Sunday, June 26, 2011

the one that got away

the verdict is in on News-Press reporter Peter Lance's fishing expedition...

"Peter does a slick job of intermixing facts and conjecture to create the impression that he has a special truth," says Larry Johnson..a dude who doesn't think Lance is much of a writer..

in the Court of Public Opinion and the counselor chambers of the the Honorable Alfred E Neuman and Honorable Mick Von Caw, we find the defendant, Peter A Lance guilty of alleged DUI, of trying to manipulate public opinion by slipping a mickey in our collective drinks thru the pages of the News-Press, a swizzle stick of a newspaper...

the News-Press is not a credible publication..it's not an incredible publication..in fact it's piece of shit...and unless you got your head up your ass, you can understand that..


now Peter Lance's investigation of his own DUI and subsequent smearing of the cop who arrested him was a lame attempt to prove what a fine investigative journalist he still is....but there was so much nonsense in his five part series that I, as judge, will instruct Peter to give back at least one of his five Emmy awards....
with all the fuss over not enough cops on the street..cries from conservatives KEEP OUR CITY SAFE... cries from the News-Press KEEP OUR CITY SAFE...how can they sit there and ask for more cops and then tell them they shouldn't do their jobs?? like arrest drunk drivers...bunch of hypocrites....

take a deep breath...

Lance and his lawyer Darryl Genis like to say that thousands of DUI cases may be thrown out due to faulty breathalyzers...the reality is a certain unit called the ALCO SENSOR V was allegedly defective..and many of the arrested individuals pleaded no contest or guilty...now they want to go back and say they are innocent because some units were defective...well, if you got pulled over and had nothing to drink and the ALCO said you were drunk, ok..
but these folks were pulled over for a reason...while a few cases may be thrown out, this issue is like a Toyota recalling some cars because the heater didn't work...it's not a big deal and was caught early on....some lawyers are looking to make money on a civil complaint against the faulty meters, but won't deal with you if you pleaded guilty to DUI!!

Who alerted the "authorities"? A peace officer. Did the officers using these devices knowingly and willingly use said device knowing they were defective? No...but interestingly, Lance's lawyer is supposedly authorized to train police officers to use the ALCO while calling them unreliable!! hmmmmm..something is fishy with that!

Darryl Genis is Standardized Field Sobriety Test Instructor (NHTSA / IACP) Owner and operator of all breath machines used in Santa Barbara and San Luis Obispo and Ventura Counties (Draeger 7410, Alco-sensor Mark IV, and Intoxylizer 5000....more into this joker Darryl Genis later....

thank you MADD, Officer Beutel and all the folks who work to keep these impaired JACKASSES off the road...
and to all the boozers out there, sitting in local dimly lit smoke-filled bars, rehashing stories about the one that got away, drinking COORS....or the upscale folks drinking martinis until the soft glow of inebriation bathes you...enjoy yourselves! it's your right...everyone deserves to relax and mix it up now and then...

but when you take that liquid happiness and get behind the wheel of a 2000 lb automobile and start driving, remember this
: that's where your civil rights end, and mine begin....

you got your Colt Malt Liquor..and I got my Colt...Buntline Special....you hit me with your car while you're drunk, and I may deliver you a love letter..straight to your heart, fucker!! and you don't want a love letter from me....

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well, well, well... Let's just hope that if your snotty little tuff boy ever gets to write your love letters, then hopefully your capacity to defend yourself from any pie faced ragin-assed drunk will be as effective as Louis Calvin when he a drunk driver ran him off the road and was trapped in his vehicle but was able to protect himself from physical injury..

Mick Von Caw said...

WTF are you talking about dude

Anonymous said...

Google Buellton Louis Calvin

Mick Von Caw said...

I did and there was some road rage incident between a couple of hillbilly Republicans...COOL!

Nipple to the bottle said...

This Lance dude needs to go back to the nipple. Big Baby. The independent SBNP seems to have a high percentage of disoriented types or DUIs considering the few employees they have. Travis Armstrong comes to mind....

Anonymous said...

What should happen if a cop did fabricate false evidence in order to falsely arrest citizens?

Does anybody think that story about that Sacramento cop, Brandon Mullock, who got busted fabricating BS arrests when the DA happened to watch the vehicle's onboard cam video and discovered the incident contradicted what the cop had reported.

Why would our DA and judge both object to allow Lance and his counsel to question that SBPD DUI officer? That's a defendant's proceedural right. I've heard of objection to irrelevant questions, but for a DA to object to even allow the accuser to even be questioned and for a judge to go along in witholding such cross examination... That tells me they've got something to hide?

What if Lance and these others are not lying, and this cop is dirty? Shit happens... and if she is dirty then she's a threat to public and we're all open game... I say investigate her.