Monday, November 30, 2009

Sudden Impact...

The Buddha said, "My doctrine is to think the thought that is unthinkable, to practice the deed that is non-doing, to speak the speech that is inexpressible, and to be trained in the discipline that is beyond discipline. Those who understand this are near, those who are confused are far.

it's nice to know that my little blog is having such an impact on local and world events...consider this: after posting my golf related experiences and opinions about it being a girls sport, Tiger's wife beats him up! maybe because he's not a member at Birnam?

next, after blasting the News-Press Holiday Fund for soliciting money for wealthy nonprofits Santa Barbara Natural History Museum and the Audubon Society, Scott Steepleweighsaton writes a front page story to promote the bird cage project to do some damage control...gee Scott, what's it like to have Wendy cut your balls off?

Sarah Palin stopped to dine with Billy Graham..I tell ya, these crazy evangelicals are bad for America..Graham is the biggest con artist I've ever seen and Sarah seeking him out for religious/spiritual advice maketh want to lie down in green pastures with her and give some real bible thumping...
man, News-Press letter writers are dumb!! A guy named William Lockwood claims that alcohol is safer than pot and reasons that the natives lost the Western Hemisphere to European settlers because the Indians smoked pot and the settlers drank beer!! dumb as dog doodoo
Many dog lovers are in denial about their pooches' leavings. But researchers have named the idea that areas used by dogs pump more bacteria into waterways - the "Fido hypothesis."
Dogs are only one of many fixtures of suburban America that add to water pollution. Lawn fertilizers, rinse water from driveways and motor oil commonly end up in streams and lakes.
But unlike those sources, dogs generate disease-causing bacteria that can make people sick. Studies done in the last few years put dogs third or fourth on the list of contributors to bacteria in contaminated waters. "Dogs are one of our usual suspects," says Valerie Harwood, a microbiologist at the University of South Florida. "At certain sites, we find their effect to be significant."
It doesn't take a Ph.D. to figure out that dog do is nasty. But it took science to determine how nasty it is.
From mutt to blue-blooded champion, all dogs harbor so-called coliform bacteria, which live in the gut. The group includes E. coli, a bacterium that can cause disease, and fecal coliform bacteria, which spread through feces. Dogs also carry salmonella and giardia. Environmental officials use measurements of some of these bacteria as barometers of how much fecal matter has contaminated a body of water.
In San Diego. The city spent roughly $10,000 on extra trash cans, nagging signs and plastic "mutt mitts" at its Dog Beach, where the surf was closed to swimmers 125 times in 2007!
so be sure to pick up after your pests!!

Saturday, November 28, 2009

News-Press Holiday Fund..

is a scam and PR gimmick! stop feeding shady nonprofits!
This year the NewsPress Holiday Fund will seek donations to fund a bird house, co-supported by the Santa Barbara Museum of Natural History and the Santa Barbara Audubon Society...and to help the Boys and Girls Clubs locally...if you want to make sure the cash gets to the deserving Boys and Girls clubs, send it directly. However, sending money to the News-Press so it can give it to the SBMNH/Audubon Society is a ripoff and discredit to the Boys and Girls Clubs!
The SB Audubon Society is an offshoot of the National Audubon Society. The National Audubon Society has net assets of (drum roll please) $303,253,253!!!! Don't you think they could send a few dollars to the Santa Barbara Chapter...
The SBMNH under the leadership of Karl Hutterer has sponsored booze (Tequila and wine tasting) parties during Fiesta. Hutterer makes $133000 a year and his wife Nancy is the treasurer of the Museum League! The Museum has net assets of $70,000,000 (seventy million!). Their revenue for fiscal year 2007 was $14,000,000!! Why do they need to solicit holiday money from you through the News-Press?? The Museum needs new leadership!!!
the NewsPress (Nipper and Wendy) pulled this animal stunt last year and gave money to the Animal Rescue Team, Julia Di Sieno, #69, who promptly bungled a mountain lion cub rescue attempt in Solvang..the cubs should have been left alone but rescuer Julia couldn't keep her hands off! She blamed the Dept of Fish and Game for her incompetence! The News-Press was complicit in the cover up with anti-gov't editorials, written by the defunct/discredited/disappearing/dunce Travis Armstrong..The ART has turned into a weird little marketing they use donations to make and sell tee shirts??
Wendy and oughta be ashamed of yourselves!!

