Thursday, February 28, 2013

"Hey Paula"

Hey, hey Paula, I wanna marry you
Hey, hey Paula, no one else will ever do
I've waited so long for school to be through
Paula, I can't wait no more for you
My love, my love

Hey Paul, I've been waiting for you
Hey, hey, hey Paul, I want to marry you too
If you love me true, if you love me still
Our love will always be real
My love, my love

True love means planning a life for two
Being together the whole day through
True love means waiting and hoping that soon
Wishes we've made will come true
My love, my love

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

all lost in the supermarket

I'm all lost in the supermarket
I can no longer shop happily

well I see that the Republicans are trying to change their image after being pummeled in the last elections...they could consult Steve Pappas who is an image consultant but after his thing with big fat Nancy Crawford-Hall, I think it would be best for the GOP to stay away from Pappas..

while I was thinking about this and watching Looney Toons with Porky Pig and Daffy Duck, it struck me...seems that Porky was excited about enrolling in the "father figure" program where he mentors young animals who need some one critter said "I got nothing on my schedule, so mentor away"...

Porky is a good father figure and said it's all about respect...
I think that is the crux of the Republicans' problems.....they don't have any self-respect! they don't respect anything...they drink and drive, they whine, they blame..they are like little babies in need of father figures..even the conservatvie fathers need father figures because they suck at being dads!

so if they listen to Porky Pig, they may gain some mojo back, if they ever even had any...they listen to the wrong people like Rush Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly who writes a book a week it seems...and the News-Press is filled with kooks like Rush's brother Davis Limbaugh and white girl wannabe Star Parker who blames everything on the devil! hahah...

so the obvious choice to lead the Republicans out of the Walmart wilderness is Porky Pig, an American icon! Porky is honest and fair, unlike most Republicans...and Porky is one who could glue the fabric of the American family back together doesn't matter that your father figure is a pig, or a lesbian or even dear old dad long as respect and love are there, then that's how you'll treat others...instead of bomb- bomb-bombing Iran, the Republicans can concentrate of building up America....and therefore, building up themselves!

there's more to life than chicken sandwiches and shopping you know....

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

devil with the blue dress on

fee fee figh figh fo fo fum.....lookin' mighty nice now here she comes

see I like the Chromatic Gate.... I think it is seductive...I've used it as a landmark to measure my beach annoys some people which makes me the Santa Claus figure annoyed people..

as I passed by today I saw Ms. Gate was covered with a sheer green nighty, ready for new days ahead...other media outlets will show you the Chromatic Gate covered up, but as you can see, I show the naked sculpture beneath the green cover..

I like seeing things through things like Anne Hathaway's nipples through her Oscar dress...

you got eyes..use them!!

Monday, February 25, 2013

Hey Mr. Spaceman

won't you please take me along for a ride...

now yesterday I talked about the greaser problem so let's discuss the surfer problem today, 'kay? I catagorize surfers as all dumb white guys..not at all related to the great sport of surfing...or the folks who surf....there are some dumb folks who surf, but there's some pretty smart ones too...

to highlight the stupid surfer dudes, let's start with the Sentinel, Jim Buckley's freebie mag...this mag is alcohol centric pushing the Funk Zone into the Drunk Zone....booze this and booze that and even one of their columnists, the Goleta Gal, got busted for DUI.. I read about in the paper, a letter to the editor from Darryl Genis who represented the old gal....I mean, how stupid can you be? still getting drunk after all these years?? still can't make intelligent choices??

of course Darryl makes excuses for the drunks and blames MADD and everyone else except the idiots who get behind the wheel and drive inebriated..

but it appears that anyone who works for a newspaper must be an alcoholic to get hired!

next we have the News-Press, Surfrider Foundation and the Marine Mammal Center sounding the alarm about sharks..actually it's just hysteria from a bunch of wannabe surfers..more nonsense from Peter Howorth a total hack who rescues sea mammals who've been bitten by sharks and then says YOU'RE NEXT!! haha

then when News-Press wanker Andy Caldwell tells me that DDT is really a good thing, and good for me, and good for Africa, the more we use the better, well...I gotta think he and his hillbilly farmer pals up north got sumthin up their sleeves...any look at history will tell you that the ag industry routinely used DDT to kill insects, but the insecticide also killed the good bugs and its heavy use by agriculture and other applications made the insects resistant to DDT effects,

"...with a long history of crop
spraying, malaria vectors have
developed increasing resistance
to dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane
(DDT) and to pyrethroids.

then Caldwell gushes over a guy named Robert Zubrin whose book Merchants of Despair says that Silent Spring author Rachel Carson is responsible for killing millions of people because she exposed the overuse and abuses of DDT spraying...Zubrin is a crackpot and president of a nonprofit that wants people to colonize Mars!! he reminds me of that Heaven's Gate suicide cult leader who wanted to jump on the Halle Bopp comet!

Rachel Carson was a biologist, not a pimp for the chemical companies ...
Carson was attacked by the chemical industry and some in government as an alarmist, but courageously spoke out to remind us that we are a vulnerable part of the natural world subject to the same damage as the rest of the ecosystem. while former Secretary of Agriculture Ezra Taft Benson—in a letter to Dwight D. Eisenhower—reportedly concluded that because she was unmarried despite being physically attractive, she was "probably a Communist".

so it's mostly the science-challenged conservatives who use the bible instead of research to draw their conclusions, and continue to malign Rachel Carson whose prescient book foretold of the many problems with pesticide misuse...and we can see the problems today..the dying bees, the crazy poisoning on the Channel Islands, the bogus expensive restorations, and the mice drops on Guam to kill brown tree snakes....

Rachel Carson warned about all this:
These sprays, dusts, and aerosols are now applied almost universally to farms, gardens, forests, and homes-nonselective chemicals that have the power to kill every insect, the "good" and the "bad," to still the song of birds and the leaping of fish in the streams, to coat the leaves with a deadly film, and to linger on in soil-all this though the intended target may be only a few weeds or insects. Can anyone believe it is possible to lay down such a barrage of poisons on the surface of the earth without making it unfit for all life? They should not be called "insecticides," but "biocides."

