Thursday, January 31, 2013

I had too much to dream last night

I'm not ready to face the light....  

well I guess the DA had too much to dream last night so he called in sick...I however had to show up at 10:00 am in Santa Barbara's Jury Room and wait till Miss Fussybritches told us that we had to come
back on Monday at 9:30 AM because the DA was too ill to make it...

oh ok...I got nothing but time to kill..I got all the time in the world..time means nothing to me now..

so while I was waiting I saw some law babes..that's the only reason to be here really is the girls....

I've been spending far too much time in Santa Barbara lately....

she has funny cars

wanna keena delaega?
jaunaqina dela vega?? I wanna keen a dela vega????
well do you wanna is Juanita?? juan a kino dela vega??
wait a you want to key a Vega??? oh...well no I don't, thank you

and I don't want to key a Clenet either..oh I see Alain Clenet has bought a condo next to Nipper... he paid $500000 while Nippy paid $1.1 million so Alain must've got a fixer at Plaza Desonordoras by the Biltmore...of course Alain is the French dude who builds francey French hearses..I would never drive one...but I do love the French....they gave us socialism, pretty French girls, the dear copper lady, French fries, French kissing and the French Festival...even though the taxes on the rich are high, I approve of taking money from people who get paid more than they Gerard Depardieu
(French pronunciation: [ʒeˡʁaːʁ dəpaʁˡdjøː] couldn't hack the taxes in France and moved to Russia!

and oh my oh my how will California survive if pro golfer Phil Mickleson leaves the state! Phil is complaining about California's taxes and threatened to move...Phil makes millions chasing a little ball on the grass...another case of over-compensation! Phil Mickleson probably owns a poodle!

golf is a sport for ladies and I like to watch the gals wear them tight little dresses..and they are damn good too...

but I think it's time for me to deal with these one percenters... once and for all

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

same old story

same old song and dance

technology? Joe can't even master how to drive a car!!!

ok when  I read about Santa Barbara Technology and Industry Association in the News-Press I figured that's the only place I would read about for a few reasons..first of all it's nonprofit, second of all Joe Armendariz is the "executive director"...third of all, the folks who are on the board are also on the boards of the SBCTA and California Center for Public Policy...

hey I wonder if Joe and #69 from the nonprofit Animal Rescue place have rekindled their romance or was it just puppy love..I was gonna try to interview Julia but her Facebook page scared me conservative gals take no prisoners!!

anyway, SBTIA held a dinner at the University Club in SB and gave out some awards...there was a no host bar also..uh get a bunch of conservatives around no host bar and you know damn well what's gonna happen...but there may be hope in sight..there's a lawmaker in Ireland who came up witha great idea...special permits for drunk drivers!!!

clearly never saw this one coming and neither would other guys playing with a full deck. However, it looks like some people are so in love with alcohol that they're willing to risk large-scale ridicule in their attempts to spread the world about the good things that come with drunk driving. Yes, fellow riders, some wackos in Ireland proposed a law to make driving tipsy legal!

The fantastic law-making idea belongs to Danny Healy-Rae, a councilman in Kerry, southwest Ireland. As Danny declares, it's not necessarily about the booze itself, as these (now dead letter) drunk driving permits would improve the mental health of farmers.

Counselor Danny Healy-Rae suggests that the measure would help with lowering depression and mental illness rates, eventually leading to fewer suicides.

"They're traveling in very minor roads, often on tractors, with very little traffic and it's not right they're being treated the same as the rest of the traveling public and they have never killed anyone.

"The only outlet they have then is to take home a bottle of whiskey and they're falling into depression, and suicide for some of them is the sad way out," Healy-Rae, owner of the Kilgarvan pub in Kerry County, stresses.

ok back to the Santa Barbara Technology and Industry Association which I've never heard of until yesterday...they have about 80 members and have been around since the 1920s??

and they want to promote the free market that they tried to kill with fraud from the likes of Enron and AIG!! hahaha

next they say an emerging market is technology that "tracks personal habits, trends and insights"

now I had to think about that for a minute considering that I'm typing on a computer with gigabytes of stored information on my personal habits, trends and insights...some of course is carefully hidden so's not to embarass anyone and I do mean bare ass..

but seriously....this is just more of these folks hiding behind nonprofits, patting themselves on the back, trying to look important...

but if you track Joe's personal habits and trends well you might ask why they chose him for Executive Director of two overlapping nonprofits...

I don't know..but the world of nonprofits is a strange one indeed...

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

fakin' it

tangled in the fallen vines, pickin' up the punch lines, I've just been fakin' it...

so I go into downtown Santa Barbara, check out the Film Fest because as you know I got a freekin Jury Duty summons! but this time I spend four hours in Santa Barbara...I see some pretty people then I go into the jury meeting room and wait.... I sit in the back ....way back by the exit in case some mental white guy tries to kill us all in two minutes....bambambam!!!

I wait as 119 other potential jurors file in...119! oh this should be fun..I'm not at all happy about this but
I'm kinda faking it because I'm seeing some pretty women stroll on....let's see if my phony brooding act will attract any attention..ohhh that strawberry blonde babe over there....yea that's the one I want

we're supposed to start at 12:30 pm and at 12:40 pm the clerks roll perky blond chick in the front of the room and two Mexican gals on the sides..the blonde gal was hot but too chirpy and annoying....she tells us to pee if we need to and then she shows a video about the orgasmic joys of jury duty...well I case the joint and spot some pretty fine babes so maybe

then we all had to go up to the front of the room and get our JUROR tags which took about a half hour...we're all standing in line like a bunch of's like a movie cattle call for the Film Fest!!
then the clerk babbles on about this and that and says we're finally gonna go upstairs to the court room and the Judge will talk to us...we need to pass through a metal detector..all this takes another 30 minutes...then we go into the court room and it's full so I have to stand and then...oh no holy's Judge Brian Hill!! I gotta deal with Judge Brian Hill for this trial..I was so pissed I almost jumped over 119 people, the clerk, the lawyers,  the alleged criminals and the bailiffs to scream at Hill "why did you let Peter Lance go free dumbass??"

