Sunday, January 24, 2010

Rainy Day Women...

the first annual Wendy Pee McCaw Roundtable discussion at the Reagan Ranch Center!

after the N-conservatives got thumped last year, they think they are on the comeback trail..the trail is paved with gold as is the road to hell and is financed by Wendy's divorce money and Rupert Pee Murdoch's tabloid money! Micheal "Whitey" Steele, head of the RNC is on a tour to promote his book and sound the charge for the Republicans come back and he stopped to give us his little pep talk...I went disguised as a wealthy conservative and in honor of Wendy Pee had a portable urinal, X-large, attached to my leg...I didn't want to miss a thing and what with all the rain, who's gonna notice?
Now the real problem with this scenerio is the N-conservatives depend on big money donors instead of working for a living to attend al these social functions..this serves as a control apparatus for the donor like Wendy Pee McCaw who owns the Reagan Ranch Center building and I guess rents it to the Young Republicans, who still live at home with their mommies and daddies, go to private schools and wear coats and ties...
and they point to Massachusetts as the turning point against Obama politics, but it is not at all..New Englanders are just fed up with the Kennedys!
Now, the state that demands attention is Minnesota. the two Democrat senators are Al Franken and Amy Klobuchar. Amy will explain the health care situation better than anyone in America..listen to her
There are eight districts with various right and left winger reps, but the standout looney is the lovely Michele Bachman, who fears for her candidacy and wants FOX NEWS to help her out! She already has quitter Sarah Palin to stump for her in this is a great opportunity to see if Minnesota will go for the Fargo girls or send them looking for real jobs...
The 6th District wraps around the northern half of the Twin Cities and stretches west past St. Cloud. Its voters have tended to support Republicans, but not always; they helped put former professional wrestler Jesse Ventura in the governor's office a decade ago and backed Democrat Amy Klobuchar for Senate in 2006.A partial list of who is responsible for nations ills according to Bachmann, gays, unions, socialists (democrats), blacks, immigrants, terrorists, abortion doctors, poor people, blah blah blah. Neocons have done much to harm California and this country and now they are working feverishly to shift blame from Wall Street, Enron, crooks like Darryl Issa and Arnold to the working class..some easily-led folks are falling for it but we can't afford to have the rich dictate the rules anymore..if we haven't learned that from the Bush years, maybe collectively we're too stupid to do anything about it...locally, you know the righties have run out of ideas when they want trustfunder oldster Brooks Firestone to run against Lois Capps..Brooksie's tenure on the Board of Supes was more comical than anything else..promoting Mike Brown when he should have been fired is one example...the rightwing members of the board just don't get it! greed needs to be regulated!!!
as for Obama, he needs to stop handing the N-cons so much material from Van Jones to Acorn...and start having some fun with the Fargo girls....

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

neighborhood voyeur...

I'll be watching you...
I've started my own neighhood watch program..I'm on the lookout for scoundrels who come into my hood and douchebag it up with your tax money! I've been watching Caltrans' insane exercise to manicure the road sides from Padaro Lane to Santa Claus Lane to Reynolds Ave by the Salt far they have cut down ten trees and killed by poisoning ice plant in various locations...I like the ice plant at the Padaro off's a very soothing plume of green and a good erosion control species despite what any slutty restoration biologist says..I enjoy trees..I'm a tree hugger and when I see Caltrans cut them down for NO REASON I become I axed Mother Nature to send a little message to Caltrans and she promptly dropped a pine tree so close to a Caltrans official it almost killed him.. KARMA DUDE...this was during the fantastic storm anyway Caltrans has contracted with a landscape company at a cost of 1.5 million dollars to spiff up the road and remove "invasive" iceplant that they planted years ago!!! I thought California was broke! Now look need to focus on keeping the highways drivable..there are many holes in the road to Ventura that need to be repaired and you're here killing iceplant and chopping down trees..what are you..fucking idiots?? and remove that pile of junk on Santa Claus're messing up my neighborhood!! jackasses!!

