Sunday, November 30, 2008
A Natural Man...
Saturday, November 29, 2008
I got a BS in BS from Channel Islands University!
story
Now, do you really think killing 5000 pigs and "removing" a few golden eagles had anything to do with the "recovery"..of course not! First of all, they didn't recover..they were not endangered to begin with.. the population fluctuated for a number of reasons, distemper
Animal Cruelty has been a felony in California since 1988 and carries a maximum jail term of three years ... and exterminating animals for being labeled non-native is animal cruelty, pure and simple.. I am pro-hunting but most hunters will tell you this is mindless slaughter...how long before these inane policies spread to the mainland..US Fish and Wildlife people come knocking on your door wanting to confiscate your dog or cat for being "non-native"!
Bionativism rears its ugly head again as the "science of malice and intolerance"...Parks Biologists continue their cowardly actions... this is not hunting or culling, this is extermination..there's big difference! Did you ever see the ads on TV..drug companies have flooded the market with drugs that are supposed to treat everything from ADD to ED (both made-up disorders!)..but the drugs have side effects that CAN KILL YOU! It is absurd what they try to sell and what they expect the public to swallow....these are the tactics used by biologists on the Channel Islands..the side effects of restoration are much worse than the supposed disease or cure...biologists create an ecological "problem" or disease and then offer a cure..if the public buys into it, you got a job for life..killing things that create "problems!! It is an absolutely foolish way to approach or control nature...the consequences are everywhere..poison, removing "non-native" plants that stabilize soils..it is a mindset that needs to change, or the taxpayers will be throwing money into an abyss forever.
The restorations must be accompanied by an independent media...people need to see the poisoning, killing and destruction that goes on and the consequences to the environment....
Species wiped out by "biologists" so far on the Channel Islands:
pig eradication to benefit island fox ...(or native species)
turkey eradication to benefit island fox...
sheep eradication to benefit island fox...
fennel eradication to benefit island fox...
golden eagle eradication/removal to benefit island fox..
rat eradication to benefit island fox..
raccoons killed
deer to be killed for being "invasive"
olive trees gone because they are non -native
and the latest proposal..kill all cats on San Nicolas island..a year long killing spree
The bottom line is this is hype..pure and simple...the fox would have been fine with the pigs and golden eagles. This was island species cleansing...and a shameful chapter in the Parks Service and Nature Conservancy legacy..
Friday, November 28, 2008
cover up my head..
so NewsPress... stop bitching, accept the community's goodwill and help to those who deserve it.. and especially to those who don't..
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Eh! Hosers! Happy Thanksgiving...
Hey, how's the weather down there in good ol' Santa Barbara..you know if you scramble the letters in Santa you come up with Satan..hey hey my my..
Well, Me, Trig and Shooter went out to the north forty and bagged a turkey and a liberal..see the pics! That's the neck-breakin' contraption in the back ground there...that sucker never had a chance...I am
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Three Days of the Turkey...
I recall one time he called city workers "miscreants" for gathering at City Hall during union negotiations..so now we have Randy writing for the Daily Sound and blaming the auto workers for the Big Three money problems...let me clear this up for you Randy..blue collars workers aren't to blame..white collar management is to blame..Enron, Aig, CitiGroup, and all the others living too high on the turkey, mismanaging, not caring at all about the companies....the autoworkers made major concessions to keep the GM, Ford and the other guy solvent..but management kept screwing up..and the shareholders didn't demand they be fired! So this is not about unions, Randy Dickhead, this is about MISMANAGEMENT...workers in America demand a decent wage, benefits for their families and a stake in the company they work for..if managers don't understand that, they are destined to fail..to be failures, like you...you probably drive a little Prius you little pussy...
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Idle Waggers...
Since Santa Barbara restaurants won't let dogs in, Dr. Laura decided to kill her little poodle Beebe and stuff it! That way she can bring it into posh Montecito eatery Tre Lune and dine without worries! The dog's neck was broken by putting it head first into one of those turkey -killing machines they use in Alaska that Sarah Palin showed us..just put the turkey or animal head first into the machine, then pull a lever and break its neck... Simple and effective...
Dr. Laura invited cute piece of ass to her YouTube show to discuss..LESBIAN SEX!! Notice the young tart looking at camera with smiley anticipation! I wanna watch you two on youtube...please..I'll beg like a dog, Laura..PLEASE!!
after seeing this story, the Channel Islands biologists and Nature Con contracted the Iraq police to "take care" of the remaining "non-native" varmints on the islands...
BAGHDAD (Nov. 23) - Baghdad authorities killed more than 200 stray dogs on Sunday, the opening day of a campaign to cull dog packs roaming the capital that was prompted by a spate of fatal attacks on residents.
Three teams of veterinarians and police officers used poisoned meat and rifles to kill the animals, said Dr. Hassan Chaloub, an official at the veterinary hospital supervising the effort. He said the capital has no dog shelters. ...now dogs are terrorists!!?