Rachel Carson was brilliant and one of my heroes....but these other guys? well, they are now on my radar

Sunday, February 24, 2013

gimme shelter

it's just a shot away....

well the trial finally started for the east side gang bangers accused of killing a liquor store clerk...I was called to serve as a possible juror on this case and got to see some preliminary lawyering first hand...the defense tried to weed out the jurors who may be biased against gangs..the defense laywers tried to convince us their clients were poor little innocent victims.. three good boys accused of something they didn't do...beat a guy to death for reason...

one of the requirements that Judge Brian Hill made is that the jurors not read any newspapers and stay off the internet so as to give the gangbangers a fair trial..this was a stupid request because the story has been in the news for three years...we already know what happened...three Mexican gang morons with criminal records got drunk and drugged and killed a guy because they are cowards..unfortunately, this is not a death penalty trial so when these dumb fucks are found guilty, the taxpayer will pick up the bill....

naturally I was dismissed from jury duty because of my candor.. maybe I'll get picked in a few years for the latest killing..the guy who got ambushed by the High School...

ok so we got gang infested neighborhoods and the Mayor and councilman Frank Hothckiss running around holding meetings..well the cops can't be everywhere and most of their time is taken up with drunk drivers and child the gangs are allowed to continue as domestic really should be able to ride your bike down the street without getting shot and the city council needs to stop dicking around with this lowlife...first off, the National Guard needs to start patrols in the gang infested areas...resurrect the National Guard Armory by the SBHS...they could move an ROTC program there and use this facility as is shameful the neglect of this property!

next gangs should be illegal as terrorism is illegal...the gang injunctions are useless and a waste of my tax money!

the city and state and feds need to start cleaning up these areas...round 'em up and ship 'em abortions should be provided to all gang members who have impregnated a female gangsta because the gene pool has been polluted and we already know what's gonna happen...these little shaved headed tykes are all gonna grow up to be gangbangers like their dumbass daddies!

and that is unacceptable....

Saturday, February 23, 2013

out of my mind

Guadalcanal Diary: the bionativism scam continues

war is an ugly thing...well it depends on which side you're on I guess and then it can be a pretty the allies banding together to beat Hitler and then the Americans dropping the bomb on Japan to stop the Imperial Army in their tracks...

man will invent ways to stop threats..some threats are real and some are, well, in their minds, but warfare never changes as long as threats exist or as long as man invents dig what I'm trying to say? or maybe I'm too much of a threat? hahahah!!!

anyway, my gov't, my military has decided to go to war on the little isalnd of Guam and the enemy they seek to destroy is the brown tree snake..a snake that has been on the island since the 1950s but all of a sudden is "decimating the native bird population" and is sneaking into homes and biting people and chewing into electrical lines! on an island!

so, the solution the Navy has come up with is to drop a bunch of poisoned dead mice from helicopters and hope the snakes eat them and die...apparently the NSAID
acetaminophen is toxic to the snakes, so the mice are stuffed with the painkiller and dropped onto the island...

The discovery that snakes will die when they eat acetaminophen was a huge step forward," Anne Brooke, conservation resources program manager for Naval Facilities Command Marianas, said Thursday [September 2]. "The problem was how you get the snakes to eat it." [
Stars And Stripes]

The solution: the snakes aren’t big pill poppers, so the researchers decided to deliver the poison dose by stuffing Tylenol tablets in the mouths of dead mice, an appetizing snake snack.

The problem with the solution: many of the snakes live in the wild, unreachable forest canopy. To get the mice to drop specifically onto the high branches and not to the forest floor, where they could be eaten by other animals, would require some special equipment,

The solution to that problem: using streamers and cardboard from a party store,
researchers at the USGS were able to fashion a parachute, which would land the mice in the canopy, where the tree snakes gobble them up and promptly die.

this is the military at tax money at work and just like the Channel Islands poison drop to kill the Anacapa rats, this scheme to kill the snakes is equally stupid...these people are out of their heads!!!

Friday, February 22, 2013

Honky Tonk Women

gimme gimme gimme the honky tonk blues...

the area's foremost drinking and driving expert DUI lawyer Darryl Genis has been slipping under my radar of late...the last time I saw Darryl, his hothead ex Hollywood producer client was jailed for impersonating a police officer! it seems Darryl is defending the scum of the earth from drunk drivers to rapists now..

apparently, Darryl is old friends with Max Factor grandson and heir to the cosmetic fortune Andrew Luster...Luster of course was convicted of rape after drugging some women and then having sex with them....I used to do that but the drug was alcohol and the chicks were willing participants..I mean really Andrew, you need to put some effort in this not just knock them out!! geez what a brat!

anyway, Andrew is a poor little rich kid who got spoiled and I guess thought he could get away with it.. 
Luster had been supported by a $3.1 million trust fund as he traveled and surfed at various beaches.

In 1996, 1997 and 2000, Luster was accused of giving three women GHB, a date rape drug, and raping them while they were unconscious. Luster was brought to trial in 2002. Soon afterward, police officers found videotapes of Luster raping the women in question, including one tape labeled "Shauna GHBing. In January 2003, while on trial for rape, Luster left the country and was declared a fugitive from justice by the judge. Although his attorneys attempted to halt proceedings until he could be located, the judge ruled that Luster would be tried in absentia.

and somehow he became friends with Darryl Genis..they met surfing one day...somehow I can't picture Darryl as a surfer when he looks like a fat greaser ...and now there's another rumor that during the Lance DUI hearing in 2011, Darryl, Peter Lance and Scott Steepleton made a gay sex tape called "Three Swinging Dicks" and it was directed by Mr.Wimpy! I'm checking into that one with all the necessary safety equipment

the Luster case is pretty convoluted with one of the rape victims seeking a 19 million dollar judgement against Luster..and Dog the Bounty Hunter originally capturing Luster when he was on the run in old Mexico

here's an update from LAtimes BLOG
In a blue jail jumpsuit and orange T-shirt, the 49-year-old former surfer smiled at his old friend Darryl Genis, one of several witnesses who appeared Wednesday. A Santa Barbara attorney who specializes in drunk-driving cases, Genis recounted how the two met while surfing at Hollister Ranch.