Big Brown Monster
Next on the agenda is the 8th Street bridge project...the creek and the old white wooden bridge have been was a beautiful and peaceful little place but they ripped out plants, leveled the banks and installed this brown monster arched thing which is a tad over-engineered...I paid for this with my taxes?? I can't believe the city paid over one million dollars to destroy this area, all because they were afraid the old bridge was dangerous and didn't want any by fear is not a sound policy...but, it's too late baby now it's too late...

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Top Hat of the Peanut Man...

a pot of gold and a silver lining..
back in the 1970s Mother Nature was on the run and so was I ...I lived in Ventura on Poli St in an old three story apartment building with fantastic views..but it was a dump..and I loved it. Drunks lived there and they'd stop in and tell me their troubles..I'd hear them moaning and crying all night..I was singing and playing guitar in restaurants and bars like the Founders and the Bandar...the old Country and Western place bulldozed in 2002..I had long hair and the old western redneck guys would look at me like I was a freak until I started playing songs they liked, then we were all cool and they were actually really nice guys once I got to know them..but boy they liked to drink alot! and the girls..ahh the girls!! oh..they were so damn friendly! Frank Sinatra would have been proud of me!
Ventura was pretty cool back then...kinda run down but man we had fun. I remember the donut place off Main and the Top Hat hamburger joint as two places I went for something quick to eat..the Top Hat is a tiny building on the corner of E.Main and Palm streets and over the years became an unofficial landmark where they still shout out your is a look at a simpler time..
fast forward to 2010 and the Top Hat folks were served an eviction notice from the property owners, who live in Carpinteria, name-a Watlings...the Watlings tried to raise the rent from $1800 to $5000 per this is what ticks me off..I have no sympathy for people who buy property in an historic district (usually at deflated prices) and then cry about property rights when people want to save the buildings! if you don't respect the history of a town, then don't do business there! WATLING!! YOU HEAR ME?? Try that in Carpinteria and see what happens! You are a disgrace, boy!! Get off your ass and save the Top Hat!!
It is clear that the Top Hat is the hub of this part of the city! Ventura is still a cool and friendly place, even the dogs are more fun here....a hodgepodge of styles and businesses and people makes for a fun day.
E Main Street at Poli by City Hall is a step back in time...most of the stores were full of shoppers, working class families, bikers, punks normal folks..all blended in quite well together...lots of Thrift stores and excellent restaurants..a bustling main drag...Santa Barbara could learn a thing or two from can't cater only to rich people..and if you keep quadrupling rents, you will lose in the long run...small businesses need fair rent and tax breaks, not is clear the little hamburger joint run by three generations of the same family means a great deal to many people...the saving grace is that it is located in an historic district and property development will be the Top Hat..long may you run!

Friday, January 15, 2010

Montecito Gawk...

Meet Moron Montecito Fire Chief Wallace who says "cut down the big beautiful eucs on East Valley!"
I say NO WAY...these are landmark trees and there's nothing wrong with them!! Well, seven will be gone soon, the rest I will protect with my sword..the Sword of Damocles will hang over your head, Wallace!
"Does not Dionysius seem to have made it sufficiently clear that there can be nothing happy for the person over whom some fear always looms?"
Listen Wallace, you sapheaded lunk mutt goofy looking buck-toothed shit-fer-brains cretin , stick to fighting fires, fundraising or whatever the fuck else you do and leave these trees alone! Why don't you investigate the possible real reason for the Tea Fire.. was Westmont college holding an open house and encouraging prospective students to "hike the hills" on that day..and was there a big money donor who suddenly pulled her support for the should check it out instead of cutting down trees in Montecito!!
When I read this in the Montecito Journal, I couldn't believe my eyes... Chief Moron Wallace told homeowners to maintain the trees or cut them down..the owners cut them down due to fire fears!! What a bunch of jackasses! These majestic trees have stood for years welcoming hawks and owls and butterflies and me as I drive the back roads, and now some asswipe from the Montecito fire district says we should fear them! If anything they would provide a fire doubt Wallace was spreading misinformation about eucalyptus burning quicker than other trees..well, if you go up to Mountain Drive and check the Tea Fire aftermath on Coyote Rd, the eucs are the ones still other words, it's all a bunch of bullshit these officials feed to gullible homeowners in, the rest of the eucs on Highway 192 by Birnam Wood are still standing, and we need to stop this nitwit Wallace from cutting anymore down! and the homeowners who listened to him are to blame, too... they should have just trimmed them!! and Caltrans should not have issued the permit since these trees are home to protected species!! GODDAMMIT!!!
Montecitans should be outraged instead of afraid!
maybe I should start an Earth First type militant eco underground and start dealing with these scumbags who suffer from speciesism..or something..
Speciesism is the assigning of different values or rights to beings on the basis of their species membership. The term was created by British psychologist Richard D. Ryder in 1973 to denote a prejudice against non-humans based on morally irrelevant physical differences. "I use the word 'speciesism'," he wrote in 1975, "to describe the widespread discrimination that is practised by man against other species ... Speciesism is racism, and both overlook or underestimate the similarities between the discriminator and those discriminated against."
Now, leave the rest of the trees alone or my scimitar will fall..and swiftly!!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