Friday, November 27, 2009

Mindin' my Manners...

High Society....
before: ok then.. so I'm getting ready for Thanksgiving at the exclusive Birnam Woods county club..I don't think even Tiger could get in here...maybe Sammy Sosa after tinting his skin ghost white. So I get ready and dress up a bit. As a rule, I don't hang out in country clubs... but exceptions must be made now and then. I know from past experience that these folks prefer gentlemen wear jackets..a blazer or sportcoat... but I'm not a gentleman!! I'm a leather jacket kinda guy..or nowadays a fleece kinda guy..Mr. Non- Conformer..I like my freedom!!
why go thru any extra trouble dressing it up, that's woman's work, isn't it? But these country club folks put a lot of emphasis on style over substance and you have to look a certain way or they'll think you are going to kill if I show up in a leather coat, that's a naturally, I'm wearing the leather to dinner but taking the blazer just in case! God, I'm having fun already!!!
so I drive up to the BW gate in my truck and tell the guy I'm with the so and so party and he lets me through...down the road I go past big houses and a golf course that stretches as far as the eye can see...then I get to the big club house where they serve food and adult beverages..where the atmosphere is thick with Chanel no 5, where the men are old and staid but friendly, where little kids dressed like red Christmas angels are running around, where the women are freaky looking...jewels, twirly things on their dresses lots of hairspray and real friendly and drunk!! I could cop a feel and they wouldn't even know it! I could follow them into the ladies room and pee on their butts and they wouldn't know! Whoops..I'm s'pposed to be mindin' my manners..sorry!
so I go inside thru the big ass doors..I got my leather jacket on, khakis and hiking boots and sunglasses..everyone stopped and looked at me in horror! jaws dropped! smiles turned to frowns...I felt a cold breeze float thru the I went back to my truck and put on the blue blazer and re-entered the ballroom to smiles from strangers and loving embraces from friends and family! Lucky for me I watch "What Not to Wear"! and no sign of Dr. Laura..GOOD! I'd hate to be responsible for a murder of Thanksgiving Day!
after: so we visit, mingle and sit down to a feast prepared by a kitchen full of illegal aliens! It was fantastic and that's what Thanksgiving is all about....friends and family and a big buffet with turkey, shrimp and everything else to make you happy...I made the mistake of not wearing my coat when I went to the buffet..the host can be fined by the club if guests don't wear their I was about to protest such silliness, I thought to myself "protocol is protocol"..who am I to tell them how to run their club...gentlemen wear coats!! so what if it's 80 degrees outside!!
I dug in and started looking around the room and was stunned by some of the women I saw here..beautiful and fine..a far cry from the dirty pig-slopping farm girls in Carp!! I mean really! I could become a well-mannered respected citizen if I had one of these classy gals on my arm!! Maybe I got rich folks all wrong..maybe I should change my ways and maybe I'd get a chance with a real lady for once...there was one especially beautiful dark haired woman with milky white skin that caught my eye..I swear I've never seen a more beautiful woman...I was staring at her beneath my sunglasses thru the whole dinner...I didn't want to frighten her, but I did want to scare her...a little primal fear/lust action between the festive Thanksgiving tables..damn she was fine! I wanted to protect and take care of her! I wanted to caress her like a pianist caresses the ivories! She kept looking at our table with quick glances after she figured out I had the hots for her...she looked annoyed, then happy, then confused, then started sticking her tongue out at me...I couldn't figure that one out..she's a mystery and she's a lady...lady of ladies
when it was over we all left at the same time; she stayed and talked to her family, and I with mine; then she walked right in front of me and shot a cool glance in my direction...I was shaking with anticipation...I said.."did you enjoy your dinner?" she said with a smile "why yes..thank you"..then I gave her my card as she left which she promptly threw in the trash can...tears filled my eyes..but they were tears of joy.. "you're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off you, pardon the way that I stare, there's nothing else to compare....

