poor side of town

kid: mommy do we have to go into Santa Barbara today?? mommy: yes dear, I have to shop at Marshall's...kid: but I don't wanna go!! mommy: why not?? kid: because it smells like grandma!!!

Lake Putrid

today is Tuesday and normally I drive into Santa Barbara to get some stuff at Tri County Produce...but I was seriously considering not doing it..why? well, TCP is an open air maket and not too far from the Zoo and Lake Putrid.. ...I think my past visits are starting to affect my health...I think the toxic vomititious Bird Refuge is infusing the apples at TCP with toxic vomititious yuckiform bacteria ....please bring back the homeless people... they smell better!!

the Curse of the Miramar

next, everytime I go into SB I have to pass through the slums of Montecito...

you know the place..

the seedy remains of the

Miramar mock the wealthy there who are always gone somewhere else....it's like they buy big expensive properties and never live in them..what's up with that? apparently Caltrans has given up on this stretch of highway..the place looks horrible!!! it's obvious that something super-natural is going on here and I call it the "Curse of the Miramar"....Ghost Adventurers should pay this place a visit and do a show on who is really holding up the progress in Montecito....

Skinny Tuxedo

well, I see that Judge Brian Hill grew a pair and fined DUI lawyer Darryl Genis for odd behavior in the court room in a recent criminal trial....Darryl of course works very hard to keep drunk drivers on the road and is absolutely paranoid about the local police dept...according to Darryl, everyone in the police dept is engaged in a conspiracy against his drunk driving clients...and I'm still waiting for the latest Peter Lance series in the News-Press..waiting....buffering....waiting...

Hot Tamale

for a limited time only, I am offering amnesty to illegal Mexican women between the ages of 20 and 25....