Saturday, August 21, 2010

I was a big man yesterday...

but boy you oughta see me now!!

hey, I feel for you pink collar (sissy) folks in the private sector who are bitching crying and moaning (instead of working) about the public employees (who you knew nothing about but essentially were their employers!!)..public employees who cared about a secure future, getting the job done, and are reaping the benefits of personel responsibility and planning...maybe you should ask your private for-profit employer and yourselves why they treat their employees (you) so shitty!! and ask yourself why you still work for them??
ask them why they give so much money to nonprofits and corporations who pay CEOs hundreds of thousands per year to destroy companies and raid private pensions....ask them why you don't have a savings a plan and then ask yourselves how'd you get so stupid!! Hey, if you need money, walk down the road, slip and fall and break your leg and sue the county because there were rocks in the road!!
well look... I used to work for the government and was a union member and if you trust fund sucking nutball conservatives want to see my salary from start to finish, plus all the benefits I got, what I did on my days off, plus all the times I got called back in the middle of the night, the hazardous work, the shift work, the 12-14 hour days, the weekends, what I ate for breakfast, how many times a day I peed, and so on, uhh, hell, I'll even throw in my investment portfolio and some forward thinking strategy for save and don't blow your inheritance wad at the's all there... and if you want to see it , log on to WWW.KISSMYASS.COM....

Friday, August 20, 2010

the rain the park and other things...

Welcome to Carpinteria: Tree Killer City!!!
well, Saturday is the day the fuckheads at Channel Islands Restoration are coming to town to rip out ice plant at the Carp State Beach...and they want volunteers to help them even though the state has hired them to do it..this is all part of the native-only movement in California supported by some very powerful groups like Fish and Game and the Coastal Commission..generally I have supported the CC but now who needs 'em?? Removing ice plant at this beach will INCREASE EROSION and the sand that gets blown into the town and beach homes... geez, what a bunch of dopers! I went down and took some pictures then notice that seven trees had been chopped at the park by Linden and the railroad tracks..boy was I I hightailed it over City Hall to talk to Matt Roberts, the Parks Director, but the guy is a I talked to the Public Works Director and he filled me in..He was a tall dude..put a cowboy hat on him and he'd be a long tall Texan..but he was ok and explained that the trees were cut down for the little park that's been in the pipeline for about ten years....I missed all the public meetings but we really don't need a park inside a park, it's a silly idea. The tall dude said one of the reasons
the park is needed is to give people easier access to they move from the campgrounds to Linden via the private railroad tracks, so the new park will provide them a sidewalk...I said why not just get Union Pacific to put up a fence? I mean, I just don't buy it..there's already a huge field you can walk across to get into town...then we talked about the highway projects and the billions secured to finish it...the Linden interchange and all the other projects approved by Measure A...thanks a lot voters..the highways need some preventive maintenance, not six more lanes and billions wasted on planting and irrigation schemes...geezus fucking I have to run for public office now to get these peoples' attention??? tell 'em I'm coming...

and hell's coming with me, you hear??

Thursday, August 19, 2010

black magic women...

why today I'm all a' twitter....
well, the chances of Sarah Palin becoming president are slim...the more time she spends under the shining spotlight of fame, the more obvious it becomes...the woman is loads of fun because she's dumb, myopic and running around like she just won the lottery..and all because of John McCain, her agent, got a boner last election! Now I hear that Sarah has come to the defense of Dr. Laura, and neither of them understands our Constitution. Yet, they use it as the rallying cry for electing in November like minded conservatives who never took a political science course in their lives!!
consider Sarah's twitter: Dr.Laura=even more powerful & effective w/out the shackles, so watch out Constitutional obstructionists. And b thankful 4 her voice,America!
Dr.Laura:don't retreat...reload! (Steps aside bc her 1st Amend.rights ceased 2exist thx 2activists trying 2silence"isn't American,not fair")
more like reload and keep misfiring for both of these bozos! so Sarah is claiming that what happened to Dr. Laura "isn't American, isn't fair"....again both with the poor little victim act...

