Monday, December 31, 2012

the tracks of my tears

if you look closer it's easy to trace....

it is New Year's Eve....Dec 31 2012.... how many members of Team Wendy will get busted for DUI tonight?? do you think Peter Lance will go out drinking and driving again tonight or do you think he's learned his lesson? I think lots of folks have learned their lesson about DUI....because they have two choices..they can run to Wendy or they be highlighted here on this blog...and I think we know which has been more effective in arresting drivers who DUI...the cops!!

ok so I haven't visited with Dr. Laura in awhile and I see she's fallen on hard times, broadcasting from the trunk of her car..I'm so sorry for you Dr. Laura but I warned ya!! hope you have a better 2013

now these last days of 2012 have been awesome..the weather has been plentiful and bountiful....not just endless days of fog but sun clouds, rain and I go out to enjoy it...I go back to see what's left of the skunk and just a tailbone it some other scattered guts..the microbes will take care of those....

then I trek along Highway 192 and stop numerous times to scout around and I go up a trail and see some footprints that excite and scare me at the same time, like that black chick that was following me yesterday...but I think I see a big lion or bear paw's huge..there's gotta be a mountain lion around here and I know he won't show his face..they are wise enough to stay away when food is plentiful..but exciting to be so close and yet so far away from a big cat....or a bear.. maybe bigfoot...or whatever

ok so I expect some big things in the New Year.. I wanna see some
behavioral changes in my conservative more blaming everyone else and the government for your problems, no more hitting little old ladies, no more hissy fits...take responsibility for your own lives godammit coz I'm getting goddam tired of babysitting you with my tax dollars...

I wanna see people pick up after their dogs.. I wanna see more women naked...I wanna see more naked women...I wanna stand at the top of the Carp Bluffs with the sea in my face and the eucalyptus leaves dancing in the wind and look down, with my binoculars, and see boobs shining, glistening in the sun instead of a bunch of obese that too much to ask???

Sunday, December 30, 2012

running up that hill

if I only could, I'd make a deal with God

so I went for some wild fun on Saturday...I hadn't been to Cold Springs trail for awhile and being that it was a rainy day, I thought I I did.. it was a beautiful day..cold and blustery, then the sun came out a bit....

so I drive on up the mountain and there's a few cars but not enough to make me turn back..I parked and got out, then noticed giant limb hanging over my truck like a shadow hanging over me...

I took a few more steps away from the truck, then turned back and moved it to another spot..I could just see that big tree limb crushing my was a sycamore by the I parked safe and started my journey...up the trail ooohhh it's a crisp day and there's trees and leaves and water and rocks...and...hmmmm...a bunch of trees broken..limbs lying around, in the creek, and the trail of broken hearts I've left in my wake..

I'm happy to report the native-only cult hasn't even been up here..there's all kinds of wildflowers... and no manicured trails....

ok so I go on up aways and see the creek and feel the water..I kneel down and splash it on me..I look down into the pool of water and it turns brighht red and I see Kate Bush's face staring at me..Kate Bush!!

ever since I heard that song I can't get it out of my head....and Kate's face was in the water...a reflection..a vision, an illusion, a trip man....

....I go a little further running up that hill and more trees with red berries and no people..oooh but there's two chicks walking their dog on the other trail across from the crik..well don't blame me if that pooch gets eaten by a bear...or falls down into the crik and drowns...

ok so I like this...I feel good today by the time you read this it'll be yesterday...too late for some of you but I saw things, wonders that defy my powers of description!

on the way back I see a couple of turkey vultures on the side of the road.. one with a red head and one with a black head, picking on some road kill.. filet de skunk... these ancient birds really know how to take care of business

I drive up slowly and they let me take some pictures..then they fly off to the top of the telephone pole and wait for me to pass....

I passed them and thought to myself....the hills have eyes.... just a few steps and I'm in old west California...and I'm staking my claim

Saturday, December 29, 2012

walk like a giant

across the land

I went into Santa Barbara and expected things to be a certain way..but I was appalled when they weren't a certain way....for example this dog in a this normal? or is this the new normal? if there is a God why does He maketh me look at these things??

well I see another Stinchfield was arrested by the cops....for a weapons charge and we got Laura Stinchfield trying to convince me in the Independent that animals talk..I wonder if she's related to the crazy guys?? and I sure hope Randy Campbell wins his case against Indie gal Marianne Partridge who allows silly columns like Laura Stinchfield's the Pet Psychic....psycho is more like it

and on Olive Mill Rd..a girl walks alone under giant colored this a joke? some kind of a joke?

oh so now I hear Marilyn Monroe was a commie..really? well so what if she was or wasn''s a free country, isn't it??

Helicopter parents..

this is a new one but perhaps all the psycho killer white guys can be traced back to their Helicopter moms and dads:

There’s a term out there called "helicopter parents" — moms and dads who do more than just take an interest in their kids, but try to dictate their every move, take an interest in every detail, and even live vicariously through their sons and daughters. Twenty-one year old Aubrey Ireland knows the type full well. That’s because she just won a restraining order case against her parents who have taken the idea of being involved to a whole new extreme.

So what were they doing? The Cincinnati Inquirer has the surprising accusations, which include the parents installing tracking software on Aubrey’s electronics (emphasis added):
Despite her good grades and success in musical shows, David and Julie Ireland often drove 600 miles from Leawood, Kan., to visit their daughter unannounced. They accused her of using illegal drugs, promiscuity and suffering from mental woes. She insisted none of that was true and asked them to stop, but their accusations escalated. They informed her department head she had mental issues that could force them to go to court to have her treated....
The parents knew about what they saw as their daughter’s problems because, they admit, they installed monitoring software on her laptop and cellphone, allowing them to see her every keystroke and phone number dialed or received.. It was "like I was a dog with a collar on," said the daughter, a dean’s list student every quarter

well, Aubrey had the good sense to get a restraining order against mom and dad instead of picking up a AK 47 and wasting the college choir....or her parents!!

good for you, Aubrey!! and parents, you gotta give the kids room to grow

Friday, December 28, 2012

you don't miss your water

till your well runs dry

some people don't like dams..but I like dams dammit....I like dames to, see?? but dams are cool..I know if you talk to a damn enviro-whacko, he'll go all apey in the face when you mention dams....

people build dams for one reason...for something to do!

and to hold back the water....then the water is used for power, recreation or whatever...dams should be used sparingly of course because a bad dam can wipe out a the St. Francis Dam did in Los Angeles...

