Tuesday, April 27, 2010

way to go, Arizona!!

no more Spics..let's declare a legal holiday!!
I for one am grateful dead that the wise folks in Arizona had the courage to say: no more spics in America! I mean it's getting ridiculous..brown people are everywhere now..in the fields picking our veggies, waiting on us (us=white folks) in restaurants and cooking our food! egadds, don't get cooties..or spickies!!
It's about time we cleaned up America with some industrial strength Spic and Span....ha ha..get it?? Taxpayers should not foot the bill everytime an illegal alien gets sick...although I'm not sure I ever have..but anyway, you know what I mean...and these Spic people are SO DIRTY and UGLY...don't they ever take a bath??
Crossing the borders to commit crimes and rape our women is unacceptable...if the gov't won't help, then Arizionians will take matters into their own hands..shoot to kill, I say. If you're brown, you're goin' down!! no more Frito bandidos!!
It doesn't matter to me that Mexico owned a good deal of the USA until we stole it from them, or that we invited them in to help us out during WWII...it's ours now and they need to get the fuck out and go back to Mexico and the drug lords...America has no such problems as long as we remain the Judeo-Christian little angels that we are, living pure and clean lives....
so let's celebrate Arizona... and NO MORE MEXICANS!!

Monday, April 26, 2010

you gotta serve somebody....

hey...if you're a private sector conservative, would you fetch me a soda??

have you ever noticed that all these so called economic geniuses/ theorists are working at a frenzied pace to blame the working class for the global economic meltdown. Their "work" consists of writing for private conservative (aka anti-union) papers or magazines, demonizing unions, teachers, nurses and public employees and saying NOTHING about the free market monetary systems they support that collapsed from the weight of greed and fraud..so while the conservatives catterwall about the working class and our increasing power, the real story is their inability to face the facts that Bush's retarded Texas cowboy act was extremely damaging to this country....now we are stabilizing the economy and I hope you are enjoying the nice little bull run on Wall Street..a better regulated Wall Street is a healthier America...
a few opinions from the web contrast the reality:
How public servants became our masters
Jan 13th 2010, 21:56 by Lexington
In REASON magazine, Steven Greenhut has a Jeremiad about public servants...
He opens with a tale from California, where hundreds of thousands of public servants have a "shield" in the state's record system between their car license plate numbers and their home addresses. This means they can run red lights with impunity, and are often let off other driving offenses. hey, how cool to be a county worker! you can run red lights!!??
What caused the Crisis?
As we celebrate year three of the Great Financial Crisis with the first official bailout of an entire country (Greece), I’m still astounded by the complete and utter lack of coverage the underlying cause of this Crisis has received.
Tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of articles and research reports have been written about the Crisis, and yet I would wager less than 1% of them actually bother talking about what caused it, let alone how the various efforts to stop it have in fact FAILED to address this key issue.
Remember back in 2007? At that time we were told it was all about Subprime mortgages. Then in 2008, we were told it was the investment banks, specifically Lehman Brothers’ failure and AIG’s credit default swaps. In 2009, we were told it was poor accounting standards and bad bets made by Wall Street. And here we are in 2010, and we’re still being told it was simply bad bets made by Wall Street.
All of these answers are partially right, but none of them are totally 100% accurate. Why? Because they fail to address the one underlying issue that links ALL of these items. I’m talking about the Black Hole of Finance: a bottomless pit that no official or regulator bothers mentioning in public because acknowledging it would mean acknowledging that all of the efforts to stop the Crisis are truly paltry.....
SO NOW YOU WANT TO GET MAD? We had eight years of Bush and Cheney, but now you get mad! You didn’t get mad when the Supreme Court stopped a legal recount and appointed a President. You didn’t get mad when Cheney allowed Energy company officials to dictate energy policy. You didn’t get mad when a covert CIA operative got ousted. You didn’t get mad when the Patriot Act got passed.. You didn’t get mad when we illegally invaded a country that posed no threat to us. You didn’t get mad when we spent over 600 billion(and counting) on said illegal war. You didn’t get mad when over 10 billion dollars just disappeared in Iraq. You didn’t get mad when you found out we were torturing people. You didn’t get mad when the government was illegally wiretapping Americans. You didn’t get mad when we didn’t catch Bin Laden. You didn’t get mad when you saw the horrible conditions at Walter Reed. You didn’t get mad when we let a major US city drown. You didn’t get mad when we gave a 900 billion tax break to the rich. You didn’t get mad when, using reconciliation; a trillion dollars of our tax dollars were redirected to insurance companies for Medicare Advantage which cost over 20 percent more for basically the same services that Medicare provides. You didn’t get mad when the deficit hit the trillion dollar mark, and our debt hit the thirteen trillion dollar mark. You finally got mad when the government decided that people in America deserved the right to see a doctor if they are sick. Yes, illegal wars, lies, corruption, torture, stealing your tax dollars to make the rich richer, are all okay with you, but helping other Americans… oh hell no. AND NOW YOU’RE MAD
remember when Wendy declared war on the working class? well, she's got one!!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