but since Sarah's in the mix now, here's my Twitter to her: yo S grizzly mama..clean yer trailer bfoe blax take over guv. And b thankful 4 Ist Amend last rites.. let's abolish the Ist Amend and replace with the Bible and call it the 1st Amen! I lyk Twitter too cuz I can spell how I want!! Dr. Laura wants to have lesbo sex with U..are U in?? hey girl..blx skkkaire me 2..luv ya!!
Twitter to Sharon Angle: hey Vegas Btch..wut up?? thx 4 speaking out! and protecting our God-given right to white!!
Nevada Republican Senate candidate Sharron Angle once partook in a campaign against a local high school's use of black football jerseys, arguing that the dark color was ungodly and wicked, Bill Roberts of Nevada's Pahrump Valley Times recently reported.
Twitter to myself: WTF is wrong with these womans??

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

people..people who need people...

are the yuckiest people in the world.......
MFCCs...couples' counseling.....just the sound gives me the creeps...some chick once suggested that her boyfriend took off for good when she scheduled a couples' counseling session for them..but can you blame him? That's like taking him to a dog whisperer.... relationships have a useful service life of about three, maybe five years and after that it's know it and I know it so no amount of counseling will help... especially if administered by an MFCC..Marriage Family ampersand Child Counselor..MFCCs are illegitimate offshoots of psychology....they can't fix relationships, families or children but many people think they can.....if you have a bad family, that's the breaks; if you have bad child, that's impossible..a child needs love, honesty and a safe place to play with frogs and tadpoles or Barbie dolls or whatever little boys and girls play with these days...a kid doesn't need drugs to calm him down...ADD and ADHD are all bullshit made-up disorders...if your relationship is bad, an MFCC won't help...counseling is people helping people see another side, to facilitate a change that someone wants to's not designed to fix you or tell you what to do...Dr. Laura had an MFCC background and look at her..she's quitting her radio show because she says, contrary to her apology, that her First Amendment rights of Free Speech were violated (ie, her apology was BS) and now everyone is picking on her!!! The reality is no radio will have her and no sponsor will have her because she has no ethics!!
I had a girlfriend once (really, it happened!!) and after a few years she started looking like my aunt..having sex with my aunt was not exactly a psychic fantasy of mine.... so there was no way I could carry on except to try to sabotage the relationship to secure the desired ends: no relationship or a friendship at best! Now, it wasn't completely a conscious effort, but it seems like I was on a course because I couldn't simply walk away at the time...relationships are complicated things and when you add feelings and stuff to them, well, it makes things this gal, who was and is a great chick by the way, suggests we go to a MFCC counselor to work things out..I started looking for ways out but agreed to go to at least once..back then I wasn't quite as evolved as I am today, so being with me I realize was quite a chore as I was quite a boorish bore..but so what, you lie down with dogs you wake up with fleas...anyway, we went to the therapy session with an MFCC who was insane insane and psycho...she asked me the dumbest questions and looked at me like she wanted to kill me...and I was looking at her boobs...all is fair in love and war...anyway this girl found another guy, I cried..but were they tears of pain or tears of joy??
it happened that after all the years (3) of togetherness, apartness was the next logical step for me and my hang on if you must, but remember this: parting is such sweet sorrow....

Sunday, August 15, 2010

savoy truffles...