I like the Hoover's probably the coolest thing I've ever seen..or never seen...but still without the Hoover Dam we would be speaking Japanese or German right now....the Hoover Dam provided power cheap power so the war planes and battleships could be built in California..Los Angeles....that's right, California saved our asses!!

and behind every dam is a reservoir..the Hollywood Reservoir, the Cherry Creek reservoir, Lake Casistas and Lake Cachuma, the Bear River Reservoir....see what I mean...there's romance and the wild west in every dam.....

so the next time you crack open a faucet and the clear water flows out, what would happen if sand flowed out? you'd have a nasty shower experience that's what, dammit!!

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Little Latin Lupe Lu

Talkin 'bout my baby
Ahhh, Latin Lupe Lu
She's a high flyin' baby
Ain't no dance she couldn't do

ok so we got faux-preacher Andy Caldwell and faux -teacher Lanny Ebenstein handling the editorial duties for the News-Press-Andy wants Jesus in the public schools and Lanny wants more white people in public schools...well I've attended private, public and Sunday school...Jesus wasn't an issue in private or public schools, but he was in Sunday school..Jesus this Jesus that...there's a certain insincerity about people who sell Jesus all the time...they're all a bunch of peddlers!! consequently, I ditched Sunday school alot and hung out at the school yard...isn't it ironic..the reason I hung out at public school on Sunday was to get away from Jesus! now don't get me wrong..I'm a spiritual guy...I got more spirits running thru me than BEVMO....but I'll decide when and where to call on the supernatural, not preacher Andy...

and when you have to enlist Lanny Ebenstein as a character witness, you're in alot of trouble....I've mentioned before Lanny's pot house issues which exposed him as an irresponsible landlord...his neighbors in Eureka sued him and he was forced to settle with them...a trial would have been very embarrassing for now the only place he can pretend to be a professor, a man of the world, a important dude is in the pages of the News-Press!! Wendy is a dream-maker!!

the story is about Roosevelt school and specifically its Principal, Dr Donna Ronzone...the SBUSD has taken some hits with poor leadership under supes Dr. Brian Sarvis and now Dr. David Cash, so I'm not surprised that it continues....scrutiny is necessary so the schools don't hire any child killers as was the case almost with the Smiling Faces Youth Program fiasco

now the issue is racism at Roosevelt..racism among the administrators, like from the Princpal Dr. Donna Ronzone....the News-Press had an article about some treacher suing the district for discrimination against Latino would think all these doctors of education would know better
..all kids should be welcomed at Santa Barbara schools and any display of racism among the administration members is unacceptable....

Lanny writes that Latinos do very well at Roosevelt and points to all the scores and tests...but this has nothing to do with's about racsim Lanny...and besides, why should I count on Lanny to tell me about Latinos when I could count on little latin Lupe Lu...sweet sweet Lupe Lu

well I know Lanny and the News-Press are's well documented..and I hear no black folks are allowed in the News-Press building because they scare Wendy and Nipper....

and other lawsuit in July says Principal Ronzone sent threatening emails to a disabled teacher!

the complaints are building up against Ronzone..and if Lanny has to step onto the pages of the News-Press to defend her, then she must be a monster!!

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

I walk the line

I keep my eyes wide open all the time....

The Toro Canyon Plan hearings were fun, interesting, and sometimes boring. Greg Mohr of the Santa Barbara County Planning Department is a very smooth talker and remained pretty calm while the storm was blowing around him. He presented his plan week after week to the planning commissioners and ultimately to the Board of Supervisors. Helping him on the history section of the plan was Heather Baker.

Ms. Baker did a good job of pointing out the historical significance of Santa Claus Lane and she’s pretty easy to look at, too... I figured that could work to Santa’s advantage, since people were calling him UGLY..kind of a beauty and the beast thing! She presented some sound reasons to keep Santa where he is, which gave the Santa Supporters at least a little hope, anyway. I was thrilled when knowledgeable folks like local activist Laura Funkhouser (another advantage to Santa) and John English from the L.A Conservancy came to speak on the virtues of roadside vernacular architecture. They definitely made an impression, enough to confound the board members from reaching a consensus about getting rid of Santa! Ms. Funkhouser’s article on Santa Claus Lane and the state of our little beach cities paradise really nails it. I’ve included her article in this story. Other folks talked to the commissioners and supervisors..some for and some against Santa. But things were heating up. Property owners were pissed!

A few members of various Boards decided to call it quits, even the Deputy Director of the Planning Department, due to the scrutiny they were receiving from the Toro Canyon Plan..this wasn’t a peace and love fest…people were angry that their properties were going to be chopped up and regulated. A lot of these folks are used to getting their own way so there was a lot of whining and lawsuits threatened.

I Walk the Line.....I had to walk a thin line throughout the hearings..I wanted to save Santa but some of the policies in the Toro Canyon Plan were getting scary, so I didn’t want to piss Greg and Heather off too much by criticizing their plan (they started to add affordable housing and park-n-rides to the plan). I needed them to save Santa. I learned the fine art of compromise. Let them rezone Santa Claus Lane as long as they keep Santa where he is. And since I was faced with this duality within, I didn’t participate in the public discussions as much as I should have. In the end, they (the county) caved to the business owner’s demands.

The Coastal Commission required a Coastal Development Permit for changes to coastal structures and Kent’s lawyers didn’t have a permit. To get one would elongate the process with more hearings and the owners wanted Santa gone now!

Well, the doc finally came up with an excuse that will allow him to remove Santa.. he claimed the statue was "unsafe" because of a roof leak! And he had to sue the county to make that one stick! All the while, the place was open for business. If he was really concerned about the employees and patrons, he would have closed it on his own! But the County Building Inspector checked out the structure and agreed with Kent, and said Santa’s gotta go. I’m certain that he was just a county guy under some pressure to end the Santa saga and avoid a lawsuit. So the county settled.

Why Don’t You Take a Picture, It Lasts Longer

As it stands now, the remains of Santa Claus Lane will be photo-documented (by Kent’s people no less, what a guy!) and archived at the Carpinteria Historical Museum. I know change is inevitable, but in this case, it’s inevitably stupid!

Greg Mohr of the County Planning Department said it’s a "win/win" situation for everyone involved! No Greg, it’s a win/lose situation. The doctor wins and the friends of Santa Claus Lane lose. But if I get any pangs of nostalgia, I can visit the Carpinteria Museum of History, that, by the way, should have jumped at the chance to put Santa in its museum.

