Sunday, July 22, 2012

if you could read my mind

what a tale my thoughts could tell...

remember Diane Dimond? no? well, who can blame ya! but I remember Diane from her ubiquitous Gossip TV stints....you know the shows..they report stuff nobody needs to know...fluff TV FOX NEWS kind of stuff....that's why people today have gone berserk like that dude in Colorado who massacred folks watching the new Batman movie....people like Diane Dimond were feeding viewers a steady course of TV mush and some of the them went crazy!

anyway smarmy Diane has resurfaced on Noozhawk..I'm not suprised...the News-Pest gave no-talent Dr. Laura another shot at stardom, and now Noozhack is giving Diane a shot at...at..writing mush on Noozhawk....another coup by Billy Mac!
so Diane's latest colum was about her love for lie detector tests in which she claims your body telegraphs your lies and some tips if you're trying to beat a test....in case someone straps some electrodes on you to see if you stole that bottle of wine from the New-Pest cellars!

from her column:
Since the first modern-day lie detector machine went into use back in 1921, the technology has evolved considerably. So much so that Trimarco is willing to reveal at least one major weapon polygraphists use today to detect those who try to cheat by using the “countermeasures” described above. It’s called the movement or pressure pad, and the person taking the test sits on it.

“It detects any muscle movement that could be a countermeasure,” Trimarco told me. “If a person deliberately bites their tongue or squeezes their sphincter, their physiology will change. When a person tells a lie, their physiology changes, and they can’t help it,” he said. The subject’s sweat glands will activate, their blood pressure will jump then go down immediately, their respiration will change, and all this happens over the course of just a few seconds.
In other words, your body telegraphs your lies.

no it doesn't!! a lie detector test is of course a joke...why people still take it seriously is beyond me, but there is no machine that they can hook you up to and determine if you are lying or why your ass is tightening up..none...it's just common sense..and tracing the history of these things, you can go back to all sorts of contraptions they used to use to get the truth...

from the web:
Amazingly the lie detector, largely spurned by the rest of the world, lives on in the United States, although new technologies have appeared on the horizon: machines that measure minute changes in facial expression, vocal pitch or heat around the eyes. None of them, Mr. Alder notes, address a central problem pointed out by Montaigne four centuries ago, the inconvenient fact that “the reverse side of the truth has a hundred thousand shapes and no defined limits.”

A landmark legal decision in 1923 barred lie-detector tests from being introduced as evidence in the courtroom, but elsewhere — in banks, factories and departments of government — the magic machine carved out a role for itself, offering a clean technological solution to messy human problems.

Advertisers flirted with it briefly in a series of tests to discover how consumers truly felt about their razors, cigarettes and gasoline. With an eye to the censors, film executives applied its findings to the editing of films like “All Quiet on the Western Front” and “Frankenstein.” During the cold war it was used by the State Department to weed out Communist sympathizers and, in far greater numbers, homosexuals.

so Lie Detectors are simply devices that measure physiological responses like sweating, heart rate or whatever....there is no lie that can be read by a machine...no unique lie response that people give when not telling the truth....a polygraph machine measures general emotional arousal-it can't distinguish between a lie or a hard-on!!

it's fun looking at the history of this stuff and what people spent their time inventing and why, but for Diane Dimond to suggest that lie detector tests are valid scientific methods for neatly reading us messy people, then I would suggest if a lie can be detected, then love can be detected too!

I would like to hook up two electrodes to Diane's left and right nipple to see if she loves me....or a wet tee shirt would work just as well!!

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