Thursday, July 31, 2014

Walk Away, Renee

you won't see  me follow you back home....

ill-mannered people...geez they insult me then just walk away...whatever happened to manners? etiquette? well I 'm happy to say at least one group takes our social responsibilites ill-mannered reader pointed this out and I see it's a news release on Mission and mean Noozhawk..

appropriate attire for young ladies??

it seems the Wine Cask and Girls and Boys Club have teamed up for lessons in etiquette....teaching youngsters how to properly sit at the table with others; what to wear and what to say and most importantly what not to say; how to eat and what utensils to use...

Etiquette Dinners is what they call it: At 3:30 p.m. Wednesday, Aug. 6, children from Mrs. Bock’s Social Manners program will pay a visit to Wine Cask to demonstrate their newly acquired proper manners, which they learned during the club’s summer program.

well hey it's better than sailing and fishing and rough-housing and playin' baseball!

for example, it is impolite to eat peas with a's fun but it's not polite....and what would you use a spoon for? well let's see...eating ice cream or soup...then there's the venerable use a fork to pick up a morsel and put it in your mouth...but don't forget there's a salad fork and a dinner fork! make the right choice or face embarrassment!

then there's the napkins...on your lap or tucked in your shirt but never ever on the table, please..

talk with your mouth open and eat with your mouth closed...simple rules that will keep you in good graces with the upper social circles...

now a lady named Mrs. Brock teaches these kids the proper etiquette and the Wine Cask dinner will be a sort of showcase for them..

I applaud the Wine Cask and Boys and Girls Club for taking the time to teach the kids important life lessons...

God knows we got enough boorish behavior out there....

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Broken Wings

take these broken wings, and learn to fly...

the News-Press has shrunk in size and content has it not? and yet, Wendy still charges 75 cents a I've decided when I'm out getting coffee and a paper to take TWO copies instead of get my money's worth....I can read one and swat flies with the other..animal abuse??

but I unnerstand that the News-Press is cutting back and I think that the next logical step is denying the employees pens and papers...really, think of how much money dey could save wid dat step....I would encourage Wendy, Don and Scott to initiate this cost-saving step immediately, if not sooner...and Wendy you know as well as I do you can't have Scott AND Don on the of them has to go.....


ok, the Fiesta Rodeo is coming up it's my fave Fiesta event and people are writing letters to the News-PRess about the animal abuse they associate with rodeos..and how we as a people must rise and be conscious about the suffering of animals, and ..excuse me while I swat this fly...BAMMM!

it seems these people are confused as to what animal abuse is so I will clarify for them.... them with the stupid little brains might eventually understand..animal abuse is shooting thousands of pigs on the Channel Islands and shooting deer from helicopters simply because they were labeled non-native..animal abuse is harassing golden eagles in helicopters

animal abuse is dropping poison on Anacapa Island to kill rats and also killing owls and hawks in the process...this is a crime!!

it would be like me dropping poison o'er the Salt Marsh because I don't like non-native rats or do you think that would affect this Kite I watched yesterday??? this is one intense predator but the Nature Conservancy and Parks Service would rather kill these birds than have some rats on Anacapa Island...that's animal abuse!!

roping calves and mutton busting are not examples of animal abuse...neither is ribbon riding or riding bucking broncos...

spoiling dogs and treating them like humans is animal abuse...let dogs be dogs, not some caricature of the owners's neurotic personality..

even the cows will kill you if you mess with their territory:

Cows kill woman in Austria

A woman has been attacked and killed by a herd of cows in Austria.

Police said the animals were apparently agitated at the sight of the 45-year-old German's dog, which was on a lead.

Officers said the hiker was rushed by about 20 cows and their calves. Attempts by an emergency crew to revive her were unsuccessful.

The attack happened in a mountain meadow in Tyrol province.

so spare me the silly meanderings about the rodeo animal cruelty....the Fiesta Rodeo is a grand tradition

and  I may see you protesting at the lonely old women with nothing women with dry crusty wombs that beckon poor dogged souls like Death Valley beckons lonely, homely, pointless women....

 you gals are the blues

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Sweet Jane

Standin' on a corner,
Suitcase in my hand.
Jack's in his car, says to Jane, who's in her vest,
Me, babe, I'm in a rock n' roll band.
Ridin' in a Stutz Bearcat, Jim,
Those were different times.
And the poets studied rows of verse,
And all the ladies rolled their eyes

Sweet Jane, Sweet Jane, Sweet Jane

Happy Days??

on a recent joyride thru Hope Ranch I noted that Laguna Blanca school was watering the ball field lawns.. I was miffed due to the drought....

but now Laguna faces another drought..a drought of facts..I read the story in the News-Press and it was so poorly written I couldn't figure out what was really going on..

according to Angel Pacheco, Laguna is being sued for not reporting a molestation....doesn't say who or where the molesting was done, just says   former student named Jane Doe (I think I've neard of her and her brother John) reported to a teacher she had been molested and was suffering from PTSD...the story says the teacher never reported the molestation and that she's supposed to by law..then Jane Doe say she told an ex Laguna teacher about it and he seduced her! three times!!

the student was 17 when she told the first teacher...

I attended Laguna back in the 1960s and the biggest controversy was a few students got suspended for smoking pot...oh, and the Latin teacher who was gay commited suicide...other than that it was not a bad school except for the lady who "taught" French..she was horrible...they had a great political science teacher and good oceanaography class...the pretty blonde twins became power pastors and had a brother who married Elaine from Seinfeld...
during breaks at Laguna, we'd sit outside the old schoolhouse with the headmaster and drink milk and eat graham crackers....actually I had some fun and learned a few things there but being a rebel, got kicked out eventually...and the chicks were pretty cool...oh and the cross country running I loved...we'd run all over Hope Ranch and the math teacher would monitor us on his little motorcycle....oh and they had a dress code..dark trousers and light blue shirts for the guys but every Friday was "free" could wear whatever you wanted...I wore my suede coat like the Beatles on Rubber Soul...Mr. Cool

now this whole story sounds fishy to me and the only salacious thing about Laguna I could find is the Little Black Dress .....

