the boxer

I am just a poor boy 'tho my story's seldom told, I have squandered my resistance for a pocketful of mumbles such are promises...

writers..geez..they think they're sooo witty!

so I get a couple of emails...one from Sen Barbara Boxer saying she's creating jobs... Babs, I don't need a frickin job, I'm a writer now!!

the other from this chick named Polly Frost... says she's a writer and she's funny and tells me to promote her show called "How to Survive Your Adult Relationship with Your Family" or there will be repercussions.....
and she writes erotic horror stories like "Dark Delicacies"...I saw a story on the news about women who torture men so I went running to Wendy and asked if I could do a five part series on Polly because I'm scared....the chick sounds cold...but Wendy said "NO" ....

Polly is from New York like Simon and Garfunkel but grew up in Santa Barbara....I got New York chicks picking on me now!!

I check out her website and she looks kinda like Daryll Hannah before Ms Hannah injected her face with enough plastic to choke a whale...

Polly's got books and she's got a funny husband which by the way most of my affairs the gals had funny husbands! just kidding Polly..I don't expect anything in return from this plug...

Thursday Aug 18th 7 PM Oreana Winery $10

http://www.pollyfrost.com/

now the funny thing is she says she reads my blog which is anti-alcohol and yet she's having her little show at the Oreana Winery!!

"Polly Frost captures in fabulous details, the absurdity of life. Laughing out loud often follows. Whether it's inventing an I-Dog (cross between a phone and a dog) or seminars to help repressed bloggers release their inner critic, it's all here. Her work mixes highly observational smarts with a little bit of sass. It comes back and bites you in the ass when you're not looking." --Laura Banks, author of Embracing Your Big Fat Ass

I -DOG..a cross between an Ipod and a dog??

this bitch has got some nerve..go see her!!

two lane blacktop

my pappy said "son you're gonna drive me to drinkin' if you don't stop driving that hot rod Lincoln"...

well, I went into your town yesterday, to Trader Joe's and I was stone cold sober..if the cops stopped me and arrested me for drunk driving then I will investigate them...

but on the way back I ran three stop signs and almost hit a Mexican dude in a crosswalk in Montecito...and no cops stopped me so I guess it might be true that the Santa Barbara police are biased against drunk drivers...

so the Peter Lance series spawned some more series from the News-Press..now Lanny Ebenstein's got a two parter about public pensions and his solution..an economic lecture from a slumlord who is losing his properties to foreclosure in Eureka...what next, a three- parter from a child molester on how to babysit?? ....and still no letters to the NP editor about the series...I guess to Wendy, freedom of speech is a one way street! geez these folks are wackos

speaking of wackos, some folks (a weird convergence of Mesa architects) are trying to make me slow down on Cliff Drive.... they say they want to protect their kids but we know damn well it's their dogs they are concerned about...the council and even Mike Self caved to the pressure and now we all have to go slow on a state highway so we don't upset some designer dogs!!

When I go to La Cumbre Plaza to shop, I like to come back thru Hope Ranch, visit Wendy and Snoop, and then hit the gas right around Hendry's..on up that hill to the Mesa...that's a cool hill and I got a V8 so I love passing those little toy cars the hippies and yuppies drive...VAROOOOOM!! dust them bad!!

With a four-barrel carb and a dual exhaust, with 4-11 gears you can really get lost. Got safety tubes but I ain't scared, the brakes are good, tires fair.

you think a little two lane blacktop is gonna slow me down???

It's got a Lincoln motor and it's really souped up ..That Model A body makes it look like a pup... It's got eight cylinders, uses them all... It's got overdrive, just won't stall

here comes the sun...

Dear Wendy and Nipper....

I hate you..and your donkey...

the both of you..you are the lowest form of pond scum... the lowest form of life that slithers without arms and legs, but rather with flagella flailing to bring in any form of sustenance to keep it alive....a life form so devoid of shape and beauty that even under the microscope of prying city eyes, no redeeming value can be found..

Ah, little lad, you're starin' at my fingers. Would you like me to tell you the little story of Right Hand-Left Hand - the story of good and evil? H-A-T-E! It was with this left hand that old brother Cain struck the blow that laid his brother low. L-O-V-E. You see these fingers, dear hearts? These fingers has veins that run straight to the soul of man. The right hand, friends! The hand of love! Now watch and I'll show you the story of life. These fingers, dear hearts, is always a-warrin' and a-tuggin', one agin the other. Now, watch 'em. Ol' brother Left Hand. Left hand, he's a-fightin'. And it looks like LOVE's a goner. But wait a minute, wait a minute! Hot dog! LOVE's a winnin'? Yes, siree. It's LOVE that won, and ol' Left Hand HATE is down for the count!~

your brains are like bulking long filaments in a cool clear watery stream...the water is good, but the filaments are not (you microbiologists will appreciate that)....there's only one way to control you..with sunlight..sunlight as Wendy says is the disinfectant that keeps government in check..a mixed up metaphor and I always thought sunlight was a good source of vitamin D...what a dummy I yam!!

actually, chlorine will kill most any organism that's giving you trouble..but it's very powerful, like alcohol, so use wisely....

speaking of alcohol, do you think Kathy Ireland and her Christian Mafia would approve of the both of you coddling drunk drivers? huh? would it?

Well now, what's it to be Lord? Another widow? How many has it been? Six? Twelve? I disremember. You say the word, Lord, I'm on my way...You always send me money to go forth and preach your Word. The widow with a little wad of bills hid away in a sugar bowl. Lord, I am tired. Sometimes I wonder if you really understand. Not that You mind the killin's. Yore Book is full of killin's. But there are things you do hate Lord: perfume-smellin' things, lacy things, things with curly hair.~

and drunks... what can we do about 'em?? ~ There are too many of them. Can't kill the world.~ no we can't... I guess we're stuck with 'em...

city junkies

Peter Lance's self- investigative DUI series ends with a thud...

