Sunday, June 30, 2013

saved by zero

Maybe someday
Saved by zero
I'll be more together


crippled by stress, Scott hobbles along with nurse close by
ok it's summer and here come the booze festivals...Santa Barbara must have more alcoholics per capita than any place in the world!!

let's see, there's the Wine Festival, the Beer and Car Festival/Tequila Fest at Elings Park, the Fiesta Tequila Festival at the Cabrillo Arts Center....and the Funk Zone has more wine tasting rooms per block than should be's like having 10 liquor stores on Milpas by Trader Joe's!!

now all this booze creates plenty of social problems like drunk driving, violence and puking in public, but the booze-enabling News-Press seems to be oblivious to the realities of drunk in point is Scott Steepleton's yellow story about the SBPD DUI unit..the article on the front page took some facts from the police dept and turned them into a fiction about reducing DUI monitoring by the cops...Scott takes some weird data from 2006 and an unnamed case with Judge Brian Hill and concludes the cops are no longer interested in tracking DUI cases!! and he goes back to 2011 to supply more unrelated data to support his was the strangest attempt yet to discredit the cops...

the fact is in gov't work, duties are changed, schedules are changed, operational shifts are changed to meet the current needs of any department..this is such basic ignorance from the News-Press because they have never worked on a all stems from Wendy getting rich off her ex-husband, the ultra-weird Craig McCaw!

so the cops will continue arresting and dealing with drunks and taxpayers will keep footing the bill for idiots like DeNunzio, Lance and Martin Maguire...

but it's telling that this story coincides with a story about Peter Lance in Sunday's Life Section of the paper..a fluff piece about his "investigative journalism" prowess...

so Scott Steepleton and the News-Press printed a bogus story about the cops going easy on social drinkers who DUI so they could make Peter Lance look like some kind of hero for today's Life story??

I call that a big zero...

you don't miss your water

till your well runs dry

so I read that 17 steelhead trout died..I mean salmon, err it rainbow!! they all look alike..ok it's trout...17 steelhead trout's been confirmed....well at least they might have tried dying in my frying pan

some people are trying to save the steelhead from the brink of extinction but killing them is not the way to do it unless they are adopting the Channel Islands model (Nature Con/Park Service) of killing everything to save and restore everything....

but it seems some of the creeks around the area are dry...Rincon Creek where I go to meditate is pretty much low...just enough water to to support some water bugs, polliwogs and an occasional sip from some coyotes...but steelhead won't last a minute here....not even after a heavy rain

up at Cachuma, the level is low and silt is a big problem...Cachuma is a man-made lake created by Bradbury Dam.... the dam is on the Santa Ynez river, or the Río Grande de San Vernardo River

Water from Lake Cachuma is diverted into the Tecolote Tunnel, which passes south under the Santa Ynez Mountains. The tunnel supplies water to the city of Santa Barbara (which uses it for drinking water), the Goleta Water District, the Carpinteriaa Valley Water District, and the Montecito Water District. Water from Lake Cachuma is released into the Santa Ynez River below Bradbury Dam in order to satisfy downstream water rights

The other two reservoirs are Gibraltar Reservoir, impounded by Gibraltar Dam, and Jameson Lake, impounded by Juncal Dam. Gibraltar Reservoir supplies water to the City of Santa Barbara via the Santa Barbara Water Tunnel under the Santa Ynez Mountains. Jameson Lake supplies water to the Montecito Water District via another tunnel under the Santa Ynez Mountains

In the 1940s the Santa Ynez River was thought to have the largest run of Steelhead trout(Oncorhyncus mykiss) south of San Francisco Bay. Prior to the completion of Cachuma Dam in 1953, the steelhead run on the Santa Ynez River was estimated to be as high as 25,000 adults. Three decades earlier, in 1920, the Gibraltar Dam was built and blocked access to spawning in the upper watershed, so early twentieth century steelhead runs were likely much higher still.
lots of dams around here because we are semi-arid meaning we don't get alot of we better use it wisely or we'll all be drinking sand...

so a pump at Cachuma failed during a power outage and somehow the steelhead were left without enough water...the pumps kick on to supply water to places that don't have sufficient water because like I said, we don't have the water for all these noble yet naive saving/restoration programs...

any creek that needs pumps to supply water for the fish is not much of a creek!!

and water rights! oh the water rights..ranchers and city folks and fish are all battling for a drop of the liquid gold...

as Mark Twain said: whiskey is for drinking, water is for fightin' over...

Saturday, June 29, 2013

ride away

from Boston to the Gulf of Mexico, we're riding high in Colorado, we're gonna reach the Pacific ocean too..ride away!!

so the night before the Rods and Roses Parade in Carpinteria, we had an accident on Highway 101 by Santa Monica Road....I saw the smoke and the fire engine rushing to help..also on the bill was Bullitt at the Plaza Theater on Friday night...

and now it's Saturday... nice day for a parade/ I got on the bike even with a strained hamstring from riding that 27 year old chick, well I can still ride..ride away..
girls and cool cars and hey there's a little VW- like the one in 'Bullitt' that kept re-appearing in the car chase scenes in San Francisco...

and then down to the campground...full of families having fun...and nowhere did I see Andy Granatelli....


good show!!

