Thursday, July 19, 2012

the Maltese Falcon

Cairo: You always have a very smooth explanation...
Spade: What do you want me to do - learn to stutter?

whenever I go to the Courthouse in Santa Barbara, sometimes it feels like I'm watching a Bogart or Borat! film...a film noir....maybe that's the attraction....guys with shifty eyes skulking around in black suits whispering to each other.....gals with sexy hairdos and horned rimmed eyeglasses and ruby red lipstick....or a girl at the beach...

I had heard from the News-Pest itself that there would be a hearing today at 10:00 am on the complaint by DUI lawyer Darryl Genis that the prosecution was in contempt of court for coaching the cops in a recent DUI trial..or something like that..so I get there at 9:30 and go in the courtroom and News-Pest City Editor Scott Steepleton was walking out all bent over like the Hunchback of Notre Dame......Scott sees me and looks down.... like a guy in search of a statuette, a black bird ..or maybe he was looking for Cairo??

hey.... there's Peter Lance in the audience..Pete was pale and dressed in black, he looked like a ghost, like some unknowable force had crawled in and snatched his soul away...and I know he was sitting with Scotty, who shaved his beard off and was looking like Sydney Greenstreet the fat guy in the "Maltese Falcon"......I think you got cheated Scott, genetically speaking..

Lance looked like one of the killers..one of the hitmen.. one of the hoods...and Genis looked like Peter Lorre! I of course was Sam Spade!

we all were looking for a metaphor for justice...a little symbolism..we were looking for the Maltese Falcon

the hearing was wrapping up and Genis was complainiung to the judge that the prosecuting lawyer in the recent DUI trial that Darryl lost, Genis was complaining that the lawyer was late today...but Judge Hill said the hearing was supposed to start at 10:00 am.....and no sanctions would be applied to anyone today...

I don't know what happened but judging by the looks on their faces, Darryl lost again...Lance and Darryl left and as I exited the court room, I noticed them sitting together on a bench down the hall... I snuck down the side of the hall like a detective and hid in the law library doorway...I heard them discussing trial issues because Lance has a tendency to yell or talk loud and it appeared he was coaching Darryl on what to say to the judge! you know, the cheaper the crook, the gaudier the patter.

Lance was muttering things like "call him on it" or "don't let him get away with it"....definitely sounded like he was coaching Darryl...I tried to get a picture without showing myself, but it was difficult.. I was still hidden but I stuck my camera out into the hall so they couldn't see me.... you can just barely see the mugs...
oh...I thought I heard Hill say there'd be a continuation until the 31st on this matter...so I figure that Darryl Genis must be having fits again..his lawyering has yet to produce any justice, and Lance must've got dumped by Match.com dame, and Scott must be getting weary of writing DUI and animal stories for Wendy....yeah, that's what I think is going on here....

that's my guess... my guess might be excellent or it might be crummy, but Mrs. Spade didn't raise any children dippy enough to make guesses in front of a district attorney, and an assistant district attorney, and a stenographer...

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wonder if Peter Lance was coaching Darryl Genis on what to say in court so that Lance could include the material in the next "investigative" series he writes for the N-P.

Anonymous said...

Too bad they did not get the sanctions they wanted. This may cause them to have a hissy fit. Seems like the 3 stooges are not doing well here either .

Anonymous said...

What is the News Press' fascination with this overweight defender of DUIs? Why do they cover one lawyer's cases over and over? It's absurd. What a lousy paper the News Press is. I can't believe I subscribed to it.