Dear City of Santa Barbara...how dare you arrest the well-heeled drunk driving members of upper crust Santa Barbara! you need to concentrate on the homeless and leave our drunken royalty alone!!

so Peter Lance wraps up his investigation of DUI officer Kasi Beutel with a defense of realtor/lawyer and now poor little victim John Thyne, who everyone knows tried to run for city council, but kept drinking and driving and getting caught! I mean, this is beyond silly now..I've already pointed out that Peter's story has NO CREDIBILITY as he uses other drunks to support his assertion that drunk drivers who are wealthy should not be pulled over...and used a "handwriting expert" who was expelled from his professional association for ethics violations!!

the pictures you see are of a drunk who crashed his truck a few years ago into a residential area where kids play...look at this guy... I missed the actual crash but I watched him wobble and weave when the cops got him out of the truck.... shall we feel sorry for him and coddle him....maybe Wendy will do a story on the poor fellow!

the new Travis!

and to support the series, Wendy and Nipper tried to justify it in an opinion piece editorial calling the cops guilty of arresting wealthy drunk drivers... and they say the articles were not biased but acted like a "disinfectant" to expose DUI officers who do their jobs....which includes arresting some of Wendy's friends...Wendy, put the bottle of Jack Daniels down and clear your mind, dude!! that's why I pay taxes to keep the cops busy arresting your drunk firiends!!!

however according to Lance and the News-Press, some folks should be given special consideration because of their rank in society?? total bullshit and delusional and typical of an alcoholic enabler..

so... Wendy "Miss Sunshine" is all of a sudden interested in police corruption because her buddy Peter Lance got busted driving drunk?? and why isn't Peter's mugshot on the front page?? I think Peter is the new Travis!! he writes, he drives drunk, he's probably gay and who knows maybe he's an Indian, too!

John Thyne is enlisted to discredit officer Beutel...Thyne complained to Lance that Beutel arrested him and said he wasn't really drunk, his eyes weren't really bloodshot and that Officer Beutel could not have smelled alcohol on him.. but here's a quote from Thyne in Noozhawk during the campaign: “It’s been a long and winding road that led to here,” Thyne said of his decision to run. It was a road that detoured into a 2007 DUI conviction after he was stopped while driving home from a fundraising “bachelor auction.” He pleaded guilty, paid the fine and performed the community service.
“It was an incredible mistake,” he said. “I wish I could go back and and change it, and I’m glad I didn’t hurt anyone.”

and now Lance is interviewing him... blaming the cops for his woes?? Thyne had drunk driving convictions, violated his probation and got caught..... his campaign manager, James Kyriaco, was busted for drunk driving..and who outed Kyriaco's drunk driving history? Travis Armstrong in the News-Press!! oh the humanity.....oh the irony!!

geez, all you gotta do is google the word "drunk" and all these guys names come up!!!

at what point do people realize that this series by the News-Press and Peter Lance is a farce..these guys are boozehounds...at what point do people see through this nonsense..how about RIGHT NOW!!

I won't discount the entertainment factor the News-Press provides...especially to me..but they will be held accountable when they lie about public servants to protect their employees who break the law...... nice try trying to get more subscribers with this latest hootenany...

I look forward to the next overblown series from Lance and Wendy and all the courthouse trials paid for by you and me..at least we're getting our money's worth! and Peter..get a life and a designated driver next time..

the one that got away

the verdict is in on News-Press reporter Peter Lance's fishing expedition...

"Peter does a slick job of intermixing facts and conjecture to create the impression that he has a special truth," says Larry Johnson..a dude who doesn't think Lance is much of a writer..

in the Court of Public Opinion and the counselor chambers of the the Honorable Alfred E Neuman and Honorable Mick Von Caw, we find the defendant, Peter A Lance guilty of alleged DUI, of trying to manipulate public opinion by slipping a mickey in our collective drinks thru the pages of the News-Press, a swizzle stick of a newspaper...

the News-Press is not a credible publication..it's not an incredible publication..in fact it's piece of shit...and unless you got your head up your ass, you can understand that..

now Peter Lance's investigation of his own DUI and subsequent smearing of the cop who arrested him was a lame attempt to prove what a fine investigative journalist he still is....but there was so much nonsense in his five part series that I, as judge, will instruct Peter to give back at least one of his five Emmy awards....
with all the fuss over not enough cops on the street..cries from conservatives KEEP OUR CITY SAFE... cries from the News-Press KEEP OUR CITY SAFE...how can they sit there and ask for more cops and then tell them they shouldn't do their jobs?? like arrest drunk drivers...bunch of hypocrites....

take a deep breath...

Lance and his lawyer Darryl Genis like to say that thousands of DUI cases may be thrown out due to faulty breathalyzers...the reality is a certain unit called the ALCO SENSOR V was allegedly defective..and many of the arrested individuals pleaded no contest or guilty...now they want to go back and say they are innocent because some units were defective...well, if you got pulled over and had nothing to drink and the ALCO said you were drunk, ok..

but these folks were pulled over for a reason...while a few cases may be thrown out, this issue is like a Toyota recalling some cars because the heater didn't work...it's not a big deal and was caught early on....some lawyers are looking to make money on a civil complaint against the faulty meters, but won't deal with you if you pleaded guilty to DUI!!

Who alerted the "authorities"? A peace officer. Did the officers using these devices knowingly and willingly use said device knowing they were defective? No...but interestingly, Lance's lawyer is supposedly authorized to train police officers to use the ALCO while calling them unreliable!! hmmmmm..something is fishy with that!

Darryl Genis is Standardized Field Sobriety Test Instructor (NHTSA / IACP) Owner and operator of all breath machines used in Santa Barbara and San Luis Obispo and Ventura Counties (Draeger 7410, Alco-sensor Mark IV, and Intoxylizer 5000....more into this joker Darryl Genis later....

thank you MADD, Officer Beutel and all the folks who work to keep these impaired JACKASSES off the road...

and to all the boozers out there, sitting in local dimly lit smoke-filled bars, rehashing stories about the one that got away, drinking COORS....or the upscale folks drinking martinis until the soft glow of inebriation bathes you...enjoy yourselves! it's your right...everyone deserves to relax and mix it up now and then...

but when you take that liquid happiness and get behind the wheel of a 2000 lb automobile and start driving, remember this: that's where your civil rights end, and mine begin....

you got your Colt Malt Liquor..and I got my Colt...Buntline Special....you hit me with your car while you're drunk, and I may deliver you a love letter..straight to your heart, fucker!! and you don't want a love letter from me....

liquor is quicker...

the Vatican protects child molester priests and DUI lawyers protect drunk drivers...

there's no doubt that alcohol is a big business..lots of money for everyone to go around....there is no way to stop people from drinking and I really don't want to..if given enough information they will decide for themselves when and where to drink....however, I do get furious when all that information is available, yet people still drive drunk..into their 30s 40s 50s 60s....

coaching boozehounds

DUI lawyers will tell you not to obey a cop if you get pulled over....in other words, they tell you to act guilty and immature !! what a scumbag job..... taking money to protect drunk drivers... I've always felt that DUI lawyers were the 2nd lowest life form above only child molesters...pretty silly way to make a living if you axe me...but Peter Lance needed a lawyer..a DUI lawyer and there's one I always see in the papers or online..this guy Darryl Genis is defending Lance...Genis thinks Mother's Against Drunk Driving (MADD) are a threat to your civil liberties!!

