Sunday, December 31, 2017

Lady d'Arbanville

My lady d'Arbanville, why do you sleep so still? / I'll wake you tomorrow / And you will be my fill, yes, you will

I had to see how far the fire burned into Montecito Proper..I say proper because Montecito is so prim and proper now..can't tell where the prim begins and the proper ends..

so I started at Our Lady of Mount Carmel chuch at Hot Springs Road...went up to E Mountain Drive and over to San Ysidro Ranch and yes the hills were burnt offerings...esp in the big range behind the foothills.. you can see how close the fire came to the houses...but the city was ok

now I heard stories that if a  fire hit the Montecito hills, the big eucalyptus trees would all ↻catch fire↻, explode and burn down the village and houses and kill all the I went over to where the big eucs reside..Park Lane and East Valley Road by Birnam Wood Country Club...Park Lane is lined with eucalyptus and they all are standing proud as well as the East Valley eucs..all  unscathed by the biggest fire in California history and 60mph winds in the Montecito hills

Park Lane

so much for the theory that eucs burn more than any other tree because they are non-native...these trees were planted years ago as a fire break and wind break so gimme a break

simply put: if you are afraid of eucalyptus trees, you haven't gotten laid enough

Thursday, December 28, 2017

Fakin' It

not really makin' it

sometimes I miss things so I depend on the fake news media to keep me up to they are not really fake but as real and truthful as a fake can be, like Wendy and Nipper

but anyway, the Independent had a story on the News-Press Christmas Day edition...on page three was a story about downtown shopping and the byline was "Paul Gayzalez-News-Press Faggoat"

so I got my old paper out and there it was!! how did that make it to print unless City Editor Scott Steepleton was busy jerkin' off Don in the Men's room....

geez Wendy and Nipper..while the firefighters are busting ass putting out the Thomas Fire, you guys are putting out a useless newspaper not worthy of the paper it's printed on


I'm just so ashamed of you...sell the News-Press to a responsible adult

Beggar's Farm

You're taking chances, and your reputation's going down...

so I took a survey about marijuana on the City of Carpinteria website..told them to make it hard for the pot industry to make money and to stop calling pot use "recreational"

Patrick Carty mugshot

then I see a story on Noozhawk and Ventura County Star about a couple from Ventura busted for burglarizing a Carp pot farm...

the guy's name is Patrick Carty and he looks eerily similar to Gregg Carty, who sits on the Carp City Council and was mayor for awhile

Gregg Carty/City Council

I don't know if they are brothers, but Holy Jesus, now I gotta worry about the relatives of city officials increasing the crime in Carpinteria!!!???

or maybe it's just recreation??

Monday, December 25, 2017

The Little Drummer Boy

barump ba bump bum...

there is not a war against Christmas or saying Merry Christmas...

free speech..say whatever you want and TRUMP stop acting like a fucking idiot!!

good job on the tax bill, President Ryan!!

Joyeux Noel
Feliz Navidad

and Merry Christmas!!

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Fire Lake

who wants to go 

to Fire Lake???

Sunday, December 17, 2017

Cover Me

cover me

the local coverage of the Thomas Fire was generally excellent...KEYT, Noozhawk, EDHAT and even KTYD pitched in to help...

but the News-Press was just horrible, esp the online site which was off line most of the least I kept getting "failures and errors" when trying to access...and the paper edition was days behind everyone else and where oh where were the emergency numbers? 

I did see a little blurb on page 6 by Scott Steepleton complaining about the gov't..Scott was confused by the updates from the officials..why? because he's a dumbass, that's why.

the fire commanders and Sheriff Dept did excellent jobs of informing educated people....

here's some pics of the fire scenes

and at the Polo fields, a staging area was set  up with flags at half-staff in memory of firefighter Cory Iverson..

the guy deserves a
Purple Heart

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Sweet Home, Alabama

where the skies are so blue

I was watching the fire, The Polar Express and the Alabama election last night..I hoped the fire would die and oh how  I hoped and prayed that God would guide the good folks of Alabama to vote this hillbilly bible-thumping Baptist conservative pervert clown charlatan SOB Roy Moore out of the state and it looks like they did!! Roy Moore lost and Doug Jones won..Doug Jones also managed to get some justice for the young girls killed by the KKK long ago

I went outside and the air was clearing a bit with some stars overhead...little things but so big when they are taken away from you for awhile....

