Tuesday, June 30, 2009

street fighting man..

white punks on dope..

take a bunch of gay punks from trailer parks, shave their heads, cover them with tatoos, stick them in a ring to pummel and/or try to have sex with each other and they call that martial arts?? Please, it's not martial arts..it's cock-fighting! Now, I got no problem with people fighting when they have to..
I've been in a few bar room brawls in my day..and I won..some guy was looking at my girlfriend like he wanted to steal her..so I got jealous and started talking shit..we took it outside and ended up in the alley..in the blood and guts and the beer..the bouncers pulled me off of him..and I was crowned "Hard as Nails"...so I get it..young men like to fight..but the Mixed Martial Arts show has no artistry to it..I've watched it to try and detect some..but there is none..all they do is end up on the floor with their legs wrapped around each other..it's embarassing! The great martial arts require no blood, just discipline and respect..boxing and wrestling, real wrestling, are great sports..sometimes bloody, but so is life.. and the blood is drawn for a reason..someone got out-punched not out-pummeled..hitting someone with a baseball bat is not a martial art!
I think the MMA guys need to come clean and stop claiming that they are anything more than money grubbing punks whose audience consists of punk asses from the Jesse James Hollywood crowd..these boys need to go grow up and get real jobs....like men do
The cock fight takes place Saturday, July 3, at Earl Warren Showgrounds...let this be the first and last time the Showgrounds get disrespected like this...

Monday, June 29, 2009

Merry Christmas!!!

don't look back.....

Santa Claus Lane played an important role in the Carpinteria Valley’s agricultural beginnings. This is significant because the area surrounding Santa Claus Lane hasn’t changed that much in the last fifty years thanks to agriculture. That simple fact makes it a pleasure to live here. The pleasure will turn to pain if we continue to over-develop and jam in too many people! The BIG URBAN BANG hasn’t hit us…yet.....

Thank Goodness for Agriculture!

The half-mile strip containing Santa’s Village was originally part of a Lima bean farm along the ocean side of the old three-lane highway. The owner, E.T. Auger, built a small juice stand there. The McKeon family bought the property in 1948. Needing an advertising theme, Patrick McKeon named the stand Santa Claus to conform with other nearby Santas like Santa Barbara and Santa Maria and used the theme to attract passing motorists. Brilliant idea!

During their first Christmas on the lane, his wife June dressed up as Santa and waved travelers to the juice stand (the good old days). June also invented the Big Yellow House in Summerland!She was a big, loud, no-nonsense yet kind woman. The next Christmas, a passing motorist with five children, no money and low on gas stopped at the stand. For $500, he offered to build a Santa Claus on the roof of the juice stand. His offer was accepted and a monument made out of chicken wire and plaster would soon rise from the lima bean fields like a demented Phoenix!

The large Santa grew out of the chimney, wired with a loudspeaker to call out to passing motorists "Welcome to Santa Claus!" People were much looser then and not as anal as they are today!
*A western novelty shop was added in 1951, a pottery shop in 1953, and a cafĂ© known as Santa’s Kitchen in 1954. A post office substation was established in the date shop where mail could be stamped "Santa Claus, California". In 1954, a four lane divided highway was built and the old coast highway became Santa Claus Lane. The area prospered as a thriving commercial enterprise until the 1970s when tastes changed and fewer travelers stopped on the lane. Many of the Santa themes and associated tourist attractions were removed, and the trend toward remodeling the lane in a Nantucket motif developed. Today, Santa Claus stands as one of the last reminders of Santa Claus Village.
The Santa Claus figure is a rare regional example of 1940’s roadside programmatic architecture. Automobile travel at the time, fostered by the construction of better highways, required the development of large, eye-catching roadside images that could be understood by a speeding motorist....
not any more....but development on the Lane has been held to a minimum...it's still a fun and funky place to spend some time..California casual 1950s style..

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Open Letter to Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger...

Dear Honorable Governor of California...

WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU??? Closing California State Parks is treasonous...you need to resign...and take Rob Lowe with you....