Jane Doe's lawyer is Josh Lynn and he's a bit of a ambulance chaser...and why would the girl sue Laguna and not the guy or guys who molested her..or seduced her?? three times

it just doesn't make sense..and why sue in small claims court?? and how do you seduce a girl three times?

really I wanna know...

Saturday, July 26, 2014

shock the monkey

don't you know you gotta shock the monkey

now I can't believe some of the responses I've read about the dog that got killed at the County Animal bitch said look deep into the eyes of PIT BULL and you'll see a loyal gentle being....well I will never look into the eyes of a dog because that is a threat that will be met with a bite..whenever I see a dog, I look the other way..tho' still sometimes I step in it

monkey business!

mostly, these are old grey lonely womens with not much in their lives except their dogs...they've failed to regsiter any passion through the years and now they overreact whenever a dog the dog they see another needy thing..when people don't need you anymore, you turn to dogs...

these weird ladies, like Wendy McCuckoo remind me of the ladies who were messsing with Travis the chimp who went ape one day and tore off the face of one of these old womens..Travis' owner wined and dined him, plied him with alcohol and Prozac and slept with him which believe me is enough to drive any monkey crazy....

these dumb bitches are attributing human traits to animals which is known as an "anthropomorphic fallacy" and is very unhealthy, especially for the animal...

now of course people have pets and get sad when they die, but there's no need for all the drama, the "mourning" the "tragedy"....those feeling are reserved for people, not pets...if you can't get over your pet's death, or any animal's death, then you are emotionally messed up...

it's sick...dogs are not people....
now, go eat some dog food

Friday, July 25, 2014

Function at the Junction


a dog was killed at the County animal shelter...the dog's name was Kitti and her mommi and daddi are upset and are seems the dog was in a fight because a kennel worker left the gate open and a rival gang of dogs snuck in and beat the shit outta Kitti..and killed her..killed her, ya hear me??? Kitti had problems before and killed another dog from the other gang so that's why the rival gang of dogs snuck in and killed Kitti..the dog not the cat

what kind of dog kills other dogs for the hell of it?? a dirty dog that's what kind! and what kind of a dog has a name like Kitti

a dead dog...

meanwhile hundreds of Palestinian kids being killed by Israeli thugs....

Lyin' Eyes

you can't hide your lyin' eyes, and your smile is a thin disguise

I think everone agrees DUI is stupid..and FUI is stupid and dangerous...and one thing I've learned over the last few years is the DUI laws can be a little screwy....there are dubious obvious guilty drunks who run into trees or kill people or kill people then run into trees...they can't plead not guilty because well there's the evidence..the black eyes, the bodies and broken limbs...drunks get caught by the cops or citizens who call the cops...the cops come and do an assessment and arrest the drunk and then the fun begins...the drunk hires a DUI lawyer to get him off...they cook up a scheme, a conspiracy theory that tries to place the blame on the arresting cops, or the DA, or the crime lab...and I've seen it with my very own eyes...the drunks will lie in court so they don't have to face the expensive consequences of a DUI incident on their records....

we all know Darryl Genis is a DUI lawyer whose unethical behavior has him possibly being disbarred as he faces yet another contempt of court charge in a DUI case...recently, a court camera caught Darryl suspiciously fiddling with another atty's papers, using his cell phone to photograph people and things he thinks may be conspiratorial...

I don't know who put these notions in Darryl's head..maybe it was former client Peter Lance who investigated his own DUI in the News-Press...a five part series wherein he tried to prove a gov't conspiracy against him and he tried to blame the cops, esp cop Kasi Beutel...and in other cases, cop Tudor....and even cop Corbett!!

now if Beutel and Tudor were back on DUI patrol, Mallory Dies would still be alive and Raymond Morua would have been busted..that is a fact in my opinion...but with Judge Brian Hill on the bench, Ray might be out, free to drink and drive's a vicious cycle...unfortunately the only way to lock up drunks is if they kill someone

now we know after a few years that Peter Lance is full of shit..when his stories don't gain any traction, he tries to explain them on the Mr. Wimpy Show...and of course Lance always tries to plug his silly books at the end

ok so my point is the DUI defense is based in lies....boozers can't seem to take responsibility for their actions unless they have Raymond Morua had Joe Armendariz had to..had they not got caught by crashing their cars, they would still be driving drunk..I GUARANTEE IT!!

the Farther Reaches of Human Nature

Hierarchy of Liars

now, I know that Darryl Genis is a liar..I know that Peter Lance is liar, I know that Lance Armstrong is a liar.. I know that Bill Clinton is a liar...I know that Ollie North is a Maslow pointed out, there's a Hierarchy of Needs; as I point out, there's a Hierarchy of Liars

liars all follow a certain pattern...they lie

so it is up to us to keep them honest or locked up...or isolated from the rest of  the honest population

now I don't make promises so you can't accuse me of lying....well you can but you won't get very far....

now, I need the judges and lawyers to stop playing these little games with my tax dollars....I don't know what it's gonna take...judges needs to start JUDGING!!!

