Sunday, July 30, 2017

Surfin' USA

everybody's gone surfin'

there's alot of talk about sharks lately and why they are it global warming? the seal rookery in Carpinteria? your guess is as good as mine...

I haben't seen any sharks what do I have to do, rub anchovy paste all over my body to attract a shark??

the problem isn't any of the above..I mean I see more UPS trucks on the road but that's not because of global warming, but rather

ok so SURFERS are the problem...they hang out on the edge of the ocean where sharks cruise, and then someone gets bit and they close the beaches for a day..but there is only one creature with the power and clout to close beaches for a month or a whole summer season and that creature is the Snowy Plover!!

so my point is BAN SURFING and surfers and the shark issue will go away...

oh and paddle boarders and kayakers too

Monday, July 24, 2017

Baby Driver

I wonder how your engines feel...

the fog was pernicious..the fog is pernicious..last night it was cold and pernicious..Mark Twain once said the coldest winter he ever spent was summer in San Francisco..well, Mark Twain never visited Carpinteria

to escape the fog, I used to hang out on Mountain Drive so I drove up there and was greeted by the warm sun and hippie vibes..lots of construction and houses for it up here but with the fires, buying is a gamble..but still, no place like it


so I drive on past Cold Springs Trail and see some cars and cops in the middle of the road, by Hot Springs Road...I get closer and see a Porsche and a big Chevy Pick-Up crashed into each other..I can't understand this..there's no traffic up here and yet these folks crash into each other

no injuries, the Chevy looks ok..but the Porsche front end is smashed..the car looks to be upscale, maybe over $80,000!

for rich, pernicious people

a bad investment if you don't know how to drive

Friday, July 21, 2017

You Wear It Well

a little out of time but I don't mind

no sooner than Paul Ryan's sexual fetishes come to light (sleeveless blouses and open-toe shoes), the LPGA is working on its own dress code for lady golfers!

I love watching ladies golf but the men look like sissies on the golf course because golf is a women's sport...Michelle Wie, Lexi Thompson Suzanne Pettersen..I hope they come to the Montecito Country Club for a tournament...

the LPGA officials are basically some old wart-hoggish women and these dress codes are stupid...

totally repressive

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Sympathy For the Devil

please allow me to introduce myself


Nativists plan to shut down Coronado Butterfly Preserve in Goleta to chop down all most of the eucalyptus trees so I read in Noozhawk...the Goleta city staff says the trees are dead and dying and infested with pests due to the drought....the staff is concerned with public safety and will plant native trees...they say the monarch butterflies are not using the eucalyptus grove anymore..

ok lots of red flags here...this is common native-speak and the real reason for the panic is to go native..nativism..biodiversity..get rid of the non-natives and it's all BULLSHIT!!!


a tree being called non-native is no reason to destroy the butterfly habitat...I've surveyed many blue gums on the Carp Bluffs and they look healthy..I know the City of Carp is just itching to get rid of them, these devil trees, but they fare better than the natives as do the Tamarisk trees...

so GOLETA...WAKE UP..this is an effort to get rid of non-native eucs in favor of natives under the guise of "safety" many people have been killed at the Coronado Preserve from a eucalyptus tree? NONE!! these people are using FEAR to get rid of the blue gums

I knew one day these native idiots would find an excuse to kill the eucs and now that day has arrived

remember, Hitler was a nativist..all those animals on the Channel Islands were killed by nativists

it will be a crime against Nature if the City of Goleta planners gets away with this Blitzkrieg travesty

goddamn Nazis

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Message in a Bottle

sending out an SOS

hey KTYD.. I found a message in a bottle..lemme read it you you...





Big Ol' Jet Airliner

don't carry me too far away

ok so the KTYD morning show is getting a little bit better but is still slightly annoying..the lady with the booze/cigarette/ old lady voice and the chirpy new guy....

but the thing that really bothers me is the censorship of certain songs..."Big Ol' Jet Airliner" with this line "That I don't want to get caught up in any of that, Funky shit goin' down in the city" they blotted out the word "shit"

here's the song as the writer, Steve Miller, intended!!

and on Pink Floyd's "Money" they blot out the word "bullshit"....

but when the Who sings "who the fuck are you on "Who Are You?" that's ok..."fuck" is ok

you know what I think??

I think that is fucking bullshit

Sunday, July 16, 2017

C'est Si Bon

C'est si bon / Lovers say that in France / When they thrill to romance / It means that it's so good

with Trump embarrassing America on his recent trip to France with his groping and grabbing and doltish behavior, I rushed over to the French Festival in wonderful Oak Park to apologize to my Parisian friends...


non je ne regrette rien and all is forgiven

and what is with this Trump chicken-shit dodging the press on TV?? now press conferences are done with no cameras!! so much for transparency

it's French Festival weekend and I always love going Saturday morning for an hour or so...listen to some baroque or jazz, drink cafe au lait and get some baguettes...

and a French woman to tickle my fancy would be nice.. ie a French Tickler..French gals have a certain 'je ne sais quoi' so I ask this Parisian chick what is it that French women possess? and you know what she says to me? she says "je ne sais quoi"

ok..well the weather is weird due to the all the fires in the hills.. I remember years ago they used to do controlled burns in the back country and I loved the way it smelled... nowadays they wait for a big fire to burn what should have been burned in a control burn!! still the ground crews and air crews are pretty awesome..those pilots are tres bien!!