One of my goals in attempting to save Santa Claus Lane was to curb the excessive growth in this area and the influx of the idiot-rich. I make a distinction between the idiot-rich and the cool-rich…one builds with ego and money, the other builds with restraint and creativity. But urbanization is spreading like cancer. Planning Commissioners and Architectural Review Boards are becoming yesmen and women to developers. Some of the commissioners have bought houses in the new developments and who knows what kinds of shady deals are taking place!

Some folks claim it’s none of my business what a property owner does with his property. I tended to agree until I became a property owner. If we let developers do whatever they want, then they will! And they may do it right next to your house. Remain silent at your own peril!

People want to cut down Eucalyptus trees because they are non-native, they want to build without restraint, they want to cut down trees to "improve" views. Silly whims. This is why a Toro Canyon Plan is protect the area from the whims of thoughtless egomaniacs! But we need to be careful we don’t plan it to death....

The Cottages in Summerland, Summerland Heights, the proposed Lagunitas in Carpinteria, Goleta’s Marketplace..all backlogged when water was the floodgate’s are opening! Who’s gonna stop them? ME? I can’t buy everything, so the county needs to help! And of course it’s happening everywhere… One of my favorite places, Monterey, is experiencing the same influx of the idiot-rich and Barbara Evans created a website to try to save the beautiful bay area…

The bottom line is there are too many people in California and they’re not all illegal immigrants! Big white families driving gas-guzzling Suburbans, not out of necessity, but out of status seeking! Orange County transplants moving up here to kill the small town, beach city atmosphere that I and many others love. Agriculture must be preserved at all costs! Why? Because Carpinteria’s character is totally endangered and the Supervisors have already started to take the agriculture land away! Maybe I should stop complaining and run for local office!

I care about the area in which I live and wish only to protect it from opportunistic, greedy developers as they drool over our coastline and mountains and cram in more people than necessary. So we lost the Santa fight, there will be plenty others, and I’ll be better prepared for the game!

after the hearings, Robert Maxim stepped in to save the Santa statue from demolition and find it a new home in Oxnard.. a place called Nyeland Acres...not exactly what I had in mind...but better than burning him...Nyeland Acres was known for some rowdy gang activity and Santa got shot his first year there! some low IQ idiot shot him with gun! however, the big red Santa has always been a survivor and things have improved in Nyeland visit the statue every Christmas and he brings some good cheer to a place that really needed it....and I'm truly grateful to the folks who brought some whimsy to California... Santa Claus Lane in Carpinteria

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Monday, December 24, 2012

Mixed Up, Shook Up Girl

pretty in mink

Kathy in mink
well it's Christmas Eve and I need a good controversy...l've been thinking about Kathy Ireland alot lately...I haven't seen the supermodel/mom/Christian/businesswoman in the News-PRess for awhile and I'm concerned that maybe Kathy and Wendy had a tiff..oh wait.. a tit for tat...oh wait.. a titter...

now we know that Kathy once praised God for giving her the courage to appear on Dancing with the Stars...and we know that Kathy helped start a Christian school in Santa Barbara called Providence Hall...
but what I didn't know is Kathy wants to de-fund Planned Parenthood....and I didn't know that this year Kathy and the Barbi Twins got into twitter war over animal rights and abortion....ok this is good! just what I wanted for Christmas..three chicks who spend their lives in bikinis with a "come fuck me" look on their pretty faces!! Kathy was a swimsuit model and the Barbi Twins are kooky animal rights gals....

Kathy Ireland: @Barbi_Twins Will stop fur design when activists join fight to save babies.
Barbi Twins:
Love babies too, but animal activists don’t wear, sell and design skinned babies.
Barbi Twins:
@kathyireland ur luv 4 babies is g8, but saying u will stop selling #fur if #animalactivists saved babies is disguising profit 4 #compassion
Kathy Ireland:
@Barbi_Twins @jmniguy Am praying for you. God bless you.
Barbi Twins: @kathyireland TY Can u also plz put a prayer n 4 the #animals that were skinned alive or anally electrocuted 4 ur #FUR line? God luvs us all.

gassing a mink!
ok so this must be why Wendy and Kathy are not speaking..because Kathy is gassing those cute little furry minks! it seem that Kathy is selling mink coats from a fur farm...WTF??? people still wear mink?? whoa, Kathy looks hot in mink!! Merry Christmas Kathy!

"This relationship with the Fur Vault and American Legend is a new direction for our company in fashion. The extraordinary team at the Fur Vault has embraced the history of American Legend and the classic and contemporary designs that women want today. Everyone at Kathy Ireland Worldwide looks forward to collaborating with the geniuses at the Fur Vault and American Legend for many, many years," said Kathy Ireland, Chief Designer and CEO, Kathy Ireland Worldwide.

"There's nothing fashionable about a dead animal that has been cruelly killed just because some people think it looks cool to wear."-- Stella McCartney
(Fashion designer and daughter of Paul McCartney.)

Killing Methods
The killing methods on fur farms are gruesome. They use different methods to kill the animals without damaging their fur.

Small animals may be put into boxes and poisoned with the hot engine exhaust from a truck. Larger animals have clamps applied to their mouths and rods inserted into their anuses and are electrocuted

geez, fur farms are so bad..I'm no big animal rights PETA guy, but fur farms are bizarre killing fields, like the Channel Islands! they kill mink, fox, dogs, and whatever else so people can wear the fur...

wow....I'll be watching Kathy...and if she wants to come over and discuss it she's welcome...and Kathy, please wear a red bikini under your mink coat....pleeeeeeze!!! I'll leave some milk n cookies out for ya!