NEARLY a half-million people paid day-use and camping fees last year at Pfeiffer Big Sur State Park, with revenue at the park totaling almost $3 million — more than half of the income for the entire Monterey District of the California Department of Parks and Recreation.
But the district loses a lot of money every year, and that’s why Pfeiffer Big Sur State Park is one of 220 California state parks that could be closed under budget cuts proposed by Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Have you ever driven through Big Sur? Stopped at the parks..marveled at the history, the beauty? No? Well, why not? Do they have parks in Austria you Nazi piece of shit??? Are you insane? Do you have steroids on the brain? Closing Carpinteria State Park is another example of your piss poor leadership as governor? Would it kill you to raise a tax fer chrissakes..just DO IT..FUCK THE CONSERVATIVES..they are a bunch of pussies anyway..leave the parks alone....keep them open, reduce wasteful staff who cut down non-native trees, just keep the normal rangers/attendants..
President Ulysses S. Grant signed a bill to make Yellowstone the first National Park and President Roosevelt promoted conservation for a good reason..so Americans could enjoy nature during vacations..
so did Woody Guthrie
This land is your land, this land is my land
From California, to the New York Island
From the redwood forest, to the gulf stream waters
This land was made for you and me
As I was walking a ribbon of highway
I saw above me an endless skyway
I saw below me a golden valley
This land was made for you and me

When Theodore Roosevelt stepped off the train in the Dakota Territory for the first time, he was in search of adventure. The date was 08 Sep 1883, and the town that slept at 2:00 am was Little Missouri, a shoddy collection of buildings on the west bank of the river. The 24-year-old Roosevelt was bursting with anticipation about shooting a bison. A feat the took him 10 days to accomplish. Before returning to New York, just two weeks after he arrived, he entered into a partnership to raise cattle on the Maltese Cross Ranch. The next year he returned to the badlands and started a second open-range ranch, the Elkhorn. Theodore Roosevelt returned again over the next few years to live the life of a cowboy, explore, invigorate his body and to have the Little Missouri Badlands renew his spirit. Theodore Roosevelt wrote: "I would not have been President, had it not been for my experience in North Dakota."
Today, the colorful North Dakota badlands provides the scenic backdrop to the park which memorializes the 26th president for his enduring contributions to the conservation of our nation's resources. The area was first established as a Memorial Park in 1947. It gained National Park status in 1978. The Little Missouri River has shaped this 70,448-acre park which is home to a variety of plants and animals.
Big Sur..Big Carp
so Arnold,work at a park this summer..come down from the ranch and lend a hand..
oh...and bring Maria..I'll show her what to do...

Sunday, June 7, 2009

when I was 17....

No Way, Jose..

I went to snap some pictures of our local gang's artwork, when I spied a swan! The channelized creek was teeming with life, despite the lowlife who sprayed the bridge... a member of Carpinteria Beautiful drove up and said they would clean it up soon..they are great..keeping the town litter-free and cleaning up after the little gang shitheads...

now, this all made me think of our city councilman Jose Armendariz. He came up with the bright idea of a fireworks show in Carp at the beach-end of Linden Ave...he stated the reason was that Santa Barbara was unsafe for families due to the gangs during the 4th of July. This was a cheap political stunt that fizzled after the City of Carp said no. Jose forgot about the permits, logistics, state parks budgets, cost and all those other things he should know before suggesting such a silly thing....here's an idea: how many Santa Barbarans have been killed by drunk drivers after eating tacos? Maybe we should hold Fiesta in Carp!!
Super Freak... 
Well, I wasn't gonna say anything, but I'm a big fan of the old westerns and horror flicks with guys like John Carradine who spiced up the stories with their quirkiness and campiness...
So when his son died recently, I was touched..not that I was a big fan of David Carradine..but the details that emerged were not mentioned in the Kinsey Report...I mean, he was found naked and hanged, with rope around the genitals and neck! It was a sex thing??
The idea being that if you cut off oxygen supply to the brain, the sex is better..unless you wait too long and kill yourself! aaaarrhhh!
This theory baffles me...when I get less oxygen to the brain, two things happen: I blog more often and I get a headache..so sex seems not to be the answer..maybe an Excedrin? And the headache excuse has been used for ages when you've really grown tired of your girlfriend or boyfriend..not tonight honey, I got a headache...which really means: not anymore honey, you make me ill! Time to move on!
But I would have told Carradine not to do that weird stuff and try loud girls instead ..the screamers....they are ten times better than rope and they won't kill you, generally...
she's super freaky!
hey..speaking of screamers... Gina Perry's back at the Daily Sound and this is a quote from her latest column, where she picks on kids again! "Given the opportunity, any ten-year-old could correctly identify the prevailing economic theory. Unfortunately, ten-year-olds aren’t given this opportunity in California’s school system: Current trends indicate they should be."
I smoked my first cigarette at ten, and for girls I had a bad yen, and I had quite a ball, when I was young....