We invaded Iraq to liberate these idiots??
Monday, November 24, 2008
Monday Morning Quarterback...
On November 22, 2008, Baumgartner was annouced as the Grand Marshall of Santa Barbara's Holiday Parade on December 5, 2008
now would someone tell me why??
how about a firefighter or volunteer or local employee??
visit SBDowntown to voice your displeasure..
VATICAN CITY - The Vatican's newspaper has finally forgiven John Lennon for declaring that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ, calling the remark a "boast" by a young man grappling with sudden fame.
The comment by Lennon to a London newspaper in 1966 infuriated Christians, particularly in the United States, some of whom burned Beatles' albums in huge pyres. "The remark by John Lennon, which triggered deep indignation mainly in the United States, after many years sounds only like a 'boast' by a young working-class Englishman faced with unexpected success, after growing up in the legend of Elvis and rock and roll," Vatican daily Osservatore Romano said.
The article, marking the 40th anniversary of the Beatles' "The White Album," went on to praise the pop band.
"The fact remains that 38 years after breaking up, the songs of the Lennon-McCartney brand have shown an extraordinary resistance to the passage of time, becoming a source of inspiration for more than one generation of pop musicians," it said.
very sexy...
Nipper informs us in his girlfriend's paper he has won the prestigious IRHA for radio travel show "Around the World"...
Sunday, November 23, 2008
This is your nose...
the Miramar Connection
Now, how does all this relate to the Miramar? Well, Schrager and Wendy's ex Craig McCaw gave money to junk bond crook Michael Milken who was found guilty of fraud and tax evasion and one hundred other things related to investment schemes..his karma was soooo bad he developed prostrate cancer in his 40's. Then he tries to atone by starting a cancer research foundation..that is where all the donations are going..millions upon millions for cancer research..the most researched disease in the history of the world! The point of all this is nosegays of a feather grow together! This is why the NewsPress tried to paint Schrager's brief ownership of the Miramar as a resounding success! They crowed about how well the cottages were kept until Neil Diamond lookalike Rick Caruso got a hold of them...
and I wouldn't be a bit surprised if NewsPress sympathizer Elaine-from-Seinfeld, or even Oprah, was a cokehead, too...
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Boogie Nights....
the original Twisted Sisters of Disco...Nipper and his idols, Ian Schrager and Steve Rubell...
In fact, the partners in the unique concept say they will open units in Chicago, New York, Dallas, Houston and other cities.
How can a steady volume be generated by such a limited menu? The proprietors of Nipper's say that the allure of champagne is at least a partial explanation.
Some 89 varieties of French champagne--in a volume representing over 5% of the nation's annual consumption of imported bubbly--are poured for patrons of this peculiar hybrid, a champagne-themed nightclub-restaurant-disco.
Among Nipper's clientele is one regular who drops $1,000 nearly every day to entertain a few friends with champagne and the few available comestible "indulgences." Other well-heeled customers flock to Nipper's for private parties, one such group of 100 recently picking up a $35,000 tab. Nipper's normal capacity of about 150 can swell to more than 1,000 guests on occasion, when parties spill over to adjacent outdoor terraces.
Without the expenses of a traditional kitchen, and with labor costs of only 12% and food costs of less than 30% of sales, this offbeat entry into the luxury market is garnering the kind of profit margin that has inspired expansionism.
The two European-raised entrepreneurs responsible for Nipper's, Horatio Lonsdale-Hands and Arthur von Wiesenberger, intend to open 10 more Nipper's ("A dancing & drinking club open to gentlemen & ladies only") in American and Canadian cities from coast to coast over the next two years.
The cork-popping duo, who met when they were in their teens on the ski slopes of Switzerland, first turned their mutual affinity for champagne and caviar into a business reality little more than two years ago in Montecito, Calif., and affluent suburb of Santa Barbara.
The success of their initial Nipper's engendered the larger Beverly Hills unit, which opened last May on pricey Rodeo Drive in the exclusive Rodeo Collection mall. Annualized first-year sales volume, which reportedly will approach $2 million in the 2,200-sq.-ft., two-level Beverly Hills Nipper's, has given Lonsdale-Hands and von Wiesenberger reason to expect a $1.5 million per-unit minimum annual sales potential in each of their planned champagne-and-caviar emporiums.
Those units would open in Chicago, New York City, Dallas, Houston, Montreal, Toronto, Palm Beach, Boston, Denver and San Francisco.
The Patron who spends $1,000 a day at Nipper's may not be typical. Still, Nipper's appears to have found a niche in attracting "not the bulk crowd, but the quality crowd," according to Lonsdale-Hands.
Fern-bar fatigue and singles-bar saturation may have helped create the upscale consumer market being tapped by Nipper's and a host of other champagne-specialty concepts in cities across the country.