Friday, June 28, 2013

my boy lollipop

you make my heart go giddy-up

when I want dirt, I read the if and or pretense at journalism.. I always know where they stand...they are heads and tails above the News-Press in all catagories...where else can I find such awesome pictures of Burt Reynolds and Robert Conrad??? Conrad was maimed while DUI years ago

actress busted for DUI...well when I read the arrest reports I see people still getting pulled over for DUI...and since airybody is innocent till proven otherwise, I will watch to see what happens as my tax money is used to walk these folks thru the justice system...

but I don't like drunk drivers one little bit..and I don't like all this alcohol worship either like alcohol is gonna solve anybody's anyway this chick was an actress on the soap Santa Barbara and now she's a local Pilates names for now

SPA director busted for DUI???
well..I don't hang out in Spas generally because I'm not a conservative woman...but there are lots of spas everywhere where you can go and get a facial or pedicure...and they have gals that call themselves Aesthetic Nurse Specialist and Practitioners...

so one Spa won an award in the News-Press ...Evolutions, has won the title of "Best Medical Spa" by the readers of the Santa Barbara News Press.

ok that's fine but...well I guess you can buy a bunch of skin care products and the guy who owns the place is a cosmetic MD...

from their website:
Clients typically go to a medical spa to achieve a result, whether it is to remove unwanted hair, to rejuvenate their skin, or to reduce wrinkles, acne, cellulite, etc. The aesthetic field is rapidly advancing and the technology is constantly changing and improving. To achieve the best results, it is important to receive treatments with the best technology available.

Dr. Perkins constantly evaluates technological advances and has invested well over a half a million dollars to bring the latest and very best technology to the Santa Barbara area. No location from LA to San Francisco has better technology than Evolutions. Additionally, Dr. Perkins has developed a number of exclusive protocols (such as Total Tightening
) that synergistically combine multiple technologies in order to maximize the benefits for our clients...

now my view of all this is it's nonsense.. a ripoff for vain clients with zero self-esteem who are constantly trying to look like Barbie dolls...all suffer from "body dysmorphic disorder" to some degree

and now I see someone who may work at the SPA was busted for DUI...why am I not surprised??

Carpinteria architect's son busted for assault and battery for the umpteenth time....ok this dude is starting to get on my nerves..he is always getting busted for DUI or assault and he was just in court, then released and he gets busted again for assault and battery...his name is Marcos Ellinwood and he lives around the corner on his daddy's property on Cravens Lane..his daddy is on the ARB in Carp and wants to build the phony green project Green Heron Springs which I never liked or supported-but the City of Carp likes hasn't been built for whatever reason, maybe the economy, but the archtiect Scott Ellinwood is weird..he approached me once in his car while I was on my bike years ago, and asked if I had seen his dog...and he kept talking looking at me like I was a lollipop....

well I'm not a lollipop!

for no one

Coyote, Coyote, Please tell me
What is a shaman?

A shaman I don’t know
anything about.
I’m a doctor, myself.
When I use medicine,
it’s between me,
my patient,
and the Creation.

Coyote, Coyote, Please tell me
What is power?

It is said that power
is the ability to start
your chainsaw
with one pull.

Coyote, Coyote, Please tell me
What is magic?

Magic is the first taste
of ripe strawberries and
magic is a child dancing
in a summer’s rain.

Coyote, Coyote, Please tell me
Why is Creation?

Creation is because I
went to sleep last night
with a full stomach,
and when I woke up
this morning,
everything was here.

Coyote, Coyote, Please tell me
Who you belong to?

According to the latest
survey, there are certain
persons who, in poetic
or scholarly guise,
have claimed me like
a conqueror’s prize.

Let me just say
once and for all,
just to be done:
he belongs to none.

Thursday, June 27, 2013

reelin' in the years

stowing away the time....

while the Lobero Theater gets destroyed and turned into a wine bar..ugh!! the Sings Like Hell tour moved over to Santa Barbara Junior the Marjorie Luke Theater...oh I love this school...saw the Byrds there, wore wing tips there, fell in love there, wore weird Hawaiian shirts there, learned French there...

got enrolled when we moved to Santa Barbara in the was a big deal back then and we had concerts at the junior high and the high band played one of them and the administrators told me to turn down my fuckin way did I do that.. I let it rip: and her name is G-L-O-R-I-Iyiyiy-A ...G-L-O-R-I-A... Gloria!!!!...three problem...

there were plenty of musicians at the school and the good ones were in the school band.... much better players than I.... I remember one guy Randy LeGassick who played alot...he was a tall friendly fellow..he was in private bands and school bands and always played that trombone like an old pro...he was really good....this was in the days of Blood Sweat and Tears and Chicago....brass instruments were mixed with rock and it was brilliant....

these guys up on that SBJHS stage, playing some awesome music..well I really admired them...and they made the trombone cool again!!

then I read that Randy recently died at age 59....he made a CD with some guys in 2000, an instrumental tribute to Steely Dan: Garden Party - No Static At All: Steely Dan Tribute... check it's gorgeous

Randy and I moved in somewhat different circles, but I thank him for standing up there, standing tall and playing the hell out of that big trombone...I noticed... in Santa Barbara...back in those glory, those Gloria, those glorious days...

