My name is Dr. Mick Von Caw and along with my assistant, Professor Lanny Von Ebenfrankenstein, am conducting an experiment on pararnormal experiences by Santa Barbarans who get too close to tall buildings...the overall effect has been a shared fixation to chop the tops off buildings over 40 feet high...why? we asked some folks that very question..why?some of the responses were recorded: "well, there's strange things that happen beyond 40 ft"..."up there, th
ings get a little crazy"..."I'd rather not discuss it".."there's nobody under 5ft 8inches who doesn't understand the implications of 60 ft buildings"..."I'm tired of looking up all the time".."ever since 9/11, I don't like tall buildings".."the well- being of my family depends on short buildings".. "our heritage is short buildings"...ok ok I got it..geez. Lanny and I head over to a little 15 ft high restaurant on State St to get something to eat when in walks two other
members of the group studying this building height phenomenon: Sheila Lodge and Mike Self, are they allegedly lesbian lovers or just "sisters"? Sheila looks possessed by a demon! Mike just keeps repeating campaign slogans...I tell them both to leave us alone while we're eating and I don't wanna puke my breakfast because these old gals gimme the blues...and to add to my deteriorating mood, in walks
Kellam De Forest, the head of the Pearl Chase Society..I've watched this old dude at city council meetings and I got two words for you, pal: rest home. I finished eating and told Professor Von Ebenfrankenstein to find another lackey..I told him I was tired of all these ad hominem attacks on tall buildings and big things..I stepped out onto State St, headed for the Trinity church, the cool October wind licking my neck when all of a sudden a strange, yet beautiful woman grabbed my arm....under the orange colored skies...
2 comments:
that beautiful woman being me, and I whispered into your ear....there are no tall buildings in Santa Barbara just small people.
here's looking at you, kid!
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