintencance fee...why should my dues subsidize you..if you don't like unions, go work for the News-Press you crazy old bitch!! but nope, Rosemary's glad to draw a monthly check from the county retirement system....and besides, the employees voted for union shop and it looks like Rosemay was on the losing end...

now let's say Rosemary worked for the county for 20 years and she paid $8/month in union fees...20 years equals 240 months....240 months* $8=$ that's what she wants in a refund...that's the grand total!!! well I hope she gives back any pay increases she got from those illegal union negotiations...

the point of unions is to pool resources which increases working class power..and that scares the conservatives and teabaggers..the days of ENRON type employers who steal from their employees are over

now I saw this letter in the Santa Ynez Valley Journal where Rosemary sticks up for teabaggers

Government involvement
This is in response to the letter from Peggy Steele in the March 25 edition of the Valley Journal:

It is difficult to believe she spoke to someone who was involved in the protest on Saturday. The people joining these demonstrations, loosely referred to as "Tea Parties," do not believe in any of the things she says were suggested to her. Common sense would tell you that people showing up on a Saturday morning to show their dislike of government involvement in their lives would not advise someone to defraud the government and get taxpayer provided assistance. Also, if someone had done such an illegal and immoral thing, does anyone really believe they would reveal it to a perfect stranger? Finally, when she claimed that whoever she spoke to started talking about Glenn Beck and impeaching the President, she revealed her true bias. Her letter was another attempt to smear freedom-loving citizens who were practicing their Constitutional right (for now) of free speech.

I also think that it seems rather selfish to demand that all Americans be required to lose the health care they planned and worked for just so her son will be covered if he loses his job?

Rosemary Banko

Rosemary E Banko v. County of Santa Barbara et al

Plaintiff:Rosemary Banko
Defendants:County of Santa Barbara, Robert W Geiss, Jeri Muth and Service Employees International Union Local 620

Nature of Suit: Civil Rights - Other Civil Rights

Presiding Judge: Consuelo B. Marshall

this is a scam ..another bogus "civil rights" lawsuit against a gov't a union busting teabagger!!!
so Judge Consuelo....please show Rosemary the door and kick her in the ass for me on her way out, ok???

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Michael Row the Boat Ashore

The river is deep and the river is wide, hallelujah / Milk and honey on the other side...


ok now judging from the Mermaid logo, it looks like we got a bunch of sex-starved women "working" over at the the Visit Santa Barbara non-profit...

hey...this whole issue may work to my advantage...we got the SB View posting wild inaccuracies to try and tie the City to the logo...

look, believe it or not I'm on the Mermaid's's been awhile since I had some tail so that will be my focus...

and milk!

the splashy gals at Visit Santa're now on my radar baby!!!


itsy bitsy teeny weenie

yellow polka dot bikini...

ever since I print, prodded,  posted and published my exclusive story on the pro-tourist Santa Barbara Mermaid logo, I'm glad to see Editor Bird over at the Santa Barbara View run with it...and run he is....Mermaid this Mermaid that....why, they even got wannabe council member ex-News-Press Team Wendy member Jason Nelson  offering his own expertise and blaming the City of Santa Barbara for the logo!!! then Jason provides his own drab yellow logo of a jumping dolphin...geez...

provided at no taxpayer expense!!

you may remember my original seems everyone is copying it now..but mine didn't cost the taxpayers a dime!!

now the Santa Barbara Visitors Bureau and Film Commission is another non-profit...all nonprofits want money and don't wanna pay taxes..they are a favorite of conservatives....there's more nonprofits in Santa Barbara and they always stand at the city council chambers alter and ask for money..they do it in Carp, they do it in the county..they do it everywhere..they are worse than panhandlers!!!

and Solvang has a Visitors bureau....even Oxnard has one..go Visit Santa!!

