Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Where Have All The Flowers Gone

long time passing

so the Botanic Garden in Santa Barbara has turned into a Beer and Dog Show...the only way people can enjoy the Mission Canyon area is to be drunk while stepping in dogshit I guess...all these side shows are not what the Gardens are suppposed to be about...it's not a freaking country club!! and you may have noticed Santa Barbara has a drinking problem and a DUI problem..all lost on these idiots who push this event.. Steve Windhager is the bald Botanic Garden manager whose main concern is holding onto his job by indulging the boozers... a really stupid idea given the twisty roads in Mission Canyon

 I don't drink beer because it makes me tired and red-eyed...beer eyes....I am way too vain to allow alcohol to mess up my good looks .....but I had an idea for a Budweiser commercial and slogan: I go into this bar and see a group of hipsters sitting at a table discussing the craft beer they're drinking..the caramel citrus infusions and delightful nose or some such nonsense..then the bartender comes up to me and asks.."what'll it be?" and I say "just gimme a Bud" he smiles and says "coming right up!"

see? that's the commercial and the hook is "just gimme a Bud" which cuts through all the designer beer nonsense...craft beer is marketed to be diffferent than mass produced beer but it's all the same...so I thought my commercial idea was pretty good and if Budweiser uses it they better pay me!

now over at the Sentinel, the rightwing bratty booze rag run by Mont Journal people, they have a Jew Beer Guy named Zak who claims to be a cicerone...or beer expert but in reality there is no such thing...it's like having a degree from Trump University...

dumb and dumber

according to Popular Mechanics which is read by real men like me, the Cicerone Certification Program was started in 2008 and offers anyone with tuition money and a bottle opener any title they want, from beer server to master cicerone..

so while you can add anything to the beer making process, do we really need some phony jerk telling us how to drink beer? drinking beer for many people is a simple pleasure...let's keep it that way

besides, we already have cicerones..they are called bartenders!

Saturday, March 25, 2017

Fakin' It

not really makin' it

Trump is trying to drain the swamp while standing in a private cesspool and the gators are biting his ass!!

this dude is a total loser!!!

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Fly Like An Eagle

I wanna fly like an eagle
To the sea
Fly like an eagle
Let my spirit carry me

well there are too many dogs now..they're everywhere like cockroaches in the ghetto...we got three-legged pit bulls attacking little dogs at the Mission...and they keep breeding these mutts and people keep buying them...or they end up in Animal Services that Wendy McCuckoo supports with her endless supply of ill-gotten divorce money and some nut adopts the dog and kills it..

then the nonprofit Animal Rescue ladies chime in and the cycle is repeated...

it's stupid and embarrassing that these people have infected Santa Barbara


Monday, March 20, 2017

Memphis, Tennessee

Long distance information, give me Memphis Tennessee

help me find the party trying to get in touch with me
She could not leave her number, but I know who placed the call
'Cause my uncle took the message and he wrote it on the wall

Help me, information, get in touch with my Marie
She's the only one who'd phone me here from Memphis Tennessee
Her home is on the south side, high up on a ridge
Just a half a mile from the Mississippi Bridge

Help me, information, more than that I cannot add
Only that I miss her and all the fun we had
But we were pulled apart because her mom did not agree
And tore apart our happy home in Memphis Tennessee
Last time I saw Marie she's waving me good-bye
With hurry home drops on her cheek that trickled from her eye

Marie is only six years old, information please

Try to put me through to her in Memphis Tennessee

Saturday, March 18, 2017


this is where we've always been
it will always come again

I got tickets to see Rickie Lee Jones months ago and looked forward to her appearance Friday March 17 at the Arlington Theatre...even though my truck's tranny went all transgender on me, I rented a Toyota Avalon which runs circles around the truck..bitchin car!! so Friday night I was styling into Santa Barbara to see Rickie Lee Jones and Madeleine Peyroux....


got there early to check out the street life and I like this area..used to live here...watched girls walk around...passed a little cafe with sidewalk seats and one guy was yelling at some lady not to take pictures of his dog..the lady told him she wasn't taking pictures of the dog...I don't know who is more neurotic..the designer dogs in this town or their owners...geez how silly can they be?? give the dog a modeling fee then take his pic!!

so the Arlington doors open at 7:00 PM and I rush in and get some popcorn which set me back six bucks!! worth every penny as sit in this beautiful old theatre with comfy seats unlike the Lobero...

Madeleine Peyroux opened the show with her guitar player and stand-up bass player..they were good...volume was real low though and wish they would've busted loose... Madeline was funny and had some really good songs..."Lady Of Pigalle" was brilliant...no cameras allowed so I had to shoot fast and on the run

but I wanted to see Rickie Lee...after a short break, Rickie Lee came onstage to a very adoring crowd..I'd heard stories that her concerts were unpredictable and she would storm off stage at the drop of a hat but nothing even remotely close to that happened..instead we all witnessed Rickie Lee Jones in her finest form...a stellar guitar player and percussionist joined her..and Rickie Lee is a very good guitarist and mind-boggling piano player...and her voice was perfectly beaautiful, reaching those chilling high notes with such ease and passion...

I was entralled as she played beauty after beauty on her acoustic guitar...she was laughing and joking with the audience..she dumped an electric guitar that wouldn't stay in tune and took the mic for some soulful jazz....


then she sits down at the piano and plays a song called 'Infinity' ..it was absolutely gorgeous and had me holding back some salty tears...the interplay with her percussionist was epic!!