I'm waiting for the feds to lower the BAC to to 0.02 because as it stands now, the law is can drive below 0.08 but at 0.09 you're DUI illegally...

the issue is drunk should not get behind the wheel of a car, a boat, a forklift, an airplane or any machinery that requires sober focus, while you're's just common sense...

but we're talking about alcohol here and the first thing that flies out the window when you're common sense

Thursday, July 24, 2014


Ev'ry time I see your face, It reminds me of the places we used to go

ok so I see that once again in Judge Brian Hill's circus-like courtroom, more mischief is happening...DUI enabler/cheerleader atty Darryl Genis is being accused of ..guess what..contempt of court! well duh..I never seen no one so contemptable as Darryl and his contempt for his court job is a cry for help...see, he really wants ot be a professional surfer like Saun Tomson or some other gitbag...I saw the story in the News-Press and I was aghast that it wasn't written by Darryl's girlfriend Scott where's Scott?

so I guess Darryl was caught on tape jerking off on an opposing lawyer's papers in the courtroom no less while everyone was on a break.....

now my question is why these guys are still in the law game..both Hill and Genis...Judge Hill is incompetent to say the least and Atty Genis is fat setting loose cannons like Tony Denunzio and Peter Lance free when they should be in a little jail in Alabama for perverting justice

speaking of perverts, remember Darryl is pals with porn film maker Andrew Luster..he made the "The Max Fuctor" starring Darryl and Mireille Miller-Young
I don't know.. but this much I do know, Darryl can do whatever he wants in Judge Brian Hill's courtroom..anything...there's no consequences...Hill's the daddy and Genis is the spoiled kid and Hill has no control over his court cases...he's useless, he's pointless and I'm flabberghasted he's a judge...

but I heard through the grapevine that Mireille Miller-Young, the UCSB porn professor that smacked that little teenie religious cult gal for trying to kill her baby, well I heard thet she is pregnant with Darryl's baby and they BOTH have to attend anger-management classes together!

I guess that's all I could hope for


Fugitives from Justice
in other courtroom news, Randy and Evie Quaid are considered "fugitves from justice" according to a tentative ruling...

Case: Randy Quaid, et al. v. American Surety Company,

Case No. #1467545, Judge Sterne

Hearing Date: July 28, 2014

Matter: Motion to Quash Subpoena for Production of Business Records in Action Pending Outside of California

the judge ruled that the Subpoena could be squashed...apparently the Quaids said they didn't break a mirror and had photo proof, but being fuitives from justice, they can't obtain records in California...

The records sought are "Color Photographs in evidence for Case No. 1363847."

Motion: The Sheriff moves to quash the subpoena on two grounds: 1) The Quaids are fugitives from justice and, under the disentitlement doctrine, they cannot seek civil redress. 2) The exclusive means for obtaining evidence in a criminal case is pursuant to Penal Code § 1054.5

Response to Motion: The motion to quash is treated as a "petition" under CCP § 2029.600. Counsel for Quaids acknowledges that he is not licensed to practice law in California. The fugitive disentitlement doctrine does not apply to civil proceedings. The documents are necessary in their civil case against American Surety. They contend that American Surety was unreasonable and negligent in posting $1,000,000 in bail bonds without authorization. They contend the photograph of a mirror will show it was not damaged.

Tentative Ruling: The court grants the Santa Barbara County Sheriff’s Department’s Motion to Quash Subpoena for Production of Business Records in Action Pending Outside of California.

But all I got is a photograph. And I realise you're not coming back anymore...

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

personality crisis

Well, we can't take it this week. And her friends don't want another speech. Hoping for a better day. To hear what she's got to say. All about that personality crisis

BREAKING NOOZ! after I reported that Pacific Coast Business Times reported that Noozhawk, Mission and State and the nonprofit Santa Barbara Foundation were in cahoots to bring you nothing but heartache and funnel money into oblivion, the CEO of the SB Foundation wrote a John Deere letter to Noozhawk telling them it's over....Mission and State is no more.....

ok, this is your face... this is your face on BOTOX....

I was so sad to hear the some Santa Barbara folks were getting laid off by Allergan, the big corporation that makes Botox...Botox!

the real story:
In the most bitter corporate takeover battle of the year that has been going on for months, Allergan AGN +2.23% has called Valeant Pharmaceuticals /companies/valeant-pharmaceuticals/’ business model unsustainable and compared Valeant to Tyco, the acquisition-driven company that crumbled amid an accounting scandal. Two months ago, Valeant CEO Mike Pearson /companies/pearson/shrugged off such tough talk, saying "it was a little insulting to be called a Tyco but I guess time will tell."

But as the war of words heats up in the $54 billion hostile takeover saga in which Valeant is trying to purchase Allergan, Pearson has had enough of Allergan’s tough talk. Valeant said on Monday that it complained to the Securities & Exchange Commission and financial regulators in Quebec about Allergan’s "attempt to mislead investors and manipulate the market for Valeant common shares by continuing to make false and misleading statements."

"We can no longer tolerate unjustified attacks on Valeant’s business and strongly believe we are obligated to take action," Pearson said in a statement released on Monday morning.

like who cares? well not me...I mean how hard can it be to make Botox? what you go to Botox school and all of a sudden you're a professional?

when I have sex I wanna see some fear in your face but Botox makes you look like an expressionless plastic doll..

now I won't bore you about my one time experience with a plastic

well it can't be told, I'm sorry

Monday, July 21, 2014

Burn Baby Burn

disco inferno!!

ok to prove my point about this year's Fiesta being whitewashed and racist, just look at the photo of the poster I saw on EdHAT....first of all, there's 4th of July fireworks - a blatant anti-Fiesta-Spanish anti-socialist statement....

next, all the crosses...the bells in the windows are shaped like crosses and the dude at the door is carrying a cross! teabagger bible thumpers!

next we have some teabaggers on horseback carrying torches...the horse in the forefront is standing on its back legs over a scorched-in-the-grass Germanic archetype depicts the south when white folks and the Klan... the KKK used to burn crosses on the hillsides and lawns of black folks...

and I was able to procure a draft of the first poster that was voted down by only one vote on the Fiesta Commission

put all this together, and you have the Santa Barbara Tea Party running this year's Fiesta...

Olé !!

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Stand By Your Man

give him two arms to cling to....

no I don't claim to be an expert on women...but I like mine stupid, juicy and room temperature and that's all I care about..and Katie Pavlich fits the bill

well, is there a war on women?? or is that just a liberal thing to get ladies out in the working world instead of home where they belong raising children, cooking and taking care of their man

to find a palatable answer I had to turn to the Sunday News-Press natch..but the story was on page 3 without pictures!! odd!

