Saturday, June 30, 2012


Three waitresses all wearing Black diamond earrings
Talking about zombies And Singapore slings...

The News-Press has some guy named Michael Cervin doing food reviews and he picks the Paradise Store and Grill on Highway 154 .... Cervin says "new owners assumed control of the lone outpost four years ago"  and it has a "down home quality"...then he goes on to tell readers that there is "nothing particularly remarkable about the burritos"...and that you may want to indulge in the fried onion rings, but since they don't taste like onions, they may not be worth the price...dumbass foodie wannabe, geez, does he know who owns the Paradise Store? Priscilla Susman!! the lady who caused havoc on the  Highway 154 when she drove drunk , caused a 5-car pileup and killed someone, that's who! a real down home kinda gal!!

Cervin must have read this little blurb and is totally oblivious to the drunk driving story...

When Mark Presley, who is at least 6’3” tall and sports a full beard and long hair drawn back in a ponytail, retired from 27 years of teaching preschool, he knew he was ready to try running a business of his own. But what kind? That was decided when Mark and his long time girlfriend Priscilla Susman learned that the Paradise Store was for sale. They bought it and went into business together in March of 2008.
Priscilla, who is tall and blonde, still works as an engineer, inspector and project manager in the construction business, but she hopes at some point to spend full-time at the store with Mark. In the meantime, she’s there on weekends, holidays, vacations and whenever else she can fit it in. She loves it as much as Mark does.

the Dude Abides??

next I see a story about Nippers's old pal Buddy Winston...Bud used to have a column in the News-Press back in the Dr. Laura days...Buddy I guess is a comedian...what now everyone is a comedian? but it appears that Buddy, a "Santa Barbara fixture", has moved to the Andes because  "the food is great, the water's clean, it's safe and there's no mosquitos"..hey that's the reason I moved to Carpinteria!!

and then I see I can lease a Range Rover, the favorite SUV of well-heeled drunk drivers, for $979 per month...what a deal!! geez, that's more than my that's funny!!!

Friday, June 29, 2012

panic in Detroit


ok so Obamacare withstood the Supreme Court test and now all those health insurance agencies that keep raising the premiums for their investors' benefit are gonna have to start thinking about serving people instead of ripping them off...and doctors may have to drive Fords instead of BMWs.... and weepy drunk John Boehner will try to repeal the law....and Michele Bachman chimed in with her raccoony eye-shadow dripping all down her crazy-ass face...oh, the humanity of it all!!

and the City of Stockton filed for bankruptcy...when you spend money recklessly as a lifestyle choice or because of politics, you may be surprised when the well runs dry...and that's what happened in Stockton..the conservatives will blame the unions and pensions without looking at the incredible mismanagement of that city.... The working-class port city -- from where many of California's agricultural exports set sail -- lived largely on credit during economic boom times. The city borrowed millions of dollars for ambitious, eye-catching projects in the mid-2000s. Up went a sports arena, hotel and promenade. The city booked a Neil Diamond concert as a kickoff to better times. Houses in sprawling tracts sold quickly and with high mortgages.

When the bust came, few places fell as hard as Stockton. It has the second-highest rate of foreclosures in the nation. Property tax money dried up.....there is no excuse for such fiscal irresponsibility...

and then we got the Daily Sound seemingly in perpetual trouble financially...that's what happens when you borrow money from Montecito Bank and will end up homeless and destitute..

and even former billionaire Wendy McCaw can't pay her lawyers!
10/01/2012:8:30 am 1401999 Cappello & Noel LLP vs Ampersand Publishing LLC et al Colleen K Sterne SB5 1) Case Management Conference Civil-SB
 keeping an eye on the world going by my window....

Thursday, June 28, 2012

the animals

oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood...

well I was sitting in the barber shop reading SPIN magazine and see Eric Burdon doing some shows in the Seattle area...with a bunch of other bands like an all day festival... good for him..great singer and I love the Animals stuff...Monterey...ohh God..I think that maybe I'm dreamin'.....

but...what about the other animals...people are excusing Wendy McCuckoo's illegal behavior because she loves animals and gives money to nonprofits so they can continue not working...but Wendy is a hypocrite having given money to the Center for Biological Diversity which supported the slaughter of pigs, owls, hawks, and other species on the Channel Islands in the name of "biodiversity"...ok, I've said this all before but I know that the Channel Island "restoration" is a huge scam because the Parks Service and Nature Conservancy are propagandists....they are restoring nothing and have caused havoc on the islands..

now, I suspect that the golden eagles are back after they were trapped and removed.... the Parks Service said they didn't belong on the islands and so they rounded them up and shipped them up north and said they would never return as long as the pigs are killed off....but and the golden eagle of course flew now the Parks people are blaming the golden eagles for killing some foxes...the Channel Islands fox was not endangered, but it may be now...the Bald Eagles are being re-introduced to the islands but they too like eating foxes! with the Parks Service and Nature Con, the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing!!

illegal eagles
Yesterday the State of California arrested several pairs of American Bald Eagles that researchers released into the wild near the Channel Islands. Authorities charged the birds with conspiracy to kill endangered island foxes and rare seabirds for purposes of eating them.
The state's case was built on the research of Seth D. Newsome, a researcher with the department of zoology and physiology at the University of Wyoming, who determined that the Bald Eagles could begin eating the endangered animals should the availability of the bird's regular fish-based diet change.
Environmentalists celebrated the arrests saying that if the Bald Eagles refused to abide by federal endangered species laws, then the birds have abdicated their own protected status.

