a splendid time is guaranteed for all...

London Calling.....

ok...I thought about how to get in and the best plan I could come up with was to lie...so I go up to the entrance and announce I'm Arnold Schwarzenegger and I live at Rancho Monte Alegre and I vant to see dere Queen...someone muttered "it's the Duchess dumbass"....I said..oh yah, I vant to see da Duchess dere...

and I've been thinking about Arnold and his maid and I'm starting to understand why he did her...probably to get a little relief from Maria's bony bod...the maid, though not beautiful, had huge third world boobs so I can see the comfort those must've provided Arnold versus Maria's stoney American snootiness...sometimes a huge tit can make you feel like a little boy again! nothing wrong with that...

ok so the cops are everywhere and I'm looking around for Officer Kasi Buetiful who strikes fear in girly men who drink and drive...I wanted to shake her hand..but I didn't see her!
I see some helicopters fly in and land but don't see where they are landing..so I head around back on Highway 192 and get to a place where the action is..I see a few other people are...I meet Gabby from Ojai and her young son Matisse and we watch as 4 or 5 choppers land...well away from the main staging area..we're all taking pictures...Gabby asks me to take a few of her and Matisse on Gabby's expensive camera...I need to laugh and when the sun is out, I got something I can laugh about....and now so do they...we think we see Kate and we all laugh....I ask Matisse if he's excited to see Kate and William..he says yes.....so am I... so am I....

everyone is getting out of the choppers and walking around..we think we see Kate and William again but couldn't tell...the black chopper was the theirs...cool....royalty without stuffiness..everyone was excited....and why not ...they flew into our little town and brought some fun to the air....and the kids loved it...

Kate and William (not really sure it was them) and the entourage get in these jet black Audis with tinted windows and are escorted to the Polo grounds to start the festivities....I left at about 11:30 AM and left with a good feeling about Britain and America and the possibility of seeing two people that I didn't really see but probably could have if I really wanted to but maybe I did see them... maybe we all saw them....and I had a good feeling about this whole crazy mixed up world....

the guests have arrived..

ladies and gentlemen.. the Duchess

Rogues Gallery

going rouge...

while I prepare for Carpinteria's big Saturday, that's right, Carpinteria..not Santa Barbara, maybe you folks in SB should reflect on why the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge chose Carp..

well, maybe we're all just a little tired of all your petty trials and tribulations..all your little bickerings and soap operas...and Carpinteria and Summerland are the only small towns left that can provide some real rural elegance and hospitality...yeah, you should just stay in SB today and drown your sorrows at Mel's....

now..here's today's rogue: Lanny Ebenstein of the News-Press

Quote of the Day

“I kind of feel sorry for what Mr. Ebenstein went through because he had no knowledge that (his tenants) were growing marijuana. I’ve never known a landlord who wanted people in their property growing marijuana.” – Eureka attorney Andrew Stunich displays his deep knowledge of the local landlording business.

The problem with defending landlords like Mr. Ebensten is (from the TS article) “According to court documents, one of the tenants of the property also admitted to officers that the “premises were ‘set up’ for growing marijuana” when he moved in in September 2009, and that a crop of marijuana plants was even ready for harvest at the time.” So it was an on-going marijuana operation with a series of tenants, not tenants growing mj? I think Mr. Ebensten is lucky he isn’t criminally prosecuted for conspiracy.

I feel sorry for Andy Stunich. He had no idea what he walked into with that slimeball. Ebenstein is in deep doo-doo beyond the small claims case ruled against him. His financial problems are huge. He has the property on Hillsdale for sale which he will take a massive loss on, another on Gibson that is in foreclosure and was scheduled for auction last monday, and has somehow managed to escape foreclosure on his property on E Street.

And with all this in mind, Alan aka Lanny Ebenstein is heading up a California ballot initative from his mansion in Santa Barabara that mirrors the same attempt in Wisconsin to strip public workers from their barganining rights. Google it, mofos. Alan/Lanny is a Cato adjunct scholar, economics professor @ UCSB, his father wrote many books which were the basis for modern conservative ideology– this guy is much more than a poor, ignorant landlord he depicts himself to be. He profited from a commercial grow operation.
Look it up: Lanny Ebenstein. Same dude, but very different look outside of Humboldt County.

Might be of interest that Dr. Ebenstein is an adjunct scholar with the CATO Institute, and best known for his biography of Austrian Economist/Philosopher Friendrich Hayek. Quoth Wikipedia: “Friedrich August von Hayek, was an Austrian-born economist and philosopher best known for his defense of classical liberalism and free-market capitalism against socialist and collectivist thought.” Hayek won a Nobel Prize and the Presidential Medal of Freedom from George H.W. Bush. “Hayek’s account of how changing prices communicate signals which enable individuals to coordinate their plans is widely regarded as an important achievement in economics.” Would that apply here?

