the Sound of Mucous...

the hills are alive with allergens....ahem..ahemmm...uhgugh..kwaaaaaak..pitui... excuse me folks but these hot dry days are making me hack....

speaking of hacks...
gone are the days when the News-Press had some pull with locals ampersand got a few election outcomes right..or most of their endorsements won...but lately, with Wendy's ownership, most of their pet candidates lose...why? how can these people be so out of touch? I don't know..wait maybe I do..their readership.....remember? the middle aged ladies who make over 100 grand per year and have no kids...VAMPIRES! have you seen Wendy walk down the street during the witch trials..her shoes never touched the sidewalk, it seemed..that a sign she's a vampire..I'm serious! ever see her eyes? and the hair..what's that about..it's about vampires, that's what and I would like to extend an olive branch to the News-Press and help them find new uses for their blood sucking publication...

how about
a little dress for Buddha...
or a roll of TP for your butt..
or roll it up to make a sharp paper knife and distribute to the prisoners to regulate jail population..
a spitoon (that's what I use it for!!)
a fly swatter!
a tray to capture the blood when you sacrifice someone..
a punching bag..
a sewer line...
these are a few of my favorite things!

you win again...

thanks to KCAL 9 for good coverage..KEYT was ok but reported Mike Stoker as beating Das Williams... and AM 1290 News-Press radio as usual SUCKED..they kept saying they didn't have any results to report while the county had those numbers on Channel 20!! dumbasses!!!

obviously, I have no control over what happens in Kentucky, but if those losers want to elect a quack white supremacist, that's their deal...and if the bible belt wants drunken fool John Boehner as speaker of the House again, ok...but, the Republicans will rule the House and at least they get to stay in the servant's quarters while the Dems rule the roost....
and once again, California must lead the way..after two disasterous terms as governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger will retire to his ranch house in the hills of Carp...Californians, in their wisdom, elected the right crew...they know that government is not the enemy, and will not allow greedy corporate thieves like Fiorina and Whitman to continue raping the resources of this state..and stupid public employees will not be tolerated, either...
Stoked on Stoker? no..but I was worried that Das may have lost his edge by becoming a born again Christian...you must never, ever lose your edge!!

Miltary Madness
Teabagger Tom Watson apparently sent his tea-militia to Isla Vista to harass students!
He probably called the News-Press hotline complaining about voter fraud ..I guarantee he and the News-Press orchestrated this raid...this dude is a loser and Capps kicked his ass!!
the Doobie Brothers...
Measure S failed because Sheriff Brown and Lanny Ebenstein are a couple of doobie dunces!!!
speaking of Lanny...he was back on the News-Press idiotorial page, perhaps sensing that pot will be legalized, NOT!! and now he repeats his claims that public employees' day of reckoning is at hand..Lanny knows all about days of reckoning when 14 of his Eureka neighbors sued him for operating a grow house.. and they won...Lanny's got to pay up big time..
so now he's back and sore at the public employees again!! apparently, the public sector makes more than the private sector so they want to reduce across the board compensation..now, I don't know how the election is going to accomplish this but if the private sector is so strapped for cash, why don't they do what Lanny does..operate grow houses for profit!! then, maybe they can catch up with the public workers la vida loca!!
American politics...is there anything more beautiful??

WE WIN! WE WIN!!

so long Harry Truman..goddam it's hard to find an honest man...

Tea Party wins big...
　
New York Times declared, "Thomas E. Dewey’s Election as President is a Foregone Conclusion." Top pollsters predicted a Dewey win, as did leading national political writers. In fact, with the exception of Truman, everyone else was certain Dewey would be elected. Months before the election, Life ran a cover of a picture of Dewey with a caption that read, "The Next President of the United States." Headline after headline screamed Dewey as President.
Truman presented a proposal to the Congress in February before the election that would guarantee the rights of blacks. This created conflict among the Democratic Party. At the convention, all of the Mississippi and half of the Alabama delegates walked out, for a total of 35, when Truman was praised for his "courageous stand on civil rights." This lead to the split of the Party and the emergence of the Dixiecrats. South Carolina Governor Strom Thurmond ran on the Party’s ticket. The Dixiecrats hoped to cause enough split in order to throw the election into the House, and therefore the South could prevent a civil-rights supporter from being elected.
the similarities between the Dixiecrats and the Tea Party are striking!
will history repeat itself?
well....the universe grows smaller every day, and the threat of aggression by any group, anywhere, can no longer be tolerated. There must be security for all, or no one is secure. Now, this does not mean giving up any freedom, except the freedom to act irresponsibly..... the test of any such higher authority is, of course, the police force that supports it. For our policemen, we created a race of robots. Their function is to patrol the planets in spaceships like this one and preserve the peace. In matters of aggression, we have given them absolute power over us. This power cannot be revoked. At the first sign of violence, they act automatically against the aggressor. The penalty for provoking their action is too terrible to risk. The result is, we live in peace, without arms or armies, secure in the knowledge that we are free from aggression and war. Free to pursue more... profitable enterprises. Now, we do not pretend to have achieved perfection, but we do have a system, and it works. I came here to give you these facts. It is no concern of ours how you run your own town, but if you threaten to extend your violence, this city of yours will be reduced to a burned-out cinder. Your choice is simple: join us and live in peace, or pursue your present course and face obliteration. We shall be waiting for your answer. The decision rests with you...
　