my mind has a mind of its own

It takes me out a walkin' when I'd rather stay at home

"what is the News-Press but a yellow journal that dips into human misery to print its sloppy human interest stories"

so we have Andy Caldwell and Cat Cora to discuss today...Andy for his mental religious views and Cat for her new shoes..

ok so Andy, who is totally the Mental Midget of the north county, can't draw any logical conclusions in his News-Press guest editorials and Wednesday was no exception...Andy bemoans psychology as a fake science because he says psychologists can't prove anything...and then he says American morals are in decline because people have turned away from God! well, Andy where is God and why don't he show his lowdown face??? I mean talk about something you can't prove!!

it all starts when Andy can't figure out why soldiers are killing themselves...because they can't cope or get the services they need from the VA he says...Andy Caldwell is a guy who doesn't understand battle or human nature so a few psychology classes would benefit him...

why do you suppose WW2 produced so many alcoholics from the greatest generation...or drug users in Vietnam...or the Iraq and Afghanistan wars...young people coming back without limbs from wars we sent them into...wars that served no purpose but to what end??

the question is why does America keep getting into these crazy wars?? uh, well maybe we really are all mental!!

organized religion produces the most insane among us so trying to understand all the god-fearing repression is what Jung and Freud were all about.. delve into the human mind and psychology can set you free, but it's not all easy- peasy...there's no quick answers like just pray, send the TV evangelist money (their version of sowing seeds) and it will all be ok..Andy you are the reason they invented abnormal psychology!! you're a case diagnosis Andy after reading your fluff in the News-Press is you suffer from an organic mental disorder, you have some some impulse control issues, an hysterical neurosis, and some sexual issues- esp with Supervisor Janet Wolf-you wanna bang her in the worst is available dude

Designing Woman

next we have Cat Cora the chef/chowder gal who crashed into someone on State St after fighting with her girlfriend at Colds Spings Tavern and DUI...well I trust Cat won't be driving drunk anymore but I like her new line of shoes: the Tipsy Gay, the Hangover and the Mr. Bojangles...we stylin' now, Cat!!!

cool jerk
then we got Swedish guy who likes to masturbate while riding his bike..the cops got him on video and are looking for him... now who do you think could explain this perverted exhibitionist behavior better, a psychologist or a preacher???

that'll be 5 cents, please

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

turn turn turn

to everything there is season

now I think most non-profits are worthless pieces of shit..that's just fact...they hide behind their tax-exempt status to promote wars and racism and other tawdry of course the IRS should scrutinize them, like I am gonna do today....there's a story at the Independent about the $th of July parade in Santa Barbara..the parade organizers are a non-profit called the Spirit of 76 Foundation run by a guy named Paul Lamberton-your group can get an application to participate in the parade...apparently, the Veterans for Peace applied but were turned down...the Veterans for Peace gather at West Beach on Sundays to protest the wars we get ourselves into...they put American flags in the sand to represent thousands of dead soldiers..the Spirit of 76 Foundation hangs a giant American flag on the side of the Lobero Theater to show their patriotism...

a few years ago, Lamberton's group wanted to put a replica of the Statue of Liberty at Stearn's Wharf...I was all for it but the SB city council shot it down...

then he tried to get the Lady Liberty to the French Festival but it didn't arrive in time or something...

ok so the problem is the Veterans for Peace were denied a spot in the 2013 $th of July parade and the reason seems rather suspect...there was a supposed tussle between the the two groups last year, so Lamberton denied the vets this that a legit reason or is the reason really you can see, the this year's theme is America the Beautiful and having an anti-war group of vets on a float may not fit in with the "rah rah" chickenhawk atmosphere...

so the issue seems to be censorship..and improper use of the nonprofits tax exempt today I will launch an investigation of the Spirit of 76 Foundation..while they claim to be nonpartisan on their webpage, they are heavily supported by the Tea Party and are pro-teabaggers...this is a blatant misuse of the nonprofit and their tax exempt status should be revoked!!

who does this guy Lamberton think he is, Cap't America???

had the Veterans for Peace application not been denied, all this would not be an issue

but I don't need no punk teabaggers telling me how to be patriotic, I decide, not them...I don't need no stinkin' teabagger telling me to move to France if I don't like America..the fact is I love France and America and I will move between the cultures as I see fit!!! you got that, homeboy???

here's some lies I uncovered right from the Spirit of '76 website:

Spirit of `76 is a non-profit 501c3 organization. The group is non-partisan and non-political.


The all-volunteer Spirit of ’76 Association works very hard to bring together individuals and organizations of diverse political and partisan origins. Each represents a thread in the creation of this unique fabric of our community.

it appears the Spirit of 76 Foundation and Lamberton want to censor the Veterans for Peace..and censorship will not be tolerated in my America!!

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

world in changes

still goin' through...

so I'm getting ready to coach a football game and all the guys are's a great big field we're on, grass glistening on a sunny day...I can see some orange goal posts in the distance and some kids running around excitedly, their voices clear and reassuring...