Meanwhile the owners of Nipper's are diligently capitalizing on the resurgence of interest in their prestigious, effervescent libation.
Lonsdale-Hands, who gravitated into investment banking from an earlier career in hospitality with Hilton, Intercontinental and Trust-house Forte hotels, now spends most of his waking hours at Nipper's as a proponent of Champagne and an upholder of "the good life."
Partner von Wiesenberger, a travel documentary filmmaker and author of books about bottled waters, exotic foods and champagne, is also thoroughly involved in promoting Nipper's sophisticated market niche. He helped modify the Nipper's concept from its origins as a champagne-and-wine tasting bar that also served various hors, d'oeuvres, had backgammon boards for entertainment and featured a retail wine shop section.
Initial success for the partners came in the wake of considerable conceptual finetuning. "We were not an overnight success in Santa Barbara," Lonsdale-Hands admits. "It took us nine months to make a name for ourselves."
After customer requests, the choice of five champagnes on Nipper's first wine list was expanded into what is now purportedly the largest array of French sparkling wines offered anywhere on earth under one roof.
Hors d'oeuvres were refined and limited to the current rarefield lineup of caviars, pate, fromage and patisserie. Backgammon and retail wine sales, incompatible with the partners' higher-volume business plan, were replaced by a thirst- and appetite-inducing disco dance floor and plusher surroundings.
Three house champagnes are offered by the glass from a selection that changes every six weeks, at prices that might range from $6.50 to $12.50 a glass. Full-bottle prices range from $32 for a current house selection to as high as $3,300 for a 1914 Moet et Chandon Brut Imperial. Six of Moet's Dom Perignon vintages range in price from $120 to $720 (for a magnum of 1971 rose).
Soviet and Iranian Beluga caviar sell for $35 per ounce. Iranian Ossetra Malassol caviar is $25 an ounce. An ounce of Russian Sevruga is $19. A portion of fresh pate de foie de canard is $15; a wedge of imported Brie is $5. Nipper's gateau au chocolat is also $5.
Though not listed on the seven-page menu, a few brands of beer, house wines by the glass and mineral waters are available.
Nipper's opens daily, except Sunday, at 4 p.m. At 10:30 p.m. a disc jockey takes over from taped music and a disco party begins on the upstairs dance floor. A cover charge of $10 on Thursday nights, and $15 on Fridays and Saturdays, ensures a degree of exclusivity and provides a tidy boost to revenue.
At the rate of about 20,000 cases of champagne sold per year in the Montecito and Beverly Hills units, Lonsdale-Hands and von Wiesenberger claim that Nipper's customers drink nearly 4% of the champagne imported from France into the United States annually, and about 5.5% of the French export actually consumed each year by Americans.
"I don't think most people, even those in the industry, are quite aware yet just how much champagne we sell," von Wiesenberger says, estimating that a cork pops for a Nipper's customer every 50 seconds.
Chicago is destined to be the next town where Nipper's pops its cork. An opening there by midyear would be the first of three new units planned for 1985.
COPYRIGHT 1985 Reproduced with permission of the copyright holder. Further reproduction or distribution is prohibited without permission.COPYRIGHT 2008 Gale, Cengage Learning
http://www.drakkar91.com/54/
When a large hanging spoon came to rest under its nose, the man-in-the-moon lit up. They christened the club Studio 54, and the doors opened on April 16, 1977.
From the beginning, Shrager stayed in the background, in his office with the books, while Rubell pampered and partied with superstar guests like Andy Warhol and Liza Minelli. Almost overnight, Studio 54 became the hottest disco in New York, and to people in every corner of the globe it symbolized the decadence and hedonism of the Me Decade. Rubell guarded Studio’s door like a hawk, only letting in those he deemed glamorous enough. He also strove to find the perfect combination of black and white, straight and gay—what he called "mixing the salad." He was often rude to people he felt weren’t trying hard enough, saying things like, "Go home and change," or simply, "You’re ugly." But few wanted to argue with success; in its first year, Studio 54 made an estimated $7 million.
December, 1978*
After Rubell publicly bragged one too many times about how much the club was taking in, federal agents armed with guns and a search warrant raided the premises. Schrager is arrested for possession of cocaine.
June, 1979
Rubell & Schrager are charged with tax evasion, obstruction of justice and conspiracy.
December, 1979*
The club and owners are busted by 50 IRS Agents after being tip-offed by a disgruntled former employee and an article in a November 12, 1979 issue of New York Magazine.
*There were two IRS raids of the club. The first in December 1978. The second one (depicted in the movie "54" as 12/31/79) occurred in December, 1979.
January 18, 1980
Despite hiring heavyweight attorney Roy Cohn to defend them, Rubell and Schrager were each sentenced to 3 ½ years in federal prison and fined $20,000 each for tax evasion.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Jail House Rock!