I haven't seen a passenger train in a week due to the fires...

or a clear sky blue sky until tonight


Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Day By Day

to see thee more clearly

[updated with a few corrections regarding the First Responders and the AIG Insurance  fire comment "FUCK THE NEWS-PRESS" STILL STANDS!]

the fire is pretty much out in Carp but the air quality is poor...smoke..last night was a fierce fire fight with the crews doing backfires behind Rancho Monte Alegre..

I've been watching this fire for a week and some of the images seem mythical...from some deep archetype of the collective unconscious, like a mad fire dog howling in the Carpinteria foothills

air crews arrived 

when the smoke clears, I'll have a better look..having spent a few wonderful years on the ranch in Olive Carey's old pink house until I got kicked out, I can say the area is/was the most beautiful place I've ever seen...but fire burns without consideration

AIG Private Responders

heard and saw hundreds of fire trucks on 101 moving up north...

First Responders

made a run to Albertson's and lots of first responder vehicles coming and going and some AIG guys parked..

all crews taking a break...what they did last night was incredible... they fought that fire face to face and prevented it from crossing 192 into the City of Carpinteria...the fire could have easily wiped out my section of town...

I'll think of that next time the stupid local newspaper complains about the pensions and benefits firefighters get...

fuck the News-Press!!

Saturday, December 9, 2017

Thursday, December 7, 2017

Ventura Highway

in the sunshine, where the days are longer, the nights are stronger than moonshine

Ventura Highway is on fire...the 101... a massive wildfire that started in Santa Paula is ripping thru Ventura and Ojai and now threatening Carpinteria, Summerland and Montecito...
it got my attention when Grant Park in Ventura  burned..the iconic Cross was saved or missed by the flames...almost bought a house in this area's beautiful and had some good times up there...close to Poli St and City Hall!!

then the images and videos were unbelievable...huge flames and high winds burned ferociously and indiscriminately...very scary...

Rincon Hill area just outside Carp city

I heard a loud pop and bang about 1:45 am yesterday and saw big flames marching up a hill close by....Rincon Hill...that's too close to the City of Carpinteria...

Heroic firefighters are doing an impossible job but they are containing and holding the line...but the winds...the Santa Ana winds can change quickly...

so the mandatory evac now extends to Highways 150 and 192 to Casitas Pass Rd..the voluntary evac includes Montecito and Summerland...Rancho Monte Alegre is part of it....all areas are above the 192...this info is not official because I'm not an official

but I'm part of it..the voluntary evacuation part...

and I'm ready to go

Sunday, December 3, 2017

This Is a Man's World

You see, man made the cars
To take us over the road
Man made the train
To carry the heavy load
Man made the electrolight
To take us out of the dark
Man made the boat for the water
Like Noah made The Ark

all you tattletail little girls gotta realize something..this is a man's world..

this is a man's world..

got it??

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Manic Depression

got a hold over me...

Asperger Syndrome is a developmental disorder characterized by significant difficulties in social interaction and nonverbal communication....

ok, I did read Scott Steepleton's story about the Isla Vista landlord berating a gay guy on State St..the gay happens to be the IV Community Services Director... 

I was at a meeting once and two gay guys, two poofs, were causing trouble, so the cops escorted one drunk gay out and the other gay started screaming at me in Puerto Rican-infused English "are joo tocken ta me?" it was very funny, like a Seinfeld episode!

so I told him to go outside and join his wife..he freaked out and all of a sudden I'm a, I just call a spade a spade

but Scott made some editorial assumptions about the sitch on State..that the video was provided by a "Democratic operative" hoping to get a felony hate-crime offense against the landlord...of  course Scott says "it appears"  that way because he has no facts..he interjected his irrelevant opinion into the story ...hey,  didn't Wendy say that her old reporters did that and that's why she fired them?? yes, she did because she's got Asperger's Syndrome, it appears

well if you want the real story from a real news publication, it's at the San Luis Obispo Tribune, complete with video and faggot-this and faggot-that

now I have no issues with gay people or landlords for that matter

or do I??

