don't go near the shore....
without drawing even a one milliliter sample from the bodies of water in question, I have determined a course of action for the water quality issues at East Beach area in Santa Barbara at no cost to the taxpayer!!
here's my report
date: June 13th, 2012
unusual circumstances: it stinks down here by the beautiful Clark Estate and there's no excuse for it!!
weather: cool and overcast
populations in close proximity to water: people, sea gulls, apes, monkeys, giraffes, elephants, fish, dolphins, snow leopard, otters..
creek at East Beach: there is a creek by the condos that flows to ocean....the creek water looks good and clear and gets the benefit of a tidal flush..there were many seagulls and birdie footprints surrounding the creek...I observed some of the birds doo doo in the creek ..next to the sand....any sample taken from this area would indicate high coliform numbers, from a warm-blooded animal...
Bird Refuge: this body of water borders the Zoo and meanders around for a few acres ....the water was murky and dark yellowy green and had a sour stinky disgusting smell, like my last girlfriend!
there's a sluice gate that separates the Bird Refuge water from the ocean water, but I'm certain it leaks..on the other side of the road, the beach side, there was more stinky stagnant water...unfortunately, the ocean doesn't quite get to this water...too much of a sand berm..so the water here and in the Bird Lake does not get the benefit of a tidal flush
there are many issues here and the question comes down to what is the Bird Refuge? is it a lake? a marsh? a lagoon? a slog.....no it's not..what it is is a giant septic tank for birds and other critters....can you imagine an elephant taking a dump in the refuge? it's the human equivalent of Nancy Crawford- Hall leaving a floater in the community pool! you gotta close it for a few days and super-chlorinate until bacteria levels come down...
the city may have ideas about spending huge amounts of money ripping out plants at the Bird Refuge and planting natives..this will have no affect on the flow issues..some plants are good at removing pollutants, like water hyacinths, but they are non-native so the creeks committee won't use them!! they should be planted and monitored as part of a maintenance program if the lake is to remain fresh water
conclusion
if we don't follow natures's rules, we get a big bird septic tank by the beach... it stinks right now.... it seems to me like the Bird Refuge should be a Salt Marsh....allow the natural tidal flushes that will keep the water quality good and encourage marsh plants to thrive ...and it will attract more birds and be an environmental wonder like the Carp Salt Marsh....
I suggest the gals from Channelkeeper shuffle over to the Bird Refuge with their cute little asses and use the money they got from the city to plant some water hyacinths in the Bird Refuge..or better yet, they can open that big sluice gate valve and let the tides take care of the job...it won't cost a thing except a little sweat rolling down their titties!!
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