Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Kansas City

I'm goin' to Kansas City, Kansas city here I come

I just got a letter from the IRS in Kansas City telling me they're missing info about my health care coverage from 2014 and/or 2015....so they want me to amend the return and tell them about my health care coverage..


that's not necessary..I'll tell them right now


I don't have health care insurance becasue I refuse to spend over $150 a month on health care insurance..I did this when insurance companies kept raising my rates claiming they need more money for new technology..BULLSHIT...they need more money for investors

so I pay cash to the doc or dentist..it's alot cheaper

then Obamacare hit and now they want a "shared responsibility fee" from me...WTF is this, a holdup??? Did Obama think he was Robin Hood..steal from me to pay some poor slob's healthcare??

so to the IRS: no fucking way am I gonna amend ANY tax returns for you..you can kiss my ass on State Street...and let me spend a minute with your mother and she'll be cryin' for her mommy

and TRUMP..fer Christ's Sake..REPEAL the stupid health care law...the gov't is lousy with anal conservatives now, SO DO IT!!


Monday, September 18, 2017

I Ain't Superstitious

but a black cat crossed my trail


now that I've called the News-Press racists, part of Trump's white nationalists, they go and try to smear Dr. Suess as a racist....the guy who wrote all those Cat in the Hat books was not racist but he was a bit of a satirist...

now the story in the News-Press BOOKS section on page A6 was just as cuckoo as Wendy...apparently the Cat in the Hat was really modeled after black people who threaten the stability of white America!! WTF kind of story is that???

Dr. Suess did do some political cartoons during WWII and jabbed the Japs but that is normal during wartime....helps beat the enemy when you belittle and dehumanize them..it's easier and then bomb the fucking shit outta them...

Japanese- Japs, Nips, Tojo

Chinese- Slant-eye, Chink, Gook, Chinaman

Germans- Fritz, Hun, Jerry, Boche (French), Kraut,

North describing South: "Rebels, Rebs, Dixies"

South describing North: "Yankees, Yanks, Feds, Federals, Blue Bellies

liberals: tardos

but no, Dr. Suess was not a racist...

and besides, all is fair in love and war

Thursday, September 14, 2017

Burn Down The Mission

If we're gonna stay alive
Watch the black smoke fly to heaven
See the red flame light the sky

so it looks as though Father Junipero Serra was scalped...the statue at the Mission in SB was vandalized..the vandals took the handles and Serra's head and poured red paint on him..the scene was so gruesome, authorities covered the statue with a tarp! never seen that before

one headline had it this way: Amid the Democrat Party’s nationwide jihad against US history and culture the statue of St. Junipero Serra was vandalized in California again this week.

but that's just silly alt-right babble

now who would do that to Junipero's statue? potheads that's who!!

we know the Indians use alot of pot and other hallucenogenic plants..and we know there's the story that in reality, Father Serra terrorized the natives and forced them to build the Missions..

well I don't know about all that 'cept to say-

they did a pretty good job

Monday, September 11, 2017

Whenever I See Your Smiling Face

I have to smile myself...

I don't mind hundreds of beautiful women passing by my window, dressed in pink..I don't mind that at all

every year I watch the ladies walk...dressed in some form of pink, they walk the 'Avon Walk to End Breast Cancer'

if they find a cure, I won't see them again and that's fine by me...until then, I marvel at their solidarity and resolve

and spirit..I love their spirit

Saturday, September 9, 2017

Indian Lake

Indian Lake is a scene you should make with your little one... keep it in mind if you're lookin to find a place in the summer sun

depending on your political persuasion, you may have an explanation for this weird weather..conservatives will tell you it's the 'end of days' per the bible and liberals will say it's global warming caused by irresponsible conservatives...me, I don't know what the fuck is going on

but I'm glad to see the City of Goleta finally come to its senses..I was going to suggest a non-profit take over the management of the Coronado Monarch Butterfly Grove...needed: people who care about nature, aren't afraid of eucalyptus trees, and won't instill fear and ignorance into the kids....

ok so if the eucs are really dead I got no problem cutting them down..BUT if they are not dead, leave them alone!! the blue gums


I just read that Monarch butterflies are headed for the Endangered Species List due to people messing with their habitat, ie over-development, pesticides killing milkweed, and of course people cutting down eucalyptus groves because they are "non-native"

a cluster of Monarchs on a eucalytus tree is a wondrous sight...save the eucalyptus and you save the Monarch butterfly...

real simple

Thursday, September 7, 2017

Speedy Gonzales

Hey, Rosita-I hafta go shopping downtown for my mother
She needs some tortillas and chili peppers