Santa Barbara Conference & Visitors Bureau and Film Commission name is too long so they changed it to the shorter Visit Santa Barbara with the upturn in the economy and booze- soaked brain cells of the wine tasting crowd!!

and you know how I feel about nonprofits! ok, some are legit but most are filled with people who simply don't want to work for a living..

now, for the SB View and anti-union/gov't candidate Jason Nelson to claim the City of Santa Barbara is solely reponsible for the unpopular Mermaid logo..well not quite..the city county and private sector are all in this one together!

Visit Santa Barbara is a non-profit 501(c)(6) organization jointly funded by the City of Santa Barbara, the County of Santa Barbara, the South Coast Tourism Business Improvement District (TBID) and by a membership of hospitality-related businesses. The primary mission of Visit Santa Barbara is to enhance the economies of the City of Santa Barbara, South Coast communities and Santa Barbara County areas through tourism marketing that increases business revenue, tax revenue and creates jobs.

there are many nonprofits that the city funds, Peoples' Self Help Housing being the biggest beggar...and they beg for my tax money in Carpinteria, too!

so the point of all this is an oversight is needed on all the nonprofits asking for public money...and that's my platform...STOP NONPROFITS!!!

ok so googled the nonprofit in question..they have a nice little website filled with touristy ideas, so check in with them next time you plan a trip to Santa Barbara......

but hey whatever happened to just hitting the road and having fun!!

Wednesday, August 21, 2013


I got it!!
Santa Barbara's new tourist logo..

funded soley by non-profits not the City of Santa Barbara government....

Sleep it off-in Santa Barbara!!

hey babe, take a walk on the wild side

shaved her legs and then he was a she...

ok there's one concept some of you may need to start getting used to...the changing American family....if Johnny is your pride and joy and he's an All-Star football player who gets good grades, don't be surprised if he shows up at the dinner table one night in a dress! or when he goes to school, he decides today he'll use the Girl's Room to take a pee....

I'll let you in on a little secret..when I was a pre-teen, I stole my sister's bra and the housekeeper's wig and paraded around the room like Gypsy Rose Lee.....don't worry, the parents were gone and it was just a phase..a Freudian sex phase...I waltzed around my room mimicking the was funny..and I spent a time or two in the Girl's Room at school, checking out the urinals!! fascinating I thought....well, I had to be sneaky so I didn't get caught, but now they have co-ed bathrooms, so I as WAYYYY ahead of my time, apparently..

ok so I passed thru that phase ok without any repressed sexual issues....well hardly any...

so today or recently we have Gov Brown signing a bill to affirm some rights for transgender kids...I thought about all this while watching Hairspray with the funny and outrageous Divine, a drag queen who parodied American culture brilliantly...Sonny Bono was in the movie and Blondie's Debby Harry played his wife..they both were the racist parents of a prom queen racist..the movie took a look at racism in a funny way..

but Sonny's daughter Chasitity whose mom is Cher decided she wanted to be a he..and Chaz Bono was rebranded...


now I see a picture of two ladies...Sarah Miller McCune and Lady Leslie Riley-Tree and I'm thinking sumthin's up with these gals....Lady looks like she's always got a black eye and Sarah looks like this old dude who lives down the street from me...the point is if you have to put a "Lady" before your name, you're probably hiding some past transgender issues..and if you look closely at Sarah Miller McCune, well, that ain't no lady...

and the colored girls go doo doo doo doodoodoo doo doo

Tuesday, August 20, 2013


half of what I say is meaningless, but I say it just to reach you Julia....

well I screwed up again... I said the SB Chamber of Commerce may be behind the Mermaid logo but it turns out the day after I published that post, my pals at the Santa Barbara View who vow to "keep Santa Barbara Santa Barbara" (instead of Ventura??) published a post about that very same mermaid!! and the News-Press published the pink mermaid too! we all got punked!!

