Mirror Mirror on the Wall...

who's the most worthless ass of them all???

all this talk about underwear has got me a-wonderin'...how many worthless asses can I really nail to the wall...a wall like no other wall...
it'll be a Dishonor Roll Wall, a Hall of Shameful Asses Wall..asses who have lied, cheated, committed fraud, and otherwise tried to screw with America and the Santa Barbara area over the last few years...and oh my, there's a bunch of asses..some I've named, some whom I've never even met yet, but surely will, one way or another... Some that you recognize, some that you've hardly even heard of...some of their misdeeds include driving drunk after which their private employer promoted them! firing people for joining the union! blindly supporting the Iraq invasion, then holding fraudulent war rallies at Harley Davidson! lying to the judge! pretending to be a doctor of psychology and fraudulently making money from it! supporting rightwing economic theories that derailed Wall Street with greed, avarice and more fraud! private companies stealing worker pensions! non-profits worth over $50 million like People's Self Help Housing begging for taxpayers money...city councils giving it to them to curry favor..as you can see it's an endless list.. so who are these people?

Some of them are members of the bored rightwing bourgeoisie and are leftovers from the Nixon/J.Edgar Hoover era...they lie, cheat, snoop, lie some more, abuse power, lie again, wear women's underwear..and are more fascist than American! They think government is evil unless they need protection, then they cry like babies when someone scares them! Protect me Uncle Sam!Protect me!! They are afraid of their own shadows!!
A government of, by and for the people is AMERICA!
Above all, these hacks hate free speech! HATE IT!! They hide behind money walls like PARASITES and piss on the working class, then they start crying when the working class pisses back! An age-old tradition: a pissing contest between the forces of light the forces of evil!
I congratulate them all for making it onto the first annual WALL OF WORTHLESS ASSES!!
All in All...
you're just another brick in the wall..

Once Upon a Time...

Some of you out there would rather I deal in fairy tales than the biting political/social satire I usually provide...ok..let's try!

CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm."Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?" "You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin." Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 am. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m. Cinderella shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied. "Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!" "I met a prince, Fairy Godmother.He took care of everything." The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of power!Tell me his name! "Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly, Peter, Peter, the something eater." _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend? "Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?" _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ MICKEY MOUSE and MINNIE MOUSE were in divorce court and the judge said to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy. "Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's f**king Goofy." _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Did you know..Captain Hook died from jock itch. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ One day, JANE met TARZAN in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he engaged to have sex. "What's that?" he asked.She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree."Horrified, she said, " Tarzan, you have it all wrong but I will show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground and spread her legs. "Here," she said, "you must put it in here. "Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp,"What the hell did you do that for?" "Just checking for bees," said Tarzan...
swamp

a fish called Wendy....

Quarantine Republicans...

This spring and summer, which look to be a good ones, need to be protected. The birdies are out singing, the flowers are blooming, the air is filled with a lemony fennel fragrance..it's just lovely! So what or who could possibly poison such an idyllic setting? HYPER-CONSERVATIVE REPUBLICANS..the irrelevant political party. They've gotten so many things wrong in the past 8 years, they have been reduced to the playpen, occasionally shouting and crying about liberal agendas destroying America..I am not going to waste my time changing their diapers! A quarantine would isolate them for a while, like a leper colony..we could ask the Chumash to buy some big boats and take the conservatives to the Channel Islands for the summer..to pull out native plants!

My brilliant idea was hatched after reading the latest from Gina Perry at the Daily Sound and Wendy McCaw's News-Press. First Gina: she thinks that grades K-6 are being dumbed down to teach Mexican kids English! But really, how do you "dumb-down" a 2nd grader?? I can see the Daily Sound being dumbed down by adding Gina as a columnist, that's obvious. But a 2nd grader? They don't know anything yet!!
and Wendy's claim that UCSB students should not be allowed to vote because Steve Pappas lost the 3rd District election to Doreen Farr! Two wealthy rightwing newspaper owners, Wendy McCaw and Nancy "Fats" Crawford-Hall don't want students to vote! What kind of fascist agenda do these two pudgey bitches have..anyway?? The real issue is when rich people attempt to buy an election and then lose, they blame and sue! Add Steve Pappas to the list of News-Press sock puppets who can't get power the honest way! Dimwits...
Republicans..your island paradise awaits!

Waste Not..Want Not..

no trash talkin' smeary venomous ad hominems today folks!

ok, now that I've exposed the SBCTA (hey..what happened to their website SBCTA ??) for what they are..a bunch of damn hillbillies..I need to expose the real problems in the city of Santa Barbara. There is nothing wrong with paying employees who work the essential services, that's what Public Works is all all about..where the city has lost its way is the green jobs created...Creeks Supervisor for example makes $90,000/year to wage a war against invasive species...fire him/her immediately and let the Parks Dept take care of creek maintenance..all that's needed is a quarterly or semi-annual cleaning.. otherwise, leave the plants alone.
Storm drains..you don't need a separate treatment scheme...putting screens or cages on the drains encourages flooding and back-up...instead, go back and do what the city used to do..clean the beaches with a tractor! I used to sit out in the morning sun at East Beach with a cup of 7/11 and watch the tractor go by, dragging a rototiller..afterwards the beach looked great! Simple! Fine people for littering..$1000...

and now for the first or second time on santabarbarnewspressblog.com.. an advertisement!