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

walkin' on sunshine

the billionaire's club...
maybe I was dreaming, but somehow I snagged an invitation to Thanksgiving dinner at an exclusive country club in Montecito! It's called Birnam Wood and if you're rich and white you may get to be a member..or you can just be a guest of a member and reap all the benefits of the true golf club I'm no golfer but I do like the LPGA tour with faves like Paula Creamer(!), Michelle (can't say no) Wie who has the best legs in golf, and Lorena Ochoa, a Mexican, you see, is a woman's game, not a man's game..the guys just look silly playing a bunch of flakes! so anyway..what's become of Montecito lately..such a focus on wealth or looking wealthy...the women are botoxed and collagened so they look like demons! All signs of age that nature intends have been hidden behind a plastic smile and daddy's money will let you continue the's a very sick didn't used to be that way..a very casual little beach town has turned into a gated- ungated community of effeminate men like Ty Warner and Randall Van Wolfswinkel...and there's nothing I can do about it..or is there?
So anyway.... I want to check out why Birnam Wood hosted a breakfast tribute to Dr. Laura a few weeks back and I certainly hope Laura will be close to our table on Thanksgiving Day..I don't think she's a member, but whoever invited her once may do it again...did she dump her motorcycle to take up golf? I don't kanow.. but this area of Montecito and Buena Vista Drive has been home to many great celebrities, folks who deserve their status and place in Hollywood lore...folks like Burl Ives, Joe Walsh, Paul Williams..folks with real talent unlike Dr. Laura who is a LEECH!! Yes, I'll find out what's going on and report back, with pictures of opulence you won't believe!! and maybe get the LPGA tour to stop here!

Friday, November 20, 2009


Pedro, Julia and mutant bears terrorizing mountain communities.. immune to bullets and darts and fortified by added hormones in discarded people food, a new kinda bear has emerged...check it out!

Big bear bad news for Incline residents
By Jeff DeLong • • November 18, 2009
A large bear with an attitude might have caused up to $70,000 in damage this year in Incline Village, officials say.
The black bear, likely a male weighing perhaps 700 pounds, has evaded traps and avoided special night patrols.
Two gunshots fired by a homeowner made the bear stay away for a couple of weeks.
"The deputies up there all say he's the biggest bear they've ever seen," said Carl Lackey, a biologist and bear expert for the Nevada Department of Wildlife who has been chasing this bear for three years. "He'll walk right by a trap, he won't go in them. He's really random in where he goes.
"He's made it real tough to catch up with him."
Incline resident Claire Vaughan heard a crash one night and saw a "huge" bear that had just knocked out a panel of her garage door. She watched as the bear tried to open the door latch of a locked car parked outside, displaying a working knowledge of that potential gateway to goodies.
"He's smart. He's super smart," Vaughan said. "He's a big, bad boy."
The bear was confronted this summer in an Incline Village home it had visited several times before, causing extensive damage, Lackey said. The bear was at the bottom of a staircase, the homeowner at the top with a .44 Magnum handgun.
"He shot it right between the eyes and the bullet bounced off his skull," Lackey said. "We know that because we found it.
"He shot it again and hit it. We know that because there was a lot of blood, but it wasn't a mortal wound."
Lackey said the bear returned after a couple of weeks, breaking into garages and going after trash or food in freezers. He said the bear has broken into 40 or 50 Incline garages this summer.
"It's all in the same area and it's the same M.O. all the time," Lackey said.
The bear has broken into Kelly Cathey's Incline garage four times and once tried to break through her front door.
One night she saw her car door open and walked outside.
"I turned to my left and his face was right in my face," Cathey said. "He was huge."
She made a hasty retreat and later found dirt and paw prints in her car.
This isn't the first bear that's given Lackey plenty of trouble but "he'd be on the 10 most wanted list for sure," he said.
This bear makes clear the need for people to use bear-proof containers to store garbage outside, Lackey said.
Q: What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A: A teddy boar!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

drink to me only with thine eyes....

drunk and hot!