BLOOMFIELD, Ind. (Nov. 20) - Three male and three
The inmates figured out how to remove metal ceiling panels in the Greene County Jail and used the passageway more than a dozen times in September and October, according to court documents.
The men — ages 44, 38 and 17 — and the women — ages 27, 26 and 21 — crawled through the ceiling after midnight, having sexual encounters and drinking homemade alcohol that was found hidden in the male cell block, a police affidavit said.
One male inmate who was not charged said the female inmates would "hang-out, play cards or have sex with some of the male inmates" in their cell block, the affidavit said.
The inmates were able to find a security camera "blind spot" where they could remove ceiling tiles and create a passage between the cell blocks, Sheriff Terry Pierce said Tuesday.
The inmates used a shower drain as a tool to loosen security screws and the ceiling tiles were carefully replaced so they did not appear to be disturbed, Pierce said.
"We could not see it," he said.
The ceiling panels have since been secured, and Pierce said he was seeking funding to improve security at the jail, which was built in 1994 in the city about 25 miles southeast of Bloomington.
Pierce called the inmates' activities "embarrassing" to himself and his staff.
"If your facility has a flaw, if you house prisoners in it, they will show you. They will find it," he said. "We're going to have to find a way to have a better security system."
Prosecutors have filed felony escape charges against the six inmates, who were awaiting trial on a variety of charges. Five of the inmates remain in the Greene County Jail, while one has been transferred to the Monroe County Jail in Bloomington.
Pierce said the investigation is ongoing and other current or former jail inmates may be charged.
Copyright 2008 The Associated Press.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Bag o' Shit!
Cats are not a problem because, unlike dogs, they have manners and never leave a trace! Cool little animals except for the fleas and shedding issues...and the scary weird vacant stare they give you sometimes..I usually leave the room during those episodes...
the moral of the story is PICK UP AFTER YOUR DOGS!! (except, of course, mutts who look like Toto)
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Bonfires of the Vanities
Now we hear that the Tea Fire was caused by a group of students who built a bon fire up at the Tea House during a little party..they thought they put it out before they left, but the embers were flamed by sundowner winds and a catastrophe happened... there's nothing wrong with partying at the Tea House..everyone did it as kids..it's private property but never had any guards or measures to stop people from sneaking up there..so naturally, we all did. All that's up there is ruins and an awesome feeling of privacy...so I don't blame the students for being young..but the bonfire issue was beyond stupid...open fires do not belong in the hills of Santa Barbara! You shouldn't need a college degree to figure that out!
so kids....drop out of school, get a job, tell mom and dad politely to fuck off, and then your real education will start....
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
the Well-Dressed Men...
the Santa Barbara version of "Blue Velvet"
starring Nipper and newest sidekick Don Katich as the "well-dressed man" ...
Some of the lowlights were Nipper trying to explain away the demise of the NewsPress with comments like "newsroom
The kicker was his explanation on reporting the unfounded charges that ex-editor Jerry Roberts was looking at child porn on his office computer..Nipper said he had to report it because "the NewsPress never suppresses news"....
He admitted that Travis Armstrong is there mainly to stir the pot and get ratings! He was not concerned with the content of Armstrong's columns or editorials! In other words, Travis can say whatever he wants and Wendy will back him up....with her skirts, money and lawyers!
he said he can't resolve the union issue because the union wants to control news content...
which of course is BS....unions can't control news content, that is not why they exist..they are there to stop work place abuses by management. This is why Nipper and Wendy are playing their little game...they just don't get the working class....
See that clock on the wall? In five minutes you are not going to believe what I just told you.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Pretzel Logic....
Now, speaking of shoes..LOOK AT WENDY'S!!...this came up at the last trial I attended against the NewsPress gang of four when crisis manager Agnes Huff (for whom I have a little boner fide) was whispering seductively on the witness stand. While I was looking her over and fantasizing I noticed that Agnes had pointy black shoes that were one size too big.. what a friggin turn on!
Wendy..you're no Agnes..
I'm not sure what this all means but I don't like it..not even a little bit..
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Redheads Drool....
A new political party has been formed called the "Red Haired People's Party (RHPP) and here's what they want: (so says Michael Heaton)
1) The term "red-head" be replaced by "Orange Follicled Americans" or "OFAs"
2) A national apology, memorial and financial compensation for the descendants of those OFAs who were burned at the stake as witches in Salem, Mass., in 1692.
3) All OFAs become available for Affirmative Action consideration and illegal immigration to Ireland.
4) free government sponsored anti-freckle sunscreen program for all OFAs.
ban all "Archie" comics
5) the planet Mars is henceforth called the Cool Red Dot in the Sky.When asked by reporters what plans she had for the party, RHPP chairperson Denise Zagnicky said: Some people are bringing dips and chips. We're doing a mostly cold salad thing. Beer, wine, soda and deviled eggs, but no paprika...