then Judge Hill explained to us in excruciating lengthy detail and often repeating himself what the trial process would be like...he tells us that this process is called voir dire whereby the court gets to examine potential jurors..he tells us this twice...voir dire is French for to see and to tell or something like that

then he introduced the lawyers and the guys on trial to us.. he says the trial will last about six weeks... knowing Hill it will probably last a year

the two Mexican dudes are accused of murder while being part of a gang..oh, how nice ..two gang-bangers accused of murder..GUILTY!!! why waste time on a trial I say..oh yeah, my tax dollars spent to fill the new jail with more ignorant Mexicans..geez

then Hill says he and the lawyers have some rules: Rule #1-don't read the News-Press..he says we can't read the front page because the News-Press doesn't always have the facts right...everyone laughs..then he tells us not to read the Independent or watch KEYT..this is all so we can be fair to the defendants...this is bullshit...does Judge Hill think the jurors are too stupid to distinguish when the News-Press is lying??? the News-Press is lying ALL THE TIME so why can't I read it...then he says don't go on the internet..Rule #2- don't talk to anyone about the trial....what am I supposed to do....go live in a teepee??

then he says those with medical hardships should stay to explain their issues and the rest of us should go and we'll complete the orientation and questioning on Thursday when Judge Hill wants to see if anyone has any biases that might interfere with a fair trial...

well..yeah Judge Hill, I got some and I'll explain it all to you on Thursday...

Monday, January 28, 2013

the Treasure of Sierra Madre

I yam what I yam

well while Santa Barbara is worshipping second rate actors at the Film Festival I have a job to do today....I have to go to into Santa Barbara and see if I get to be a juror....I got a number and I got a badge number...'scuse me Judge? what's my badge number? badge number? badges? I don't have to show you no stinkin' badges!!!
then this morning as I was fumbling for some fake sugar for my coffee, I noticed that Popeye and Olive Oil were in the cupboard together!!

now these are the real American icons..real actors...Popeye and Olive Oil!

these other guys like skinny Daniel Day Lewis and pretty boy Ben Affleck appear to need a few cans of spinach...

Sunday, January 27, 2013

the Three Bells

Then the little congregation Prayed for guidance from above "Lead us not into temptation Bless this hour of meditation Guide him with eternal love"

ok there was a story in the News-Press about some lady who ran a modeling agency in town and she and her lawyer husband got an award from that Father Virgil guy....or the award was named after Virge...but it seemed like a crock to me so I didn't pay it too much mind..but I do keep seeing these things come up about pedophile priests and their pals in the clergy who helped them abuse children..

O Lord, I am not worthy that Thou shouldst come to me; but speak the word of comfort, my spirit healed shall be. And humbly I'll receive Thee, the Bridegroom of my soul, no more by sin to grieve Thee, or fly Thy sweet control. Amen!

translation: don't tell anyone or I'll get into trouble

if you put me in a boat with the Devil and a Catholic priest, I'd prefer to be with the Devil...I'm not saying Father Virg was a perv or anything, but I see another story that a fey dude named Bishop Thomas Curry was helping to shield pedo-priests instead of turning them in or killing them, which is what I would do if I could....

what's up with the naked kids, Virg?
so did Curry and Father Virg run in the same circles...Well there's a few clues first of all Father Virgil put out a religious CD and one of the glowing reviews was by Bishop Curry....hmmmm..and what's with the naked kids on the cover??

then I see that in 2001 Charles Schwab the investor guy gave a million dollars to UCSB for it Catholic Studies program:

Schwab Gives $1 Million for Catholic Studies at UCSB...back when Fathe Virgil was alive

September 21, 2001

(Santa Barbara, CA) – Charles R. Schwab, founder and chairman of Charles Schwab & Co., Inc., has pledged $1 million to support Catholic Studies at the University of California, Santa Barbara.

His leadership gift and those of other donors have established the Virgil Cordano Endowment in Catholic Studies in UCSB's Department of Religious Studies. The endowment honors Father Cordano, a Franciscan Friar and pastor of the St. Barbara Parish at the Santa Barbara Mission who has devoted his life to promoting greater understanding of all religions and increased dialogue among them.

Bishop Thomas J. Curry of the Santa Barbara Pastoral Region called the Schwab gift "an extraordinary act of generosity. This donation will help establish an important legacy and will also inspire others to support what will become a major center for the study of the Catholic tradition."

Father Cordano said he was touched that the endowment has been named in his honor and expressed great enthusiasm for the new Catholic Studies program. "The program's aim will be to foster exploration of the historical, cultural, and sociological backgrounds of Catholicism in order to promote mutual understanding among people of different beliefs and cultures," he said.

and there's that Bishop Tom Curry again, chiming they must have been pals....Father Virgil must've known something, doncha think??

these old religious guys are pretty creepy

Saturday, January 26, 2013

blue on blue

heartache on heartache

some of you can't tell the difference between a dog, a pig, and a bird..

so here's some pictures for ya!

wild piggie

blue heron

grey terrier mix-alive

can I get a witness?

oh boy I got a summons for jury duty....I need to call them tomorrow night to see if I have to show up on Monday morning...

well let's see my schedule is clear for awhile so I may be actually looking forward to this..the only problem is the time wasted by the judges and lawyers trying to determine if I'm fit to serve...I remember my last jury duty was not a nice experience...I went to the jury sitting room and waited and waited and was ushered into another room where I got questioned and then they said I could go but I thought they meant I could go home but nooooo they meant I could go sit down until the next round of questions...oh..well they called me next day and the lady gave me hell for leaving and I told her to suck my dick it's not my problem if she can't communicate effectively... she hung up on me!!

honestly, the jury system better be in better shape this time or the judges and lawyers and clerks are gonna get an earful from me you better believe it!!!

