can I get a witness?

oh boy I got a summons for jury duty....I need to call them tomorrow night to see if I have to show up on Monday morning...

well let's see my schedule is clear for awhile so I may be actually looking forward to this..the only problem is the time wasted by the judges and lawyers trying to determine if I'm fit to serve...I remember my last jury duty was not a nice experience...I went to the jury sitting room and waited and waited and was ushered into another room where I got questioned and then they said I could go but I thought they meant I could go home but nooooo they meant I could go sit down until the next round of questions...oh..well they called me next day and the lady gave me hell for leaving and I told her to suck my dick it's not my problem if she can't communicate effectively... she hung up on me!!

honestly, the jury system better be in better shape this time or the judges and lawyers and clerks are gonna get an earful from me you better believe it!!!

I will cut thru their bullshit quick this time..no more pleasantries..you want me on your jury then you gotta know some things....

drunk drivers: how do I feel about drunk drivers, Judge? well I feel that if a cop pulls someone over for DUI, they are probably guilty...and after the Peter Lance fiasco, I will say guilty until proven innocent so factor that into your decision if I can render a fair verdict

child abusers: kill 'em!

pot smokers: guilty dude!!

labor law breakers: now why the fuck is Wendy getting off scott free Judge when she broke the law??? Judge, can you answer me that?? and WTF is up with Judge Brian Hill??

ok well that's just a few issues I'll bring up at my vetting and I hope it'll be entertaining for my fellow jurors...who are all probably gonna be potheads and drunks anyway!!