Sunday, November 26, 2017

Don't Touch Me There

At this moment of surrender Darling, if you really care, Don't touch me there

so with all the sex stuff in the news, the Girls Scouts have gone and warned little girls not to hug their aunts and uncles during the holidays...a firm handshake should do..

hey, when I  was  a kid my aunts would hug and kiss me and rub their boobs on me 'cause they loved me not because they wanted to molest me.. they made me feel safe and loved..

look, just because President Trump,  Judge Roy Moore, Al Franken, Bill O'Reilly, Anthony Weiner,  Harvey Weinstein, and half the Catholic Church are perverts, doesn't mean  your aunts and uncles are! some were probably Girl Scouts when they were kids

oh... but don't let anyone from the News-Press hug you...

or touch you even

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Eye In The Sky

I am the eye in the sky, looking at you....

Dear President Trump,

what a piece of shit you are..what a disgusting fat pig you are..throwing your support to Judge Roy Moore, a liar and accused both are so fucking stupid I can't believe it...

For the second time in 13 years, Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore has been removed from the bench by the Alabama Court of the Judiciary, both times for essentially the same reason: Refusing to follow a federal court order. The vote was unanimous and his judicial career is now over.


oh,  and of course Wendy/News-Press supports the pedophile too... according to Andy Caldwell's opinion, Judge Roy is a highly moral fella who could not possibly have seduced a fourteen year old when he was 30 and a DA in Alabama...or groped some teens..or hung out in malls trying to date the Judge said, he generally didn't date teens and always asked their mothers for permission..and if the teens said they dated, then Judge Roy doesn't dispute it..then he says he doesn't know any of his accusers!!

we are not in a court of law here...the presumption of innocence is for a jury trial..

in the court of public opinion, we need to use logical deduction to determine if the Judge is telling the truth..obviously, he is lying and can't get his stories straight

and yet, Trump still supports Judge Roy because he's a conservative!!

I know Alabama has some good people and will do the right thing by electing the Democrat Doug Jones, who fought and won some justice for the 4 little girls killed by the KKK

what did Judge Roy Moore do? he molested little girls

fucking turkey

Sunday, November 19, 2017

Sit Down, I Think I Love You

baby can't you see that I'm a desperate man...

ok, so this Louis CK guy, a comedian got busted for masturbating in front of women without their consent

'without their consent' they gonna say "ok" if I asked them

masturbation is a gift from God and you don't want to go against God, do you ladies?

besides, if God didn't want us to jerk-off, He would've given us guys shorter arms

that's how I see it

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

My Sharona

Never gonna stop, give it up, such a dirty mind
I always get it up, for the touch of the younger kind
My, my, my, aye-aye, whoa!
M-m-m-my Sharona

well I was born in the USA but I thank my lucky stars I wan't born in Alabama else I'd be preaching the gospel to you in hillbilly English you wanna have sex with a teen you don't have to go all the way to Thailand, just go to Alabama! the age of consent in Alabama is sixteen..16 years old and I can get it on with teen girls...that's a dream!! sugar and spice ....mmmmmm...juicy and tender girls with grits n gravy!!


 Judge Roy Moore, the bible-thumping ignorant hillbilly from Alabama is running for a senate seat and allegations popped up against him...apparently Judge Roy likes teens and one gal (of many) says the judge sexually molested her when she was 14 years old...and he was 32

14 years old..still old enough biologically to bear children, but mentally they're all giggly 'n stuff

so the question is did Judge Roy really do he a pedophile? Judge Roy: "Crime, corruption, immorality, abortion, sodomy, sexual perversion sweep our land"

and he tried to keep a statue of the Ten Commandments on gov't property in Alabama and is a homophobe....he's a real southern baptist ignoramus and the folks who defend him say the bible permits this type of behavior as Mary was a teen who banged an older man

look, I like my women between 20 and 78 years old,
with soft hair, a captivating smile, and big tits