are you ready for the country??

Welcome to Farmville...
two things I don't get: white trash invading Santa Barbara and Farmville...there's a lot of farmers in Carp, but they're not fake, they grow real things in real dirt and they got farmer's daughters wut like to make hay!!
Farmville is some kind of social game they play on Facebook.. everything grows on Farmville, you can fertilize your neighbor's eggs, you can adopt giraffes, you can do all sorts of weird stuff...I swear to God, I must've missed an off ramp somewhere back awhile in my life...
because I don't understand all this chicken coop stuff....
here's some examples:
Toni is so happy to have a new baby Tree Kangaroo in her zoo that she wanted to celebrate by sharing a collectible baby animal topiary with her friends!
Kathie has completed the Gardening Tools Collection and wants to share a collectible for their friends!
Kathie was tending their cows when an adorable Baby Calf caught their eye! This Baby Calf is already eager to explore the world on their own and is looking for a new home.
Candy is constructing a Nursery Barn and needs help! They need their friends to send them 8 Bricks, 5 Wooden Boards, 3 Nails, 6 Bottles, and 3 Blankets
Don is trying to build a bigger Chicken Coop and they still need the help of 10 more friend(s)! Bigger coops can hold more chickens and more chickens mean more Mystery Eggs!
Sam was fertilizing Betty's crops and found these Spring Eggs to share!!
nope...I don't understand all this fake chicken coop stuff....
and I never will.....

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Earth to News-Press... Earth to News-Press...

whacking off with the K Reka....
if you've ever wondered why we're losing bees, butterflies, bats and other important species, look no further than the News-Press "Home and Garden" writer and "master gardener", K. Reka Badger. Her latest hallucination is about weeds. She writes of her intolerance of plants that come from other places, like Asia or Austrailia, or because they have some prickly thingies on them. She wants her intolernace to spread out into the wilds and suggests if you see a weed, or what appears to be a weed, to get a sample and drop it off to the county ag office...now, let's look at some plants she demonizes and the myths she spreads about them: blue gum eucalyptus trees are not weeds, they are simply a beautiful species that strikes fear in many due to the mistaken belief that they burn more than other trees..are these nitwits trying to tell me that they would rather stand next to a burning pine than a burning euc? silly, irrational fear... and the blue gums are home to protected species like owls and hawks and are favored by Monarch butterflies..there's no reason to destroy them; dandelions are survivors that nature wants to grow. Despite insane efforts to poison watersheds and landscapes, these hearty little flowers always come back...bees and butterflies like them and that's good enough reason to leave them alone!!
purple thistle is another lovely weed that grows everywhere..esp nice to see by the roadsides when I'm biking..purple and red finches use the seeds and silky innards of the thistle for nests...another good reason not to fear or hate this plant...so Ms. Badger, knock it off with the fear mongering and if you can't see the benefit of weeds, you need to get out more and observe nature..or get some professional help!  
Some of the benefits of weeds are listed below:
helping to conserve soil moisture and prevent erosion. A ground cover of weeds will reduce the amount of bare soil exposed helping to conserve nutrients, particularly nitrogen which could otherwise be leached away, especially on light soils.
food and shelter can be provided for natural enemies of pests and even alternative food sources for crop pests. The actual presence of weed cover may be a factor in increasing effectiveness of biological control of pests and reducing pest damage.
weeds can also be valuable indicators of growing conditions in a field, for example of water levels, compaction and pH.
weeds can be an important source of food for wildlife, especially birds. Bird populations have been declining on farmland over the last few decades and leaving weeds as a resource has been shown to help revive bird populations.
remember Reka,we're all native to Mother Earth and a balance among all species is the desired goal..