Offering Luster apologies for his candor, Genis testified that his old surfing buddy was "childlike" and failed to comprehend that he could be sentenced to more than 100 years after he was convicted. Luster had been "able to live a life on vacation," Genis said, never rooting himself in such concerns as earning a living. Luster's financial advisor, Albert Gersh, had particularly harsh words for Richard G. Sherman, a Luster attorney who he said advised his client to head for the border.

Sherman, who died in 2011, and one of his investigators "encouraged him to leave the country … they said he'd be murdered in prison," Gersh said. The financial advisor said he told Luster that fleeing was "the stupidest idea I'd ever heard."

the irony is he blew through his inheritance and declared bankruptcy and now my tax money is going to house and feed this jackass at the Mule Creek State Prison!

drugging and raping three girls then videotaping it..isn't that kinda like what Rob Lowe did??

Thursday, February 21, 2013

everyone's gone to the movies

now we're alone at last

the SB Film Festival is over thank god but I was thinking about movie stars...take James Dean...never cared much for him as an actor...saw Rebel Without a Cause once but it was just too drama queeny for me...Dean was too shrill and aloof for me to watch the whole movie...and he died in a car accident up by Fresno of all places.. I went to Fresno once and of course once is enough unless you like Iowa in California..but I went up to Fresno and came back on the two-lane highway in the middle of nowhere..stood at the crossroads and saw the place where Dean bought it sight unseen...I mean you gotta be a pretty bad driver to crash and burn up there because there's nothing up there except roads and a few cows!

now Steve McQueen is another story...Steve was cool and starred in the Great Escape and Bullitt, two films I watch whenever they are on because they don't make them like that anymore...why do you think I wear turtlenecks..because I'm a turtle?? no.... because I'm cool

STOP! in the name of love...
and then I see on KEYT they hired one of my fave singers, Diana Ross...Motown was huge in the day and the music was second to none so I was thrilled to see Diana doing a weekend reporter gig on KEYT! STOP..IN THE NAME OF LOVE... BEFORE YOU BREAK MY HEART...THINK IT OH- OH-VER...

well I guess wherever you are on the social spectrum, there's better things in life than being a dead movie star...just ask Diana Ross!

Wednesday, February 20, 2013


turn off your mind relax and float down stream...

ok so according to pothead Lanny Ebenstein, public employees earn too much...hey where have I heard that before? oh yeah, Lanny keeps repeating himself in the editorial pages fo the News-Press regarding public employees....and to hear Lanny tell it, cities across the country are going bankrupt due to employee benefits...libraries are closing, prisoners are running loose, services are being cut all die to employee benefits..and Lanny thinks that public employees work less days a week than private employees...Lanny you dumbass, working 10 hours a day 4 days a week is the same as working 5 days, 8 hours a day...but sometimes schedules are designed around the work to be done....

Lanny's seems to have memory's a fact that marijuana impairs the memory:
Research has shown that, in chronic users, marijuana's adverse impact on learning and memory persists after the acute effects of the drug wear off;

so that explains why Lanny writes an editorial and then two days later writes the same one! but this one was a mea culpa of sorts wherein Lanny says he never had questioned the value of work that public employees do but that everyone is in denial about the need for reform....

ah Lanny what do you think Gov Brown just did? he reformed public employees pay and benefits...but that doesn't mean municipalities can squander away their obligations and overspend on frivolous things...

Lanny and his libertarian friends simply don't value work or career instead they depend on sugar mamas like Wendy to take care of them...Lanny's pot house issues in Eureka are a perfect example of a guy without a clue..all the tax money that went into dealing with Lanny's pot house ...cops responded to complaints about his creepy pothouse on numerous occasions...finally he settled with his neighbors right before the trial was about to happen!!

well lots of workers don't have a sugar mama so instead they planned for their futures using their brains....the last thing you want is to be in your 50s writing anti-public employee editorials for Wendy....Lanny does this because he didn't plan his life successfully...he knows it and I know it and now you know it...

Lanny and his ilk haven't a clue about work or the value of work and the value of paying employees instead of trying to fuck with them....the service work will need to be done and not everyone will be able to do it...some city jobs require state certification or you don't work..that's right you need to study and pass a state test so you can't just hire some doper off the street like Lanny to do a city job...

and Lanny, I'm still waiting for you to bench press a 750 lb motorcycle...or even a 35 lb tricycle

Monday, February 18, 2013

in the city

It's survival in the city
When you live from day to day
City streets don't have much pity
When you're down, that's where you'll stay

ok city workers..according to Lanny Ebenstein and the News-Press, you are over-paid and underworked..and the money you make is part of a corrupt work and pay scheme cooked up by unions...when you the unionized city worker says Jump..the city council only asks how high?

now I had to laugh when I read this because on page 2 there was a story about the first SBPD woman cop on a motorcycle..there she was bench pressing a 750- pound Honda!! I'd like to see Lanny try that because he would break down and cry and run to his mommy Wendy and then smoke a joint..

actually Lanny's editorial was the most delusional one I've read and so typical of libertarian anti gov't nonsense...he is just clueless and a simple tour of the city innerworkings would clarify things for him.....of couse the city needs to get rid of certain departments that serve no purpose except to annoy me like the creeks division's war on water lilies and frogs, but that can be done piece by piece..or streamlined...but the city has been open for business forever and is run well for the most part....all this money worry by Lanny is misplaced...the economy tanked under Bush and Paulson and is recovering slowly and steadily under workers didn't cause the financial chaos, the conservatives caused it..the bankers, the insurance crooks that we bailed out!!