Judge Roy likes dirty little southern girls

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Cathy's Clown

here he comes...that's Cathy's Clown


see? what'd I tell ya..the News-Press was so afraid of Cathy Murillo beating Frank Hotchkiss, they printed a front page fake news story and tried to smear Cathy because of a debate question from an old boyfriend!! it backfired Wendy and you got burned..Frank's debate performance was so bad..

big fat Andy Caldwell

WOWEE!! the libs won big in Santa Barbara last night despite the News-Press efforts to push ol' Frank across the finish line...even the Three Stooges- Andy Caldwell, Joe Armendariz and Lanny Ebenstein- sang the praises of Frank but fell flat...all these guys used to call themselves gov't watchdogs but they simply are Wendy's lapdogs

sit Frank..SIT..good dog!
Measure C passed and the cops will finally get a better headquarters downtown...Wendy was against the measure so we know she really hates cops...

the city council will be mostly liberal now and that should drive the News-Press nuts...I bet that Wendy and Nipper will blame illegals for Frank Hotchkiss's loss...

now I see Cathy and PODER locking arms, marching militant-style up to the News-Press front door, banging on that door and demanding...demanding..


Monday, November 6, 2017

I'm Gonna Hire a Wino to Decorate Our Home

She said: "I'm gonna hire a wino to decorate our home, so you'll feel more at ease here, and you won't have to roam. "We'll take out the dining room table, and put a bar along that wall. "And a neon sign, to point the way, to our bathroom down the hall."

there was a time when you could get busted for DUI, hire News-Press pal and DUI lawyer Darryl Genis, run and pout to said News-Press and you'd get to write fictitious stories about law enforcement.... and you might get off scott-free and sue the cops/city for police brutality....and WIN A BIG SETTLEMENT!!!

of course, it helps if you are a conservative then you'd get special treatment from Wendy...and we know Wendy had lots of her pals busted for DUI or drugs..all victims of the big ol' meanie police

but those days are gone..people are waking up....Mallory Dies got killed by a drunk driver who was working for the Lois Capps camp...Lois is a liberal so the News-Press turned tail and did an investigative series on the drunk and Lois connection..the investigative reporter was Peter Lance, who got busted for DUI and ran to Wendy and she ran a front page series for him as he covered his own DUI hearings while defaming the cops... nutso!!

but those days are gone...Santa Barbara came up with a marketing plan to concentrate the drunks in one place: THE FUNK ZONE!!! so now the cops go down there and lecture the kiddies on the dangers of drunk driving instead of chasing them around town

but now I hear where the principal of Santa Ynez Valley High School was busted for DUI and he's on administrative leave...the SYV Star and Noozhawk had the story by the same reporter..Noozhawk was once sympathetic to drunk drivers, but they are starting to sober up..

the SYV school board is trying to soften up the crime and the guy's father is on the school board!!!

Darryl's in jail for tax evasion so who do the drunks hire to represent them? I don't know but I do know the principal should resign if he is guilty... 

I don't care who his daddy is

Sunday, November 5, 2017


of a thousand dreams

FOX News and the News-Press created the fake news, but the conservatives just blamed the New York Times for it...

in Sunday's News-Press, we have a situation whereby Wendy wants to censor an enemy, Cathy Murillo's former hubby, David Pritchett for axing a question at a recent debate..the event was hosted by KEYT and sexy but stern Beth anchored it while CJ, Jerry Roberts and Tom Bolton asked questions...

Jerry Roberts asked Frank Hotchkiss, Wendy's little sycophant, why he denies climate change and Frank's response was go read the News-Press article..I chuckled and said to myself: right on cue, Frank

now Pritchett's question was fair game: how much money do you make? the News-Press has pried into public workers' salaries so why shouldn't we know how much the mayoral candidates make, which would be in addtion to the mayor's salary ($50000/year) and any pensions/benefits...