Get the new Flip Mino! a little camcorder that looks like a washing machine.....why pay $89 for a digital camera that can do the same thing when you can buy a FlipMino that does less? only $178 at Nippers.com.. get yours..today!!

now, back to the Naked City..Managers..go thru the city depts and get rid of overlapping management...three or four supervisors per dept is too many! Get lean and mean! Non-essential services like dog-walker should be stopped! This ain't Mayberry!! Stop all projects that threaten the city's history..De La Guerra Plaza doesn't need anything but a few benches! Stop harassing the homeless..they don't bother me at all! Freedom isn't pretty sometimes..
Now, the council needs to stop all this political ping pong and get to work..get back to basics, show some leadership and individuality...oh wait a minute, this is the political season..keep up the theater then..I'm rather enjoying myself!

Political Incest...

equals funny looking babies...

I do not support incest! It seems you gotta be really lazy to do it with your kin...it's not natural in the natural world, altho it happens, and it is not good in the political world, where it also happens. I will show you what I'm talking about by using a local example of wut I'm talking about...do I sound inbred? Well, I'm trying to make a point! Ok then...we got a few boards and councils and associations that have become a concern to me. My job here is to concern you with my concerns so we can be concerned together..like a family. So here's my concern: I'm really concerned! I went to the Carpinteria Water District meeting Wednesday and learned that they have a debt of..get this..one hundred million dollars!

$100,000,000!! I saw a local celeb there, Ann Bardach..she's a rabble rouser and looks like Nancy Pelosi! She said the CWD should just give up and declare bankruptcy!
Now here's where the political incest part comes in: The Santa Barbara County Taxpayers Association has a few members from Carpinteria..Carp councilman Joe Armendariz and June Van Wingerden, a private flower grower..June also sits on the Carp Water Board with Carp City Parks Director Matt Roberts...Roberts answers to Joe and the other city council members...Now, Joe and Lanny Ebenstein (who used to play Eddie on the old Munsters show) have been complaining to anyone who will listen about public sector salaries, making up facts to suit their theories..some private rich people pay them to do that...it's all a political game..nothing more and nothing less. They claim, hiding behind the silent money, to care about the taxpayers, but Joe has been mute, so far, about the huge Carpinteria water district debt and the increased salaries and benefits for the district workers..he's a Carp City councilman yet spends more time fretting about City of Santa Barbara employee salaries! Isn't that curious? Is it a case selective concern for the Santa Barbara taxpayers? or is he getting cash from Wendy McCaw to prop up sock puppets Francisco and Falcone? See how tangled this all gets and how it's not my fault!! I just connected the dots!! I'm sure I'll think of more stuff in the future...
and you should be very concerned......

Iya Love Lucy...

starring Iya Falcone and Dale Francisco

Looocy....I'm Hooommmeee!
I'll say it again...the Santa Barbara City Council meetings are the funniest thing going...it's like a sitcom! It's better than Seinfeld! better than "Cheers"..better than I Love Lucy! No wait, it is I Love Lucy! Watching Iya Falcone sit up there and talk circles around herself is hurting my brain, but tickling my funny bone (not that one)..watching Dale Francisco pander to the NewsPress is pathetic...Wendy and Travis own this dude. Watching Mayor Blum point out logic inconsistencies in Iya and Dale's arguments is priceless! The sniping back and forth is hilarious! Even Steve Cushman showed up.When the Mesa Madman Wayne Scoles was up there ranting, calling the city council worms, Cushman stood up and came to the podium, positioned right behind him. Cushman's a big dude and Scoles almost fell on his ass when he turned around to leave and saw Big Steve!! Let's see what develops, if anything, between him and the criminal News-Press. If he's clean, he looks good to go for mayor!
The council was voting again to pass the contract for City TAP (Treatment and Patrol) units. Last week they voted to pass it, but for some reason the law requires another vote....last week, Dale was absent, this week he was auditioning for a spot on the News-Press gravy train..Dale got a newsflash that the economy was tanking thus supposedly changing the contract scenerio. Ahh, Dale, the stock market was up 500 points on Monday! I bought Citi at $1.80, it's up to $3.05!

He wanted to delay the contract item for a few more weeks, to discuss this new economic information in closed session, and have another public hearing. Actually, he was just doing what Travis told him... STALL!!! Das and Helene were flabberghasted..what kind of political stunt are you pulling now, Dale??
Then Iya chimed right in, on Dale's cue, to tell the voters how much she yearns to listen to them..all five of them in the chamber who spoke against the raises! Ha Ha...she thinks the whole community is against paying city employees because of what the News-Press prints! Watch Iya, she gives long -winded monotone speeches, occasionally turns her head to the side, then looks straight ahead sleepily, then a crazy- Lucy-like look..instead of discussing the contract, she was giving a campaign speech to get NewsPress support..last week she voted for the contract, now she wants to "discuss" it more..after 8 months of negotiations!! SHE IS FOR SALE!!!
It was like she was hypnotized! Francisco's motion failed and the contract passed...
It is no joke to play politics with the employees salaries, and Iya's ploy showed her true colors..black and white and read all over!

be true to your school...

smokin' in the boys room...