Dear Somebody...
I am very concerned about eblogger and all the freakin glitches!!! and our country's direction and predilection ...I became concerned on my drive home from a Montecito dinner last night..I had a nice steak sandwich and the others in my party had fresh salmon...we ended with cappucino and a delightful lemon tart with raspberry sauce which we shared like a bunch of hungry communists! What a great name for a new restaurant: the "Hungry Communist" Anyway, we talked about Patricia Neal who used to be a model and went to the same college as a delightful lady in our party...we discussed Santa Barbara and what great place it is despite the some of the dweebs living here...then after a few hours, we wistfully parted company..I was feeling good until I hit Padaro Lane...the sprinklers were on!! Caltrans was watering the new expensive native trees..what, do we have unlimited supplies of water now..and an unlimited supply of cash? Whoever cooked up this scheme should be raked over the coals!
Next, we got teabagger Tom Watson whose campaign signs are in front of the Summerland Sod Farm/ Polo/Teabagger Headquarters, just down the road from Pacifica Institiute of Psychological Studies...I got no issue with anyone running to unseat Lois, but when Watson talks, he sounds like a little girl, (sorry little girls, no offense, you rock!!)I mean little girly man!! I swear..listen to him..and he's always complaining about how tough it is for small business in California and he wants Lois to fix that and accuses her of dodging debates..that's scripted tactic the Teabaggers use when they don't get their way! crybabies!! (sorry babies, not trying to offend you!)
well, if you can't make it in business here, then you should work for someone who can make it..there are thousands of small businesses doing well because they work at it, instead of crying about it like a little girly's your choice in you want a little girly man or an old lady (sorry old ladies, no offense! you badass, too!) representing you??
and finally, when flight attendant Steven Slater from JetBlue decided he had enough, he didn't turn in a resignation notice. Instead, he swore at customers, got drunk, opened the emergency slide chute and went home and cried to his mommy..the guy is 38 years old and that's his work ethic?? very typical of some folks today who don't have the guts to stick it out, or leave the job with some responsibility...and some are hailing him as a hero...yes he's a hero to whining conservatives who complain about not enough jobs, but are too spoiled to work!
mmmm.... that truffle looks good!

Saturday, August 14, 2010

tonight the bottle let me down....

if you're looking for won't find it at the bottom of a bottle of Tequila! fests at the Zoo and Elings Park, Wine Fests at East Beach, tequila and wine fests at the Santa Barbara Museum of Natural History..and now a new one: the first annual Tequila Harvest Festival/Tuesday August 17 at the Cabrillo Pavillion Arts Center..I remember Ernie and the Emperors played there once.."Meet Me at the Corner"..they were great..those big red shiny new 1960s Gibsons they played are worth thousands today!!
so the guy who wants this new Tequila Fest is Albert Martinez founder of agaveave...
and it sounds like something Wendy's Nipper would be involved in!!
But now we have booze everywhere..Santa Barbara, I think you have a problem..a drinking problem....what?? you don't have a problem except when you can't get a drink? Well, that's a problem..and I think you need to address it, face it and correct it after you get back from BEVMO...telltale signs: are you sipping booze in the middle of the day? do you reach for a Bud when stressed? do you need a shot of courage from time to time? do you brag about your latest drunken episode? do you barf all over yourself alot? have more than one DUI? then you're a drunk!!
now I don't have an issue when people drink alcohol passively, but when they have festivals where they encourage "sampling" and people are driving to and from these things, that puts me at risk..I gotta double up on the defensive driving mode: everyone now is drunk and dangerous on the road... and the festivals are just bars anyway...bars for the upscale clientele..the proper drunks.
Now, I know the sheriff is spending tons of money on staged police raids, rounding up marijuana plants in the back country and in town to scare conservatives into supporting the new jail tax, probably something he and advisor Dr. Lanny cooked up, with the stories always conveniently ending up on the front page of the News-Press... and the city is fretting over medical marijuana, why are they so ignorant about alcohol abuse? How many boozers on the city council? at the News-Press?? the glazed eyes, the bulbous noses, the pock marks, the anti-social behavior...booze will erode you and explode you!!
and we've had some famous boozers do stupid things in this town: Joe, Travis, Gil, James et al
General Effects of Alcohol on the Brain
Alcohol can affect several parts of the brain, but in general, alcohol contracts brain tissue and depresses the central nervous system. Also, alcohol destroys brain cells and unlike many other types of cells in the body, brain cells do not regenerate. Excessive drinking over a prolonged period of time can cause serious problems with cognition and memory.
When alcohol reaches the brain, it interferes with communication between nerve cells, by interacting with the receptors on some cells. The alcohol suppresses excitatory nerve pathway activity and increases inhibitory nerve pathway activity. Among other actions, alcohol enhances the effects of the inhibitory neurotransmitter GABA. Enhancing an inhibitor has the effect of making a person sluggish. Also, alcohol weakens the excitatory neurotransmitter glutamine, which enhances the sluggishness even farther.
that's why people crash, are found semi- conscious in their car on the side of the road, drive the wrong way up one way streets...their brains are fried!! so... you can keep drinking and trying to rip yourselves a new asshole, or, when you're ready to admit you have a problem Santa Barbara, we can start the necessary therapy..