and from the NPS site:
"An unusual incident occurred in late May in the bald eagle nest at Pelican Harbor on Santa Cruz Island when bald eagle webcam viewers observed one of the adults bringing an island fox carcass into the nest. It is not known whether the adult bald eagles preyed upon this fox or whether they recovered a dead fox carcass. Bald eagles are known to primarily feed on fish, seabirds, and marine mammal carcasses and it is not their natural tendency to prey on terrestrial mammals."

nothing unusual about a bald eagle killing and eating a fox..what's unusual is putting webcam in an eagle's nest!!! such disrespect...

Basically, bald eagles used to eat the carrion of other seabirds — plentiful back before the DDT pollution. But now that food source isn’t so easy to come by. That’s why Seth Newsome, the lead researcher on the study, says a bigger bald eagle population could mean some unexpected bad news: “We think that the introduced eagles could scavenge seal or seal lion carrion, exert predation pressure on a threatened but recovering local seabird population, or even prey on the endangered island fox.”

According to the L.A. Times, this news is based on “an extensive analysis of the shifting diets of the opportunistic foragers from the Pleistocene era, about 20,000 years ago, to the late 1960s.” Old birdie bones show that bald eagles often changed what they ate to adapt to ecosystem changes — which means the newly recovered bird population could start nibbling on island foxes.

birds aren't vegans, they're birds and they will eat whatever is available...and if you die in the desert, they'll eat you! the FACT is the NPS and Nature Con have killed untold number of animals in the name of "biodiversity"...and they have plenty of money to continue this species cleansing charade ....

the animal rights phonies may mean well...."but people always mean well! they cluck their thick tongues and shake their heads and suggest, oh, so very delicately.” .....

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

the girl with the faraway eyes

well I did go into SB but this time I was prepared..gas mask ..check...hazmat suit..check...rations..check..inflatable dingy..check...pepper spray...check...oxygen tanks..check

so I get on the highway and although Caltrans is slowing things down as usual, I managed to get to my destination, Tri County Produce in good time....of course I passed the Bird Refuge and I think you people complain too much..the smell was nearly gone replaced with an organic oxygenated mustiness and there were delightful ripples in the beautiful bird lake...the sun was shining, people were looks like Jill's boat trick worked! but for how long? how could you have ever doubted Jill?? shame on you!!! now you need to join hands and figure it out so I don't have to go thru so much trauma when I visit your city..ok??

however, the problem needs a permanent remedy because apparently the stench killed a Zoo giraffe..allegedly the giraffe was old and sick and the zookeepers put it down, but according to a pet psychic friend of mine, the giraffe said the Bird Lake smell did him see, giraffes have huge lungs and they need fresh air, but those two weeks of being gassed were too much for him...and I thought people in SB were such animal lovers...I guess that doesn't include should ALL be ashamed of yourselves...

and there's Jill answering the SB city council's concern about the Bird Refuge....Jill said her hands are tied because of all the regulations and endangered species and the Bird Refuge is a protected wetlands...well, I don't know about all that...the only endangered species at the Bird Refuge are the folks who have to live close by!! but like I say, it wasn't bad at all on Tuesday...

so keep up the aeration and moving the water a moves and is naturally aerated as it flows over the waves..always moving..that's the key!

supply and demand
those are the rules and you need to adjust to them...apparently the demand for the News-Press is getting skinnier by the day... usually, when I try to read the News-Press online, they say I need a subscription to get to the article, now they have an explanation of what's free and what's not...

As always, all online, non-local articles (National, World, Entertainment, etc.) and Obituaries are free for all users. However, in order to view local articles online (Local, Life, Sports, Scene, etc.) one must either have an online registration or a subscription to the print version of the newspaper. Online monthly registration is only $0.20 per day or $6.00 per month. If you do not wish to buy an online monthly registration, you may also purchase this article for $2.50 without a registration. Click here to proceed to the login, registration or article purchase page

why is the News-Press trying to hit me up for spare change??

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

poor side of town

kid: mommy do we have to go into Santa Barbara today?? mommy: yes dear, I have to shop at Marshall's...kid: but I don't wanna go!! mommy: why not?? kid: because it smells like grandma!!!

Lake Putrid
today is Tuesday and normally I drive into Santa Barbara to get some stuff at Tri County Produce...but I was seriously considering not doing it..why? well, TCP is an open air maket and not too far from the Zoo and Lake Putrid.. ...I think my past visits are starting to affect my health...I think the toxic vomititious Bird Refuge is infusing the apples at TCP with toxic vomititious yuckiform bacteria ....please bring back the homeless people... they smell better!!

the Curse of the Miramar

next, everytime I go into SB I have to pass through the slums of Montecito...
you know the place..
the seedy remains of the
Miramar mock the wealthy there who are always gone somewhere's like they buy big expensive properties and never live in them..what's up with that? apparently Caltrans has given up on this stretch of highway..the place looks horrible!!! it's obvious that something super-natural is going on here and I call it the "Curse of the Miramar"....Ghost Adventurers should pay this place a visit and do a show on who is really holding up the progress in Montecito....