Visit Santa BarBarBarBarBarBara!!
the Santa Barbara mermaid logo is being promoted by the SB Conference and Visitor Bureau and Film Commission...a coupla nonprofits no doubt

and they had the temerity to inform SB View but not!!??

so I lifted this from the SB View:
The brand refresh was the result of a year-long process helmed by a third-party strategic business group and involved numerous local hospitality member workshops, discussions, and incorporates the feedback and opinions of destination marketing partners as well as the business objectives of Visit Santa Barbara. After vetting a variety of graphic design agencies, we worked with an established firm to bring the new brand identity to life through multiple iterations and refinements -

See more at:

and here is the updated mermaid logo!

oh I almost forgot! I have obtained an exclusive picture of the other logo..some young folks having a hoedown in the back of a pick-up truck....circa 1950 in the fictional city of Saint Barbara...awesome!!


Monday, August 19, 2013

Charlie Don't Surf

and we think he should...


when I spot something weird about the SB city council candidates, I will alert you..I'll call them  CHARLIE Alerts .. however my alert is not to be confused with the child abduction Amber Alerts which are much more serious...

now I know all the gay guys will vote for Jason Nelson, the Christian looking conservative Santa Barbara city council candidate..Jason used to work for the News-Press ):...he'd write propaganda pieces about the war in much the kids loved us there, etc

it seems Jason has had a facelift of sorts and bleached his teeth so he'll be pleasing to the readers of the nice

now, this ad I saw over at the Santa Barbara View....check it out...I told you Jason was not too bright and look how he spelled "leader" ....L-E-A-D-O-R....leador??

take me to your leador!! or what, Jason?


after I pointed out the glaring spelling error, Jason's people corrected the ad and spelled "leader" correctly...see? I'm already cleaning up this city and quick!!!

wide open spaces

She needs wide open spaces
Room to make her big mistakes


first of all, let me say I never have visited the Chumash casino...never never never...ever ever ever...and I never will..ever ever....not to see a music show or gamble...I don't gamble at casinos... I hung out once at the horse racing place at Earl Warren Showgrounds and it depressed me...I went  to Vegas once and got the same feeling...I need wide open spaces, not big rooms with weird carpet drunk people and roulette wheels...and one armed bandits everywhere...casinos are not for me...

however, if the Dixie Chicks played at the Chumash casino resort, I would go in a hot minute ..

but I think the Chumash are shooting broken arrows most of the time....trying to tell me how much they give back to the community after the community members lose their shirts at the casino..oh, everyone says they won big at the casinos but the average loss per visit is about $99!

they seem to think that the white man should atone for the way he treated the Indians..well if the white man didn't intevene in the course of events, there would be no America....who knows what we'd be now?? a part of Mexico with me in the fields picking grapes or lettuce? or perhaps Hitler would have succeeded and I'd be singing one of his favorite songs "Blutrote Rosen" right now...


so there's a war of words up in the valley between the Cowboys and Indians....the ranchers and the Chumash..the Chumash want to expand and the ranchers say no....there's fights over water rights...with the wineries now water becomes very long can the valley lasts if it uses all its water for wineries and golf courses???

one letter to the News-Press caught my eye on was from Nancy Crawford-Hall..the big fat gal who bankrolled Steve Pappas' flights of fancy and who shut down her valley paper the SYVJ because she didn't like the liberal political climate..too many minorities voting

anyway Nance says the Chumash are a bunch of half-breeds and aren't really a legitmate tribe so why should they get special treament from the county? they want to build on the land that Injun lover Fess Parker (Davy Crockett, King of the Wild Frontier) sold's called Camp 4
and that will open the flood gates to unrestricted development in the Santa Ynez Valley...

well I don't know about that but I rather fear the wineries more than the Chumash...white people are way worse that the Indians nowadays...and all those phony sippers and professional wine tasters got me all riled up..if the injuns wanna camp on Camp 4, I say ok!!