I will cut thru their bullshit quick this more want me on your jury then you gotta know some things....

drunk drivers: how do I feel about drunk drivers, Judge? well I feel that if a cop pulls someone over for DUI, they are probably guilty...and after the Peter Lance fiasco, I will say guilty until proven innocent so factor that into your decision if I can render a fair verdict

child abusers: kill 'em!

pot smokers: guilty dude!!

labor law breakers: now why the fuck is Wendy getting off scott free Judge when she broke the law??? Judge, can you answer me that?? and WTF is up with Judge Brian Hill??

ok well that's just a few issues I'll bring up at my vetting and I hope it'll be entertaining for my fellow jurors...who are all probably gonna be potheads and drunks anyway!!

Friday, January 25, 2013

I'm Special

gotta have some of your attention, give it to me!

well I guess we all need a little attention don't we? and I've been watching Orly Taitz for some time now and of course she's wants attention from President Obama...Marilyn had the Kennedys and Orly's got remember that another crazy but unfortunately homely blonde

News-Press co-publisher/owner Wendy McCaw endorsed Orly's senate run in California...I'm a firm believer everything our Wendy does is to feed her pathological need for attention!

but now Orly says she can arrest Pres Obama if he comes to Connecticut....poor Connecticut, the site of a mass murder of children and now they got Orly...

yup, Birther queen Orly Taitz is now claiming she has the ability to have President Barack Obama arrested in Connecticut.
Taitz posted on her website Wednesday night that she has three supporters in Connecticut who are willing to sign a petition claiming that Obama has violated election law in the state. Under Sec. 9-368 of the state's election code, if "three electors" in a town sign complaints to a judge claiming violations of election law then an arrest warrant can be issued. Taitz had earlier posted a request for Connecticut residents to sign complaints and asked her supporters to move to one town in the state.

Taitz wrote in her trademark all-caps style:


ok this is all well and good Orly but I've seen you go thru some changes hairstyle-wise..Michele O's hair wowed folks at the inauguration and now it looks like Orly has taken notice...she's gone from Dr. Laura's froopiness to Michele's bangyblackgirlswirl...

and the reason is cos Orly is stalking the president! that's what I think, she is totally obsessed with Barack...I've seen it so many times before and I truly believe Orly is PSYCHO..

man alive I would like to sit down and talk with her...Orally Tits..hey I just named the new Bond Girl!!!

Thursday, January 24, 2013

funeral for a friend

love lies bleeding in my hands

when I was a kid I had a pet turtle...I forgot his name but he was a cool turtle..lived in a little paradise I made for him with water and dirt and I'd come home everyday and feed his little glass house...he was a green turtle....
occasionally I'd get some polywogs and feed those to my turtle....

well one day I came home and found my turtle dead...I was sad very sad so I gathered all my little friends and we planned a burial and memorial service....we got a little box and put grass in it so my dead turtle could RIP comfortably...then we all met on a Saturday morning and went out to my back yard and buried the turtle....

now while I was planning the interment of the turtle, my father was curious as to WTF I was doing....I told him my turtle died and I'm gonna bury him..he looked at me like I was not his son and said something like maybe I was over-reacting and all I needed to do was throw the turtle somewhere and not go through a big procession...I told my father that I intended to bury the turtle with my even at that age, I knew I was doing all this to get some attention..after all, I got all my friends together, got my father a little concerned and felt....well a sense of power at how easily  I could manipulate people and use my turtle's death for my own entertainment! it was a little psychological experiment before I even knew what psychology was...but of course my father was right..I was way over doing it....

now we have story about the hunters who killed Billy the Dog on a back country trail...they didn't mean to but they did....I saw pictures of the dog and he looked pretty freaky and mangy..altho I wouldn't have shot it under normal circumstances, I think if I was up there on the trail on mescaline I would have...

but now we have some issues where the owner is going to hold a memorial for his dog and take him to the back country and bury his ashes-from the Independent :

Over the Weekend Ian and a close friend hiked up to Montecito Peak to bury Billy’s ashes. "It was a hike that Billy and I had done many times …. that’s where he was the happiest. They found a secluded spot not too far from the top of the peak, dug a two-foot-deep hole and buried Billy in a small wooden box..On Groundhog Day, Ian and his family will make the trek back up once again with family and friends to celebrate Billy’s life. They invite you to come along and share in the memories of those of you who have hiked the trails with your dogs.

when I read about Billy the Dog in the Independent, I thought back to my turtle and how as a young kid, I over-reacted to this death....and how I got some much needed attention..

and I learned a lesson...thank Dog my father was there to impart some perspective into my little mind....but I'll never forget that little turtle..and all the attention I got

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

which way you goin' Billy?

or need I ask..

here boy!!! where you at, Billy???

yoohoo Billy!!!

blueberry hill

I found my thrill.....
let's say that Maria Sharapova and I wanted to go to Ojai and pick blackberries..well we couldn't because there's a certain type there called Himalayan blackberries and they are hated more than eucalyptus naturally I love 'em like I love Maria...they produce edible fruit but according to the native-only cult, the pants I mean plants are noxious weeds that "crowd out the native plants" ....oh yeah, I've heard that one before...invasive species hysteria..

and now we got a bunch of wackos in Ojai trying to get rid of the blackberries...these are nonprofits who use unsuspecting kids to remove the plants and they get environment
al awards from the Governor's office.