So I'm reading the News-Press on Sunday and what do I see..a bunch of stupid things as usual! First, I read the LIFE section and there's a disgusting picture of Wendy and Nipper looking stupid with two other goofy looking white people..they were attending an awards ceremony for Laguna Blanca school..a private school I used to attend and got kicked out of back in the fun days..too rebellious was I! Most of the students were cool and smart and potheads to boot..I was clean and still the school messed with me! Laguna's a good school but for a few issues I found untenable..the French teacher was a c-u-n-t who couldn't teach French to Louie L'Amour..she had no right teaching anything to anybody, altho if she taught me how to lick her pussy I may have actually learned something useful...the other thing was they sent me home because my hair was too long..it touched my collar..HOLY FUCK!! What kind of crap was that?? I'm there to learn and the administrators are more concerned with how I look?? What a lesson that teaches..so I said bye dickheads, don't call me, I'll call you..and went off to seek my fame and fortune in the real world...
I am saddened to see how low Laguna has sunk..they've always depended on money from rich white conservatives to keep their kids from thinking too much for themselves, but now they are taking money from the likes of Wendy and Nipper..CRIMINALS...what a bunch of spineless sissies Laguna's administrators have turned out to be..I wash my hands of you!!
Now the second dumb thing I read was the editorial condemning the idea of a Lady Liberty statue replica that a private group wants to erect at the harbor for 4th of July..it's temporary, it might be fun, might bring in the tourist money, so why not? Santa Barbara used to be fun until the fun folks moved away and the zombies moved in...so let's support a little kitsch in stuffy Santa Barbara and celebrate freedom and democracy..the two things that Wendy's NewsPress hate!! If Santa Barbara can attach Beanie Baby Ty Warner's name to the Sea Center, surely they can allow the replica Statue of Liberty for some 4th of July fun!
I was "Born in the USA"!!

Lanny Being Lanny...

No wonder Travis Strongarm is afraid to attend city council meetings: too many freaks like him!! A clinic in abnormal psychology..at its finest!!

So I'm watching the Santa Barbara City Council Meeting, interested in the latest employee contract outcome..it passed (Dale Francisco was absent!) over the concerns of my pal Lanny Ebenstein, an economic legend in his own mind, who this time was representing the County Taxpayers Association, as its president of all things.
SHADY
I'm a taxpayer and they don't represent me! This is a shady organization with ultrarightwing members like Joe Centeno, Joe Armendariz, Mike Stoker and the Chumash Casino..bling chasers who they claim to be non-partisan, which is total bullshit..they are anti labor and anti union. When Executive Director Joe Armendariz, dazed and drunk, crashed his car in Montecito, the TAXPAYERS cleaned up his mess; when Mike Stoker was spokeman for GREKA, the county fire dept responded dozens of times to clean up their mess..who paid? the TAXPAYERS...so don't give me this nonsense about being taxpayer advocates..they are a bunch of hypocrites!
ok..so now Lanny is president of this limp outfit, and here's some of the message they want you, the taxpayer, to hear: A particular area of interest will be the comprehensive remuneration of local government employees, including benefits. For too long, local governments have allowed particularly benefits of employees to become out of line with standards in the private sector. This cannot continue. The SBCTA will take a leadership role in bringing inappropriate pay and benefit provisions of local government employee contracts to the attention of the public and elected officials, and we will advocate for corrective action in this area.
translation: they want to try to bust the union..
standards in the private sector?? WTF are you talking about, Lanny? Wendy doesn't have any retirement benefits or scruples, her pussy is as dry as the Mojave; Enron stole their employees pensions; stop trying to pretend you're some kind of financial genuis and get a real fucking job, dickwad! Just try to reduce pay and benefits of public service workers and watch what happens! Where was the SCTPA during the last four years of the Bush administration while he was pissing away money in Iraq? or ignoring Wall Street Fraud?? They were cheerleading and shining Armendariz's shiny Mercedes, that's what !! jesus fucking louise!!
Lanny tried to sell the council not to approve the contract because private industry would not...how many times do these people have to be told: there is a public sector and a private sector...the private sector is not automatically a better model: ENRON.. AIG.. CITI to name a few less than stellar examples..so stop trying to tout it as such..Lanny, get it through your thick skull, the city is a PUBLIC enterprise...the workers are unionized.. you got it??
Now, before they got to the contract, the Teen Appreciation segment (Go Teens!) and the public comment section preceded. Some members of the public spoke: Wayne Scoles, the Mesa Madman, was up there in raggedy tank top, reading from Robert Eringer's anti-Cam Sanchez blog. Scoles looks like he's one step away from the edge, TYPE A personality, looks like he's got some sort of post traumatic stress disorder.... ARRRRHHGGG...Cam Sanchez sucks as Chief of Police, I agree, but all Scoles is doing when he performs like a lunatic in front of the city council is make Sanchez a martyr. Next, we get Kate Smith, another rambling lunatic..I was hoping Kate would redeem herself but she's off the deep end..and continued to read from Eringer's blog! Robert Eringer, Pied Piper to the Insane!
Sometimes watching these folks is like watching One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest..and Iya Falcone or even Marty Blum are very much like Nurse Ratchett..in a good way!
I'm sure the city workforce is bemused by all the fuss about their contracts, but they will continue to work, day in and day out, provide essential services, and let the politics play out in the media..as it should..God Save the Queen!