Saturday, April 17, 2010

core values...

don't be a boob, join the party!

awright..since everybody is fed up with everything, I'm gonna form my own political party. I will take the best aspects of all the other parties and mold it all into one..I will call it the TEAT PARTY!

That's right neighbors and friends, if you got nice teats, you're in! Awhile ago a friend of mine named Sonny asked all the women in SB to paint their nipples blue in honor of the Light Blue Line project that was about to be foisted on us, and some gals did just that...

some even did the orange orange lemon yellow color scheme..doesn't matter because a hooter is just as good a holler-back-girl, if you catch my meaning...

The first meeting of the new TEAT PARTY will be at my house..I'll need three volunteers...oh by the way guys, it's a women only party except for me...

so three ladies will come to my place and show me their tits and by virtue of Robert's Rules of Order, I'll examine the small ones first, then the next size, then the Double D's! With tits, size doesn't matter, softness does! So let's take back America from the commies, socies, cappies and hippies and celebrate teats and a softer gentler nation...what's wrong with that??

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

coliforms gone wild!

business in the street..
why do women change their kids' diapers in the back seat of their cars? is it because that's where the little tyke was conceived? I think youngsters should be trained to take a dump BEFORE LEAVING THE HOUSE!!

is that too much to ask??

Sunday, April 11, 2010

post it!

note to Republican Party:

then sign on the line

Saturday, April 10, 2010


who's sneaking out to capture a rainbow, everyone knows it's Windy..
the folks who live in Birnam Wood are starting to piss me off! They and Caltrans want to kill the rest of the East Valley eucalyptus trees..heritage trees mind you. They want to cut these trees down due to fear...not a good reason. Now, let us distinguish the blues gum eucs from the red gums...the blue gums are the big majestic ones and the red gums are the skinnier ones..some red gums are plagued with a mite that eats the leaves and makes a mess...those you can cut down. But the blue gums must stay. I'm hearing such nonsense from the scared little Birnam Wood golf wannabes hiding in their little gated Wonderland. They must be newbies because Birnam wasn't always so uptight. The last straw is when they let quack Dr. Laura in for a breakfast-with-Dr. Laura event...I shoulda gone and puked all over her quiche!!
The problem is the trees might be on private property which is right next to East Valley Road...hopefully there is an easement or the county can take control of the issue. Caltrans claims they want to work with the community but all evidence is to the contrary..look at the mess they made at Santa Claus Lane...do I have to sue to get them to clean it up?? Caltrans wants a straight line between point A and point B and no trees on the highways..that's it, that's all!
The folks who hate the eucs are spitting out the same myths I've heard over and over: the fire hazards, the falling hazards, etc. The trees are 100 years old and you can take out a few as has happened in the past, but not all of them.
now class, stop doodling and listen up! it takes three things to start a fire: oxygen, heat and fuel...it's the old fire triangle you may have heard about: EVERYTHING BURNABLE IS A FIRE HAZARD!! Even if they chopped all the blue gums down, a fire whipping through the canyons of East Valley, fanned by 100 mph winds in 100 plus degree heat will head for those million dollar houses first and fast and will burn everything in its path..wood, metal...everything! the fire triangle!!!
The eucs aren't the reason that the Jesusita, Tea and Zaca fires burned so much land and homes. People who ignored the FIRE TRIANGLE are the reason..stupid people..and these pissants at Birnam Wood are transfering and projecting their fear onto trees!!
Now, if they remove all the trees on East Valley Road outside Birnam Wood, they also remove the "egg break"...you know, there's some nutty nutty folks who might feel compelled to lob some extra large range-frees over that exposed ugly green fence....