all you need is hate...

hate, hate, hate is all you need!
Mayor (Helene, you're the mayor now, mesmerize with a bit more cleavage please! and excellent job on your first day as mayor) and new old council members sworn in..speeches made, Mike (Miss Piggy) Self and Frank (Naked Gun) Hotchkiss couldn't figure out how to turn their microphones on..duh! this damn new technology must have them confused so I'll help out..
how microphones work: A microphone begins with a metal diaphragm that bends back and forth when it is struck by sound waves. When it bends in, it is called compression. When it bends out it is called rarefaction. The metal diaphragm is negatively charged from the battery (or power source), while the fixed plate (situated close to the diaphragm) is positively charged. When the sound wave creates compression, electrons jump from the diaphragm to the fixed plate. This causes a positive signal to be sent from the microphone.
When there is no sound, the diaphragm is flat. At this point its negatively charge exactly balances the positive charge of the fixed plate. When rarefaction (not really a rare occurance) takes place, the negatively charged metal diaphragm moves away from the fixed plate. Then the negative electrons in the diaphragm repel each other and the flow out of the diaphragm, causing an opposite flow of electrons from the flow that occurs in compression.
These signals are exactly in phase and amplitude to the sound waves hitting the diaphragm. They are usually sent to an amplifier for further processing.
now, none of this means anything unless you TURN THE MICROPHONE SWITCH "ON" DUMB ASSES..geez, this is gonna be a long hot and hate-filled political season if these two can't keep up with the youngsters!
if you can't be with the one you hate, hate the one you're with...

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Kathy's Clown...

Kathy Griffin was banned by censors at CNN for dropping the F- bomb on New Years Eve!
here's my tribute to the brilliant comedienne






Monday, January 4, 2010

the year of begging continuously..

aside from a handful of respectable nonprofits that actually do some real good, most of them just steal your money to enrich themselves ..
and it's hard to start a good charity as Clare tells us: dailynexus
geez, looking back on 2009 I can see it was the year of the non-profit scam...I got an email that said check this website out, so I did. Holy off-shore account Batman..China doesn't own the USA, nonprofits do!
In Santa Barbara alone! 5 billion in tax exempt assets!!
Location Santa Barbara County CA (California) Number of Organizations in this County 3,000 Total Income Amount from Tax Exempt/NonProfit Organizations in this County $3,549,111,784 Total Asset Amount of Tax Exempt/NonProfit Organizations in this County $5,405,835,518 Number of Zip Codes in this County 41...
so who are the folks behind these scams? some of them were highlighted in the News-Press on Sunday! Lemme see, there's Wendy, and Hilary..and Wayne and Towbes and me, these are puke inducing names..oh, I forgot fat pastor Rick Warren who got 2 million dollars after begging his flock to send him some cash on New Year's Eve...I mean, what has happened to this state?? Is everyone on stupid pills?
there's Wendy and Hilary and Wayne giving each other awards.. Hilary and Heal the Ocean want your money and want to keep seals away from the Carp Bluffs haul out sanctuary because they attract sharks; they also want to tell you that the ocean is so polluted only they can heal it..if you check your water science, you'll see she's a little whacky....the biggest threat to the ocean is litter/plastics and the proliferation of dogs at the beach..that's where the sampling takes place, where the dogs and shorebirds hang out!
then there's Wayne, head of the Humane Society..what a hypocrite this guy is who reacted this way when a leader of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals killed her dog by locking it in a hot car for hours: "well, we all make mistakes" ... and there's Wendy..ahh Wendy..yes, the biggest con artist of them all..I got one question for you Wendy..why did I get a brown paper grocery bag with my Sunday News-Press?? WTF is up wid dat?? I'm very, very, very, very disappointed in you Wendy...very very disappointed...
and the Towbes and Ridley -Tree types are always in front of a camera promoting themselves and non-profits...philanthropist is synonymous with con artist nowadays??
these folks collectively are sitting on billions of tax exempt money..and they always beg for more.. if we could cut the nonprofts in half and channel that money back to gov't we could fix roads and bridges, and create jobs instead of cutting down all the trees..too many nonprofits and too many crooks in the kitchen spoil the soup...