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Last Chance Texaco

 the brilliant Laura Funkhouser tells it like it is….er... was

Historic Roadside Santa Claus Threatened
Last Chance to Visit Santa?
By Laura Funkhouser
June 14, 2001

Santa Barbara (CA).
Southern California’s most prominent example of roadside vernacular architecture is merely a supervisorial decision away from becoming a memory after a June 25 public hearing by the Santa Barbara County Supervisors. The jolly, rotund Santa Claus figure which sits atop Santa’s Candy Kitchen on Santa Claus Lane, along Highway 101 in Carpinteria, has entertained travelers and locals since 1948, when the figure was added to a roadside juice stand. Throughout the 1950s, Santa Claus Lane grew into a Christmas-themed roadside attraction, complete with rooftop reindeer, Frosty the Snowman, miniature train, shell shop, soda fountain, restaurants, refrigerated North Pole, and a Post Office. Until the 1970s locals would get their Christmas cards postmarked "Santa Claus, California." Santa’s Candy Kitchen still commands the lane.
The new owner of the Santa Claus Lane property would like to destroy the recently renovated landmark in order to create an upscale Cape Cod-style retail strip to service the conspicuous tastes of new residents to the community.
There has been a prolonged campaign advocating preservation of Santa from the Pearl Chase Society, the leading preservation group in Santa Barbara (that launched, the public, and architectural historians -- including eminent vernacular architecture authorities, Jim Heimann (author of California Crazy: Roadside Vernacular Architecture, featuring Santa Claus Lane) and Alan Hess (author of Googie: Fifties Coffee Shop Architecture). In spite of the outcry for preservation, the Santa Barbara County Planning Commission only reluctantly added the option of preserving Santa to their Santa Claus Lane planning policy recommendation, at the last possible moment before sending the document to the five Santa Barbara County Supervisors, who will decide whether Santa stays or goes, as part of the Toro Canyon Plan update. Prof. David Gebhard, the leading California architecture historian, fought to make Santa Claus Lane a landmark for decades. His untimely death just a few years ago prematurely ended a prolific and respected career and cut short his efforts to save Santa.
Located a few miles south of Santa Barbara, the image of the Carpinteria Valley, characterized by gentle foothills dotted with avocado orchards, family farms, and flower growers, is changing. In recent years, fueled by the arrival of state water and booming economy, the coastline area has become prime real estate for wealthy retirees. These newcomers favor faux Country French and Italianate hillside and oceanfront mansions, and would sooner sacrifice their luxury model Lexuses than live with the authentic mid-century American Santa Claus Lane.
Santa Barbara County is a sort of museum of arbitrarily themed-architecture communities – adjacent Summerland is a Victorian village, Santa Barbara a Spanish Colonial "American Riviera", Los Olivos a False Front "Petticoat Junction", and Solvang, a Danish village. Perhaps this tradition of installing quaint simulacra is why local decision makers are woefully behind the times with regard to the preservation of authentic historic architecture, particularly that of the early to mid-20th Century.

Figurative or programmatic architecture in Los Angeles, such as the Capitol Records building, Tail ‘O the Pup hotdog stand, the Brown Derby restaurant, as well as mid-century vernacular architecture such as ‘50s domed movie theaters, Dingbat apartments, and "Googie" architecture have come under the intense focus of California preservationists. The City of Downey recently preserved the oldest existing McDonald’s, while Burbank saved an original Bob’s Big Boy restaurant from destruction. Both restaurants have since become commercial hits because of their retro appeal to those nostalgic for a pre-mini-malled California.

Many Santa Barbara locals now refer to their upscale, tourist-clogged community as "Spanish Disneyland" and yearn for a monument to the good ‘ol days, when the Santa Barbara coast was a string of simple, laid-back beach communities and numerous Bohemian artist and surfer enclaves. Carpinteria Valley has generally retained its low-key authentic eclectic beach town character, accented by the rare "only in California" Santa Claus Lane roadside attraction. Yet, there is growing pressure from Carpinteria’s new wealthy taxpayers of the Toro Canyon area to pick a more upscale theme.

According to Lansing Duncan, student of history and David Gebhard, and former Santa Barbara County Planning Commissioner, "Although it does not fit the upscale Spanish Colonial Revival stereotype of Santa Barbara’s contemporary commercial architecture this creative roadside landmark epitomizes the naive innocence of California’s love affair with the automobile during the 1950s and 60s. Santa Claus is a middle-class American icon of the economic prosperity and do-it-yourself fantasy that has been used to sell California to successive waves of immigrants for centuries. This unique visible manifestation of Santa Barbara’s diverse cultural history should be preserved for future generations, not trashed for a run-of-the-mill, up-to-the-minute substitute, simply because we’ve ‘grown up’."

So who were the folks that turned a little juice stand into a roadside phenomenon that is featured in half a dozen books on roadside architecture? They were June and Patrick McKeon, who moved out from Ohio to find their place in the California dream – a dream that may soon end for generations of passersby.

June would later marry John Young and they had a ranch up in the Carpinteria foothills....a couple of nicer folks you couldn't find...I lived there, Playgirl Kym Herrin lived there with Danny Young, and Doobie Bro Tom Johnston lived there at one point....what a strange and wonderful gathering of was like living in Big Sur..I felt like Jack Kerouac!

Saturday, December 22, 2012

silver bells

it's Christmas time in the city

when I was a child I was playing by the road near my house when some crazy lady picked me up and started running down the road with me like I was a freekin rag doll or something..well I was pretty cute as a kid so who can blame her ..luckily some guys saw her and ran after us finally releasing me from her clutches...

geez ladies relax..I'll get to each of you when I can...

oh God I think I saw birther queen Orly Taitz in Carp yesterday..she was ina little black SUV..I glanced and saw a big boned blonde chick at the wheel...spittin image of Orly and her SUV was covered with teabagger bumper stickers....I'm on Orly watch now....

I saw the Lemon Drop Kid for the first time last night..Bob Hope at his best and Marilyn Maxwell was stunning..the movie was very silly and funny and Silver Bells was written for it..and Bob and Marilyn had an perfect...and both entertained the troops during the USO tours..

Bob Hope in 1944: I saw all our boys doing a sensational job over there. And I mean one of the greatest jobs, fighting for one of the greatest things that we know of and that's our country and you can be proud of our country.

The war ended, but Hope’s missions did not. He went to Vietnam nine times. The fact that this war was controversial made it no less a source of laughter for Hope: "I bring you news from home the country is behind you 50 percent."

They played close to the fighting, but Hope often made light of the dangers they faced.

From the beginning, Hope’s trips overseas were supported by the U.S. government. As controversy over the Vietnam War grew, some said Hope never met a war he didn’t like.

Hope did not
take kindly to that: "When they say I'm pro-war, they lie. I'm not pro-war. I hate war. I've seen too many American kids suffer. I've seen too many American kids dying."
hey Wendy and Nipper how come no mention of Coffee with a Cop in the News-Press?? it's a very popular and successful program in Santa Barbara.... everyone is enjoying the experience it seems....

and even Wendy could ask a cop a question....can you picture that? Wendy asking a cop a question... hahahahaa!