Katie's back door man!

the Reagan Ranch Center and Young Miss America Foundation, Wendy's non-profit had a guest lecturer..none other than Katie Pavlich from the FOX NEWS bubble

and Katie's lecturing at the Reagan Ranch Center and Katie has a daddy thing for Ron obviously...and she's pushing her book

"Katie Pavlich stands up for women everywhere by exposing the blatant hypocrisy of the Democratic Party and its phony ‘war on women’ mantra against Republicans. This is a thorough and gutsy book that should help set history straight." (--Mark R. Levin, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Liberty Amendments)

"BOLD, BEAUTIFUL, AND BRILLIANT: Katie Pavlich is a role model for every young woman in America who truly believes in female empowerment. Her new book is a tour de force that deconstructs left-wing feminist myths and exposes the worst misogynists from Hollywood and the Democrat Party. Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be brainwashed government dependents. Buy this book!" (--Michelle Malkin, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Culture of Corruption)

"In Assault and Flattery, bestselling author Katie Pavlich shows once again why she's one of the country's top conservative reporters. This fun and engaging book will definitely turn any number of myths about Democrats and their so-called support of women on their head. This is a book to give to anyone in need of being immunized from the false narrative endlessly perpetuated by the mainstream media." (--Sean Hannity, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Conservative Victory)

5- finger Carrie!

Sean Hannity!! I remember Sean said the same things about conservative Christian gal Carrie Prejean's book...later Carrie was busted for sending a dirty video to her showed Carrie playing with herself, which BTW I support but a nice Christian girl masturbating for the camera...YEAH BABAY!!!

more Katie: "It’s a two-part war—a war waged to make all women subscribe to certain social behavior, involving complete sexual "liberation" and "independence," and a war waged to convince women that the Democratic Party is the party that will give them everything they need to achieve that narrow-minded view on life—if they pledge their political allegiance.

This is not about women’s rights. It’s about political power and the agenda of the Left, and how a radical feminist movement can conveniently fit into that power grab. Erasing the GOP’s historical role in women’s rights is key because it hides the plain truth of how the Left hijacked the movement and made it something that the original suffragettes never wanted or could imagine."

"Marxist teaching is not a tiny fringe part of the modern, militant feminists’ agenda. It is its centerpiece.


anyway Katie thinks the war of women is a bogus conspiracy perpetrated by left wingers against rightwingers to make girls more like boys and disintegrate traditional roles...boys on top, girls beneath..the missionary position which is fine but a little back dooor action never hurt anyone, Katie...Democrats are brainwashing women and forcing them onto gov't assistance and abortions, and so if you get raped just lie back and enjoy it and have the baby!! if dad hits you, well it's dad's right...and incest...Daddy's little angel should just be quiet

Fox’s Katie Pavlich: Just Because I’m Scared Of Black People Doesn’t Make Me Racist...KAtie says if she's walking down the street and sees black people, she will avoid them as a precaution....she actually said that..and this: "If you’re a conservative, you must read The Great Destroyer: Barack Obama’s War on the Republic by David Limbaugh and What the (Bleep) Just Happened: A Happy Warrior's Guide to the Great American Comeback by Monica Crowley. Then, pass them along to your "undecided" voter friends

but it's pretty simple- equal rights is not war on women...ask any real suffragette....

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Hot Fun in the Summertime...

them summer days...those summer days....

the Jewish people should denounce Netanyahoo as the terrorist he is..he seems to delight in killing Palestinian children..what kind of a summer are those kids having??? it's disgusting

and I see from the News-Press that it's National Dog bring your mutts to the Botanic Gardens because they are dog friendly....the quickest way to kill a lawn is have some dogs piss on it think all those brown lawns in SB are from the drought? think again

ok, I went to Sears and bought some stuff...shirts shoes and a swim suit... and the check-out gal was Asian and extraordinarily beautiful...she giggled and my heart fluttered during the money exchange.. I told her to call me if she needed anyone to wang chung with...boy, what a peach!!

then I went over to Big Five and construction everywhere...had to leave quick so went through Hope Ranch..the lagoon is low with stagnant water full of algae mats... and a stink almost as bad as the Bird Refuge....then I saw the sprinklers on at Laguna Blanca ball field! hey Laguna, we are in a drought and watering in the day when it's hot is stupid...and wasteful...what happened to the leadership at Laguna??? did it die with the old guard?

Laguna Blanca wastes water! SHAME!!

then I went into town thru the Mesa and down the coast and stopped at the Harbor...there's just something about summertime and boats...

so I left and stopped again by the Cabrillo Tequila Rec Center parking lot and headed for the some really cool boats out there..and the coolest yellow speedster- right outta the 50s Miami Beach!!

then I checked ou the Bird Refuge and couldn't stay for more than a few minutes due to the stench..the gas off...even the poor ducks wouldn't go swimming....this cesspool should be a Salt Marsh, just like in Carp...let the tides flush it on a regular basis..what are they waiting for??

no no no no I don't drink it no more!

it would be a nature wonder instead of an eyesore...the water was yellowy brown and smelled like the cemetery is dumping corpses here...

and what does the City Parks Dept do? they plant native plants....

unbelievable....but hey, it's your tax money!

