I'm So Glad....

but is Montecito? Santa Barbara? Goleta? Summerland? Hope Ranch?

rumor has it rich Wendy has been cruising Carp in a fancy car, looking for me..she's thinks I'm the cure for her messed up head, but I'm not..I've had lots of success with Mc-women (last names begin with Mc---), but it never ends well..so Wendy..stay away, baby....for these reasons:
Carpinteria is a Glad Town..a place where people follow Pollyanna's philosophy of life: it centers on what she calls "The Glad Game", an optimistic attitude she learned from her father. The game consists of finding something to be glad about in every situation, even when thinking about the NewsPress. It originated in an incident one Christmas when Pollyanna, who was hoping for a doll in the missionary barrel, found only a pair of crutches inside. Making the game up on the spot, Pollyanna's father taught her to look at the good side of things—in this case, to be glad about the crutches because "we don't need 'em!".
With this philosophy, and her own sunny personality and sincere, sympathetic soul, Pollyanna brings so much gladness to her anal aunt's dispirited New England town that she transforms it into a pleasant place to live. 'The Glad Game' shields her from her aunt's stern attitude: when Aunt Polly puts her in a stuffy attic room without carpets or pictures, she exults at the beautiful view from the high window; when she tries to "punish" her niece for being late to dinner by sentencing her to a meal of bread and milk in the kitchen with the servant, Nancy, Pollyanna thanks her rapturously because she likes bread and milk, and she likes Nancy.
Soon, Pollyanna teaches some of Beldingsville's most troubled inhabitants to 'play the game' as well, from a querulous invalid named Mrs. Snow to a miserly bachelor, Mr. Pendleton, who lives all alone in a cluttered mansion. Aunt Polly, too— finding herself helpless before Pollyanna's buoyant refusal to be downcast—gradually begins to thaw, although she resists the glad game longer than anyone else.
Eventually, however, even Pollyanna's robust optimism is put to the test when she gets hit by a car (in the Disney movie, she falls from a tree) and loses the use of her legs. At first she doesn't realize the seriousness of her situation, but her spirits plummet when she accidentally overhears an eminent specialist say that she'll never walk again. After that, she lies in bed, unable to find anything to be glad about. Then the townspeople begin calling at Aunt Polly's house, eager to let Pollyanna know how much her encouragement has improved their lives; and Pollyanna decides she can still be glad that she had legs. The novel ends with Aunt Polly marrying her former lover Dr. Chilton and Pollyanna being sent to a hospital where she learns to walk again and is able to appreciate the use of her legs far more as a result of being temporarily disabled.

Well, I got a Pollyanna Complex, too....and have worked hard to keep Carpinteria a Glad Town...Pollyanna's Aunt Polly was just like you, Wendy...a bitch! She owned a local paper and loads of real estate and the townfolk were afraid of her..just like the businesses in SB who are afraid to pull advertising...they don't want to upset Auntie Travis or Aunt Wendy..look what you've done to Santa Barbara, a town once full of Pollyannas is now full of Stepford wives ...neighbors beating each other with baseball bats, sniping at one another from 40 soon to be 60 ft high buildings, and running over each other with rolls of cash..you wanna be Lord of the Flies, Wendy? Be my guest...but don't get any bright ideas like becoming my neighbor in Glad Town....I'll simply invite you to leave.....