Skinny Tuxedo
well, I see that Judge Brian Hill grew a pair and fined DUI lawyer Darryl Genis for odd behavior in the court room in a recent criminal trial....Darryl of course works very hard to keep drunk drivers on the road and is absolutely paranoid about the local police dept...according to Darryl, everyone in the police dept is engaged in a conspiracy against his drunk driving clients...and I'm still waiting for the latest Peter Lance series in the News-Press..waiting....buffering....waiting...

Hot Tamale
for a limited time only, I am offering amnesty to illegal Mexican women between the ages of 20 and 25....

Monday, June 25, 2012

open range

if dogs run free, why can't we??

there's one thing that News-Press editorial writers have in common..from Travis Armstrong to Lanny Ebenstein and now Andy Caldwell....they're all liars!! pathological liars! free-grazers!

Lanny's role as News-Press editorial writer has been diminished now and he is nearly finished after beating the dead horse of public unions to death over and over again...Lanny spent a year or two repeating himself about how unions and public employees are bankrupting cities...Lanny was so certain he could solve the problem, he had a slew of anti-worker initiatives he tried to put on the November 2012 ballot...none of them qualified due to lack of you know why, Lanny?
because we don't like free grazers around grazin'...I'm Scottish and I've built my life up with my own two hands and don't take kindly to free grazers who come in and try to steal from the working class..this here blog ain't writ by no tin star bought and paid for, no sir! now, get your free grazin' pens and pencils and move them off the News-Press editorial pages by morning or I'll set the dogs on you....

public workers didn't cause the global financial the end of the Bush presidency, the DOW was around 7000 and banks and giant corporations were getting taxpayer bailouts... IT WAS A MESS!!...things have since calmed down with the DOW above 12000, able to absorb the ups and downs..and the banks are paying some of the money back..

the free market ain't so free after long as guys like Jamie Dimon of JP Morgan are allowed to run corporations, we all will be in trouble.. we waste time with congressional hearings as yet another reckless CEO and Senate Banking Committee just keep jerkin' each other off!! pathetic!!!

but back to the editorials... I laughed when Andy Caldwell claimed he was "pro-union"! hahaah.....he was analyzing the recent election between Steve Pappas and Doreen Farr..actually the election was between Doreen Farr and fat Nancy Crawford-Hall! but Andy claims Nancy was not really helping Pappas and her only agenda is to stomp the Chumash....however, the unions who got Doreen elected have an agenda and now Doreen is their puppet....this is by no means a thoughtful argument by Andy....just the same conservative script he's been trying to sell over the years...

well I don't know what Andy does for a living....what real work he does...but since he's on the editorial page and on Wendy's radio station, he's free grazer ....And there ain't no free-graze cattle gonna take the feed off my cattle on this range.... and come sunrise, you hitch up your wagon and get your damn free-graze cattle moving and keep them moving till you're out of Fort Harmon country!

Sunday, June 24, 2012

I beg your pardon...

I never promised you a rose garden

sunshine in June is a rarity
but Saturday was rare..
warm sunny breezy...
so why not go for a bike ride and take it all in....we care about our environment in Carp unlike the folks in Santa Barbara who have stinky water and they're suing each other and well just acting like spoiled little brats most of the time...

so off I go...the rose flowers in the fields look so pretty..the blue ocean water is a real refuge for the motorists passing by...they can get off the highway for a while, take a swim and have a burger at Padaro Grill...they can't do that in Santa Barbara because once they get to the Bird Refuge, they gag from the stink and keep motoring!! it's shameful how Santa Barbara just doesn't care about anyone else..they can't even tell they are starting to stink it up....everyone is talking and laughing at you so called environmentalists, but no one will visit you unless you take a bath or something...that's a metaphor for the Bird Refuge..PEEYOU!!! you got the Funk Zone and now you got the Stink Zone!!!

ok so anyway things smell sooooo nice here in Carp....the Star Jasmine is wonderfully fragrant...I ride down the road and everyone is my friend today, except you stinky gross Santa Barbara people...oh look, the Seaside Nursery place put ugly bark on the ground to smother weeds and dirt (and everything else) but the Castor Bean plant, the sage castor bean, is back having pushed up through the bark...HURRAH!! maybe Seaside should move to Santa Barbara next to the Bird Refuge!

hey they're playing polo I watch a while and there's a chick laying pussy-side down on the grass..I couldn't determine what she was doing as she was blocked a bit by a car, but I did get a good look at her ass.... I called out to her and struck a pose, then while still on the ground she started to move her legs in a come hither kinda manner!! (see pic)

still waters do indeed run deep..but not at the Bird Refuge!

Saturday, June 23, 2012

burning down the house

cool babies....