Jesus Christ, this woman is a genius and I was so happy to be there in that theatre watching her in such good form and health...she rocked the house and she rocked me..

Rickie Lee Jones rocked me, that's for sure

Tuesday, March 14, 2017


you better take care, if I find you been creeping 'round my back stairs

the sunsets and sunrises have been pretty spectacular but then I started thinking one evening...I was sitting outside and watched as jet after jet zigzagged across the sky leaving contrails the likes of which I've never witnessed

this was around sundown and I've heard that the gov't will add poison (chemtrails) to the jets and spray the population to kill off the weak..and the strong who pose a threat..that's what I think Trump is doing

Trump thinks Obama is not an American citizen and he thinks Obama wiretapped Trump Towers...

well, I think President Trump is trying to kill me

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

A Day In The Life

I'd love to turn you on....

today is "A Day Without A Woman"....so that leaves me with only weird men walking their weird little  dogs and that just won't do...

then I remembered the Ringo concert at the SB Bowl a few years back and there were many women here, there and everywhere..stone cold beautiful women... and we all sang along to some cool old Beatles tunes...

♪ ♫ I get high with a little help from my friends ♪ ♫

the Beatles had a lot of songs and the best ones were inspired by a woman

but there's one woman I can do without and that's Wendy McCucko...Wendy owns and is co-publisher of the News-Press with her dimwitted boyfriend Nipper, who is also listed as co-publisher..Nipper hired Dr. Laura to write her nutty column years ago, but when I exposed her as the fraud she is, she quit...

I read the news today oh boy and saw that Dr. Laura won a yacht race in Santa Barbara...she was busted and disciplined for cheating before...here's some web stuff on the old bitch and I bet the judges will find she cheated on the latest race, at the Yacht Club in Santa Barbara!


so you got two co-publishers at the News-Press but no publisher???

a federal court just found Wendy guilty of breaking labor laws...she will appeal with her divorce money still funding her paranoia, but she will lose again and the reporters who worked under her mismangament will get some measure of satisfaction

now that's a turn-on!!

Saturday, March 4, 2017

Sugar, Sugar

ah, honey honey

now Andy Caldwell I think would be back at the sugar plantation if it wasn't for rich folk like Wendy employing him..or maybe he could've worked for Brietbart, the crazy rightwing media outlet that now claims Obama wiretapped the Trump Towers during the election!! and Trump believes it!! he also believed Obama was not an American citizen..CRAZY SHIRTS!!!

is Andy a pedo???

I find it curious that the News-Press/Andy Caldwell would defend disgraced former Brietbart editor Milo Yannonopilous, the gay guy who thinks it's ok for men to have sex with 13 year old boys...ok the News-Press did have thousands of child porn images on a company computer, and this is stuff that demands investigations..are Wendy Nipper and Andy pedophiles??

Andy who got a radio gig with Wendy's News-Press Radio, AM-1290, says he interviewed Milo and found him 'brilliant'....

but the tape of Milo talking about pedophilia was clear-cut and not at all brilliant

Milo: "Pedophilia is not a sexual attraction to somebody 13-years-old who is sexually mature. Pedophilia is attraction to children who have not reached puberty. Pedophilia is attraction to people who don’t have functioning sex organs yet. Who have not gone through puberty. Who are too young to be able (unclear and cut off by others)…That’s not what we are talking about. You don’t understand what pedophilia is if you are saying I’m defending it because I’m certainly not."

In a recently resurfaced episode of "The Drunken Peasants" podcast, the alt-right provocateur recalled his own sexual abuse as a teen and did not condemn similar relationships between children and men.

Yiannopoulos, in fact, said young boys "discover who they are" through such relationships, even when they're sexual in nature, and can "give them security and safety and provide them with love and a reliable rock where they can't speak to their parents."

"I'm grateful for Father Michael," Yiannopoulos replied. "I wouldn't give nearly such good head if it wasn't for him."

so does this sound like guy who is "brilliant" or just another pervert?? and of course, Caldwell, who is a Christian..actually a faux-Christian, didn't include any of the real quotes from the Milo tape!!

Andy then tries to blame the liberals for Milo's downfall..but the liberals were right on...sound instincts about Milo, the perv

anything you read or hear from Brietbart is born of paranoia, bias and ignornance..

Obama wire-tapping the Trump Tower...geez

I am still waiting for JUSTIVE on the News-Press child porn issue!!!

Thursday, March 2, 2017


Oh sinnerman, where you gonna run to?

Ash Wednesday is the beginning of Lent for Catholics..we fast, we turn away from sin and that means molesting children which is very uncool!! so I guess Wendy fancies herself a bible thumping Christian now that she employs Brother preacher Caldwell and Christian Don Katich...and still I wait for JUSTICE for the thousands of child porn images on Wendy's compant computer!!!

will new Atty General Jeff Sessions resign for lying?? LYING IS A SIN!!!

Oh sinnerman, where you gonna run to?
Sinnerman, where you gonna run to?
Where you gonna run to?
All along dem day
Well I run to the rock, please hide me
I run to the rock, please hide me
I run to the rock, please hide me, lord
All along dem day
But the rock cried out, I can't hide you
The rock cried out, I can't hide you
The rock cried out, I ain't gonna hide you guy
All along dem day
I said, rock, what's a matter with you rock?
Don't you see I need you, rock?
Lord, lord, lord

All along dem day