Friday, July 18, 2014

please please me

Come on / (Come on) / Come on / (Come on)

c'mon News-Press...can the paper ever be mended? no because Wendy McCuckoo owns it and the online version's first story and print version front pager was about some financial help needed for a pit bull...

and we know Wendy loves pit bulls...curiously, when a pit bull attacks and hurts or kills a kid, the News-Press never reports those stories...I don't know why people like these neurotic retarded dogs who serve no purpose as far as I can tell...

eff you're gonna put a picture on the front page OF ANYTHING, why not that of a nearly nekid young lady instead of a damn dirty dog?? Jesus Christ!! c'mon!!

ok so next Andy Caldwell says on Page 2 when you want to boil a frog alive, you heat the water slowly...he was trying to use a metaphor about private and public sector pay and boiling frogs...I don't know what he's talking about

then in a desperate attempt to get advertisers, the News-Press druggies got a DUI lawyer from Ventura to place an ad....when will they ever learn???


and Noozhawk has story about women who make dresses for dead babies..I..uh..ah..weird


and the Santa Barbara View printed a story about Mission and State (either a news site or a restaurant) the day after I did and they dint even link Pacific Coast Business Times as the source! well, the View is linked to the Sentinel and Montecito Journal so I am not surprised...but I give them credit for at least printing the story

and what about the Santa Barbara Foundation..sitting on over 300 million bucks!! it is time for me to check these folks out a bit more closely....300 million bucks..that's allotta vaginas!!

just because Wendy dropped the ball, doesn't mean everyone else should!!
and all you other news outlets aren't pleasing me and you should be pleasing me...

if you don't please me, there will be consequences...

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Mellow Yellow

they call me Mellow Yellow, quite rightly

well this is interesting...the news gets weirder and weirder which is why I'm glad to blog about..ain't no one can claim I'm a reporter, no sir!

there's lots of news gatherers out there from EdHAT to Noozhawk to the Independent..I can't and won't include the News-Press because they no longer gather news...they gather moss..the News-Press is a neo-Christian militant rightwing propaganda jive newsletter....advertise today!!!

but there's a story from the Pacific Coast Business Times that caught my eye...PCBT is a very good source for business news and here's the link so they can't say I stole it....I am not a reporter, I'm an assassin

but I did read in Noozhawk about the comingling of State & Mission with Noozhawk but they didn't say how or why or what...Noozhawk is a rightwing online publication that used to be really bad ...when they supported in their stories drunken loser Tony Denunzio and tried to paint the cops as abusers, I knew they must be druggies or boozers, those folks at, they are getting a little better, but, well, they have Diane Dimond and Michele Malkin as columnists.....airheads..yellow journalism...bad news

ok so the big story I wanna tell you about is the relationships among all the players..the nonprofit Santa Barbara Foundation is funding the Noozhawk/Mission  and State merger and the other media are not too happy about it...among them was Pacific Coast Times...

so Mission and State was a bust and not pulling its own weight like most nonprofits...and the stories were lame is way too wordy and pissy...their story on a loser named Taurino Torres was just pathetic as I pointed out on this blog somewhere...Torres is an illegal alien who got busted for driving w/o a license so he sued the City of Santa Barbara for civil rights violations!! the freebie Legal Defense folks took his case but there's no way they could squeeze the city (taxpayers) outta any money....that was the death of Mission & State as far as I'm seems local journalists have turned into lapdogs and that is bad bad bad!! all they seems to care about is Wine festivals!! and none of them did this story!!!

journalists need to write like Janis Joplin sings...fearless and's the only way to right the ship

so that's why I don't understand why anyone would want to save Mission & State... it's damaged goods.. I guess the idea is to take nonprofit funds from the very rich Santa Barabara Foundation and give the cash to Noozhawk to help keep Mission & State afloat...Noozhawk is a for-profit enterprize that now receives money from not only its begging campaign where it asks readers to become paying members, but also from the Santa Barbara Foundation!
hey I'd be pissed too if I was EDHAT or the Independent or the others...I've said before most these tax-exempt non-profits are just scams, just a way to funnel large sums of money to political cronies...

the question is why does a for-profit online publication (Noozwack) need big money from a tax-exempt non-profit (Santa Barbara Foundation) to keep a failing non-profit news publication (Mission and  State) alive???

and funny thing is, I haven't seen Mission & State in Noozhawk yet!

geez, it's alot easier to divorce a rich guy and use that money to buy a for-profit newspaper (News-Press) that loses money all the time... like Wendy did..

all you newsy guys should talk to her....go talk to Wendy...

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Sunny Afternoon

The tax man's taken all my dough, And left me in my stately home, Lazing on a sunny afternoon. And I can't sail my yacht, He's taken everything I've got...


so the IRS sends me a letter and tells me I owe them an extra 362  dollars..they said I erred on the total tax table I got targeted by the IRS and I'm not a teabagger, not a non-profit, not a Republican not even a Democrat...I'm not anything..I don't exist and yet they say I owe them $362...I already paid about $1500 and they want to squeeze me for an extra $362!!

what a bunch of useless fucks the IRS people are.....what are they gonna use the money for....more parties?

look, everyone wants reform of the IRS and we all know the tax tables are a ripoff...why do I owe more if I'm single than if I'm married or the head of a household...I am the head of the household! what a crock of shit this is

oh wait I'm sorry IRS I lost my emails and all my records so I don't know what the fuck you are talking about so I've concluded I don't owe you fucking anything and won't pay you a fucking dime and you can kiss my sweaty fucking ass

instead of worrying about the IRS targeting teabaggers, what about me Darrell Issa? I just got targeted and ripped off by the IRS..the feds!! the lame do-nothing politicians!!

I don't mind paying a reasonable fair tax, but this is piracy, robbery and absurd....the IRS is now on my radar

Monday, July 14, 2014

Watermelon Man

 what you say?
say you got what?
tell me you got a license?
that's alright-
I'll call the Po-lice! he'll make
what you say?
you gonna sell the Po-lice a watermelon?

well it looks like someone gave Mr. Wimpy a black eye..a I didn't...Mr. Wimpy represents himself to be a pretty tough dude, so I don't wanna mess with him! but I do recall on the show, when they were discussing Peter Lance's DUI, Mr. Wimpy claimed having ten drinks and driving is no worse than a woman driving with rambunctious kids in her car...figure that logic out if you can.... anyway, a cold steak or slice of watermelon over that eye might h'ep ya, Mr. Wimpy!