I think Noozhawk is the only rightwing publication to carry Michelle Malkin's crazy column...this week she cries about Mexican 'Dreamers' and says they don't deserve anything from America..


but Michelle fails again using her twisted logic..so to set the record straight, the Mexicans did more for America than the Japs did...in fact I think all the Japs and slanty-eyed folks like Michelle should be sent back to Japan or Korea or wherever they came from...the Japs bombed Pearl Harbor pulling the USA into WW2..that meant we needed people to fight...the Mexican Army fought for the USA..and we asked them to come over here and pick crops while the American men went to fight the Japs and Hitler...

eventually we won thanks to the Mexicans who helped....allies!!!

when slit-eyed people inbreed, the results can be seen in North Korea..


let's send Michele back to her relatives!!

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

Down in the Bottom

down at the bottom of your mystery, down at the bottom of the wine dark sea


I was driving down 101 a long time ago, headed for my destiny when I heard 'Do it Again' by Steely Dan.. I was blown away...what a great song!! I heard the song again and again and just loved it...Steely Dan...Becker and Fagen and all those A-List musicians put out some of the finest music ever produced..it was brilliant..original and quirky and always pulling in jazz influences mixed with rock-n-roll

Walter Becker put out a solo album called '11 Tracks Of Whack' and of course I got the cassette...1994...it is a superior album..one of my favorites and a chance to see how talented this guy Becker was..recently he died at 67 but left his music for us to listen to..and it ALWAYS lifts me up when I hear a Steely Dan or Walter Becker song...

'Down in the Bottom' happened at a really great time in my life, a really great time... so I'll always love it...

Walter Becker...thanks man

Monday, September 4, 2017

I`ve Been Working

Happy Labor Day!!

I've been workin' I've been workin' so hard I've been workin' I've been workin' so hard I come home I'll make-a love to you

Wendy don't fire anyone today, ok???

Friday, September 1, 2017

See You Later Alligator

after awhile crocodile


so the News-Press has been wanking about anarchists from the left..antifa and the troublemakers who interrupt speeches from conservative trust-funder racists from the Young Miss America Foundation that Wendy owns....

all the while, the NP is silent on the White Nationalists and Nazis who killed a girl in Charlottesville...Wendy didn't even bother to cover the event on the front page of her paper!!

may I remind Wendy that when Bush was President, his pals at ENRON were trying to rob people in California..and when Obama got elected, the Governor of Texas, Rick Perry wanted to secede from the union..now the Lord in his divine wisdom is punishing Texas with biblical rains and destruction....so the real anarchist is Rick Perry and he's a traitor..traitors should be shot..Trump of course appoints Perry as Energy Secretary

I happen to believe that Wendy and Nipper are white nationalists and they leave little clues in the paper from time to time..

and here's one I'd like you to see..in the Business Section that nobody reads, they have three pages left WHITE...


draw your own conclusions


UPDATE: no wonder I couldn't find a News-Press anywhere on Saturday

EDITOR'S NOTE: Sept. 03, 2017  

September 3, 2017 12:10 AM Equipment failure
at the News-Press printing facility was the cause of a significant delay in delivering Saturday's paper.

Share Story 

or meybe everyone at the NP was DRUNK!!!

Thursday, August 31, 2017

Willie and the Hand Jive

doin' that crazy hand jive


I know a cat named Way Out Willie He's got a groovy little chick named Rockin' Millie He can walk and stroll and Susie Q And do that crazy hand jive too


mama mama look at Uncle Joe, doing the hand jive with sister Flo...Grandma gave baby sister a dime Said, do that hand jive one more time

hand jive, hand jive, doin' that crazy hand jive

Sunday, August 27, 2017

Forbidden Nights With a Vampire

Yes. Apparently, small children didn't know they should stay away from people with purple hair. Have you seen my mommy?


so I head for the beach expecting a heatwave per the weatherman but it's still gloomy and grey...you don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows

I stand there and see the mysterious purse still on the rocks..on the sand..in the ice plant...by the railroad tracks


finally I see a cop and flag him down...I explain the sitch and he dons some black latex gloves and checks out the scene..a crime scene? I check the novel closer and it's titled 'Forbidden Nights with a Vampire' by Kerrelyn Sparks...a chill runs down my spine

I thank the cop for looking into it and take off

feeling a little guilty

Saturday, August 26, 2017


I saw her, I know I did

the good thing about these cool and overcast August days and nights is I can feel autumn in the air...feel the Halloween vibe and the Spice Girls airywhere...and yet i know it's still summer and there's still time and tide

and a great French film noir was showing, 'Diabolique' with the awesome Simone Signoret..oooo, and I love Simon Simone..so cute and pretty and spooky in Cat People...I'll see it come Halloween...

no rush but I can't wait...

this purse was on the beach for a few days... a jar of pickles, a romance novel? it's suspicious and perhaps a dark murder mystery involved...so I called it in....