OOH! and this on the CATO Institute: “The Cato Institute is a libertarian think tank headquartered in Washington, D.C. It was founded in 1977 by Edward H. Crane, who remains president and CEO, and Charles Koch, chairman of the board and chief executive officer of the oil conglomerate Koch Industries, Inc., the second largest privately held company (after Cargill) by revenue in the United States.[1][2]”

Koch... as in Tea Party.....and that ain't English tea mofos!

Village Green Preservation Society

"I was born, lucky me"

ok, in between all the lawsuits and trials in Santa Barbara, here's my plan to see Duchess Kate on Saturday...if I'm lucky I'll get her to leave that sissy she married for a few hours and maybe rub shoulders with her....or rub her shoulders.... I would never rub her the wrong way...or she could rub my..my..mmmm...

I'll get up and take a shower...get some coffee going...take a pee..take a few more pees....if you don't want to pee, don't drink coffee...

then I'll get dressed and turn on the radio..I expect to hear some British music on Saturday so KTYD get on the ball...some Stones, Beatles, and the Kinks will do just fine...I will turn it up and rock around the condo for a spell...getting pumped up.. "cos in sleepy London town there's just no place for a street fightin' maaaannnnnn.....no"

then I'll go out and get some 7/11 coffee and a News-Press..then back and sit in front of this stupid ass computer, do the blog, drink coffee and read the News-Press...I always get a laugh from Team Wendy theatrics!! I also heard that the News-Press has been banned from the event because some reporters allegedly hacked into Kate's cell phone messages a la Rupert Murdoch's "News of the World" tabloid!!

ok I'll finish today's post and hit publish and you read it and are probably laughing at me..so what, you want a medal???

hmmmm..there's seems to be a conflict of interest here as the St. Joseph carnival is happening on the same weekend as Kate and William..well fuck..I'll just have to go to both!

so I'll get on the bike and head out to the Polo Fields first..I don't know when Kate and William will arrive, so it's a mystery...I have to guess because I'm a commoner....but I'll start out at about 10:30 AM...then up the road and down about two miles and I'm there...on Nidever which borders the Polo Fields..it's also called Highway 192..

I bet security will be tight..and there's always a possibility I might get shot by a rogue cop...well, life is full of risks....so let's all take one on Saturday!

the tortoise and the hare...

slow and steady...

it's good to have goals in life...some like the tortoise go after their goals slowly, calmly and if nobody comes and flips them on their backs, they reach their goals and set new ones..some on the other hand run around like a hare after shiny things..the road to Hell is paved with gold....

let's look at some golddiggers

first, we got Lanny Ebenstein and his money issues in Eureka...Lanny, the economic professor, the president of California Center for Public Policy, past president of the Santa Barbara County Taxpayers Association and current editorial writer for the News-Press is like the rabbit...Lanny runs around lecturing on the evils of public pensions and the economics involved, yet Lanny can't hold onto his houses in Eureka and was sued by 14 of his neighbors for operating a pot house..I sure wouldn't do that to my neighbors...I like my neighbors....so Lanny's got a radio show on Wendy's radio station AM 1290 aka Rabbit Radio, co-hosted by pal Joe Armendariz, Carp City Councilman and president of the Santa Barbara Taxpayers Association...

then there's Peter Lance going on trial in Santa Barbara for DUI... since he got busted, he's been running around like a rabbit crying in the pages of the News-Press.....

now we see that Joe Armendariz, the president of the Santa Barbara County Taxpayer Association and Carp City Councilmember, who lectures about taxes and money issues, has some rabbit issues of his own ...

he recently short- sold his house in Carpinteria and now we find he had a court date yesterday after Montecito Bank and Trust filed a lawsuit against him: File Date Case # Party Name 06/6/2011 1381243 Defendant: Joseph A Armendariz 06/6/2011 1381243 Defendant: Karla D Armendariz 06/6/2011 1381243 Plaintiff: Montecito Bank & Trust

now that's a shame, embarrassing Carpinteria again but the News-Press likes to print the money problems of local public figures so why can't I? it's a public service right Wendy? I expect a story on Joe and soon!! it's news ain't it??

do these folks handle our tax money as poorly as they handle their own finances? certainly this is something to consider next voting cycle... something to consider next time they try to steal your paycheck or pension....so what happened to Joe...did he run up a huge bill at Tiffany's then run to Montecito Bank and Trust for a loan...Michael Towbes owns that bank and he's always giving money to nonprofits and Joe loves nonprofits but apparently Towbes doesn't like rabbits who can't pay their loans back!

"The other day I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree"

angry poodles

take your stinkin' paws off me you damn dirty dog.....