I went up to Mountain Drive to check out the Tea Fire rebuilding and saw lots of big houses rising up out of the ashes...huge stucco and metals buildings...Coyote Circle looks rebuilt...up along the ridge there's plenty of contractors any reports that people aren't being allowed to rebuild appear to be BOGUS!!

it's funny though how some people blame gov't for everything...Michelle Malkin is a perfect example of irrrational hatred of gov't...Michelle has a column in the News-Pess and it always contains some drivel about union thugs and public workers..Michelle lives in Colorado and she's told us before how proud she is of all the privatizing they've done there...she doesn't need any gov't interfence in her neck of the woods except now since fires are raging close by...

fires in Colorado, Arizona and Texas...Gov Rick Perry prayed for rain but never got it..the fires kept raging I guess because Satan is in charge now....and Michelle is somehow blaming President Obama for the Colorado fires! for the lightning strike that started the fire...Obama caused that!

she wants the gov't to supply more planes and come save her town..the fire is getting too close to her for comfort...she wants all those union loving goons she keeps talking about, the firefighters, to make special considerations for her...and she blames Obama for allowing a 62 year old grandmother to die...

what Michelle doesn't mention is facts...facts about the weather conditions, the 1600 firefighters (union thugs) on the ground and in the air, the terrain, the conditions like high hot winds that California is very familiar with..all the air power in the world won't stop Mother Nature..and couldn't possibly save the grandma: On Monday, authorities found the body of Linda Steadman, 62, in the ashes of her remote cabin on the edge of the Roosevelt National Forest. She lived alone...

so we got Michelle Malkin trying to exploit a natural disaster for political purposes....and failing miserably to draw any logical conclusions about Obama being to blame...and the ever-shrinking News-Press carries this drivel from this little bucktoothed gooky gal!!!

I hope her house burns down.....

Friday, June 22, 2012

ooh ooh that smell..

can't you smell that smell....

well I went into SB again to check out the Bird Refuge..the stink sitch is getting due press and publicity now... I took a closer look this time..stood on the dock and talked with the city boat mechanic...we talked about the water issue and watched the boat do its manuevers around the Bird Lake ...the smell is still strong esp at the water's edge and after about fifteen minutes I had to leave..the crap was hurting in my lungs...those guys should have a SCBA!

this could be the most polluted body of water in the world but where's Channelkeeper? why aren't they testing this water? I'm sure the numbers would go thru the roof and I know this water migrates to the beach in various ways...maybe Channelkeeper is too busy throwing fundraising parties and filing frivolous lawsuits....

and seems so many leadership changes and politics at the city Parks Dept has left the Bird Refuge in's really silly because this area is cool and should bea tourist attraction instead of repellant...and for a bird refuge there are scant few birds here...the Parks brass pulling in over $100000/year need to get on the ball here and stop dicking around with the weeds!! the foul odors were not always here and seemed to become a problem in the 1990s when the restaurant across the street really complained the stink was hurting his business...every year since the problem has continued in summer!!

then I went over to the beach to air out the stench on my person...and I noticed some folks enjoying themselves...why should they have to endure the Bird Refuge toxic plume?? these young people..these beautiful young healthy kids?? don't you care about them too, Ms. Channelkeeper???

then I hear of some guy seemingly in a big hurry to drop some big concrete balls in the ocean as artificial reefs....I don't like artificial reefs in huge numbers and it appears a whole lot of people are dumping a whole lot of trash in the ocean to "improve" fish habitat...

apparently fishermen don't like the no-fishing zones that have become law...well I don't either..I think you should be allowed to fish anywhere anytime..some of the methods the guys use, like nets and trawling should be like the rest of us, with a rod and reel!! but the idea to get more fish by littering the ocean with giant concrete balls is absurd!!

Washington-based Ocean Conservancy suggests that while some projects may benefit some species of fish, others represent an inexpensive way to dispose of trash, which can introduce toxins and other pollutants into the ocean. “Although most artificial reefs offer potential habitat for certain kinds of marine life, these are not always happy homes. Artificial reefs can cause damage to natural habitats during their construction and can displace naturally occurring species and habitats,” says the Ocean Conservancy web site. “They also tend to concentrate fish unnaturally, making them more vulnerable to overfishing.”

if you're out diving do you want to run into a minefield of big concrete balls on the ocean floor?? it's LITTER!!

but the guy behind the push is Chris Goldblatt, the CEO of the Fish Reef Project and according to him, droppping concrete balls in the ocean will "restore" the ocean! and he wants your money to do all this..and he even quotes the Nature Conservancy : 75% of the world's reefs are damaged or in peril. Man made reef structure is a viable solution" -- The Nature Conservancy

remember them? the Channel Islands fiasco and in bed with British Petroleum...

Donation options
All donations will be tax deductible once we receive our final IRS nonprofit approval in a few months. Donate any amount of money and receive a free Fish Reef Bumper sticker and welcome letter. If you would like us to debit your credit card for certain amount monthly please indicate this on check out.

oh shit... not another nonprofit!!!

The Fish Reef Project
News Alert: Fish Reef project will do a final raffle
drawing on July 15th with more than $7000 in prizes.
Buy tickets now at Blue Water Hunter Dive shop in
Santa Barbara harbor.

