Saturday, January 2, 2010

choke my monkeybot...

a message from Wendybot...

Walt Disney froze his body after he died; Ted Williams froze his body, too. Wendy McCuckoo has spent her millions (down from billions) while alive on a robot in the spittin' image of her own bones! That's all I could conclude after reading the passionless greeting on the front page of the New Year's News-Press, with the same old photo from her website, pre-Wendybot, I think. She even quoted Carly Simon's ketchup song..."these are the good old days!"
I think Wendy had a bad childhood which is why she had Wendybot write the greeting, which was all bullshit. I think Wendy needs to loosen up a little and what she should have done is had the words to the Clapping Song by Shirley Ellis on the front page..see if you agree:
Dear Readers: 
Three, six, nine The goose drank wine The monkey chewed tobacco On the streetcar line The line broke The monkey got choked And they all went to Heaven In a little row boat Clap, pat, clap, pat Clap, pat, clap, slap Clap, pat, clap your hand Pat it on your partners hand Right hand, clap, pat Clap your hand cross it With your left arm Pat your partners left palm Cap, pat, clap your hand Pat your partners right palm With your right palm again Clap, slap Slap your hands, slap your thigh And sing a little song, go My mother told me If I was goody That she would buy me A rubber dolly My auntie told her I kissed a soldier Now she won't buy me A rubber dolly Three, six, nine The goose drank wine The monkey chewed tobacco On the streetcar line The line broke The monkey got choked And they all went to Heaven In a little row boat
....yes, that makes more sense!!
Nipper blames low activity at Nippers.com on "lurkers" ie people who read but don't post...geez Nipper, what do you call NewsPress readers who don't write letters to the editor... stalkers?? Lurker … LURK implies a lying in
wait in a place of concealment and often suggests an evil intent, e.g., suspicious men lurking in alleyways.
a poster called Whiner asks if Nippers table talk forum is dead..
Whiner: RIP?
SB Bulldog:Not really. I know that there are lurkers galore. Part of the problem is that there really isn't a tremendous amount of change in our local dining scene.
OTOH, many Nipperites travel and have tales to tell.
OK, it's a new year. Let's resolve!
Nipper:Administrator You are right Bulldog - there are a lot of lurkers that are out there who read these pages (we get the traffic reports) -- but we need them to write their opinions too. Then again maybe Table Talk has evolved to an open blog for the local food leaders in town like you, Foodsnob, Christine, etc...
In any case I wish you all a delicious 2010 and look forward to reading your words in the year ahead!
ie: dead as a doornail!

3 comments:

Sreppin said...

I don't know. The claping song? With the "mommy" who would buy the rubber dolly...good song for perhaps a baron. Clap, slap, pat, spank you naughty dolly.

Christine is an unfeeling and self center odd poster. Doesn't even have a clue about her self involvement. Might even be McCukoo herself. Why else would anyone contribute to nippers blog. And when Christine is not blogging, she is a lurker/stalker.

Dead as a doornail is right or dead as the NewsPress.

Mick Von Caw said...

I rather enjoyed Christine! she's the only one who read Nipper the riot act about Travis and the decline of the paper..a straight shooting conservative instead of all the yes people at Nippers...

Redheads Rule said...

I like Christine's posts. She usually knows what she's talking about. Is she a redhead?