and I have a warning to those who live in the valley....y'all need to change your foolish ways or the Grapes of Death may be your future:

the danger of pesticides in vineyards
the story warns of the unlucky Elizabeth and her nightmarish attempts to discover what happened to the residents of Santa Ynez, a small village out in the sticks renown for its vineyards. We have a pretty good idea what happened right from the start when we see a bunch of scrappy looking white dudes wandering around in the fields spraying some chemical on the grapes. The guy who owns a farm arrives on the scene and makes a few comments about procuring more effective chemical masks for these workers. If you think that the pesticide will lead to gory mayhem within minutes, give yourself a pat on the back. The carnage starts even before Elizabeth arrives in the area. While riding the rails with a lovely friend, one of the chemical zombies stumbles aboard the train and quickly dispatches our heroine's pal. We know he's a zombie because he sports some weird, oozing sores all over this mug and lurches about in typical Romero undead style. It looks like Liz is in for a doozy of a time.

It's not too long after the incident on the train that Elizabeth sets off across the foggy Santa Barbara countryside in search of the residents of Santa Ynez. Before she returns home, however, she stumbles over a house where a couple invites her in for some vittles. Unfortunately, the head of the household has the grape plague in spades, and it takes a lot of effort for our young friend to escape intact. Soon after Elizabeth meets up with yet another enigmatic figure, this time a lovely young lass afflicted with blindness by the name of Lucy, and once again tragedy strikes when the grape zombies move to center stage. Poor Lucy! Her own father performs head surgery on the hapless girl with an extremely sharp instrument. Yuck! By the time two chaps lumber into view, both of whom recognize the reality of the terror roaming the countryside and have decided to take matters into their own hands, Elizabeth is fighting to stay alive any way she can. Zombies are everywhere!

and not just any zombies....GRAPE ZOMBIES!!!

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Surfer Girl

I have watched you on the shore, standing by the ocean's roar...

natives struggle
well I heard about the shark attack off the Carp coast by the seal I headed to the Bluffs to check it I'm walking up to to the beach area and I see the nativists are still trying to get some native plants to take hold...they got their own little cordoned off area and irrigation system and still the plants are kinda dead looking...we are in a drought and yet the city Parks Director Matt Roberts and is watering his little native's insane ...meanwhile the few salt cedars and plentiful eucalyptus are doing fine without a special water suppy...the soils are salty here and not every native plant will let Nature decide what belongs here and not some dumbass parks director...geez

good farm!!

high as a kite!
so ooooh...I look over at the little farm operation by Tee Time driving range, and see a few kites hovering overhead..then they dive in for the kill...then they fly over to the eucs and feed their young....awesome to watch these birds...and thanks to the farm not using rodenticides, the kites will help keep the mice and rats down...anyone found using poison irresponsibly out in the open will answer to me...they already killed a coyote pup -I saw that on the KEYT story- and for some reason #69 rescued it and was trying to keep it alive instead of humanely killing was too far gone..from poison...

ok so I go to the bluff top to and see some fat seals below but no sharks..some folks checking it all out...a chick walking...that girl would be in my dream later..and I saw a few "CAUTION-Swim at your own Risk" signs...well at whose risk would I be swimming if not my own?

so I go back home...later that night, I fall asleep and into a dream that was very vivid and rather scary, but relaxing at the same time...I'm walking by the beach, a place like west beach by Stearn's Wharf and a jogger goes by me...the girl I saw at the Carp Bluffs!!

then I look out into the water and see a huge dorsal fin kinda marble swirl colored..then I see a big great white shark at the water's edge..then the thing comes out of the water and heads toward me..I freeze with fear..then the creature turns left and chases down the jogger..and starts attacking her!! so I see a shovel leaning against an old shed, I grab it and start banging away..on the finally runs off into the water, turns around and stares at me..I'm standing there with the shovel, standing over the girl, challenging the great white beast!

next a girl comes out of her plant shop and I yell "call 911", this girl was attacked by a shark...the flower girl looks at me incredulously like hey man sharks don't attack people on dry land...