When I spotted Denise in a restaurant recently, I got a little taste of the angry red female..
Me: Hi Denise, I see you're wearing a red sweater today, may I call you "Red"?
Denise: May I take a knife to your throat and make that white shirt and bow tie you are wearing turn red the natural way?
Me: Sorry..hey, what are your three biggest concerns?
Denise: the price of sunscreen,crime and illegal irrigation.
Me: Illegal irrigation? You should visit Montecito sometime..they got the water on all the time everywhere!
Denise: Impressive..
I thanked her for stopping to at least talk to me and went home...later that night I decided to paint all the stop signs in town blue.. just for Denise and her odd friends, the Red Headed Strangers.....
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Tea Fire takes News-Press publisher's house...
"Dear Nipper,I heard that you lost your Mountain Drive home in the fire. I'm so sorry. If there is anything we can do to help you please call me.
Bless you"
I'm sorry to hear it too Nipper...but look on the bright side....just get Wendy to buy you another one, pal!
Friday, November 14, 2008
The God of Hell Fire Rips thru Montecito..
I couldn't believe some of the houses burning down, shown from the KCAL 9 chopper..huge huge huge mansions inexplicably built on unstable hillside terrain..completely unnatural..going up like tinder boxes when hot Santa Ana winds blowing 70 MPH come roaring thru the canyons. There's going to be some close looks at how these got built in such a high fire danger area...Mountain Drive used to be a hang out long ago and has always been a pristine place with a just a few houses and lots of nature..a perfect balance until recently..people have moved here from god knows where and there ensued a building frenzy..mother nature took care of that last night..WOW!
Paula Lopez and the folks at KEYT did a great job all night providing info and video in tough circumstances..
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Crazy Aunt in the Basement..
Well, thankfully we will move on from the past 8 year debacle and put the Dianas of the world back in the basement..we'll let them out every now and then so they can try to absorb some light, but a fixated personality needs one thousand stars shining to break through the darkness..obviously Diana and her fellow rightwing blatherers are frozen, or fixed at an anxiety ridden stage from some childhood trauma.. like conservative parenting!
Uncle Ernie of Sandwich...
Well, I missed Ernie Soloman's interview with Nipper. Craig Smith covers it..
http://craigsmithsblog.blogspot.com/
until next time, evil doers!
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Mick makes a porno!
which, of course, will help it sell
religious fanatics completely misread film and, well, what do you expect...
Thank God that Utah, a state that won’t forfeit its values and morals, stands up to films such as these, and won’t let them play in theaters there. I am a high school teacher, and believe me, Dr. Laura, our kids are craving to be taught values and morals...
By BROCK VERGAKIS, AP
SALT LAKE CITY (AP) - Utah's growing tourism industry and the star-studded Sundance Film Festival are being targeted for a boycott by bloggers, gay rights activists and others seeking to punish the Mormon church for its aggressive promotion of California's ban on gay marriage.It could be a heavy price to pay. Tourism brings in $6 billion a year to Utah, with world-class skiing, the spectacular red rock country and the film festival founded by Robert Redford among the state's popular tourist draws.
"At a fundamental level, the Utah Mormons crossed the line on this one," said gay rights activist John Aravosis, an influential Washington, D.C-based blogger. "They just took marriage away from 20,000 couples and made their children bastards. You don't do that and get away with it."Salt Lake City is the world headquarters for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which counts about 62 percent of Utah residents as members.The church encouraged its members to work to pass California's Proposition 8 by volunteering their time and money for the campaign. Thousands of Mormons worked as grassroots volunteers and gave tens of millions of dollars to the campaign.
what would Roger Durling say?
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Excuse Me...The decline of manners.
Always leave a comment on these sites.
Always be honest and encouraging in your comments.
Do not use gimmicks to attract readers. This will diminish the worth of what you are saying.
If you give a blog more than a casual glance, leave a comment.
If you see a blog that could have potential and you have an idea as to how to make it better, leave constructive comments.
If you find a blog that deeply interests you, link to it.
Announce in a comment in that blog that you have done so and invite the author to visit your blog.
It is okay to ask for reciprocity but do not make your link contingent upon this.
Encourage new bloggers, especially the ones that represent interesting content.
Offer to swap links. (This differs from #6. I believe that with a new blogger, offering to help with a link to their site should be reciprocated.)
When leaving a comment on a blog for the first time, let the author know how you found his/her blog, especially if you found it through a link on another blog.
If you want to increase readership, you have to read other blogs and leave comments. "Do onto others as you would have them do onto you."
If you reprint another’s work, be sure that you give credit to the author and link to the author’s site. Most authors, including me, do not mind if you reprint their work as long as correct credit is given and a link-back is established.
Be careful of copyright infringements.
Plagiarism is bad.......very bad.
Language and appropriateness is difficult to discuss. What is appropriate to one can be inappropriate to another. The same goes for language.