Friday, August 13, 2010

sista act...

a fraud, a liar, a cheat ..and now a racist...Dr. Laura calls a spade a spade....that's our gal!!!

LOS ANGELES (Aug. 12) -- Talk radio host Dr. Laura Schlessinger has issued an apology for saying the N-word several times in an on-air conversation with a caller that she said was "hypersensitive" to racism. Schlessinger said on her website Wednesday that she was wrong in using the word for what she called an attempt to make a philosophical point."I articulated the N-word all the way out - more than one time," Schlessinger said in comments from the opening of her radio show that she posted on her site. "And that was wrong. I'll say it again - that was wrong."She said she "realized I had made a horrible mistake, and was so upset, I could not finish the show."
Dr. Laura Schlessinger apologized for saying the N-word several times during her talk radio show. Schlessinger said she pulled herself off the air at the end of the hour. During the exchange on Tuesday's show, Schlessinger said the woman who called herself Jade was too sensitive for complaining that her husband's friends made racist comments about her in their home. When the woman asked if the N-word was offensive, Dr. Laura said "black guys say it all the time," then went on to repeat it several times.Schlessinger did not direct the epithet at the woman, but said she used it to suggest how often she hears it, and that it should not automatically be cause for offense. When the caller objected, Schlessinger replied: "Oh, then I guess you don't watch HBO or listen to any black comedians."Schlessinger also said that if the caller did not have a sense of humor about race, she shouldn't have entered into an interracial marriage.
Dr.'s a is skanky for real!!

Thursday, August 12, 2010


I.. duh..yo..yeah...
if you're a moron you probably voted for Arnold Schwarzzzzzennnnneggggger..twice..if you're a moron you probably think Sylvester "yo" Stallone is a good actor, and if you're a moron, you'll probably stand in line to watch "Die Hard 29 " with Bruce, I can't see a sliver of talent in any of these guys, maybe Willis in the early days, but nowadays they are the conservative trio in Hollywood, pumping out "action films" where the main plot is to go get some dark skinned terrorists or dictators and blow things up like a bunch of morons..well, at least they know their audience....
while Arnold was acting as Governor of our now OVER -CAUTIOUS California, he allowed the deficit to climb because he cautiously protected the rich and spent his days running around with boytoy Rob Lowe, posing for glossy pictures, trying to market this great other words, California is so strong it can survive two terms of this knucklehead...I'm starting to think that all the fussy expensive highway landscaping projects in Carp are his doing....he can pay CALTRANS to pay a subcontractor to install all this important landscaping overkill, but he can't pay state workers??
boy, if I ever see him walking down Linden Ave, there's gonna be trouble...T-R-O-U-B-L-E as in knuckle samwich!! I will terminate the Terminator!!
Now, while state workers are being dicked with by a guy who has no idea how to lead, they are blessed with Fridays off. California state employees are the ones feeling expendable.....webchatter: They are planning on using their mandated furlough day Friday to protest at theaters across the state showing the movie The Expendables. The action-adventure flick with an all-star cast features a rare cameo by Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Last month the governor reinstituted "furlough Fridays," meaning all state offices will be closed three Fridays a month, and workers won't be paid for those days. Their first furlough day is probably Friday, opening day of the movie..Schwarzenegger took some hard questions about when the furloughs will stop and what he is doing to make sacrifices."I make certain sacrifices. I'm working for seven years without getting any salary. My salary, I never receive, I just give it back to the state because that's not why I'm in this job," he said in a transcript provided by the Sacramento Bee. "So that's why I feel, you know, that the least thing I can do is work for seven years and not think about my movie career or the $30 million a movie and all of those kinds of things. "But forget that. I've made enough money because of California and because of America. So let's go and do something." The movie, which opens Friday, is directed by Sylvester Stallone, who also has a role in the film. Other stars include Bruce Willis, Jet Li, Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren, Mickey Rourke, Steve Austin, Randy Couture, Giselle Itie and Eric Roberts.The movie plot is about how an elite team of mercenaries known as "the Expendables" overthrow a dictator in a fictional South American country.
so if you're standing in line with your pals, paying the allowance money mommy and daddy gave you to see this movie, remember this: why did 18 morons go to a movie? because under 18 was not allowed..