then, two young guys with Australian accents come is carrying a shotgun..I tell him what happened and to go kill that shark..the shark turned and started slowly swimming away..the dude asks if he should pay me to shoot the shark and I yell "NO OF COURSE NOT..HURRY UP AND SHOOT IT, MATE!!"

so they walk down the dock with the shark a few feet ahead of them..then the shark disappears into the deep with a swirl...then I woke up

the Marine Mammal Center and old sea dude Peter Howorth are putting out these alarms everytime a shark dines and the meal ends up dead on the shore....he's employing some psychological warfare to turn people against sharks...he uses the News-Press to write his propaganda and I read the fear all these shark sightings and signs may be messing with my head a little bit..

sharks have been around for millions of years and have adapted and my dream may have fortold of a new skill..the ability of sharks to leave the water and stalk and attack blondes on the beach..out of the water...

which means less blonde chicks for me..

and that could be a problem

Saturday, August 17, 2013


A million lights are dancing and there you are
A shooting star, an everlasting world


ok I can take only so much bullshit before the the BS meter exploded once before when ..if you watch Xanadu, you'll know where Beyonce got her act...from Olivia!!

the BS meter is hot when Wendy wanks about something, and now I got to contend with Mission and State, a new "narrative journalism" publication from Sarah Miller McCune and her odd frilly friends....

I'm under more pressure than Princess Di was!!!

narrative journalism...hmmmmm..telling stories??? telling one-sided stories? little bedtime stories? like fables?? like the News-Press does..fluff

so this was the story..the Legal Aid Foundation and some dufus lawyer named Joe Allen rescuing poor little Mexican Taurino Torres who complained that when he got stopped by the cops, that female cop (we know who!) "made me feel like an illegal alien"....that's right, that's what the story said!! look no one can make you do anything..or feel anything...except Olivia Newton John..she made me fall in love with her and sometimes I can't see for the tears in my eyes...suspend me in time, Olivia

now of course I have a shitlist of worthless nonprofits and now I can add another one..the Legal Aid Foundation of Santa Barbara and the Mission and State thing was funded almost soley by nonprofits..maybe with all the money they make, they got a guilty conscience and want to give back to the poor Mexican community by targeting the cops!! WTF???

this whole story was an ad for the Legal Aid foundation..send them money so they can do free legal work for poor Mexicans..kinda like the Unity Shoppe!!

like the Santa Barbara Chamber of Commerce or Arts Council or somebody has a fierce ad campaign to remake the city's image get more tourist money and fratboys spending mommy and daddy's money...we got mermaids as the true meaning of Saint Barbara...The landlocked mermaid is a symbol of contemporary woman, trapped in a paradoxical dilemma of being at once domesticated and untamable, worldly and intuitive...circling the hearts fishbowl of romantic longings and the murky depths of deep emotion. She also offers sagacious advice and mischievous tips for todays world of dating, mating and beyond, along with an enchanting way of hydrating the weary mermaid soul.

hydrating the mermaid soul? oh I get it...just go for drinks in the Funk Zone!!!


Friday, August 16, 2013

you've got your troubles

I've got mine....

ok so it looks like I jumped to conclusions again with my post on the beat down of one Skye McGinnes...apparently during the Fiesta parties and at one Relais de Paris, the cops were not called by Skye and the bouncer..instead the cops just showed up, like an old girlfriend..well you know what that spells, don't you? T-R-O-U-B-L-E!!

how many times do I have to read that story in the Independent before I see what really happened? I just don't know...I just can't remember all the details... in reality, no one knows what happened..there will be versions of the truth and you have to pick the most plausible, as I will come the trial....or hearing...

do I think that Skye and his lawyer Josh Lynn will sue the city? it depends on how much money Skye needs to keep his businesses afloat..I'm not saying he's broke but he's got a construction company and he's part owner of the Arlington Tavern... and he's managing a French restaurant?? I'm jus' sayin'.... it's all about cashflow ya know...