Thursday, August 24, 2017

An Ideal Husband

MRS. MARCHMONT. I come here to be educated

LADY BASILDON. Ah! I hate being educated!

MRS. MARCHMONT. So do I. It puts one almost on a level with the commercial classes, doesn't it? But dear Gertrude Chiltern is always telling me that I should have some serious purpose in life. So I come here to try to find one.

what's with all these crazy Russian guys? they come to town kill their wives and/or kids, then skidaddle out of town until they get caught..and all because things ain't working out at home...killing your wife won't solve anything, you need to be a man and let her go if that's what she wants..but these Russian guys are punks...like Putin, the putz..may the kids and women who are killed by these monsters have eternal grace and peace

so the Navy managed to damage TWO BILLIONS DOLLAR destroyers by running into cargo ships...WTF is going on Trump??

so I was out past midnight last night feeling ornery and needed a drink so swung by Bo Henry's on the westside..is it closed?? it had the right proper romantic atmosphere for a bar and if you wanted to kill your liver with absinthe like Oscar Wilde done, Bo Henry's seemed like a good place to do it..

Bo Henry's Cocktail Lounge is a modern neighborhood saloon, the only bar on the wild Westside, SB's best kept secret: safe, clean and joyful. Bars in Santa Barbara Six beers on tap, 35 varieties of bottled beer, some craftsman.

Address:- 1431 San Andres St, Santa Barbara, CA, 93101

Phone Number:- (805) 966-7898

Website:- http://www.bohenrys.com

but nothing is there anymore....it's a mystery..maybe the Russians are involved?? or Monaco??

if you see a guy walking toward you with dead beady eyes, a stupid accent and a Victorian hat on top of his head...introduce yourself....

it could be your next husband

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Yummy Yummy Yummy

I got love in my tummy
And I feel like a-lovin you
Love, you're such a sweet thing
Good enough to eat thing
And that's just a-what I'm gonna do

ok so Taylor Swift appears in a publicity photo with some DJ and his girlfriend..they are all smiles and Taylor later claims she was groped and sexually assaulted by the DJ..she sues and wins and is awarded $1...one dollar..to bring awareness to something or other

I think Taylor is nuts...pampered blonde celeb with minimal music skills..how and why would a guy, in a publicity photo with his girlfriend standing next to Taylor, sexually assault her in front of the cameras?? it's not plausible but it is laughable

now I studied the picture in question and it looks like the guy's girlfriend and Taylor want to get it on..look how close they are and I'm cool with that...

Taylor is so skinny the guy probably couldn't even find her ass!!! but look at the girlfriend rubbing her tits on Taylor's tummy as Tay leans in and giggles!

I don't know what the hell went down that day...

but at least the DJ didn't grab her by the pussy

Monday, August 21, 2017

Devil With The Blue Dress On

Fee fee fi fi fo fo fum, Lookin' mighty nice now here she comes

I Hope Hicks

I look out my window and see overcast and clouds that I've seen for 18 fucking days...so no total solar eclipse for me

then, just around 9:00 AM and the start of the eclipse, the sun came out hot and bright and cast spooky shadows over me...so I get my good camera and a pair of old cardboard 3-D glasses and point the camera thru the glasses and get some crazy pics of the moon and sun...not totality but totally cosmic

I think that's just about the most awesome thing I've ever seen..

and felt!! I felt the universe unfold!!!


ok so I've seen the hooded orioles, an areola, the osprey, a peregrine falcon...but still no sharks and definitely no bears...

peregrine falcon

so the story on Noozhawk about the beach bear was cool..the black bear that wandered down from the hills thru Rincon creek and hit the beach...the bear was not aggressive or threateneing but sure as shootin' Fish and Game guys killed him claiming he was old and worn out..but they really killed him because the bear was too close to people...I wish the Fish and Game would stop lying!

tonight Trump, although I give hime credit for Hope Hicks, will announce a strategy on Afghanistan.. one of our endless, pointless wars...if Trump continues the war, he should be impeached