I get a brown leather football but it's deflated and laying on the ground...the kids and a few adults gather 'round...I get on my knees and insert a needle and pump the football says 8 pounds maximum but I go to 9 pounds and bust the rubber bladder inside...I look around and everybody is staring solemnly at the football, which looks like a shriveled up aborted fetus..I panic a little and tell everyone to use a baseball or a basketball to start the game and that I'll go buy another football and be back soon...they all shake their heads and mutter and one assistant coach says they can't use a basketball to play football..I say I know- but to try and I'd be back soon..

so I hop on my bike and go look for a football..I get to an old toy store and see two footballs on the counter among a bunch of antique stuff, and pick one up..I insert a needle again and blow it up but it's huge.... way too big to looks like a caricature of a football...I walk around rather anxious then the store gal comes out and asks "can I help you...sir?"

I look at her intently, she's blonde and rather entitled but I ask if she's got a regulation size football anyway..she shows me some green sneakers...what ever happened to customer service??

I leave and get on my bike..there's some more stores in Carp...I tell myself I should have driven my truck but keep riding the thing I know I'm hanging out with Dave Mason, the rocker, and a few others and we are discussing rubber and Dave says it's a resource that people take for granted...he laments all the tires sitting in dumps and I say they recycle those and use them to fill the roads, to resurface some of the roads...

everyone looks at me without saying a thing...there faces all dull and rubbery....

it's 6:00 am and I woke up from that dream...apparently Michael Jackson couldn't dream like that because his REM was interrupted by drugs or whatever...if you can't dream, you'll die

as for the football, well...I'll be looking for one today...

Monday, June 24, 2013

jam up and jelly tight

Jam up and jelly tight. My, my, my baby. Now you're outta sight. Jam up and jelly tight. You look a little naughty. But you're so polite. Jam up and jelly tight

so in the News-Press Style/Salon section I see two blondes who share a sense of style and tell you about it on their blog, Golden White Decor...

you wanna see some white?? c'mon baby I'll show you some white!!

the story was about the gals and how they can help unclutter your computer desk, as you can see by the picture of one gal at her computer...see how nice white and clean everything is?

you know what I notice? I notice a pussy riot..I can almost see some fine white Montecito pussy because her skirt is riding pretty high, which is what I'd be doing now if she would come over and clean my desk, and clean my clock while she's at it!!

oh I almost forgitted! the girls like to stay positive on their blog, they love that scammer preacher goofball Joel Osteen... and they "reap what they sew".... sew?? oh, I guess they make clothes too!!

wow! hey why doesn't the News-Press do a story on my blog?? c'mon Wendy, I'm waiting for a blonde..any blonde...

Sunday, June 23, 2013


just keep getting harder to find....

it's bad enough we have the News-Press advocating drug use, it's bad enough when Elings Park has a Tequila Festival, it's bad enough we have wine tasting rooms proliferating like zits on my bum, but the pro-drug use column by John Stossel in yesterday's News-Press was just crazy....

they want to legalize crack, meth and a host of other drugs for "recreational use" them that's the ultimate get wasted...just ask Wendy's pal Michael Douglas about his son Cameron's drug use...Cameron is in jail for dealing and using heroin... or how about Nipper, how does he feel about heroin addiction?? he lost his son to the editorials on that, guys??

how irresponsible can these people low has the News-Press sunk??

so Stossel cites a study by a guy, a supposed psychologist named Dr.Carl Hart from Columbia University to argue that illegal drugs aren't really so bad after all..

here's some sound advice from Dr. Meth, as he is called

So you wouldn’t say that methamphetamine is more dangerous or worse for you than marijuana, alcohol, cocaine, or Adderall?
I wouldn’t say that generally, no. But I would say that with unrestricted use, marijuana you might be ok. Unrestricted use of amphetamines you would get into more trouble. Unrestricted use of heroin, it depends on how you’re doing it, because if you’re injecting typically your veins will collapse and that will save you at some level, so even with that you might be ok. But with amphetamines, paranoia can develop if you take large doses over extended periods of time, so no I wouldn’t say that one is less dangerous than the other, but with unrestricted use you might want to stay with marijuana.

Will meth cause someone to engage in outrageous sexual behavior?
Yeah, that’s crazy. The bottom line is this, amphetamines are good drugs, whether they’re methamphetamine or d-amphetamine, good drugs to make people more alert, to improve their performance; you know, particularly performance that’s been disrupted, so you can last longer, stay awake longer. So all of those kinds of things are advantageous for people who are going to engage in sex as well as other behaviors. Cocaine will do the same thing, except cocaine’s effects won’t last as long.

So smoking crystal meth could possibly be… beneficial?
You know I think that theoretically yeah, I can’t argue with that. But the likelihood of that happening of course is low.

What many Americans, including many scientists, think they know about drugs is turning out to be totally wrong. For decades, drug war propaganda has brainwashed Americans into blaming drugs for problems ranging from crime to economic deprivation. In his new book High Price: A Neuroscientist's Journey of Self-Discovery That Challenges Everything You Know About Drugs and Society, Carl Hart blows apart the most common myths about drugs and their impact on society, drawing in part on his personal experience growing up in an impoverished Miami neighborhood. Hart has used marijuana and cocaine, carried guns, sold drugs, and participated in other petty crime, like shoplifting. A combination of what he calls choice and chance brought him to the AIr Force and college, and finally made him the first black, tenured professor of sciences at Columbia University..

and he's a crackhead!!! hahaha

ok so that's an example of a guy who's shouldn't be in the psychology profession...he's a quack

and folks who can't deal with reality are usually the ones who are chasing's all in the psychology's wisdom in the books

people who feel inferior, like Stossel who's always complaining about the gov't is after him are the cocaine users...initailly, coke makes you feel better about yourself,'s a fake stimulant that wears off..then you're back to square you really need to discover why you need drugs in the first place..and that takes some real inner work...some effort and some guts

now remember when Richard Pryor was free-basing crack and he lit himself on fire? cocaine use inceases paranoia, destroys nasal passages, and has no redeeming qualities at all....

yet people are addicted to it and still use it, esp the white collar wealthy set...

hard working Americans don't spend time doing drugs..they got kids and mortgages and they get up and go to work everyday...

the other guys, like Stosell don't work for a living..they are the parasites who sit around and get high and whine about gov't interfering with their right to get high...