Mick for Mayor!

Look Out Cleveland...

I officially announce, denounce and renounce my intention to think about and someday conclude that I might make a decision to actually and seriously maybe consider possibly running for mayor of Santa Barbara...who the heck cares if I don't live within city limits, neither did econo-muckraker Lanny Ebenstein when he ran for public office, and he considers himself a genuis!

And now this: you remember Reed Slatkin, the Hope Ranch scientologist who bilked gullible investors outta millions with a Ponzi scheme, got caught and is now in jail..well, his punk ass 29 year old son wants to be mayor. Justin Michael is his name and he is trying to steal my thunder, just like his daddy stole! This little fuck wants to be MAYOR..he's barely old enough to jerk off let alone run a city!! WTF is he thinking??..he's never worked for a living, done any serious public service, or put on a uniform..NOTHING!! How is he gonna deal with the union bosses during negotiations..he'll start crying when those big hairy firemen, cops and sewer line workers start shouting at him..drop out now kid, before it's too late..

NOW, BACK TO ME....

Fridays will be Wet-Tee Shirt Day at City Hall!
Next,I gotta get two things: a make-over and a platform. I wear shorts, a sweatshirt and hiking boots most of the time, unless I'm trying impress a woman, then it's shorts and a hooded-sweatshirt and hiking boots..so I guess if I became mayor, I'd have to dress up..look at Dale Francisco: coat and tie; Horton: coat and tie: I will never wear a tie again in my life, I'm a blue collar guy..so my first rule will be NO TIES THAT BIND..that goes for the mayor and all city council members.
Now, my platform: that's easy..do the opposite of what the city council has done for past four years. That would decrease crime, increase city coffers, restrict development, save historical resources and get me in good with the News-Press! Currying favor with Wendy McCaw will be my first priority! I just luv her and her fanciful ways!
I would deal with the homeless situation one bullet at a time thereby increasing my odds of getting Gina Perry to have you-know-what with me or at least suck my you-know-what!
We might as well put the police dep't to some good use..they need to stop gangbanging and start picking off the homeless trash and old people (> 42 years), too.. Also, no shaved heads in the police dep't..gotta be able to tell the gang members from the good guys..
See, I'm really a progressive with conservative tendencies...Next..I'd deal with the unions..unions suck because they give too much power to the workers..I want public servitude, not service..you people who work for the taxpayers need to know your place. I'd disband the unions and privatize the city..make it a for- profit enterprise...
of course that means removing all those silly labor laws and water quality/ environmental standards the state imposes on us; we can abuse our employees, pollute the ocean and air and save a bunch of money and get this city back in the black in no time..we can replace all the skilled and educated city worker professionals with interns and day laborers provided they are not illegal aliens...as a matter of fact ALL MEXICANS in town will be required to prove citizenship!
I'd impose a "women only" rule for all the commissions and boards..they be some fine lookin' babes on some of those boards and I want to continue that....
that's it for now, but I'm sure I'll think of more as we get closer to election time unless I get bored...
a vote for me is a vote for more fantasy and less government!

What Not to Wear...

"we live not according to reason, but according to fashion"

Sara at Blogaboobiebra has been obsessing over Iya Falcone's press conference and whether or not any cop endorsing her was in uniform..she won't let up! She says the issue is what people might think if a uniformed offficer was present..she's worried about the perception. Sara, who cares? YOU should concern yourself with what Iya was wearing..the woman needs a make-over..a new wardrobe, a new hairstyle...I suggest you book her on the show "What Not to Wear" and let Stacy and Clinton straighten her out!
You can't control what people think or perceive...but you can help our public servants be more fashion-conscious!

says Sara:
One Crisp Blue Shirt and a Shiny Badge
obsession #1
I did happen to see the News-Press photo of the Falcone press conference late today....I would post a link but they are not available via the News-Press website. The picture clearly shows a man who very much looks to be in uniform. My efforts yesterday to point out that an SBPOA member at the event would not likely have a City of Santa Barbara patch and probably wear an alternate, SBPOA badge are still relevant and we now have visual proof.
obsession #2
I haven't seen that The Santa Barbara Independent has posted an article about the press conference. On Noozhawk, the picture unfortunately just barely crops out the man in the crisp blue shirt with a shiny badge. KEYT had a story on the press conference and had a clear view zoomed in on the crisp blue shirt in question.
obsession #3
My comments regarding the perception of whether a uniformed officer was present or not stands. Really, the issue isn't about SBPOA support for Falcone -- they have every right to do so and considering the filing period hasn't even ended, Falcone has landed a major coup. My congratulations to her stands as well.
obsession #4
The issue is about whether people might think a uniformed officer was present...the gentleman clearly pictured in the crisp blue shirt did not have a City of Santa Barbara Police Department patch but he did have a badge on.
Badges? We ain’t go no badges. We don’t need no badges. I don’t have to show you any stinking badges.