Frank says it's none of your business..again, right on cue Frank..but a check of the internet will tell you Frank's net worth which ain't all that much and probably why he wants to ride on Wendy's gravy train

now the News-Press is wanking about the question because they don't like who asked it!!

if Trump has his daughter running our foreign policy, why can't Cathy's ex ask a question?

because Wendy likes free speech only when it benefits her, that's why..

and they must be worried that Cathy will beat Frank in the election next week

Friday, November 3, 2017

The House of the Rising Sun

oh mother tell your children not to do what I have done

Frank Hotchkiss is a don't want to elect a whore for mayor, do you Santa Barbara??

Frank works in the whorehouse down the street called the News-Press doing whatever Madame Wendy McCuckoo tells him to do....


I knew a gal once from know what she told me?



Monday, October 30, 2017


You baked today. I can smell fresh bread on you. Sometime today, you cooked with salt pork. Smell that on you, too. You smell all over like soap: you took a bath. And, on top of that, you smell all over like a woman. I could find you in the dark, Mrs. Lowe, and I'm only part Indian.


I do not trust fat Republican chicks!!! or skinny ones for that matter...

SARAH SANDERS: "The President doesn't recall [his foreign policy advisor] George Papadopoulos."
DONALD TRUMP: "I have one the best memories in history."

but I always wondered what happened to fat chick Nancy Crawford -Hall..Wendy's soul sister in crime...after she folded her weekly paper the Santa Ynez Journal and blamed gov't unions, she disappeared..but she still owns the big ranch and is neighbors with the Chumash Indians in Santa Ynez...goddam uppity Indians, give them an inch and they take a mile..same with the uppity black football players protesting discrimination before every football game now..I have never been discriminated against so I don't know what their problem is...

but the Chumash have forced Nancy to hire lawyer Barry Capello who used to do Wendy's dirty work until she unleashed him..but still he's humping the legs of rich Republican ladies!!! what a punk!!

apparently, these white folks don't want the redskins to build houses on CAMP 4- pristine ag land right next to Nancy's isolated hog ranch, the Lucas Ranch or san lucas or something

now I live in Carpinteria for a's beautiful, right next to the ocean, highway's close by for a quick getaway..and we got mountain views that are killer!

I think Nancy and some of the hill folk in the SY valley have cabin fever..been holed-up too long and see every change as a threat...

the irony is Davy Crockett aka Fess Parker sold the Indians the land!!! DAVY CROCKETT!!!


Sunday, October 29, 2017

Who Knows Where The Time Goes

Across the evening sky, all the birds are leaving Oh but then you know, it was time for them to go

it was a cold, gray October Saturday day...I was burning incense, drinking green tea with ginger and listening to rocknroll all day.."I WENT DOWN TO THE CROSSROADS, FELL DOWN ON MY KNEES" sang Cream.. I turned the stereo way up

I checked my watch and then the calendar...Oct 28 2017...2017!!! AARP, Social Security!! WTF is going on!! where'd the time go??

I head off to see Collins and Stills helplessly hoping they're still alive..they're in their 70s you know....I love the Arlington neighborhood-used to live here with an old girlfriend..wonder if she's still alive..or maybe she's undead

I'm dressed in black like Johnny Cash....I pose in front of the Arlington Theater..I feel cool

I see State Street is hopping with can smell the restaurants cranking out tasty dinners and everyone seems happy....some guy is pacing up and down, asking people for extra tickets...

I see some chicks from Carp and a chick, Kathleen, who was on the city council years, she sure looks different..dressed to kill in black leather jacket and miniskirt and heels... I guess you never really know a woman till you see her legs!! YOOOWWWW!!