I'm with Nancy Reagan on this one: just say no

Stossel is a very creepy guy, a freak, a poof..does he think we're gonna give up the war on drugs and start legalizing meth and crack??

not on my watch

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Society's Child

Now, I could understand your tears and your shame/ she called you 'Boy' instead of your name/when she wouldn't let you inside/when she turned and said, "But honey, he's not our kind"

this was in the News-Press online : Former Colorado congressman Tom Tancredo gave the opening address at the 2013 Young Americans for Freedom high school conference Thursday evening, speaking to a crowd of 75 high school students from across the country. The event was held at the Reagan Ranch Center in downtown Santa Barbara. Young Americans for Freedom is a nonprofit organization that sponsors conservative conferences for high school and college students and brings conservative speakers to college campuses....

then I got the paper and had a chuckle or two..well this always happens Wendy throws these tightly sealed little neocon parties and then reports on them the next day in her paper....the speakers are the ones who are killing real conservatism....Tancredo, Bachman, Phyllis all tea baggers!!

ok there's a couple of problems..first we got Wendy's non-profit the Young Miss America Foundation and next we got a new non-profit, the Young Americans for it any wonder the IRS is scrutinizing these scammers?? and by the way, that's Young White Americans for Freedom, right Wendy??

then we have Tom Tancredo a nutjob teabagger if there ever was one talking to 75, 75 kids from across the the country, telling them about....ahhh, let me see, the absense of patriotism among young people today....oh really? and then the old stand-by that America was founded on Judeo-Christian values....oh really? Congress shall make no law establishing any one religion..or the free exercise of any you are freedom to worship anything you want or not...the irony is Tancredo doesn't have a clue what America is all about...the teabaggers are false patriots, ie, scoundrels!!!
from the web: The Constitution is secular -- freedom of religion, no religious test to hold office, etc.

The society embraced Christian values, as nearly all citizens were Christians. Faith, Hope, Charity were pretty much universally held to be the highest moral values.

But one quickly finds sectarian differences... Is "Hard Work" a Christian value, or merely a "Western" value? How universal was the Calvinist view of mankind as intrinsically sinful? Some would have said yes...but many would have said no. The Quakers and the Calvinists, both Christian, would have seen many things very differently.

By and large, the claim "America was founded on Christian Values" is a slogan used by those who do not favor separation of church and state. It's a shibboleth of the conservative Christian Right, designed to return to the days of mandatory school prayer. And so, to that degree, not only no, but hell no.

what will never happen is Wendy opens the Reagan Center up to the public to debate the issues..this is all a controlled farce and force feeding the kids her anti-gov't agenda is very unhealthy
and on the very same day, the Voices section had a column by Fox News guy John Stossel, a big anti-gov't guy who wants to legalize drugs....Stossel cites a study at Columbia University (Peter Lance, Dr. Laura alumni) that says most people who use pot, meth, crack cocaine don't go on to become addicted..that is probably the stupidest thing I've ever heard and I'll have more on this Stossel jackass later....

hey Bill O'Reilly-howz about a new book called "Killing the Republican Party"...

Thursday, June 20, 2013

sweet little sixteen

all the cats wanna dance with....

Ryan Seacreast is plague upon humanity...he brought us the Kardashians reality show....I've watched it a few times for Kim's boobs, but it's just fluff and empty calories..

Ryan Seacrest is an embarrassment to white men everywhere

now I learn from the Montecito Journal and my pal Richard Mineards who lives for this kind of stuff, that a new reality show called "Montecito" will be thrust upon us soon...

they commenced shooting at the Polo Fields...just a stone's throw from where I live so that makes me special... I was there and saw some action....I was there with rockin' country star Brad Paisley and his's some pictures...Brad's in the cowboy hat and I'm behind the tree...

according to Mineard's the show will be about Montecito women between the ages of 15 and 60 which is inneresting because those are my cut-off ages-15 and 60-no girls younger than 15 or older than 60!

ok so...15...hmmmmm....

well, I..uh..well anyway the women mentioned to be featured in A&E reality series, Montecito are names I've heard of before and I've seen them before and they look like a bunch of old whores and gold diggers!! Gene Montesano's ex-wife Arlene looks like Dracula and Patti Conners, the playboy bunny and tennis player Jimmy Conners' wife, well she looks bloated with Botox...say where's Rob Lowe's wife??

so who can I blame for turning Montecito into Wussyville? I blame anyone who bought Beanie Babies and made Ty Warner a billionaire; I blame any cokehead who spent time in Nippers; I blame the businesses who advertise in the Montecito Journal...

but most of all Ryan Seacrest, I blame you

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Kill Bill:

Vol 1

with FOX NEWS calling everything that comes out of the White House a scandal, and O'Reilly dissing France for not following us into the Iraq disaster, I can say unequivocally that FOX NEWS in and of itself is a scandal..and one more of Ruppie's "journalists" was just arrested-the latest in Rupert Murdoch's  continuing hacking and bribery disgrace

Bill and Rob..birdbrains of a feather!!
so what about Bill O' does he keep squeaking by with all his nonsense? first the sex harassment scandal, and now his "books" that come out seemingly weekly..

what about Killing Lincoln....and Killing Kennedy... and Killing Jesus.. and the Nat Geo channel producing Killing Lincoln..a docu-drama of sorts...well all these killing books were written by Bill O'Reilly from FOX NEWS...Bill's boss is Rupert Murdoch, one of the most corrupt publishers in the Wendy!!

so O'Reilly says he wrote all these books with a co-writer...I watched Killing Lincoln on the Nat Geo Channel..five minutes anyway...that's all I could was just so was narrated by Tom Hanks, who looked like hostage forced to talk to the camera...bad move for Hanks...

and now Bill's got Wendy's pal Rob Lowe, no stranger to sex scandals, playing a role in Bill's little kill fantasies!!

a critic: Too bad so many talented people whom I respect and National Geographic a cable channel I respect should make a docudrama from a book "co-written" by Bill O’Reilly. And given the existence of a certain book titled "The Day Lincoln Was Shot," written by Jim Bishop (in the late 1950s or so) and the subsequent live presentation on TV (with Jack Lemmon as John Wilkes Booth)and a tv movie version made about 10 years ago, O’Reilly’s book deserves to be investigated as a case of possible and blatant plagerism …

hmmm...plagerism....I don't doubt that for a minute...plagerized some and screwed up the rest:

O’Reilly, a former high school history teacher in the 1970s, prefaces Killing Lincoln with a special note to his readers: "The story you are about to read is true and truly shocking." No stranger to hyperbolic posturings, however, the fact that the statement isn’t entirely factual isn’t shocking. Upon reviewing O’Reilly and co-author Martin Dugard’s book, the National Parks Service, which manages Ford’s Theatre, banned it from one of its bookshops citing ten different errors, one of which was repeated multiple times within the book.

The right-wing talk show host came under scrutiny from historians and book critics — several noting the mentions of President Lincoln in the Oval Office, which wasn’t even constructed until forty-four years after his assassination.

The late Jim Bishop, a veteran newspaperman who once reported for the New York Daily News and later was a syndicated columnist, saw his book "The Day Lincoln Was Shot" become a runaway best-seller in 1955.

A series of similar-themed books followed, with Bishop penning "The Day Christ Died" in 1957 and then in 1968 "The Day Kennedy Was Shot" — a minute-by-minute account of JFK's 1963 shooting in Dallas.
Perhaps his most critically acclaimed book, "FDR'S Last Year," came out in 1984.

The parallels with O'Reilly are uncanny.

In 2011 O'Reilly penned a book about Lincoln, "Killing Lincoln: The Shocking Assassination That Changed America Forever." The book, co-authored with Martin Dugard, became a New York Times best-seller with more than 5 million copies sold.

Last October, O'Reilly and Dugard followed up with "Killing Kennedy: The End of Camelot," which debunks many of the conspiracy myths holding that Lee Harvey Oswald did not act alone in the assassination of the president.

It too became an instant best-seller, and in fact remains No. 1 on in several categories.
Now O'Reilly has announced that, like Bishop, he will write a book about Jesus Christ. Titled "Killing Jesus," it will recount the life and times of Jesus and the Christian legacy he left behind.

O'Reilly and Lowe...what a couple of  hacks these guys are!

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Highway to Hell

I'm on the highway to hell / No stop signs... I'm on the highway to hell / ( Don't stop me) / And I'm going down, all the way down / I'm on the highway to hell.

well here's two stupid stories if I ever saw two stupid stories..some actor on a soap opera won an Emmy Award...he lives in Summerland and Scott Steepleton put it on the front page of the News-Press! well, who the fuck cares?? not I certainly..

then we have the case of poor Simon Chavez who wandered onto Highway 101 in the wee hours whilst boozed and plastered out of his mind, then he got hit and killed by some gook who was driving back from the casino..the gook is in jail for felony hit and run...I think that's fair because if he had hit a dog he would have stopped, picked it up , brought it home and cooked it for dinner!

but anyway Simon's mom is suing the cab driver who gave her drunk son a ride because Simon got out of the cab and wandered off to meet his fate....

whew..I don't understand these people..first of all the mom is using Barry Cappello's law firm, Cappello & Noël LLP and Barry hasn't won a case in ages...this case will be nothing new...the mom will lose...Barry is chasing a big payout again...

the reason the mom's son is dead is because of  his alcohol abuse so I'd sue the bar who kept plying him with spirits....oh I know alcohol is legal but it's still a dangerous drug... I mean if Simon was sipping 7-UP or Perrier do you think he'd have ended up dead on the highway, hit by a gook from the casino??

or the mom could sue the cops for not realizing there was a drunk guy riding as a passenger in a cab...

geez, the possibilities are endless!