Friday, December 21, 2012

end of the world

why do the birds go on singing, why does the sea rush to shore??

oh I do love Skeeter Davis but today the world is really supposed to end...let's wait and see..

well one world is ending in newspaper publishing... the Santa Ynez Valley Journal is shutting down, and porky publisher Nancy Crawford- Hall is mad at the world..the end of her world

Nancy's last gasp was a disjointed paranoid expose on California politics and her proof (finally!!) of voter fraud complete with exhibits that were unreadable and names redacted (blacked-out) numerous times...I had a hard time following her logic where she infers some unnamed guy's handwriting or printing samples on registration forms don't match to Nancy's satisfaction... so she concludes he committed voter fraud..or something.. when Republicans keep losing elections it must be voter fraud...that's not voter fraud, that's a big fat cowpie Nancy you gave us for the last issue!!!

at least let James Blanco look at the guy's signatures! HAHAAHHOOOOOHOOOO ya know, my signature is never the same either....

Nancy's swan song is full of self-pity and phobias:

Rotten to the core

The state of California is rotten to the core. The vast majority of the legislators, not all, the vast majority of the judicial system has simply been taken over by some very bad people. These are people who think nothing of stealing your vote, stealing your money, stealing your rights and turning up their middle finger at our founding documents that promise us, all of us, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

I have provided for your information another screaming example of fraud (on the cover and pages 6-7) where a registration signature and a ballot signature do not even faintly resemble each other. Yet this "vote" was counted as legitimate. What is going on in the registrar’s office? Do you have the fortitude to look into it and stop it? Do you have friends who could work with you? You will need a coalition to work through this, it is doable, but you cannot do it alone.

I have spent a lot of time, money and effort to pursue the sources of voter fraud in this county. I have gained an enormous amount of information, pictures, evidence and expertise on the topic. I am not done. I intend to continue the work to its logical conclusion, but you can no longer afford to assume I will take care of everything as you have for the past four years.

Most everybody knows that changes are coming in January, and I am going to be hit hard with new taxes due to Obamacare. As a result, I am unable to continue to pay reasonable salaries to the professionals working for this newspaper. Everything you have heard about how small business has been given 18 tax breaks is simply a lie. I have received no tax breaks on anything anywhere – and furthermore, I expect huge tax increases next year and the years following, because I am one of those who actually pay taxes. I guess you get what somebody may have voted for.

In the meantime, I close with a heavy heart and wish my former employees good luck in the future. I know they all have the highest of recommendations from the Journal. The newspaper is not being sold, just ceasing publication until we have a more reasonable government.

a more reasonable government? Obamacare? Founding Fathers??  voter fraud?? WTF is she talking about???

well, I can't understand, no I can't understand how life goes on the way it does.....
poor Nancy..poor poor Nancy...

Thursday, December 20, 2012

livin lovin... she's just a woman!!!

oh there was a bunch of booms today that scared folks but it was just this


METLIFE zeppelin blasting Led Zep out of the badadada bombadadadaaa..livin lovin..she's just a woman!

my little corner of the world

Come along with me,
To my little corner of the world,

ah, silver-haired monkey ladies in red sweaters walking their dogs around town is not what I expected..not the way it was supposed to be...

ok the only time that Scott Steepleton writes stories in the News-Press is when Peter Lance has a boner for a cop or Wendy wins a court case which is why I rarely see a story by Scott anymore..seriously...this is NOT a victory because Wendy and Nipper are can losers win??? they can''s all political

ok so who are these judges who overturned the labor law? well they are real doosies..or daisies..but one guy caught my interest and you don't have to look far to find out what a creep he is..another fat old white guy with a two-dollar haircut..a better ruling would be: Wendy doesn't have to hire them back but does have to pay for illegally firing them...say $100000 per ex-employee..that would be more than fair..

and to suggest as Scott does that Wendy fired the reporters to correct a bias she saw in their stories is absurd...does she think that the Peter Lance series was not biased?? She supplied Lance with his own personal reporter!!!

Wendy fired the reporters because they reported on Travis Armstrong's DUI arrest..Travis was Wendy's pet editor at the time; and because the reporters reported on Rob Lowe's issues, printing his address which Rob willingly provided at the county hearings..then Rob cried to Wendy about it and Wendy commenced her firings for that and union organizing...

quotes: This guy is not a judge; he is a right wing hatchet man. Judges are expected to be impartial and non partisan. Sentelle is anything but; he is, essentially, Rush Limbaugh in a judge's black robe.

David Sentelle and A. Raymond Randolph—have a record of decisions defending the interests of big business and attacking democratic rights

ok so the ruling in favor of the News-Press has no credibility..I knew that and now it is these guys make it to the judgeship is a mystery to me..

the McCaws have slithered into Santa Barbara and now are we have Craig McCaw giving a ton of cash to ex-wife Wendy who continues to kill her paper..ok...but Craig just bought Peabody's on Coast Village now he's a restauranteur...I don't think that will last long because he has to work with grease and tempermental waitresses and cooks!

speaking of cooks, the Julia Child Foundation is in a legal whuptodoo with the BHS Corporation
CN) - Julia Child's foundation and a home appliance-maker filed dueling lawsuits over whether the maker of the Thermador oven can use the legendary chef's name and image without violating trademarks.

BSH Home Appliances, which makes Bosch, Thermador and Gaggenau home appliances, sued the Julia Child Foundation for Gastronomy and the Culinary Arts in Boston Federal Court on Aug. 24.

and now it's in Santa Barbara court....

8:30 am

1413083 The Julia Child Foundation etc vs BSH Home Appliances etc Donna D Geck SB4 1) Case Management Conference Civil-SB

I thought Julia Child was dead! I guess the moral of this story is when Wendy is dead she'll still be suing people from the grave!! geez, some people just don't know when to quit....

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Maggie's Farm

well, I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more...

OMG the lawsuits involving the News-Press..I've lost count of the number Wendy has sued and has been the DC court ruled in favor of the News-Press when Wendy fired all those folks because it's her paper....of course she fired some for union activity...but as long as she has the money and the paper, she'll control to the labor laws broken, well, I guess that bird will sing eventually.... but something is wrong with the ruling considering all the nonsense, the lying, the spying and the crying...what is up with the DC court? oh yeah, the judges are a bunch of conservative dummies!

so the fired employees won't be re-instated and I guess it was a long shot but it seems there's really no paper to go back to! when I picked up the News-Press last Monday, I thought I was holding a copy of the Daily was soooo thin the News-Press was....shapes of things to come? I dunno but I saw one of Wendy's houseboys Don Katich on KEYT last night...

