Friday, December 3, 2010

Casablanca....

as thyne goes by..
In World War III Santa Barbara, Dale Francisco, exiled American and former freedom fighter, cello player, single and in his 50's (draw your own conclusions) runs (in his mind anyway) the most popular nightspot in town, City Hall, or Casablanca as the News-Press affectionately calls it...
The cynical lone wolf Dale comes into the possession of two valuable eyebrows. When Nazi Major Das arrives in Casablanca then annouces he's leaving, the sycophantic police Captain Frank Hotchkiss does what he can to please him, including detaining Santa Barbara underground leaders David Pritchett and John Thyne. Much to Dale's surprise, Pritchett arrives with Mike Self, Dale's one time love. Dale is very bitter towards Mike, who stole his eyebrows in Paris, but when he learns she had good reason to, they plan to run off together again using the trains of mass transit. Well, that was their original plan...they finally ended up stuck on the city council with a bunch of others like milktoaster Bendy White and still more who want to crash the party!
Still, Francisco steadfastly clings to his hope of one day finding his eyebrows...
Pritchett:
What in heaven's name brought you to Casablanca?
Dale: My health. I came to Casablanca for the waters..
Pritchett: The waters? What waters? We're in the desert... or semi-desert anyway..dumbass!
Dale: I was misinformed.
then Mike Self walks in the room:
Mike:But what about us?
Dale: We'll always have Paris. We didn't have, we, we lost it until you came to Casablanca. We got it back last night.... but I'm still out two eyebrows bitch!!
Mike: When I said I would never leave you, I was thinking about rotten bananas..
Dale: whatevah... But I've got a job to do, too. Where I'm going, you can't follow. What I've got to do, you can't be any part of. Mike, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of 45 little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy town. Someday you'll understand that. Now, go...and here's looking at you kid...

3 comments:

Garbage collector said...

There's a funny split-personality story in today's News-Press. On the front page it reads like a story about the applicants for city council. On the inside page where it continues, it becomes an editorial ranting against David Pritchett. It's written by Scott Steepleton.

Anonymous said...

Brian Barnwell's next. Look for a Steepleton byline again.

Sichael Melf said...

Oh crap. He's got no eyebrows! I noticed his odd alki and ruddy complexion with the pinked mole like look...But he's got no eyebrows!