I took this from his website..what a scumbag!!!

Law Offices of Darryl W. Genis
the california dui environment
California is unique among the states in depriving its citizens of fundamental rights.

"Drinking & driving is not a crime in Santa Barbara."
In fact, adults may drink and drive legally in all fifty states, so long as they don't drive impaired or with a blood alcohol level above 0.08%. Unfortunately, many people are arrested for DUI when all they really did was drive after drinking.
That's why we're here. We are a law firm dedicated to defending citizens of Santa Barbara and Ventura counties by shattering the myths that for so long have led to the conviction of innocent drivers. We use real science and established police standards to show how easily someone may be wrongfully accused.
People visit these pages for many reasons. Whether you're shopping for a lawyer, doing research on MADD's threat to your civil liberties or researching defenses to a DUI, we invite you to pull up a chair. If you drink alcohol in Santa Barbara, you may wish to learn how to avoid an arrest or learn how to assert your rights if you are stopped. You may want to know what to expect from the DUI process in Santa Barbara. Whatever your reason for dropping by, we're glad you're here."

so according this jackass Darryl Genis, driving under the influence is a civil liberty!!!

the handwriting on the wall..

ok... so we got Lance and another drunk driver, a chick from UCSB, claiming that they didn't sign a waiver during their arrest, but that of the two signatures, one was forged by the cops or some phantom cop...

...and he's relying on a 'handwriting" expert, James Blanco to testify that the signatures were forged..and..STOP RIGHT THERE!! a handwriting expert? relying on a handwriting expert is like relying on a fortune teller....it's goddam silly...it's circus stuff...why do the courts allow this stuff??

"At first this question might seem like a great opportunity to lay out the difference between science and pseudoscience. On the one hand we have forensic handwriting analysis, in which an expert decides whether two or more samples were written by the same person, e.g., whether a signature was forged. On the other we have graphology, in which some sage tries to divine a subject's personality traits from his or her handwriting. While graphology enjoys about the same prestige as palm reading, forensic handwriting analysis has helped send people to jail since the days of the Lindbergh kidnapping. But in the eyes of the law, the credibility of such analysis is on the wane. Thanks to a landmark Supreme Court ruling in the early 90s, more and more federal judges are deciding that while forensic handwriting analysis may not be quackery, it's not exactly science either."

but let's assume that there are credible document examiners....according to Lance's article in the News-Press, Blanco told Lance that he was certain beyond a reasonable doubt that one of the two signatures on the documents ( Lance's DUI tickets)was forged....AND THAT SHOULD BE A RED FLAG TO THE COURTS!

"Qualified handwriting experts will first determine whether a questioned document contains a sufficient amount of writing to permit identification. Then, the expert will determine whether he can obtain adequate other examples of the subject's handwriting. If the questioned document and the exemplars contain sufficient identifiable characteristics, the expert considers both the similarities and the differences in the writings, and determines if there is a match. Often, experts consider unexplained differences in writing to be more important than similarities.
Even though the ultimate litigation goal is to determine the author of a particular document, many good handwriting experts will only go so far as opining that the writing is either consistent or inconsistent with having been authored by the person in question. If you are faced with an expert that is willing to make 100% definitive statements about authorship, (ie that it was forged,) on the record, it should be a red flag regarding the person's qualifications and professional affiliations." MGGLAW PLCC

geez Lance, what a sloppy investigation!!! and check this out about James Blanco:

The American Academy of Forensic Sciences has settled a federal lawsuit brought by a former member of its Questioned Documents section, James A. Blanco, who was expelled from the Academy in 2008, following an ethics investigation. The settlement brings an end to proceedings that began in 2006 when an ethics complaint was filed against Mr. Blanco.
On June 13, 2008, following an evidentiary hearing, the Academy’s Ethics Committee found clear and convincing evidence that Blanco had violated Section 1(a) of the Academy’s Code of Ethics and Conduct by submitting an erroneous and misleading report to be used in the judicial process, thereby diminishing confidence in forensic scientists and their disciplines..

The Academy’s President, Joseph Bono, noted, "The Academy’s Board of Directors has agreed to a non-monetary settlement of the lawsuit brought by James Blanco, a former member of the Academy who was expelled after having been found to have committed ethical violations in 2008 following an investigation of the Academy's Ethics Committee. To put an end to the nuisance of continued litigation, and the associated time and expense to the Academy, the Board of Directors resolved to settle the lawsuit under terms which simultaneously vacated the Board's expulsion and permitted Mr. Blanco to withdraw from the Academy in exchange for his pledge to never again seek admission to the Academy and to refrain from any further lawsuits against the Academy and its members."

this dude Blanco is dirty!!
http://www.aafs.org/academy-resolves-litigation-involving-expulsion-member

last call, Peter

jackass, part 2

what's the difference between a jackass and a jerkoff? NOTHING!!

no more excuses, Peter

from the police report which was not included in Peter Lance's story: On January 1st, 2011 at approximately 1:06 a.m., Officers Peterson and Clark were on patrol, en-route to an assigned call. They were driving up Santa Barbara Street, and stopped at a red light at Victoria Street. Stopped next to them was a black Range Rover being driven by Peter Lance, age 63. Stopped behind the Range Rover was another motorist. The light turned green, but the officers noticed that the Range Rover did not proceed forward. After about 5 seconds, the officers turned on a light to illuminate the interior of the Range Rover. One officer described Lance as looking down at his lap; the other described him as head drooping, chin nearly on his chest. After more seconds passed, Lance slowly drove forward through the intersection. The officers stopped Lance at 1400 Santa Barbara Street for Vehicle Code Sections 21451(a) which requires drivers to proceed when the light is green, and 22450, impeding traffic. Officer Peterson contacted Lance and noticed an odor of an alcoholic beverage. Lance said he drank 3 glasses of Champagne....
and that should be the end of the story!!!

so day two of Lance's self- investigation into his DUI arrests, full of faux facts and *maybe* the cops did this and *possibly* the cops did that....now he dredges up a guy named Mike Kenny..a "fisherman" who has been arrested for drunk driving before and drives around in an old truck with non-functioning brakelights...do you see a pattern of behavior here among these boozehounds..they are like two year olds who can't deal with authority!!!

apparently Kenny was driving on the Mesa one night and Officer Beutel noticed his tail lights and brake lights weren't working and he was driving erratically..so SHE STOPPED HIM!! ie she did her job...

