Thursday, December 9, 2010

Shangri-La

An imaginary remote paradise on earth; utopia. A distant and secluded hideaway, usually of great beauty and peacefulness.
did you ever watch the Housewives of Beverly Hills? there's one housewife who's married to actor Kelsey Grammar...this guy is the cokehead who started a conservative TV channel called rightAmerica or something..he's engaged to another woman and still married to the housewife...the wives are aliens with faces of plastic and lips like the catfish I ate last night...ok..so now I hear that another Hollywood type, alien-lover George Lucas, has bought a home in Carp on the beach..it's either on Padaro or Sandyland behind Santa Claus Lane....George paid 20 million for it..so I got some celebs in the neighboringhood and I'm not too happy with it..one or two, no problem..but they are multiplying like cockroaches now...and these aren't actors by any means, these are goopy untalented hacks...I watched one Star Wars and it was ok, but frankly, I'd rather watch a Twilight Zone marathon...so we got some celebs nearby: Kevin Costner..no prob..puts out some good films; Rob Lowe..putz; Arnold..putz..Arnold is finishing up his mountain mansion on the ranch, but he's still a putz...gone are the real iconic actors like Paul Newman, Steve McQueen, Patricia Neal, and Bogie...I gotta settle for Arnold and Rob and Reagan..what a bummer..who's next, Justin Barbeir?? I'll strangle that little squirt!!!!
also, since Padaro Lane has become infested with showfolks, they have put these little signs on the sides of the road warning that the area is under surrveillance..if these signs are on public land, I will remove them as they are not traffic safety signs...Salud..you hear me? tear down those signs!!
Actors and stages now fall before the truth as I have worked hard to keep Carpinteria tuned to a certain vibe.... and I will not stand for any nonsense just because you hoodwinked a bunch of people into buying tickets to see your stupid movies thereby making you rich beyond what you deserve...when you're walking down Linden Ave, you think I'm gonna fawn all over you? think again; I'm riding my bike in the foothills and you speed pass me in your Mercedes... you think I'm impressed? think again..
go on, have your pool parties, your upscale cocaine bashes, catered affairs....but if you think for one minute because you paid 20 million dollars for a house you think you're something special, well...think again...I'll be watching you...

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