Don looked paranoid like he was in a trance or drunk or about to have a seizure but managed to mumble "we won't give up our rights to unions or to the gov't"..... or the right to break labor laws....

geez this dude Katich don't look right to me!!!

and why is it that Wendy can break the law without consequence?? I may have to look into that and how much she paid in bribes to the conservative appeal court judges..

you think it didn't happen...I've heard a rumor once that the News-Press was shipping cases of wine to other media outlets for favors...a la Rupert Murdoch's bribery issues! hmmmmm...

well let's keep things local and see how Wendy fares against her former anti-worker attorney Barry Capello who is suing her for unpaid bills....and the Arbitration folks suing Ampersand for guess what non-payment of bills...

American Arbitration Association vs Ampersand Publishing LLC Colleen K Sterne SB5 1) OSC:; re CMADRESS Civil-SB 01/11/2013:
8:30 am
1371670 American Arbitration Association vs Ampersand Publishing LLC Colleen K Sterne SB5 1) Readiness & Settlement Conference Civil-SB 02/06/2013:
11:30 am
1371670 American Arbitration Association vs Ampersand Publishing LLC Donna D Geck SB4 1) Trial Confirmation Civil-SB 03/05/2013:
8:30 am
1401999 Cappello & Noel LLP vs Ampersand Publishing LLC et al Colleen K Sterne SB5 1) Case Management Conference Civil-SB 04/05/2013:
8:30 am
1401999 Cappello & Noel LLP vs Ampersand Publishing LLC et al Colleen K Sterne SB5 1) Readiness & Settlement Conference Civil-SB 04/23/2013:
11:30 am
1401999 Cappello & Noel LLP vs Ampersand Publishing LLC et al Colleen K Sterne SB5 1) Trial Confirmation

ok well Wendy's lawyers will be busy sorting through the latest stuff....the latest from the most corrupt business in Santa Barbara..the News-Press....

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Dr. Robert

well well well you're feeling fine...well well well he'll make you...

the continuing saga of Santa Claus Lane

Dr. Kent, I presume....
But he never showed up. Fine! I figured he chickened out..and to top it off, the commission voted 3 to 2 to designate Santa as a "place of historical merit" after my speech. What a salesman I am! I felt good! maybe I should run for mayor!!

What next? Well, next, the shit would hit the fan! I heard that the owner was "really angry" that the hearing happened without him..he couldn’t reschedule his heart patients and claimed he didn’t get proper notice. Which sounded like bullshit! I got plenty of notice. I thought it was all over but the saga went on..and on..and on! More hearings, then to the planning commission then to the supervisors! Holy shit! I gotta do this again? Being a rather solitary creature, I didn’t really want the attention, but saw the value in free publicity.

The next hearing a few weeks later was to decide if Santa should be landmarked. Landmarking would provide the structure more protection from development than mere "place of historical merit" status. That meeting was the fun one! Everyone showed up mostly in support of Santa. The Pearl Chase Society even got involved and created a "SAVE SANTA" website. Some folks were dressed in Christmas garb handing out cookies and candy canes on a hot August morning. Little old ladies were cute and very funny dressed as elves. We spoke to the commission about what Santa Claus Lane meant to us, but first the owner, Dr. Kent spoke. He came armed with a few lawyers and I came armed with a copy of "California Crazy- Roadside Vernacular Architecture" by Jim Heimann and Rip Georges. Kent was miffed at us and the Landmark’s Commission and you could hear it in his wavering voice.. "I am not amused at this display!" he scolded us. After about 45 minutes, he was done trashing Santa. The majority of the commission certainly sided with the doctor and his so-called property rights. I heard he got the property for a song and a dance! Chairman Lex Palmer decided to table (delay) the Landmark status vote until the TORO CANYON PLAN was finalized.

That was a bold move..we weren’t dead yet. The Toro Canyon plan was still in the Planning Commissioners hands and we had a long way to go.

Local Media
Nick Welsh of The Santa Barbara Independent Weekly did a cover story on Santa Claus Lane after the Landmarks Commission hearings It was the only real coverage by local media. KEYT television didn’t touch it! At least I didn’t see it. They seem only to cover murders and car accidents! The News-Press had a few articles, but mostly editorials against keeping Santa after billionaire/pro-development Wendy McCaw bought the paper! Randy Alcorn was working for Wendy as CFO and he was writing opinions against saving Santa....Randy was a major suck-up to Wendy, then she canned him! some folks never learn....

planner Heather Baker and supervisor Naomi Schwartz
The Investigator
All the while, Dr. Kent and his lawyers and chummy business owners and tenants on the lane were trying convince the public, planning commissioners and ultimately the Board of Supervisors that Santa should go, and they had many reasons…Santa was ugly, Santa made upscale people sick, he was hurting business, Santa was not historically significant. Of course, there were plenty of folks who wanted Santa to disappear.

The poor tenants had to side with the property owners..Hey, I used to be a renter and I know how to suck up to the landlord. Survival instinct!

Kent’s people even sent a private investigator to visit me in Carpinteria. I of course didn't invite him in, but spoke to the investigator, Larry Troxel, for about 30 minutes and he questioned me about my motives for trying to make Santa a landmark against the doc’s wishes.

I told him I didn’t want a bunch of pampered, phony, wealthy morons fuckin’ up my side of town, and also I felt Santa Claus Lane was historically significant to Carpinteria’s agricultural past. He actually sympathized! He was a pretty nice fellow and kinda reminded me of James Dickey, the guy who wrote "Deliverance" and played the sheriff in the movie. My thinking was: " I’ll talk to you, buddy, just don’t get any hillbilly ideas!" Then he disappeared as mysteriously as he appeared. Dr. Kent claimed he didn’t send the investigator, but that maybe one of his "history consultants" did! Ha! I laughed..what a weenie ….so that’s who I’m dealing with.

