Where Have All The Flowers Gone

long time passing

so the Botanic Garden in Santa Barbara has turned into a Beer and Dog Show...the only way people can enjoy the Mission Canyon area is to be drunk while stepping in dogshit I guess...all these side shows are not what the Gardens are suppposed to be about...it's not a freaking country club!! and you may have noticed Santa Barbara has a drinking problem and a DUI problem..all lost on these idiots who push this event.. Steve Windhager is the bald Botanic Garden manager whose main concern is holding onto his job by indulging the boozers... a really stupid idea given the twisty roads in Mission Canyon

 I don't drink beer because it makes me tired and red-eyed...beer eyes....I am way too vain to allow alcohol to mess up my good looks .....but I had an idea for a Budweiser commercial and slogan: I go into this bar and see a group of hipsters sitting at a table discussing the craft beer they're drinking..the caramel citrus infusions and delightful nose or some such nonsense..then the bartender comes up to me and asks.."what'll it be?" and I say "just gimme a Bud" he smiles and says "coming right up!"

see? that's the commercial and the hook is "just gimme a Bud" which cuts through all the designer beer nonsense...craft beer is marketed to be diffferent than mass produced beer but it's all the same...so I thought my commercial idea was pretty good and if Budweiser uses it they better pay me!

now over at the Sentinel, the rightwing bratty booze rag run by Mont Journal people, they have a Jew Beer Guy named Zak who claims to be a cicerone...or beer expert but in reality there is no such thing...it's like having a degree from Trump University...

dumb and dumber

according to Popular Mechanics which is read by real men like me, the Cicerone Certification Program was started in 2008 and offers anyone with tuition money and a bottle opener any title they want, from beer server to master cicerone..

so while you can add anything to the beer making process, do we really need some phony jerk telling us how to drink beer? drinking beer for many people is a simple pleasure...let's keep it that way

besides, we already have cicerones..they are called bartenders!