...that blonde woman was playing flute in the woods while I pranced around in a loin cloth like Tarzan.....and that the News-Press issued a retraction on the Peter Lance DUI series after Kasi's lawyers cut Lance's story to pieces....
the retraction went something like this:
to our readers (if we have any left)
over the past month, I, Wendy Pee McCuckoo allowed my mutt editor Don Katich to publish a five-part series written by washed up jouralist Peter Lance...you see Peter was busted for DUI and decided to try to create a distraction while his trial was pending by smearing the cop who busted him..after a few mintues it was evident to nearly everyone except dumbass Don Katich that Lance was on the make, looking for a pigeon, a patsy, a lackey, a stooge and he found one in Don Katich....after some sweet talk by Lance, Katch got all googoo eyed and printed the story without checking anything, trusting that Lance must've been telling the truth because of all those Emmys he won and all those books he wrote .....
Well, Nipper and I fell for it too but we really couldn't do anything because we were in the middle of the Red Sea on my big yacht with Michael Douglas..Michael and I were doing some coke and Nipper was jerkin off in the corner..as usual, the last things on our minds was the News-Press!
so anyway, if we hurt anyone's feelings or ruined their careers, we're very sorry..we're very sorry that we have no ethics...can you teach those?? as publisher and owner of the News-Press, I promise I will provide more local stories and give fair and unbiased reports on issues that matter to you..
sincerely,
Wendy Pee McCuckoo
1 comment:
You mean easily star-struck Katich who loves his cheesy telethon so he can rub shoulder with powerhouses of today like Kenny Logins fell flat on his back and rolled over when Pete Lance flashed his thirty year old Miami Vice credentials and let Lancy-Poo publish his big, bad treatise on the front page of the newspaper Donny is ruining? Who would have thought that kind of mistake would be made by a newspaper editor, oops, I mean news director, oops I mean real estate salesman.
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