You do have the ability ("Flag Blog") to notify a Blogger of objectionable content.
However, just like with television, you have the power to not visit objectionable blogs.
Always RSVP to a party in a timely fashion, even if you won’t be attending.Holding off on a response makes the host feel like you’re waiting for a better offer to come along.
Dining
After sitting down at the table and waiting for everyone else to sit down, unfold your napkin and place it in your lap.If you briefly leave the table, place it on the chair, and when you’re done, place it on the left side of the plate.
Phone
In most places other than your home, it’s rude to talk on your cell phone when the call is not significantly important, such as chatting about the weather or personal information.If you must talk on your cell phone, use a quiet voice.Don’t forget to turn your cell phone off in performance venues and in hospitals.And please don’t drive and talk.
Thank-you!
Monday, November 10, 2008
Wrestlemania...
Why don't you marry Wendy? because she won't marry you....that's why.. She thinks at night: why am I with this guy..I know he wants my money, but who else would have me..who would be stupid enough to have me? Yet he stays knowing I'll never marrry him..like Dolly Parton says "I never will marry, I'll be no man's wife, I expect to live single, for the rest of my life"..cause I got too much money...that the problem..WENDY'S GOT TOO MUCH MONEY! She's damaged goods...
Hey, Nipper, have ya ever had a threeway with Wendy and Dr. Laura? give the old broads a lube job? Maybe a nice little room, top floor, Montecito Inn? Whoa..if you don't I will... wanna buy this blog?? 100 large...
alright, I'll be waiting..and I'm angry, dude..
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Sunday Bible Study...
Prostitution....Legalize prostitution! Yeah!
"If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found, Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver.... (Deuteronomy 22:28,29)
"Thus saith the Lord, Behold, I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house, and I will take thy wives before thine eyes, and give them unto thy neighbor, and he shall lie with thy wives in the sight of the sun. For thou didst it secretly, but I will do this thing before all Israel, and before the sun." (II Samuel 12:11,12)
"And Ahithophel said to Absalom, Go in unto thy father's concubines, which he hath left to keep the house, and all Israel shall hear that thou art abhorred of thy father.....so they spread Absalom a tent upon the top of the house; and Absalom went in unto his father's concubines in the sight of all Israel." (II Samuel 16:21,22)
Adultery ...Adultery is cool!
"Thou shalt betroth a wife, and another man shall lie with her." (Description of a punishment to be laid on anyone who fails to observe all of the commandments, Deuteronomy 28:30)
Like slicing salami...
Found in: Exodus 4:24-26
Continuing the Bible’s fascination with all things foreskin, we get the bizarre story of God trying to kill Moses because his son isn’t circumcised. God is about to obliterate Moses when his wife Zipporah takes out a flint and quickly cuts the foreskin of his son (ouch), throwing the bloody skin fragment at Moses’ feet. "You are a bloody husband to me!" squeals Zipporah, flint in one hand, child in other. God, clearly freaked out by this woman, backs off and Moses is saved.
The moral of this story? Never turn down a woman for being a psycho. Someday she may save your life.
Found in: 1 Kings 18:25-27
Before Byron, before Casanova, there was David. Young and in love, David desperately wants to marry Saul’s daughter Michal and offers Saul anything he wants to let him marry her. What could Saul possibly want? Money? A vow of love? No. Saul wants foreskins. 100 to be exact. Why? Who cares. If you want my daughter, you’re going to have to find 100 foreskins by tomorrow. David finds this odd, but then again this girl is hot, so he goes out and kills 200 men, and collects their foreskins. It’s only then he remembers that he only needs 100 foreskins. Oops. Oh well, maybe if he hands over twice as many foreskins, Saul will be doubly as impressed. Indeed he is and duly hands over his daughter to David.
The moral of this story? Never be ashamed to do crazy things for love.
Balaam and his talking donkey....
Found in: Numbers 22:28-30
Balaam is just minding his own business, spanking his ass (donkey) when suddenly he hears a voice. It’s his donkey who is asking him why he is spanking him. Balaam doesn’t seem the least bit miffed that his donkey has starting talking in the same language as him and says, "Because thou hast mocked me." The donkey then gets philosophical and explains the nature of their relationship and how his feelings have been hurt. Eventually they make peace. Oh yeah did I mention it was TALKING DONKEY?
The moral of this story? Don’t beat animals. If they could talk then they would probably tell you how upset they were.
Found in: Genesis 38:8-10
A story so eponymous, it gave way to its own neologism – onanism, an archaic term for masturbation. Basically, God kills Er. Why? We don’t really find out. However, in a stroke of good luck, Er’s father, Judah, has given you the right, nay the duty, to have sex with your dead brother’s wife. Onan is a bit apprehensive at first, but agrees to go through with this bizarre scheme to create a ‘true heir’ to Er. He begins to have sex with the girl, but at the last minute decides to pull out and spill "his seed upon the ground." God is so irked he decides to kill Onan too, and thus nobody gets an heir. This story is the basis for the Christian condemnation of masturbation and birth control.
