strange brew....

Tea Party protest rally turns into a big dud...

I heard that the Teabaggers were descending on Santa Barbara like a plague of locusts to protest against Obama's healthcare for Americans..they will march from De La Guerra Plaza and end up at the Courthouse..so I'm told. Ok, I'll check it out, give up a few hours on a beautiful Saturday afternoon...so I go into Paradise Found and get some hippie incense and smudge sticks, then I go to the library and get a brand new library card for a buck and check out a book called "the Life of William James"..it might help me understand the Teabaggers better beecuz he's a modernist philosopher....so I go sit in front of the County Engineering Blgd with a couple of lizards to keep me company..I wait..and wait... hey, there's a few old broads with kill the bill signs who obviously haven't had a good fuck ever..this is a fact..the Tea Party movement is 55% women who haven't been properly fucked ever in their lives and now it's too late: they are fat and dumpy looking..wow..that is a sad stat!
...it's still Saturday and 3:10 pm and there's more American Flags out front than people..gee all you need is one..the one that flies high above the Courthouse....show some respect! Hey! there's a teabagger driving a beat up old Toyota! TRAITOR!!!
so I wait some more..I see Chris Mitchum, idiot son of the great actor Robert Mitchum...Cape Fear and Heaven Knows Mr. Allison were two good ones...so it's 3:30pm and only about 15 people are there so I left...I head to the beach and that's where everyone is..the essence of southern California living is hanging out at the beach on a warm Saturday afternoon...and the Tea Party decides to hold a protest rally!! get a clue!! I did make a friend with a cute little dog who was owned by a nice Mexican lady..they had nothing to do with tea!
the event at the Courthouse was supposed to start at 3:00 pm according to the sponsor, the Tea Party and Culpepper Society...I'm tellin' ya I don't know where these people have been hiding but it is getting weirder in that trailer park!!
eat me Ann....
so then we got Ann Coulter poster girl for Republicanas with eating disorders on the front page of the News-Press. Annie gave a talk at, where else, Wendy McCuckoo's Reagan Ranch Center..Ann spends most of her time trying to shock people with offensive terms that were used years ago by George Carlin and Lenny Bruce..this is obviously new territory for neocons..it makes them feel less dorky, I think... as for Ann, I wouldn't go near that dried out pussy without a fire hose!!
Jesus Loves Clark!
then we got Clark Vandeventer shlepping and praising Jesus at the Yacht Club trying to get more money from old white and dead people..this guy makes a living keeping Reagan alive! Follow the money and we see that Ann Coulter wouldn't have a career doing nothing without Rupert Murdoch's help and Clark wouldn't have a career without help from his pastor daddy and rich conservatives...
Crosby Stills and Palin??
Sarah Palin and friends will descend on Vegas to protest Harry Reid..Sarah dubbs this event a "conservative Woodstock"...well, ok..Harry's kind of a dweeb so who cares if he loses the election...Sarah is taking a page from Cindy Sheehan's book of traveling around and camping in your political enemy's front yard...I think it's kinda cool! one point for Sarah!
　
but... while the rest of America works for a living and plays on the weekends, these folks are caravaning around, raising money to "repeal the healthcare bill" which won't happen, and generally showing America how stupid they are, especially in large numbers! and they need to read section 8 of the Constitution..all of it, not just one sentence!! the Powers of Congress are vast!!
Gee folks, if you're gonna protest or run for office, you need to get a little better at communicating, plan a little better...take it to the streets instead of the Reagan Ranch Center and sponsorships by the Hope Ranch/ Montecito Republicans....methinks thou doth not know how to protest worth a proper fuck...