I read this in the Ojai Valley Visitor's Guide..there's a cult called CREW...Concerned Resource and Environmental Workers who go around trying to kill all the non-native plants..and the city of Ojai supports them! and the first paragraph tells a story of how stupid they are: a crewmember uses a chain saw on sumac on a 90 plus degree day in Matilija Canyon....what's that spell: FIRE!!!!

now why would anyone want to kill blackberry plants? I don't know..maybe they are insane?? teaching kids to hate certain plants for silly reasons is totally unacceptable..and they are messing up the environment that I love....where plants can grow without harassment from idiots like CREW..

the good thing is these blackberries are very resouceful and grow back like thistle I'll get a kick out of watching these nitiwits try to outsmart a plant

Himalaya Blackberry is one of Seattle's best known plants. To most of us it is the common blackberry. No wild fruit is as familiar west of the Cascades, and people who don't even consider harvesting other wild edibles often partake joyfully of this. The plant is characterized not only by its luscious black berries in August, but by astonishing vigor, and thumbtack-like thorns. It can be a Major Weed. Here is its story. Before Europeans made themselves at home west of the Cascades, the native Americans ate berries from native brambles: Salmonberries (Rubus spectabilis), Thimbleberries (R. parviflorus), Trailing Blackberries (R. ursinus) and Blackcap Raspberries (R. leucodermis) were all harvested. If you want to learn more about these native fruits, consult ethnobotanical writings by Nancy J. Turner et al. Luther Burbank, greatest ever of plant-breeders, introduced the Himalaya Blackberry in 1885. During his long career he originated such new creations as Shasta Daisies, Elephant Garlic, Burbank Potato, Thundercloud Plum, Spineless Cactus, Pineapple Quince, Santa Rosa Plum and hundreds more. Reading about this one person's achievements amazes and inspires us. Obtaining the Himalaya berry was one of his comparatively easy endeavors. Burbank simply exchanged seeds with a source in India. He named the best of his seedlings so raised 'Himalaya Giant' to commemorate its origin. We don't know how many seedlings he had. But the one he named and released has made itself thoroughly wild on the West Coast in northern California well into British Columbia. Birds spread the berries. The root-systems are tough and extensive. Native vegetation is choked-out by the invasive bramble.

but the birds and bears will scatter the seeds (dispersal) while the fools in Ojai keep trying to kill the blackberries...the only thing invasive in creeks is the litter caused by people...

how anyone could kill a thing as beautiful as a blackberry plant is beyond me..these are wild edibles used by countless animals and the notion that they "choke" native plants is nonsense....CHOKE ON THIS BABY!!!

so what I'll do is head on up to the creeks and scatter some seeds!!!

Monday, January 21, 2013


take these broken wings and learn to fly

today is Martin Luther King Jr Day...MLK was of course the great civil rights leader so I thought I'd highlight the Beatles White Album....there's some irony there but I've been listening to this album since 1969....some of the stuff is filler but three songs were genius: Blackbird, Dear Prudence and While My Guitar Gently Weeps....I never knew exactly what Blackbird was about until yesterday when Paul said on the radio that it was about the civil rights movement...these guys could pack alot into 3 minute songs...


Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free.
Blackbird fly Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.
Blackbird fly Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.

then of course MLK got in what else is new

Sunday, January 20, 2013

girl you'll be a woman soon

soon you'll need a man...
well maybe women are taking over? ok that's fine with me..for as I stand before you today, I can honestly say I'm ashamed to be a white male...

ever since George Bush, American men have been a real disappointment..there's Arnold, and Lance Armstrong..and skinny tux faux man who lies about his age -Mr. Vanity- Peter Lance.. and slackers
style Nipper and Shaun Tomson..and Joe Armendariz and his boozy bromances with Lanny Ebenstein and Mike Stoker...and Wendy, the little man in a boat!! haha

and John McCain- a strong woman turned McCain into a little whiny robot with short arms...not a man really....and those dumbass football players aren't real men...and that English gossip fellow at the Montecito Journal, Richard Mineards...and Mitt Romney..Mitt? what man is named Mitt? or Justin Bieber...a pretty boy or Gen David need to apologize for banging that babe General!! geez..and Ted Nugent what a wimp!! and the leader of the NRA..what a frikken jerk-off!!

and Bill MacFadyen over at Noozhawk..he's no man, he's a mouse like Mr. Wimpy and Tony DeNunzio!!

and here's some more real disappointments to me: Republican women who I think are really men dressed up like women...they didn't used to be this way but have you ever seen an attractive Republican woman lately?? I haven't...

I'm looking into all this but it is easier for me to get information about Islamic terrorists than it is to get info about the Santa Barbara Republicans Women's Club, Federated..the source I believe of all these mannish women, or womenly men whichever you prefer...

this is the most secretive, clandestine group of bitches in the world..they don't list their names but I can guess by some of the links that Montecito teabagger Mary Belle Snow and her songwriter hubby Tom Snow are involved.. Tom Snow, a second rate songwriter and teabagger himself...this dude couldn't carry Bob Dylan's harmonica..write a song like "Stranger on the Shore", then you can call yourself a composer

anyway I see this the press release in the sissy online publication Noozhawk: The Santa Barbara Republican Women’s Club, Federated will show the movie Jihad in America: The Grand Deception at its dinner meeting at 5:30 p.m. Wednesday, Jan. 30 at Marmalade Café at La Cumbre Mall, 3825 State St.

The cost of the dinner is $35 pre-paid or $40 at the door.

The 70-minute film is directed by Steve Emerson, author of American Jihad, and investigates the covert structure and growing influence of the Muslim Brotherhood and Islamist groups in the United States — specifically how they infiltrate politics, entertainment, news media, law enforcement, publishing and museums.

Rita Rink represents the Santa Barbara Republican Women’s Club, Federated.

as for Emerson: He is simply the progenitor of some of the vilest, most imbecilic anti-Muslim hysteria on the inter-net and in America today. This is the case because more often than not he is so off the mark in his accusations and conclusions that it makes you wonder why anyone would take him seriously as a so-called "Investigative Journalist."

Rita Rink?? does that sound like woman's name??? Rita Rink is code for Rat Fink...Rat Fink is no man either if you compare him to Mighty Mouse or Mickey Mouse...

I'm tellin ya I can't take too much more disappoinment....