"Western Seaside Vernacular" (Does that Include the Castle?)
Meanwhile, a developer named Paul Franz was erecting a freakin’ monstrosity on Santa Claus Lane called the Franz Commercial Development. (I’ve heard Oprah Winfrey likes him! Opray made a fortune catering to neurotic white people!) He and Kent were part of the "Santa Claus Lane Business Owners Association". Kent was president. There’s about three or four landowners on the lane who belonged so big fucking deal! I’m the president of the non-existant Save Santa least I got more members. Also, Slimeball Sr. (the greedy guy who tripled the rent to force the Archambaults out of the Padaro Grill) was a member of Kent’s gang, so by association, all the members were slimeballs.

Franz’s huge "upscale" ( for the rich only) building is a cross between a Danish nightmare and a Warehouse..the warehouse looks fine, but the Solvang-by-the-sea addition is U-G-L-Y and juts out in strange angles. That was the beginning of the end of 1940’s casually funky Santa Claus Lane. What the hell are these guys doing, Where the hell was the Planning Commission or Board of Architectural review when this was built? They were right there, saying "YES"!

The new theme on the lane would be "western seaside vernacular" because the lane was located in California , hence "western", and right next to a big ocean, hence "seaside". These guys are brilliant! This is much less confusing than a big, red, fat guy on the roof of a building and the north pole in southern California. Thank god they cleared that up for us! This is another example of wealthy developers controlling wimpy county boards. I have to mildly praise the Board of Supervisors and Planning Commission for holding out this long on the Santa issue, however. It was always an uphill battle..pushing that rock up the hill! (the story of my life) I also wanted to see if my supervisor, Naomi Schwartz, was the peoples' politician or the rich peoples' politician...well, maybe a little of both....

Monday, December 17, 2012


ten days in the Carpinteria wilderness with only a tent, a multi-tool, a ukulele and ten pounds of beef jerkey...

hey I look thru these glossy magazines and see stories by some guys who thinks they is Mother Nature's Son...haha...they have pictures of condors and stuff fed to them by the Nature Con or Parks Service which they then regurgitate out to the public in the form of glossy stories printed on glossy paper..

but there's no gloss siree....I can see thru the propaganda as surely as I can see the sun rise..or the rainfall...or a bird fly....I can because I am Survivordude!! fuck these other guys..they are imposters, posers, punks...mama's boys

ok so I set up camp in a place where coyotes, foxes, skunks, racooons and possum hang out...the fox I saw was dead but nonetheless a encounter with coyotes has brought me back...the coyotes are my brothers now...and I wanna know their ways..I wanna survive out in the wilderness with only beef jerkey to long do you think it will last with a bunch a coyotes hanging around me??

I hiked up to the ridge and took a pic of my camp with the tent and some other outdoorsy kinda stuff I bought from Big-5 sports I'm ready for anything but what I don't have is a GPS because unlike most of you, I know where I'm going...

pardon me while I play little tune on my uke under a euc...

so I spent the night in the hollow..the woods, the bush...and it was cold and wet but not too wet...the tent is waterproof.. I set up little tins around the camp to collect water so now I gotta figure out which is water and which is coyote pee and my campsite is strategically located so if I get bored or scared can go home or bop into IHOP for some pancakes! mmmmm

I'll catch ya later...

Sunday, December 16, 2012

oh well

now back to our story....

At one point I was going to ask Ellen DeGeneres to help with the Save Santa Cause, but I only had the nerve to ask her to pose for a photo! She was shopping at an antique store in Summerland and was very cool about it. She knows how to smile for the camera!

I decide to do my own poll of Carpinterians to see how they felt about Santa and Santa Claus Lane and created a to track this story. Carpinterians were in favor of keeping Santa 10 to 1! I talked to people on the street "He’s a legend!" said one lady. "He’s an icon, they can’t kill him!" said another. At least 100 people signed a petition to keep Santa on Santa Claus Lane. Many more sent letters to the Planning Commission and Board of Supervisors. Fuel to the fire!

OKAY… I decided to see what I could do to fight these developers. I wrote a letter to the County Planning Department and they sent me some information on Santa Claus Lane which was part of the mossy but interesting TORO CANYON PLAN draft from the 1980s. Included in the packet were tables of historically significant resources in the area, like the Memorial Oaks and a cemetery, and Santa Claus Lane was among them..GOOD.. I thought. The Santa building was potentially an historic landmark! Hey, if they can landmark trees and cemeteries, why not Santa? That would provide him more protection from development.

Edward Cella of the Pearl Chase Society and
Alex Cole of the Historic Landmarks Commission

Next I wrote to the county historic landmarks commission and wanted to know the process by which properties are landmarked. They sent me a nomination form, I filled it out with Santa as the nominated dude and sent it back. A couple months passed and they sent it back-rejected! I didn’t complete it to their standards..but mainly because one old lady on the board did not want Santa to be landmarked.(she must have thought I was a low-life for even trying..she never acknowledged me at the meetings!)

I filled it out again and they sent it back again..I forgot to dot an "i" was the excuse this time. Who are these fuckheads ?? I thought to myself.

Then I got a call from one of the Landmark Commissioners. She made some suggestions since my nominations were being rejected. I also asked her if I could nominate a property against the owner’s wishes and she said yes.

" So baby, meet me by the Big "O"!

Finally on the third attempt, I added a bunch of information from the old Toro Canyon plan historic section, they accepted it and set up a date for me to appear and present my case. Finally!

I didn’t understand the significance of the sculpture in front of the Santa Barbara County Administration Building, even though I glanced at it many times during the hearings. It’s a sexual thing! It’s gotta be! That’s the rumor floating around among those in the know, who informed me of the connection.

I was told by Alex Cole, a member of the Historic Landmarks Commission who was very helpful in guiding me through the bureaucracy, that the owner of the Santa figure or his representative would be there to debate me. Okay, great..I get to meet this little shit who wants to ruin Santa Claus Lane.

So I show up… a little nervous at the prospect of trying to save something that doesn’t belong to me, but I believe in what I’m doing and make my presentation to the Historic Landmark’s Board in the County Administration Building.

there’s a few folks milling around.. This should be a breeze! The meeting was called to order by Chair Lex Palmer and the third item on the agenda was the Santa business, it was my turn!

I stood at one end of the huge table in the stately Historic Landmarks meeting room and the five commission members sat at the other end. The secretary turned on the tape recorder and away we went.

So I stood up and started talking… " I live in Carpinteria about a half mile from Santa Claus Lane..I can even see Santa from my balcony! Please save him, he’s cool and historic" and gave my list of reasons, wondering when Santa’s owner would arrive to check me out....

