Saturday, February 1, 2014

Honky Cat

tryin' to drink whiskey, from a bottle of wine

The Bible tells us that Jesus turned water into wine (John 2:1-11)

when a winemaker writes a letter to the News-Press telling me it takes less than a gallon of water to make a bottle of wine, or that wine is the most important fermented beverage in history, or that wine helped the Athenian democracy or that after a hard days work, wine makes you feel good...or when he says people who criticize the grape growers during the drought have an anti-winery agenda...


 
 
or when he says wine can make you live longer by five or six years...well, I cringe at such lies!

look...let's just lay our cards on the table.....


say you drink a bottle of wine and drive on up to Santa Ynez to see Kelly LeBrock and some drunk from the casino hits and kills you...drinking wine therefore can actually decrease your life span

I just gotta say to this winemaker dude: you better get back Honky Cat, better get back to the woods... it actually takes 120 litres of water to make a glass of wine

and then this stuff about the Athenians well I don't know too much about them 'cept what I learned in Latin history class...

but it seems the Spartans conquered the Athenians and took some of them as slaves and made them drink wine and get drunk in public to make fools outta them... this was done to show that the Spartans were a superior people due to self-discipline and respect for their bodies..ie they didn't need alcohol to make them feel good, they just needed a few Greek chicks to make them happy...I've never had a Greek chick but this year, the Greek Festival may change all that...

speaking of Greeks, I like olive oil...we need olives more than we need wine...wine is a non-essential commodity...just go to the grocery store or Bevmo and look at all the bottles...it takes tons of water to make bottles and to make wine! why do we need a million bottles of wine in the store???

alcohol, that's why..

now to all the wineries up north..stop wasting water and stop trying to bullshit me or I'll unleash a non-native fruitfly on your grapes that'll make your little God-fearing heads spin..

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