Monday, June 17, 2013

helplessly hoping

her harlequin hovers nearby...

well no harlequins but plenty of cops and dudes were hovering near Kelly Hoover, the spokeswoman for the Sheriff's was Coffee with a Cop today and I didn't realize it so had to go back home to get my camera because my cell phone sucks at taking pictures..then I got some shots butt the visit with the cops was almost over...

I watched them for awhile in front of Starbuck's in Carp and everyone seemed in good spirits on a cool cloudy day...Sheriff Brown was there looking official..some police cruisers, some citizens talking with the deputies...Kelly Hoover hobnobbing with folks all smiley and pretty...good pick, Sheriff Brown!! you got my vote...

[update] whoa wait a minute Kelly..can you explain this: Nov 4, 2012 ... By KELLY HOOVER, NEWS-PRESS CORRESPONDENT. November 4, 2012 12: 34 AM...she used to work for the News-Press???? this could change everything..sniff sniffle...stay tuned..

I took some pictures of Kelly and tried to get a frontal shot but she kept turning away like she was shy or something..then I zeroed in to talk to her but she ran into Starbucks, seemingly to avoid me!! what am I the creature from the Black Lagoon?? geez...

Sheriff Brown is sneaking a peek at Kelly!
anyway I wanted to thank the cops and deputies all over Santa Barbara for all the work they do esp dealing with drunk drivers....keep it up..the checkpoints, the stops, everything until people with alcohol issues wake up...

Coffee with a Cop is a fantastic program and those who are scared of the police would benefit the most if they stopped by to chat..that is if they can catch the one they wanna talk with!!

love isn't lying it's loose in a lady who lingers, saying she is lost..and choking on "hello"...


where all the lights are bright, downtown
feral youth and homeless bums plaguing streets of Santa Barbara

"The Year of the Locusts"

A band of modern-day Gypsies descends on Santa Barbara, its aging matriarch (Wendy) unaware that the younger generation has moved on from the traditional flim-flam to million-dollar heists and.....

Detective Lt. Mike Stone: Somebody call for a cop?
Inspector Steve Keller: Well, I called for one about an hour ago, but you know they're never around when you need 'em.
Detective Lt. Mike Stone: Well, here I am

so once upon a time there were some homeless people hanging out at the Cabrillo Ballfield so the city closed the bathrooms...then citizens and nearby businesses complained about the homeless then citizens and nearby businesses complained again about the homeless gathering at the ballfield again and again and again.....

nearby Casa Esperanza is a homeless shelter by the beach.... the Milpas Community, led by a fat chick, formed to complain about the Casa and the icky homeless people hanging around Milpas...then they finally got the city to erect a fence around the Cabrillo ballfield and that kept the homeless people out...then the Milpas Community people won an award from someone in Minnesota for cleaning up their neighborhood....ahem...

ok so the homeless had to go somewhere else so they migrated downtown to City Hall and the Central Library and State Street....Scott Steepleton had a News-Press story about the homeless who are scaring folks in the De La Guerra Plaza triangle, esp Team Wendy folks...Scott says the homeless cacophony would keep any sane person away from De La Guerra Plaza...the transients cuss, brawl, and aggressively panhandle...maybe he's talking about the bar crowd at 2:00 am after last call...

epilogue: the transients are definitely here for good... and they are starting to bother the News-Press...starting to bother Scott Steepleton...I like that....the News-Press potheads will now have to snuggle up to the cops/unions to help keep the transients at bay...the same cops that Randy Rowse and Frank Hotchkiss support...all working together to outsmart the homeless...Dale Francisco said it best: got a problem, call a cop!!

meanwhile, the cops were busy arresting some non-transients for DUI, marijuana and other drugs, felony theft, assault and battery, trespassing, being drunk and disorderly to name a few....the Superior Court Calendars have thousands of local cases, civil and criminal, on the docket....thousands of cases involving all types of owners, landlords, students, investigative journalists, newspaper publishers, restaurant owners, bars, hotels....all headed to court for one reason or another...

everyday is irony in the asphalt jungle

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Sunset Grill

let's go down to the Sunset Grill

a continuing look at the alcohol culture in Santa Barbara....and who's pushing it

Pali Tasting Room-New Funk

WTF now we got a bunch of Nipper and Wendy clones running around Santa Barbara?? "professional" wine tasters and water tasters...geez, one guy over at EDHAT went wine tasting and everything was hip and cool cool cool! at Pali Wine the dude said of a sample: "It had some nice caramel notes, but I think that these grapes may need more sun and heat, and I found the wine somewhat thin."

the grapes may need more sun and heat and the wine was thin?????

this dude sounds like a fluffball! actually he sounds like the guy who works at the Sentinel Weekly...which leads me into today's story....

ok I 've been reading the funny little freebie the Sentinel for awhile and I've said before they are alcohol-centric...pushing booze like a drug dealer pushes drugs at high, the paper is owned by Jim Buckley of the Montecito Journal and his son Timmy is listed as the publisher and Mattie Mazza is the editor...Mattie's a bit of a brat so I'm thinking mommy and daddy sent him thru law school....another trust funder wasting my time...and he's pals with Darryl Genis and the old groupie of Montecito, Richeard Mineards...