we've had some more dui incidents and I think I know the reason why...dumb judges, dumb lawyers and dumb clients=dumb justice

recently some dude went over the side on Gibraltar Road...and some fool went drunk at the Boathouse at Hendry's -and tore off in his car, hitting other cars and possibly is scarce so far....

then we got loser Tony Denunzio back in court again for alcohol remember that Darryl Genis got Tony off a few times (YUCK!!) and probably lives for that, getting drunk guys off (YUCK!)..but whatever..I hear Darryl's days as lawyer are numbered anyway

apparently Tony got booted from Brophies at the Harbor, then started stumbling around the docks amd boats, and when approached by the harbor security, Tony ran away, scooted off like the coward he is..but he finally got caught and the taxpayers are all deja vu again....each time Tony can't control himself, we pay for it..this is why booze needs to taxed big...I'm sick of playing wet nurse for all these fuckups....

last week Loser was in court for probabtion violation and arraignment on a complaint...this time it was before Judge Adams which is a damn sight better than Judge Brian Hill who keeps letting drunks off the hook...or Judge Wu who keeps letting drunks off the hook...

now I'm still waiting for the coronor's results on some other accidents, possibly involving DUI, but I sure hope they are not withholding info, esp after public agencies are involved in cleaning up after these people...I don't like wasting my tax dough on this stuff and it's just so easy not to drink and drive if you have a spine and some brains...

which I know is asking alot....

Sunday, July 13, 2014

with a little help from my friends

would you believe in a love at first sight, yes I'm certain that it happens all the time

so I blew off the French Festival and all other social engagements because I just had to see Ringo Starr and his All Starr Band...I hadn't been to the Santa Barbara Bowl in awhile and was curious as a I went...found a primo parking spot half a block away and hung out at the Bowl entrance....whew.. it was hot, sunny and muggy... they opened the gates at 5:30 so in we went...I got frisked by some black dude to make sure I wasn't carrying weapons...peace and love, Ringo??

I remember walking up a hill years ago but today they even had a shuttle in case you were too lazy too infirmed to hike...but I saw a shortcut through Jerry Garcia was very steep but only took me a few minutes..Jerry Garcia Glen? really? yup, Jerry Garcia Glen..geez

I reached the Bowl summit but I was sweating like a greased pig at a Christian BBQ! I spied a place to get a drink...I was thirsty but as I later realized, some thirsts just can't be quenched..I got an ice cold Sierra Mist and went to find my seat...I found it and sat down and took a sip..whoa!! refreshing but with 62 grams of sugar packed in that little soda bottle, I couldn't finish it because I felt tipsy...a sugar high...

ok so the Bowl fills up fast and finally Ringo and the band come out at about 7:30 PM to a rousing ovation...Ringo sang a few songs and was content to be the drummer while the other guys showcased their hits from yesterday...

Todd Rundgren was a standout..dressed in orange shoes and trippy rags and neat green guitar he played some stellar stuff from his solo career..he started with 'I Saw the Light" was perfect..

the other guys from Santana to Toto to Mr. Mister, whose Richard Page did a wonderfully loud and beautiful rendition of "Kyrie", brought some radio soul to the Bowl...this is a really good band....almost a garage band atmosphere...

I sat high up..the new seats are terraced so the view is magnificent..but the seats are scrawny and too close together..however, I didn't mind because I had a chick sitting next to me and we rubbed legs all night..not on purpose and she was with her boyfriend who was caressing the hell out of her left shoulder..she probably was getting annoyed so a few leggies with me was a good outlet for her..and in front of me was a beauty who kept tossing her lovely blonde hair back, landing on my other leg, by the knee...JESUS that felt good...I was wearing shorts and a young woman's soft long hair tickling my leg was just what I needed...

so I saw thousands of people..many kept coming and going to get beer in little clear plastic cups..hic...hic...

I think I saw Jan from Jan and Dean and Mike Love from the Beach Boys...and more pussy than any man had a right to see...Ringo can still draw them in...the babes..

oh it was a fine night...and most definitely a trip to see the guy, the drummer who played with George, John and Paul..and before that, Rory at the Cavern! still a stellar musician and still bringing it..never lost his working class vibe!

the highlights were a singalong on Yellow Submarine....people were singing out the parts like we were the Beatles!! FUN!!

the end was With a Little Help From My Friends... a really lovely Lennon/McCartney song from Sgt Pepper...the band was flawless and Ringo was..well..Ringo...

a splendid time was had by all...I left with the mass of people heading down the hill...the moon glowing gold though the clouds....and I see at least 20 cabs going 'round in circles picking people was I was all of a sudden in India!

hey where's the Maharishi???

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Spanish Harlem

There is a rose in Spanish Harlem/ A red rose up in Spanish Harlem/ It is the special one, it's never seen the sun. It only comes out when the moon is on the run.....

Saint Barbara..whitewashing Fiesta???

Fiesta is coming up and my question is where are the Spanish folks? it seems Fiesta has been hijacked by conservative white people, the absolute worst kind...the flag wavers, the chickenhawks, the bible-thumpers....oh yeah they are all pro-life except when you're a Mexican kid at the border, then they want to kill you..let me remind my white brethren, we invaded America illegally and stole yee should not be so quick to judge others..besides, we opene the borders and invited the Mexican folks to come on over to help us with the WWII effort...and this is the thanks they get??

now you'll notice on the front page of the News-Press a picture of white chick with a into that what you may, but this gal is the pick for Saint Barbara for this year's Fiesta...she was picked by a group called The Native Daughters of the Golden West...I remember this group because ol' Mike Self was part of it...'member Mike Self, the funny old gal on the city council who hated bulb-outs and unions...and bananas!!