Wednesday, April 7, 2010


oh sinners let's go down, down to the river and pray...
ever see that movie Holes with cabaret gal Eartha Kitt, Sigourney Weaver and Jon Voight...it was pretty good...they are both great actors but I'm puzzled by Voight, who is a teabagger. His politics are right wing whacked and he sounds like an idiot when he speaks political-eze..I think he does it to annoy his daughter Angelina Jolie, who's a lib and who, it seems, is taking over the void that Mother Teresa left. I've said it before and I'll say it again, the world went to hell when Mother died..I think even some of the terrorists liked her..she was a true Christian, not some hack trying to pick my pocket! So if Mother Angelina can take her place and continue her mission in a sexier way, I say go for it!
Now, that brings me to Arnold Schwarzenegger, the governor of California, put there by some of you rightwing jackasses..but that's water under the bridge and if we play our cards right, no more righties will besmirch our great state of California. Even Meg, who so far has shelled out $60 million to be governor, has underestimated the voters...but back to Arnold...he will leave the governorship and live in Carp with Maria and as long as they keep a low profile like a couple of coyotes, I don't mind. I have noticed a house rising in the Rancho Monte Alegre hills and I bet it's Arnold's and Maria's! It's cool! I'll be checking it out closer in the future..
and finally, Caltrans is digging more holes at the little Reynolds Ave off-ramp island...I watched them dig holes, and fill them, dig holes and fill them, dig holes and fill them...with my tax dollars!!!

Monday, April 5, 2010

separation anxiety...

birds flock, not people!!
is the county Santa Barbara endorsing religion with taxpayer money?? for a few years, the sunken garden at the Courthouse has been turned into a church by the Calvary religious cult and no one has said anything...well, I'm saying something... it's bad enough that the Vatican is enabling child molesters, but now the Christians have the gall to use Santa Barbara government property to hold religious services! Whatever happened to separation of church and state?? I feel that the County of Santa Barbara has violated the Constitution by allowing these fanatic knuckleheads to flock here and praise Jesus...they should do that in their own churches and not on government property!!
this should be clear: Religious groups can hold meetings, the court ruled, but when a religious group is turning public property into a regular church service, that constitutes government endorsement of religion.
no more religious meetings at the Courthouse!!
For almost 160 years this site has been the home of local government and a place of civic pride and celebration. Visitors from around the world come to see the courthouse, mural room and grounds. Hundreds get married in the Mural Room or in the Garden every year. The county caused the construction of this now historic courthouse in 1926, after the smaller Greek-Revival courthouse was damaged in an earthquake of the previous year... courthouse
the nonprofit churches don't pay taxes and now they expect me,a taxpayer, to support their lazy asses while they worship on government property...NO FUCKING WAY...this must stop and I will work to see that next year, the Courthouse won't be sullied in such a foul, despicable way.... damn phonies!

Friday, April 2, 2010

hold her down...