Hope can stay, but Trump must go

Saturday, August 19, 2017

Humpty Dumpty

sat on a wall

so the News-Press had no problem covering the Barcelona terror attack on the front page ...but Wendy did have a problem covering the Charlottesville terror attack...radical Islamic terrorists or radical Christian rightwing terrorists..what's the difference?

see, these guys from the ALT RIGHT live at their parent's house and they should go back home and get their mommies to wipe their asses before they go outside again...but I see they will be protesting immigration in Laguna Beach on Sunday night..that should be fun....California is not gonna put up with these knuckleheads and their paranoid visions of the future..America will be just fine with out them...so let 'em know!! remember they already killed one lovely young lady, Heather Heyer in Charlottesville who was protesting against them


and as I watched these little fucks with the torches, I recalled the News-Press anti-immigration rally in De La Guerra Plaza..of course, Wendy and Nipper were too chicken to come out, so they let their willing sycophants do the dirty work...the bullhorns, the American flags carried by racists...and one policitician who supported Wendy and the murderous Minutemen was Frank Hotchkiss...what a weenie!! don't let Frank get the mayor's spot!!!

to freshen the memory, the NewsPress headline claimed the people in the front page photo were "illegals" simply because they were Mexicans..that is pure white nationalist racism from Wendy and Nipper, David Duke stuff! douchebags

and now Steve Bannon is out...Trump's use of Breitbart guys to shape America's future is insane...these guys are morons

all the King's horses and all the King's men

Sunday, August 13, 2017

Southern Man

better keep your head, don't forget what your good book said


you can be sure if all the commotion in Virginia was caused by illegals or blacks, the News-Press would have a front page story..but Saturday and Sunday, the News-Press had zip on the crisis..the governor called a state of emergency and people were killed...the perps are White Nationalists losers and Trump supporters and that's why Wendy ducked the story..what a chickenshit!!


so Wendy and Nipper are indeed White Nationalists and no doubt support the racists that gathered in Virginia...the same type who supported the News-Press racist "illegals" headline

douchebags like David Duke, the KKK flying Nazi flags with the Confederate flag..these folks are of the same ilk as the Minutemen and we know Nipper is pals with the head of the Minutemen..total racists

think about that next time you advertise or allow a story to be done on your biz by the News-PRess..if it doesn't faze you, you should be ashamed of yourself

on the front page of Sunday's News-Press was some story about Reagan and the ranch...

this issue should be about civil war history but it's devolved into good ol' racism....I'm all for keeping symbols of the civil war for historical perspective

not exactly a newspaper, the News-Press is more a propaganda publication for white nationalists, like Wendy and Nipper

"Sieg Heil" "Heil Hitler!" 

and then this! , Wendy has to use the Tribune News Service to cover a Santa Barbara story, right under her nose in De La Guerra Plaza!!

Demonstrators gather to protest Charlottesville violence


August 14, 2017 7:21 AM

LOS ANGELES Hundreds of protesters demonstrated in Santa Barbara.....

geez, did she fire ALL her reporters?? is this the beginning of the end for Wendy, Nipper and the News-Press???

Saturday, August 12, 2017

Play That Funky Music, White Boy

Play that funky music right. Play that funky music white boy. Lay down the boogie and play that funky music 'till you die...


white people are starting to embarass the shit outta me so I'm changing my name to Mick Von King and I'm black..I'm black...and dat mean I likes me dem white ladies!!

if you are a vegan you should know this: you need animal protein to function normally...that means steak and potatoes for dinner...I see that Craig McCaw's (WENDY'S SUGAR DADDY) restaurant on Coast Village Rd in Montecito is set to open..called Oliver's it will serve only vegan food..Craig is a vegan I think and since he has no animal protein, he's a little slow...not as much energy as he needs which is probably why it took him seven years to remodel the old Peabody's restaurant..I mean the thing is only about 1000 sq ft! SEVEN YEARS MAN!!

monkey-shit brown??

I see a Susan McCaw is in the civil index for 'unlimited auto' so I guess someone is suing her...I wonder if Sue is a vegan too...maybe her spark was off..hey I wonder if that was her Porsche on Mountain Drive last month!! just speculating

then I see a Carp realtor was busted in Fresno for DUI..second time DUI..first one was in Santa Barbara... way to go cops keeping the drunks off the road...wish the dude would get some help

then I see Rincon Catering on Santa Claus Lane will be in court for "unlimited product liabilty" whatever that means...

from the COURT: AM 17CV02717 McCaw, Susan * Maxwell, Pauline SB Dept 6 1) Case Management Conference Unlimited Auto (22)

10/27/2017 8:30 AM 17CV00215 Rincon Catering Inc * Geck, Donna D SB Dept 4 1) Case Management Conference Unlimited Product Liability (24)

so... any black girls out there?