so the story is a girl, after drinking at a friend's house in Carp, (Joe??) drives home to Santa Barbara. She decided to pull a Travis and drove the wrong way on 101..she used the southbound 101 to go north to SB...all this happened about 11:00 pm. I don't know WTF is wrong with people these days..there should be a little voice in your head telling you right from wrong..admittedly, when you're drunk, the voice is harder to hear..but that's no excuse! We got people crying about medical marijuana while people are getting wiped out by drunk drivers. Now, the driver, Ms Nora Reyes didn't kill anyone thanks to the quick work of the CHP, but the damage she could have done is enormous..and look at her! Psycho but pretty! What a waste! Nora, you need to quit drinking and start living...get a hold of your demons and channel them to something positive...alcohol is a dead end..candy is dandy but liquor is quicker, you can drink all the liquor down in Costa Rica, ain't nobody's business but you own?? sorry, it is my made it my business when you foolishly decided to get behind the wheel and endanger the Carp/ Santa Claus Lane/Summerland/Montecito neighborhoods!
you can't win with liquor..booze is taking its toll.... I still can see, your pretty face, 'tho nowadays it's getting hard to trace....
I can deal with the swearing, the bad jokes but not the swilling, understand? Look at what you could could be a dancer;a singer; a leader instead of a follower..
and SB people are worried about medical pot co-ops near schools and parks? What about liquor stores? I watched the city council meeting on pot co-ops and the idiot Brian Sarvis, schools superintendent was one of the speakers...he didn't want them close to schools. He wants to protect the kids...well, why don't you start some drug education programs in school, Sarvis? Oh never mind, the sooner you leave the field of education, the better...
and one more for the road: Alexandra Kerry, an actress and filmmaker and the oldest daughter of Sen. John Kerry, was arrested in Hollywood Wednesday night for failing a sobriety test after she was stopped by Los Angeles police, the Associated Press reports. Officer Bruce Borihanh says she was booked at the Hollywood police station and was held for about five hours. She was released at about 5:30 a.m. after posting $5,000 bail.
I don't care if you get drunk in your house..but outside the taxpayers once again clean up the mess of drunken fools..what are we, your fucking parents??? NO...I won't be your daddy, Nora and Alexandra ..but girls.. I'll be your baby, tonight....

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Hello from Palm Springs Everybody!!

We can revitalize our downtown...
guest post from Travis Armstrong and David Carden

Over the past decade, residents of Palm Springs have witnessed the demise of the downtown business corridor, which is strewn with countless vacant storefronts, and the impasse over any renovations of the Desert Fashion Plaza between the City Council and John Wessman continues.
Meanwhile, rents remain so high and continue to rise to a point that it is impossible to spur new businesses to open or current businesses to remain profitable as our economy continues to struggle. What can we do to revitalize downtown Palm Springs?
Partner with Wessman
First, I would support using redevelopment funds to partner with Wessman to move renovation plans forward quickly.
At the same time, the city should hire a consulting firm that specializes in analyzing the shopping needs of locals and tourists, and map out ways of enticing regional and national chains to come to downtown.
The consulting firm of Economic Development Systems has done this successfully in downtown Long Beach and has just been hired to do a study for Napa, which is in a situation similar to Palm Springs.
If a redevelopment plan does not work for Wessman, then I support a bond issue to raise the funds to purchase the Desert Fashion Plaza and the city of Palm Springs would be free to become a partner with a new developer or package the site and chose a developer to go forward with renovations based on the vision of our residents and keeping the "village character" as outlined in our master plan.
Meet with property owners
Second, city officials should meet with all downtown commercial property owners, their management team and leasing agents to find out why we continue to have vacant storefronts (some have been vacant since 1999) and what they suggest to jump-start renting them out. Maybe there is something we have missed all these years.
Monitor vacant building rules
Third, the City Council needs to re-evaluate existing vacant building ordinances and see where they might be strengthened to add a monthly monitoring fee on all vacancies. The city of Long Beach modified its ordinance in 2008, which included registering all vacant storefronts, monthly inspections by code enforcement/building department to ensure that the properties remain clean, in compliance and ready to rent. Those monthly monitoring inspections stay in effect until the storefront is rented. This incentive is long overdue.
Put rents on a sliding scale
Fourth, and most important, I recommend that commercial property owners consider a graduated rental agreement where rents would be reduced to a fair and equitable level for years one and two, the rent would increase in year three and again in years four and five. (Example: begin rent at $1,800 for first two years, increase to $2,200 in year three and then to $2,800-$3,000 in years four and five).
The heart and soul of the city of Palm Springs is our downtown and I have to believe that with a new sense of supporting positive change downtown, this is the perfect time to put our own new footprint on downtown and our economic future.
David Carden, who placed fourth in this week's race for the Palm Springs City Council, is a Realtor with Windermere and chairman of Baristo Neighborhood Organization. Travis Armstrong is former editor of the Santa Barbara News-Press and he's an Indian on the run...
Palm Springs is kinda like Santa Barbara without the ocean!