I was going to do a story on projection but I turned on the tube and there's Peter Lance yapping a mile a minute, yapping to "the Investigator" Robert Eringer who was yapping a mile a minute about how unfair it is to be pulled over for DUI..especially by a woman cop...who yells at them!!! they had their hands all over each other and Lance kept leaning into Eringer....they looked like a couple of drunks on barstools...the show is called "the Rant" on Channel 17....it was hysterical......catch a repeat if you can

Lance was pleading his case AGAIN, reliving the News-Press series, praising editor Don Katich , praising all the poor little victims in his story, listing his elite credentials and screaming about Nick Welsh's "Angy Poodle BBQ" column at the Independent, and all these women who wronged him....Officer Beutel, Mayor Helene Schneider, Joyce Dudley...

Mayor Helene actually was invited to the N-P by Katich but declined to speak with Lance..and Lance was really pissed by that..the guy has women or mommy issues!!

and Eringer was almost in tears about the "abusive women" who arrest drunk drivers....all the while they were excusing drunk driving...and excusing each other...my god these guys are a couple of pussies!!

Lance went on and on about Officer Kasi Beutel and what horrible person she was..he repeated himself every three minutes....he never manned up once about drinking and driving....always deferred responsibility to the cops...and still hasn't filed a complaint against her, that I'm aware of

Lance is starving for publicity and this show made him look absolutely guilty the more he talked!

and check out the pictures..the dude looked wasted!! he was jacked up on something..high on life, Peter?? I called a cop to tail him out of the studio!!

Lance is sweating like a pig trying to blame the cops for his predicament..and he threatened to investigate and to ruin the career of other cops who are "protecting Kasi Beutel" ...and guess what..he's got another three part series on the drunk driving issues....coming up with more "evidence"... he puts out more calls for people to contact him if Officer Kasi Beutel treated them unfairly....

now...Lance says that credibility of the officer in DUI cases is of utmost importance and yet he uses a tainted handwriting expert, three drunks, and HIS OWN LAWYER to plead his case in the NewsPress...and he says he's never met Wendy or Nipper....how is this credible?? it's not.

as he said, if he loses his case he'll get fined, go to Zona Seca for treatment like Wendy's mutts Travis and Joe....and that scares him, which is why he is going to extraordinary lengths to heap some mud on the cops....

Lance looks into the camera at the end and says "a rogue cop is much worse than a drunk driver" which is an admission to his DUI..and by the way, a DUI is ten times worse than rogue cop, who only seem to worry drunks... I guess to them all DUI officers are rogue cops...

Lance and all his rummy red- faced pals need to stop denying their obvious alcohol problems and man up...get some treatment...and get a woman to drive you home next time you can't handle your liquor!

old king crow

ok I'm sick of all this alcohol talk that you people made me write about..I'm not your fucking therapist, you know.....so let's talk nature, my favorite subject...

I have been reading about animals and gardens lately...and people
now, these people seem to have a problem when a critter walks into their garden..a dog, a raccoon, a skunk, a rat, whatever it is that walks on four legs...for some reason, they think these animals are the enemies....and they devise all these contraptions to keep the skunks out..and worse, some still use poison...and worse yet, poison coyotes, the highest life form on earth!! that's right, coyotes and crows in that order..

see this crow..I was sitting on my balcony and he landed in the tree..and visited me for a week...he'd preen, watch me, act silly, plop on a branch and finally flew off....crows are cool!

when I lived on the ranch, I was visited by raccoons who chattered under the moonlight, I had possums visit, rats, cats, all kinds of night roamers and I loved it...but these city folks seem to think they own the planet and will put out POISON to stop some of the animals..of course, that poison ends up in the food chain and kills other animals..this was the MO of the Channel Islands Parks Service and Nature Conservancy who littered Anacapa Island with poison to kill rats and ended up killing falcons, owls and a host of others..ie non-target species..but why target species that are doing no harm??
these fucks from the Parks Service and Nature Con should've been prosecuted...but they weren't prosecuted...they were enabled by all the little shits who claim to be "for the animals"....
unfortunatley, this madness has made its way to the mainland where any means to kill or destroy unwanted species will be employed....

all the animals roaming the hillsides and occasionally checking out the city lights are to be appreciated not feared..they are not pests..they are part of the ecosystem..leave them alone and stop all the "ewww, they all carry rabies" excuses....once in awhile maybe but not always....that's like saying all conservatives are retarded..most are, but certainly not all!

so when a family of raccoons comes down from the pine trees at night, leave 'em alone..it's wild... it's beautiful and who cares about your stupid garden....if you grow food, animals will eat it...if that's a problem, get an in-house garden, otherwise expect the birds and bees and wild animals to come to your yards at night and feast..so plant a little extra....

one of the reasons I love California is the wildlife..it is absolute madness we have groups of people running around trying to kill.....are these people trying to project their feelings of inadequacy onto the animals??

well, the News-Press thinks it knows a little something about projection but I will illustrate tomorrow that they don't know nuthin!