Citizen McCuckoo

A woman was telling her friend "I was the one that made my husband a millionaire".. "what was he when you married him?" asked the friend.
"a billionaire" she replied..

awright, I finally watched this cinematic masterpiece...not bad, a little boring at times and the end zone debate with Barry Cappucino and the producer was silly..where the fuck was Wendy? That's the whole point.. to get her out of her comfort zone and talking to the citizens! Cappello is paid to lie for her..we need to see her face, her eyes under those dark glasses...she's a wimp...
The film had a few highlights..the scene when Tracy Lehr from KEYT was chasing Wendy, Barry and Nipper down the street during lunch time, peppering them with questions was hilarious..Cappeloon kept sniping at Tracy like an old woman with wet diapers.."I don't talk to rude reporters" whimpers Barry when all Tracy was doing was her job! Nipper and Wendy were scurrying along the sidewalk like little squirrels running from a predator..they finally reached the restaurant and entered through a dark doorway..Tracy shouted out "have a nice lunch!"... give this woman an Oscar.. or whatever they give reporters!


When Melissa Evans spoke..I forgot what she said but...the girl is FINE! FIIIIINE! and troubled, too..what a combination!

The part when Jerry Roberts was accused of child porn by the News-Press on the front page..no one signed their name to the story and it was assumed that Scott Steepleton wrote it..Scott was followed and questioned by a reporter but pretended not to notice....just kept walking and looking straight ahead, like fat little grey penguin waddling on a frozen lake...hoo hoo..Steepleton, you are a jerkoff!
I didn't think much of the NewsPress under Roberts, but the fact is: he was smeared, big time.
After this debacle, it amazes me that any business in Santa Barbara would advertise in the News-Press, just for the child porn incident alone...so the folks who advertise condone falsely accusing people of child porn and having it on company computers..despicable....the EyeGlass Factory, Jedlicka's and the rest of the spineless businesses deserve the wrath that 8 years of neocon economics have wrought....
pissheads!

PARTY DOLLS...

and things that go bump bump bump in the night....

KEYT will report anything you send them, without checking to see if the source is credible or the report is true! So I sent them the following newsflash: Dear KEYT...someone told me Wendy furloughed Travis, (no editorials until later this month) and then put the NewsPress on the market..news at 6:00pm..At least they don't make up the news!..
Speaking of makeup..have you seen the new chick reporter at KEYT? Coleen Sullivan..Coleen with one "L"..how weird is that? Anyway, she used to date Princess Diana's bro..I don't know what happened betwixt them, but it ain't love nomo..
Normally, when I see an opportunity for hot sex with royalty, I move..but I've been watching Coleen for a few weeks and she's a little freaky..First, she' s got an attititude.. very princessy..high maintenance no doubt..second, the face..pretty, but spooky! Look at her..she looks like a doll.."in the make up and the Sunday suit, you looked just like a doll" Danny O'Keefe/Just Jones..
the forehead is too high and shiny, like plastic..too smooth.. and the smirk..she's smirking at me like she thinks I'm scum...WHY Coleen??? WHAT'D I DO??
Is Coleen a botox girl? Is she..she is..she looks like...CHUCKY'S MOM !! or Chatty Cathy's aunt!
She's freaking me out!! Everytime she does a story, I hear the twilight zone guitar riff..do do do do, do do do do...ya hear it ??..next time you watch her, see if I'm right..we need to do something about this!!

Sittin' In...

I Got Standards...

my new hobby is lifting threads from other blogs or online papers and posting them here..esp if an editor at another site is engaged in censorship. Lifting comments is fun, it's easy, and requires no intelligence.. and it's not like they are worth anything, so I'm not stealing.... it's kinda like sittin' in on a jam session!!
and from now on I'll write things that will never offend anyone, never make a body feel uncomfortable, never make you hate me, and never ever hurt anyone's feelings..NOT!!

Remember Travis the chimp? The NewsPress had another commentary about him: "Chimpanzees can do many things people think are only human behaviors. Travis, for example, could drink wine from a glass, dress himself and even log on to a computer." That's what Travis-the-editor at the News-Press does: drinks booze and logs on to the computer.. and gets $100,000 a year! Apparently, anyone can be an editor...now, the site in question today is the Daily Sound. The players are columnist Cheri Rae, editor Jeramy Gordon and commentor MC Confrontation..Cherie has been busting the city's chops recently and MC confronted her..the comments were kept for a few days, then Gordon removed them ....Here's the gist of it: is Cheri mad at the city because she wanted to build a bunch of condos on her lot a few years ago and was denied? She hasn't yet responded to MC's allegations..instead, editor Jeramy Gordon removed MC's comments! CENSORED THEM!!