Happy Good Friday fellow Catholics!! (geez, what's with all these holidays?)
ok then.. I praised a News-Press reporter a few days ago. I offer them a bridge to cross, an olive branch, a fig leaf perhaps to mend our relationship and what do they do?? they go crazy again on April Fools Day..from another brown bag in the paper (this time with a front page explanation), to a front page story about Andy Caldwell (Sean Hannity Jr.) and his new radio show..Wendy is like Rupert Murdoch providing money to these punks!
apparently Andy had a popular radio show, the COLAB Report on Wendy's radio station KZSB and now Andy will star in "the Andy Caldwell Show" including interviews with "a guy from Israel" and pal politico Joe Armendariz from SBCTA..apparently Joe traded in his Mercedes for a new silvery Dodge Ram truck..a gift from a sugar daddy or mommy... but fair warning JOE: the next time you tailgate me will be your last! you really need to learn how to drive!!
now, I checked the radio ratings and the Colab Report/KZSB is not exacty high on the list!! KTYD is on top and KZSB is on the bottom..that's right, the bottom..down at the bottom of your mystery... see Wendy, the bottom is not the top, it's the bottom which means you don't win the popularity contest, you lose it..maybe the show is popular with some north county heffers??
and why do conservatives do polls every five minutes?? all they do is polls, a poll for this and that...are they Pollocks??
and lastly, NewsPress flunkies, since we're enemies again, why the fuck do you print Michelle Malkin's column..are you as dumb as that little buck-tooth nipperite? Yes I believe you are goddmit!! Michelle complains about Henry Waxman and all his investigations of private companies..."leave them alone" says Michelle...Waxman helped shine a light on ENRON and all the fraud this company perpetrated on California and PGE employees and investors..when there's no checks and balances in private corporations, then the job of government is to investigate the fraud and bust and REGULATE these corrupt bozos..not let them continue to rob Americans..are you really an American, Michelle? or is that just a chink in your disguise..remember the California rolling power blackouts?? TOTAL FRAUD BY ENRON creating artificial power shortages to drive up the prices!! that's ok with you Michelle??...you want to legalize rape, too?? and Bush and Arnold were in cahoots with Ken Lay and ENRON!!! but the real science fiction mystery is how Arnold got elected governor..I'm still trying to figure that one out...we need guys like Waxman to bust the sick corporate culture whose actions harm American workers..hang the motherfuckers and Michelle, if you're too stupid to understand that then spread your little pussy and I'll make you understand....

Thursday, April 1, 2010

april showers...

The Taco Liberty Bell
1996:The Taco Bell Corporation announced it had bought the Liberty Bell and was renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell. Hundreds of outraged citizens called the National Historic Park in Philadelphia where the bell was housed to express their anger. Their nerves were only calmed when Taco Bell revealed, a few hours later, that it was all a practical joke. The best line of the day came when White House press secretary Mike McCurry was asked about the sale. Thinking on his feet, he responded that the Lincoln Memorial had also been sold. It would now be known, he said, as the Ford Lincoln Mercury Memorial.

The Left-Handed Whopper
Burger King published a full page advertisement in USA Today announcing the introduction of a new item to their menu: a "Left-Handed Whopper" specially designed for the 32 million left-handed Americans. According to the advertisement, the new whopper included the same ingredients as the original Whopper (lettuce, tomato, hamburger patty, etc.), but all the condiments were rotated 180 degrees for the benefit of their left-handed customers. The following day Burger King issued a follow-up release revealing that although the Left-Handed Whopper was a hoax, thousands of customers had gone into restaurants to request the new sandwich. Simultaneously, according to the press release, "many others requested their own 'right handed' version."
Nixon for President

1992: National Public Radio's Talk of the Nation program announced that Richard Nixon, in a surprise move, was running for President again. His new campaign slogan was, "I didn't do anything wrong, and I won't do it again." Accompanying this announcement were audio clips of Nixon delivering his candidacy speech. Listeners responded viscerally to the announcement, flooding the show with calls expressing shock and outrage
Alabama Changes the Value of Pi
The April 1998 issue of the New Mexicans for Science and Reason newsletter contained an article claiming that the Alabama state legislature had voted to change the value of the mathematical constant pi from 3.14159 to the 'Biblical value' of 3.0. Soon the article made its way onto the internet, and then it rapidly spread around the world, forwarded by email. It only became apparent how far the article had spread when the Alabama legislature began receiving hundreds of calls from people protesting the legislation. The original article, which was intended as a parody of legislative attempts to circumscribe the teaching of evolution, was written by physicist Mark Boslough
Hotheaded Naked Ice Borers
Discover Magazine reported that the highly respected wildlife biologist Dr. Aprile Pazzo had found a new species in Antarctica: the hotheaded naked ice borer. These fascinating creatures had bony plates on their heads that, fed by numerous blood vessels, could become burning hot, allowing the animals to bore through ice at high speeds. They used this ability to hunt penguins, melting the ice beneath the penguins and causing them to sink downwards into the resulting slush where the hotheads consumed them. After much research, Dr. Pazzo theorized that the hotheads might have been responsible for the mysterious disappearance of noted Antarctic explorer Philippe Poisson in 1837. "To the ice borers, he would have looked like a penguin," the article quoted her as saying. Discover received more mail in response to this article than they had received for any other article in their history.