The moral of this story? In the words of Monty Python, "Every sperm is sacred…"
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Anybody want a hot cup of wang?
1) A very common Chinese surname(meaning KING in chinese) 2) An ancient brand of computer systems 3) Penis, dong, schlong, dork, johnson, cock, prick, dick 4) The jaw, jawbone, or cheek bone. 5) A slap; a blow. 6) A unit of measuring internet coolness
used in a sentence: Mr. Wang just pulled out his wang(penis) and wanged(slap) you in the wang(the jaw).
Who is Laura Holt
Her latest article sums up why conservatives are in such dire straits...wangheads!
I think Laura can't quite accept the new president and launches into all the reasons she thinks leftie liberals are to blame for eight years of Bush. Well, it's no secret that Bush was done in by his own party! You, Laura are to blame for the present state of affairs...hysteria over illegal aliens and Islamic radicals drove the Bush administration into a ditch..OHH you cried..Mr Bush, protect me from the bogeyman..so poor George scrapped a perfectly good Immigration Bill because a bunch of Christian radical racists cried "amnesty" and started chasing devils in Iraq, all of which help put us in the present financial and political situation....wangheads!
here's some of Laura's complaints:
and mine
Laura:Unlike the majority of Labile-Liberal-Lefties who were flat-out rude during this process, I will try to be gracious. After all, Sen. John McCain was gracious in his concession speech Tuesday night. I’ll repeat what I’ve said to a few rational friends. There are those of us who will embrace President-elect Barack Obama when and if he does something to earn it. We give him his campaign victory, of course. But now is a good time to point out that Obama won 52 percent of the vote (63 million) to McCain’s 46 percent (55.8 million.) That means half our country’s citizens did not vote for him. Half our country’s citizens remain rightfully skeptical.
thanks for the math lesson, but in America, the guy who gets the most votes, wins!
Laura:Yes, Obama gives Good Speech. And there is absolutely something momentous about seeing a biracial man — absent Washington connections — become the next president. Of course, it’s those "other" connections that give us rightful pause.
You mean Rev Wright? What's the problem..the Rev has every right to say what he said..as do you.. basic First Amendment free speech rights! America's foreign policy which targets/hurts poor people is a stated reason why 9/11 happened..truth is ugly sometimes..there is no reason not to trade with Cuba...
Laura: The viciousness of the Labile-Liberal-Left — whose personal attacks choked constructive dialogue even among so-called friends — was a rude awakening for me.
Honesty is a rude awakening?? You need to get your hands dirty more often...it's good for you!
Laura: I’m sorry to find many of my "liberal" friends are psychological bullies who seek to silence genuine questions using insults and attacks. Such tactics are no doubt effective with some people — by intimidating them into silence you can convince yourself that they agree. But when a guy in Ohio asks a question and he gets slimed through the media, Americans don’t get a good feeling. When media bias runs so rampant that even newsmakers own up to it, Americans have lost their free press. (Journalism R.I.P. 2008.)
BOO HOO!
Laura: Interestingly, some of the most vituperative remarks I endured came from friends in the media, arts and higher education. The very people who shape young minds — who disseminate, who influence — turned out to be the most xenophobic about discussing issues. They called me rude when I questioned "facts;" delusional when I disagreed.
how about just plain nutty...."higher education"..you mean like a senior fellow at the Hoover Inst?
Laura: In his acceptance speech Obama acknowledged those of us whose vote he didn’t get. He claimed to want to earn our trust. Fine. We aren’t going to agree to socialism because we work hard for our money. Share the wealth of the shadow banking bandits — not ours — We-The-People. We want our borders secured and our country protected against radical Islam.
I want to be protected from radical Christianity...
Laura: Now, if anyone out there would like to discuss those issues, as opposed to attacking some aspect of our personhood, we welcome the discussion. We agree there’s a lot that can be improved. We share a lot of common ground. We know America is an Idea. And we’re tired of seeing her bashed.
It's not America being bashed.. it's the American leaders and people who abuse her...and they will continue to be bashed..mercilessly....the personhoods!
Friday, November 7, 2008
on TCM tonight!
The McCaine Mutiny...
I don't care who the president is...I will be taxed until I croak..and in the afterlife, by the Vietnamese!
Well, I never thought I'd meet someone dumber than me and Dr. Laura combined until Sarah Palin stuck her boobs in my face.. apparently, Sarah is a diva who thinks Africa is a country and can't name the members of NAFTA..I mean..Paris Hilton would have been a better choice for VP! Wendy McCaw would have been a better choice! The conservatives think Sarah is the fututre of the Republican party...obviously, they have run out of ideas. The GOP is a shell of its former self inhabited by nitwits who are overly concerned with what you do in the bedroom (what do you do, anyway??) That is their platform, that is their focus..obviously they have sexual issues and if I say dirty words related to sex, they freak out. But I submit, the holy conservatives are the most sexually deviant folks out there (using me as the basis for normality)..that will be a topic for another time..until then..