Saturday, December 15, 2012

high tide, green grass

and December's children....

I went into Santa the Harbor area to track the King tide from SB to was cool.. it was awesome....

I went out and watched it..the water changed quick and minute it looks tame and the next minute it's chasing me back into the sand...really it was like a mini tsunami.....the waves got so big so quick!!

and the water as you see here created a crown shape; like a king would wear..hence King Tide!!

the tides made their way up to the parking lots in some areas and the ocean was really rocking at Santa Claus Lane beach and smelled so good....

then I heard about all those little kids....massacred in elementary school by a 20-year old guy living with his mother... 20-year old guys should never live with their mothers...was it an Oedipus Complex? well he killed her too and some other adults at the school...but the I can't even comprehend what happened in wasn't the guns.. a gun is tool..I love guns..but in the wrong hands, anything can become a weapon of destruction...

this is a mental issue..a family issue...this happened not because there's not enough God in schools as preacher Huckabee tried to suggest..always pitching for Jesus...well, devout religious families produce crazy-killer offspring too....remember the Childers case in Santa Barbara years ago...

I was in elementary school once and always felt protected by the adults..the teachers....even as kids we fantasized about our blonde teacher.....Miss she was hot!! this was about 5th grade..then President Kennedy got shot....and we kids dealt with it..and those kids in Conn will deal with it, as unexplainable as it is....

but how do you tell school kids that a madman came in and killed twenty of their classmates? In a nice American town?

I don't know.... but I think I'll go to the beach again today..and talk a walk with all those kids....

Friday, December 14, 2012

Here Comes Santa Claus

here comes Santa Claus ...right down Santa Claus Lane!


well I'd like to wish a Merry Christmas to Channelkeeper and esp Princess Kira for protecting our beaches.. and I'd like to thank the tax exempt non profit with their own boat for suing the city of Santa Barbara to raise rates thinking that would stop overflowing manholes..whoops you missed the spill at Leadbetter caused by a private lateral! oh well...

and thanks for going out everyday and taking care of business..oh yeah you don't really the city workers do!

anyway Channelkeeper..umm..ahh..thanks for being there and doing whatever it is you do...

Love Mick...err, I mean Santa...

Thursday, December 13, 2012

the princess and the pea

"Being born in a duck yard does not matter, if only you are hatched from a swan's egg."

so according to another
nonprofit wanker
Lanny Ebenstein
who is still hanging on at the News-Press writing guest editorials..according to ex-teacher Lanny you shouldn't be allowed to graduate from high school until you've investigated opportunities at SBCC or other colleges! he says this new graduation requirement should be discussed at an "Education Summit...

so if you're a straight A student, you can't graduate from High School until you've investigated opportunities of colleges...what are you smoking Lanny...this is America...what kind of facist rule have you laid down for the students....can you imagine not being allowed to graduate because you didn't investigate.....if you don't investigate, you don't graduate!!

hahahahaah! what a dumbass Lanny is...and this editorial was on the heels of Joe Armendariz's letter to the obvious these two stoners want the kids to be as stupid as they are!
now, if any type of requirement like this were to happen, I would immediately file a lawsuit and get this pothead into court...rewriting the graduation requirements for such a reason as that is ....weird...

so Princess Kira is mad again at the City of Santa Barbara because they are not working fast enough to rehab the sewer lines around town...actually the city has been rehabbing lines for years but the nonprofit Channelkeeper sued to raise taxes to quicken the rehab pace....these phony environmentalists..this armchair princess needs to suit up and work with the City Distribution and Collection crew for a month and see if she can cut it...she will gain some education and appreciation of what tax money really does...she'll get dirty, but it will do her some good...until then, she's simply a silly pampered Princess.....and I hear that Channelkeeper is selling accessories like Princess Kira costumes and  dildos called "The Snake" now to raise money!! The Snake was named after the thingies that unclog sewer lines!! nonprofits..I tell ya

if someone played a joke on me I wouldn't kill myself like that poor nurse in England...she was Indian, pretty and a devout Catholic who was so ashamed she whacked herself...

she should have called me first.. I would hunt down the jokers who did it... and slit their throats, cut their hearts out and roast their livers..or something to that effect....then I'd gotta be able to laugh at yourself...laugh, and the whole world laughs with you, that's what I say....

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

who knows what tomorrow may bring

If for just one moment you could step outside your mind
And float across the ceiling, I don't think the folks would mind

isn't it ironic that the glory days of the News-Press, publisher Thomas Storke outed the John Birch Society in the area....the Birchers were ultra-conservative anti-gov't racist white folks and have a great deal in common with the Tea Party birthers...Birchers and Birthers...and isn't it ironic that Wendy P McCaw owns today's News-Press and supported Orly Taitz, the Birther Queen, the last time she ran for public office! fear is what these people use to justify invasions of sovereign countries..I think Wendy P McCaw is a member of the John Birch Society...
 In 1961, after the
John Birch Society attacked the Eisenhower administration and U.S. Chief Justice Earl Warren as being communists, Storke responded with a caustic series of editorials in the News-Press which won him popular acclaim as well as a number of prizes. These included the Pulitzer Prize in Journalism, for Editorial Writing in 1962, the Elijah Parish Lovejoy Award and an honorary Doctor of Laws degree from Colby College....

Eisenhower warned of America's Military Industrial Complex sticking our nose in everybody's business...but of course we never seem to learn....

and no mention of Edhat founder Peter Sklar's death in the News-Press..oh Wendy, you're such a class act

but I can see why..the News-Press online presence is very I look at Tomorrow's News Today...WTF does that mean? how do they know what tomorrow's news is?

oh and I see embattled and shamed ex-Carp city councilman Joe Armendariz wrote a letter to the News-Press...Joe is still director of the shady nonprofit Santa Barbara County Taxpayers Association...I guess these guys will never learn...but anyway Joe wants everyone to know he's concerned about students and their welfare and some members of the SBCTA are board members of our community schools! oh really..I'll have to look into that...but Joe..before you preach, you need to deal first with your own family issues which show up in the civil and criminal court calendars on a regular basis..that's wasting taxpayer money, Joe!!!

and then they got a pic of a couple of clowns mixing drinks for at a restaurant bar for the next DUI....

bartenders are now called "mixologists" that's just silly..  I call them simple-minded drug pushers...