oh well

now back to our story....

 

At one point I was going to ask Ellen DeGeneres to help with the Save Santa Cause, but I only had the nerve to ask her to pose for a photo! She was shopping at an antique store in Summerland and was very cool about it. She knows how to smile for the camera!

 

I decide to do my own poll of Carpinterians to see how they felt about Santa and Santa Claus Lane and created a newsletter-Carpinteriacoyotereview.com- to track this story. Carpinterians were in favor of keeping Santa 10 to 1! I talked to people on the street "He’s a legend!" said one lady. "He’s an icon, they can’t kill him!" said another. At least 100 people signed a petition to keep Santa on Santa Claus Lane. Many more sent letters to the Planning Commission and Board of Supervisors. Fuel to the fire!

OKAY… I decided to see what I could do to fight these developers. I wrote a letter to the County Planning Department and they sent me some information on Santa Claus Lane which was part of the mossy but interesting TORO CANYON PLAN draft from the 1980s. Included in the packet were tables of historically significant resources in the area, like the Memorial Oaks and a cemetery, and Santa Claus Lane was among them..GOOD.. I thought. The Santa building was potentially an historic landmark! Hey, if they can landmark trees and cemeteries, why not Santa? That would provide him more protection from development.



Edward Cella of the Pearl Chase Society and
Alex Cole of the Historic Landmarks Commission
 


Next I wrote to the county historic landmarks commission and wanted to know the process by which properties are landmarked. They sent me a nomination form, I filled it out with Santa as the nominated dude and sent it back. A couple months passed and they sent it back-rejected! I didn’t complete it to their standards..but mainly because one old lady on the board did not want Santa to be landmarked.(she must have thought I was a low-life for even trying..she never acknowledged me at the meetings!)

I filled it out again and they sent it back again..I forgot to dot an "i" was the excuse this time. Who are these fuckheads ?? I thought to myself.

Then I got a call from one of the Landmark Commissioners. She made some suggestions since my nominations were being rejected. I also asked her if I could nominate a property against the owner’s wishes and she said yes.

♫ " So baby, meet me by the Big "O"! ♫

Finally on the third attempt, I added a bunch of information from the old Toro Canyon plan historic section, they accepted it and set up a date for me to appear and present my case. Finally!

I didn’t understand the significance of the sculpture in front of the Santa Barbara County Administration Building, even though I glanced at it many times during the hearings. It’s a sexual thing! It’s gotta be! That’s the rumor floating around among those in the know, who informed me of the connection.

I was told by Alex Cole, a member of the Historic Landmarks Commission who was very helpful in guiding me through the bureaucracy, that the owner of the Santa figure or his representative would be there to debate me. Okay, great..I get to meet this little shit who wants to ruin Santa Claus Lane.

So I show up… a little nervous at the prospect of trying to save something that doesn’t belong to me, but I believe in what I’m doing and make my presentation to the Historic Landmark’s Board in the County Administration Building.

there’s a few folks milling around.. This should be a breeze! The meeting was called to order by Chair Lex Palmer and the third item on the agenda was the Santa business, it was my turn!

I stood at one end of the huge table in the stately Historic Landmarks meeting room and the five commission members sat at the other end. The secretary turned on the tape recorder and away we went.

So I stood up and started talking… " I live in Carpinteria about a half mile from Santa Claus Lane..I can even see Santa from my balcony! Please save him, he’s cool and historic" and gave my list of reasons, wondering when Santa’s owner would arrive to check me out....