but Peter and the News-Press are suggesting she should let these jackasses go?? Kenny was arrested for resisting arrest, but the DUI allegedly couldn't be proved...I wonder how much the News-Press paid Kenny for his story even though it doesn't prove anything other than the cops got a tough job dealing with idiots every day and night...so this dude Mike Keeny has to wear a monitoring ankle bracelet and they don't issue those to innocent citizens...this guy sounds like a slacker and a boozer...hey dude, when your brake lights don't work....you're supposed get them fixed.....duh!!!!

again.... thanks to the cops on the DUI beat for doing their jobs like they are supposed to do! if there ever was a story that highlights what public safety employees deal with, this is it...they earn every penny of their salaries and pensions!!

here's the email exchange between Peter and me where he calls me "Mike"... he was fishing for dirt on Officer Beutel..notice the first email was very polite and cordial..but when I replied and Peter realized I was not a Team Wendy member, he threw a hissy fit, became defensive and accusatory...this leads me to conclude he *may* have *possibly* been blasted when he wrote it...

Peter: Mike, I happened to pull this up from a blog entry you made:

http://santabarbaranewspressblogcom.blogspot.com/2009_12_01_archive.html

On 11/28 at 12:45 a.m., Officer Beutel, who works DUI enforcement, saw a black 2009 Mini Cooper driving eastbound from 1st E. Ortega Street at high speed. The Mini bottomed out at Anacapa Street, and continued eastbound. At Garden Street, the Mini ran the stop sign at approximately 30 mph, bottomed out again, and abruptly stopped in the middle of the street with the horn blaring. The driver, Jocelyn Harris Smith, age 23, got out and walked to the sidewalk. Officer Beutel stopped Smith and determined that the second bottoming-out was severe enough to deploy the driver?s side airbag. Smith was arrested for DUI.
Can you call me back? Would like to discuss it with you.
Many thanks, Peter Lance

Mick: the name is MICK not Mike..so what do you want to talk about?? make it brief and to the point...

Peter: Mick, forget it...It sounds like your time is to valuable

well Peter, I'm on to you and my time is TOO valuable.... but instead of denigrating the DUI cops who have to babysit guys like you with my tax dollars, and I don't give fuck how many Emmys you've won, or how far up Wendy's ass you got your nose, you should be thankful you didn't run into me that day.....thank your lucky stars..
tomorrow....what I think of DUI attorneys and a look at the ethics violations from Lance's "handwriting expert" James Blanco...

jackass

a "special" five part investigative series investigating the investigative journalist who is investigating the cop who arrested him for DUI....by Mick Von Caw

so I'm supposed to feel sorry for the slacker from the "Jackass" movies for killing himself and a buddy while driving drunk?? I saw this guy down a bottle of tequila in front of an audience for a publicity stunt...he was in his 30s..well past the age to get serious and get a real job..add something to society...instead he's praised by his idiot friends..well, I'm not sorry he's dead AT ALL but I'm glad he didn't kill an innocent by-stander..goddam stupidass drunk drivers!! I am sick of babysitting these dudes with my tax dollars!!

the People vs Peter Lance

the News-Press and Peter Lance, their "five time Emmy Award winning sometime investigative reporter" are in damage control mode.....and after some speculation, we finally get a DUI confession/explanation from Peter Lance on the front page of the News-Press..Peter started a five part investigative series to deflect attention away from himself, accusing the police of manipulating evidence in an unrelated DUI case and accusing the officer who arrested him of running a scam! Lance is good friends with News-Press editor Don Katich...

Lance confessed to getting busted for drunk driving on New Year's day and being a defendant in the case of the People vs Peter Lance after mention was made on this blog..he says he was innocent with only a 0.09 BA level and blames a police officer named Kasi Beutel for arresting him for quota purposes...

well I gotta say THANK YOU OFFICER BEUTEL (an obviously healthy woman) for getting these drunken jackasses off the ROAD!!

what a jackass...Peter Lance, the 5 time Emmy award winning former ABC News sometimes News-Press investigative reporter, is obviously pretty desperate......and now we have another "investigative report" in the News-Press after we, that's right, we exposed his upcoming criminal trial on this blog....who else could he turn to but enabler Wendy?

now, I believe that Peter may be an alcoholic..how dare the cops arrest him for drunk driving.....it's all their fault...instead of admitting it like a man, he will do a FIVE PART SERIES on the police conspiracy against him...an exhaustive wordy excuse for his own irresponsible actions as he admits he was only a little drunk when he got behind the wheel and blew a 0.09.... for a 160 lb man, that's five beers!!!

consider this: 0.09-0.25 is the favorite Blood Alcohol range of the drunks on Team Wendy

0.09 - 0.25 Excitement Emotional instability; loss of critical judgment
Impairment of perception, memory and comprehension
Decreased sensitory response; increased reaction time
Reduced visual acuity; peripheral vision and glare recovery
Sensory-motor incoordination; impaired balance
Drowsines

so Peter Lance will attempt to put the cop who arrested him on trial in the News-Press, will attempt to show all the poor little drunks whose lives she's destroyed by stopping them while they were inebriated...if you don't drive drunk folks you got nothing to worry about..if you choose to drive drunk, you may get caught and come up with these wild grandiose ideas of pink elephants that are chasing you as you try to resurrect a washed up career with the help of Wendy and Nipper....running to the News-Press to save your reputation..now that shows some serious impairment of perception!!!

tomorrow.... a closer look at this Peter Lance character and his emails to me....

it's over

going in circles...

ok Mike... we're through!! I tried to see the good, the independence, the spirit...I got a glimpse maybe but as soon as my back is turned you go and do this...are you trying to make a fool outta me? a monkey outta me? do you think you're the first woman to try that?? well guess what..you're not..and frankly, most all you city council people got me going around in circles!!