Monday, November 9, 2009

the Nature Conspiracy...

kick the can!

when I read that the Parks Service and a nonprofit were scheming to build a campus in the Santa Monica mountains, I was aghast..the Parks Service teamed with Nature Conservancy to annihilate the Channel Islands and now they are at it again..I shudder to think what will happen to the Santa Monica hills once these folks get out there..the premise is good: to help inner city kids commune with nature, but I guarantee there will be indoctrination and brainwashing against nonnative species. Billions are being wasted trying to rid the landscape of invasive non native species...creeks and watersheds are being poisoned, which kills frogs and birds and things...I've had it up to here with these plant racists, so I do hereby declare war on them, I'll be an eco-terrorist for nature fighting the ecofacists and spreading nonnative joy where I see, non natives are just plants that happen to be at a certain area. They arrive by dispersal, like everything else. They are home to bees, birds, ladybugs and butterflies and that's all I need to know to protect them... not that Acorn!
Now, all these nonprofits are popping up like goddam weeds! They want your money..the Nature Conservancy owns more land than Uncle Sam! Their goal is species cleansing in California...slash and burn non natives..the only problem with this agenda is the species in question, from fennel to Castor Bean, ALWAYS grow back...that's why I love them..they mock the neo-ecologists who claim to have all the answers in nature. But only nature has all the answers, and some we may not like. Too bad, I say. Nature dominates all the time and we must play by her rules or suffer the consequences. Many folks are tuned to this like Aldo Leopold and Terry Tempest Williams, poet Edna St. Vincent Millay, and even Saint Francis of Assisi, a troubadour and nature lover who wrote prayers and hymns..and he wasn't all about money like these nonprofits are..the Nature Con is worth billions. They solicit money from taxpayers in the form of grants: TNC receives millions in government funds and uses tax money to forward its own agenda of nationalizing private land at a profit...
Although The Nature Conservancy claims to be a land preservation group, it pays Michael J. Coda a salary of $154,082 (and benefits of $17,652) as Director of their Climate Change Program, getting into the highly contentious global warming controversy. To keep their media spin on being "non-controversial", The Nature Conservancy paid $1,251,150 to Media Strategies and Research company for consulting services.
The Nature Con should be lobbying to tax booze and to remove litter, not plants, from the roadsides and California landscape!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

the myth of Sisyphus..

