Penelope on me..

is that all there is??


I have not been to the SBIFF because I will not glorify pretty people or pretty ugly people or people who try to be pretty...I don't need to talk to a celebrity to feel good about myself...I can't imagine standing for hours waiting for a starlet to walk down the red carpet while the peons try to get a glimpse...I mean, what is this nonsense? Actors and stages, now fall before the truth: you're not that important! For musicians on the other hand, I could easily be a groupie..people with real skills whose art can move me to tears..but these actresses? While they are very pretty and probably smell good, what have they done but act in some pretty dopey movies? I could do that for peets sake! Ten days..ten days of this?? Honoring people for...acting and directing! It is out of proportion..out of whack.. the faces aren't real..they've been chopped up to look younger, but end up looking puffy like Peggy Lee...Mickey Rourke looks like Peggy Lee!! Is that the goal..is that why they are being glorified? For facelifts?
The last time I went to the Lobero I saw a real artist, a musical genius, Brian Wilson..I hear Bri will be honored at the SBIFF for his latest album, the Lucky Old Sun DVD, which is ok by me..I mean, he deserves it..and Penelope Cruz will be honored at the Lobero, too...Penelope Cruz? She's cute, real fine and sexy but let that be the honor, not some overdone two hour beatification of her acting skills!
and don't forget ol' Clint..he deserves something for all the good entertainment and westerns..I watched them..I guess we're all watchers to some degree....voyeurs in love...

Bodacious Cowboys...

& wide open spaces...

If someone offered me a free ranch in Santa Ynez, I'd take it...I'd go there to get away from the city blues..commune with the wildlife..the coyotes and mountain lions and bears..they'd be welcome on my ranch anytime..a part of the family. I'd grow my own food..have chickens and peacocks and cows and horses...and beautiful ranch cowgirls running around half naked..we'd have BBQs and watch the sun rise..and plant by the light of the moon...wow! That's my idealized version of the Santa Ynez Valley..lately, my visions have been tampered with..by the Chumash and the big ranchers..the valley has changed or has it, and I've got to find out which it is.....
The news rolling down the Chumash Highway is not good...casino crime, drunk drivers, winos, fighting between cowboys and Indians; gambling mafia, limosines full of drunken Republicans..not exactly my kinda town..so where lies the truth? Will I wake up with a horse's head in my bed if I snoop around the casino? are there really fat cowboys and cowgirls?? are there gay Indians???
WHAT THE HAY is going on up there???
I used to live on some local historic ranches.. ranch owners do come in different colors..some are crazy and some are cool, creative and pioneering...let's root out the crazies and restore some pride to the ranching and farming community! Give me John Wayne..you can keep skinny Willie Chamberlain!
and there was always work to be done, always chores..so how can you be fat?
Perhaps you have all the gauchos doing the work for you, then you get fat..that must be it. I went to the rodeo last year and saw some wide cowboys and felt sorry for the horses; I saw Willy Chamberlain..he looked like an old skinny steer-bull-femme, ambling up the walkway! and there's Nancy Crawford Hall, who gave $100000 to Steve Pappas..talk about pay-to-play...then she goes on and pisses off the parents of UCSB students, telling them that their kids are too stupid to vote..Students unite, stand up to these inbred rich ranch folk...you are the future, they are the past. Cow shit should never be a substitute for horse sense!
Happy Birthday Dr. Laura! Here's my present!
I see Dr. Laura has grown more introspective since leaving the News-Press...she quotes French writer Jean Paul Sartre! Stunning...Dr. Laura, I vant to Fronsh kees your leetle poosie!!
Finallyment: Old Navy is closing up a bunch of stores..will the State Street shop go back to Earthling Books?
and go round and round and round, in the circle game...

Avocado Scandal!!!