Mrs Self: "I'd like to echo what Mr. Francisco said"..and that's part of the problem..you conseravtives are like an echo chamber!! that's why you voted to kill the Brown Act two weeks ago, and then on Tuesday, had to crawl on your bellies to admit in front of Santa Barbara that you made a mistake, not only with your vote, but with your echo because you followed Dale Francisco over the cliff......helllllloooooo...hellllooooooo hellloooooo down thereeeeeeee......

and there's more Mike...not only did you vote against a city of Santa Barbara utility rate hike, and not only did the News-Press praise you for that, but you wrote a letter to the editor, kissing up to Wendy when you should have scolded her... telling them they misrepresented you in the editorial...but not really smacking the opinion piece as a hit on public employees!!

look Mike, you can't have your cake and eat it too...and your overtures to the New-Press tell me where your loyalties lie... or lay..or whatever

City Hall used to have pretty flowers in front..but you conservatives have killed them all!!

like I said the News-Press praised you but turned your vote into an anti-public employee rant...in your efforts to chastise them, you praised them every other sentence so's not to upset Wendy! so in reality, you are not so independent if you can't stand up to the corrupt News-Press! it was a mousy response so now you're a mouse in my eyes..always looking to the ratty News-Press for approval..

in other words, you should have let Wendy have it with both barrels..but you didn't...and now Iya Falcone is back for more laughs...so as of right this very moment Mike... I am un-endorsing you.... and I'm almost busting from all this entertainment...tainment...tainment...tainment....

i gotta brand new pair of roller skates

you got a brand new key...

let's see...how about we take a look at a couple of nonprofits...

one called the California Space Authority was headed by Republican Andrea Seastrand who spent lots of money on facelifts, and a bunch of other conservatives who promised a big space center in Lompoc, got millions of dollars from the gov't, then disappeared!
CSA Took $16M in Public Funds (Source: Pacific Coast Business Times)
The recently dissolved California Space Authority used millions of dollars in federal earmarks and grants to shuffle paper and produce reports with little to show for it. It also acted as conduit to help secure federal funding for government contractors, including some who wrote checks to the Space Authority. The group said it played by the rules.

The Space Authority, based in Santa Maria, was a private nonprofit group designed to bring together California’s space industry. Its major supporters included Lockheed Martin, Boeing, Northrop Grumman and Raytheon. But the nonprofit secured only a few hundred thousand dollars per year from those sources, its leaders say.

The Space Authority’s largest source of funding has been government. U.S. and California agencies gave it $15.9 million directly during the past 15 years. These governments also tapped the Space Authority to oversee or screen proposals for $106.6 million in additional government spending.

the other is called Move America Forward, a movement born out of the Recall Gray Davis campaign years ago...and gave us Arnold!!!

I saw this press release in the Independent of all places...Radio talk show hosts Dr. Laura Schlessinger (Dr. Laura is one of the most popular radio talk shows in the radio world. She reaches out to a huge and very diverse group of audiences with her mix of relationship and family advice, personal responsibility and a smattering of political opinion. Her unique blending of social and political commentary has hundreds of listeners calling in everyday with problems, and seeking Dr. Laura’s advice)...Her own son, Deryk Schlessinger joined the United States Army in 2004 and served tours of duty in Iraq and Afghanistan. Dr Laura takes her role as an Army Mom very seriously and she supports the troops 110% that’s why she’s joined Troopathon) and Michael Graham have BOTH just joined the 4th annual Troopathon campaign to send the largest single shipment of care packages to U.S. troops in history who sacrifice so much to protect our freedoms....

troops who sacrifice to protect our freedoms???...well, no not really...we invaded these countries so if you sign up for that expect to be shot at and killed......invading Iraq and Afghanistan has made America less safe....the argument that we attacked to liberate women is silly...Saudi Arabia won't let women drive, should we attack them too...no, they give us oil...America needs a reality check..GET THE FUCK OUT OF THESE ISLAMIC COUNTRIES and let the troops come back to their families, then you won't have to send care packages or hold pro-war rallies..see, it's simple!!

but war is a big business
U.S. Defense Contractors' Overseas Sales Surge (Source: LA Times)
Defense contractors are finding foreign markets lucrative as demand surges for weaponry made in the U.S. In 2011, U.S. firms are expected to sell $46.1 billion in military hardware to foreign markets. The increase in overseas sales comes as the U.S. government aims to trim its defense spending. However, the situation is raising concerns among advocates of arms control. (6/19)

Jesus H Christ on a popsickle stick..we've been through all these shady war charities that enrich the people running them..fraud fraud fraud..to support the troops of course...best way to support the troops and stop invading sovereign countries!! you dumbass conservatives can't get that through your heads??

Move American Forward describes itself as "...a non-partisan, not-for-profit organization committed to supporting America’s efforts to defeat terrorism and supporting the brave men and women of our Armed Forces." which is bullshit because it's a rightwing pro-war PAC/lobby disguised as a charity, and nonprofit...Move America Forward (MAF), part of a pro-war lobby, is headed by California Republican activists, talk show hosts and staff members of the public relations firm Russo, Marsh and Rogers which has strong ties to the Republican Party. PR professional Sal Russo is the chief strategist for MAF. It is a conservative 501c3 not-for-profit organization formed in early 2004 by Howard Kaloogian and "acclaimed radio and television personality" Melani Morgan (formerly of KSFO 560 AM -- San Francisco). As a non-profit organization it is not required to reveal its funders to the public...
and Dr. Laura...the only reason she does these things is for publicity...for her dumb dying career....
whatever....just as long as she keeps her boney ass out of Carpinteria and sells her propaganda elsewhere.... but "Move America Forward" is now on my radar..

the Rookies

I love the politics in Santa Barbara! there are so many different special interests controlling the politicians that when they make mistakes they run to their patrons for cover..this seems to be an exclusively conservative trait...

witness the front page story on Dale Francisco who stepped in big pile of doo doo when he announced he wants to repeal the Brown Act so he and his cronies can discuss the public's business in private..the backlash was huge and now he's running for cover to the News-Press, blaming "radicals" for his predicament.....Dale, who is often praised as being super smart, has made many mistakes during his tenure on the City Council and his re-election is seriously threatened by his obvious instability....

next, we have Michael Self, sitting in the cockpit at the new airport terminal, trying to usurp Airport Director Karen Ramsdell's authority, and voting against utility rate increases while the News-Press praised her in an editorial....the editorial was written by Lanny Ebenstein as he mentions his guru free market clown Friedrich Hayak..proof positive that he works for the News-Press when Nipper told me he didn't!

Wendy and Mike are showing their rookie status and lack of a working understanding when it comes to utilities and they tried to turn it into a pension/compensation issue....the utilities like water and wastewater are expensive and they have professionals working there to keep costs down..take a tour and you'll see..but these resources belong to the city, they operate 24 hours a day and that means the giant pumps are constantly running requiring maintenance and replacement on a cyclicle basis...the utilites are staffed by state certified professionals.... so you can't shortcut the operations here..you could sell it all off and privitize but the rates would skyrocket...the evidence is everywhere..and the public rate increases have nothing to do with compensation as there have already been concessions made...

it is clear that the News-Press phobia about public employees has morphed into a full blown psychosis! where's the NP outrage when the oil companies raise gas prices even though they received record profits and gov't subsidies? or when the insurance companies raise rates to protect investors, not consumers?? ahh..yes..these folks think the unfettered free market will solve everything....how quickly they forget Enron, AIG and taxpayer bank bailouts...

so Mike and Wendy and Lanny don't know what they are talking about when it comes to the real working class issues...Mike, you're walking a thin line with me now and I can easily take back my endorsement..the next decision you make needs to be thought out, not made to please patron Wendy...it's up to you...it's all up to you....we don't need more restaurant critics or bon vivants..we do need trained professionals to take care of our public utilities...

the other council members voted to approve the modest increase..and that was the right move...but how about a nice Bronx cheer for Mike and Team Wendy!