but Lanny's big issue is collective bargaining, not streamlining city gov't...public unions which negotiate salaries and benefits with the worker and the city..the process is not evil or complicated..Lanny tried to work for the city as a council member years ago but got beat and besides he didn't even live in the city limits... again, too much pot smoking for the libertarian! pot messes with your judgement and turns you into a dumbass stoner dude like Lanny and Team Wendy members...

see Lanny this is how it works, when you slackers sit around all day smoking pot, the adults are doing the real work in the city...uh the city


Sunday, February 17, 2013

I'm only human

born to make mistakes

so I'm watching the Planet of the Apes marathon..a perfect way to lead me out of the influenza wilderness... yeah, I have passed thru the night of fires....a metaphor of sorts for my experience over the last week.. I've been to the Planet of the Apes, Beneath the Planet of the Apes and Escaped from the Planet of the Apes....

the flu tried to make a monkey outta me a few times and although I may be a monkey's uncle, I ain't nobody's chimp..but be warned inside every man and woman is a curled up little ape

the Planet of the Apes of course is a sci fi classic and I saw it at the Granada Theatre first time in 1968..the Granada was an awesome place back then before it got over-built...big giant red sofas and ornate stairways and we'd hang out in the lobby scoping the girls..

but anyway the "Conquest of the Planet of the Apes" caught my attention..the part where the workers were on strike, complaining about apes taking their jobs..the apes were mainly in service jobs..the powers that be warned the human workers their rights to collectively bargain would be taken away for a year unless they stopped striking and went back to work....

but who can blame the workers for not wanting the place to be run by a bunch of apes???

Nipper's first attempt at manual labor
now in between the Apes marathon, I switched to watched the Inn Crowd show with Nipper as guest...WTF kinda show is this? two guys in the kitchen cooking mushroom soup and breaking for wine ads every three seconds...first of all Budi the chef handed Nipper a chef's knife to cut up some mushrooms and Nipper looked confused like he never worked in a kitchen before...if it wasn't for Wendy, Nipper would be a freakin bartender...the guy's total fraud...every word during the cooking is "wow" "neat" or "super" people can produce this slop and then expect me to eat mushroom soup again is beyond me!! this show is an abomination....a joke...a bacillus....not fit for an ape..the sorriest piece of television I've seen since Marco Rubio's appalling sweaty little girly- man rebuttal perfomance....he looked shiftier than an illegal alien in an Arizona Denny's!

Friday, February 15, 2013

my friend, Flicka

Food and Wine

well there's alot of complaining about wineries in the valley..the tasting rooms and the tourists they bring have been creating problems for neighbors...the bratty sons all riding around Santa Ynez in their Mercedes Benz SUVs their daddies bought them

I sympathize, really I do...but filming has already begun..the wine the food the cheese

Nipper and Budi prep a Flicka omelet
I see Nipper will be a guest on the first show of the second season of the "Inn Crowd" with Chef Budi Kazali...Budi is from Indonesia where they eat horses and dogs!! Budi owns the Ballard Inn..this according to Scott Steepleton, Wendy and Nipper's houseboy...fetch my slippers, Scotty!!

"The Inn Crowd with Chef Budi Kazali," which will debut at 6:30 p.m. Saturday, is a cooking show peppered with a healthy dose of fun, easy gourmet recipes, breathtaking scenery and magnetic personalities, according to Executive Producer Ira will also be showed on News-Press TV

magnetic personalities....hmmmm well of course the Distenfields love the courts as much a Wendy and they are always suing or being sued by somebody so I don't trust them to carry my souffle..just google the Distenfields and wow....tons of stuff on them and here's just one:

SANTA BARBARA, Calif., July 6 /PRNewswire/ -- Former Los Angeles Port Authority President and former Santa Barbara Police Commissioner Ira Distenfield and his wife, Linda, once a deputy to Los Angeles Mayor Tom Bradley, were sued today in Santa Barbara Superior Court for civil fraud and false representation. The lawsuit, which seeks more than $200,000 in damages, alleges the Distenfields sold the same We The People legal document preparation franchise to two different people in the San Francisco Bay Area. The suit also claims false representation of the Marin County We The People franchise's profitability. Ira Distenfield is currently the national director of franchise development for PRstores, which provide marketing services to local businesses. The lawsuit was filed by attorney John L. Fallat, president of New Millennium Corporation (NMC) in San Rafael, California for "double selling the San Francisco East Bay territory of We The People, which stretches from Emeryville north to Crockett." We the People legal centers provide assistance to the general public in preparation of simple legal documents such as living trusts and wills without use of lawyers. "It turns out the Distenfields sold the same East Bay franchise territory to another person which makes it worthless to NMC," explained Fallat, noting the Marin store he purchased from the Distenfields in 2004 is doing poorly, "despite their promises and profitability projections they supplied."

future guests of the show include Andrew Firestone and Jim Messina....oh wait Messina will be playing the dinner shows at the Ballard Inn, not actually a guest of Budi's...well at least he gets a free meal!

Thursday, February 14, 2013


I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth....
the substitiute
oh shit I got more McCaws I gotta deal with! Craig and Susan... Susan is Wendy's substitute as new wife of Craig McCaw, and they are all together again in the pages of the News-Press! apparently Sue hosted an event for Jersey Guv Chris Christie at the Hanger car club by Tri County Produce....Christie is raising money for his campaign as Jersey gov..but I don't know why, he should win easy..but when word leaks out about him hobnobbin with the weird elite in parallel-California, Jersey folks won't appreciate it...

the newest billionaires in SB like Craig and Wendy are trying to compete with the old guard who helped build Santa Barbara like Charles Stearn who built Stearn's Wharf-
Named for its builder, local lumberman John P. Stearns, the wharf served the passenger and freight shipping needs of California's South Coast for over a quarter century...a working man!

but Craig McCaw is just too flakey and flaunts his money like a stripper...

let's see, politically he's just naive having lost millions to Karl Rove's American Crossroads PAC..he bought Peabody's in Montecito and we'll see how that turns out...