The Native Daughters of the Golden West is a fraternal and patriotic organization founded on the principles of

Love of Home
Devotion to the Flag
Veneration of the Pioneers
Faith in the Existence of God

of course the NDGW is a tax-exempt non-profit- a little reseach or common sense will tell you they have a racist background..they can deny it all they want but they are racists...and they exclude people who aren't "native"!! how does a nonprofit get away with such discrimination?? (IRS!!! TARGET!!!) "When I first heard of Native Daughters/Sons of the Golden West, I wondered why a charitable organization would exclude membership based on nativity.
Then it occurred to me that it could be a subtle way to exclude certain parts of the population. I looked it up, and according to the NSGW wiki article, it was formed under white racist fundamentals" quote from web

KKK babe


In the post-pioneer period, "Hangman’s Tree" became a generic place-name and the subject of fakelore. Many towns boasted of having one, and invented or exaggerated the number of people killed. In 1896 a San Francisco paper repeated the legend that over forty people "passed into eternity" from the largest limb of Hangman’s Oak near Copperopolis. The next year, newspapers across the nation printed a syndicated story—a fond and plainly racist obituary—about the "famous gallows tree of San Bernardino." From its branches, supposedly, more than fourteen men had "swung into eternity," and in its shade "some of the most thrilling events in the history of the wresting of the golden state of California from Indian half breeds and Mexican domination have been planned." In the 1930s the Native Daughters of the Golden West erected plaques to commemorate the genuine lynching trees in Jackson and in Placerville, seat of El Dorado County. A generation later, a second plaque erected beside Placerville city hall asked for empathy for the executioners: "let us not judge them too harshly for those were the rough days of the great gold rush."

"the Native Daughters of the Golden West erected plaques to commemorate the genuine lynching trees in Jackson and in Placerville"

how nice of them....

Friday, July 11, 2014


ring, ring, golden ring around the sun, around your pretty finger....

now I've told you that Montecito was filling up with flakes..Dennis Miller, Don Johnson, Nipper, Rob Lowe and the rest...I gotta contend with Alan Thicke's nonsense in Carp whose son was inexplicably married to the very hot and beautiful actress Paula Patton (Mission Impossible)...

I was watching the Salt Marsh fill up last night...the moon was full and tides were upper level low pressure trough made the weather cool and breezy...the marsh was alive!!! I just hope Alan Thicke doesn't live by the beach but the thought that Paula knows where Carp is and may have set foot here, well..Paula why not come visit me and leave the Thickes in the dust..they are total flakes

David Tallman!

speaking of flakes.. Dennis Miller..what a sell-out this guy is..hooks up with FOX News to get the O'Reilly teabagger audience..hangs around the Alpha stores to make himself look smarter...ALPHA folks..Dennis Miller is using you!!

and I watched a bit of his show on EPIX...he did a routine in Orange County and blasted public workers and unions..that's the first responders!! like this punk Miller ever did any real work in his life ..what a putz

but the latest guy, David Tallman....WTF happened to him...I guess he freaked out because the Montecito Journal left him out of the glossy edition of Jewelry he threatened to blow up his rental house on Olive Mill Rd and made threats and generally went I said probably because the MJ snubbed him...although I can't say for sure



David Tallman calls himself a goldsmith, but we see him as a creator of talismans for folks lucky enough to own one of his creations. David contacted us after the last issue of Montecito Journal (glossy edition) and fretted that we had left him out of our roundup of Montecito jewelers ("THe Search for Jewels and Gems"). We had indeed left him out, but can’t be blamed entirely; David has no Montecito showroom. But, he has worked for nearly all the jewelers in town, has lived in Montecito for almost forty years and has been fabricating intricate, whimsical, elaborate, and absolutely stunning set pieces – some of which we dare say are museum worthy – for at least as long.

well I'm not into jewelry, but I looked at his stuff, his creations, and they look pretty cool...Jimi or Janis might have worn those...

so why would this guy do what he did?? and why did the Montecito Journal glossy leave him out of the issue?? they made room for Silverhorn, but not Tallman???

Seeking Arrangement

remember that story about college co-eds seeking sugar daddies promoted in the News-Press...the thing was written by ditzy Sara Bush...well it seems a family guy/executive from Google found a gal on the website, invited her to his boat, and she killed him with an overdose of heroin!! then she drank some wine, stepped over the body and split

I think the News-Press should be held responsible for the guy's death..

Thursday, July 10, 2014

7th Son

I'm a-one, I'm a-one, the one they call the 7th Son

with the News-Press reduced to some weird faux-Christian newsletter, I've pondered and wondered about what's next....a newspaper? no the News-Press is not a newspaper anymore...the future of news? no the News-Press is not the future of news...a joke? yes the News-Press is a joke....a discombobulated, unampersonious joke!

so while the Newspress has shrunk, this blog must let's try a new name....a new masthead...a new vision...I will continue to poke fun with biting satire at the folly of man and the insufferable hypocrites over at the News-Press, but I will also include philosophy, biology, poetry etc for culture...let's face it, if you read this blog, you're a moron, so I'm gonna educate you...Mark Twain once said..well Mark Twain said alot of things, so did Sophocles

and the new name will be....ooops sorry technical glitches!!!

ok then... I told you I had problems with Italians..the women well I hear they carry diseases peculiar to raccoons so like I say stay a way from them...

I wouldn't for all the tea in China!

but Greek they are really stunners..real beauties..I like to cover them with olive oil and salami and ya know have lunch....on them!!

It's all Greek to me

the 4th of July is over.....the 5th of July was awesome and sunny! as was the 6th...the 7th was anybody's guess...

now I heard that the fireworks in Santa Barbara by Stearn's Wharf had some issues..ordnances exploding, hands being blown off, shrapnel embedding in a few patriotic heads..dead bodies bobbing in the ocean below the wharf..why go to Iraq when you can get wounded at the Santa Barbara 4th of July Fireworks show!!

apparently they started the show then stopped for 15 minutes...people left thinking it was over because of the fog...then the fireworks started it again

I tried to get the story but heard differnt versions...but the main point was this may have been the outfit that cause havoc in Oxnard's fireworks last year....explosions, no safety protocol...fireworks should be a tribute to American Independence, not a killing ground!