Helplessly Hoping...

her harlequin hovers nearby??

as you are well aware, one of my goals here is to help people help themselves..there's nothing worse than a bunch of able-bodied human Americans waiting around for government to take care of them..especially if those people are the anti-tax anti-gov't crowd...take the Milpas Association for example...they no doubt are mostly conservative anti-tax anti-gov't minded with that chubby blonde chick leading the charge... but when they feel threatened by homeless bums and gangs, they waist (yuk yuk) no time crying like little polliwogs (sorry polliwogs!) who just lost their mommies! ooohh, protect me....ohhh help me..they cry...."I'll take a Big Mac" says the chubby chick!! (this is great PR for the jail tax, by the way...hmmmm)
well, the Santa Barbara cops can't be everywhere and it is a fact that they are afraid of the Milpas area criminals who have no fear of Chief Camareno Sanchez..so why don't they come up with some other remedies and leave the cops alone to concentrate on their pensions....you neocons are always pouting about private businesses not getting a fair shake..then why not hire a private security firm to help your businesses out? or how about the 2nd Amendment...carry a gun and that'll send a message to those punks...if guns scare ya, well, I got a little product here that I'm selling for a limited time called "Scram Patrol" ..it's a little ultra-sonic device that sends unwanted pests away at the push of a button..for only $19.95 or two for 37 dollars...just point and shoot and hit targets up to 20 ft away..that homeless pile loitering across the street singing hippie songs within earshot of your business..ZAP...gone!
you're not helpless you know...

Happy Halloween!

SCOTT..your mother sucks cocks in Hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NIPPER..your mother sucks cocks in Hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
　
so the News-Press wants you to call them if you are concerned about anything suspicious, like porn on the company's computer or fraud in this year's elections...of course, the only reason the N-P wants you to call them is they fear their pet candidates will lose big, so they can blame it on election fraud and the student or illegal immigrant vote...
So if you suspect any fraud or anything unusual anywhere, you're asked to notify the News-Press?? If someone perpetrated fraud on me the last one I'd call is the News-Press!! but I'm sure the crack reporters will investigate and give an honest review of whatever people complain about...like...eeek, there's a liberal voting..or eek, there's five students voting....or eeek..a Mexican just voted!!! or someone just offered me $100 dollars to vote for Meg Whitman!!
please call the News-Press at 564-5273 and encourage their delusions with any reports your imagination can conjure up..for example: one ringy dingy, two ringy dingy..um, hello...News-Press? I would like to report a donkey driving a Mercedes in Hope Ranch, please help...
let's keep 'em busy this election season!!
that's 564-5273....again 564-5273.....remember 564-5273....don't hesitate, it's 564-5273....

Coffin Joe....

cuckoo ca-choo...
knowing that I will ridicule them, the News-Press freaks have buried the monthly coverage of the Wendy Pee McCuckoo round table luncheons on page 4, instead of page 1..but alas, I wasn't fooled! You can't slip this stuff by me anymore, I got too many scouts out there!!
This month's speaker was a zombie named David Limbaugh, a conservative columnist like me..but I've never heard of him! oh wait, he wrote a book called " My Irrational Fear of Obama" or something...and he wants conservatives to revive American values....American conservative values are on display by two teabagger wimps: Joe Miller and Rand Paul..values like "arrest the press" instead of freedom of the press...and "beat up women and stomp on their heads" if you don't like what they say...
Andrew Coffin, the director of the Reagan Ranch Center and VP of the Young America Foundation, was simply a cheerleader at the lunch and you know, those conservative values belong in a coffin!! Coffin is a religious rightwing fanatic and it's a shame the Reagan Center has been hijacked by these punks from YAF....his words have appeared in publications like Christianity Today and National Review..they tell you what movies are ok to watch...these are the same guys who take the good parts out to "clean them up" and show you the sanitized version...
in 2005, Coffin critiqued "March of the Penquins"...To Andrew Coffin, writing in the widely circulated Christian publication World Magazine, that is a winning argument for the theory that life is too complex to have arisen through random selection.
"That any one of these eggs survives is a remarkable feat - and, some might suppose, a strong case for intelligent design," he wrote. "It's sad that acknowledgment of a creator is absent in the examination of such strange and wonderful animals. But it's also a gap easily filled by family discussion after the film."
Rich Lowry, the editor of National Review, told the young conservatives' gathering last month: "You have to check out 'March of the Penguins.' It is an amazing movie. And I have to say, penguins are the really ideal example of monogamy. These things - the dedication of these birds is just amazing."
that's right, the conservative movement looks to a movie about penquins as the model of monogamy!!
ahhh....gays can't marry, but penquins can..is that it? and besides, I'm sure there are plenty of penquins who sleep around like that conservative slut Christine O'Donnell!!
it looks like the Young America Foundation, a tax-free non profit that pays its president $500000 a year, merits some further investigation...

woke up this morning..

with tears in my beer..

first,
I start my computer and get the blue screen blues...so I have to restore it again..then I go to my other computer and it's slow as the mental capacities of a News-Press reporter, ie. it's retarded...
then I get dressed and break a friggin bootlace...then the radio plays a stupid song and I'm getting fed up!! whoever is responsible for these little plots against me..STOP IT!!