Father Knows Best

all you fathers out there who called your daughters "princess" or "kitten" when they were little girls..well, it may explain the state of womanhood today...they expect to be treated like princesses or look for daddy's love thru animals..which is why there's so many animal foundations and messed up chicks like #69...thanks a lot DADs....bunch of mothers....

now, will you recall Coleen Sullivan, (Coleen spelled with one "L"), the former KEYT reporter babe who left the station under a pregnant cloud of suspicion and who once dated Princess Di's brother Charles..she had a certain brunette flowery charm about her...well, Charles recently got married to a Coleen lookalike: at the Spencer family home known as Althorp, in Northamptonshire, England, Princess Diana's younger brother tied the knot for the third time on Saturday.

The ninth Earl Spencer, Charles, wed Canadian philanthropist Karen Gordon in a morning wedding on the grounds of the ancestral estate where Diana is buried...

which brings us to today's story about KEYT and the News-Press and Scott Steepleton's piece on Jim Bunning, departing news director at KEYT...now I'm no fan of KEYT what with the same old stuff they report like traffic accidents and stabbings in Oxnard while ignoring local stories involving the likes Lanny Ebenstein and other members of Team Wendy...but for the News-Press to cast judgement on the station is beyond the limits of bad journalism..and Scott is a poor excuse for a journalist...he's Wendy's servant..

now the thing I found funny other than the whole article was this passage about Bunning: "he was apparently fired from Channel 4 in 2005 for not reporting to higher-ups an affair between a reporter and a producer..a relationship with the potential for preferential treatment"...

laobserved

geez..in the private sector, you have to turn in co-workers who are sleeping together??? I know a bunch of people who slept together! and how come nobody turned in Travis and Scott??

now please...you must be kidding Scott... don't you think that the owner of the News-Press sleeping with the co-publisher Nipper, who takes a paycheck from her and calls her his employer, holds potential for preferential treatment?? duh!! geez this Steepleton dude is dumb as a pickle.... and I wanna know who got Coleen pregnant!!!

of course I understand that Wendy and co are in perpetual defense mode, so any dirt on her enemies will be reported whether it's true or not..we saw that with Travis all the time...and my job here is to expose these hypocrites with satire..using whatever it takes..and since the departure of Travis and Dr. Laura and the sinking circulations and subscriptions, I know that the pressure is working and the only thing keeping the News-Press afloat is the money Wendy won when she divorced billionaire Craig McCaw...
now that's a funny story!!

Tension City

a rose by any other name is still a rose...

I was watching the county budget hearings Friday... Salud Carbajal and the new conservative guy Steve Lavagnino were going at it...Steve was complaining that the reason they are in a tight budget situation is because the liberals on the board don't allow enough development of oil and gas or big business, his two main special interests!! that pissed off Salud who proceeded to tell Steve he was oversimplifying the issues and making a political speech..Salud dressed down the rookie!!

Chair Joni Gray and Radio Wendy 1290 AM member Andy Caldwell got into it, too, so she cut off his microphone..." I don't have time to argue with Mr. Caldwell" says Joni....hah!! wow tension city!!


geez... ....people are just a little jumpy lately....everybody needs to just calm down..everything will be alright....relax... like Tommy Bahama says!

now I'm not the only one who looked suspiciously at Greka Oil after they kept spilling oil on land leased ot them by Team Wendy members Brooks Firestone and Cowboy Willie...but I really thought they sunk low when they hired Mike Stoker as spokeman..Mike told us the leaks were the result of political attacks or a phantom saboteur instead of dumb operators and incompetent managers...damn I hate it when people lie staight faced to me!! and guess what..and this is too funny...Mike is back as Greka's spokesman...he was on TV crying about over-regulation and making excuses for Greka with background video of oil oozing out of Greka's facilities onto the ground!! what about corporate responsibility, Mike??

anyway, I read a few stories online about how Greka changed its name to HVI Cat Canyon, Inc...the Pacific Coast Times and Dept of Justice deserve some praise for actual reporting on this...and wow Wendy, so did the local media...so don't be too hard in Saturday's News-Press on the retiring/leaving/running away news director at KEYT, okay honey??
you guys are ten times worse!!!

then I see that a character named Randeep Grewel owns Greka...he's been highlighted in the Indie before they became the Montecito Journal for libs! but Grewel is a billionaire Islamist Montecitoist who can afford to be an environmental terrorist...until the public watchdogs stop him....

from Pacific Coast Business Times:

"According to the federal release, Greka has changed its name to HVI Cat Canyon Inc. The name change is one in a long string for the company once run by Randeep Grewal, an elusive energy magnate who has resurfaced in mainland China with operations under the Greka banner.

The company there is called Green Dragon Gas, and it is traded on the Alternative Investment Market of the London Stock Exchange. Last year, it had revenues of $49.7 million, and its assets grew to $963 million.
Over the years, Grewal has moved some assets beyond the reach of courtroom adversaries and creditors. In the bankruptcy proceedings of Saba Enterprises, a firm Grewal controlled, officials found a tangled web of transactions among 30 companies over 20 years. Those transactions included the transfer of Greka Energy companies to entities that Grewal owned directly or indirectly, court documents said.

Because of what officials called the “the curious absence in the books and records turned over” of details related to the transfer of the Greka Energy companies, officials have sought court orders compelling the Greka Energy firms to hand over more information about their transfer."

and ultra-con Team Wendy members like Stoker and Armendariz, two fixtures of the SBCTA who are always crying about too much regulation hurting the California business climate.....it's the few businesses who are too cheap to police themselves or pay decent wages..
but hey... let's cut regulations across the board..the local water and wastewater treatment plants could run a lot cheaper if they didn't treat the water or sewage..just let it spill in hundreds of thousands of gallons thru the streets of Santa Barbara....or when you turn on your tap, nothing comes out because the stoner operators were busy with online gambling!! yeah, no regulations... that sounds like a brilliant idea!!!
Circus Vargas called and they're missing a few clowns.....