Carpinteria Shamed....is nothing sacred???
LATIMES

GOD DAMMIT...I said GOD DAMMIT!! Now avocados aren't safe from corruption? Avocados..I spent many long, spiritual hours in Carpinteria avocado groves watching the cats run around, watching the sun light cast golden shadows, taking in the aroma of the lemon and avocado leaves as the soft wind blew thru the ranch..I was at one with nature..avocado ranchers were my heroes..the last of the real California west pioneers...now I hear we got a scandal and it involves that fat fuck from Saddleback Church, Rick Warren....and avocados. AVOCADOS!!
The California Avocado Commission came under fire Friday when a state audit found that employees spent growers’ money on personal items such as home improvements, gym memberships, massages, designers clothes, facials, a plasma TV and tickets to see the Anaheim Ducks and Los Angeles Angels.The California Department of Food and Agriculture audit has been submitted for review to the state Department of Justice. MASSAGES AND FACIALS!!!???
SHADY....
Carpinteria grower Rick Shade, chairman of the board that oversees the commission, said steps are being taken to correct any problems. Shade, a Carpinteria grower who has been on the board for a decade, also defended some of the spending and disputed some of the criticism. "I don't feel it was all that lavish," he said, "but I agree that certain areas had problems." Don't feel it was all that lavish??? FUCK YOU, SHADE!!! YOU'RE ON MY RADAR NOW, PAL!!! You got about 3 more seconds on the commission!!
Much of the report focuses on Mark Affleck, the commission’s chief executive officer who resigned in May..and is a long time member of Rick Warren's corrupt lame ass church!!
Affleck preaches: jesussaves

Rick Warren, author of "A Purpose Driven Life" (to steal from the sheep in his flock). I cannot believe the mindless fools who believe this guy is a spiritual leader..he's a jerkoff!! Now.... I wanna know how many more members of the motherfucking Saddleback Church are also members of the goddam motherfucking California Avocado Commission..
this is the last straw...these folks are gonna hear from me and you can bet I'm not gonna give them my recipe for guacamole!!

As the World Unfolds...

Nipper unloads.. Mick uploads.. Wendy explodes.. bloggers download...

Is there any business in town, ever, that has had to explain itself as often as the News-Press?
Nippers.com

says Nipper:
"Yes, the newspaper industry is in a financial meltdown and what you have been seeing here at the Santa Barbara News-Press is being played out across the nation. Papers are shrinking (literally) and ads and content are suffering.
Thousands of jobs have been lost from the LA Times to the New York Times as subscribers and advertisers have disappeared. The News-Press saw these problems early on and tried to make changes. Changes like getting reporters to be accountable and to produce more local, unbiased articles. The only thing we have at the News-Press is local news. You can get national news on the Internet or through cable television. Did you know that before the walkout in 2006 a number of reporters at the News-Press were only writing one article a week, some only one article a month? People needed to roll up their sleeves and work if this business was to survive. They didn't like the idea of more work so they walked out. The Travis and Lowe issues were just a sideshow. They couldn't generate public sympathy if they addressed the real issue, not wanting to work or follow the rules.Did you know that Jerry Roberts, the former News-Press Editor sued over the thread that was on Nippers about the News-Press issues? He believed that the "Hamburger" satire was about him (although his name was never mentioned in it) and he sued for $200,000. Interesting how the "champion of free speech" will use a legal hammer to smash anything written that could be remotely critical of him.We have also had more than just the economy hit the News-Press. The on-going campaign by the Teamsters union to get people to cancel their subscriptions and advertisers to pull their ads has taken a toll. On top of that are the stratospheric legal costs to battle their barrage of legal proceedings. Every time we lose a subscriber or an advertiser, that directly affects every employee at the paper. If the union truly cared about employees they would stop trying to destroy their livelihood.Local media has not reported on the other side of the News-Press story. Their motivation is to tear down a major competitor. If you are truly interested in the other side, visit wendywendywendy

and read. You might also look at what Mrs. McCaw does for your town. She gives millions of dollars to local Santa Barbara non-profits every year. From the Granada restoration project, to the County Bowl to Unity and animal rescue centers."

cancel my subscription to the resurrection...

Pleasant Valley Saturday...

the biggest losers....

My other new female newspaper-person interest is Nancy Crawford Hall of the Santa Ynez Valley Journal, whose mission statement is to perform the valuable service of informing and educating members of the public (except UCSB students) about rural life, gov't, local life and when community meetings take place...she also loves to tell us how rich she is, bragging about her travels and land she owns in Hawaii; her relatives in England, her trips abroad..so is it any wonder that she is the money machine behind Steve Pappas? Pappas lost the 3rd district election to Doreen Farr, but can't quite accept that fact..and now he's trying to buy the election with recounts, lawsuits..the question is why Nancy wants Pappas so badly (sex?)...I 'm not a valley girl so I don't know the mindset over there..some like casinos, wine bars, tourists and others don't...I think Nancy's big fear is gov't regulation of her land..like we're all not regulated in some way. I'm all for protecting ag land and water rights, but I think some of these wealthy valley land owners have some sneaky plans up their sleeves..and it is not at all about protecting the valley, more about feeding their greed....Nancy wouldn't be crying so loud about gov't intrusion, real or perceived, unless her pork was threatened..you follow me? Maybe some details will come my way in the future..so far it's just a gut thing...but politics in the valley just got a little more interesting..
I also have a hard time with people who can't accept losing...losing is a fact of life..we all can't be winners like me, so some of you need to be losers..like Fat Chick Nancy and Steve Pappas..now we got more overpaid lawyers in the mix with extraordinary stories of invalid votes..more delay tactics straight out of loser Wendy's playbook....when are you big fat losers going to grow up and be adults?? and Pappas says he's an independent or non-partisan but he's a bought and paid for Republican..kinda like Nancy's racehorse who came up lame..really lame..