the Baron

hey there's Baron Ron Heron, the local radio legend....KACY- THE BOSS OF THE BEACH and later in those days was pretty cool and now he works for Wendy at AM 1290...I guess everyman needs his bread and butter... or du pain et du beurre

so I watch the French festival folks and disappear myself into the French culture for awhile..

tout suite

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Elusive Butterfly

you might wake up one morning to the sound of something moving past your window in the wind


the KTYD morning show is now almost unlistenable...ugh!! talk less and play good music and get out of the hard can that be??

the firefighters are moving up and down the highway and taking care of business up north...remember the News-Press is anti-union/anti-public worker and doesn't believe the first responders/firefighters should have pensions and benefits!!

now Wendy's chief anti-gov't suck-up Scott Steepleton over at the News-Press is knee deep in 'targate'...he's been doing the same bogus front page story about Greka Oil and its successor HVI who've tried to pin those chronic oil leaks a few years ago on the State of California..the case is nicknamed Targate and highlights how crazy the judicial system is..they used three retired judges, one who thinks the case is worse than Watergate..WATERGATE!!!

then they hand everything over to a magistrate, then appeals happen and....allegedly, the state mishandled some evidence or emails and some flunky judge over-reacted, called the sitch worse that Watergate and said the state should pay fees million the oil company lawyers!!

but California is having none of it and now Scott keeps this convoluted story front and center digging a deeper hole...this guy is a total hack as Greka continues to try and dodge responsibilty for all those oil spills and the conservatives keep spinning and all because of Brooks Firestone who leases the land to the oil people!

this is the dumbest story the News-Press has ever done!!

I went thru Montecito and don't recognize Coast Village Road..they sold it out to developers..all the mojo is all gone

so to deal with these things, I went for a hike and came across a nice butterfly...after some research, I found it is a Lorquin's Admiral

don't be concerned, it will not harm you

Thursday, July 6, 2017

My Obsession

I think I blew it now, confession

look, Trump hates the "fake"media because they exposed his fake fraud university, Trump University and busted him for his "grab their pussies" comment....hence, Trump's obssession

my obsession is multi-colored

[oh and another thing..Trump's got a "voter fraud" probe going because Hillary won the popular vote..the News-Press "reported" that California is not complying with the probe..what the News-Press didn't report is so far more than 20 states are not complying...the probe is just a nonsensical waste of tax money]

so I haven't seen the osprey at the marsh in the last few days...usually, they catch fish and eat them on a log in the middle of the marsh...then I see where the Ojai Raptor Center (donation check is in the mail for this excellent nonprofit) rescued an osprey from Santa Monica or Franklin creek...the creeks are both close to the marsh....the osprey snared a big three-pronged hook/lure in its bloody it can't catch prey and it can't eat without fully functioning legs/talons

so probably it's one of the birds from the did that happen I wonder..did some fisherman at Carp beach by the marsh hook the bird and/or cut the line, leaving the injured bird to fly off and crash in the creek?

the bigger question is when shore fishing why do they need a big three-pronged treble hook..are they trying to catch a fucking whale?? is cutting lines a common practice?? it is idiotic...

I hope the osprey heals ok but I bet he'll never come back to the marsh..I get to look with my binocs at some idiot fishing with a 3-pronged hook, but I don't get to see the osprey soar above me anymore

that doesn't seem right

Tuesday, July 4, 2017

Tangled Up In Blue

she was married when we first met, soon to be divorced

you can tell it's the 4th of July with all the white folks coming to town...they are in Carp and SB and they walk down the street..they got white legs and tatoos and one of the gals is always pregnant and it's disgusting, the family thing

then there's the older couple pushing a baby stroller except there's no baby in the stoller, there's a dog! a fucking dog!! if Charlie Manson could have forced a race war, the blacks would've won

then there's the speed boat crashing into Stearn's Wharf...who crashes a speedboat into Stearn's Wharf? white people

foxtails, you hate 'em..I hate 'em too..they stick in my socks and boots when I hike and are a pain to deal with..they are the one weed I want the gov't to get rid of plus they can kill your dog..biodiversity is where it's at

anyway, from one dog to another ...HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!

I guess

Saturday, July 1, 2017

Pretty Vacant

There's no point in asking / You'll get no reply

another high ranking Vatican cardinal accused of sexual abuse of children..geez, maybe Trump ought to extend the travel ban to Italy! you know, to keep American kids safe


ok so I know now why Wendy and Nipper got honored with a Patriot's all because of Mr.Wimpy!! the whole fiasco was his idea as the truth unfolded on his public TV show...he had Nipper as a guest...I watched in horror as Mr. Wimpy crawled up Nipper's ass and they both glowed about Wendy and her love of Santa Barbara and all she gives and how much Nipper loves her and what a brilliant lady she is and what a great speaker she is...well, luckily, they showed some low quality video of the event which was held at the La Cumbre Cuntry Club...Nipper says Wendy will come out of her shell only when she's comfortable and trusts people which is not exactly a good trait for a the real world, you live by your wits, not on your rich ex-husband's money....but this is Wendy McCuckoo

they had some speakers like Mike Stoker..poor Mike, former county supervisor now a Wendy with Wendy's Young Miss America Foundation!! and Nipper spoke about how honored he was to have Wendy as his girlfriend...he looks over at her from the podium and says "I love YOU!" and Wendy's face is totally blank

and finally we get to see Wendy speak..I was expecting a great fiery speech but no... she stammered and spoke in a weird monotone drone-type voice that gave me a chill..a bad chill

this chick is DOA