Saturday, January 19, 2013

time is tight

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

someone suggested I spend too much time or alot of time in Santa Barbara and perhaps not enough time in Carpinteria where I live....perhaps this person is uncomfortable with me a Carpinterian spending time and blogging about Santa Barbara....perhaps this person would rather I just stay within the confines of the greenhouses, ranches and mansions and stay away from Santa Barbara altogether....

well it's a free country and I go where I want when I want, you got that? and besides I really don't spend that much time in Santa Barbara...let's take a look at how much time I really do spend per week in Santa Barbara, ok? just for fun...

so there's 7 days in a week and 24 hrs/day so that makes 168 hrs in a week....I sleep about 8 hours per night so that leaves me with 56 hours per week when I'm unconscious....ok so that leaves me with 112 conscious hours ie hours when I'm awake and can do something besides snore and drool...

so let's say I need something from Trader Joes..well they ain't got one in Carp so I go to Santa Barbara..average time spent in SB is about an hour....then I gotta go to Tri County Produce once per week..that's another there's 2 hours per week so far...then I like to go to the Harbor or somewhere for fun that's another hour so that makes 3 hours per week, on the average...the rest of the time I spend in Carpinteria where I live..

ok so let's see..out of 168 hours per week, I spend about 3 hours in Santa Barbara...time after time... so you see in reality I actually spend very little time in Santa Barbara...
and you're lucky to have me...

Friday, January 18, 2013

white punks on dope

Hang myself when I get enough rope / I can't clean up, though I know I should / White punks on dope / White punks on dope

well I told about the Shepard Mesa in Carp but what about that other Mesa in Santa Barbara..I always hear it .. this or that is happening up on the Mesa ..always up on the Mesa

but I got to thinking about it after picking up "the Mesa Paper"..something is weird up here..weirder than Lance Armstrong's blood transfusions...

sometimes I use the Mesa to get to Hope Ranch to see Wendy but there's a stretch where no human can walk or hang's all asphalt....roads and shopping centers and houses..there's no room for pedestrians...that is pedestrians who value their lives...

and the shopping center looks like something out of Brigam Young's wet dream...the buildings are all white and there's no plants or trees's downright eerie...the Indians own the liquor stores, the Vietnamese own the laundries, the Mexicans run drugs and the black folks are all on what do the white folks up here do?? shop, surf and smoke dope all day???

so I'm reading the paper and I see some old folks some kids and little tiny photos..oh there's one of that radio chick Vikki Gardener..she's kinda cute for a red-head!

I've traveled the beach road where you can only go 25 mph...that must be so you don't hit a dog there's so freakin many dogs up here being walked by their owners I feel like I'm in Oregon

and the houses the newer ones are huge on little tiny yards or organic flow at all...I wonder who these people are that live up here and more importantly why they live up here...they seem to be nonhuman in a way..I waved at one lady and she just crouched down behind her dog!!

well there is a neighborhood across the street from Shoreline Park but I hesitate to go into it... I can only gaze at it from my looks like a bunch of tract homes been colored by kids on meth! they probably are all armed with their mommy's AK 47s too!

my advice to you is stay away from the Mesa

Thursday, January 17, 2013

can't explain

Got a feeling inside (Can't explain) / It's a certain kind (Can't explain) / I feel hot and cold (Can't explain) / Yeah, down in my soul, yeah (Can't explain)

so I'm on Milpas Street in SB and stop into a coffee shop..the one right next to the Thai restaurant...both are owned by Thai folks so I get some coffee and the Thai lady behind the counter asks me in cute broken English "anything else?" I say "yeah, how about a massage"

boy she looked at me like I just bombed her village! I thought all Thai women gave massages...she was pretty though..I'll never forget her...

so the City of Carp is suing a guy with dog issues: City of Carpinteria vs Daniel Jimenez Thomas P Anderle SB3 1) Petition; to Determine if Dog is Potentially Dangerous Civil Other

the teabaggers are going crazy over possible gun laws designed to protect people from weapons of mass destruction..the military machine guns with huge bullet clips (magazines)....the last white guy that used one of those killed 20 kids and 6 adults...that's not what the 2nd Amendment states that the people "can keep and bear arms to protect the security of a free state"not to kill people namby pamby....once Americans the crazy ones violate that trust, then limits need to be placed on gun ownership.... pure and simple

so the Carp parks guy fixed the water leak.... that's real good..real good and speaking of's cold outside and really cold underground..Laura Nyro told us: bundle up my coffin 'cause it's cold way down there, crazy cold way down there" sometimes water lines break:

"Cast iron, being very brittle, will snap like a pretzel stick" under excess pressure, said Anthony Emanuele, superintendent of field operations for Penn American. The pressure can come from saturated soil expanding in freezing weather and from the water inside the pipes, which gets denser when it's cold.

it can be quite an inconvenience when you are without water for awhile, and that's too bad

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

get back

California grass

I caught the tail end of a Carp City Council meeting and Parks Director Matt Roberts was giving a report on the IPM Integrated Pest Managament program in the city...I heard some things that caught my poisoning pests such as rodents and Bermuda grass...the problem cited by Roberts was Bermuda grass is growing, has been growing and continues to grow despite wasted efforts to get rid of it...Matt kept calling the grass an infestation...well the grasss has been growing forever so it's not an's just grass but because he and the Parks Service are on a native -only kick, he wants to get rid of it and he wants to use poison....glyphosate..Round Up....from Monsanto...the guys who poisoned the Channel Islands

absolutely silly...the Bermuda grass is harming nobody but the poison they are gonna use to kill it will hurt you and me and the animals and insects...

the area is called the Linden- Palm trail and it's the newly installed trail by the Indian themed thing by the beach....the interpretive park...I went to check it out and egads WTF is on the side looks like Hollywood Boulevard! yikes there's June Van Wingerden's name..she's a teabagger so I stepped on her fifteen motherfucking times!!

Carpinteria can absorb this kinda nonsense from its gov't but it needs to stop...I went to check out the evil Bermuda grass and saw nothing of concern..all the plants seems fine..EXCEPT THE NATIVES ONES!!! THEY ARE ALL DYING hahahah..

the other issue is a water leak from a valve can..the top was off with no safety cone and water was going down the drain moneywise...and saturating the landscape into a muddy mess

this is Matt Roberts, the Parks Director at work... very sloppy and much are they paying this guy??? $100000/year?? to waste water, time and resources killing Bermuda grass??

safety first??
it's just silly..I'll check it out tomorrow to see if anyone fixed the leak, then I'll let City Hall and the council in on the secret: Matt Roberts is not doing the job you pay him to do..and there's still discarded PVC pipes on the bluffs...unused..littering the walking areas!!