READY? log on!!
Dear Cheri Rae McKinney, purveyor of all that is logical and bursting with comprehension, and writer devoid of ulterior motives: you are full of crap. Here in this piece you whine abut how commenters can deconstruct YOUR drivel without any repercussions. You insinuate that commenters are only emboldened to write what they do because they are protected by a cloak of anonymity. You then go on to impersonate a venus fly-trap, hoping one of your detractors will identify themselves to the masses, as if doing so will either validate their comments or inspire the lefties to show up at a commenter's front door with the rest of the lynch mob. Let me remind you Cheri Rae Mckinney: you get paid for this. You elect to put your head on the chopping block by accepting and cashing a paycheck to print your opinions. You only caught MY attention when a colleague pointed out to me that you wrote a nasty piece on the city planning department, printing their salaries in the paper at a time when everyone is feeling the pain of the recession. That was filthy, even if it didn't have any "ulterior motives." Now, it's true city staff salaries are public domain information and available to any citizen who cares to dig. Well, I decided to dig a little to see if I could turn up the reason behind your ire for the planning department. You said your columns are grounded in "what's right, and... integrity matters." It turns out your beef with city planners is personal, Cheri Rae McKinney, and has nothing to do with what's right or a sense of integrity (read: ulterior motives). See folks, it turns out that in March of 2005 Cheri Rae McKinney applied to the planning department to redevelop her lot into a three unit condominium. Her plans called for some modifications to the city building code so that one of the new units could legally sit in the required setback and so required parking for the lot could be adjusted to fit her needs. Basically, she didn't want to play by the rules that every other person in town has to play by. Cheri Rae McKinney somehow thought she was above the laws that govern city redevelopment. Cheri Rae McKinney's proposal was shot down and she never got to redevelop her parcel to fit three residential units into a space downtown that presently only holds one. This is why Cheri Rae MCKinney carries on a personal war against the city planners in the pages of the Daily Sound. It's not because she cares about what's right.; it's because she didn't get what she wanted. To Jeramy Gordon, you have my permission to print this in the paper, though I doubt you will. I wouldn't want to advertise the fact that I employ underhanded columnists with personal agendas to speak to the masses either. THIS COMMENT HAS BEEN EDITED BY JERAMY GORDON.
M.C. Confrontation

Comments : 3/2/2009
M.C. Confrontation's first comment was deleted from the site because it violated the Daily Sound's comment policy. Anyone who would like more information on the policy can e-mail me at jgordon@thedailysound.com
Deleted comment : 3/2/2009
A recent comment posting the home address of an anonymous blogger known as M.C. Confrontation has been deleted for violating the Daily Sound's comment policy. We realize Cheri Rae and M.C. Confrontation could be viewed as public figures at some level, however, the Daily Sound feels releasing a person's personal information in a seemingly malicious manner, in any context, should not be permitted on this comment page. If the people who comment on these pages can not remain civil, we will not hesitate to remove comment privileges all together. Please help us make this forum a productive, useful tool and not just a breeding ground for hate-filled innuendo..
Jeramy Gordon

log off..even a chimp can do that!

Your Cheating Heart..

will tell on you...

Dr. Laura caught cheating..again!
suspended from racing for sailing illegally modified boat!
claims she didn't know about it!
repeats troubling behavioral pattern...is shock therapy needed??

Well, Dr. Laura the tide has turned; the wind is out of your sails, now, missy; you can't sail though life by cheating all the time; no more coasting; you make me keel over; you need to try a different tack; everything is NOT shipshape: you've left the yacht club high and dry!

from the crow's nest:
"It looks like everyone's favorite moralist and phony physician
Dr. Laura Schlessinger is under the gun again, this time facing disciplinary action
from her local PHRF fleet.
It seems the new owners of the good doc's J/92s disclosed to their local board that
all sorts of modifications were made on the boat and never disclosed to PHRF.
Gutted heads, dummy faucets,
and all sorts of stripping out were found
on the boat – is winning a yacht race really worth it?"

before she got caught, she gloated:
"The work I do, when I write a book, I don't have anyone helping me. (In sailing) I had to learn that when something gets screwed up, it's all of us, and when something goes right, it's all of us too." A lot of things have been going right for Schlessinger and her racing crew lately. Sailing her racing boats, Turn Key and Perfect, in the Wet Wednesday regatta series of the Santa Barbara Yacht Club, she and her crew have been winning the B Fleet every week.
"I'm really proud that really good, experienced sailors want to sail with me. I take that as a supreme compliment. I was a dirt beginner, and a female in a venue that's guy-oriented," she said. "It's because she tries so hard," Kieding said. "Whatever she does, she succeeds in, whether it's karate (she has a black belt), or boats or her business." -- Excerpts from a story by Leah Etling in the Santa Barbara News Press

SailingAnarchy (excerpt)