Craig and Wendy love whales and maybe Chris Christie reminds the McCaws of a blubbery little whale! they both worked to free Keiko the whale but instead of freeing him, Craig and Wendy actually killed Keiko!!

Keiko died in Taknes Bay, Norway while under the care of personnel from The Free Willy-Keiko Foundation on December 12, 2003, at about 27 years of age. Pneumonia was later determined as his probable cause of death

says Craig: The orcas swim in space that we don't very well understand and of course in outer space we will face some day the moral dilemma of how to deal with aliens who land on earth, perhaps, if in fact what people believe is true- and we will have the same moral dilemma in exchanging people or creatures back and forth with them for understanding.

What is right and to what degree should it be voluntary or not voluntary or for the good of society, theirs or ours? So we're on the cusp of some very difficult issues that we frankly aren't going to escape very easily. But it's quite clear to us that these are extremely intelligent creatures. That dolphins and killer whales are very much like us only with fins and there is a certain amount of mutual understanding that comes from this exchange.

very much like us only with fins?? what the hell does that mean???

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Timothy Leary's Dead

Along the coast you'll hear them boast
About a light they say that shines so clear.

Governor Moonbeam Rick Perry from Texas (prays for rain, shoots coyotes, wants to secede from the union) has been touring California to poach some business for Texas using a taxpayer funded travel account....Perry seems to be picking up where Ken Lay and Jeff Skilling of ENRON left off...remember those two wonder the relationship between California and Texas has Texas friends need to get rid of Rick Perry once and for all...

Rick has tried this before and while Texas has some great qualities, it can't hold a candle to when Rick Perry ran for president of the United States he got chewed up in the debates because of his slow wit...he made Michele Bachman look smart!!

the old excuse some companies use, when they lose the competitive edge, is that California regulates them too much...Carl's Jr tried that trick and until they changed their operation strategy, they were being beat by other fast food outlets...and look at Chik Fil A..they got a gay regulation and still managed to open on time to booming business..

I will test their chiken meals soon and report because I LOVEM CHICKEM!!

I think part of the regulation issue is so that California doesn't look like Texas..I don't want to step in cow turds every day on the way to the Texas, they enjoy dat kinda thing but not me...Austin Texas is the exception and even they are embarassed by Rick Perry....

and I liked President Lyndon Johnson..he was from Texas and there was Lady there's some Texas tradition...unfortunately Johnson got mired in Vietnam and it killed him...why oh why did we get all worked up over a civil war with a bunch of 3 foot tall communists? I mean who cares....Nixon too was doing some good stuff until he got all paranoid and started being overly concerned with John Lennon...conspiracy theorists were popping outta Nixon's cabinet like termites!

and I saw Peter Lance on Mr. Wimpy's show..Peter didn't mention the Santa Barbara cops once but mentioned himself alot and was trying to sell his books and conspiracy theories about terrorists....Peter will sign a book if you buy one from his website...

well here's my plea to Gov Rick Perry: when you go back to Texas, take Peter Lance with you!

Monday, February 11, 2013

what a difference a day makes

twenty four little hours
Brought the sun and the flowers where there use to be rain

occasionally I get some angry emails but I really don't know I get an email from the Baron's kid telling me what a fat piece of shit I am for writing stuff about his dad...the kid says he's gonna pay me a visit if I'm not dead already..

Hey fat shit about my dad or I again and ill pay u a visit personally unless you're dead already cause u had a heart attack you fat piece of shit..

U ain't shit and when You're dead nobody's gonna remember your blogs you lame.. Who the fuck are u anyway?

you're right kid, I'm nobody..Mr. Nobody

well damn kid, I wish you'd come by last night when I was in the midst of full blown influenza and put me out of my misery...

but what a difference a day makes! so the kid is lacing into me what a fat dork wannabe I am...hey I lost ten pound in the last four days...and have you seen your dad?? he's not exactly Mr.Skinny Tuxedo like Peter Lance!! possible transference going on here for you psyche majors

and then he tells me his Pop is a local radio legend who is still on the radio..well dude he works for Wendy so that really doesn't count.... I did like the Baron when he was with KACY....the Boss of the Beach..

Fucking amateur you think you're known or interesting but let's keep it real fatboy.... You wish You were the Baron..

geez, this dude sounds like my ex-wife!!!

Sunday, February 10, 2013

the big hurt

so it begins, needles and pins

I think maybe it was the jury duty...the room we stayed in that has given me the flu...two days ago I was out chopping cotton but today I can barely move...everything hurts on the body..the eyes, the fingers, the back, the legs the head the lungs...this particular strain of the virus must be from Iran or Irag or Bulgaria..or somewhere

Friday, February 8, 2013

watching the river flow

Oh, this ol' river keeps on rollin', though,
No matter what gets in the way and which way the wind does blow...

last time I looked, rivers flow down's called gravity.. rivers don't flow uphill...and I love rivers and streams..what I don't like is government getting involved in rivers and streams...when that happens you get fish ladders, wars against crawdaddies, and other nonsensical things....

so I get a letter from my mortgage company that I all of a sudden need flood insurance when I never did before...apparently FEMA thinks I'm now in a major flood area...after Katrina and Sandy, FEMA rushed to change maps and made a bunch of mistakes....and now I gotta pay for them!

FEMA is a large festering pus-filled boil and needs to be removed and burned on the pyre...I'm all for government unless it gets in my's in my way

so I need flood insurance until FEMA issues a LOMA (letter of map amendment) which for some unknown reason will take up to 6 months...the City of Carp and County of SB and even FEMA acknowledge the map mistake which puts me in the wrong flood zone, but there's nothing I can do until the LOMA is issued!!

so the mortgage company will buy insurance for me if I don't buy it...and they will use the higher premium...this is the biggest scam I've ever seen...FEMA fucks up and the mortgage company fucks me until they both un-fuck themselves...