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Honky Tonk Women

gimme gimme gimme the honky tonk blues

the beach off Santa Claus Lane is Santa Claus beach..it's not Padaro beach, it's Santa Claus beach...some folks have a problem with that thinking Padaro has more status than Santa Claus but that's nonsense...the new condos on Santa Claus Lane are going for 5 million dollars..is that status enough for ya??

but I swung by Santa Claus beach and it was a real fine day with the sunshine, Surf camp, kids in the water, boats, fishing and I loved it...

Santa Claus Lane shall remain as it is and I know the County of Santa Barbara has some concerns about safety and the trains but more people are killed by trains from Summerland to Goleta than at Santa Claus Lane...this is the home of the "World's Safest Beach" after all

so the lane is super cool and casual and I noticed this bitchin' Volvo parked behind me.. some chicks got out to sunbathe, but these old Volvos are neat beach cars...



Sunday, August 6, 2017

Are You Experienced

are you?

Fiesta is in full swing and I love hanging out at Earl Warren Showgrounds Saturday morning watching the rodeo..the old west..the new west...horses and girls and ropin' calves...if this is animal abuse then I'm Roy Rogers..

but I'm not Roy Rogers, I'm just a guy with a camera and Earl Warren showgrounds is where I saw some of the great musical acts from the 1960s.... at 15 or 16 years old we'd go see concerts..tried to look cool smoking Winstons, wandering around the ballroom with the stage in the center...all the gals from school were there

let's see....Grace Slick and the Jefferson Airplane, Janis Joplin, The Grassroots (their manager and I were on the O'Jays tour years later!), Alice Cooper, Buffalo Springfield, Doors, Byrds to name a few...

cowboys, cowgirls and rocknroll...what more did I need?

some folks don't like Fiesta because they say it depicts the Spaniards abuse of the Chumash Indians...but that's not my problem..I love Fiesta!

so here I am at the Earl Warren Showgrounds...I think the Jimi Hendrix Experience is playing tonight..

I wonder if I'll see Jenny there

Friday, August 4, 2017

Sweet Caroline

good times never seemed so good


I love this weather...hot, warm and windy, and cool with tropical clouds using the sun to paint the sky in rich pastels..I've never seen such incredible patterns as this brief start to August has brought..and later this month the solar eclipse! you can smell and see the ocean's sweaty face

and I'm sitting outside with no fog, just light breezes and lazy clouds when I see this bird dive bombing a tree by the highway..then flies over the condo then dives again...he's moving so fast... I get some pictures, but the bird is too quick for me...

it's a peregrine falcon and it's beautiful...from what I could see

a peregrine falcon!

how cool is that?

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Communication Breakdown

communication breakdown....

what am I watching, the Godfather?? geez, Trump appoints another feckless wonder to Communications Director then fires him 10 days later! must've given Mooch an offer he couldn't refuse

so Trump puts more military guys in top gov't spots...Trump, the draft dodger with five or so deferrments...what a pussy!! maybe with McCain being sick, Trump doesn't like guys with brain cancer??? and Wendy and Nipper got a Patriot Award for endorsing Trump!! clowns

the News-Press is a mess as is Trump ..he can't lead a moth to flame...he has his daughter and wife run things while he spends all his time on Twitter seeking revenge against celebs who make fun of him...

change is needed...into chrysalis or pupa....

then I hear Trump called the White House "a real dump" compared to his golf country clubs

well, it's past time to DUMP TRUMP before he starts WWIII

the guy is a real POS

oh and PS...

ever since Trump's the president, I've seen more and more white trash move into my town..

why is this???

Sunday, July 30, 2017

Surfin' USA

everybody's gone surfin'

there's alot of talk about sharks lately and why they are here...is it global warming? the seal rookery in Carpinteria? your guess is as good as mine...

I haben't seen any sharks what do I have to do, rub anchovy paste all over my body to attract a shark??

the problem isn't any of the above..I mean I see more UPS trucks on the road but that's not because of global warming, but rather Amazon.com

ok so SURFERS are the problem...they hang out on the edge of the ocean where sharks cruise, and then someone gets bit and they close the beaches for a day..but there is only one creature with the power and clout to close beaches for a month or a whole summer season and that creature is the Snowy Plover!!

so my point is BAN SURFING and surfers and the shark issue will go away...

oh and paddle boarders and kayakers too