Last week we ran the story about Dr. Laura getting flicked from PHRF for 3 months for a rules violation or two. (See The Right Thing. Done. below.) Well, we received this letter from the doc, and it seems to be pretty much the right thing, other than she probably didn't need to throw her resident pro under the bus... She's an interesting woman. On the one hand the Dr. L on the radio is, how shall we say it, sucky? We don't buy into that whole anti-gay, anti-abortion right wing lunacy, and to us, between the stern lecturing tone of her advice, the lack of humor, and the retards who call her show, it is unlistenable But, your Ed actually had a private conversation with her at SDYC a couple years or so ago, and found her quite engaging. Whatever.
Dr Laura's response: (notice how she blames one of her crew members before saying the buck stops with her).
Some of your forum members have been wondering what happened regarding STING (J/92s) and PHRF. It turns out that a boat I owned and raced in a number of PHRF races a couple of years ago, and recently sold, was missing a bladder and had a door in bubble wrap in storage instead of on hinges. The truth is, that the door was in bubble wrap when I bought it, so it seems I bought an illegal boat and sailed an illegal boat.
You all know Kenny Keiding (Note: not all of you know Kenny, but we do and he is genuinely a good dude. - Ed). He is responsible for taking care of my boats and making sure they are legal. He made a mistake and I sailed an illegal boat without knowing it. Well, I am the captain of my ship and it is my boat, so it is ultimately my responsibility. The buck stops here.
PHRF SoCal has sanctioned me for three months - and I accept their sanction. I had no desire to cheat. But "stuff" happens. At least I didn't use any performance enhancing drugs (except for the glass of pinot grigio at the end of my races).
To those of you who said nice things about me...thank you. To those of you who didn't say nice things about me...you're welcome.
Warmly,
Dr Laura ..02/23/09
The Right Thing. Done.In last week's e-anarchy we reported that PHRF-SoCal was bringing Dr. Laura Schlesinger in for disciplinary proceedings after they learned that her J/92s was modified without notification – something the new owners found out and immediately reported to PHRF. That's the same boat that won a heap of regattas, apparently after having part of the interior cut out of it without a ratings change. We also heard reports that the good doc's J/125 had some work done to it over the winter, which raised further questions about the type of "program" that Schlesinger was running.According to Anarchist "Enola Gay", Doctor Laura got a 3-month PHRF ban and the J/125 is already sold and on a truck headed East. We recommend taking a hard look at it if it shows up at a regatta near you.

unfathomable!!

CPAC-the conservative political asshole conference

the first word in conservative is CON....

and this event looked like a KKK rally! the conservatives are the funniest show in town! all the crazies were there: John Bolton, Ann Coulter, Mitt, and of course Rush Limbaugh, who looked like a fat little chipmonk with a mouth full of ACORNS! Eight years of the Bush Administration has allowed these cockroaches to come out of the woodwork and poison America with fear and ignorance, they are all criminals!!
SO let's take a look at some of the favorite white collar crime these easy money proponents like to commit...