Mattie and Eringer...barflies

from Mattie's law website: Whether it's the development and execution of an effective litigation strategy or prophylactic counsel to avoid litigation....

prophylactic council?? you mean they wear rubbers in court??

but anyway Mattie did a glowing story on Bo Henry's Bar, the one Mr. Wimpy sold remember Eringer..Prince Albert's bitch and frequently shows up in Mineard's column in the Montecito Journal...

Mattie says he likes sitting in bars drinking beer in the afternoon..that's how most trustfunders spend their time..drinking in bars! Mattie makes lots of cutesy remarks about alcohol abuse....

ok so the Sentinel pushes booze and restaurants and I did some searching and it appears Matt was in the restaruant biz up in Calistoga..he was or is pals with a couple of restauranteers, Mark Young and Ron Goldin ...who own Brannan's Grill up there...seem the grill had some problems with roaches running around kitchen (the bugs) and health inspectors had to close it down for awhile...while the inspectors were inspecting, the owners Goldin and Young were denying and making excuses...all the restaurants up here have roaches says one guy...hahaha

I learned this in my restaurant days: clean as you go!

apparently Mattie was brought in to manage Brannan's and it failed YET ANOTHER INSPECTION!! the owners and Matt blamed it on a change in management..they claim Matt was brought in to clean up the restaurant and the transition caused the inspection failure...

after all the problems, they finally passed an inspection...because they had to...I'm sure if there were no inspectors to check these businesses out, roaches would be part of your cheezeburger...

so I guess if you don't practice law or can't run a restaurant, you can always edit a freebie newspaper like the Sentinel, which started publishing in October 2012

I'll be watching this slippery alco-dude who's a tool for Jim Buckley and other cocktail- soaked conservative freaks ..I'll be watching for Young and Goldin to see if they open any roacherants in SB...

and I'll be watching out for roaches at Bo Henry's, too...

Friday, June 14, 2013

pretty woman

walkin' down the street, pretty woman, the kind I like to meet

[update] I really wanted to strangle Martin right then and there for causing such motorway mayhem and the hurt to the motorcyclists....I wanted to break his scrawny little neck, but I think he's mental...I mean wayyyyy mental...I can't beat up mental dudes...

[update] as Maguire was standing before the judge, I saw him stumble a bit and his lawyer Christine had to hold him.. the judge asked him a question and Martin mumbled something into the microphone

[update] either Martin is mental or he's done so many drugs his brain had been fried down to the size of a peanut

[update] I think I saw Lara Cooper from Noozhawk at the hearing...she's cute, well-groomed and clean and a little yuppie! years ago, I would have dirtied her up a bit....hehehe]

[update] there's so many pretty woman at the court house! probably they wanted to be ballerinas when they were little girls...

pretty latina with big boobs!!
have you seen Scruffy? call 805-813-0766
[update] as I was leaving the hearing, I noticed from a distance something on my windshield..GODAMMIT, another ticket I thought, cursing the metermaid..but no, it was a notice of a lost dog! poor mutt

[update] the bailiffs have a thankless job keeping order in the court, so here's a 'thank-you' to them

[update] the courthouse is so nice and the grounds are so pretty, like a woman!!

ohh, ohhh, pretty woman!!!

Thursday, June 13, 2013


Tonight there's gonna be a jailbreak
Somewhere in this town

so I went into Santa Barbara to check out the Martin Maguire was overcasty but humid...the trees are purple and there's some nice white flowers at the courthouse...

the hearing is in the Figueroa Dept across the street, so I go in...weapons check..ok, I'm in..

Martin's cell phone fascination

I go's about 8:15 am..the courtroom is I wait outside and sit down on the bench by the courtroom...a few folks are milling around..then I see Martin Maguire in blue-purple shirt and khakis....he looks thin and lethargic, like a horse that hasn't been fed in awhile..

so he shuffles by me a few times like a lost little kid....he's looking down..he reeks of stale cigarette smoke..UGH!! I hate that smell..he must be chain smoker too....the dude looks like a zombie....I said hey Martin and he said nothing...he was constantly looking at his cell phone

Martin and Mystery Woman
then some pretty blonde chick with red toenails sits across from me...she looks at me with a stern face, like a marble statue...I call her the "mystery woman"...then Marty walks up to her and I figure out they are together..geez that the standard? a chain-smoking zombied out stoner??

anyway I figure maybe she's Martin's lawyer but no..his lawyer came in later and she was that Christine lady...skinny with a long nose and long brown hair...kinda witchy-looking but not bad...

I'm in the courtroom now so there's a few people in the seats and Clifford Anderson is the judge...I wish the lawyers and judges would SPEAK UP so I could hear them but everyone is talking low like almost a whisper...even with microphnes on! it's silly

so I sat through an hour of a case about some guy accused of breaking into a storage locker in Goleta..he was accused of stealing stuff...I don't know the outcome because I could barely hear the judge!!!

then a dude and a pretty young gal came in, dressed in blue prison garb..they sat in the jury seats...the chick looked like young Michele Bachman and was flirting with me with her eyes.. her peepers were hypnotic... I fell under her spell and tonight there's gonna be a jailbreak tonight because I gotta have her...

Hiding low looking right to left
If you see us coming I think it's best
To move away do you hear what I say
From under my breath

then Marty's case came up and they set a date for a preliminary hearing...I think anyway because it was all hush hush tones again....

if you can't say it, then sing it for chrissakes!!