Saturday, January 2, 2010

choke my monkeybot...

a message from Wendybot...

Walt Disney froze his body after he died; Ted Williams froze his body, too. Wendy McCuckoo has spent her millions (down from billions) while alive on a robot in the spittin' image of her own bones! That's all I could conclude after reading the passionless greeting on the front page of the New Year's News-Press, with the same old photo from her website, pre-Wendybot, I think. She even quoted Carly Simon's ketchup song..."these are the good old days!"
I think Wendy had a bad childhood which is why she had Wendybot write the greeting, which was all bullshit. I think Wendy needs to loosen up a little and what she should have done is had the words to the Clapping Song by Shirley Ellis on the front page..see if you agree:
Dear Readers: 
Three, six, nine The goose drank wine The monkey chewed tobacco On the streetcar line The line broke The monkey got choked And they all went to Heaven In a little row boat Clap, pat, clap, pat Clap, pat, clap, slap Clap, pat, clap your hand Pat it on your partners hand Right hand, clap, pat Clap your hand cross it With your left arm Pat your partners left palm Cap, pat, clap your hand Pat your partners right palm With your right palm again Clap, slap Slap your hands, slap your thigh And sing a little song, go My mother told me If I was goody That she would buy me A rubber dolly My auntie told her I kissed a soldier Now she won't buy me A rubber dolly Three, six, nine The goose drank wine The monkey chewed tobacco On the streetcar line The line broke The monkey got choked And they all went to Heaven In a little row boat
....yes, that makes more sense!!
Nipper blames low activity at on "lurkers" ie people who read but don't post...geez Nipper, what do you call NewsPress readers who don't write letters to the editor... stalkers?? Lurker … LURK implies a lying in
wait in a place of concealment and often suggests an evil intent, e.g., suspicious men lurking in alleyways.
a poster called Whiner asks if Nippers table talk forum is dead..
Whiner: RIP?
SB Bulldog:Not really. I know that there are lurkers galore. Part of the problem is that there really isn't a tremendous amount of change in our local dining scene.
OTOH, many Nipperites travel and have tales to tell.
OK, it's a new year. Let's resolve!
Nipper:Administrator You are right Bulldog - there are a lot of lurkers that are out there who read these pages (we get the traffic reports) -- but we need them to write their opinions too. Then again maybe Table Talk has evolved to an open blog for the local food leaders in town like you, Foodsnob, Christine, etc...
In any case I wish you all a delicious 2010 and look forward to reading your words in the year ahead!
ie: dead as a doornail!

Friday, January 1, 2010 I come

the New Year greeted me with glorious light and colors like last year, sunrises that were a gift from God herself...
May peace fill all the empty spaces around you
And in you, may contentment answer all your wishes.
May comfort be yours, warm and soft like a sigh.
And may the coming year
show you that every day is really a first day,
a new year.
Let abundance be your constant companion,
so that you have much to share.
May mirth be near you always,
like a lamp shining brightly on the many paths you travel.
May you be true love.
rise and shine mutha fuckers!!!!