I'm working feverishly to beat these suckers but I may be homeless soon....if you see me over by Milpas, say "hello"

Thursday, February 7, 2013

let me call you sweetheart

I am dreaming Dear of you, Day by day Dreaming when the skies are blue

now Judge Brian Hill said I sounded like his wife..Judge, you wanna role-play a little? ok I'll be your wife up to a point pal...I got sooo much to say to you sweetheart!!

had I been allowed to stay on the jury stand I would have answered the lawyers questions about gangs....all three lawyers asked the jurors how they felt about gangs..well here's how I feel about gangs...I rate gangs right up there with drunk drivers, Catholic priests, and the Grand Jury...think about it.... without these groups you could get from point A to point B without gettting run over, molested, beat up, or fleeced!

at great expense to the taxpayer the SB cop cars will be fitted with cameras thanks to the Grand Jury and Peter Lance..the Grand Jury fell for Lance's claim that he wasn't drunk on New Year's Eve in 2011 and cop cameras would have proven it....well I covered that Lance hearing and his case was dismissed because Judge

Brian Hill, who just dismissed me from the jury, said Lance could stop at a green light for up to 30 seconds and it should not concern the cops, so the cop made an illegal stop on New Year's Eve after Lance admitted he was drinking!

that's why I won't serve on a jury with Brian Hill as the judge.. I can't follow his reasoning or his orders or admonitions because most of the time, he's wrong...

now what happens when motorcycle cop stops a drunk driver? are the cycles gonna have cameras too?

hey maybe I could ask the Grand Jury to put cameras in Mail trucks to make sure the postman isn't stealing my mail... yeah, that's a good idea!

what is happening here is the city and Grand Jury have caved to the demands of drunks!!! I'm certain at least a few Grand Jury members like a "Rusty Nail" every now and then..and we've already seen that Lance is a liar and Genis his DUI lawyer is a loser..why would the Grand Jury listen ot a couple of losers? why?? because they are idiots!

and the Mayor and everyone on the council who supported this should be horsewhipped for this rash decision...

so why wasn't I picked for the Jodi Arias murder trial? damn that girl is sexy...

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

stone free

to do what I want...

ok's noon on Wedneseday and I'm home...I put on some Hendrix and relax..oh I was at the jury room this morning at 9:30 am sharp..but we didn't get going till about 10:00 surprise there...I feel for all the folks who have to go thru the voir dire's not a bad process per se but needs serious four days I met some really nice folks...

but the lawyers and the judge seem to be in their own little world...perhaps my testimony can stir them up a bit...

anyway I get there and decide to park on Garden St in the Jury Parking lot! this way I avoid a ticket...

so we're all sitting in the room and Judge Brian Hill says one of the defense lawyers of one of the gangbangers may leave the case due to family issues..that may delay the trial another few days and the substitute lawyer was present to pick up the case when needed..ok that happens when trials are strung out too long..remember I said I believe in the right to speedy trial...the Santa Barbara Court system needs to embrace this concept...

so we pick up where we  left off from Monday's session...some jurors were dismissed and new ones called up...everyone was very polite and answered the questions as best they could..
as I've said, some of the questions were just lame and that infuriated me...but I kept that rage harnessed until they call my name..and they finally 11:15..
I walk up and sit down in the jury box...Hill says "Good Morning"...I replied in a sarcastic tone "Hiya Judge!"

I gave my name, occupation etc and then Judge Hill started with the questions...he asks me if I know anything about the case...I said's been in the papers and local media for two years..then Hill asks if I know anything about the case that I haven't learned from him..
my response rather forcefully was : I haven't learned a thing from you!!

whoa..that got some big laughs..the rafters shook...tears were falling down my fellow jurors faces...Hill looked surprised  and says "wow you sound like my wife!!"
he then asks if there's anything about the case that would not make me an impartial juror...I told him I have a bunch of issues and that I'd be a lousy juror....but I don't think Hill wanted to hear them..maybe he remembered me from the Peter Lance fiasco/hearing

then Hill looks at the lawyers and they all say they don't want me on the jury so I was dismissed!!  AWESOME!!
I quicky left the room and before I reach the exit one chick touches my arm and says "Good Job"!

that was one hell of a voir dire!

the dead pool

well if I can't bag one of these babes from the jury pool then I might as well pack it in....

even though I complain about this process, the perfume in the hostage room is driving me insane...sitting so close to some well-bred uppity white women is really a dream come true...normally they would look right through me but now they have no choice but to deal with me..and oh will they ever!!

so I do get paid for this you know..I get 34 cents a mile and 15 dollah a day for my trouble..but don't worry, with the parking ticket I got on Monday, I give the taxpayers their money right it all works out in the end..

and that is what we all should take away from this....

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

catch a falling star

and put it in your pocket, save it for a rainy day

that's an old song by the awesome crooner Perry Como and it saved my life 3 of Voir Dire... I was held hostage by Judge Brian Hill and the Santa Barbara Superior court...held in a room without windows....held with about 50 of other hostages sitting through the most boring process ever invented by the white man....voir dire.. voir fucking dire..the judge explained to us over and over and over what the case is....ok I got it... a murder case!!

we got a morning break but couldn't leave the building for security reasons and at the exit was an armed guard..I tried to leave but he wouldn't let me...I glanced over at the long line in front of the rest rooms and shouted at the guard.."what am I supposed to do, piss on the floor??"

