I walk the line

I keep my eyes wide open all the time....

The Toro Canyon Plan hearings were fun, interesting, and sometimes boring. Greg Mohr of the Santa Barbara County Planning Department is a very smooth talker and remained pretty calm while the storm was blowing around him. He presented his plan week after week to the planning commissioners and ultimately to the Board of Supervisors. Helping him on the history section of the plan was Heather Baker.

Ms. Baker did a good job of pointing out the historical significance of Santa Claus Lane and she’s pretty easy to look at, too... I figured that could work to Santa’s advantage, since people were calling him UGLY..kind of a beauty and the beast thing! She presented some sound reasons to keep Santa where he is, which gave the Santa Supporters at least a little hope, anyway. I was thrilled when knowledgeable folks like local activist Laura Funkhouser (another advantage to Santa) and John English from the L.A Conservancy came to speak on the virtues of roadside vernacular architecture. They definitely made an impression, enough to confound the board members from reaching a consensus about getting rid of Santa! Ms. Funkhouser’s article on Santa Claus Lane and the state of our little beach cities paradise really nails it. I’ve included her article in this story. Other folks talked to the commissioners and supervisors..some for and some against Santa. But things were heating up. Property owners were pissed!

A few members of various Boards decided to call it quits, even the Deputy Director of the Planning Department, due to the scrutiny they were receiving from the Toro Canyon Plan..this wasn’t a peace and love fest…people were angry that their properties were going to be chopped up and regulated. A lot of these folks are used to getting their own way so there was a lot of whining and lawsuits threatened.

I Walk the Line.....I had to walk a thin line throughout the hearings..I wanted to save Santa but some of the policies in the Toro Canyon Plan were getting scary, so I didn’t want to piss Greg and Heather off too much by criticizing their plan (they started to add affordable housing and park-n-rides to the plan). I needed them to save Santa. I learned the fine art of compromise. Let them rezone Santa Claus Lane as long as they keep Santa where he is. And since I was faced with this duality within, I didn’t participate in the public discussions as much as I should have. In the end, they (the county) caved to the business owner’s demands.

The Coastal Commission required a Coastal Development Permit for changes to coastal structures and Kent’s lawyers didn’t have a permit. To get one would elongate the process with more hearings and the owners wanted Santa gone now!

Well, the doc finally came up with an excuse that will allow him to remove Santa.. he claimed the statue was "unsafe" because of a roof leak! And he had to sue the county to make that one stick! All the while, the place was open for business. If he was really concerned about the employees and patrons, he would have closed it on his own! But the County Building Inspector checked out the structure and agreed with Kent, and said Santa’s gotta go. I’m certain that he was just a county guy under some pressure to end the Santa saga and avoid a lawsuit. So the county settled.

Why Don’t You Take a Picture, It Lasts Longer

As it stands now, the remains of Santa Claus Lane will be photo-documented (by Kent’s people no less, what a guy!) and archived at the Carpinteria Historical Museum. I know change is inevitable, but in this case, it’s inevitably stupid!

Greg Mohr of the County Planning Department said it’s a "win/win" situation for everyone involved! No Greg, it’s a win/lose situation. The doctor wins and the friends of Santa Claus Lane lose. But if I get any pangs of nostalgia, I can visit the Carpinteria Museum of History, that, by the way, should have jumped at the chance to put Santa in its museum.

One of my goals in attempting to save Santa Claus Lane was to curb the excessive growth in this area and the influx of the idiot-rich. I make a distinction between the idiot-rich and the cool-rich…one builds with ego and money, the other builds with restraint and creativity. But urbanization is spreading like cancer. Planning Commissioners and Architectural Review Boards are becoming yesmen and women to developers. Some of the commissioners have bought houses in the new developments and who knows what kinds of shady deals are taking place!

Some folks claim it’s none of my business what a property owner does with his property. I tended to agree until I became a property owner. If we let developers do whatever they want, then they will! And they may do it right next to your house. Remain silent at your own peril!

People want to cut down Eucalyptus trees because they are non-native, they want to build without restraint, they want to cut down trees to "improve" views. Silly whims. This is why a Toro Canyon Plan is needed..to protect the area from the whims of thoughtless egomaniacs! But we need to be careful we don’t plan it to death....

The Cottages in Summerland, Summerland Heights, the proposed Lagunitas in Carpinteria, Goleta’s Marketplace..all backlogged when water was scarce..now the floodgate’s are opening! Who’s gonna stop them? ME? I can’t buy everything, so the county needs to help! And of course it’s happening everywhere… One of my favorite places, Monterey, is experiencing the same influx of the idiot-rich and Barbara Evans created a website to try to save the beautiful bay area…www.Evansmonterey.com.

The bottom line is there are too many people in California and they’re not all illegal immigrants! Big white families driving gas-guzzling Suburbans, not out of necessity, but out of status seeking! Orange County transplants moving up here to kill the small town, beach city atmosphere that I and many others love. Agriculture must be preserved at all costs! Why? Because Carpinteria’s character is totally endangered and the Supervisors have already started to take the agriculture land away! Maybe I should stop complaining and run for local office!

I care about the area in which I live and wish only to protect it from opportunistic, greedy developers as they drool over our coastline and mountains and cram in more people than necessary. So we lost the Santa fight, there will be plenty others, and I’ll be better prepared for the game!

after the hearings, Robert Maxim stepped in to save the Santa statue from demolition and find it a new home in Oxnard.. a place called Nyeland Acres...not exactly what I had in mind...but better than burning him...Nyeland Acres was known for some rowdy gang activity and Santa got shot his first year there! some low IQ idiot shot him with gun! however, the big red Santa has always been a survivor and things have improved in Nyeland Acres...kids visit the statue every Christmas and he brings some good cheer to a place that really needed it....and I'm truly grateful to the folks who brought some whimsy to California... Santa Claus Lane in Carpinteria