Intergated Pest Management my ass....these guys suck at restoring landscapes!

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Wolverton Mountain

They say don't go on Wolverton Mountain
If you're looking for a wife
'Cause Clifton Clowers has a pretty young daughter
He's mighty handy with a gun and a knife

Her tender lips are sweeter than honey
And Wolverton Mountain protects her there
The bears and the birds tell Clifton Clowers
If a stranger should enter there

so I'm driving around for various reasons and well one of the reasons is I'm concerned about some activity in Carp..specifically up on the beautiful and secluded Shepard Mesa, my version of Wolverton Mountain .... I check the arrest records so I can protect myself from irrational neighbors and even though the Shepard Mesa isn't zactly a neighbor, it's close enough that I must monitor them..up there..up on the hill...over that cool water tower...

so I hop in the truck and zip on over to the Shepard Mesa...assault and battery... some drunk drivers...I cruise up the hill....not concerned about the folks living in the lower reaches..the 6000's the 7000 block..that's where all the trouble is..that's where my tax money is going to babysit intemperate I hit the 7000s and I 'm greeted by a bear!!! a BIG BROWN BEAR!!

so I turn around and head down the hill and these chicks start speeding up behind me....Kardashiam lookalikes....tailgating me so I slow down and they hit the brakes and start giggling waving and acting I speed up and they keep gating me!! geez no wonder these babes are getting busted for DUI...I don't think these gals were drunk, just stupid....but cute

then I see that Mike Stoker wrote a letter to the Montecito Journal thanking everyone for helping him lose the election against Lois Capps....even with the Ribbon of Shame gone, the anti-gov pro nonprofit malcontents like Stoker and that other guy..that shifty eyed dude, can't beat the old lady!! but I see that Lois' daughter may run for office...a Capps political dynasty....have you seen Lois' daughter? hubba hubba baby!!!

anyway Mike says he's going back to the private sector...he's got his own charter tour bus line now and will take folks from the city up to the valley for wine tasting and gambling at the casino!! he recently passed his DMV test and is certified to drive a bus....which is more than I can say for Lois Capps!

Monday, January 14, 2013

2000 light years from home

Sun turnin' 'round with graceful motion
We're setting off with soft explosion
Bound for a star with fiery oceans

well RIP Captain Love..Bob Emmens...Bob was a big, wild and funny guy and loved the Stones....and we had a lot of fun in the 1960s with the bands and hijinks....he was a huge hit in the 1970s touring production of Godspell.....

then I hear that Nevill Cramer died at 90....Nevill was some sort of administrator or pseudo-counselor at Laguna Blanca while I was a student there and fearing competition for the ladies' affections, made me cut off my teenage peach-fuzz moustache!! WTF Nevill...I had the Laguna chicks waiting in line for a pop at me and you ruined it!! those little white rich girls were irresistable ehh Nevie??

then I see Laguna is hosting a series of talks with luminaries like Shaun Tomson the surfer and Nipper's friend..both bad dads....geez Laguna you want to teach kids how to be slackers and go for a career in ....surfing??? you surf for the love of it, not the money honey!!

then I'm reading the Real Estate section in the News-Press and they don't have the home sales info that they usually have....I hope that is not due to the fact that I told you about Nipper and Andrew Firestone's recent pricey home purchases..that couldn't be the case but we'll see next week...maybe Andrew complained to Wendy like Rob Lowe complained? crybabies...

boy there's lots of action and building going on at Padaro that the George Lucas estate down the road from the Kevin Costner estate, with the hedges??

I don't know if I like all these actors and producers with billions moving in and messing things up....not when the real actors are out touring doing stage plays....roaring at the grease paint...the working class actors....the talented ones

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Folsom Prison Blues

I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die

is is possible that the News-Press is getting dumber, that SB Police Chief Sanchez is getting dumber and I'm getting smarter?? well anything is possible but I don't know why the chief blamed the re-alignment (out of jail/ into society) of low level offenders for the increase in burglaries...even I could figure out he was jiving everyone....the News-Press of course fell for it and went off on Gov Brown and the correction officer pensions as the reason Moonbeam is releasing a bunch of killers and child molesters back into society...well I think chief Sanchez just punked the News-Press and faux-Christian fub Andy Caldwell whose opinion was full of fear!! well you should be afraid Andy...very afraid

and speaking of punks, Bill Macfadyen over at Noozhawk is all pissy about a sheriff in Lake County up north..apparently he and another online news-site are miffed at the sheriff, Frank Revivio who allegedly is keeping secrets from the press.. the lawsuit filed by Lake County News appears to be a bogus one for "retaliation and discrimination" from Revivo due to unfavorable press reporting about the chief...more frivoulous lawsuits from frivolous online news sites...

now we know that drugs run rampant through these conservative news outlet and when their friends or relatives get busted, they seek to retaliate against the cops who busted them..that's a fact and it's been documented here..Nipper's son... the Baron's son.. Billy Mac's son..all druggies

and a big pot bust recently in Lake County may have offended the the crackheads over at Noozhawk and Lake County News!!

Lake County law enforcement officers Thursday seized 181 pounds of processed marijuana, 660 pounds of drying marijuana, 215 mature pot plants, 10 firearms and $73,220 from a home in Nice.

"They're organized crime," Lake County Sheriff Frank Rivero said, basing his opinion on the size of the operation and the weapons found while serving a search warrant Thursday.

It's among the larger operations found at a single residence in a populated area, he said..

of course, the public has a right to know what the public officials are doing..unfortunatley as we've seen with the News-Press and Noozhawk, the press has a way of screwing thing up real bad some times...I mean really, the public has a right to know but the press has a responsibility to report PROFESSIONALLY and we've seen with the Denunzio and Lance cases, the conservative press was TOTALLY BIASED against the cops and were protecting the drinkers and wife beaters...of course they didn't find out about DeNunzio's drinking problems and wife beating issues until later and they sure aren't coddling him now, are they....Mac says the Sheriff up north in Lake County should act like the Sheriff down here..actually Noozhawk and MacFadyen should tell the whole story like the Lake County Record-Bee does!!

