Black Friday

When black Friday comes, I'll stand down by the door And catch the gray men when they dive from the fourteenth floor

OMG!! anti gay Christian lawyer was busted for child porn....yeah, that sounds about right..

well I guess since UCSB doesn't call COLAB's God -fearing Christian News-Press editorial writer Andy Caldwell anymore to lecture to the students about life in the conservative reaches of Santa Maria, the Wendy has allowed Andy to give us these little itty bitty mini-lectures about life via the editorial page!

so Thursday I learned the true, true meaning of Thanksgiving.. shopping and gambling at the Chumash Casino! and of course I got a little history lesson from Caldwell about Joseph from the bible and a dude named Squanto, the helpful Indian who was sent to the pilgrims by God to teach them how to hunt and fish and care for their crops..and of course create Thanksgiving!

uh, excuse me..I'm raising my hand here...what Andy left out is that Squanto was Tonto's grandpappy!! and I'm the Lone Ranger..

but in reality Squanto speaky with forked tongue...

 

Likewise the myth of Squanto, the friendly Indian guide and interpreter who helped the Pilgrims through their first New England winter. Samuel M. Wilson, in an article in Natural History, credits archaeologist and ethnohistorian Lynn Ceci with debunking the Squanto myth. Not only didn't he teach the Pilgrims to fertilize their corn with fish (Ceci found this practice to be of European origin), but he was far more worldly than his 'noble savage' image implies.

Squanto had, in fact, been kidnapped from Cape Cod and sold into slavery in Spain in 1614, Ceci claims. He lived in England with the treasurer of the Newfoundland Company, worked for the merchant who later financed the Mayflower, accompanied Capt. John Mason to Newfoundland and eventually returned to New England, where he found his entire tribe obliterated by slavery and European diseases.

His village was now occupied by the Pilgrims, and in his savvy he found it advantageous to befriend them and represent them (or mis-represent them) to other tribes. Squanto did in fact invite the Wampanoag tribe to the first Plymouth thanksgiving - but then he also told them that the white settlers kept the plague in the ground and could release it at will.....

ok kemo sabe, so Squanto gave us Thanksgiving, but who gave us Black Friday.... Hopalong Cassidy??