Mother Nature's Bastard Son....

look at the nature..Francine!

I get a little annoyed sometimes at all the natural beauty that surrounds us..I mean day after day of sunrises, sunsets, ocean views, unspoiled mountains, wild animals...it's a bit much..maybe it's good we got folks like Greka to mess it up a little....nahhh!
The president of Greka Oil, Andrew deVegvar, wishes the press and media like KSBY would leave him alone when his company spills oil..he claims the criticism is political and sees the problems as minor... he says the latest round of spills which produced another stop work order was human error, which happens sometimes. A worker opened the wrong valve and sent oil spilling on land leased by Greka from Brooks Firestone..again..again..again..again..that's the problem Andy, the again part....your operators wouldn't keep making these mistakes if they knew what they were doing..you need to train them, certify them or get the hell out of the oil business.. oil spills are not to be rationalized away or hidden, they are to be STOPPED, dickhead... they are unacceptable as any conscientious operator will tell you....private biz, I tell ya..what scumbags!
YOU SUCK!!
Brooksie leases land to Greka and he should be horsewhipped but I have to cut him some slack because he's friends with George Martin of Beatles fame..otherwise, I'd kick his ass!

BOGUS CLAIMS in January 2008
Greka Oil & Gas Launches Major Improvement Program
Greka Green Initiative Will Remove Tons of Out-of-Service Equipment and Develop a System-Wide Infrastructure Improvement Plan SANTA MARIA, Calif.--(Business Wire)--Greka Oil and Gas, Inc. announced today a major "Greka Green" initiative which will affect all of its facilities and is designed to make Greka an environmental leader among Santa Barbara County's oil and gas operators. "We've always taken very seriously our responsibility to operate in an environmentally safe and sound manner," said Greka President Andrew deVegvar. "In fact, since acquiring these facilities nine years ago, Greka has spent tens of millions of dollars for upgrades and modern alarm systems."
article
So this is a warning, Andy, you stupid fucking moron oilheaded dimwitted shitbrained scatsucking knucklehead..CLEAN UP YOUR ACT OR GET OUT OF THE BUSINESS..or I, MVC, mother nature's good son, will pay you a little visit.....

Helloooooo, Marylou.....

dear things....

I know some of you younger women out there may have some hopped up romantic inclinations towards me..fully understandable, but I need to point out a few things before you let your hearts go.. I demand that you exercise..at least 4 times a week on the bike or running; leg tatoos are a NO-NO! I demand discipline..if you break my rules, you get spanked.. if you are good, then with all the tenderness I can muster, you get a massage.. that's called justice...I can meter out justice and I can peter out justice, but I'll never cut your head off and store it in the fridge...

if you look like Lauren Bacall, you're in for free; I sing but I'm no Ricky Nelson..or Ricky Suave even...I 'm just a guy with a computer, a few bikes and a few very expensive, valuable guitars and real estate...you want a piece of me? Is that it? Is that it? Some of you lil kittens still have boyfriends..well that's fine..I used to be someone's boyfriend too and boyfriends are the LOWEST class citizens in the world... we are the statues and the girls are the seagulls..SPLATT!!always taking the brunt of the girl's changing heart...we hang on to the bitter end and then, after regaining our senses, leave when they've diminished us to confused amoeba. Boyfriends have a shelf life of about 2 to 3 years..guys, you need to write that into the contract unless the sex has you so hooked you're like a junkie..then I'll just pray for you..I offer pity but you know as well as I do you get what you deserve..now...what about married women? Married is just another term for "joined at the brain"...you simply can't compete with a husband, ex, separated or present.. no matter how much of a lowlife he is..if he fathered children with her, he'll be like a god and you will be the houseboy..and same thing for the ladies..OK? We straight on all the possible complications of the heart? Now go out there and start shredding..
I leave you with a little wisdom from Lao Tsu: Good binding requires no knots....