The Fish Reef Project is the next great ocean enhancement and restoration movement. The Fish Reef Project will turn empty seafloor into thriving marine ecosystems that will be home, breeding and feeding grounds to millions of marine mammals, sea birds, turtles, fish, lobster, abalone, scallops, marine algae and much more.

barren sea floors are not really empty at all....there's plenty of life beneath the sand...and there's simply no reason to fill them up with giant concrete condos for fish....the ocean is not a dump...these guys..the Fish Reef Project ...are now on my radar

Thursday, June 21, 2012

cinnamon girl

you see us together, chasing the moonlight

well I read the news and it appears Das Williams is losing it..I'm still with ya Das but appearing in a commercial with Mike Stoker for Richard's Import Auto? the gatorade thing? the International Surf Day they surf in Saudi Arabia, Das?? the non-profit Surfrider CEO encouraging people to call in sick to go surfing...well when you do things like that, your co-workers have to pick up your slack!

then some UCSB chick got an award for her study about female pubic this falls under the Vagina Policy that most women have and that's ok..that's wanna flash your pussy at me I'm not gonna complain one iota..but I uh...I umm..well, I forgot what I was gonna say.....

oh yeah..I'm pro-pussy..some of my happiest times were spent inside one...or ten thousand or so...I lost count....after mom..

I so went into Santa Barbara today and saw these Asian pussies walking up State Street...私わ中国人です!!! yeah baby!!

even the church door looks kinda like an upsidedown pussy, don't you agree??

hey it looks like SB Creeks gal Jill Zackary finally is doing something about the Bird Refuge stench...she rented a little boat...a little man in a boat..get it??!! a little boat to putt putt around the lake...I guess she's thinking the propeller will increase aeration and thus O2 levels in the water....I'm afraid it won't do much need to AERATE by exchanging the water with a pump or something...right tool for the right job..(get it???)

I know what..Jill meet me tonight at the Bird Refuge... and we'll chase the moonlight you and me...

Ten silver saxes,
a bass with a bow
The drummer relaxes
and waits between shows
for his cinnamon girl....

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

ooh la la

I wish that I knew what I know now, when I was younger...

now I love birds but there is one birdie I think is getting way too much's a little birdie that apparently can't get along on its own, so the gov't and non-profit environmental groups have adopted is called the Snowy Plover...

if you can't walk on the beach, can you blame the Plover?? no...but you can blame the people who are hell bent on protecting and rescuing it to death..I think if we left the bird alone, it could adapt and would be just fine..but people won't leave the plover alone....they fence it in, make laws to protect it, close off large portions of beach access...they've been doing this for years and still the plover is "endangered" ?? I don't think so..the snowy plover is the poster bird for environmentalists gone mental....

geez, I can't even remove a sparrow's mud nest from my condo due to crazy bird laws...these house sparrows are like little annoying dogs with wings...and they're messy..and yet, I could go to jail for removing the nest!! but tonight I got a plan....

any bird that nests on the beach will be subject to assaults..from nature, dogs, people, tides....the National Audubon Society cites people, Off Road Vehicles, and unleashed dogs as the main reasons for the decline of plover populations.....

hmmmm..unleashed dogs..well maybe it's a good idea to keep Fido off the beach..Fido is a freekin nuisance because you people have turned your dogs into neurotic pussies....and because there are simply too many dogs around....everywhere I go there's a dog...if only I could train my vulture friends to swoop down and pick 'em off, I would be a happy man!!

and if dogs are not allowed on the beach, their sicko owners will be so traumatized they'll have no reason to go there either... so you could conceivably kill two birds with one stone only in this case you could save two birds!

but realistically, the sea change in the American psyche that has people talking with their dogs, holding funerals for their dogs, sleeping with their dogs, stuffing their dogs, taking their hounds to dinner and otherwise odd behaviors leaves me no hope that anything will change vis a vis dogs...I'm getting pretty fed up with all these garlic eaters... these plover killers...

so what will become of the plover?? I don't know....but how about that Byrdland....ooh la la!!

Tuesday, June 19, 2012


on a Sunday afternoon....

well, I couldn't believe my eyes....I've seen them soar for years..coming down from the hills to the marsh and all points in between...they glide effortlessly, surveying the landscape for dead things to eat..they are turkey vultures...always so dialed in and professional...and dedicated.....wild...

so I'm driving around and turn on Cravens Lane and look in my rearview mirror and up on the ranch road above Cravens I see some big black things in the middle of the street, by the nurseries and farm I turn around and park off 192..and get out and creep up to the intersection..and up a little bird on the fence...looking at me like I was no big deal...very casual....that's the closest I've been to a turkey vulture and I was...well......I was a turkey vulture for a minute....part of the clan....the black was an honor!

two more birds on the ground, eating a rabbit or something (Macy??)..and a few more vultures flying low with that giant wing span like Rodan, circling the feast..

I watched them for about five minutes before a car came down from the hill and the vultures scattered...but they'll be back and I hope they are roosting big time close by, somewhere in the trees behind the ranches...

I always love seeing them..they are just such awesome birds!!

good lovin'
so I'm waiting for the new Peter Lance series in the News-Press supposedly about the corrupt SB cops..still waiting... hey Pete if you're still looking for a mate and ain't working out, why not put an ad in the News-Press Lifestyle section....
"I Demand A Mate" ......who will dare...

please contact Peter Lance c/o the Santa Barbara News-Press..if you dare

Monday, June 18, 2012

just a gigolo

everywhere I goes on without me

well I was reading the News-Press and on the front page at the very top was a quote by southern hick hillbilly religious huckster Billy Graham extolling the virtues of fathers..ok...

next we got Andy Caldwell the, de facto editorial writer, fretting about the decline of America because the family unit is falling apart and dad can't handle all started with women's lib and the 1960s sexual revolution...maybe Andy needs to look at the roaring twenties a little closer!!