Rivero denied the allegations, saying, "We have not failed to respond to any Public Records Act request from them at all."

The sheriff confirmed Lake County News was taken off the email distribution list for LCSO press releases, saying the messages were a courtesy to media outlets. The public statements are "almost simultaneously" posted on the website Nixle and the LCSO site, according to Rivero.

"It's not discrimination to deny somebody a courtesy," he added.

Rivero said he made the decision because of "a history of misinformation in Ms. Larson's stories."

"I don't want to be misquoted or the sheriff's office maligned or false information put out. That does
not serve the public's interest or the sheriff's office's interest," he added.

and as far as public records's all there for the taking...unless info is part of some lawsuit or similar issue..people have rights you know..even public workers!!!

I don't know what all this drama-queen stuff from MacFadyen or these other the little news sites....probably they need publicity....but the truth is I'd trust the gov't before I'd trust Noozhawk or the News-Press to relay the facts to me....and I would definitely fuck with the irresponsible media like the News-Press and Noozhawk as much as possible when they interfere with my job or lie on the front a hot minute I would!!

Saturday, January 12, 2013

they only come out at night

creature feature

well I went to the Plaza Theater in Carp to catch the Shark Conference sponsored by the city...the night was dark and cold like that Mexican chick I met in Cancun, '87...I drove and suddenly some idiot starts tailgating me with his big when folks do that to me I slam on the brakes then speed up...lucky for him he turned so I didn't kill him which is what I would have done if he kept it up...

ok so I get to the theater and folks are walking in and I buy a the ticket booth is melon-head Matt Roberts, Parks Director.. I hand him a twenty and he gives me a funky old ripped ten back...subliminal message that he's uncomfortable with me being there!

so I go into the theater and it finally fills up..this is a great little hall...some blonde chick sits in front of me and is contantly turning around and gabbing and waving her was the highlight of the night..there's some other weird creatures I see with my special night vision spyglass...hey there's Peter Howorth..I get a gory picture and yell at him "Peter, the News-Press is great for wrapping fish"!! he just giggles

and there's lots of old folks and some yuppies but no kids?? I soon find out why...the conference or Colloquium as they call it was pretty boring....Colloquium??

Dave Durflinger, the Carp City Manager did a good job of moderating but the speakers were kinda duds...first a law guy tells us that it's illegal to harass marine mammals, especially you damn dog owners who walk on the could be fined $100000 if your dog messes with a seal!! hahaha! that's justice baby

next we get some pimply kid from the Channel Islands ummmming and ahhhhing trying to explain about the shark teeth marks on sea lions or pinnipeds as the "experts" like to call them can measure the distance from one shark tooth bite to the other!!! NEAT!! sit down kid and come back when you turn 23 fer Christ sakes...

next a guy with some slides and video showed some sharks....this was like a high school class or maybe a low budget Nat Geo special....the guy was ok in that he said sharks are good but then he says he and his cohorts are working on some weird system to keep sharks from feeding near the shore so swimmers don't have to fear the water anymore..WTF kinda sense does that make..the ocean is the sharks' environment, not ours!! and it is pure folly to try to prevent humans from feeling fear, or measuring's what keeps us sharp...the fear instinct..the wonder of seeing a shark close to shore...oh no, I'll have to stop these guys somehow

ok so I'm getting a little peeved at all this fuss when finally Peter Howorth from the Marine Mammal Center and the News-Press comes up and starts mumbling anf fumbling with the computer..they used a computer to generate the slides and this dude is boring and he starts with a slide that says he kinda likes sharks but is concerned that they are feeding on pinnipeds..I got up, let out a grunt that everyone heard and left the theater, shaking my head all the way out the door...

sharks feeding on pinnipeds is a natural occurance, but this guy Howorth wants to save all the pinnipeds, the seals and sea lions from attacks!!

well what do you expect from someone who works for Wendy....

Friday, January 11, 2013

don't fall on me

I got my Sprite, I got my Orange Crush
 well just as I got all giddy about the super eucs, a regular euc decided to fall by the train tracks in Montecito near Butterfly Lane...

and a few folks expressed their obligatory hysteria concerning eucalyptus trees..but I never hear a peep from them when native trees like Oaks fall or the pines at Cottage that fell into the parking lot and onto two I never hear a it's ok when a native tree falls but not a euc??? please, all trees fall from time to's not a big deal unless a big one falls on you....

now for the sake of argument, let's compare the number of euc related deaths- by- the- train tracks to the number of people walking- their- dogs- related deaths...see where I'm going with this??

using the dumbass native cult's logic, if eucs are a problem, dogs are a bigger problem, safety wise...

I can quickly recall three recent incidents where people died walking their dogs by the railroad tracks and eucalyptus trees can't be blamed although I figure some jackass will try...but the Montecito lady a few weeks ago, the guy at La Conchita and the guy on Santa Claus Lane..all were killed by a train walking their dogs by the tracks...the trains even when the whistle is blowing can come up on you really quick...for some reason it's harder to hear them when you are close to the tracks...I've studied this...stood close to the tracks and observed them from afar...and it's rather scary how quiet the train is when you are closer to it!

so anyway common sense will keep you alive..... but if you walk your dog by the tracks off leash and go to rescue it from an oncoming train you will probably get hit and die..the chances of you getting hit by a train when you're walking your dog are much greater than the chances of you getting hit by a falling eucalyptus tree....

the weird thing is there's no prettier place than a group of eucalyptus trees..especially by the train's absolutely enchanting....

Thursday, January 10, 2013

I'm so glad....