Marrakesh Express

all aboard the train...

before Wendy and Nipper went to party in Morocco, I heard they called SB councilman Dale Franciso into their office at De La Guerra Plaza and read him the riot act....apparently Wendy was not pleased with Dale's attempt to rewrite the Brown Act .. the open meeting law that requires public officials conduct the people's business openly....

Dale wanted to meet secretly with fellow council members a few days after Wendy endorsed him...you'll recall Wendy sued the city when she thought a commission member was plotting things behind her back...now Dale has a mugshot at the News-Press building!

she was heard screaming at Dale, asking him repeatedly if he enjoyed the lifestyle she provides him and if he betrays her again, she will cut him off!!!

so I read in the MJ that some old fat chick named Cat Pollon was throwing a party in Marrakech and I was not invited!! The city is located near the Atlas mountains, scene of the Hitchcock thriller "the Man who Knew Too Much" with Jimmy Stewart and Doris Day! I loved that scene where Doris sang "Que Sera Sera"....I kinda lived my life by that philosophy every since...

but anyway like I said the fat heiress Cat Pollon didn't invite me but she did invite Wendy and Nipper and former KEYT reporter Martha Bull, who inexpicably is Nipper's friend...

well, I'm glad I didn't go because shortly before they all arrived there was a terrorist attack at one of the touristy attractions..a restaurant..can you imagine going to Morocco, eating at a fine restaurant and then having your body blown apart while your downing the couscous?? what a bummer!! but you can't be afraid and stop living, can you??
the future's not ours to see, que sera sera

something happened to me yesterday...

the Duchess....

ok so I know lots of people~ mostly rightwingers~ are obsessed with British royalty....I assume that their lives are so empty, they sit around and wait for glimpses of people born into wealth..and live vicariously through them.....I live vicariously through nearly everyone so I can understand that...but I worked for living goddamit so I live in the real world..make no mistake..a world of weeds, roses and rainbows, strawberries, cherries and an angel's kiss in spring....and street fighting men...

but the new stars of British uppity are Prince William who looks a little goofy and his bride Kate Middleton, who doesn't....they seem to create a fuss everywhere they go, so they are now on my radar...But though Prince William and Kate won't be employing any household staff right now, they do plan to bring some help on their upcoming trip to California. "The Duchess of Cambridge plans to bring hairdresser James Pryce with her on the North American tour," an insider told Us Magazine. " The couple will also be bringing an administrative assistant."

now I happened to like Princess Diana because she was a rebel and real and the stuffy Queen didn't like her..I was sad when she died....

Kate it seems doesn't have as much personality as Princess Di and although pretty, seems a bit daffy...I could be wrong...I hear they will be stopping a few miles down the road at the Polo Fields in Carpinteria on July 9 to attend an event and I invite them to stop at my place for a spot of tea if they'd like..mingle with a working class guy for a bit instead of a bunch of cracked out bad actors in Hollywood!

otherwise, I gotta ride my bike over to the Polo grounds and try to snap some pictures....I think it will be fun but I imagine the security will be heavy, so good luck to me....I'll need to position myself strategically...hey maybe I'll see me mate Mick Jagger there!

and good luck to Kate and William for a future of privilege, wealth and sexy hair!!
and remember when you're out on your bike, wear white!

angel is a centerfold

de old folks at home..

when I was a kid, I'd find Playboy magazines lying around the house...not exactly hidden, but not exactly in plain site....I figured they were my old man's or brothers....I opened them and saw naked ladies, posed, air-brushed, with perky tits staring at me...I read their likes and dislikes..occasionally, I'd rip out the centerfold and attempt to mate with her..hey, that's what teens do..every male needs a playmate at sometime in his life...

please give a warm welcome to:

Lexi Lombardelli

HOMETOWN: Plant City, FL
BIRTHDAY: 07/30/1988
HEIGHT: 5′ 1″
WEIGHT: 103 lbs
BREAST: 34B
MEASUREMENTS: 34B-24-35

but you gotta hand it to Hugh Heffner for at least trying to fight censorship...Hefs an old dude now who still likes young blondes, but that's no reason to discard him like yesterday's papers, is it?

I found another thing that scares some Santa Barbarans....old folks..specifically, the old folks who live in Hidden Valley...an enclave of wealthy white middle aged yuppies, with designer dogs and fears of ivy....I watched the city council meeting regarding the Valle Verde Retirement home expansion and watched some residents of Valle Verde come and speak to the benefits of the place..these folks were doctors and lawyers and soldiers who lived before us and now deserve a nice environment to live the rest of their days, without being harassed by a few idiotic neighbors..those neighbors I witnessed on Tuesday night try ot derail the project with fears that I found hysterical..one chick came up and cried about the "poison invasive species" that are growing on the Valle Verde property (a definite old people metaphor)...she had slides showing some ivy and other plants that scared her..she was insane, jabbering about non-natives being a threat to her safety!!

then some dude came up and complained about trucks, intersections and eucalyptus trees...and some lady, a valley girls blonde lawyer went on and on about how special she is and should not have to put up with old people in her neighborhood....

it was a very silly display by some elitists..and I rather do not appreciate elitists..they do not impress me..they think they are special, but they sit on the crapper just like everyone else, so they're really not so high class, after all, are they....

I haven't really paid this neighborhood a visit and I think I will....and maybe give them all something worthwhile to be afraid of....

fire down below...

rap-sody in blue

I went to the Ranch with fire in my Pants
the sign was saggin' so I went baggin'
lookin for Snoop to get the latest poop
cruisin' in my truck, runnin' outta luck

the trees was invasive, the streets was sloppy
and they was Snoop in his Escalade jalopy
riding wid a group, coulda been his posse
I pulled up beside and almost hit a hossey..

I said hey Snoop, wut up my nigga
then he pulls outta gun and puts his finger on the trigga

I say whoa wait, I'm keepin it real
he says you white boys is slippery, like a banana peel

then we saw Wendy, riding in her tank
I said hey Snoop, that bitch is so blank
Snoop said buzz you look like da fuzz
so I headed for the sand, and gotta a little tan...

taking care of business

and working overtime....

so I was looking forward to attending the criminal trial of "sometime News-Press five time Emmy award winning former ABC investigative journalist" Peter Lance, but I looked on the court calender and they moved it to late July...and no trial but rather a settlement hearing with Judge Brian Hill... Hill hears a lot of domestic violence cases, but I don't want to chase this thing until 2012...justice is a slow boat to China it seems....

so I looked at the new publication online called the Montecito Messenger and was underwhelmed....it was rather boring...the first edition needed a hook....not a bunch of old news about the Miramar and interviews with people nobody knows.... step it up people!!!

there's a bunch of stories the local news media won't touch..instead they are content to report on stabbings in Oxnard, car accidents, pensions of public workers, bank robberies..that's it..that's what their news cycle revolves around! and they are content to sip wine at tasting parties and attend ballroom functions honoring old Santa Barbarans with lots of money....it's too sick...when are the local media gonna start taking care of business??

unions vs nonprofits

so the News-Press released the results of its latest push poll..with anti-union slants..and this time they claimed 900 people responded...of course most said the unions were causing the budget problems in the county...on the Voices page they had two opinions by Team Wendy members Lanny Ebenstein and Mike Stoker... both guys had the same message to end gov't worker pensions and keep giving to nonprofits...