Andy is one of those regressive conservatives who is very concerned about your vagina policy.....leave these guys in a ditch and let the vultures take care of them..that's what I say!!

next we have society airhead Erin Graffy giving her report on Nipper's disco party that Wendy paid for...the only reason Nipper is getting any press is because he is living in sin with his sugar mama Wendy! I find this amazing.....what a bunch of boobs these folks are! don't they have any sense?? they may come to their senses when the gravy train leaves town...

but Nipper parlayed a nightclub into a career as a bottled water expert and publisher of the Santa Barbara News-Press..he did this of course by being the boyfriend of Wendy McCaw, who owns the News-Press..she got her money of course from Craig McCaw, the cell phone billionaire that Wendy divorced...but didn't divorce his money!! so naturally, I don't trust these me they are nothing more than carrion...buzzard bait...
sorry Wendy, I meant to stamp an (&) ampersand on your head, but messed up!
but I was thinking about the guest list and was grieved that Steve Martin's name was on it....Steve's a very talented guy and "Planes Trains and Automobiles" was a masterpiece...pairing him and comedy giant John Candy was pure genuis...

but I don't think John Candy would have attended Nipper's party and I didn't see that Steve Martin attended in any of the reports..just the usual suspects like Montecito Journal's Jim Buckley and Richard some other wannabe society types...

now the irony in this is Andy Caldwell in his editorial was bemoaning the breakdown of the family, the hedonism of society, and yet Andy works for two of the biggest hedonists in the world...Wendy and Nipper!!

I think all these people should stick a cork in it!!

Sunday, June 17, 2012


are for kids

well car-surfing has been in the news lately ....doing tricks on moving cars...even though it's dangerous it looks like a scream...Mitt Romney's dog car-surfed on the I figured me and my rabbit would give it a go...

I have a pet rabbit named Macy and I asked him if he'd like to go surfing with me and he said "cool"..

so we hopped in my truck and took off...then I told Macy I had something else in mind and his ears perked up... I axed him would he like to surf my truck..I'd put him on the hood and whiz down Highway 150 by Bates Road near the Rincon so he could feel the wind in his face..feel what it's like to really be anyway Macy was game and I pulled over at Bates Road and put him on the hood, fastened his paws to the windshield wiper and off we went down the Bunny Trail....

I zoomed down the hill and Macy was laughing and chattering, ears pulled straight back by the wind looking like a demented hood ornament...then a freaking bug hit the windshield and wouldn't you know it... splat.....yellowy goo blocking my I hit the mist button and turned on the windshield wiper..and...oh no..SHIT!! MACY!!! Macy was gone...I screeched to a halt and looked back and there he was lying in the middle of the road....flung off hard by the windshield wipers!!

he looked up and me and said..."asswipe" and then died...
I put him over to the side of the road and went home...

more stuff like this will happen if you vote for Mitt Romney...

Saturday, June 16, 2012


let's party like it's 1999!!

the only difference between Tony DeNunzio and Lanie Tyrone Richardson is Tony hasn't killed anyone yet....Richardson is the chronic drunk who was driving when the two girls were car surfing...I tell ya, if they could bottle and sell some of the stupidity in Santa Barbara county, you could solve the budget is hard but it's alot harder if you're dumb....there's many questions that remain..why were they car surfing and what was a black man doing in Montecito??? let's call a spade a spade here..when I was a road warrior for the O'Jays in 1970s, the black guys on our crew called Richardson types "Country Niggas"...uneducated got your white trash and you got your country niggas...I think that's very appropriate in this case and Dr. Laura know what I'm talkin 'bout!

and where are all the fluffymuffywuffies coming to the defense of drunk driver Richardson, who is a big fat ugly stupid looking black dude? why isn't Noozhawk telling his side of the story? because he's a big fat ugly black dude that's why...

so the jury in New Orleans sided with Kevin Costner and against loser Stephen Baldwin over the investment issue...Baldwin sold his shares in Costner's company, which cleans up ocean oil spills, and sued for $17 million claiming Costner duped him ito selling early...I don't know where the buck stops with Steve!!
so we go from ugly black dudes to ugly white dudes... according the Montecito Journal gossip columnist Richard Mineards, who boasts about having worked for Rupert Murdoch's sleazy corrupt gossip mag empire which is now imploding due to the hacking scandal..according to Mineards, Nipper celebrated the 30th anniversary of his 1980's nightclub Nippers....this is back in the Olive Mill Bistro days... I would stop in the Bistro for a beer, listen to Omega and have some fun with the ladies since I lived a few blocks away...I'd see John Carradine sitting at a booth, all arthritic and bent over a was kinda sad considering he was in so many cool and campy westerns, playing the eccentric...

I never went into Nippers but heard all the rumors about cocaine being served with champagne..not my kinda place..there's a Mexican restaurant there now and Nipper rented it out for the party!

anyway, his party list included Princess Stephanie of Morroco, or Monaco or it begins with an "M" I know that much...and  Steve Martin, Robin Williams, Michael Douglas..not sure who actually showed up from that list but at least three are druggies of some sort...maybe that explains why the News-Press offspring were recently busted for drugs..not exactly anything to celebrate....

party on!!

