Thursday, December 24, 2015

Rag Mama Rag

we could be relaxing, in my sleeping bag

I rushed into Santa Barbara to Samy's Camera for some $39 Olympus goodness what a steal..they are awesome! the clearest..I can see things I've never seen before! Samy's Camera..great store!

but I noticed that up to the the 500 block of State St it's very a canyon..there's way too many trees and weirdly confabbed wineries and the sun can't get's 10:00 am...I get some stuff at World Market..there's a yuppie couple walking their dog thru the aisles...annoying..geez buy something and move on

I step outside into the downtown darkness and run to my truck and speed off....just feels like someone will get stabbed in the shadows of State St

whew..made it to Cabrillo Blvd alive and stop by the Bird Refuge..oh goody a city truck is there..aha Deliverance finally...maybe I can meet Jill ..I dart across the street and see two chicks in a kayak in the water.. I shoot them some questions

Me: What the hell you think you're doing?

Parks Gals: Headin' downriver. Little canoe trip. Headin' for Montecito

Me: Montecito?

Parks Gal: Sure, this river only runs one way, Captain. Haven't you heard?

Me: You ain't never gonna get down to Montecito.

Parks Gal: Why not?

Me: 'Cause. This river don't go to Montecito. You done taken the wrong turn.

See, this here river don't go nowhere near Monetcito

Parks Gal: Where does it go then?

Me: Boy, you are lost.

Parks Gals: Well, hell, I guess this river comes out somewhere, don't it?
That's where we're going, somewhere

then they got out of the kayak, threw it in back of the city truck and hightailed it outta there but fast!

hey Jill...filling the city Parks and Rec Dept with pretty young women is a great idea.. them two had real purty mouths!

next I see the Botanic Garden will closed for a day to host a Beer Party..native plants and native beers is the theme...stumble thru the gardens while sipping numerous beers until you get drunk..then try to navigate your way driving drunk through the winding Mission Canyon roads...fucking stupid events coordinator nonprofit conservatives came up with this Beer Garden idea..they can't do anything without a buzz...

meanwhile some chick crashed her BMW into another traveler and they both ended up on the train tracks... she was DUI and messed with everyone's holiday..then the gov't guys had to clean up after was a violent crash with car parts thrown into the trees...

tits to tans she was a conservative!

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