I walked away, shaking with anger and fearful that my bladder would burst....I sat down in the waiting room and the tune came into my head...catch a falling star and put it in your pocket.....I sang it silently to myself and started to calm down and then the line in front of the head disappeared!! I went in and took a really long piss... I could easily have filled the Dolphin Fountain at Stearn's Wharf...

so we all go back into the hostage room and sit down..this time they will ask us questions...they picked 12 names by random and I was not called goddammit!! so the 12 sit down in the jury box and answer five stock questions like name, marital status, ever sit on a jury etc..then Judge Hill asks questions...trying to detemine if any bias exists in the prospective jurors...he dismisses a few lucky folks but then the questions continue...catch a falling star and put it in your pocket...

as I listened in my mind to Perry Como, it was time for a lunch break...1.5 hours so I go back home to Carp and start some laundry..then I return to the court house..

it's 1:45pm and I'm in the hostage room only this time there'a about 120 folks there..some had to sit on the floor...Judge Hill looked around the room and seemed clueless as to our was about 75 degrees inside, the AC didn't work right...then Judge Hill repeats everything he told us in the morning for the benefit of the newcomers!! catch a falling star and put it in your pocket....then finally Hill sees there's too many people in the room and sends 30 folks home to return Thursday...good because I was about to call the Fire Marshall for a fire code violation at Superior Court....

ok so we're back to the questioning and after Hill is done the lawyers do the same thing!! axe the same type questions...long boring questions....repetitive you believe in due process? do you hate gangs? do you think all gang members are violent?

what the lawyers didn't ask is do we believe in the right to a speedy trial because it appears that they do not...oh I certainly do and I'll ask them about it on Wednesday when I return....

catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, save it for a rainy day....

Monday, February 4, 2013

fool for peace

jumping out of closets, scaring people in Iraq

ok so I'm reading the Sunday News-Press and they have an article on the SB City Council race and the prospective candidates..I can relate to that because I'm a prospective juror!!

Grant House will be termed out so some other guys are ready to run....and I see this guy Jason Nelson and he looks very familiar..and weird like he wears make-up...maybe he was a Boy Scout leader??

anyway he writes a war propaganda column for the News-Press! now why would this chickenhawk be running for city council I wondered out loud...the NP article says his friends and neighbors told him people would like him to run... sounds like a prima Mike Stoker..or Tom Watson!! run for any office because you think the current people are messing things up and only you can fix it..that's why you run for office, not because someone asks you!!! geez

Santa Barbara is not Afghanistan?? wow, I didn't know that!!

now, the war on terror was started after we got hit on 9/11 on Bush's watch...since then we've invaded Iraq and Afghanistan..ill conceived debt inducing wars fighting poor tribal men and scaring women and children

anyone who writes stories about the wars we get into needs to provide the truth, not some rosy feel good bullshit about how great America is for killing all these tribal miscreants..or all these tribal children...our reckless invasions have been a total disgust to don't build nations by bombing children

now the citizens of Santa Barbara should never elect anyone associated with the News-Press..Jason is listed as a "civil affairs specialist/Army other words a bureaucrat who stays away from combat!! but he gets all the perks likehousing, medical, food, special pay, and vacation time and he can earn full-tuition, merit-based scholarships, allowances for books and fees, plus an annual stipend for living expenses!! GO ARMY!!!

but what a hypocrite Nelson is... writing for Wendy whose stated goal is to steal from the public workers, many of whom were military folks!!
now listen to me boy, the war on terror died with the killing of Bin Laden under Obama's watch....any efforts now should be by American Special Forces who can get the job done and monitor all terror activity...all other troops and ambassadors where we are not welcome should leave...

recently Jason Nelson's column has been replaced with Focus on the Family! (see Rent-a-Male)..

well... anyone dumb enough to write a column for the News-Press and then run for city council must be seriously outta touch with's time for some voir dire pal

Sunday, February 3, 2013

too far gone

pieces of the sky

all I'm trying to do is make sense of the world but when I heard that Emmylou Harris got busted for a does one make sense of that???

now we know from experience that the extreme, radical fringe of the rightwingers, like Wendy and Nipper often blame employee unions for everything bad..the economy, pedophile teachers, California cities going bankrupt and so on....

of course this is fiction as reports of the real reasons for cities going bankrupt come to light...and with the Boy Scouts and the Catholic Church in the news for their secrecy surrounding child sexual abuse in their ranks, well, it's kinda obvious that the sicko rightwingers seek to divert attention from their own transgressions..from their own inability to accept personal responsibility..

this is why Emmylou's hit-n-run upset me so...responsible people don't hit-n-run! I'm certain she has a reasonable explanation and I await patiently for it...

meanwhile, the nonprofit Boy Scouts and Catholic Church have no reasonable explanations for raping children..there is no reasonable explanation for raping kids..none..whatsoever...and the kids who were abused years ago are adults now and coming forward, very bravely, to expose the people who were interested in children, not to guide and protect them, but to sexually abuse them...what punishment should be dealt to those who abused and who protected the abusers?? I'm certain a suitable reward awaits them in Heaven...

now as far as city employees bankrupting municipalities with all their union demands, it's just rightwing nonsense...a few cities filed for bankruptcy due to mismangement and buying sprees and to try to bust the unions..not because of employee contracts...

but the courts recently ruled in favor of public employees in Stockton:

SACRAMENTO, CA – The California Public Employees’ Retirement System (CalPERS) issued the following statement today after U.S. Bankruptcy Judge Christopher Klein ruled from the bench that the City of Stockton does not need permission from the bankruptcy court to settle and pay its disputed claims.

"CalPERS is extremely pleased with Judge Klein’s ruling today," said Robert Udall Glazier, Deputy Executive Officer for External Affairs. "The Judge clearly distinguished Chapter 9 municipal bankruptcy proceedings from other bankruptcy proceedings."

"Contrary to what the bond insurers argued, the Judge recognized that Section 904 of the Bankruptcy Code places limitations on the powers of the bankruptcy court over public entities like Stockton. This is a victory for Stockton as it continues to make the difficult decisions needed to restore its financial and economic health.

"CalPERS applauds the decision, which would allow the elected leaders in Stockton to continue to make the smart business decisions needed to protect its citizens and the valued public employees who serve them every day," added Glazier.

CalPERS had filed a brief with the court in support of the City of Stockton, while bond insurers had opposed Stockton’s efforts and instead tried to force the City to obtain bankruptcy court approval of all claims before they could be paid. The creditors were effectively seeking court intervention in the routine operating activities of the City.