TYPES OF CONSERVATIVE WHITE COLLAR CRIME
-Bank Fraud:
To engage in an act or pattern of activity where the purpose is to defraud a bank of funds.
-Blackmail:
A demand for money or other consideration under threat to do bodily harm, to injure property, to accuse of a crime, or to expose secrets.
-Bribery:
When money, goods, services, information or anything else of value is offered with intent to influence the actions, opinions, or decisions of the taker. You may be charged with bribery whether you offer the bribe or accept it.
-Cellular Phone Fraud:
The unauthorized use, tampering, or manipulation of a cellular phone or service. This can be accomplished by either use of a stolen phone,or where an actor signs up for service under false identification or where the actor clones a valid electronic serial number (ESN) by using an ESN reader and reprograms another cellular phone with a valid ESN number.
-Computer fraud:
Where computer hackers steal information sources contained on computers such as: bank information, credit cards, and proprietary information.
-Counterfeiting:
Occurs when someone copies or imitates an item without having been authorized to do so and passes the copy off for the genuine or original item. Counterfeiting is most often associated with money however can also be associated with designer clothing, handbags and watches.
-Credit Card Fraud:
The unauthorized use of a credit card to obtain goods of value.
-Currency Schemes:
The practice of speculating on the future value of currencies.
-Embezz1ement:
When a person who has been entrusted with money or property appropriates it for his or her own use and benefit.
-Environmental Schemes:
The overbilling and fraudulent practices exercised by corporations which purport to clean up the environment.
-Extortion:
Occurs when one person illegally obtains property from another by actual or threatened force, fear, or violence, or under cover of official right.
-Forgery:
When a person passes a false or worthless instrument such as a check or counterfeit security with the intent to defraud or injure the recipient.
-Health Care Fraud:
Where an unlicensed health care provider provides services under the guise of being licensed and obtains monetary benefit for the service.
-Insider Trading:
When a person uses inside, confidential, or advance information to trade in shares of publicly held corporations.
-Insurance Fraud:
To engage in an act or pattern of activity wherein one obtains proceeds from an insurance company through deception.
-Investment Schemes:
Where an unsuspecting victim is contacted by the actor who promises to provide a large return on a small investment.
-Kickback:
Occurs when a person who sells an item pays back a portion of the purchase price to the buyer.
-Larceny/Theft:
When a person wrongfully takes another person's money or property with the intent to appropriate, convert or steal it.
-Money Laundering:
The investment or transfer of money from racketeering, drug transactions or other embezzlement schemes so that it appears that its original source either cannot be traced or is legitimate.
-Racketeering:
The operation of an illegal business for personal profit.
-Securities Fraud:
The act of artificially inflating the price of stocks by brokers so that buyers can purchase a stock on the rise.
-Tax Evasion:
When a person commits fraud in filing or paying taxes.
-Telemarketing Fraud:
Actors operate out of boiler rooms and place telephone calls to residences and corporations where the actor requests a donation to an alleged charitable organization or where the actor requests money up front or a credit card number up front, and does not use the donation for the stated purpose.
-Welfare Fraud:
To engage in an act or acts where the purpose is to obtain benefits (i.e. Public Assistance, Food Stamps, or Medicaid) from the State or Federal Government.
-Weights and Measures:
The act of placing an item for sale at one price yet charging a higher price at the time of sale or short weighing an item when the label reflects a higher weight.
TYPES OF WHITE COLLAR SCHEMES
Advanced Fee Schemes:
-Actor induces victim to give him some type of advanced fee in return for a future benefit. The future benefit never occurs and victim never receives the advanced fee back.
-Airport Scam:
Actor approaches victim in an airport stating that the newspaper stand cannot change his one hundred dollar bill and asks the victim for change. Victim provides actor with the change, actor returns to the store to get the one hundred dollar bill back, however, never returns to victim.
-Auto Repair:
Actor hangs out around an auto repair shop and approaches victims who leave after getting estimates. Actor claims to do work off duty at a very low cost. Once actor has the car, inferior work is completed and victim cannot get the return of the car until the very high bill is paid.
-Check Kiting:
A bank account is opened with good funds and a rapport is developed with the bank. Actor then deposits a series of bad checks but prior to their discovery, withdraws funds from the bank.
-Coupon Redemption:
Grocery stores amass large amounts of coupons and redeem them to manufacturers when in fact merchandise was never sold.
-Directory Advertising:
Actor either impersonates sales person from a directory company like the yellow pages or fraudulently sells advertising which the victim never receives.
-Fortune Telling:
Actor advises victim that victim is cursed. Actor advises victim that the curse must be removed. Actor advises that she must meditate to the spirits and will require payment. Over a period of time, victim pays fortune teller thousands of dollars to remove curse.
-Gypsies:
Actor states that victims money is cursed. In order to remove the curse, the money must be placed into a bag or box that the actor provides. The bag or box is switched. Actor advises victim to perform certain rituals over the money and the curse will be removed. The bag or box cannot be opened for a period of time when it is opened, the money is gone.
-Home Improvement:
Actor approaches a home owner with a very low estimate for a repair or improvement. Inferior or incomplete work is performed. Once the repairs are completed, actor intimidates the victim to pay a price much greater than the original estimate.
-Jamaican Switch:
Actor #1 approaches a victim looking for the address of a prostitute. Actor #1 shows a large sum of money to the victim. Actor #2 arrives and tells Actor #1 where he can find the prostitute but cautions on taking all the money as the prostitute might rob him. Actor #1 asks the victim to hold the money for him. Actor #1 puts his money into a handkerchief with the victims money. Actor #1 shows the victim how to hide the money under his arm, inside his shirt while switching handkerchiefs. Victim takes the handkerchief and the parties split up, however, Actor #1 leaves with victims money.
-Land Fraud:
Actor induces victim to purchase tracks of land in some type of retirement development which does not exist.
-Odometer Fraud:
Unscrupulous used car salesman purchased used cars and turn back the odometers. The used car is sold at a higher price due to its low mileage.
-Pigeon Drop:
Actor #1 befriends the victim. Actor #2 shows both Actor #1 and victim a "found" package containing a large amount of cash. Actor #1 insists that the found money be divided equally but only after each person puts up his own money to demonstrate good faith. All the money is put in one package and the package is later switched.
-Police Impersonation:
Actor tells victim that his bank is being operated by fraudulent bank officers. Actor instructs victim to take money out of bank and place it into a good bank. After the money is withdrawn, the actor allegedly takes the money to the police station for safe keeping. The victim never sees the money again.
-Ponzi:
An investment scheme where the actor solicits investors in a business venture, promising extremely high financial returns or dividends in a very short period of time. The actor never invests the money, however, does pay dividends. The dividends consist of the newest investors funds. The first investors, pleased to receive dividends, encourage new investors to invest. This scheme falls apart when the actor no longer has sufficient new investors to distribute dividends to the old investors or the actor simply takes all the funds and leaves the area.
-Pyramid:
An investment fraud in which an individual is offered a distributorship or franchise to market a particular product. The promoter of the pyramid represents that although marketing of the product will result in profits, larger profits will be earned by the sale of franchises. For example, if a franchise price is $10,000.00, the seller receives $3,500.00 for every franchise sold. Each new franchise purchaser is presented with the same proposal so that each franchise owner is attempting to sell franchises. Once the supply of potential investors is exhausted, the pyramid collapses. Many times, there are no products involved in the franchise, simply just the exchange of money.
-Quick Change:
Victim is confused by actors speedy series of money exchanges and in the end, is short changed.
-Shell Game:
Actor #1 manipulates a pea beneath three walnut shells or bottle caps. Actor #1 moves the caps around and shows victim the cap with the pea under it. With the encouragement of another player, also Actor #2, victim places larger and larger bets as to which cap contains the pea. The game is ended by Actor #1 when the take is large enough.
-Utilities Impersonators:
Actor impersonates utilities employees by wearing jumpsuits with name tags. Actor approaches victim with story about a gas leak or electrical surge to gain entry to the home. Valuables are taken by actor.
-VCR Scam:
Actor purports to sell new VCR's or televisions at an extremely low cost due to his connections. Victim pays for the VCR or television only to discover that the box has been filled with rocks.

go DVD!