I mean, it is not plausible to me that Skye McGinnes can't remember if he got punched in the face when he was fighting that drunk guy...but he remembers with crystal clarity that the cops tased him and threw him onto the pavement, causing his injuries...

many people try to sue the City of Santa Barbara and the cops are an easy target because they are in the mix everyday....and I hear it all the time...when people get busted for DUI or alcohol related issues, and they get a hearing their memories are fuzzy about the details of the drinking, but crystal clear when they accuse the cops of manipulating breathalysers, or they remember the fine details about what documents they signed when they got pulled over, but they can't remember their own's a total a scam!!! that's why there's DUI tap the money well from the taxpayers!!

so are all these little wankers following Peter Lance's lead by running to the News-Press and other media to get their stories out before a hearing? to get some sympathy from the public...

of course they are...but I see the News-Press and Noozhawk haven't touched this story yet...normally they'd be all over a potential police brutality case, but maybe they learned something when they rushed to support a couple of weasels like Lance and DeNunzio....

and don't forget Taurino Torres who sued the city and the cops for civil rights violation when his car was impounded for driving without a license ...the News-Press forgot to do a front page story on the fact that Taurino lost the case recently and was proven to be a deadbeat dad! but the News-Press certainly had a front page story when the lawsuit was filed...

the Torres case without the fluff:

remember, the hawk watches the weasel...but the monkey chases the weasel

Thursday, August 15, 2013

one man's ceiling

is another man's floor...

ok so I'm on the case of the restaurant guy who got beat up...after reading the details more closely from the Independent report, I realized I prematurely implicated the Arlington Tavern...but I caught that and said the incident took place at another I took an interest in this because hey I likes French people!

C'est Bon!! Relais de Paris

and my goal is to provide some insight into what may or may not have happened...educated grazing...and we'll explore the toll alcohol worship is taking on Santa Barbara...

now the restaurant guy who brought shame to the Arlington Tavern actually owns a piece of it..Skye the twist here is that Skye manages (or something) the French restaurant, Relais de Paris (Hotel of Paris??) and that's where the fight took place....this all happened during Fiesta right next to De la Guerra Plaza...and when I was at the Fiesta party I saw the restaurant in can enter from the plaza into a little court's right behind the behinds of these cute little Mexican gals...and that's where the fight was ....right there!!!

and you know what De La Guerra means: of the war!! war equals fighting and violence so I don't know why everyone is getting all worked up....when you fight, one guy wins and the other guy loses...and Skye lost...

Joe and Marc

so the only way the Arlington Tavern can regain its reputation is to break ties with Skye...

ok so we know that Skye is councilman Bendy White's who is Skye's real daddy? is it that Marc McGinnes dude who tried to save Cold Springs Bridge? and who once attended a city council meeting on stilts!! I think it is..Skye and Marc look alike....

here's a picture of Marc and Joe Armendariz hanging out in front of the County Administration Building a few years ago when Joe challenged me to a fight... I just laughed and he finally calmed down...see, us guys are always fighting us guys!

there's an alley in the back of my building....
but Bendy and Marc obviously didn't teach Skye how to fight..probably just spoiled him into believing he was someone special then BOOM!! face down in a gutter after a barroom brawl!
which is not necessarily a bad thing..sometimes ya gotta fight...but in this situation, the cops should never have been called and the bouncer and Skye should have handled the drunk dude who beat up should have been handled in house..or dans la maison

ok so now when the cops get involved in the drunk district of Santa Barbara, they have to deal with...DRUNKS!! drunks vomit, they piss, they fight, they fall, they scream, they pass out..they are a nuisance but they have to be dealt with..if they are aggressive the cops can use the safety gear they are issued (thanks union!!)...things like tasers, guns, batons, handcuffs....all are used by the cops depending on the situation...a plumber uses the right tools when necessary...he can't use a crescent wrench when the job calls a for a pipe wrench..

and the cops gear isn't for's to protect themselves and other people from the actions of a drunk or drunks....