I wish all city council chicks looked like this!

the show starts at 8:00pm with a singer named Ben...forgot his last name but he was pretty good...the place is packed

then Stills and Collins hit the stage and start singing and playing with a three-man backup band..."Handle Me With Care" a little tribute to Tom Petty

the very beautiful Judy Collins is supposedly 78 years old but she looks around 48 and sounds like an angel... Stills was in good shape at 72..hit a few blue notes but when they clicked, it was awesome...a really lovely version of "So Begins The Task" from the Manassas album..Judy happily singing harmony and playing rhythm on a beautiful Martin 12-string...Stills played an army of expensive guitars..Fender Strat and a big blonde Gretsch plus some Martins...all worth a fortune

they did a new song, Cohen's 'Everybody Knows' from the new album.. it was thrilling.. just beautiful...

no pictures allowed and they teased and joked with the audience about cell phones ..they told stories about each other and the start of the folk music scene..Judy did solo versions of Leonard Cohen's 'Suzanne' which was stirring to say the least...and Joni Mitchell's 'Both Sides, Now'....I was pretty much in Heaven at that point...her voice is amazing and everyone was oohing and ahhing and the duo got about ten standing ovations thruout the night

some political stuff interspersed from two old folkies hit the spot

Stephen and Judy rocked out with 'For what It's Worth' and 'Bluebird' from the Springfield days..Stills' guitar playing was insane...

they did two encores..'Houses' from Collins and Suite: Judy Blue Eyes..the middle and ending which had everyone on their feet again

then a curtain call with the band and that was it...the concert was a grand affair....the Arlington is a gem ...the songbook from these icons is stellar.... these two are the real deal and their music has given me great joy over the years..and it still does....

man, that was a good night

Friday, October 27, 2017

Hurt So Good

c'mon baby make it hurt so good

so Trump did a good job highlighting the drug problems America has...oh sure he threw in the border wall which has NOTHING to do with drugs...a wall will not stop drugs from reaching the junkies...


and wisely Trump says alcohol is just as bad as any other drug...Trump doesn't drink or smoke and does not seem addicted to anything except Twitter and power...and pussy!

so I'm all for the war on drugs because drugs are just stupid and only lazy, stupid people do drugs..lazy stupid people clog society!!!

but what Trump doesn't realize is that the News-Press, Wendy and Nipper, are booze pimps...they push booze in the News-Press like a homeless person pushes aluminum cans in a shopping cart

BOOZE IS EVERYWHERE!!! Prohibition didn't work...Santa Barbara's got the new booze infused Funk's got the Wine, Beer, and Tequila Festivals...and of course the stoners and pot use will increase

there are more recreational drug users in Santa Barbara than any place on earth!! nowadays even the slightest little pain sends some people to the opiate aisle....or to the bar...or to the liquor store where Nipper would be working if Wendy wasn't wealthy

look, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of some stupid, little people in Santa Barbara don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world...

here's looking at you, kid

Thursday, October 26, 2017


 She's come undone
She didn't know what she was headed for

And when I found what she was headed for
It was too late

She's come undone
She found a mountain that was far too high
And when she found out she couldn't fly
It was too late

It's too late
She's gone too far
She's lost the sun

She's come.... undone!!!

Sunday, October 22, 2017

No Milk Today

just two up, two down

ok so I missed Peter Noone and the Herman's Hermits concert at the was part of the Unity Shoppe's celebration....many wannabes, conservatives and white rich locals showed up...Wendy's numero uno sycophant Nipper was there with Dennis Miller, who performed sans Bill O'Reilly...we just learned Bill paid 32 MILLION dollars to FOX News gal Lis Wiehl to shut her up about his perverted sex issues..that dude is SICKO!!! and Miller continued to tour with Bill!! wimp

Kenny Loggins was there and from the pics I see Kenny's facelift just keeps getting weirder and creeps me out....Kenny, the aging process is a natural thing, not a plastic thing

social butterflies Beth and CJ were exciting!!

but you know, reading the News-Press Real Estate section, I saw that the Unity Shoppe just bought a building on State St for a few million dollars with DONOR money...that seems to conflict with their message: The Unity Shoppe is a 501 (c)(3) Public Benefit Corporation that encourages self-sufficiency and independence by providing education and the necessities of life to families, children, seniors and persons with disabilities during periodic times of crisis.

'encourages self-sufficiency'....only if you're a poor Mexican

but you know what they say: beggars can't be choosers EXPIRED??? DEAD??

and I see from an EDHAT post that Wendy hasn't renewed her site?? hmmmm..maybe her check bounced

the Lobero Theater should be ashamed for letting Nipper on the stage