I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad....

who says dreams can't come true? well I did...usually, I don't deal in dreams I deal in reality...well actually I like to dream when I'm sleeping..the REM dreams that put me in a place where I like to be...asleep...

but if you follow your dreams you may end up homeless or bitter if your dreams don't come true....always wise to have a back-up plan..

girls and eucalyptus trees...what more can I ask for!!

but anyway the point of this jabber is to relay to you my glee!! just when I thought they were gonna cut down every last one of my favorite tree, the blue gum eucalyptus, I hear the US Dept of Agriculture is going to allow a private company to plant Super Eucs across the USA!! gov't and private industry working together for my benefit...AWESOME

now over at the Independent some lady named Lois XXXXX ( last name redacted) is crying about these new Super Eucs claiming that the trees are bad and using all the native-cult stereotypes and myths about the evils of eucalyptus..the big bad eucalyptus....
says Lois: "Eucalyptus plantations are notoriously destructive—causing deadly wildfires, depleting fresh water, and escaping into native forests where they displace biodiversity and wildlife" and she links you to a nonprofit that wants donations to stop the super eucs!!!

now listen to me Lois, you dumb ignorant slut is high time for humans to act rationally and plant some cool eucs.... bionativism is a killed thousands of animals on the Channel Islands and irrational humans poisoned Anacapa Island to kill some rats and "save the natives"....but I say no more coddling native species..either they survive on their own, or they don't...

Lois, I bet you have sex with your dog..... but listen up pooch...eucalyptus trees have qualities that keep ticks and fleas you and your girlfriend won't get any fleas or ticks when you're in bed together!!!

genetically engineered eucalyptus trees... this makes me so happy I could cry!!

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

the Devil went down to Georgia

he was looking for a soul to steal / He was in a bind 'cos he was way behind and he was willin' to make a deal

conservatives like to demonize unions like I demonize dogs..the only difference is I'm right...dogs are demons- the little devils..they got pointy ears and tails like the devil...they are just evil little buggers....if you're not a religious person but are curious as to whether the devil exists, just look at a dog and there's your answer..or you could watch "You've Got Mail", too....proof positive of the Devil's existance..

ok so Boeing is an airplane maker that got upset about union workers building their Boeing moved to South Carolina, a conservative bible belt, "right to work" state...a right to work state is simply a place where scabs get to work without paying dues thereby causing the union workers to carry them..

back in the day, the B17s bombers won the war for us..the manufacturers weren't afraid of union workers and they built the best planes in the world..the iron workers, the electricians..all of them!

the year 1941 opened with the world at war but the United States still at peace. All that would change on December 7, 1941 when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor, Hawaii. For the next four years the labor movement would dedicate itself to the winning of the war. Workers would work long hours without any vacations, be relocated far from their hometown, live in poor housing, and experience high prices while their salaries were frozen. Yet, with the exception of one major labor strike, union workers stayed on the job.

during the war, anti-labor newspapers spread rumors about workers striking in great numbers. Businessmen were crying for repeal of the Wagner Labor Act, the Wage and Hour Law, and even child labor legislation. One pro-labor writer wrote that management was more afraid of the union movement in America and more anxious to fight that war than to fight Germany and Japan

sound familiar? anti-labor newspapers spreading rumors-the News-Press comes to mind
fast forward to today and in Boeing's case they hired nonunion workers to build the newest Dreamliner aircraft:

Aircraft manufacturer Boeing has unveiled its first plane built at a new plant in South Carolina, where non-union workers are trying to prove they’re just as capable of producing quality jetliners as the organized labor workforce in Washington State.

The 787 Dreamliner that rolled out of the North Charleston assembly building on April 27 represented the first commercial jet built on the East Coast and the first assembled by a nonunion workforce, according to The Wall Street Journal. It was built for Air India.

For decades, Boeing relied on unionized machinists in Washington to produce its 700 series of planes. But after five strikes in 35 years by the International Association of Machinists and Aerospace Workers, company executives decided to relocate to South Carolina, a nonunionized "right-to-work" state.

The government of South Carolina lured Boeing to the state with a huge incentive package that included $170 million in low-interest loans for construction; sales tax exemptions for computers, material and fuel used in test flights; property tax breaks worth at least $300 million; and a pass on almost all state corporate income tax for 10 years. The state also agreed to spend $33 million to train workers for Boeing. To fund this package, South Carolina had to borrow $270 million, which will grow to $399 million once interest payments are included.
Building sophisticated aircraft with untested workers is considered a risk for Boeing, whose future could be jeopardized if the planes don’t match the manufacturer’s reputation for quality and reliability.

"Boeing started a new line for their 787 Dreamliner, creating 1,000 new jobs in South Carolina, giving our state a shot in the arm when we truly needed it...And what did President Obama and his National Labor Relations Board do? They sued this iconic American company. It was shameful. And not worthy of the promise of America...A few months ago, I sat on the tarmac at the Boeing facility in North Charleston and watched as a brand new, mac daddy plane rolled onto the runway sporting a "Made With Pride In South Carolina" decal and surrounded by 6,000 nonunion employees, cheering, smiling and so proud of what they had built. "

-South Carolina Governor, Nikki Haley in a speech at the RNC Aug. 28, 2012

the only problem is the new planes built by the unskilled non-union folks are..well...kinda dangerous!! the devil is in the details and the scab workers missed a few ....and now the planes are catching on fire while sitting on the tarmac: Boeing’s new state-of-the-art plane has had its fair share of teething problems since hitting the skies, adding to the woes of the serious delays in its production timeline. Back in mid-December, the company was busy investigating electrical faults in a number of the new 787s, with a United Airlines jet making an emergency landing due to a failed generator.

Boeing stock is down 2.2% today: plenty will be watching closely for early hints of the cause of the fire.

so the plane is being built by cheap labor without the needed training or experience and the result is unsafe planes and a tumbling stock price for Boeing....poor devils

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

leopard-skin pill-box hat

it balances on your head like a mattress balances on a bottle of wine

2nd in a series....
oh Peter Lance.... really...

so now you're Bob Dylan?? so now you're a musician instead of a lying "investigative journalist"?

well at least you got the "D" chord right!