SB cop..or your mommy??

drunk people are a big problem downtown, esp at night....when drunks cause problems, the cops are called to get control of the situation..sometimes they need to use the gear...if that causes fear among the drinking establisment, GOOD!!!

the bars should be levied an extra tax to deal with negative affects of the drug alcohol that they sell..there's no two ways about it....none of these issues would happen if people were sober....and remember before you call the cops, try to handle the situation on your own..the police aren't your mommy and daddy, you know

now, the moral of this story is the cops are everywhere...if you call them they will come...if you don't call them they will come...somebody somewhere always calls the cops... even when they don't...and if you and your bouncer can't handle one measley drunk, then by all means, call the cops!!

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

street fightin' man

everywhere I hear the sound of marching charging feet, boys...

ok so sometimes juries make mistakes and after reviewing the two cases of Wayne Scoles vs the city of Santa Barbara, the jury screwed up in the first case while the judge tossed the second case....basically Wayne harassed the Chief of Police, Cam Sanchez while Sanchez was attending a wedding at Shoreline's true that Wayne is a Jekyll and Hyde character and there's no doubt the jury should have found him guilty for disturbing the peace, but they let him off...if I were the chief and was attending a wedding and some hot head started screaming and swearing at me about crime, I'd have him arrested...

ok so the jury acquitted Wayne and instead of letting it go, he sues the city and the cops for civil rights violations but I guess the two judgements cancel each other out...

the point of all this is Wayne Scoles wants to be mayor but doesn't have the brains to make rational or logical decisions...

Wayne Scoles v. The City of Santa Barbara et al

Plaintiff:Wayne Scoles

DefendantsThe City of Santa Barbara, The Santa Barbara Police Department, Camerino Sanchez

issue: civil rights violation...

JUDGMENT by Judge Percy Anderson: Pursuant to the Courts Minute Order of October 4, 2010 granting the defendants Motion for Summary Judgment 27 , defendants City of Santa Barbara, Santa Barbara Police Department, and Police Chief Camerino Sanchez (collectively Defendants) shall have judgment in their favor against plaintiff Wayne Scoles (Plaintiff). Plaintiff takes nothing and that Defendants shall have their costs of suit. (MD JS-6, Case Terminated). (ir)


Arlington Tavern Wankers
ok so another dude with connections to the city council may sue the cops and city for civil rights violations..I don't know why people sue since they never win because the truth always outs them as liars

Arlington Tavern wankers

I saw this story in the Independent and some guy, Skye McGinnes who co-owns
a restaurant/bar, the Arlington Tavern and works at a French restaurant where the incident happened, is also councilman Bendy White's step-son..he got beat up and is trying to pin it on the cops....another crybaby 30 something  wanker!!

and using the beautiful Arlington Theater as a name sake for some slacker brat beerhounds should be a crime!!

this should be interesting to watch as the police brutality crowd will come out of hiding and support this guy...according to the story, he got into a fight with a drunk patron, went out back of the restaurant, and it looks like he got a can of whup-ass thrown at this face from the other dude....but the cops got involved and allegedly tased the barfly Skye while he was now the guy says the cops beat him up??

this makes no sense at is obvious the guy got beat up by another guy, but blamed the cops to save face, or what's left of it....

gee,  I wonder if alcohol played a part in all of this??

ok so he's Bendy's what..he got his ass kicked..he should have called the cops instead of engaging the other guy in a fight...and if you fight, you need to make sure you know how to punch...or you'll end up in an alley with blood all over you face...the other guy won...get over it

now as far as the elections go, you may dump Bendy White due to his family issues and write in Mike Self...

and do me a favor if you run for a seat on the council... read the city charter first!!