I wanna L^&k your Pu#%Y, Sarah.....
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Hot Christian Babes....
EPPC Fellow Colleen Carroll Campbell interviews Sen. Rick Santorum about the political challenges and opportunities he sees for defending life and marriage in the coming years. The show airs on EWTN television Sunday, November 2 at 10:30am and Wednesday, November 5 at 11:00pm. It airs on EWTN radio and Sirius Satellite Radio Saturdays at 6pm E.T., Sundays at 7am E.T., and Tuesdays at 1am E.T.
you see them everywhere..the stylish glasses, the highlighted hair, the make-up, the pouty lips, the figure..sleek and sexy...the squeaky voices....
they sing, they dance, they write books, they are movie stars, they got a husband and family,they are cute, perky, bitchy and they are all the things a man could want.. real girlie girls...Starshine rose above Wendy like a mountain over a fog bank, she rose above Nipper and Travis like Evel Knievel moto- jumping over 15 buses and she turned the NewsPress fiasco into a real career...now she's got a book coming out like a real author.....
Sarah is the governor of Alaska...she smiles a lot but started crying when the American public smacked her down, she answers the door dressed in only a towel and loves Jesus....oh baby!
These women are one..sympatico..no doubt..they all look alike...there is something behind the glasses, the Mona Lisa Smile, the wickedness in the eyes..look close and you will see..at first it is seducing and mighty tempting.. and who among us could resist them?
will the real Slim Shady... please stand up
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
GEEEEEE SPOT.....
Now, what about my sisters at the NewsPress..did their endorsements help? Well, endorsements are like assholes, everybody has one..but let's see:
Measure GEEE passed after all the NewsPress huffing and puffing and threats of investigating the city for criminal activity...Wendy, you better limit your roaming minutes!
President...NewsPress used the old politics of fear that the ultracons always use when they run out of ideas.. they claim McCain will keep us safe from terrorists...in truth, a non-racist foreign policy will keep us safe, not a war maniac and a witchdoctor..
Taxin' Jackson...she's gonna start redistributing the wealth and I can't wait!
The NewsPress compass was right on redistricting and farm animal rights, two propositions that will have no impact on anything...
Gay marriage...SB county proved not to be bigots, but the state wide results are close....
All in all...a great day for Americans and a bad day for witchdoctors!
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
It's a new day.....
Santa Barbara’s Blog officially endorses Lois Capps for Congress... so fuckin' what! Pardon my french, Lois and with all due respect, I'd like to french kiss your daughter!
Passage of Measure G would mean an unlimited expansion in the City’s right to tax current and future innovations. Vote NO on Measure G. BS..Vote Yes on Measure G and contol the cell phone chatter and Wendy's profits...
Santa Barbara’s Blog officially endorses John MacKinnon for Judge. Another buyable judge for Wendy?
Help stop animal cruelty… vote Yes on Proposition 2. All propositions deserve a NO vote..I know you know that..these folks are pro-lifers for chickens!
Measure A would be the largest tax increase in the history of Santa Barbara County. Help save the environment, control growth, and vote yourself an everyday tax refund… No on Measure A. I agree, with the two birdbains..
For Blog readers in Solvang, give Jim Richardson your vote for Mayor. Solvang belongs to the Chumash now....
Please help elect Jacqueline Inda to the Santa Barbara School Board. NO NO NO...Kate Smith is a jewel! Inda looks like a gangsta gal...
$5 million was lost by the SB School Districts in 2007, and there are already three K-12 bond measures on local property tax bills… Vote NO on Measures H and I. OK, I agree with the Phantom Blogger....
For Blog readers in Carpinteria, please re-elect Joe Armendariz to the City Council. Ah, Bird, can you tell me why? Is it the gambling? the drinking? the Jesusfreakiness? the pals with Travis? Reddington and McWhirter are gonna win!
Libertarian News Press Endorses McCain and Palin...
nothing wrong with that, but...Bob Barr is the Libertarian candidate..less government, less war, less snooping into bedrooms, low taxes. Instead they endorse a war maniac and a fundamentalist religious zeolot?!?!
and there's only one reason they did it..to pander to their ultra-conservative advertisers... any claim otherwise is total bull...the NewsPress says it went after Bush over the invasion of Iraq and environmental issues, but the truth is they paid little attention while Bush's conservatives put us into this clear and present danger. The NewsPress was more worried about Helene Schneider's bathroom remodel project than the war..and because their columnist Dr. Laura was a Bush cheerleader and warbanger, they pandered to her skinny little chickenhawk ass, too...
now that's an independent press...