Sunday was hot sunny and was weather I live was weather to die for

I read the News-Press newsletter and chuckled....Wendy paid 150 mil for this??

Scott Steepleton's front page investigative story concerns Santa Barbara sidewalks and the claims from folks who tripped...some go back to 2010...well, this has been going on forever....the trees with big roots present problems for streets and sidewalks

and you got lots of trees and people looking for some money so they trip and sue the city for not maintaining the sidewalks....but the city provides a good faith effort to fix the side walks...even in can't make everything safe for everyone all the Scott's story was absurd and't watchdog my foot...(get it??)

I went down to the tracks to do some guerilla gardening in the bush....remove some dead brush since nobody else will...the train went by...I love a good train...

so I passed this guy walking his first I thought it was Nipper maybe Wendy kicked him outta the house...or maybe he was looking for gold by the coast....

I found gold on this hot sunny humid July day.....tropical clouds over the mountains...sweat running down my face...finally...

sweet summer sweat...

Wednesday, July 9, 2014


all the people, living life in peace

so I see that wineries in Santa Maria and Santa Ynez are upset they have to follow rules..rules the rest of us part of society...apparently the County is going to limit the winery social events like parties and tastings and such..but some wine guys are whining about it and one dude is claiming the county is entering into Prohibition which of course is nonsense...

they are upset about a Wine Ordinance...

some guy from Orange County who now owns Imagine Wines in the Santa Ynez boonies is whining like a drunk teabagger about all those rules ..rules imposed to limit the impact on neighbors...what gets me is people like these wine fucks who think they can do anything they want...just becasue you own land doesn't mean you can do with it as you please...everything that we do affects someone else....rules are often necessary when people act like spoiled adults....

in Carpinteria, there will be no casino, no wineries and no multitude of tasting rooms on every block because I WILL STOP THEM PERSONALLY!! with my Sword of Damocles will swing over their heads!!

the wine folks say that social events and tastings (parties) on their properties are a main income producer...ok that's fine but the Wine Ordinance just limits the doesn't stop them from holding all the stupid phony pretentious tastings

I mean really, what other ag industry relies on onsite sales/parties for the bulk of its income? avocado? strawberries? corn?? no, that's why a vineyard is not a real ag commodity and that's why these winos are so defensive....

plus all the drunk drivers....who needs them on the rural roads??? the wineries don't give a fuck about that as long as the wine is flowing...these folks are junkies!!!

and the worst thing is the wineries, like the oil industry, always claim that if the County imposes restrictions on them, it will hurt non-profits and charities that they so generously give about a crock of shit!!

and wineries use/waste tons of water and for what? WINE!!!!???? we need water for food..for real crops! these people are a bunch of

I support all efforts to curtail this winery plague before it spreads thoughout the county like an invasion of a casino

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

get down

I've told you once before and I won't tell you no more, get down, get down, get're a bad dog baby....

ok we know the nonprofit Channelkeeper, led by Princess Kira, sued the City of Santa Barbara and raised sewer rates to speed up the process of rehabbing sewer lines..the idea was to limit or reduce the spills...the spills were causing the beaches to be shut down according to all the hype....

in reality, the spills were minimal, contained overflows from clogged sewer lines..clogged by tree roots or is really rare to see a beach shut down due to a sewage spill....

beach warning signs go up when the bacteria numbers go up....

so the source of the bacteria is the key to ending the water issues...Channelkeeper has long said leaky sewer pipes cause beaches to be contaminated but this is nonsense...

I'm happy to see SBCREEKS starting to look at the real problems..esp at Arroyo Burro beach..I bet Wendy McCuckoo walks her dogs there or gets someone to walk them for her, a surrogate if you will....

at SBCREEKS.ORG they found that dogs were causing contamination of the beach and bacteria was festering in the I've been to Arroyo Buuro and there's tons of dogs..the sheer number of dogs I saw was appalling!! and there's a Pet Spa there...absurd!

for some reason people cain't go anywhere without their dog..ok that's fine until all that rich gourmet dog food they feed them ends up running out the dog's ass into the creek or worse on my lawn...or worse the owners leave the little bags behind for someone else to clean up....douchebags...

dogs should never leave the confines of their house or yard otherwise they are a public health hazard...and domestic dogs are NON-NATIVE!!

if they can't eat it, they piss on it!!

now none of these nonprofit enviro groups are gonna admit that dogs are a big pollution problem at the beach because they all have their designer dogs who can do no wrong

one dog crapping, in coliform numbers, can close a beach!!
The frequency of exceedances of bacteriological standards and the concentration of
indicator bacteria vary from month to month. For example, the frequency of
exceedances are generally greater during the winter months when creeks flow to the
ocean, carrying contaminants from the watershed to the nearshore waters. The
frequency of exceedances is typically lower during the summer months when the
creek flows are insufficient to reach the ocean and a closed waterbody forms at the
mouth of the creek.

There are exceptions to these observed patterns of exceedances and bacteria
concentrations the beach. For example, the lagoon at the mouth of Arroyo Burro
may open occasionally during the summer due to hydrostatic pressure, or due to
partial breaching by beach users. Under these circumstances, there is a potential for
creek water to increase the bacteria levels in the ocean and possibly cause
exceedances. Beach bacteria concentrations in the summer may also be relatively
high (in the absence of runoff) due to other factors, such as:

􀂃 Bacteria loading in the lagoons from sea gulls and waterfowl, or from high dry
weather flows (i.e., urban runoff) with high bacteria concentrations

􀂃 Bacteria loading in the nearshore waters from sea gulls and dog feces...

in other words, dogs are crapping all along the creek....up in the watershed where people live next to the creek and let their crappy dogs crap amount of creek restoration or native plants can solve the problem of too many dogs kinda dog

wild dogs like coyotes aren't likely the cause of pollution because they are healthier and smarter than stupid domestic dogs.... and coyotes use the creek water to drink..who craps in the water they drink??

certainly not coyotes