well it's a free country and I go where I want when I want, you got that? and besides I really don't spend that much time in Santa Barbara...let's take a look at how much time I really do spend per week in Santa Barbara, ok? just for fun...
so there's 7 days in a week and 24 hrs/day so that makes 168 hrs in a week....I sleep about 8 hours per night so that leaves me with 56 hours per week when I'm unconscious....ok so that leaves me with 112 conscious hours ie hours when I'm awake and can do something besides snore and drool...
so let's say I need something from Trader Joes..well they ain't got one in Carp so I go to Santa Barbara..average time spent in SB is about an hour....then I gotta go to Tri County Produce once per week..that's another hour..so there's 2 hours per week so far...then I like to go to the Harbor or somewhere for fun that's another hour so that makes 3 hours per week, on the average...the rest of the time I spend in Carpinteria where I live..
ok so let's see..out of 168 hours per week, I spend about 3 hours in Santa Barbara...time after time... so you see in reality I actually spend very little time in Santa Barbara...
and you're lucky to have me...
4 comments:
But you didn't factor in all the mental time -- the time you spend thinking about and writing about Santa Barbara. And what about all those dreams?
are you calling me mental??
mick, santa barbara is a very effeminate city, dominated by strong women (mayor helen, mccraw, mccune, kathy ireland, dr. laura) and populated by fey men (steepleton, von wienerschlurper, towbes, lance *lance!* and various molested ex scouts and altar bois with smooth chests, shaved pubises and bleached rectums). maybe that's why you like to penetrate the city's borders both physically and with your words, which you spread like life-sustaining spermatazoa, glazing your targets as a male salmon would fertilize freshly deposited roe. ventura and especially oxnard are macho towns and certainly carp has more cajones than sb, which let's face it, is in dire need of your unapologetically masculine ministrations. sow your oats man. nothing less than the survival of the species is at stake.
now you're talkin!!!!
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