CalPERS is the largest public pension fund in the U.S. with assets totaling $251 billion. It administers retirement benefits for more than 1.6 million California State, local government, and public school employees, retirees, and their families on behalf of more than 3,000 public employers, and health benefits for more than 1.3 million enrollees. The average CalPERS pension benefit is $2,420 per month. The average benefit for those who retired in the most recent fiscal year that ended June 30, 2012, is $3,025 per month.

what's this all mean? it means that investors and bond insurers who argued they should get paid first lose....these are sophisticated Wall Street investors who took a risk and it didn't quite pay they want to recoup their investment..but the court ruled the public employees who invested their lives in public service will continue to get paid as per the contracts...and the city can't hide behind a phony bankruptcy

personal responsibility...some folks just can't accept it!

Saturday, February 2, 2013

tea for two

and two for tea....

I was thinking about that guy in Alabama who killed a school bus driver (gov't worker) kidnapped a kid, and is now holed up in his bunker...the guy is the epitome of a paranoid teabagger....and we have a few in Santa Barbara

well it looks like the Tea Party is still alive in Santa Barbara.. alive and barely kicking.....but I was watching the SB Channel and host Tom Watson was talking to the Tea Party president Stephan watching Tom Watson talk himself in circles is pretty funny and the Teabagger dude could barely get a word in edgewise, but between the two of them it's safe to say the tea is out of the bag...the Tea Party is still a nonprofit and they want you to donate..and the website is crazy...

Sacramento Rally to Support 2nd Amendment

Should you be in the vicinity of Sacramento Saturday, attend the Guns Across America rally in the steps of the Capital Building. Click the image above for more details. We are in a real war – attend if you can!

If you cannot – please go to your local gun shop and do a "Chick-fil-A" in support of your local gun store and in support of the 2nd amendment!

and there was gun talk and Watson is afraid the gov't will take all his guns away...a right protected by the 2nd Amendment..then they asked themselves why they weren't allowed to have rocket launchers

oh can guys go through their whole lives being so stupid I wonder....maybe I should ask them because there's a gathering at Fess Parker's where the Tea Party will host an event on the dangers of the Muslim Brotherhood and Egypt on Saturday...Thomas says once the public is educated by the Tea Party, the Republicans will win more elections...he encourages you to get involved and run for office or school board and Watson chimes in it is a burden to run for office and work for gov't, but it needs to be done...a burden? it's an honor to work for the gov't....and Watson's curious attitude doesn't gel with his supposed Navy service...I'll look into that later..he doesn't sound like an officer at all....more like a spoiled brat...

Muslim Brotherhood:
The Threat to Western Civilization
February 2, 2013

The Santa Barbara Tea Party Critical Issue Series Presents:

What you need to know about the greatest threat to America

The message of the Muslim Brotherhood in their logo is clear. The swords, traditional weapons, reinforce the group’s militancy and commitment to jihad. The Quran denotes the group’s spiritual foundation. Beneath the swords in Arabic is "Be prepared", a reference to the Quranic verse that talks of preparing to fight the enemies of Allah. Their motto is equally chilling…"Allah is our objective. The Quran is our Constitution. The Prophet is our leader. Jihad is our way. Death in the service of Allah is our highest hope."

What you will learn:
Muslim Brotherhood’s plan to defeat America revealed in documents used as evidence in a U.S. Government trial.

Recent events in Egypt were predictable and stand as a warning to Western nations.
The MB’s history of supporting violence and terrorism.
The shocking success of "cultural jihad" waged by MB front groups in America.
"Democracy" under Islam differs radically with Western views.
How to share this warning with your friends and neighbors

Don’t miss this important and timely briefing detailing the "Defining Issue of our time."

Fess Parker’s Double Tree Resort

Date: Saturday, February 2nd

5:30 PM Mix & Mingle, 6:00 PM Program Start

I checked out the new Tea Party site and it is weird indeed- here's some entries from teabaggers:

Bejamin posted

TOP PREDICTIONS FOR 2013 and Beyond:

1. The Bible will still have all the answers.

2. Prayer will still be the most powerful thing on Earth..
3. The Holy Spirit will still move..

4. God will still honor the praises of His people.

5. There will still be God-anointed preaching.

Benjamin posted

My friends, do not be surprised at the terrible trouble which now comes to test you. Do not think that something strange is happening to you. But be happy that you are sharing in Christ’s return...

guns bibles and doomsday bunkers?? I'm more concerned about Christians in America than the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt

Friday, February 1, 2013

East of Eden

And it occurs to me that evil must constantly respawn, while good, while virtue, is immortal.

well I see that the Botanic Garden has been brainwashing people into the native-only cult and rebranding them as 'citizen scientists"...they will go about the land and preach about the gospel of native plants and the evils of non-native plants..yes it's the old dichotomy of good vs evil...stamp out the devil plants and replace them with biblical nice

that led me to see what kinda plants God liked...actually there's lots of non-native plants in the bible and in the Garden of Eden...Adam and Eve...and actually I'm interested in the little thong plant that Eve was wearing...was that native or invasive I wonder?? I think Eve had Cape Ivy covering her booty

most pests are not pests..people in their grand stupidity have labeled millions of things pests and have come up with schemes to get rid of them..they spread poison on the landscapes to get rid of the offensive pest without thinking about the consequences....poisoning the flowers kills bees and other valuable insects....P-O-L-L-I-N-A-T-I-O-N is what they do and they can't pollinate if you poison them

see this bee on a fennel plant? he's a cool bee and should be left alone but he won't be left alone...pretty soon some jerks will mow down the fenel for being "invasive"...they will chop it, they will poson it, they will spray it with chemicals to kill it..and all the insects that benefit from the fennel..that's the bad news but the good news is the fennel adjusts and grows back in the spring even stronger....and I always welcome Spring with the wonderful aroma of a sprig of fennel from the think these people are trying to destroy that pisses me off....

any "restoration" of a habitat that destroys an established habitat for other creatures should be a crime...