Friday, June 15, 2012

don't let it bring you down...

it's only castles burning....

first on the scene with KREEP news...your news!!

I heard sirens and saw cop cars and fire engines whizzing by my place, so I checked it out...looks like some rice burners got crunched up at Santa Monica/ 101 in Carp....huge traffic jam....

injuries no doubt...but didn't see any blood...
this is Mick Von Caw reporting for KREEP News

the royal scam

this from the Channelkeeper website:

"Channelkeeper is pleased that we were able to work cooperatively with the City to forge an effective and proactive solution to Santa Barbara’s sewage pollution problem. Our agreement is a win-win for the citizens of Santa Barbara and the environment.

As part of the agreement, the City will also fund a project to raise awareness, provide training and install Low Impact Development features such as rain gardens on numerous properties throughout Santa Barbara, which will help to further reduce pollution to local creeks and beaches."

the city will fund rain gardens on various properties to reduce pollution to local creeks?? WTF is this?? are these chicks insane??

What is a raingarden?
A raingarden is designed and planted to capture rainwater so it can penetrate deep into the soil to help protect and restore water quality. This helps to reduce the amount of stormwater runoff that would otherwise take pollutants from the air, our yards, and the streets and carry them into our lakes, rivers, and wetlands. A raingarden is a great way for homeowners or business owners to reduce the amount of runoff flowing from our properties. By capturing this polluted water and allowing it to slowly soak into the ground, we can mimic natural systems that have historically purified our waters through a process of filtering underground. Raingardens are also a way to beautify your property. Using perennial plants that require little maintenance and can thrive without fertilizer or pesticides, we enhance the value and attractiveness of our neighborhood and community.

how did the city agree to all this nonsense??

reduce the runoff from your property by retaining rainwater and planting native plants?? well, if you live in a high water table area you don't want water to stay on your property, you want it to run off.....water flows downhill...retaining water around your house when it should be draining off can damage the foundation!!

ok... so is councilman Dale Francisco right about the "cottage industry of environmental groups and their lawyers suing municipalities"....

here's some interesting info I found while I was looking for Channelkeeper's annual report for the financials..hmmm, they seem to have some sort of privacy policy and the info is not showing itself....

cottage cheese
Subsidized by federal tax dollars, environmental groups are filing a blizzard of lawsuits that no longer yield significant gain for the environment and sometimes infuriate federal judges and the Justice Department. During the 1990s, the U.S. Treasury paid $31.6 million in legal fees for environmental cases filed against the government.Those who know the environment best -- the scientists who devote their careers to it -- say environmental groups often twist fact into fantasy to serve their agendas.

There is no clearinghouse for information about environmental groups, no oversight body watching for abuse and assessing job performance. What information exists is scattered among many sources, including the Internal Revenue Service, philanthropic watchdogs, the U.S. Department of Justice and nonprofit trade associations.

Sift through their material and here is what you find: Donations are at flood stage. In 1999, individuals, companies and foundations gave an average of $9.6 million a day to environmental groups, according to the National Center for Charitable Statistics, which monitors nonprofit fund raising.
Under California law, individuals and organizations bringing suit under the environmental statutes are entitled to keep a significant portion of the monetary awards and civil penalties for themselves. This has become something of a cottage industry in California, where environmental groups financially support themselves through the filing and award of damages from suits such as these.

nonprofits giving to nonprofits...
the Fund for Santa Barbara gave Channelkeeper $16000 to support the lawsuit against the City of Sanata Barbara
Santa Barbara Channelkeeper / Clean Water Advocacy and Enforcement Program - $8,000 per year for 2 years (Year 2)
Support to lobby for updating sewage infrastructure in the City of Santa Barbara and reducing plastic bag use county-wide

private businesses give to Channelkeeper...non-profit???

Verizon VelocitySanta Barbara Channelkeeper will receive a sizeable donation from Verizon when you order new qualifying residential Verizon products, including Verizon Internet (FIOS Digital Voice). To order, call Verizon at 1-888-299-0132 and provide Santa Barbara Channelkeeper's code # 22569.

Eco Wireless Channelkeeper has joined the Eco Wireless Nonprofit Partnership Program and will receive 20% of every Verizon Wireless two-year service contract purchased online through Eco Wireless, an authorized agent of Verizon Wireless (both new service and upgrades apply). Visit Eco Wireless and place your order for a new Verizon Wireless phone or calling plan today. Make sure to enter code # SBCK01. It couldn't be easier!

WinWin Living, an online Santa Barbara lifestyle guide and daily deal website, offers exceptional deals in Santa Barbara and will donate 10% of its deal proceeds to us every time you make a purchase on the website and select "SB Channelkeeper" as your chosen beneficiary at checkout...

wow what a scam!!! ...this is a cottage industry....look at all the parasitic ways these people steal money!!  you are already paying taxes to fund the city services, and now nonprofits like Channelkeeper get tax exempt money from other tax exempt nonprofits to sue the city so you pay more for work that is already being done on your behalf..

these people are eco-Nazis!!!