Lanny always repeats this idiotic line "government does not exist to provide pensions to retired government workers; government exists to provide services for the people".....
Lanny, lemme tell you something: government exists to compensate hired employees for services rendered.. government does not exist to hand money to nonprofits...do you understand that, you dumb fuck???

Stoker said as a former supervisor in 1992, he was trying to manage a 30 million dollar county deficit...were the unions to blame back then, too??? of course not...

if you read Stoker's opinion, it was a jumbled mass of confusion and self congratulations about what he accomplished 20 years ago....the point was Mike wants to save the non-profits..and all of a sudden Team Wendy is concerned about the poor and disadvantaged!

well, all those tax exempt entities that ask the county for money and the tax payers for money double dip all the time and councils always give away your tax dollars...and all these folks on Team Wendy love nonprofits..Wendy's got one in her own name..the Wendy Pee McCaw Foundation...she parks about 35 million dollars there for tax purposes, I bet...and the News-Press must be a nonprofit since it hasn't turned a profit in 10 years!!

so Mike wants the county to keep giving to the nonprofits....nonprofits that are sitting on billions and overpaying their CEOs!! that's a major reason why budgets are in crisis...it is easier to blame the unions and the public workers and Wendy, always looking for the easy way, continues to use the poor for political purposes...

there is no reason any government body should give handouts to the nonprofits..if they want to exist, they can raise their own money..and the county should do what Boston did.....start retrieving cash from the foundations who have been stealing from the public for too long....

BOSTON — The City of Boston has been mailing voluntary property tax bills to major hospitals, universities and museums. As nonprofits, they don’t have to pay taxes, but Boston Mayor Thomas Menino says they should. He is asking them to pay a quarter of what they’d have to pay if they were taxable institutions.
While Boston has long collected voluntary payments from its nonprofit institutions, it has done so haphazardly, with some universities paying millions of dollars, while their peers paid little or nothing." The City is to be given some credit for finally turning up the heat on some of these nonprofit institutions which get away virtually scot-free from paying taxes under a law that dates from 1830(!).

and.....I read in the Daily Sound that Mike's friend, JoeArmenrdariz, Carp city council member, was having trouble paying his property taxes..and I see Joe just sold his house..looks like a short sale (read in the News-Press real estate section) .....and I see Joe is now working for Wendy's radio station as a co-host of "Voice of Santa Barbara AM 1290"..that's Lanny's show!! remember when the News-PRess was doing stories on the SB City Council members with personal issues, like Barnwell and Babatudne et al...well maybe they will check out Joe's issues...

“What really impresses me about Joe Armendariz is he is a Republican that was elected in a city with a large Democrat majority. He was able to do in Carpinteria what Governor Schwarzenegger did in California, build broad coalitions.” – Andy Granatelli, retired professional race car driver

In short, I recommend Joe Armendariz for any opportunity or position for which he might apply or seek. No one could do a better job.” – Lanny Ebenstein, Professor of Economics....UCSB economics professor??? hey, Joe, Mike and Lanny are back together again....what next fellas, are you gonna conduct Real Estate seminars on how to lose properties??

but... I guess these guys will just never learn...if you preach financial and personal responsibility you need to practice what you preach...and if you go after hard working thrifty public workers when you can't even manage your own checkbooks, then perhaps it's time to leave the public eye and work on these things...or you could just run to Wendy when the going gets tough....

it's the work that we avoid and we're all self employed, we love to work at nothing all day...

there goes the neighborhood...

Dope Ranch....

so I was wondering what the News-Press was so afraid of...constant opinions and guest opinions crying that the public is at risk..we need more cops on the streets...safety will be a casualty if any more public employees get pensions.....we need cops says Wendy and Lanny...cops and more cops...we need to be protected..from gangs and from homeless people..and on and on....

Wendy, it seems, is frightened of something....or someone....but who or what I asked myself....Nipper seems scared too....you get a sense of impending doom or a cloud of fear hanging over the News-Press....next time you read it, look for a story or opinion about things that scare Wendy....

so there I was wondering to myself and then I thought about Hope Ranch where she lives..is something bothering her in the secluded enclave? It's a pretty place with lots of trees and you can wander around without getting shot at..or it used to be that way ...

now, here's something I didn't even know..a former member of the Crips lives in Hope Ranch...the Crips is an LA gang that kills lots of people for no reason....and a former member lives near Wendy..and that member is Snoop Dogg! He bought a house in 2006.... right about the time Wendy started getting scared..

hey Wendy, I'd be scared to if a Crips dude lived next to me....the thought of a black man in Hope Ranch is very unsettling! how'd the Hope Ranch Homeowners Association let that happen???

"Game Of Life"

[Snoop:]
GAME that's my thang
and it ain't no rules when you in this game
[3X's]

Gunblast [gunshots] echo fast and all I seen was loose cash
I hit the flo' & when they go I make sure I grab all the dough
The Scene: Long Beach yeah '86
Where: The liquor store nigga on some devilish shit
I went in to grab a drink but I came out a felon
my homeboy got away but shit I wasn't tellin'
So I fell in a trap with no getback
they threw away the key and now I'm a OG
In the County jail rappin & bangin' at the same time
and since I don't smoke cigarettes loc
shit I gotta slang mine
And I ain't tryin' to get on swole so I ain't fuckin' with the iron
I got bitches bringin' me money & ain't a godamn thing funny....

so maybe Snoop is, when he's not riding his horse or attending functions at Laguna Blanca school, maybe Snoop is attracting a gang element to the Hope Ranch area...the stabbings at Hendry's and the lowlifes that hang out there now could be Snoop's fans!! and they could be partying below Wendy's properties and scaring her which is why she wants them OFF HER BEACH BITCHES!!!

butt remember Wendy, when you're rich, it's all a game, that's my thang
and it ain't no rules when you in this game ....