"I didn't take money from that man, Mr. Van Wolfswinkel"... says Dale
Dale Francisco, the lying darling candidate of the lying wealthy Wendy & the NewsPress and billionaire Texas Turdherder Randy Van Wolftwinkie, lost to a girl! A girl beat him up in the election! What a wimp! Instead of congrats to Helene, Dale blames the unions and vows to "start getting the word out about unions controlling elections".. he says the influence of union campaign contributions is "insidious and corrupting".
Now, I don't know WTF he is talking about since his sugar daddy was trying to control this election with money and negative ads..and all the people who gave him money like the racist Lincoln Club..geez, the more I learn about Dale, the more I see what a dirtbag he is..bigot, hangs with racists, liar...this is clearly a guy with a lot of issues...and people with lots of issues happen to interest me...I like to point out their defects so that either they will become more self-aware or quit their jobs and leave town with their gay lovers! So Dale was in bed with the labor-law breaking News-Press and the Yes on B flunkies and he's trying to call the city workers corrupt?? Gee, Dale, why don't you look at some of the employees performance evaluations to see how corrupt they are; or when they clean out the sewer lines in front of your house-are they a corrupting influence?? You know, Dale's political career ended on Tuesday, Nov 3. He got beat and now he's gonna save the world from unions! He's gonna try to deny workers the right to organize like he voted to deny a certain group of taxpayers the right to marry! This idiot doesn't believe in civil rights!
The Absurd Man
How should the absurd man live? Clearly, no ethical rules apply, as they are all based on higher powers or on justification. "Integrity has no need of rules." 'Everything is permitted' "is not an outburst of relief or of joy, but rather a bitter acknowledgment of a fact." Sisyphus, a figure of Greek mythology who was condemned to repeat forever the same meaningless task of pushing a rock up a mountain, only to see it roll down again. That's Dale!!!
Employees shall have the right to self-organization, to form, join, or assist labor organizations, to bargain collectively through representatives of their own choosing, and to engage in other mutual aid or protection. {National Labor Relations Act 1935}
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances. {Bill of Rights- First Amendment}
Freedom of association guards an individual's right to become part of a group for the protection of his or her rights.1 It is an explicit part of the 1st Amendment, stemming from the right to peacefully assemble and petition the government.2 Its foundation is in a case where the state wanted the NAACP to divulge names of its members to the Attorney General. The Supreme Court, recognizing the freedom of association as indispensable to all Americans, unanimously stated "effective advocacy of both public and private points of view, particularly controversial ones, is undeniably enhanced by group association... state action which may have the effect of curtailing the freedom to associate is subject to the closest scrutiny...
Dale, I predict you won't last two more years on the council..that you'll resign like your sissy pal Travis..and start a nonprofit!!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Top of the Pops...

I am I no one there..and no one heard not even the chair....

so..most of the election results turned out ok..I can live with Frank who finally accepted union money, but Mike Self? Mike? she looks like she stuffs hot dogs in her fat little pig face all day!! How is she gonna serve the city when she's stuffing hot dogs in her fat little pig face all day?
I told you NOT to vote for her!!! You shoulda elected Diane Channing who looks a little like she's got Tourette's Syndrome, but that's not a crime, you intolerant, insensitive boobs! Measure B and Dale Francisco went to the Hall of The News-Press Shame where all losers eventually end up..Helene Schneider kicked his ass!! I was surprised Thyne and Cushman did so poorly altho John's DUI didn't help him... House did real good cos folks like his TV show...
and no wonder Travis snuck out of town two days before the election...there wasn't enough humble pie to go around! Cheer up Trav ..two of your endorsements won and it only cost your pal Wolfswinkel a million dollars!
so I was watching City TV election results and the music they were playing was boss! Billie Holiday, Nat King Cole, Sinatra, I was surprised none of the candidates or players in this year's election came up with a catchy theme is the universal I've come up with what I think each should be singing in the shower...

Steve Cushman..Put Me in Coach (John Fogerty)
Helene Schneider..Queen of the Silver Dollar (Emmy Lou Harris)
Randy Van Wolfswinkel...Money (Pink Floyd)
Justin Tevis..Everybody Loves a Clown (Gary Lewis and the Playboys)
Dale Francisco..Liar Liar (the Castaways)
Marty Blum..Leaving on a Jet Plane (Peter Paul and Mary)
Wendy..Crazy (Patsy Cline)
Travis Armstrong..All the Young Dudes (Mott the Hoople)
Bonnie Raisin..Norman (Sue Thompson)
Nipper..You Don't Miss Your Water (Byrds)
Frank Hotchkiss..Tiny Bubbles (Don Ho)
Craig Smith..(Old Man) Neil Young
Cathie McCammon..theme to Annie
Shiela Lodge..Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer (Elmo)
Mike Self...Lola (the Kinks)
Nick Welsh..Gonna Buy Me a Dog (Monkees)
Grant House..House of the Rising Sun (Animals)
Lane Anderson..Universal Soldier (Buffy St. Marie)
John Thyne..Scotch and Soda (Kingston Trio)
David Pritchett..Get A Job (the Silhouettes)
Cruz..Low Rider (War)
Bob Hansen..King of the Road (Roger Miller)
Isaac Garret..Shake your Moneymaker (James Brown)
Bendy White..Little Boxes (Pete Seeger)
Diane Channing..Whole Lotta Shakin' Going On (Jerry Lee Lewis)
John Gibbs..I'm a Loser (the Beatles)
keep on keepin' on!