Thursday, June 14, 2012

don't go near the water

don't go near the shore....

without drawing even a one milliliter sample from the bodies of water in question, I have determined a course of action for the water quality issues at East Beach area in Santa Barbara at no cost to the taxpayer!!

here's my report

date: June 13th, 2012

time: 10:00 AM

unusual circumstances: it stinks down here by the beautiful Clark Estate and there's no excuse for it!!

weather: cool and overcast

feelings: I feel pretty good today!

populations in close proximity to water: people, sea gulls, apes, monkeys, giraffes, elephants, fish, dolphins, snow leopard, otters..

creek at East Beach: there is a creek by the condos that flows to ocean....the creek water looks good and clear and gets the benefit of a tidal flush..there were many seagulls and birdie footprints surrounding the creek...I observed some of the birds doo doo in the creek to the sand....any sample taken from this area would indicate high coliform numbers, from a warm-blooded animal...
Bird Refuge: this body of water borders the Zoo and meanders around for a few acres ....the water was murky and dark yellowy green and had a sour stinky disgusting smell, like my last girlfriend!

there's a sluice gate that separates the Bird Refuge water from the ocean water, but I'm certain it leaks..on the other side of the road, the beach side, there was more stinky stagnant water...unfortunately, the ocean doesn't quite get to this water...too much of a sand the water here and in the Bird Lake does not get the benefit of a tidal flush

there are many issues here and the question comes down to what is the Bird Refuge? is it a lake? a marsh? a lagoon? a it's not..what it is is a giant septic tank for birds and other critters....can you imagine an elephant taking a dump in the refuge? it's the human equivalent of Nancy Crawford- Hall leaving a floater in the community pool! you gotta close it for a few days and super-chlorinate until bacteria levels come down...

the city may have ideas about spending huge amounts of money ripping out plants at the Bird Refuge and planting natives..this will have no affect on the flow issues..some plants are good at removing pollutants, like water hyacinths, but they are non-native so the creeks committee won't use them!! they should be planted and monitored as part of a maintenance program if the lake is to remain fresh water

if we don't follow natures's rules, we get a big bird septic tank by the beach... it stinks right now.... it seems to me like the Bird Refuge should be a Salt Marsh....allow the natural tidal flushes that will keep the water quality good and encourage marsh plants to thrive ...and it will attract more birds and be an environmental wonder like the Carp Salt Marsh....

I suggest the gals from Channelkeeper shuffle over to the Bird Refuge with their cute little asses and use the money they got from the city to plant some water hyacinths in the Bird Refuge..or better yet, they can open that big sluice gate valve and let the tides take care of the won't cost a thing except a little sweat rolling down their titties!!

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

take the money and run...

non-profit Channelkeeper fleeces Santa Barbara

I never thought I'd see the day when conservatives on the Santa Barbara City Council would not only praise city workers, but also take to task a non-profit organization...but that's what happened on Tuesday in the council issue was the rate increases for sewer line rehab litigated by non-profit Channel Keeper's against the city....

after hearing from a few Channelkeeper followers including Hilary Hauser from the nonprofit Heal the Ocean, I found out that kid did a jr high science project and found the water quality at the beach "wasn't real good"..that's the basis for the lawsuit that Channelkeeper filed...

the princesses from Channelkeeper said they don't swim at East Beach because of the bad water quality..and one gal, that Redmond chick said her husband plays volleyball and the water is sometimes too icky for him!

oh really,where are the numbers and what is the source of the pollution?? do you think maybe the creek next to the ZOO or  Bird Refuge has anything to do with it?? that little body of water is full of gnarly bacteria and stinks to high Heaven when the dissolved oxygen levels drop....actually, this Bird Refuge lagoon used to be salt water but someone installed a sluice gate to stop the tidal flushes....all they need to do is open that gate and allow the lagoon to be a marsh as need for "restoration"

I won't swim at the beach sometimes either but not because of "leaky sewer pipes" but because of the fifty motherfucking dogs running around crapping in the water!! and don't forget the dolphins, seals and sea lions..they pee and crap in the ocean, dearies!! do you enjoy swimming in that, precious??

anyway, I congratulate Dale Francisco for busting/exposing Channelkeeper... and Randy Rouse for praising the folks in the city who do the real work of treating the water and cleaning the grease-laden sewer lines out...while the debutantes at Chanel No 5 file their little lawsuits...this is the biggest waste of taxpayer dollars I've ever seen!

Dale says that Channelkeeper's lawsuit was unnecessary because the city was already stepping up sewer line clean-outs which reduced spill incidents to negligible levels...and that Channelkeeper REFUSED to meet with council members, instead all they requested was records (to prepare for the lawsuit)

the Channelkeeper lawyers received up to $700000 from the taxpayers in this particular case... $700000!! Francisco says that there's a little cottage industry among environmental organizations/lawyers to sue cities for money...well, otherwords, the lawyers made out like a bandit....the fact being that the Channelkeeper lawsuit was FOR MONEY AND PUBLICITY, not for cleaner long as people are afraid to go in the water, the more money these non-profits will make..

I would like to see Channelkeeper do a complete water quality analysis of the Bird Refuge, and ZOO creek...get off their little assays and do some real work!

in this case, Francisco and Rouse proved themselves invaluable members of the city council because they were spot on about the facts!

$700000..that will go a long way to paying for the next Channelkeeper party at the Coral Casino!